Dear Mr. Cannonshop. A letter from your fav fanfic character.

[ckosacranoid]

I am really sorry Cannonshop for writing this but this idea would not for the life of me go away. With how much you put out fics I thought I would share an idea of breaking the fourth wall to give someone a chance to vent at you. I do hope you take it in the fun that I am intending this with.
__________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Mr. Cannonshop,
  MY name is Miss Ngo. You should know me very well with how much you seem to really hate me for some reason. I am not sure what I have done to make it so that you seem to hate me so much and go out of your way to wreak my life in so many ways.
  Did I sleep with your wife? Hurt your kids? Kill your dog? Wreak your truck? Burn your house down? Turn you down at the bar for going home with you? Just what is it that drives you to wreak my life?
 You always seem to send me to drug rehab in every story just about. Then you kill my father, after that, you kill my eldest brother and make the other one almost every time become a damn Jade Turkey. Then it's causing my mother to shoot me in the shower every damn time. Then we get into putting in taking enough drugs to cause a Whale to OD on them because you give that damn disease that I will die screaming in pain before I am 40 years old.
After that, I always end up having to shoot the damn idiot you put in charge of running my planet and clean up the mess somehow. Now and then I get help from my elder brother's girlfriend. Most of the time I do not get any help. I then spend a few years getting the Coast Guard cleaned up and working right with some damn good firepower. I will give you that those Cutters you keep giving them are nice to have.
Sometimes I get to have kids somehow, some of them die before they are born, some I get to raise somewhat and other times you turn me into my parents for raising them and they raise themselves.
Do you know the thing that makes me mad the most? Half the time I do not even get to have a damn sex life and die a virgin you jerk. When I do I end up married to a bloody Clanner of all things. I have gotten to sleep with Jamie Wolf once there is something different at least. Then you killed me a few months later.
  When you do give a cure I am up dying somehow to someone killing me or killing myself because something happens. Can I not have a storyline that gives me something fun to look forward to and not be your dark side play toy for once

If you can not come up with something else I am going on strike and getting one of the forum writers to give me a story.
I would also Signel to write me as a mech warrior for something fun for once and see if could use that Clint he loves called Rose at all?

 I could ask Drac for something different?

I would ask Gio...but by the time he gets around to finishing his current Transformers story and starting anything else my great-grandkids would be dead. Then again he is the only person keeping the Cali Neb setup going with contact it seems.

I have not seen Armirs anywhere in a while to have written anything.

 I know Hotspot has not done anything in years...sigh.

I would not even ask Herb or his cats to write anything.....we would all get nuked and glow in the dark...sigh.

I would try that Dreamland writer but he all ready stated I could not ask Kat or Kali out on a date dang it.

I know there are many others that could do something and I am willing to work for anyone else at this point to get a good story that does not get me killed or a drug user could I please have a sex life is it too much to ask about? Any chance to get someone to get a date with the Black Widow herself by any chance? I mean she is pretty damn hot for an older lady still.

So in closing is there any chance for something fun instead of the normal stuff we keep reusing? I know there was something in a short thought that you gave me the magic of some type I can not recall just what happened after that. Do not make me take my world and go to the Cali Neb and have our hideout with the transformers or even the empire or even give the magic users a try.

Not with any love at all.
Miss Ngo.

[DOC_Agren]

 

[Cannonshop]

I hesitated to comment, but that DID make me laugh out loud, Ck.

[ThePW]

I want a story to cause the mods to have heart burn: a MACROSS themed Ngoverse story...

[HABeas2]

I would not even ask Herb or his cats to write anything.....we would all get nuked and glow in the dark...sigh.

HEY!   

- Herb

[RangerKarl]

I want a story to cause the mods to have heart burn: a MACROSS themed Ngoverse story...

Don't know any songwriters on these forums...

[Cannonshop]

HEY!   

- Herb

Relax, Herb, he's more calling out me on repetitive themes than on you for...Herb Things. 

