Deadborder's Dubious MegaMek Awards

[scJazz]

I hereby award the Fearful Symmetry award to both my own mercenary unit and the pirates they were facing - because, in the same round of battle, the mercenary Awesome destroyed the pirate Crusader via ammunition explosion, and the pirate Awesome destroyed the mercenary Crusader via ammunition explosion. In both cases, the full LRM ammo bin in the right torso exploded.

lulz! I <3 symmetry!

[Sir Chaos]

For my most recent game, I have some awards to give out.

The Holy WOW award goes to the one Batu B in my force, for killing 8 tanks (Bulldog, 2x Maxim, Hunter, Saracen, Scimitar, Harasser, Packrat) and knocking some 40 points´ worth of armor off a Catapult - all in the same strafing run.
On a related note, PrincessBot gets the With enemies like these, who needs allies award, for so helpfully lining its units up for strafing runs.

The I feel underappreciated award goes to the other Batu B in my force, for scoring lots of hits on three enemy ASF, two mechs, and three tanks, but not getting even a single kill credit out of the deal.

[Deadborder]

I admit that it's been a long time. Real life, changing schedules and other things (such as seals) have kept me away from the ol' MegaMeks. But I did finally finish a game! Amazing, huh?

Following up from the last battle, the Taurians were so impressed with their mercenaries, that they sent them after a particularity bothersome pirate group. A section of the mercenary unit managed to corner the pirates in a ruined city and moved in for the kill. And while they did eventually deliver a rather crushing defeat to the pirates (only two of the Pirate 'Mechs managed to escape to only a single merc loss) the battle itself was... awkward. Naturally, this could be best surmised in dubious awards.

The Man of the Match award goes to... nobody really. There was a lot of arseing around on both sides with 'Mechs that should have been deadly being anything but. Nobody deserves the award; the closest that you could get would be a "Least Inept" award which would probably go to the mercenary Thunderbolt for having no egregious screw-ups by the end of the day.

The Kevin Sembedia's Revenge award goes to the Mercenary Warhammer IIC. Being the only Clantech 'Mech on the field and having the best pilot on the field should have made it a one-man wrecking crew, right? Rather, the pilot was consistently missing easy shots, like missing four 5+ in a row. In fact, there was only one time when it did manage to land more then it missed in one turn, which lead to...

The Grievous Tactical Misstep award goes to the pirate commander who managed to wind up with their Longbow going toe-to-toe with said Warhammer IIC. In addition to being the worst place for a Longbow to be, it was also the one time the Warhammer managed to hit with a full (and easy) alpha. That ended badly.

The Ol' Yellerbelly award went to the Pirate Griffin who spent most of the battle avoiding any contact at all with enemy forces. It occasionally took a few sniper shots but mostly stayed in cover and out of LoS. This may have been justified, as one of the few times it did venture out, it suffered a hip hit.

The Shia LeBouf Driving School award went to the Mercenary Cadaver which managed to fail numerous piloting skill rolls, including skidding and picking itself up from skidding. It suffered more damage from falls then anything else.

The Caitlin Fairchild award for Indestructible Nudity goes to the Mercenary Guillotine, which manged to be stripped of nearly all its front armour while not suffering a single critical hit.

The Man of Iron award went to a pirate Toro which managed to be pummeled mercilessly from numerous 'Mechs and yet didn't go down easily. It spent a lot of time limping around, badly damaged and yet managing to hold together better then some heavier 'Mechs on the field. This becomes even more impressive when you consider that it was a primitive variant

Finally, the Be Right There award went to the Mercenary Ravager squad which, due to it's poor initial deployment, spent the entire battle slowly trudging across the battlefield without ever getting close enough to contribute.

[Deadborder]

After "negotiations" broke down, a Bannsons Raiders force were sent to "convince" the owners of an oil refinery to hand it over to them. However, the owners were wisely prepared for such an eventuality, and had hired mercenaries to protect their assets and discourage such adventurism. Naturally, a battle ensued, but the actual result was... unexpected.

In fact, it's fair to say that the Dubious Awards explain what happened best

The Man of the Match award is a unique one, in that it didn't go to the unit that got the most kills or did the most damage; in so far as it got none of the first and very little of the second. Instead, it goes to a Raider IS Standard Battle Armour squat that spent most of the battle hopping building to building, spotting for LTC fire for a lance of Rommel Howitzers. This almost worked out fantastically for them. Almost.

The Zindy the Swamp Boy award goes to the Mercenary Grasshopper for its amazingly stupid demise. It managed to get bogged down in a swamp hex (while moving to shoot a downed Lamprey no less) which put it in among several of its allies... and an easy mark for the aforesaid Rommel Howitzers. They promptly more or less hit it and its allies.

However, the next turn it remained stuck, and wound up being pummeled again by said Rommels along with more of its allies. To add to its misfortune, at the end of the turn it simply sank into the swamp and was destroyed.

The Wrong Place Wrong Time award goes to a mercenary Arblest that managed to get itself splashed by numerous LTC shots, even if none of them were aimed at it. This eventually resulted in its destruction at the hands of a scattered LTC shot.

The Raised Middle Finger award goes to a Raider Lamprey that was shot down by a Mercenary Victor. Downed and immobilized, it still splashed the Victor with two volleys of Infernos. This generated enough heat to cook off the Vic's SRM ammo and blow it's side apart.

The Presenting Like A Mandril award goes to the Mercenary Scorpion which managed to get itself bogged down in a swamp hex, something that takes extra effort when you're a Quad. It also leftbit marooned alone with five Raider 'Mechs firing on it at once.

The This Was Never A Good Plan award went to the Mercenary Centurion who decided to rush the Raider commander... who was in an Emperor. And was their best shot. That cost it its right arm and made it reconsider its options.

