Author Topic: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment  (Read 23281 times)

Dies Irae

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 768
The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« on: 27 September 2017, 19:49:42 »
As a long time BattleTech player, a new player posed a question to me on what was the most 'forgettable' BattleTech 'Mech. Something whose combination of stats, fluff, artwork and name was so utterly bland that it gets relegated to the scrapheap of the mind and actually requires effort or prompting to remember.

Despite the response that if something was THAT level of overall bland, I wouldn't be able to respond to the question, on a lark, I sat down with the MUL open and slowly scrolled. And that's the thing. There are many AWFUL 'Mechs, but those are memorable. It's really hard to find something so mediocre on all fronts you don't have any recollection of it existing at all.

So... the question is, what's the most forgettably mediocre BattleTech 'Mech you can come up with? The one you have no recollection of existing until you actually flip open a TRO and peruse the contents. Answers are sort of expected to differ between players, but I'm sure everyone has a machine they've entirely forgotten existed.

Daryk

  • Lieutenant General
  • *
  • Posts: 37359
  • The Double Deuce II/II-σ
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #1 on: 27 September 2017, 19:53:13 »
Um, most clan 'mechs?  The only ones I'm even remotely familiar with are the omnis from TRO 3050, and I'm not even sure I could name all of them...

Deadborder

  • Lieutenant Colonel
  • *
  • Posts: 7883
  • Technical Victory!
    • Elmer Studios Blog
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #2 on: 27 September 2017, 19:57:52 »
The Thunder Hawk. Turrettech at its worst.
Author of BattleCorps stories Grand Theft Agro and Zero Signal



How to Draw MegaMek Icons the Deadborder Way. Over 9000 so far. Determination or madness?

Easy

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 591
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #3 on: 27 September 2017, 20:39:03 »
DV-6M Dervish

worktroll

  • Ombudsman
  • Lieutenant General
  • *
  • Posts: 25648
  • 504th "Gateway" Division
    • There are Monsters in my Sky!
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #4 on: 27 September 2017, 20:43:16 »
Whitworth, commonly nicknamed the "Worthless".

Which it isn't, but ... bland is a very good word for it.

It's kind of odd, but the more flawed a design is, the more one-trick-pony it is, the more some segment of the fanbase loves it. JagerMech, Rifleman, Urbanmech, I'm looking at you ;)
* No, FASA wasn't big on errata - ColBosch
* The Housebook series is from the 80's and is the foundation of Btech, the 80's heart wrapped in heavy metal that beats to this day - Sigma
* To sum it up: FASAnomics: By Cthulhu, for Cthulhu - Moonsword
* Because Battletech is a conspiracy by Habsburg & Bourbon pretenders - MadCapellan
* The Hellbringer is cool, either way. It's not cool because it's bad, it's cool because it's bad with balls - Nightsky
* It was a glorious time for people who felt that we didn't have enough Marauder variants - HABeas2, re "Empires Aflame"

Wildonion

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 741
  • I'm just a few onions short of a patch.
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #5 on: 27 September 2017, 20:52:01 »
The Lynx and the Night Hawk are both pretty forgettable for me. So much so that I thought their art was for the same 'Mech until I started digging through the TROs in order to answer your question!

Iceweb

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 769
  • Lyran Engineer
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #6 on: 27 September 2017, 21:06:33 »
Not a mech but the MAGI tank is rather forgettable. 
When you pull something off with the Hetzer you feel good. 
But when is the last time you took a MAGI? 
Or even thought about the thing? 

StoneRhino

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2269
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #7 on: 27 September 2017, 21:10:08 »
The Hornet and Falcon. The only reason that I remember them is that I have been trying to push myself to buy one of each to complete my I.S. 3025/3050 collection for probably over 2 years now. The falcon was picked up in a lot, while the Hornet is something that I cannot get myself to pull the trigger on.

Sure, the mech is probably up there for the running of cutest, most cuddly mech that would appeal to little kids, thus infecting them with the love of giant robotic things but at what cost? There is the risk that it might become the next Urbanmech.

