Author Topic: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"  (Read 13815 times)

rocqueforte

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The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« on: 25 May 2011, 00:22:58 »
What do people think a BattleTech equivalent of "The Secret Government Warehouse" would contain? In case you've never watched "Raiders of the Lost Ark", "Warehouse 13" or "The X-files", what I'm talking about is a vast warehouse filled with stuff the Government / Illuminati / Grey Aliens don't want the rest of humanity to know about.

Here's a few items to get the discussion started:

Two dog-earred paperback novels
These are Russian translations of George Orwell's "1984" and Aldous Huxley's "Brave New World". Both have numerous sections underlined, and there are copious handwritten notes in the margins (in Russian).
How different would the BattleTech universe be if Nicholas Kerensky had read some Dickens instead...

Cryogenic Stasis Tube #1
- Contains a badly burned woman, age 60+.
This is of course Natasha Kerensky, with 90% burns to her body. The gods help anyone that takes her out of CryoStatis, especially if they're holding a cigarette lighter...

Cryogenic Stasis Tube #2
- Contains a short, rotund asiatic man, age 55+. Chest shows signs of numerous laser rifle wounds.
Stefan Amaris. That wasn't his body they buried on New Samarkand...

Holding Facility A, with 150+ prisoners
- All of the prisoners within this holding facility appear to be wearing Star League naval uniforms.
This is the crew of the Manassas - see "Living Legends" scenario pack.

Holding Facility B, with 53 prisoners
- All of the prisoners within this holding facility appear to be wearing ComStar uniforms from the late 3040's.
This is the crew of the Outbound Light and accompanying DropShips.

Crate, stenciled with the words "K-F Drive Controller - Experimental"
This is the Manassas' faultly drive controller - see Living Legends scenario pack.


TS_Hawk

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #1 on: 25 May 2011, 00:42:30 »
the spoilers didn't work really well.

Thank you Hikage
Agent 694 N. Idaho

Fallen_Raven

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #2 on: 25 May 2011, 01:12:25 »
A collection of books, each different ,each one the authentic diary of Jerome Blake.

Psych evaluations of a small group of people, each claiming to be authors from the 20th century.

A clip of rifle bullets, each with three colored stripes on them.

An original copy of the Rememberance, unedited.

The full report on the Minnesota Tribe incidents.

Katherine Stiener-Davion's bank statements for 3055.

Star League surveys of Stein's Folly, focusing on all life in the swamps.

The Ark of the Covenant prop form Raiders of the Lost Ark. The warehouse manager is a big fan.
Subtlety is for those who lack a bigger gun.

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Sigma

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #3 on: 25 May 2011, 02:03:35 »
Psych evaluations of a small group of people, each claiming to be authors from the 20th century.

Copious notes on one Mike Stackpole who escaped from the C* Phoenix re-education center shortly before Operation Scorpion.

Another stack of notes on a strange man who runs a stable in the Reaches on Solaris VII who seems to have an entire office of 20th century relics in mint condition.

Mountains of material on the mysterious reporter "Starling"

Fear Factory

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #4 on: 25 May 2011, 02:59:07 »
The part of Clan Burrock that got away.

Actually, I think they would be running the warehouse.
The conflict is pure - The truth devised - The future secured - The enemy designed
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PeripheryPirate

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #5 on: 25 May 2011, 03:08:47 »
A file cabinet full of evidence proving that the descendants of Clan Wolverine are, in fact, staving off an alien invasion.

Good job, Wolverines. O0

Lorcan Nagle

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #6 on: 25 May 2011, 03:25:51 »
A fully functional cloning facility (one of those silly SF versions that does memories too) and genetic samples of the original Thomas Marik, Joshua Marik, Victor Steiner-Davion, Agent Curatis, and all three Kerenskies...
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Charlie Tango

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #7 on: 25 May 2011, 03:44:00 »
A fully functional cloning facility (one of those silly SF versions that does memories too) and genetic samples of the original Thomas Marik, Joshua Marik, Victor Steiner-Davion, Agent Curatis, and all three Kerenskies...

We already have that.  It's called the Liao family tree...
"This is a war universe. War all the time. That is its nature.
There may be other universes based on all sorts of other principles, but ours seems to be based on war and games."
  