The I Have Cover, I Am Not Leaving It award goes to the Mercenary Ursa which spent several turns shuffling from one Smoke hex to another to little effect.

Finally, the Its the last turn, I'll do what I want award went to the Raider Rommel Howitzer which accidentally set off a fuel tank with a stray shot... and triggered a chain reaction across several more tanks. This had the end result of destroying three Mercenary tanks (Tokugawa, Patton and a Tamerlane that was nowhere near the intended target) as well as a Grey Death Standard squad while also scorching the cowardly Ursa and detonating the ammo on the one-armed Centurion. It also scorched a friendly Panther and Emperor as well as destroying the friendly (and Man of the Match winner) IS Standard Battle Armour squad and most amazingly, a Lamprey that was flying overhead at the time.

So who won? That's a good question

On one hand, The Bannsons Raiders force suffered only four casualties (two Lampreys and two Battle Armour squads), and three of those were the results of friendly fire. Conversely, only three of the Mercenaries survived; a one-armed Victor, a Thunder Fox and a Sloth squad. And while the Raiders were in control of the refinery, half of it was destroyed thanks to their own actions.

None of the four Rommels took any damage at all in the battle, not even from their own stupidity.

[Sir Chaos]

Seems like the Raider force is due a King Pyrrhus Memorial Award for Counterproductive Victory.

[pheonixstorm]

Doh!  [wildandcrazy] @p? :idiot2:

[Sir Chaos]

Indeed, somebody needs to re-read Sun Tsu´s classic "On the Folly of Using Area-Effect Weapons Near Targets One Wishes To Capture Intact".

[Deadborder]

When you're a bottom-feeder Merc unit, you can't afford to be choosy about the contracts you take. So when a mining company hires you to drive a off a nomad group so they can strip mine large chunks of a Periphery world, you don't consider the ethics of the situation and go to it. And when the nomads turn out to be well armed and experts at scavenging equipment and the fight turns nastier then expected, then you have to run with it as you're not getting paid otherwise.

So in the end, the Mercs did win, although there were plenty of Dubious Awards to be handed out along the way.

The Man of The Match award goes to the Mercenary Thunderbolt for managing to score a whopping four kills during the match including the heaviest 'Mech and tank kills. While it lost a lot of armour along the way, it did such without suffering a single critical hit

The Bad Opener goes award to the Nomad Dervish which was hit twice in the first round of fire by the only two shots from either side to make their mark. One of them was a TAC on the Center Torso which scored an Engine hit, and the other was a PPC to the face

The Not Ready For Raiding award goes to the Nomad Zhukov tank. After the woods hex it was in caught fire, it chose to hunker down in there and risk the chance of exploding simply because of the amount of cover it offered

The Poor BV Investment award goes to the Merc commander and his Stalker, easily the most expensive unit on the field. It spent most of the battle hanging around at the back, lobbing LRMs and the occasional Large Laser shot and did little to actually contribute to the battle

The Taking One For The Team award went to the Nomad Quasit MilitaMech. With the Nomad commander's 'Mech out of LoS, it wound up being the only thing visible for a lance of enemy heavy 'Mechs, and went from "fresh" to "smoking rubble" in one turn

Finally, the Harpo Award for Participation went to the Nomad Light SRM carrier who, in possibly the most dubious moment of this one dubious award, never even had LoS to a single enemy unit in the entire battle. Instead it sulked in a valley and made no effort to get out of it or engage.

[JenniferinaMAD]

I would like to award the 'I'm halping!' medal to the ai Vedette in an AtB mission. My awesome, having just stepped into an intersection on a heavy urban map, taking aim at a demolisher II 10 hexes away was first joined by one vedette, and then shoved out of the way by a skidding second one, pushing me into the sideroad with nothing to shoot. Thanks mates, you're the best  >:(

[epic]

Sharing a few from our ongoing campaign:

The Daffy Duck Special Award for Artillery goes to the infantry Sniper crew who managed to lob a shell that drifted back and blew them up instead.

The Little Engine that Could award award goes to the brave locust pilot going to point blank range against Captain Royce in his Warhammer D and kicking him in the shins, and making him fall down... twice.  Then getting to withdraw and live and tell the tale.  I can't even imagine the amount of drinks that his buddies bought him...

The More Guts than Brains goes to the plucky Drac Locust pilot (again with the Locusts?!) who stood his one legged mech in a strong gale and blowing sand to face down a Vulcan 5T and a Jenner F variant coming from behind.

He ALSO gets the From Hell's Heart I Stab at Thee award for even then, after being taken out, blowing his MG ammo and damaging both mechs, including a head hit from the ammo explosion on the Vulcan pilot.

The Heads Will Roll award award goes to the Valkyrie Flea who stepped on a 30 point conventional minefield and had their entire mech blown up other than the head...

and lastly...

World Cup of Battletech Soccer award goes to the Memmingen Defenders and Jensen's Renegades... as seen below:

Physical attacks for Phoenix Hawk PXH-1 (Memmingen Defenders)
    Kick (Left leg) at Wolverine WVR-6MC (Jensen's Renegades); needs 6, rolls 2 : misses.

Physical attacks for Warhammer WHM-6R #2 (Memmingen Defenders)
    Kick (Left leg) at Phoenix Hawk PXH-1 (Jensen's Renegades); needs 6, rolls 4 : misses.

Physical attacks for Archer ARC-2R (Jensen's Renegades)
    Kick (Left leg) at Vulcan VL-5T (Memmingen Defenders); needs 5, rolls 3 : misses.

It would have TRULY been soccer if everyone had fallen down afterwards...

[Sir Chaos]

Got one, too, from a game last night.