[BATTLEMASTER]

I heard that the Sol System in the Dark Age that Liam's Ghost is working on is fine at this time of year...  Maybe Miss Ngo needs a vacation 

Is she related to Mr. Bill by any chance?

[HABeas2]

Relax, Herb, he's more calling out me on repetitive themes than on you for...Herb Things.

Oh, no worries. If anything, it helped me remember the term "One Trick Pony," which was helpful for this new game project I've been tinkering with on the side here...

- Herb

[mikecj]

 

Thanks!

[Cannonshop]

Oh, no worries. If anything, it helped me remember the term "One Trick Pony," which was helpful for this new game project I've been tinkering with on the side here...

- Herb

pretty much. 

[Luciora]

Could be a Macbeth theme instead? Or is it already?  (Old legend about how the series got its name)

I want a story to cause the mods to have heart burn: a MACROSS themed Ngoverse story...

[Cannonshop]

Could be a Macbeth theme instead? Or is it already?  (Old legend about how the series got its name)

Macross is a giant-robot-anime-musical.  The themes are nowhere NEAR MacBeth.

[monbvol]

I'd hate to think what some of my characters would say to me.

[AlphaMirage]

My Katherine made her bed. She has nothing to complain about to me, actually things out reasonable well all things considered

[Cannonshop]

I'd hate to think what some of my characters would say to me.

we write adventure fiction. 

seriously, that's what the whole setting is.

'Adventure' is best defined as 'someone having a truly shitty time, far, far, far, away from the reader.'

Now, I'll admit, I lay the personal tragedies, discomfort, uncomfortable outcomes, failures, risk of death, certainty of death, certainty of incredible discomfortable death, dirty politics, and rampant bloodshed on pretty thickly.

I suspect that's why I have an audience.  People LOVE seeing someone else having a worse time than they are, and I often wonder if I'm making it too easy.

Because if it's easy, it's not heroic, it's also not an adventure.

anyone who writes? should be kind of avoidant at the idea of running into their protagonist in real life (or some semblance thereof) because as a writer, you're the one making their lives hell for shits and giggles.

[monbvol]

we write adventure fiction. 

seriously, that's what the whole setting is.

'Adventure' is best defined as 'someone having a truly shitty time, far, far, far, away from the reader.'

Now, I'll admit, I lay the personal tragedies, discomfort, uncomfortable outcomes, failures, risk of death, certainty of death, certainty of incredible discomfortable death, dirty politics, and rampant bloodshed on pretty thickly.

I suspect that's why I have an audience.  People LOVE seeing someone else having a worse time than they are, and I often wonder if I'm making it too easy.

Because if it's easy, it's not heroic, it's also not an adventure.

anyone who writes? should be kind of avoidant at the idea of running into their protagonist in real life (or some semblance thereof) because as a writer, you're the one making their lives hell for shits and giggles.

Hmmm....

That could be why I'm not terribly popular.  When it comes down to it I've only really been rather cruel to one, maybe two characters.  The rest are a bit arguable for how cruel I really was to them.

[mikecj]

And in other news, an unidentified short woman of Asian descent was seen to use her cane to brutally beat a man before escaping in the company of a badly scarred woman and a large man. 

[Cannonshop]

And in other news, an unidentified short woman of Asian descent was seen to use her cane to brutally beat a man before escaping in the company of a badly scarred woman and a large man.

that would only be the first wave of them.

I admit, I do keep revisiting the basics with Liz.  a large part of that, is refining the story down, or trying to correct mistakes, or just seeing if things can be different.

but she's far from the only one I've done horrid things to.  The superhero-crossovers are a good example of that, though with some slightly different ways of screwing with the characters, and Lisa could take me out with one punch, while Phoebe can do it in some truly horrific ways without ever being seen directly.

Then, there's the supernatural stuff that doesn't include the Ngos.

and that's not even looking at the shit I pulled in other fan-fictions. Over on the STO boards, I've got a story that climaxes with putting a man into a situation where he will be burning to death, conscious, and looping to prevent his soul from leaving, and he did it to stop an extradimensional invasion by a multiversal cthulhu entity with the power of a god.