-- William S. Burroughs

Lorcan Nagle

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #8 on: 25 May 2011, 03:45:22 »
Don't forget Alaric 'Ward's' Bloodhouse as a backup...
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CitizenErased

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #9 on: 25 May 2011, 03:45:50 »
Six Tetatae wearing rumpled suits and sitting around a table in the corner, playing poker.
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Deadborder

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #10 on: 25 May 2011, 05:01:00 »
The Blake Secret Documents.
Author of BattleCorps stories Grand Theft Agro and Zero Signal



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JPArbiter

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #11 on: 25 May 2011, 08:23:02 »
Examples of the Pulverizer, Stag, and Mercury II battlemechs, and numerous examples of enhanced ER PPCs.

Precentor Apollyon's Pelvis, I mean his natural one.

the device that provided Morgan Kell with the Phantom Mech Ability
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Grim_Reaper

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #12 on: 25 May 2011, 08:26:29 »
whatever componets it is thats missing to make BT ranges more realistic  ;)

also preserved body of one of the bird like aliens from Far Country

A. Lurker

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #13 on: 25 May 2011, 10:38:22 »
The collected hushed-up ramblings of assorted lunatics, all claiming to have knowledge of careless gods who play dice with their universe. ;)

I am Belch II

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #14 on: 25 May 2011, 11:15:32 »
You can have a Clan spin off show, with what goes on in the record keepers and the Loremasters of each Clan.
Walking the fine line between sarcasm and being a smart-ass

Klep

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #15 on: 25 May 2011, 11:19:12 »
Several top men.

Bedwyr

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #16 on: 25 May 2011, 11:39:43 »
Several top men.


Plus...


one.

 O0
Alas poor Photobucket. I knew him Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.

Khymerion

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #17 on: 25 May 2011, 13:11:56 »
A tech readout from 50 years in the future... it's still writing itself.  Some of the stories in the write ups are... disturbing.
"Any sufficiently rigorously defined magic is indistinguishable from technology."  - Larry Niven... far too appropriate at times here.

...but sometimes making sure you turn their ace into red paste is more important than friends.

Do not offend the chair leg of truth.  It is wise and terrible.

The GM is only right for as long as the facts back him up.

truetanker

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #18 on: 25 May 2011, 13:34:35 »
also preserved body of one of the bird like aliens from Far Country

Tetatae is the name.

And I like to have a massive Potemkin with Behemoth Dropships attached and the use of a ICE Cargomech with miner attachments to find Kaetetôã. Think of all that gold! I'll even bring a shipment of unrefined steel for " trade ".  ;D

TT
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MistWolf

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #19 on: 25 May 2011, 15:00:18 »
A portfolio containing documents titled "Word of Blake Battle Plans", each accompanied by a nuke and signed by a mysterious Precenter Herb
Obviously jumping into close proximity of a supernova is not going to be good for your warranty

"House Davion, soon after its inception, established itself as a force for freedom in the Inner Sphere. Again, though, this is a relative term. House Davion does not support the Communist, hippie, let’s-all-take-care-of-each-other kind of freedom. No. They have always worked more along the lines of the we-will-occasionally-need-to-invade-your-nation-because-you-don’t-strike-us-as-freedom-loving-enough kind of freedom. To their credit, House Davion leaders occasionally mention the concept of “freedom” as a positive thing, which puts them a ways ahead of peer, say, House Liao and House Kurita" -Battlerun- Best Ever

Col.Hengist

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #20 on: 25 May 2011, 15:40:39 »
An antient 20th century Fiat with a prescription of Stupid pills inside the glove box prescribed to ......( name scratched off )
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Clan Grinch goat- gamma goat.

Sigma

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #21 on: 25 May 2011, 16:02:17 »
The memoirs of the man Arthur Fiat, the only man in the universe lucky enough through an extremely bizarre chain of misjumps to be present at every major historic turning point since 3023.


Stormlion1

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #22 on: 25 May 2011, 16:02:29 »
A bullet with Katherine Steiner-Davions name inscribed on it, unfired.
I don't set an example for others. I make examples of them.

Flaresnake

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #23 on: 25 May 2011, 16:23:08 »
A Katherine Steiner-Davion and Vlad Ward sex tape.
The jump navigation charts to the Tetatae home world.
A copy of the book Objectives: Rim World Republic.
Red Corsair pictures.
Genecaste samples.
« Last Edit: 26 May 2011, 16:12:27 by Flaresnake »
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Knightmare

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #24 on: 25 May 2011, 16:49:02 »
All the stuff supposedly stored on Randis.
The Books supposedly destroyed on Thorin by Amaris.
A complete list of the SLN's WarShips at the time of the Fall.
BeemerCon Summarized. Knightmare, end of turn: "How come none of my weapons fired?"
Look, dude, when you are a real mechwarrior you don't need to get all dressed up in cooling suits and cool helmets to work on your mech. You just strip down to your 1980s panties and crop top vest and start wrenchin' it.
Yen Lo Wang = David Lo Pan

Dread Moores

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #25 on: 25 May 2011, 16:51:56 »
The power of fiat.