The Are You Sure He´s Dead Enough award goes to the pilot of a Thor Prime, who started a round with some armor damage, only to be killed when enemy fire set off all three ammo bins, then having the cockpit critted with a floating TAC, and finally for good measure having the head destroyed. In retrospect, it´s a pity I didn´t have Skin-of-Teeth Ejection enabled; it would have been fun to see him die a fourth time when he botched that.

[scJazz]

Got one, too, from a game last night.

The Are You Sure He´s Dead Enough award goes to the pilot of a Thor Prime, who started a round with some armor damage, only to be killed when enemy fire set off all three ammo bins, then having the cockpit critted with a floating TAC, and finally for good measure having the head destroyed. In retrospect, it´s a pity I didn´t have Skin-of-Teeth Ejection enabled; it would have been fun to see him die a fourth time when he botched that.

LMAO!

[Perigrin]

The Lorknis award for absolute crap luck goes to a Wolverine who tripped, fell down and missed with every weapon shot, and was promptly critter to the cockpit by one punch from a one armed stinger. Fatally.

[Caedis Animus]

A pretty low key affair;

Clan Blood Spirit Star (AI) versus Clan Star Adder Star (Player) in an Urban Environment.

Man of the Match - The Blood Spirit Warhawk C. Accounting for causing all three of the Star Adder Star casualties, the Warhawk C fought to the death as valiantly as it could. If it had not been directly responsible for three kills-two of which were in one turn-it would have been applying for recieving the participation reward, as it spent the first four turns failing all of its PSRs and sliding into buildings all over the damn place.

Regicide - Awarded to the Star Adder Summoner B, for killing the Man of the Match with a well-timed DFA, dealing 15 points of damage to the cockpit.This was while getting hammered by the Warhawk's primary armament anyways.

Participation Award - Given to the Blood Spirit Blood Kite Standard. While it did attempt to fight the Star Adder Blood Asp B, it tended to flub every attack roll it made, before finally getting shut down by a Heavy Large Laser headshot from an Ebon Jaguar H.

Macross Stylee - Awarded to the Star Adder Kraken 3, which spent every turn it could firing all of its missile racks. This was responsible for two kills, especially with help from the Star Adder Summoner B's NARC beacon.

Suicidal Overconfidence - Awarded to the Blood Spirit Mad Dog B, which managed to have three enemies shooting at it at once when it ran smack into the middle of the Star Adder group. The results were messy, with the Mad Dog getting whalloped by 73 LRMs, a Gauss Slug, four medium pulse lasers, and an Ultra AC/20 firing on double tap mode. It does get some points for severely crippling the Star Adder Blood Asp B by destroying the Gauss Rifle, however. And this was on the first round it was within weapons range of anything. The Blood Spirit Crossbow Prime was runner up for this medal, losing it only by virtue of taking far less fire and surviving for two more turns.

Screaming Surat - The Blood Spirit Summoner A, which turned tail and ran the second it got stuck by a NARC beacon. Unfortunately, the Summoner A got stuck on the last hex before it could flee, due to an excellent gyro hit, courtesy of the Timber Wolf H from Clan Star Adder. It promptly got annilated by a storm of indirect LRM fire from the Kraken 3.

Movie Esque Death - The second medal awarded to the Warhawk C, which died in a truly spectacular fashion. While getting torn to shreds by a massive LRM barrage-and getting armor breaches in every section except the head-the Warhawk managed to fire every weapon it had at the Summoner B, to no avail, even if its shots all hit. The Warhawk then proceeded to have the Summoner completely demolish its cockpit as well as destroy the engine and gyro, and then get displaced into a building, causing the entire six level tall structure to collapse on top of it as it fell into the two level basement. If the Warhawk's pilot had survived, I have the feeling he might have been made bondsman for the Summoner B-because he was absolutely badass. Even if this was a battle taking place in the Blood Spirit Annihilation.

Atomic Fireball - The Blood Spirit Crossbow Prime, which detonated after getting cored by the Timber Wolf H's twin ERPPCs. Two large buildings were destroyed by the fireworks display, but the Timber Wolf H was comparatively fine, despite being just a hex away and already in the yellow for armor. That is, until the Warhawk slaughtered it the next turn.

[Deadborder]

The CCAF's invasion of the Federated Suns saw the AFFS in the unexpected situation of being entirely on the defensive and, more worryingly, actually losing for once. As the Capellans tore into the former Republic worlds around Tikonov, the AFFS tried to fight back with the aid of mercenary forces. In this instance, however, the CCAF were able to win a bloody and expensive victory.

But a lot of dubious awards were handed out along the way.

The Man of the Match award goes to the CCAF Thunder, albeit posthumously. The Thunder scored the most kills of the match, knocking out two tanks and two 'Mechs pretty much all on its own before it succumbed. Even then, it took several 'Mechs and BattleArmour squads pouring fire into it for several turns before it actually went down.

The Thunder also won the Kicking the Tires award for getting three of it's kills from Kicks, in successive turns no less. It first kicked a JES I, setting off its SRM ammo. Then it kicked an immobilized Bulldog, caving in its front end. To cap it all off, it then kicked a prone Hollander III... specifically one that had Reflective armour. While the Thunder had its TSM engaged. Squish

Finally, the Thunder also won the You have one shot, make it count award. It constantly missed easy shots with its LBX-20, before getting a single hit... which went into the ammo bin of a Blackjack-O, destroying it. The next turn, the Thunder's LBX was destroyed

The Master Marksmanship award went to a lance of CCAF Padillia (Tube) artillery tanks for managing to be psychadellically ineffective even by Battletech artillery standards. Between the four of them they managed to once splash a Battleaxe and then land a direct hit on an ejected MechWarrior. They also hit a pair of CCAF Regulator IIs that were nowhere near the target hex at the time. What's even more amazing is that the Padillias actually managed to do more damage with random indirect LRM fire then anything else.

