A clash between the Lyrans with Mercenary allies and the Wolf Empire turned ugly as a feud between the two Wolf commanders turned into a game of one-upamnship on the battlefield. Star Captain Terry Radick and his Elitist Jerkarse Star sought to prove their superiority over Star Commander Gateau Wolf and his Pudding Crusaders, and both decided the best way to prove it was through seeing which could kill more of the enemy.
Of course, to add insult to injury, Terry Radick led his star from a Warwolf that had previously been piloted by Pudding Wolf, one of the Pudding Crusaders. Dirk thought he deserved the 'Mech more, and Pudding sought to prove otherwise. Which one of them would prove to be the better?
The answer was actually "neither". And while the Lyrans and Mercenaries were soundly beaten, losing most of their force while only killing a single Wolf 'Mech (a crippled Lobo), the actual outcome of the feud was a surprise.
The Man Of The Match award went to Kalgan (Ward), piloting a Mad Cat, for killing more enemies then anyone else (or, for that matter, the rest of his star put together) for a total of four kills (Scourge, Ursa, Gauntlet and Bandit Mk II) or a third of all those claimed by the Wolves in the entire battle. That one of them was hillarous was only a bonus.
The Alleged Ristar award went to Terry Radrick who rarely shot at anything and even then rarely hit when he did. In the entire game, he hit once with his Warwolf's gauss rifle. And that was to kill a single Battle Armour trooper. In the last turn. Real hero there. On the upside, he never got hit once, so that has to count for something.
The Opening Gambit award went to Gateau Wolf in the Blood Reaper for his first turn shot. he sent a pair of ER ATMs at a JES III with 11+ to hit... and not only hit with both, but immobilised and turret-locked it.
The Failure to Communicate award went to the three-man team of a Lyran Scourge and a mercenary Ursa and Predator Tank Destroyer. All three of them advanced as a group, until contact was made with the Wolf forces. The Scourge advanced... while both the Predator and the Ursa backed off. The result was the Scourge wound up facing off with an entire star on its own, and went from "minty fresh" to "dead" in one turn
The Lucky To Be Alive award goes to Don Hossbucket, the pilot of the aforesaid Scourge. After ejecting, he wound up in the middle of the thickest fighting, and spent the rest of the game scurrying from hex to hex while managing to avoid capture or death.
The Guardiana Award for Traffic Safety goes to Fruit Salad Wolf in the Rabid Coyote 2 for constantly failing skidding checks and spending more time sliding then running. He almost managed to ram the Mad Cat that way
The Hey, You're On Fire award goes to the Lyran Warhammer for being hit with a full flight of fifteen (!) inferno missiles from a Rabid point. Amazingly enough, he didn't explode but, at the same time, he certainty didn't enjoy it. Of course, that also left him in a prime position to be swarmed the next turn.
The Perfect Turnaround award goes to the Empire Mad Cat. After spending several turns dicking around and avoiding anything that might resemble a fight, the mercenary Ursa saw a chance and ran up behind the somewhat overheated Mad Cat. In response, the 'Cat flipped its arms... and put an ER PPC through the Ursa's head.
The Legbreaker award went to the Lobo and the Gauntlet for both hitting each other with kicks in the same turn and both taking out the other's right leg.
The This Tank cost me a fortune, I don't want to get a scratch on it award goes to the mercenary Manticore II for never once getting near the battle. It fired a few desultory shots but never really contributed to anything before dying an ignoble death to an Elemental Point.
The Piccasso of Passive-Aggressive Karate award goes to Stink Dogface in the Barghest. Badly damaged and with the Warwolf, Blood Reaper and Tundra Wolf bearing down on him, he lateral shifted into a water hex, breached one leg and fell prone. Of course, this meant that he was now underwater and thus out of line of sight.