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Author Topic: Afriit - Phoenix Rebuild Project  (Read 411 times)

BarcidOath

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Afriit - Phoenix Rebuild Project
« on: 09 April 2021, 10:28:19 »
Hail and well met comrades! I am Barcid, a newcomer to this delightful universe and game, and would like some feedback on one of my first mech designs. I've really enjoyed the design elements of the game and have tinkered with quite a few, but don't really have enough games under my belt to say how well they'd hold up. Your critique is greatly appreciated.

PX-5A "Afriit"

Mass: 50 tons
Tech Base: Inner Sphere
Chassis Config: Biped
Era: Succession Wars
Production Year: 2985
Cost: 4,260,500 C-Bills
Battle Value: 945

Equipment                               Mass
Internal Structure: Standard       5.0
Engine:                    250          12.5
        Type:             Fusion
        Walking MP:       5
        Running MP:      8
        Jumping MP:      5
Heatsinks:               14[14]        4.0
Gyro:                    Standard       3.0
Cockpit                                      3.0
Armor Factor            144            9.0
   Head                      8
   Center Torso/Rear   20/8
   L/R Torso /Rear      16/6
   L/R Arms/Legs       16/16

Weapons and Ammo        Location
Large Laser                         RA
Medium Laser                      LA
Machine Gun                       LA
SRM 6                                 LT
Ammo (MG) 100                  LT
Ammo (SRM 6) 15               LT
     

In the wake of O'Reilly's success in the Alphard system the western Periphery would find itself a hotspot of Lostech prospectors for several decades. One such expedition lead by FWL antiquarian John Pentecost lucked out, discovering an old RWR industrial site in an unnamed system one jump from Yidtall in the old Erdvynn Province. While much of the infrastructure was trashed, several production lines survived, buried deep beneath the surface or warded by the planet's oceans. Including engine, chassis, and jumpjet lines for a long extinct mech... the Phoenix.

While not as ambitious as the first Caesar of the Marians, Pentecost was not without dreams of his own. Quietly seeking out investors and technical experts in both Lyran and Marik space, he prepared to resume production. This was stymied by the complete loss of the local PPC factory and the difficulty in procuring more from the Inner Sphere. Pentecost thought a simple replacement with an AC5 would suffice, per other marks of Phoenix, but his hired designers had different ideas. No engineer has ever met a device he couldn't improve, and the chance to tinker with a production Battlemech was a dream come true for many.

Replacing the PPC with a Large Laser, the SRMs were also simplified and upgraded to a 6 tube model, greatly increasing firepower without additional heat. A ton of ammo for the SRMs was pulled, leaving the design more dependent on ammo resupply, but the saved space was put into additional short ranged capability. A Medium Laser was added to the ventral aspect of the left arm and a Machine Gun for anti infantry work placed on the dorsal aspect. The half ton of MG ammo went into the left torso, the feed mechanisms for which delayed the design's role out. One heatsink was added to the existing allotment, helping manage the machine's warmer alpha strikes.

What was a long ranged harasser was now a cavalry striker, nearly matching the WVR-6M in short ranged firepower with better heat management and anti infantry capability. The redesign and bringing factories online took some time, the first new Phoenix only strolling out of the production facility in 2985. A second modified design came out five years later, replacing the Medium Laser, Machine Gun, and SRMs with a LRM 15 and two tons of ammo. The design also had to sacrifice three heatsinks, but the lesser heat demands of its weapons made the loss acceptable. A fire support platform that could keep up with cavalry mechs, the 'Marid' compared unfavorably to the Griffin, and so saw much less demand.

Anyway, what do y'all think? What did I do right, what did I do wrong?

S.gage

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Re: Afriit - Phoenix Rebuild Project
« Reply #1 on: 05 May 2021, 09:16:14 »
Your medium ‘Mech has a classic 3025-feel to it, and yet it also gives us something new. Nice mix of weapons, (+) for the MG (which is only on a few 3025 medium brawlers/strikers, P Hawk being one of a few exceptions). Though a finer point, the thinner leg armor reminds me of many, many BattleMechs from the 80s.

The fluff placing production on a forgotten RWR world works, though I would have it start in the early 3000s. Setting this in the late 30th century, I feel like the story would be slightly different, like finding a stockpile of old parts and hand-building a couple BattleMechs every year.

All together, good job!