Speaking of, AFFS MechWarrior Chris So Wat won the Red Mist award for being hit dead center by an artillery shell. While in the open. And taking 40 points of damage (to MANS) at once.

The Tactical Dickery award goes to the AFFS Commander's Warhammer, which spent much of the game carefully maneuvering itself so that it could snipe off CCAF units at will while being either out of line of site or with massive Target modifiers that made it not even worth shooting. It's demise came when it managed to screw up once, putting it under the guns of a Tian-Zong, Cataphract and Shen Yi all at once. oops.

On a related note, the aforesaid trio won the No Kill Like Overkill award for their bringing down insane amounts of firepower on whatever blundered into their collective firing arc (While, of course, camping on a hill in woods because Stealth Armour). The highpoint of this was when the three of them reduced the Mercenary Commander's fresh Verfloger to rubble in a single turn.

Similarly related, the Gross Tactical Blunder award goes to a merc Argus which decided to stop in the open with a negligible TMM in front of the aforesaid trio, and thus made himself the first kill of the match. Bravo.

The Citizen Limpy award went to a CCAF Flea which blew its MASC in the second turn while serving as a Battle Armour taxi. Despite this (and the allready considerable disadvantage of being a Flea) it continued to spam LPPCs at the enemy... until a Hollander III blew its right side out with a single UAC/10 shot. Not to be deterred, it continued to shoot its only remaining ER Medium laser at whatever it came across and amazingly actually scored a kill on a Bulldog tank

Likewise, Citizen Limpy was also the victim of the Never has a man so hated a Flea award, bought about when a Mercenary Black Hawk (Standard) decided to Alpha Strike at it form across the map, and missed with every single shot. The Black Hawk decided to continue with this policy and continued to chase the Flea, massively overheating while exposing itself to easy rear shots by a CCAF Agotera

The Precision Skidding award went to a pair of CCAF Stealth Regulator IIs which managed to remain in formation and end up exactly where they were supposed to be despite failing innumerable control rolls to avoid sideslipping. In fact, the only damage they took in the entire battle was friendly fire from a stray Sniper shot.

The Nice Shooting, Tex award goes to a CCAF Griffin which managed to miss just about every shot it took in the entire battle, even when they were painfully easy. The only time it managed to hit anything significant was when it roasted a Goblin tank with its Plasma Rifle, immobilizing it. In order to preserve form, it then missed the stupidly easy follow-up kick

The Persistent Pillbox award went to a AFFS Musketeer Tank that was immobilized very early in the battle and yet, despite being out in the open and a painfully easy target, managed to live an incredibly long life before finally succumbing to random LRM damage

Finally, the Harpo Award for Participation (with a twist) goes to the Mercenary Battleaxe that managed to sit out most of the battle. Most of the time it sulked at the back taking ineffective long-range MML shots without hitting a thing. Its only moment of glory came when it was the last combat-effective Merc 'Mech on the field, having outlasted the others through simply failing to get into the fight. It's one moment of dubious glory came when it killed the allready near-dead Man of the Match winning Thunder. The jerk.

[ralgith]

Likewise, Citizen Limpy was also the victim of the Never has a man so hated a Flea award, bought about when a Mercenary Black Hawk (Standard) decided to Alpha Strike at it form across the map, and missed with every single shot. The Black Hawk decided to continue with this policy and continued to chase the Flea, massively overheating while exposing itself to easy rear shots by a CCAF Agotera

This should have been the Gotta Scratch that Itch award ;)

[Deadborder]

A feud between two nobles on the backwater world of Abbeville escalated into civil war when both sides hired mercenary support. The Loyalist and Rebel forces (but really, those are just convenient labels), with their mercenary support clashed in a scenic coastal venue outside one of the Rebel holds. The result was a victory for the Loyalist forces, one that was massively one-sided, albeit not entirely by plan as shall be seen.

More importantly, for the first time in ages, I have some dubious awards to hand out!

The Man of the Match award goes to the loyalist Merc Warhammer IIC for scoring more kills than anyone else on the field. Not only did it put down four of them, but two (an Enforcer and a Hammerhands) were the Rebel and Rebel Mercenary commanders respectively, with the latter also being the most skilled MechWarrior on the board. That the other two were a Bandersnatch and a Manticore didn’t hurt either, nor the fact that the Enforcer was undamaged before it took an ER PPC to the face

The Fear the Reaper award, however, went to the Loyalist’s greatest weapon; sheer dumb luck. Many of their kills were against fresh or lightly damaged units that took fluke hits which took them out of the battle. The result was that they had to put in a lot less effort then they should have needed in order to get to where they were. More on this to come.

The Engine Seeking Missile award went to a Loyalist Merc Pegasus hovertank for its short but bloody reign of terror. First it hit a Rebel Valkyrie with a TAC which scored two engine hits, resulting in a heat spike that crippled it and lead to its quick demise. The next turn it fired on a fresh Rebel Blade and scored a TAC on its Right Torso which, in turn, scored three Engine Hits. This took out an otherwise undamaged ‘Mech which didn’t take any other fire that turn.

The Pegasus also won the Hateful Strike award after it was immobilized in the middle of an enemy formation and thus had a huge pile of people shooting at it at once. Certain of its destruction, it opened fire on a Rebel Merc Stalker – the largest single ‘Mech on the field – and not only got a hit on it’s head, but also busted one of its hips. So while the Peg did die a horrible death, it hardly went down easy.