Crates of stupid pills.

Boxes of fan rage.

Two of Herb's "reserve" nukes.

The WarShip hit list.

The Clan hit list.

More fan rage.

Stormlion1

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #26 on: 25 May 2011, 16:55:52 »
One really huge Diamond, Hanse's original gift to Melissa on their wedding day, since lost and replaced with "Half the Capellan Confederation".
I don't set an example for others. I make examples of them.

Fallen_Raven

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #27 on: 25 May 2011, 17:09:35 »
The FASA fizziks converter.

Einsteins Theory of why socks go missing.

An experimental cloaking device to make the most common mechs of the sucession wars invisible. It still seems to be running.

A large collection of single socks.
Subtlety is for those who lack a bigger gun.

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Sigma

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #28 on: 25 May 2011, 18:52:03 »
An ancient Kodak Photo album full of pictures and articles. The Kodak stamp is crossed out and below it written in blood are the words "Not Canon".

A small 5 page treatise entitled, The Universal Conspiracy Against Peacetech.

A single pewter miniature bearing a strong resemblance to Atlas ASD-7 Battlemech. Dated late 20th century.

The pay stubs for the Warehouse Collection Unit with a green ghost on the signature stamp in the margin.

Deadborder

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #29 on: 25 May 2011, 19:39:32 »
A combat-damaged F-15 Eagle, painted light grey with red trim; the craft also has Word of Blake markings on the wings. One of the engine covers is missing; the engine inside contains unknown technologies more advanced then even the 3070s.
Author of BattleCorps stories Grand Theft Agro and Zero Signal



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nerd

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #30 on: 25 May 2011, 20:28:50 »
A device that shortens all battlefield ranges down to under 600 meters.
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Medron Pryde

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #31 on: 25 May 2011, 20:35:46 »
A collection all of the Unseen BattleMechs standing on copies of a DVD set of a certain 20th century cartoon.

 8)
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Kiff_Stevenson

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #32 on: 25 May 2011, 20:45:07 »
A hologram projector that produces the only three dimensional map of the inner sphere that was ever made. Mysteriously enough, although the map is current as of January 1, 3025, the casing of the device is engraved with the following:

"Freedonian Aeronautics and Space Administration - Cartographic Division, Copyright 1986"
 ???

Grim_Reaper

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #33 on: 25 May 2011, 20:52:13 »
A bullet with Katherine Steiner-Davions name inscribed on it, unfired.
would be even better if inserted into her manually

Arctic Fox

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #34 on: 25 May 2011, 21:08:22 »
Several thousand tons of Ferro-Fibrous armour, found in one-point sections inside a large box marked "TechManual".

Shijima_3085

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #35 on: 25 May 2011, 21:09:26 »
A badly mauled copy of TRO:2750 thats been poorly rebound.  Most of the entries are unreadable, those which are (mostly the WarShips) are covered in scrawled handwritten notes.  They are all variations of "DONT LISTEN TO THE FOOLS!  THIS IS WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE!"

Centurion13

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #36 on: 25 May 2011, 21:19:34 »
The power of fiat.

Crates of stupid pills.

Boxes of fan rage.

Two of Herb's "reserve" nukes.

The WarShip hit list.

The Clan hit list.

More fan rage.

Damn straight!  ;D

Prince of Darkness

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #37 on: 25 May 2011, 22:09:25 »
A captured soldier from anterior space past the outworld alliance, who speaks with an odd british accent from a "441st Cadian Regiment".  He speaks of something called the "Imperium of Man", several alien races, and appears to be heavily religiously fundamental.

Many believe that the Federated Suns invaded the Capellan Commonwealth as a sort of "wedding present" for Melissa Steiner- the reality is that an odd book was once found on Tikonov in a small, heavily armed Star League bunker.  Named "Technical Readout 3140", it talks of invasions of the "Descendants of Kerensky", massive wars in both realms of space, and devastation never seen since the succession wars.  But what's worse is what occurs when any material that can be used to write with is near to the TRO; if a material like ink, paint, or even human blood are placed near to the TRO, the material will flow from it's source into the book and more information will be added to the paperback.  Whats odd is that the pages are apparently infinite, and due to many "Mishaps" considering it's storage and protection the book has more pages then could be physically allowed.