Sharpnel

  • Colonel
  • *
  • Posts: 13414
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #8 on: 27 September 2017, 21:28:31 »
I find the Hellstar bland. It's min-maxers wet dream, So powerful that it is actually boring to use.
Consigliere Trygg Bender, CRD-3BL Crusader, The Blazer Mafia
Takehiro 'Taco' Uchimiya, SHD-2H Shadow Hawk 'Taco', Crimson Oasis Trading Company

"Of what use is a dream, if not a blueprint for courageous action" -Adam West
As I get older, I realize that I'm not as good as I once was.
"Life is too short to be living someone else's dream" - Hugh Hefner

Natasha Kerensky

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 3454
  • Queen of Spades, First Lady of Death, Black Widow
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #9 on: 27 September 2017, 21:34:48 »

The old, original CLNT-2-3T Clint.  AC/5s are inherently bland.  Even more so a nondescript, low-end, medium mech built around a single AC/5.  Yawn... zzzzzzzzz...
"Ah, yes.  The belle dame sans merci.  The sweet young thing who will blast your nuts off.  The kitten with a whip.  That mystique?"
"Slavish adherence to formal ritual is a sign that one has nothing better to think about."
"Variety is the spice of battle."
"I've fought in... what... a hundred battles, a thousand battles?  It could be a million as far as I know.  I've fought for anybody who offered a decent contract and a couple who didn't.  And the universe is not much different after all that.  I could go on fighting for another hundred years and it would still look the same."
"I'm in mourning for my life."
"Those who break faith with the Unity shall go down into darkness."

Fat Guy

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 5004
  • I make beer disappear. What's your superpower?
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #10 on: 27 September 2017, 21:51:27 »
The Vulcan. Supposedly an anti-infanrty 'Mech, it isn't very good against infantry (or much else).
I have spoken.


Colt Ward

  • Lieutenant General
  • *
  • Posts: 28993
  • Gott Mit Uns
    • Merc Periphery Guide- Bakunin
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #11 on: 27 September 2017, 21:52:41 »
I can go with the Lynx, since I was overlooking it thinking my way 'up' the weight scale . . . I was thinking I would eventually pick some mostly energy armed 3/5 but the medium works as well.  Since it sits int he same niche as Cronus, Starslayer, Wolverine and to a lesser extend the Griffin its something I mostly skim past.
Colt Ward
Clan Invasion Backer #149, Leviathans #104

"We come in peace, please ignore the bloodstains."

"Greetings, Mechwarrior. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Daoshen and the Capellan armada."

Dies Irae

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 768
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #12 on: 27 September 2017, 22:01:24 »
The Eagle.

Seriously. I'm a Marik player, and I still forget this forgettable platform exists on a regular basis. It's a slow light with a partial electronics package. Fluffed as an export model. And utterly forgettable artwork. The fact that the name is shared with an Aerospace fighter doesn't help it.

Not terrible in a memorable way ala the UrbanMech, not great at one thing ala the Owens, just... so blah it slips into the nether. That said, I forgot the Lynx existed as well. So there's that.
« Last Edit: 27 September 2017, 22:03:20 by Dies Irae »

Sharkapult

  • Sergeant
  • *
  • Posts: 136
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #13 on: 27 September 2017, 22:22:57 »
I'd say the Wyvern. Always seems to be overlooked.
Although I have to agree with the Clint above also. Another bouncy AC5 medium... Snorefest.

Firesprocket

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2961
  • 3601 S Broad St. Phila. PA 19148
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #14 on: 27 September 2017, 22:30:38 »
My initial response was going to be the Vulcan, but the Eagle is definitely easy to forget and I even own one.

Nav_Alpha

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 3679
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #15 on: 27 September 2017, 22:33:45 »
The Thunder Hawk. Turrettech at its worst.

THIS!


"Hold your position, conserve ammo... and wait for the Dragoons to go Feral"
- last words of unknown merc, Harlech, 3067

worktroll

  • Ombudsman
  • Lieutenant General
  • *
  • Posts: 25648
  • 504th "Gateway" Division
    • There are Monsters in my Sky!
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #16 on: 27 September 2017, 22:37:41 »
The Eagle.

Seriously. I'm a Marik player, and I still forget this forgettable platform exists on a regular basis.

Quoted for truth - I also forgot its existance, which means a lot! Hammer and Anvil aren't quite as forgettable, but still pretty bland.