Speaking of, the Stalker won the Can’t Buy a Break award for a series of misfortunes that lead to its demise. Besides the aforementioned Pegasus, it managed to take two engine hits in one turn, a Flamer hit that forced it to an ammo explosion (even if it didn’t explode, but only just), losing both hips in consecutive turns as well as one shoulder. This left it overheated, prone and unable to stand, the pilot choosing to abandon his ‘Mech in the field… and then be captured by a Loyalist Merc Razorback to boot. No, don’t ask how this last part works, it just does.

The Opening Shot award went to one of the Loyalist Mercenary Sniper Artillery units, for landing the first hit of the entire battle. That shot immobilized a Rebel Hetzer as well as taking out a Battle Armour squad. In fact, in general, the Mercenary Artillery were shockingly accurate, managing to do a lot of damage to the Rebel armour and only once hitting a friendly unit.

Conversely, the Shot of the Match went to a Loyalist Merc Black Hawk (Standard). Stripped of armour and damaged, it had taken to sniping from the back of the field with it’s ER Large Lasers. One of those hit an undamaged Loyalist Archer in the head, scoring a “limb blown off” result and killing it instantly. So yeah.

The Stumbling Ineptitude award went to the Loyalist Merc Cadaver pilot (and recon lance commander) for his amazing ability to miss everything and get himself in bad situations. Denuded of armour and surrounded, he tried to make a break for it, only to get stuck in a Mud Hex straight away. This lead to him being quickly gunned down by a trio of enemy ‘Mechs.

The Self Inflicted Wounds went to a Rebel Mercenary Mangonel for killing itself while trying to stand. It fell after a failed attempt, which resulted in one of its Light Gauss Rifles going off. This then detonated the second LGR, doing enough damage to destroy the ‘Mech.

The Spam If You Want To award went to the Loyalist Merc Cataplut for taking out two units (A Sentry and a Ranger IFV ) as well as immobilizing at least one tank without ever having line of sight on any of them. This was due to some nice Semi-Guided LRM spotting, as well as just plain dumb luck on regular Indirect Fire. Had the battle gone on any longer, the Cat would have run out of LRMs. That’s how much it was spamming.

The Harpo Award for Participation as well as the Waste of Precious BV award went to the Loyalist Merc heavy tank lance. Not only did they end up getting stuck behind terrain that did not favour them at all, but the battle advanced a lot faster then expected due to all the fluke kills, leaving them well behind. In the end, all they did was blow up a few forest hexes in order to speed up their own crawling advance.

Finally, the Name of the Match award went to Merc Thanatos pilot Zaki Toto, because it was an awesome randomly generated name.

[Kojak]

I always love these. Is it just me, or is there pretty much always at least one Warhammer or Warhammer IIC in your matches?

[Deadborder]

I always love these. Is it just me, or is there pretty much always at least one Warhammer or Warhammer IIC in your matches?

RATs are crazy like that

[YingJanshi]

Hey...Deadborder! Glad to see the return of your awards. Always enjoy reading them. O0

[Deadborder]

Eager to test their mettle and prove their superiority, a Wolf Empire force landed on a Clan Protectorate world and challenged the defending Spirit Cat forces. Confident in an easy win, the Wolf Trinary, lead by an elite Ristar, were instead shocked that the technically inferior Protectorate forces dealt them a crushing defeat. The few surviving Empire warriors were able to retreat,  but not before leaving more then half their force behind.

Such a one-sided battle would, of course, result in a number of Dubious Awards

The Man of the Match award went to the Clan Protectorate Sphinx who, through ER Medium Laser Spam did more damage then anyone else in the battle. And while he only ended the battle with a single kill, he also crippled several Empire vehicles, slashed his way through a couple of Battle Armour points and took down the Empire's commander (who was also an elite Ristar to boot!). Added to that, the only critical damage the Sphinx suffered was a bung leg actuator and heat sink from a failed MASC roll.

The Career-Ending Mistake award went to the Wolf Empire Warwolf after it forgot two things while trying to maneuver for a shot. The first was that it had leg actuator damage, thus impeding its mobility. The second was that the Sphinx it was duelling with had MASC. The end result was that it wound up with the Sphinx in its rear arc. This lead to it also winning the Exploded by Science award when both of it's Improved Heavy Large Lasers were hit and blew up in the same round. Ouch

The Parking Lot award went to the Protectorate vehicle star; of its ten vehicles, five were immobilized by the time the battle was done. To add insult to injury, two of those were immobilized in the first round of fire by stray, long-range shots. The worst of which was an R10 IFV which wound up marooned a million miles from anywhere useful with three Battle Armour Points on board

The One Shot Wonder award went to the two Protectorate SM2 Artillery Vehicles who probed to be psychedelically inaccurate even by Battletech Artillery standards. In the entire battle, they only managed to hit one thing, even then it was splash from a scattered shot. On the other hand, that one thing was an Empire Battle Armour Point that they obliterated, so it wasn't a total waste

The Slowly Going Nowhere award went to a Wolf Empire Bandit (C) hovercraft. Immobilised early in the battle, it managed to not die, despite being an easy target and fired upon by multiple attackers. Added to this, it was nicely parked in the way of a major Protectorate advance, forcing them to waste time going around it

The Headbanger Harris award went to the Protectorate Wendigo for failing three "trying to stand" rolls in a single turn, shattering its reflective armour to pieces in the process. To add insult to injury, the reason why it fell in the first place was through missing a kick.