Ngoc Trung will be burning after the heat death of his home universe, and he can't be rescued without unleashing something that scares the shit out of Q.

so, there's someone else who's going to be suffering a lot-and his is especially bad, because he is leaving a pregnant wife behind, and doesn't even get the hope of seeing her in the afterlife-because he's going to be burning eternally, while still alive, and conscious of the experience (including the resets).

just to put things into a cosmic perspective, in the story (co-written by a guy who has since passed on),  is very long, and needs a lot of editing work after a couple of forum migrations.  Ngoc's story began with being a footsoldier in a revolution, middled in with an archaeolgical adventure, and ended in a way where he doesn't get to see the happy ending, only eternal torment-and the way I wrote it, he understood that was what had to happen and accepted it.

Probably my only successful creation of a 'true hero' in the archetypical style-the man's accepted the bitterest cup imaginable for a child he will never see.

I haven't (yet) done anything comparable to Liz.

[Daryk]

The commentary is even better than the OP... 

[BATTLEMASTER]

Now I want to see a fanfic where the characters in this forum revolt.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words may come back to kill me in my sleep 

Gosh I'm glad I'm not creative enough to write stuff - I just let stories write themselves.  Good luck guys!   

[ckosacranoid]

I am glad you got a laugh cannonshop. Though you do have to tell her just why you have hated the young lady so much though.

As for herb.....during the jihad.....It seemed your answer to what needs to happen to something was, when in dought...use a nuke first and then figure out the storyline it seemed.
It was when some one asked what happened to several of the fave mercy units it came back at looking where the where and it was oops. They got nuked or other wise wiped out like the black thorns...couch..couch.

As for your comment battlemaster, during the late 90s and early 2000s the where many anime writers that did fics of this characters showing up on their doorstep with them telling the writer about their price of mind or getting revenge against the writer. I would have to do some digging though my saved stuff to find a few if you want to them.

As for monbal....I can not recall some of your work off hand so I can not say. I d ought you tend to be as cruel to one person as cannonshop does ever 6 months.

Cannonshop, I am doing this just to give you hard time and maybe get you try something different for lizzy. I mean she really is so bored of the same thing every 6 months. I know you love using her and the loonies. But how about something super different for a storyline for once....please.

[monbvol]

To be fair I'm not very prolific.

For my works and who I'd say I was the most absolutely cruel to I'd have to nominate Emi Okamura from A Path to Madness.  Not one of my better works but it has a certain charm to it.

The other one that has a good claim for me being most cruel to is a toss up between Damien Moore and Theresa from Secrets that Bind.  As much as I write as the ideas come to me I do tend to have something resembling an overall theme going in but this one, well I'd call it a bit of a mess to be honest but again I kind of liked the developing relationship between Damian and Theresa.

I got a bunch of others but like I said it's debatable just how cruel I was to any of the others.

[Daryk]

Cannonshop's current project (Liz as an orc Warlord) is pretty different for her, and I like it! 

[HABeas2]

As for herb.....during the jihad.....It seemed your answer to what needs to happen to something was, when in dought...use a nuke first and then figure out the storyline it seemed.
It was when some one asked what happened to several of the fave mercy units it came back at looking where the where and it was oops. They got nuked or other wise wiped out like the black thorns...couch..couch.

Well, to be fair, we had the challenge of making a faction outnumbered 10-to-1 last for a decade against the combined might of the whole Inner Sphere. The nuclear genie was gonna have to come out. But we did script the whole thing, in detail, in a very lengthy timeline chock full o' stuff. Not seemingly caring about who or what was on the planet when the bombs fell was kind of the whole point to such indiscriminate warfare. The Black Thorns' fate was just exemplary.

Still, I get it. I do love me some WMDs. Over half of the fiction attributed to me on Sarna include scenes of WMD use, and I am the one who wrote the latest (and greatest) official rules for nukes and bio-chem weapons. My rep is well earned, and Ms. Ngo is legitimately wise to avoid having me for her writer.