The Yeoman would be bland if it wasn't so gloriously stupid looking.
* No, FASA wasn't big on errata - ColBosch
* The Housebook series is from the 80's and is the foundation of Btech, the 80's heart wrapped in heavy metal that beats to this day - Sigma
* To sum it up: FASAnomics: By Cthulhu, for Cthulhu - Moonsword
* Because Battletech is a conspiracy by Habsburg & Bourbon pretenders - MadCapellan
* The Hellbringer is cool, either way. It's not cool because it's bad, it's cool because it's bad with balls - Nightsky
* It was a glorious time for people who felt that we didn't have enough Marauder variants - HABeas2, re "Empires Aflame"

Valkerie

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2522
  • Gravity always wins.
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #17 on: 27 September 2017, 22:39:24 »
Hermes II (and I for that matter).  Always forget about them.  And I own one to boot  :o
There is no avoiding war; it can only be postponed to the advantage of others.   -Machiavelli

Greetings, Mechwarrior!  You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against...Oops, wrong universe.  -unknown SLDF Recruiter

Because overkill is underrated my friend.  -John "Hannibal" Smith

Unit/Scheme of the Month Master Index

Easy

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 591
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #18 on: 27 September 2017, 22:51:10 »
"Sir! Our forward deployed scouts have observed the landing field! The raiders are deplopying a Lance of BattleMechs!"

"Good Heavens, Corporal! Calm down!"

"Yes, sir. The 'Mechs are moving towards the depot, sir."

"Alright, then. Give me the unit composition."

"Sir. A Wyvern, a Falcon, a Night Hawk and a Hornet, sir."

"And? Are you sure that isn't the training lance we sent on maneuvers last week?"


Roscoe's Forgettables failed to strike terror in the Periphery worlds spinward, but nobody could quite remember them clearly enough to tell the hired mercenary garrison how to find them, thus ensuring a long career of rolling exactly 7 every single time.
« Last Edit: 27 September 2017, 22:54:28 by Easy »

jh316

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 407
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #19 on: 27 September 2017, 23:00:44 »
Giving the Sentinel my vote.

Phobos101

  • Master Sergeant
  • *
  • Posts: 243
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #20 on: 28 September 2017, 01:55:31 »
The old, original CLNT-2-3T Clint.  AC/5s are inherently bland.  Even more so a nondescript, low-end, medium mech built around a single AC/5.  Yawn... zzzzzzzzz...

+1. and even the name. Clint? "we named it after the admin department's employee of the month". I'm falling asleep just thinking about it.

Colt Ward

  • Lieutenant General
  • *
  • Posts: 28993
  • Gott Mit Uns
    • Merc Periphery Guide- Bakunin
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #21 on: 28 September 2017, 02:51:15 »
Clint pilots typically wonder if their targets feel lucky when they level that giant AC at them.
Colt Ward
Clan Invasion Backer #149, Leviathans #104

"We come in peace, please ignore the bloodstains."

"Greetings, Mechwarrior. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the Frontier against Daoshen and the Capellan armada."

Getz

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 753
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #22 on: 28 September 2017, 03:52:03 »
The Eagle.

Seriously. I'm a Marik player, and I still forget this forgettable platform exists on a regular basis. It's a slow light with a partial electronics package. Fluffed as an export model. And utterly forgettable artwork. The fact that the name is shared with an Aerospace fighter doesn't help it.

Not terrible in a memorable way ala the UrbanMech, not great at one thing ala the Owens, just... so blah it slips into the nether. That said, I forgot the Lynx existed as well. So there's that.

I was going to to pitch in on the Whitworth, but this is so absolutely spot on.  About the only  thought I've ever given the Eagle was, "meh" before flipping to the next page.  It's not bad in any way, in fact it's reasonably useful but it's just so uninspiring and forgettable...

I fell out of favour with heaven somewhere, so I'm here for the hell of it now...

Dies Irae

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 768
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #23 on: 28 September 2017, 04:42:34 »
The Cestus might still win this for disappearing from TRO 3058 and me not noticing.