The Vulture of the Match award goes to the Wolf Empire Fenris, for scoring the most kills of any of the Empire units. That's a lot less of an achievement then it looks like when you realise that all of them were against immobilised tanks

The Ol' Yellerbelly award went to the Wolf Empire Tundra Wolf for its subborn refusal to commit to the battle. It advanced early, stopped behind everyone else and then spent much of its time jumping between cover while the rest of its Star were cut down one at a time. When it did eventually succumb, it was not due to massive damage but due to two ER Medium Lasers going through its head in the same turn

The Death Kwan-Do Death Kick of Death award goes to the Protectorate Quasimodo for its TSM-enhanced kick to an Empire Lobo. Not only did it shatter the Lobo's leg, but the transferred damage went to it's side torso structure and detonated its ATM ammo stored there.

The Getting your BV's Worth award went to the Wolf Empire Sun Cobra for losing its left torso in the first turn of fire and thus being sent straight to "forced withdrawal" mode. It only ever got two shots off. To make it worse, the loss of the torso not only cost it its arm but also cost it its targeting computer as well.

The Melted Into The Pavement award went to a Wolf Empire Elemental II point who wandered into the path of a Protectorate Phalanx D point. Already lightly damaged by stray missiles, the Elemental II point then lost four of its five members in the same turn to Medium VSPs.

The Sure Why Not award went to the Protecotrate Hunderbird LBX Point who took a distant, low chance of hit shot at a Wolf Oro tank. Their volley managed to immobilise it and set off its own LBX-20 ammo.

Finally, the Lack of Unit Cohesion award goes to the Wolf Empire force as a whole. Of its single star of 'Mechs, only one, a half-dead Sun Cobra made it off the field. Its vehicle star lost seven of their ten, while the Elemental Star managed to only lose a single point; however, one of the survivors was down to a single trooper

[Deadborder]

During the campaign to destroy the reborn Comguard on Epsilon Erandi, the RAF encountered numerous Comguard facilities, some of them entirely unexpectedly. In one instance, a RAF force literally stumbled across a Comguard training center disguised in an otherwise abandoned town. To make matters worse, a large Comguard force was already in presence. Unable to retreat, the RAF were force to stand and fight, and were eventually able to defeat the reborn Comguard force, albeit with severe losses.

All this means that there were dubious awards to hand out!

The Man of the Match award went to the RAF Doloire for the sheer damage it did. It wasn't enough that it never once missed with its AES-enhanced Pulse Lasers, even on ludicrous dice rolls, but also the fact that it got the most kills of anyone in the battle. Furthermore, all its kills were through Gauss Rifle shots to the head, giving it the Master Marksman award

The Almost Indestructible, but Not Indestructible Enough award went to the Comguard Dragoon for the staggering amount of damage it took. It's Ferro-Lamellor armour meant that it was all but shrugging off the damage from the Numerous RAF 'Mechs firing on it. And then the aforementioned Doloire took it out with a Gauss Rifle to the head.

The Shot of the Match award went to a RAF Padillia (Tube) Artillery Tank for landing an Artillery Shell perfectly on-target and, in doing such, taking out three Comguard Battle Armour squads at once.

The Thug by Name, Thug by Nature award went to the Comguard Thug for killing several immobilised RAF tanks, but nothing else. At least one of those was from kicking an already immobile Hovertank that had already lost its weapons as well and thus was harmless. Classy

The Golden BB Award went to the Comguard Kobold squad for hitting an RAF Spider at an 11+. They then TACed its Gyro, disabling it. As a bonus, it was the only thing they hit during the entire battle.

The Stephen Bacon Memorial Award for Camp Attendance went to the Comguard Uraeus after it suffered two engine hits very early in the battle and was thus forced to withdraw. It only fired a handful of shots and did little damage

The World's Most Annoying Thing award went to the RAF Griffin IIC. While it did very little damage during the battle, its use of terrain, ECM and an absurdly high defender movement modifier meant that the Comguard never had a functioning C3i network

The Staying Alive award went to a RAF Targe that had survived most of the battle despite suffering heavy damage early on. In the last ever physical attack phase of the battle, it missed a kick, fell and destroyed it's engine (and thus killed itself)

Finally, the Harpo Award for Participation went to the Comguard Gravedigger for spending the entire battle lurking at the rear of the field, taking a few begrudging long-range shots (that missed) without actually really contributing anything to the battle. On the other hand, it managed to escape almost completely unharmed

[Deadborder]

Today's battle was not really intended to be an in-world one per se; rather it was me helping beta-test a force that a friend will be using in a campaign. He wanted some help with his force (Henceforth known as "Test Force") and it's composition, as well as trying a few 'Mechs he hadn't used before to see how they would fit. In response, I ran an enemy force (Henceforth known as "OpFor") that was used to test it to the point of destruction.

In the end, Test Force did triumph after a rather bloody battle. And in the process, a lot of good data was gathered and a number of dubious awards were handed out.

The Man of the Match went to Test Force's leader in a Warhammer IIC 2. First of all, it managed to get no less then four kills during the battle, more then any other unit on the field. Secondly, one of those was a one-shot kill on an otherwise fresh 'Mech, destroying it straight out. Finally, it also got a rather gratuitous kill when a single SRM TACed the RAC ammo in the CT of an otherwise relatively fresh Shockwave.

Related to the above, the Ol' Yellerbelly award went to the OpFor Blade, which spent most of the match running, hiding and sulking on the fringe of the battlefield without contributing that much. Its behavior was bizzarely justified when it finally did emerge, only to be One-Shot Killed by the aforementioned Warhammer IIC

The Lighter Side of Self Immolation award went to the OpFor Calliope for having its inferno ammunition go off, both inflicting damage and, of course, a massive heat spike. Unfortunately, that ammo also set off the LRM ammo, resulting in more damage. Between all these events, it also killed its own pilot.