Right now over 500 different designs are added, all categorized by design and faction and is regularly read by the first prince.  At present, however, its designs have taken a turn for the desperate, and it's writings have become more disturbing.

A tech readout from 50 years in the future... it's still writing itself.  Some of the stories in the write ups are... disturbing.

As a member of the SCP foundation, I find this one very nice!
Cowdragon:
I'm going to type up your response, print it, fold it in half, and look at it like a I would a centerfold. THAT's how sexy your answer was.

Medron Pryde

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #38 on: 25 May 2011, 22:28:00 »
A blue police box.
Col Medron Pryde - DropShip Irregulars - Phoenix Hawk LAM - A Proud Browncoat

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Stormcrow

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #39 on: 25 May 2011, 23:17:13 »
Austin Power's Mojo

Commandant Otto Maurus, ARWH-1Z ArcHammer, Maurus' Minutemen
Captain Obadiah Sykes, OSR-5FCR Ostroc, Second Filtvelt Citizens Militia

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius
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PeripheryPirate

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #40 on: 25 May 2011, 23:49:15 »
A 5" floppy disk labeled "Dr. Weisman's Theory of Fasanomics", assumed to still be in working condition.

Dies Irae

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #41 on: 26 May 2011, 00:34:27 »
A massive metal container marked "Lava Gun" stamped with the Word of Blake Broadsword.

A large archaic looking device suspended within a massive spherical purple tinged bubble. It is theorized that the device itself is responsible for projecting the field. Attempts to breach the bubble are typically met with failure as the electromagnetic dome self-regenerates.

Diplominator

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #42 on: 26 May 2011, 01:06:53 »
1. The entire Charon Mass Relay, carefully removed by WoB and replaced with an amalgamation of asteroids.  Why do you think they had the Erinyes in the first place?

2. The Erinyes. All those ghost stories? Just stories.

3. A typewriter that keeps printing strange messages on its own. The keys only move in its reflection.

Dread Moores

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #43 on: 26 May 2011, 01:16:50 »
3. A typewriter that keeps printing strange messages on its own. The keys only move in its reflection.

Nice reference. Off-topic, but I just heard from a friend that's building a Fringe typewriter to work off of remote control via smartphone. The necessary control equipment is being built, and hidden in the desk itself.

Knightmare

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #44 on: 26 May 2011, 08:42:56 »
Nice reference. Off-topic, but I just heard from a friend that's building a Fringe typewriter to work off of remote control via smartphone. The necessary control equipment is being built, and hidden in the desk itself.

That's pretty neat. I'd love to see that in action.

Add:

What's buried below Fortress Dieron and below Unit City.

Heck, everything that's buried beneath everything.

A twinkie. Everlasting proof they can last forever...
BeemerCon Summarized. Knightmare, end of turn: "How come none of my weapons fired?"
Look, dude, when you are a real mechwarrior you don't need to get all dressed up in cooling suits and cool helmets to work on your mech. You just strip down to your 1980s panties and crop top vest and start wrenchin' it.
Yen Lo Wang = David Lo Pan

Lorcan Nagle

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #45 on: 26 May 2011, 08:55:01 »
What's buried under fortress Dieron? Cap'n Flint's treasure!
The moderator formerly known as the user formerly known as nenechan

Knightmare

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #46 on: 26 May 2011, 08:58:12 »
...also proof the twin babies were eaten by Nicholas Kerensky.

Then I'd like to retcon history so Nicky K will be known as Fat Bastard.
BeemerCon Summarized. Knightmare, end of turn: "How come none of my weapons fired?"
Look, dude, when you are a real mechwarrior you don't need to get all dressed up in cooling suits and cool helmets to work on your mech. You just strip down to your 1980s panties and crop top vest and start wrenchin' it.
Yen Lo Wang = David Lo Pan

Pavel Kerensky

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #47 on: 26 May 2011, 09:11:54 »
The preserved bodies of Natasha Kerensky, Jamie and Joshua Wolf

The secrets to Mr Balks awesome kit bashing skills
"Slavish adherence to formal ritual is a sign that one has nothing better to think about." ----Natasha Kerensky, 2 February 3051

trboturtle

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #48 on: 26 May 2011, 10:30:44 »
A blue police box.

