Yeah, I generally allow myself to deploy one IS fighter lance (that's I think a max of two fighters per unit) per unit commander strategy level. That lance can then reinforce one battle per week and do not count in any way, shape or form towards victory conditions. The fighters deploy with the standard reinforcement delay (8 - local commander strategy or something like that).
The fact that you can lose the fighters so easily is enough of a disincentive in my opinion, without further artificial limitations on their deployment. Also, bombs are frigging expensive (a single HE bomb is 5k, which is comparable to the cost of an LRM/20 salvo, and don't even get me started on the other bombs).
Aircraft definitely are fragile. I've had pretty good success with the Lucifer R20. It a) never overheats and b) it can crash at low velocities and not be turned into scrap, due to the fact that it's basically all armor. But hey, it can still drop bombs just fine. The basic rule of thumb I use is PSR = crashed aircraft, so I tend to avoid those like the plague (manuevers? How about no. Overthrust? No thanks. Drop more than two altitudes? Pass.)
I'm actually working on allowing Princess to properly use aero units on ground maps. It's a non-trivial problem to solve, which is great because I love working on AI, but I wouldn't expect it coming out any time soon. Still, it's something I like to look forward to as my aero jocks strafe hapless enemy vehicles for the eightieth time.