The Died, Dead and Exploded award went to a Test Force Phoenix Hawk L. Its TSEMP was hit, which set off a series of events that also destroyed the engine, set off the LRM ammo and inflicted a cockpit hit, killing the pilot.

The Many Levels of Dead award went to an OpFor Ostwar for also suffering multiple ammo explosions in the one turn, and again killing its own pilot in the process

The Wifflebat award went to the Test Force Marauder, for it's amazing ability to consistently miss with it's Pulse Lasers, even when they had ludicrously low to-hit numbers

The Chronic Failure award went to an OpFor Violator for managing to rarely hit with its MRMs. The only 'Mech it did hit was a Test Force Mongrel, and thus what little damage it did was halved due to the Reactive Armour anyway. The Violator then suffered significant damage that saw it forced to withdraw without having ever done anything more then chip a little bit of armour.

The Commitment Issues award went to an OpFor Berserker which, rather then being a melee assault 'Mech and running up to people to cleave them in half instead chose to instead spend its time sulking in the bushes, not sure of what to do

The Long Series of Miseries award went to the Test Force Verfloger. It suffered two Gyro TACs and multiple head hits in consecutive turns. In order to add to its misery, when it fell from the second gyro hit it managed to inflict a third gyro hit in the process.

The And That Was A Thing award went to an OpFor Legionnaire which managed to leave the battle only lightly damaged. One of the few hits it took was a TAC that knocked out it's RAC/5, it's only weapon

The Where's the Kaboom award went to the Test Team as a whole for multiple critical hits against empty ammo bins

Finally, the Greatest Threat to America award goes to Gyro TACs. During the course of the battle. the OpFor team landed at least four of these on the Test Team (Maybe more), including one on an otherwise unscathed 'Mech in the final turn of battle. That last one was probably done out of sheer spite.

[Deadborder]

A pirate crew attacked a Marian city, only to find that there were MHAF BattleMechs present. What was intended to be a quick smash-and-grab raid instead turned into a mess, as both forces engaged in tactics that could be best described as "running around like chickens." In the end, several losses told the Pirates that they weren't going to make off with enough plunder to make up for it, and they chose to make off. And while there weren't that many kills by either side, there were still plenty of dubious awards to hand out

The Man of the Match award went to the Marian Cronus; not only did it get the most kills of the match (Two, which was actually about as many as the rest of the MHAF force put together) but it remained in the thick of the battle throughout, doing more damage then anyone else. In addition, it got the Or That Could Happen award, as its two kills were from engine crits on fresh 'Mechs. And then added to that, it also got a "limb blown off" result on a Pirate Griffin's leg

The Ol' Yellerbelly award went to the pirate Clint. After taking a few potshots, it spent most of the battle hiding behind buildings ("Hiding in its Man-Cave" as one player put). The one time it emerged, it lost its Autocannon and decided to run off, possibly justifying its cowardice

The Wake Up Jeff award went to the Marian Gladiator which took a single stray LRM shot to the head, knocking the pilot unconscious. The 'Mech did not take any other damage that turn, and the pilot didn't take any damage before or even after that one hit.

The Oh God It Burns award went to the Pirate Toro, which suffered only a single critical hit during the battle. Sadly, that was to its Inferno ammo.

The Wifflebatting until you Don't award went to the Marian Razorback, which would consistently miss with most or all of its weapons. Hitting with one laser every second turn was about the best it could manage. And then it scored a critical hit that sawed the hip off a Pirate Griffin.

The Golden BB award went to the Marian Firestarter for scoring numerous engine TACs with its RAC/2. It did very little actual damage during the battle, but scored more crits then anyone else in the battle.

The Never try to Contribute award went to the Pirate Wasp. After spending the entire match dicking around and bouncing form cover to cover without doing much for the battle (and being almost ignored by the Marians) it finally emerged to take a shot, and was instantly destroyed.

Finally, the Citizen Limpy award went to the Marian Stinger. It had both of its side torsos gutted early in the battle, and lost one of its MMLs in the process. Despite this, it remained in the battle throughout, doing minimal damage along the way.

[Kojak]

No Warhammer IIC in this last one? That's a shame.  ;)

[Deadborder]

No Warhammer IIC in this last one? That's a shame.  ;)

Marians are too poor to afford Clantech. And, I dunno, it's not Space Roman-y enough for them or something

[Deadborder]

The opening battles of the First Succession War were fought between the Lyran Commonwealth and the Free Worlds League over the so-called "Bolan Thumb" worlds. On Kamenz, the 8th Lyran Regulars aimed to eliminate the 7th Bolan Defenders. Forces from both regiments clashed in the ruins of a recently destroyed dam complex, with the Bolan Defenders scoring a surprising and one-sided victory. Not that it would matter in the long term, mind you.

Along the way, of course, many Dubious Awards were handed out.


Both the Man of the Match and the Beamspam McMuffin award went to the Bolan Flashman for its unrelenting array of laser damage. Wherever possible it was blazing away at whatever target got in its way, doing a catastrophic amount of damage along the way. While it didn't get the most kills of the battle, it did probably do the most damage of any 'Mech on the field, including crippling two of the Lyrans.

The Use The Tech Before It Becomes Extinct award went to the Bolan Highlander for not once hitting with its Gauss Rifle. Not only would it miss easy shots, but it would also, as a way of adding insult to injury, still manage to hit with low chance Medium Laser or SRM shots.

Similarly the Ammo Hoarding award went to the Bolan Crusader, which only launched a single Streak SRM volley in the entire battle. This is doubly amusing, given that it emptied out its LRM ammo very early on with dubious, low-chance shots.

The Time For Go To Bed award went to the Lyran Champion. Early in the battle it suffered hip damage and fell over, the pilot blacking out in the process. It spent the next few rounds asleep before finally waking up and trying to stand... and failing. This time around it fell again and broke its LBX and again blacked out the pilot. Finally it woke up in the end phase of the last turn of battle.