A blue Wombat.

Craig
Author of 32 Battletech short stories including "The Lance Killer," "Hikagemono," "Negotiation," "The Clawing," "Salvage," "The Promise," "Reap What You Sow," "Family Ties," "The Blood of Man," "End of Message," "Heroes' Bridge," "Kurodenkou," "Thirteen," "My Father's Sword," "Evacuation," "Operation Red Lion," "A Matter of Honor," "State of Grace," "Operation Blue Tiger," "A Warrior's Fear," "Shadow Angels," "Murphy's Method," "End of the Road," (IAMTW 2019 Scribe Award nominee!), "Tales of the Cracked Canopy: Blind Arrogance," "Laws Are Silent," "No Tears," "Tales of the Cracked Canopy: Shadows of the Past," and "Three White Roses."
Novels -- Icons of War, Elements of Treason series, "Vengence Games." Upcoming: "In the Shadow of Dragons" and "Poisoned Honor" (WoR #1)

My Blogs!
Battletech:  http://thebattletechstate.blogspot.com/
Other writings: http://trboturtleswritings.blogspot.com/

Stormcrow

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #49 on: 26 May 2011, 11:05:32 »
A blue Wombat.

Craig
...attempting to steal the contents of said Warehouse or putting stuff in. It's hard to tell as the Warehouse is only half full
Commandant Otto Maurus, ARWH-1Z ArcHammer, Maurus' Minutemen
Captain Obadiah Sykes, OSR-5FCR Ostroc, Second Filtvelt Citizens Militia

I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand. - Confucius
Noli Timure Messorem
May God defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies. - Voltaire
Wielder of the Ferro-Carbide Bat of DOOM™

Onisuzume

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #50 on: 26 May 2011, 11:56:13 »
  • A cryogenics container holding an asian man in his 90s wearing a straightjacket. Carved into a metal plate on the container are the words: Open at own risk, in several languages.
  • A collection of diaries signed by one S. McE. and dating between 2770 and 2840.
  • A shrink ray and various WarShip models in various states of construction.
  • The original Star League Memory Core.
  • A jewel-encrusted laser pistol and a skull with a hole in it.
  • A modified 1980's sportscar.
  • The complete memoirs of A. S. K., written in russian.
  • A book titled "My plans for the future", signed by A. S. K.
  • An encyclopædia detailing all intelligent alien life forms (intelligent because they have made no contact with humans).
  • A complete atlas of the Inner Sphere, c2860, signed by J.K. and dated at 2820.
  • A doll dressed in a Star League Officer's Uniform.
  • The complete genælogy of House Liao, a note scribbled on the cover reads "Read at own risk".
  • A crate of files labled "ComStar Secrets".
  • The only working Scorpion LAM.
  • A Zeus with components dating back to 2411.
  • Build plans for the Fortress Republic.
That's it for now.

Glory to the Combine Snow Lily Empire!

SethsMatches

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #51 on: 26 May 2011, 14:35:08 »
 - Snowfire's ID
"Man shouldn't have to live by carbohydrates alone, complex or otherwise." - Spike Spiegal

Nebfer

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #52 on: 26 May 2011, 15:48:02 »
A large box about a meter in size square, white, with pink hearts in the middle of each face. Stenciled on one face is the words; Aperture Science... 

edit:
A combat-damaged F-15 Eagle, painted light grey with red trim; the craft also has Word of Blake markings on the wings. One of the engine covers is missing; the engine inside contains unknown technologies more advanced then even the 3070s.
Of all the things that's wrong with B-tech, fighter engines is not one of them... Their often lighter for a given power, and get way better fuel efficiency, even the Turbines (the MSF gets 1.1 mega newtons, on a 11 ton engine, the F-15C gets 130 kilo newtons on a 1.7 ton engine -a 10.2 to 1 ratio vs 7.8 to 1 ratio in power to weight).

You'd have better luck on electronics or missiles.
« Last Edit: 26 May 2011, 16:12:13 by Nebfer »

Lorcan Nagle

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Klep

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #54 on: 26 May 2011, 19:31:30 »
The missing sock.

Shijima_3085

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #55 on: 26 May 2011, 20:03:41 »
The missing sock.

Which, when turned inside out, produces the other missing sock.  And when *that* one is turned inside out...