Kidd

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 3535
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #24 on: 28 September 2017, 06:49:48 »
...practically every single Solaris VII Mech from 3055 Upgrade, other than the infamous Great Turtle.... :D

Mattlov

  • Catalyst Demo Team
  • Lieutenant
  • *
  • Posts: 1210
  • Fnord.
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #25 on: 28 September 2017, 07:22:22 »
The Arctic Fox.  The Inner Sphere Light Omni that absolutely no one uses or remembers exists.
"The rules technically allow all sorts of bad ideas." -Moonsword


JadeHellbringer

  • Easily Bribed Forum Administrator
  • Administrator
  • Colonel
  • *
  • Posts: 21743
  • Third time this week!
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #26 on: 28 September 2017, 08:23:47 »
Hermes II (and I for that matter).  Always forget about them.  And I own one to boot  :o

Came here to post this exactly. I'm even a pretty hardcore Marik fan and I forget these exist... pretty sure that's an intentional reaction by my mind. "NOPE, not looking at that lemon, let's go shopping for a nice Assassin or Clint instead please, move right along!"

I'd also give a vote to the Linebacker, which is both terrible and forgettable at the same time. It's a 6/9 heavy, yaaaaay... except most competition to it is 5/8, which isn't far enough of a drop to be noticeable in most combat situations. To do that, it has the pod space of a Mech half its size (hello Cougar and Adder). How thrilling. There's never been a good combat situation in which I look at my options and think 'I need me a LINEBACKER for this job'- invariably if there's a niche I need that kind of Mech for, I lean for Summoners, Ebon Jaguars, Stormcrows, making the pilot walk, just... Linebackers never even enter my way of thinking. It's bad to the point that it's immediately discounted in my mind before even being considered.
"There's a difference between the soldier and his fight,
But the warrior knows the true meaning of his life."
+Larry and his Flask, 'Blood Drunk'+

"You know, basically war is just, like, a bunch of people playing pranks on each other, but at the end they all die."
+Crow T. Robot+

snewsom2997

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2187
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #27 on: 28 September 2017, 08:44:40 »
Most of the Mechs from 3055, 3060, 3067, 3075, etc.

Kovax

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2421
  • Taking over the Universe one mapsheet at a time
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #28 on: 28 September 2017, 09:00:28 »
If jh316 hadn't posted it, I wouldn't have remembered the name: Sentinel.  Basically just another nondescript 6/9 AC/5-wielding low-end Medium with inadequate backup firepower and nothing else noteworthy about it, other than that Comstar sent a bunch of them to the DCMS out of pity, and the DCMS actually used them out of desperation.  The Clint and Hermes II fall into roughly the same category (the Clint jumps, the Hermes II has decent armor), but at least the Hermes II has an interesting 2M variant that punts some serious posterior as a back-stabber.  Meanwhile, the Sentinel seems to be a prize-winning example of "how to utilize the available tonnage in the most useless way possible".

The Whitworth is a somewhat uninspiring design, but it's seriously efficient for the cost, and a perfectly "textbook" bracket-fire design.  Spam LRMs until the bins run dry, and all of the stuff on the front lines is full of holes, then close with the triple MLs to exploit the damage.  You just don't want them on the front line at the start of the fight.  Basically, it does nearly as much with 40 tons (2xLRM-10 + 3xML) as a Dervish manages with 55 (2xLRM-10 + 2xML + 2xSRM-2), except for one movement point; if you're parking it in the back row, that movement point isn't all that critical.  Considering how often I use them for supporting fire (as a poor man's Archer), I'm in no danger of forgetting about them.

The Vulcan may be a pathetic waste against other 'Mechs, but if you're running tanks, hovercraft, or VTOLs, one of the LAST things you want to see on the other end of the map is a Vulcan.  The AC/2 WILL reach out and touch you, and almost inevitably do nasty things to your motive systems.  If you're running another 'Mech, you laugh at it.

The Eagle?  There is an Eagle?  I seem to have forgotten it for some reason, despite frequently fielding a Marik force.
« Last Edit: 28 September 2017, 09:06:16 by Kovax »

Sellsword

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 495
Re: The Blandest of the Bland - A BattleTech Thought Experiment
« Reply #29 on: 28 September 2017, 09:10:00 »
Initiate

Not really bland.  Can something with 3 ER small lasers be bland?  But I never remember it exists when putting together a WOB unit.
« Last Edit: 28 September 2017, 09:12:31 by Sellsword »