Though I must say--in defense of all writers--it's kind of our job to put our favorite characters through the wringer as often as possible. If our characters go through the entire story and have an easy time of it, odds are good that the story's crap. Or it's Looney Toons. 

- Herb

[Cannonshop]

Well, to be fair, we had the challenge of making a faction outnumbered 10-to-1 last for a decade against the combined might of the whole Inner Sphere. The nuclear genie was gonna have to come out. But we did script the whole thing, in detail, in a very lengthy timeline chock full o' stuff. Not seemingly caring about who or what was on the planet when the bombs fell was kind of the whole point to such indiscriminate warfare. The Black Thorns' fate was just exemplary.

Still, I get it. I do love me some WMDs. Over half of the fiction attributed to me on Sarna include scenes of WMD use, and I am the one who wrote the latest (and greatest) official rules for nukes and bio-chem weapons. My rep is well earned, and Ms. Ngo is legitimately wise to avoid having me for her writer.

Though I must say--in defense of all writers--it's kind of our job to put our favorite characters through the wringer as often as possible. If our characters go through the entire story and have an easy time of it, odds are good that the story's crap. Or it's Looney Toons. 

- Herb

I dunno, Herb, you might find angles I can't see.   Given, say, the same basic starting points, you might come up with an entirely different story, and ditto if you worked backward from a given end-state to show how it got there.

[Cannonshop]

Cannonshop's current project (Liz as an orc Warlord) is pretty different for her, and I like it! 

I have to admit, I enjoyed the first story I wrote with her as an Orc better-doing the underlaiment and world-building felt pretty good, tossing in the 'not quite our history' history and 'sourcebook' type materials was fun to do, even if I found some contradictions that I'd need to resolve if this were professional work for pay.

Thus proving, if you want to get professional work, find or hire an editor and listen to them.  *(tipping hat to Herb).

[HABeas2]

I dunno, Herb, you might find angles I can't see.   Given, say, the same basic starting points, you might come up with an entirely different story, and ditto if you worked backward from a given end-state to show how it got there.

Maybe, but these are your stories, not mine.

- Herb

[Cannonshop]

Maybe, but these are your stories, not mine.

- Herb

fair point.  now I'm almost wanting to see you do it on a dare.  I, unfortunately, cannot pay you to do such a thing. (*I don't own anything in the Battletech universe, nor claim to.)

I mean, what would you do with this one:
https://bg.battletech.com/forums/fan-fiction/repostretitled-the-horde-returns-orcs-in-the-lyran-commonwealth/msg1749063/#msg1749063?

(or at least, the pieces of it)

I know there are things I OUGHT to have done with it...

[Starfox5]

Hmmm....

That could be why I'm not terribly popular.  When it comes down to it I've only really been rather cruel to one, maybe two characters.  The rest are a bit arguable for how cruel I really was to them.

Not really. Darkness-Induced Audience Apathy is a thing. I read the werewolf Ngo story, and the ending thoroughly turned me off. If I want to read about tragedies, I check a news site. In my fiction, I want happy endings. Not everyone lives, and they don't get everything they want, but I like to have my protagonists ending up in a better place than they were at the beginning of the story. Hell, my first Battletech story was planned to end with a (not so, because Clanner) heroic last stand, but as I wrote, the characters developed in a way that made that ending OOC, so the ending changed.

Yeah, some people love to see a character suffer - but many only to a point. When a character keeps suffering no matter what they do, some readers stop being invested in the character. Why should I care about a character if they can't really achieve anything and will die anyway? I don't want to read about a character being in constant pain, not finding love, not finding peace... it turns me off. Others will eat that up.

Just don't make the mistake and assume that you can use suffering as a balance tool. It doesn't work. If you have a god-like sorcerer in a story, he isn't going to be any less godlike just because he's constantly coughing blood and in pain. As long as he still can cast what he needs, that's just window dressing. And if he can't cast what he needs because of his sickness, hey - why not limit his power from the start?