CitizenErased

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #56 on: 26 May 2011, 20:37:02 »
Which, when turned inside out, produces the other missing sock.  And when *that* one is turned inside out...

*gasp* Old Man Winters!  :o

Yes, and I would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids and that stupid dog!  >:(
Your friendly neighborhood transgender giant robot enthusiast!

Nebfer

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #57 on: 26 May 2011, 23:44:59 »
Grey F-15 with Red Trim...

Ahh Missed that, I'm not all that failure with that series, so I did not catch the reference.

Onisuzume

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #58 on: 27 May 2011, 05:03:49 »
Ahh Missed that, I'm not all that failure with that series, so I did not catch the reference.
Don't worry, you're not the only one.

Glory to the Combine Snow Lily Empire!

Solarmech

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #59 on: 27 May 2011, 06:44:39 »
A large box about a meter in size square, white, with pink hearts in the middle of each face. Stenciled on one face is the words; Aperture Science... 

Inside the large box is another smaller box that says Episode 3. sm

Guitardian

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #60 on: 27 May 2011, 07:16:23 »
Rhonda Snord's entire mp3 music collection of early 21st century Earth "boy bands" she enjoyed in her tweenage years before becomming an Irregular.

Her uncle Shorty's "exotic" Earth movie collection. He's a creepy little fella, that Uncle Shorty.

LAM plans, locked in the same "the world is not ready" boxes as hybrid automobile plans from 1970s, Marlboro Marijuana Cigarette box designs from the 1980s, and Xfiles from the 1990s
retroactively applied infallibility gets me through the day.

Stormlion1

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #61 on: 27 May 2011, 08:03:14 »
Herbs cat, now with bionics!
I don't set an example for others. I make examples of them.

truetanker

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #62 on: 27 May 2011, 09:38:23 »
Herbs cat, now with bionics!



Just sooo... evily happy!

TT
Khan, Clan Iron Dolphin
Azeroth Pocketverse
That is, if true tanker doesn't beat me to it. He makes truly evil units.Col.Hengist on 31 May 2013
TT, we know you are the master of nasty  O0 ~ Fletch on 22 June 2013
If I'm attacking you, conventional wisom says to bring 3x your force.  I want extra insurance, so I'll bring 4 for every 1 of what you have :D ~ Tai Dai Cultist on 21 April 2016
Me: Would you rather fight my Epithymía Thanátou from the Whispers of Blake?
Nav_Alpha: That THING... that is horrid
~ Nav_Alpha on 10 October 2016

Knightmare

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #63 on: 27 May 2011, 10:25:40 »
I wonder if Randall's beard would make it in the Warehouse...
BeemerCon Summarized. Knightmare, end of turn: "How come none of my weapons fired?"
Look, dude, when you are a real mechwarrior you don't need to get all dressed up in cooling suits and cool helmets to work on your mech. You just strip down to your 1980s panties and crop top vest and start wrenchin' it.
Yen Lo Wang = David Lo Pan

PeripheryPirate

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #64 on: 27 May 2011, 12:41:26 »
Inside the large box is another smaller box that says Episode 3. sm

You can open Companion Cubes?

Blackjack Jones

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #65 on: 27 May 2011, 13:01:54 »
1. A pair of red dice with the following note:

"Do not use until doomsday- J.H."

2. Thousands of metric tons of nuclear, biological, chemical, EMP, nanoweapon, and matter/antimatter warheads
in AC/2 and AC/5 calibers specific to the JM6-S  -The REAL reason for the existence of the Jagermech.

Solarmech

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #66 on: 27 May 2011, 13:11:22 »
You can open Companion Cubes?

No, you can't. But it told me Episode 3 was in there. Companion Cubes are sentient you know.  }:) sm


guardiandashi

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #67 on: 27 May 2011, 13:41:00 »
a small black box that weighs ~10oz with a large note attached

Warning!!
contents highly hazardous

contains 1 Megarea in stasis lock

do not open.
please do not open
do not open until xmas after the 4th of never

known attributes of the contained "Megarea"
1 subject Megarea is a Kleptomaniac
2 subject Megarea does not respect the concepts of "ownership, or property rights"
3 subject Megarea seems to be able to violate several laws of physics
4 subject Megarea has been observed "picking up" battlemechs, and making them disappear (other items "disapeared" include supply crates, parts kits (the 25 ton crates) at least 1 dropship, and various other items.
5 subject Megarea has been observed as both a female ~5'6" in height weighing ~120lbs, and also as a 10' tall 7' wide 16' long tiger that weighs ~2000 lbs and has been clocked at running at speeds of up to 190mph

Rumored attributes
1 Subject Megarea has been rumored to pilot a modified marauder class Battlemech of unknown origin said marauder has been claimed to survive massive attacks without armor breaches.   weapons unknown particle weapon where marauders mount ppc's unknown lasers, 1 ra 1 la 2 ct it appears to have a highly effective ams system consisting of 2 std ams systems, and 1 laser ams system

Bedwyr

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #68 on: 27 May 2011, 13:45:39 »
A box.