The Sudden Onset Decapitation award went to the Lyran Stinger. On the first round of battle, it was hit by a low-chance shot from a Large Laser in the head. Because a Stinger only has four armour points there, it was instantly killed. No other shots hit that round (Especially not Gauss Rifles)

The Ms Mothrapickles Memorial Award for Damage Management goes to the Bolan Warhammer. It failed a piloting skill roll and fell down, landing on its Right Torso. That did just enough damage to result in a critical hit, which set off its SRM ammo, blowing it apart.

On topic, the Fireworks Factory award was shared by the Lyran Marauder and Hunchback. Both of them suffered Autocannon Ammo hits while only lightly damaged, resulting in both of them being destroyed.

Conversely, the Lyran Archer won the Brown Trousers award after it suffered a critical hit to its LRM ammo... on an empty bin.

The Headbanger Harris award went to the Lyran Lancelot. It was shot in the head, which caused the pilot to black out. This caused it to fall... and land on its head, killing it.

So how violent were the ammo explosions? In the end, they took down five 'Mechs of the eight that were lost in the battle overall. This includes the sole Bolan Defenders 'Mech that was lost (versus just those that were crippled or disabled) during the battle.

[Deadborder]

Been a while, huh? That’s what happens when you spend more time drawing MegaMek icons then actually playing MegaMek.

Aaaanyway, today’s battle was the test of a concept force, henceforth referred to as the “Wastes” army. They were up against a group of Generic Pirates, who quickly distinguished themselves through several traits. Unfortunately, said traits were usually exploding and catching on fire, which are not qualities one looks for in a successful pirartical career. (Although when your force includes Primitives, MilitiaMechs and Industrial MODs, this will happen.) As such, the Wastes force were able to carry the day, with the Pirates mostly ending up dead or fleeing.

Of course, there were plenty of Dubious Awards to be had.

The Man of the Match award went to the Wastes Bandersnatch for the sheer level of destruction it meted out. Not only did it get the most kills of the battle, but it almost never missed, even with rather stupidly low chance hits. Finally, to top it all off, it managed to cripple and immobilise several tanks and ‘Mech through LBX cluster hits.

The I Like To Camp award went to the Wastes Catapult, which spent most of the battle perched on top of the highest point of the map, liberally chucking LRMs at whatever came within line of sight. Ironically, it only made a single kill during the battle, which was a pirate Galleon killed with a kick after it wandered a bit too close.

Conversely, the Galleon took the Raised Middle Finger award for hitting the Catapult once, with a single Machine Gun hit to the head. Yeah, it didn’t affect the battle as a whole, but it still did sting a bit.

The I Am The God Of Hellfire award went to the pirate Firestarter for spending the entire battle running around with its Flamers on Heat mode, while also spraying Infernos at whatever caught its attention. And then it stumbled across some of the pirate Infantry, which got really, really ugly. This plan nearly was its undoing when a pirate Hercules decided that it really didn’t like its incendiary ways, and promptly blew half of it away.

This then lead to the Yakkity Saks award as the half-dead Firestarter decided to run away from the Hercules at speed, leading it and a Quasit halfway across the map and thus distracting them from doing anything actually useful.

The Impotent Murder God award went to the Wastes Heavy Hover APC. After slaughtering its way through two platoons of enemy infantry with its paired MGs, it then turned on a third. However, it then missed three out of four shots, and then only hit with enough damage on the enemy platoon (Which was in the open) to half-kill them. In return, they immobilised it and moved out of its firing arc, leaving it completely helpless and useless.

The Fredrick the Limping Baboon award went to the pirate Griffin which spent the start of every single movement phase picking itself up from being knocked down the previous turn. Possibly the most humiliating came when it passed a twenty point damage roll and two kick rolls in the same turn, but then fell over from its own missed kick. From the time the first shots were fired to the end of the battle, it never left that hex.

The Bonk on the Head award went to the dread pirate leader Zelda Papadopolus (Love those random names) and her Koschei; in the first turn of combat, they took a head hit from a single SRM and blacked out. This left them prone and immobile in front of the team of a Warhammer, Bandersnatch and Hunchback. You can probably guess what happened next.

On a related note, Zelda also took the Not My Captain award for not only running blindly into battle, but being the first of her team to die due to aforesaid Bonk on the Head.

At the same time, the Lights With One Match award went to the Pirate Wasp for only taking a single hit… which was a PPC straight to its SRM ammo that blew it apart in one go.

The Crispy Critter award went to the pirate Crosscut, after it was destroyed by a hit to its Vehicle Flamer ammo. Being an Industrial Mod, it didn’t have an ejection seat.

The Wifflebat award went to the wastes Hunchback, which spent most of the battle missing with its AC/20. And then it hit the lightly damaged Hercules once, killing it. Funny the way these things work out.

The Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers award went to the Wastes Plainsman hovertank for passing a series of very tough control rolls to avoid skidding… and then blowing an easy one, ploughing into a building and immobilising itself.

Finally, the World’s Most Annoying Thing (that isn’t a Firestarter) award went to the wastes LTV-4 Hovertank. While it didn’t actually kill anything, it proved to be unerringly accurate with its PPC, even when tearing around the map at high speed. The highpoint of its career came when it took a snap-shot at a passing pirate Gladius, hitting a 10+ roll and immobilising it.

[YingJanshi]

Hey...I've missed these. :D
Sounds like it was a fun game!

[trtw]

this may provoke me to go through and read all of these again......... for about the tenth time.

Many thanks to Deadborder and his contributions to the MegaMek scene