S.gage
"WHO PUT 6 ARMOR ON THE RIFLEMAN'S HEAD?!?" - Peter S., while marking damage from a PPC, 1994.
"Ich bin Jadefalke!!!! Ich bin MechKrieger!!!!" - German students on their field trip to Leipzig, 1998.
Custom Early Clan Refit BattleMechs, Custom Novel Golden Century BattleMechs, Custom Early Clan Refit Combat Vehicles, Custom First Generation OmniMechs.

BarcidOath

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Re: Afriit - Phoenix Rebuild Project
« Reply #2 on: 07 May 2021, 12:56:58 »
Your medium ‘Mech has a classic 3025-feel to it, and yet it also gives us something new. Nice mix of weapons, (+) for the MG (which is only on a few 3025 medium brawlers/strikers, P Hawk being one of a few exceptions). Though a finer point, the thinner leg armor reminds me of many, many BattleMechs from the 80s.

The fluff placing production on a forgotten RWR world works, though I would have it start in the early 3000s. Setting this in the late 30th century, I feel like the story would be slightly different, like finding a stockpile of old parts and hand-building a couple BattleMechs every year.

All together, good job!

S.gage

Thank you for your response sir! I really appreciate the critique. Armor placement on designs is one of the things I'm still a bit fuzzy on, particularly the ratio of leg armor to other locations. I've seen designs where (like mine) the leg armor is identical to that of arms/side torsos, and others where it is better protected than the central torso! What's a good rule of thumb there? Is there a good rule?

As to background, the mass army the RWR has at the outset of the Amaris Coup has always bugged me, particularly given the very few production centers we're told about in canon. While SLDF caches are a mainstay of fanfiction (and even canon!), by rights there ought to be more RWR caches and production centers to be discovered and put back into use. That said, I do like the idea of mechs put together from spares. Perhaps we'll have Pentecost discover a RWR transshipment center, stocked with spares for various mechs and vehicles, slowly piecing together extinct designs like jigsaw puzzles in the ruins of a better age. Yes, that has a lot more Lostech feel to it, the forgotten cog of a once grand military-industrial complex turned into an Ikea workshop, turning out hand built mechs as parts allow

S.gage

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Re: Afriit - Phoenix Rebuild Project
« Reply #3 on: 08 May 2021, 23:51:10 »
Thank you for your response sir! I really appreciate the critique. Armor placement on designs is one of the things I'm still a bit fuzzy on, particularly the ratio of leg armor to other locations. I've seen designs where (like mine) the leg armor is identical to that of arms/side torsos, and others where it is better protected than the central torso! What's a good rule of thumb there? Is there a good rule?

As to background, the mass army the RWR has at the outset of the Amaris Coup has always bugged me, particularly given the very few production centers we're told about in canon. While SLDF caches are a mainstay of fanfiction (and even canon!), by rights there ought to be more RWR caches and production centers to be discovered and put back into use. That said, I do like the idea of mechs put together from spares. Perhaps we'll have Pentecost discover a RWR transshipment center, stocked with spares for various mechs and vehicles, slowly piecing together extinct designs like jigsaw puzzles in the ruins of a better age. Yes, that has a lot more Lostech feel to it, the forgotten cog of a once grand military-industrial complex turned into an Ikea workshop, turning out hand built mechs as parts allow

Absolutely. Secret production centers found in the periphery are a fine idea, with trade and workforce being the main hurdles. My critique is about timing (I want the Merlin to come first because of canon). In fact, being in the periphery helped the Merlin seemingly appear out of nowhere (probably because Comstar was caught unawares and could not make an accident “happen”).

There really is no set ratio for armor distribution, it is really up to you. That said, many of the IntroTech designs from 3025 have a lower percentage of max armor on the legs than on the arms. I have read speculation this reflects changes to hit location tables from before I started playing in 3rd ed (but again, idk). Whatever the reason, your design fits this pattern and feels characterful.
"WHO PUT 6 ARMOR ON THE RIFLEMAN'S HEAD?!?" - Peter S., while marking damage from a PPC, 1994.
"Ich bin Jadefalke!!!! Ich bin MechKrieger!!!!" - German students on their field trip to Leipzig, 1998.
Custom Early Clan Refit BattleMechs, Custom Novel Golden Century BattleMechs, Custom Early Clan Refit Combat Vehicles, Custom First Generation OmniMechs.

 

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