In which resides a box, in turn itself containing a box.

Which contains a box.

And inside which are many more box.

Within that box  is another box; one that appears slightly different.  A note sits next to this strange box:


"Timecube.  If U do not know how to wurk this U R educated stupid."
Alas poor Photobucket. I knew him Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy.

Sigma

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #69 on: 27 May 2011, 15:19:31 »
A heavily modified red 1972 Barracuda ragtop. Has a hula girl on the dashboard.

Fallen_Raven

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #70 on: 27 May 2011, 15:30:11 »
Nikola Tesla's notebook, which contains nothing crazy at all.
A list of all the messages recieved from aliens, with a warning about profanity and sexual content. Just because the truth is out there doesn't mean you want to see it.
Three hundred different models of flying car from over a thousand years, all hidden to convince people that we can't build them.

Subtlety is for those who lack a bigger gun.

The Battletech Forums: The best friends you'll ever fire high-powered weaponry at.-JadeHellbringer


Exilyth

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #71 on: 27 May 2011, 17:39:19 »
- An array of strange, bulky mech simulator cockpits, all bearing signs engraved with "Property of the Virtual Geographic League".

- A small device, labeled 'perpetuum mobile'.

- A warship of unknown design bearing the designation "SDF 1". The ship displays moderate battle damage and seems to have been subjected to certain 'unorthodox' repairs.

- A box containing 5 tons of flax.

- A stack of blueprints for rotary weapon types, among them a plan entitled "rotary long tom". (Un-)fortunably, there's a hole burned through most of the stack. Only plans for a "RAC2" and "RAC5" are left intact.

Lorcan Nagle

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #72 on: 27 May 2011, 17:58:51 »
The UFO that crashed on New Avalon in the 3040s, which MIIO covered up claiming it was a prototype Hammerhead with Ferro-Fibrous armour...
The moderator formerly known as the user formerly known as nenechan

Col.Hengist

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #73 on: 27 May 2011, 18:02:26 »
Ok i get most everything people post but 5 tons of flax...
Lyran Commonwealth,6th Donegal Guards-Nightstar
Marian Hegemony, II Legio-Cataphract
Clan Hell's Horses, Gamma Galaxy-Summoner
Clan Grinch goat- gamma goat.

Stormlion1

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #74 on: 27 May 2011, 18:05:20 »
The one thing that everyone is missing the, very planet the Secret Goverment Warehouse built upon, a massive planet sized mech that eats moons to keep itself powered up. Currently shut down and the elevator to the brain is hidden behind several crates of Yvonne Steiner-Davion gone wild vid-tapes.
I don't set an example for others. I make examples of them.

Lorcan Nagle

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Shijima_3085

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #76 on: 27 May 2011, 22:17:48 »
Vermin control is handled by Schrodingers cat.  Nobody knows how old it is, since nobody is certain as to whether its alive or dead, just that there aren't many mice.

Knightmare

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #77 on: 27 May 2011, 23:20:55 »
Proof Jackalopes do exist.
BeemerCon Summarized. Knightmare, end of turn: "How come none of my weapons fired?"
Look, dude, when you are a real mechwarrior you don't need to get all dressed up in cooling suits and cool helmets to work on your mech. You just strip down to your 1980s panties and crop top vest and start wrenchin' it.
Yen Lo Wang = David Lo Pan

SethsMatches

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #78 on: 28 May 2011, 05:58:29 »
A verifiable paper proving Bigfoot does not exist. Verifiably written by Bigfoot.
"Man shouldn't have to live by carbohydrates alone, complex or otherwise." - Spike Spiegal

martian

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #79 on: 28 May 2011, 07:21:18 »
  • The philosopher's stone.
  • A map with the exact location of Atlantis.
  • An audiovisual documentation showing that Terra is actually hollow - and that the "lower one" is actually bigger than the "upper one".
  • A movie poster showing T-800 chassis with attached order from somebody called "The Master": "Immediately investigate the leak of my roentgenogram!" It is addressed to someone named "Apollyon".
  • Pens where the last mammoths and dinosaurs are living. Those mammoths are towing carriages with bulkier items around halls.
  • Tunguska meteorite which was finally found.
  • An antigravity drive with the most important part made of something labeled "cavorite".
  • A patent office folder "Patent for extracting gold from seawater".
  • In the basement of this warehouse is a gigantic swimming pool containing equally gigantic Kraken (Architeuthis princeps). Only the bravest employees have the guts to dip in. There was found a towel embroidered with "Prof. B.Habeas".

SethsMatches

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #80 on: 28 May 2011, 07:48:31 »
  • Details of the ACTUAL organisation that provides Wolfnet with all its intel. (As per the only "credible" theory that emerged from this thread ::)  </sarcasm>)
  • That guy who sits in front of the lifts (elevators) in the MIB buidling reading his newspaper. Except he's on a bench outside the hangar doors
"Man shouldn't have to live by carbohydrates alone, complex or otherwise." - Spike Spiegal

Knightmare

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #81 on: 28 May 2011, 07:56:09 »
  • An audiovisual documentation showing that Terra is actually hollow - and that the "lower one" is actually bigger than the "upper one".

I immediately thought:

Proof Terra has a Dyson Sphere at its center populated by Aliens that use the Antarctic and Arctic Circles as entrance points.

Proof Vernes' "Journey to the Center of the Earth" was an alien cover up. 
BeemerCon Summarized. Knightmare, end of turn: "How come none of my weapons fired?"
Look, dude, when you are a real mechwarrior you don't need to get all dressed up in cooling suits and cool helmets to work on your mech. You just strip down to your 1980s panties and crop top vest and start wrenchin' it.
Yen Lo Wang = David Lo Pan

Grim_Reaper

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #82 on: 28 May 2011, 08:26:56 »
the bank of Clone-a-matic machines that WOB used to build up thier forces (how else could they have done it)

Khymerion

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #83 on: 28 May 2011, 08:39:29 »
The patent for the magical command and control equipment that allows a single regiment to hold an entire world.
"Any sufficiently rigorously defined magic is indistinguishable from technology."  - Larry Niven... far too appropriate at times here.

...but sometimes making sure you turn their ace into red paste is more important than friends.

Do not offend the chair leg of truth.  It is wise and terrible.

The GM is only right for as long as the facts back him up.

Stormlion1

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #84 on: 28 May 2011, 09:13:40 »
Joshua Marik, alive and well and wearing the Master's robes.
I don't set an example for others. I make examples of them.

RedMarauder

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #85 on: 28 May 2011, 09:20:37 »
Six Tetatae wearing rumpled suits and sitting around a table in the corner, playing poker.

Elvis is the Dealer ;D
Save the Humans.

Grim_Reaper

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #86 on: 28 May 2011, 10:12:32 »
The patent for the magical command and control equipment that allows a single regiment to hold an entire world.
working model for the device that allows a single Lance to hold a world (lost since before teh 4th SW)

Khymerion

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #87 on: 28 May 2011, 10:51:29 »
working model for the device that allows a single Lance to hold a world (lost since before teh 4th SW)

Curses to our Wobble overlords for stealing these!
"Any sufficiently rigorously defined magic is indistinguishable from technology."  - Larry Niven... far too appropriate at times here.

...but sometimes making sure you turn their ace into red paste is more important than friends.

Do not offend the chair leg of truth.  It is wise and terrible.

The GM is only right for as long as the facts back him up.

Brigand

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #88 on: 28 May 2011, 11:21:16 »
The Helm Memory Core

The two most recent catalogs for Natasha's Secret, the hottest intimate wear and cooling vest styles to hit Solaris

A crate of water purifier control chips with Vault 13's address on it

Nebfer

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #89 on: 28 May 2011, 11:48:07 »
A small black book with the words Don't Panic written in large friendly letters...

guardiandashi

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Re: The BattleTech "Secret Government Warehouse"
« Reply #90 on: 28 May 2011, 11:53:45 »
a box that is labeled open to "win"

inside is another box, labled I Win Button some assembly required..

inside is a jumble of parts and a multi page parts list

after assembling 99% of the "I win button" you discover 1 part is missing... the "broken I win button" sometimes looted in alterac Valley