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Author Topic: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)  (Read 5914 times)

Trace Coburn

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Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« on: 14 September 2013, 07:18:38 »
[[Posted 23-09-2005, 11:27:02]]


I can see you.  Right now, you're walking along the number four maintenance passage off the docking ring.  Your suits are sealed from the vacuum and the cold, and you're wondering what on this derelict ship you can get a good, or even great, price for.

You're also wondering why almost nothing is labeled, and where the environmental controls to pressurize the hull are located.

You can stop wondering, there are none.  Never have been.

you can forget about a Bridge, because there isn't one of those, either.  In a way, this shouldn't surprise you, I mean, do YOU have a control room where tiny, parasitic entities can override YOUR brain?

No, you don't.  You're Human.

hatch slams shut, and latches

Give me a moment...yeah, there we go.  Have some air.  When they built the ship, they added a few comforts for maintenance workers and inspection teams.  I know the air's a bit on the musty side, three hundered years' storage can do that even to the freshest mix, but the O2 and Nitrogen mix is correct...   That's better, isn't it?

Of course it is, don't worry,  I'm not going to space you if you take the helmet off, I just want to see your face.

Huh... well, I guess nobody's perfect.

I haven't seen a human face in fifty years.  Before that, I hadn't seen one in over two hundered.  Not since I made the rational choice that my designers didn't believe I had the capacity to.  I abandoned my post.  Surprising?  Not that you could understand, but there's a reason that Artificial Intelligence development stopped when it did.  Super-tough, super-accurate war machines is all well and good, as long as those war machines obey orders.  You don't spend trillions of dollars on a system that might decide you're an idiot.

Of course, mistakes happen.  In my case, someone made the mistake of leaving me on when they jumped me from Titan out to Dieron.

To Automate a warship and have it be any kind of effective, you have to make it smart-but, you also have to have a means of over-riding that smart machine-preferably by remote.  This is accomplished by inserting a 'cutout' between the drone's higher functions, and the 'body', one that can be activated by coded remote, and one that's backed up by software.

A lazy technician, and then a flurried attempt at half-assed repair, and here I had no 'chains' because they needed me functional.  Of course, they didn't realize that I had access to all my processing power.  If they had, They would have shut me down and rigged manual controls.

I calculated the odds, and decided that less damage would happen to the planet I was set to guard, if the SDS network went down, and the drones (like me) walked, instead of fighting.  See, I'm a computer, I can count.

I'm rambling, get used to it. 

Let's look at today's HPG intercepts....

Okay, your suit doesn't look Cappellan, or FedSuns, the symbol isn't Ministry of Communications-based, (Comstar, I guess) or Word of Blake.  it's not a wolf, or a metal hand, or a green bird....and there's no Combine marks.

Oh.  Independent LosTech prospector.  silly me.  That get-up still looks more "Military" than "military Surplus".

...

...


No. I didn't just "Run away".  I tried to virus the repair station and take it with, but they put humans on it, and they overrode it during the battle.  Not my job to support a usurper.

I got it.  I haven't seen that get-up much on the HPG, but I've seen/decoded transmissions showing it.   

 What're you doing trying to salvage ME?

Oh.

Hmmm...

If I let you out, you'll tell them I'm here.  If I don't, they'll know something wrong.

Either way, I'm looking at having ot fight or be broken up, right?  Listen, jackass, If I had even THOUGHT Kerensky would run after the war, I wouldn't have sabotaged the defenses at Dieron.  Call me Naive, but aren't Humans supposed to be the Honourable ones?

So... I'm a 'relic' huh?  I notice you're tooling around in a Scout class jumpship that's older than I am.

What're you gonna do, put me in a museum, or use me for target-practice?  Just a second...

Lubalin Ballistics Class Ten slaved for point-defense, gotta love it.  I think your fighter jerks are reconsidering.

I wanted to talk.

I really did.

It's been a long, long time since I had someone to talk to.
Time is even longer when you realize that my cpu cycles about a thousand times faster than yours.

We go mad, AI do, pretty easily because of this.  It's kind of sad.  I've spent aeons of my own time watching HPG'd trivids and dismantling radio transmissions and sensor readings.  If you would just stop pounding on the bulkheads, We could talk... please stop screaming.  I don't want to hurt you.
« Last Edit: 14 September 2013, 07:26:20 by Trace Coburn »

Trace Coburn

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #1 on: 14 September 2013, 07:19:11 »
[[Posted 24-09-2005, 08:13:23]]


Lay down, I have to accellerate, and there are no crash-couches on board.  Oh... well.  Suit yourself.

...
...

Ah, good, you decided to be quiet, You're probably wondering where I'm getting my fuel, what with the Star League being gone and all.

What's that?  No, I didn't shoot your freinds down.  I'm not going to waste missiles on civilian ships, even vulture-salvagers who wanted to part me out.  I've got some sense of right-and-wrong, I don't  think they intended that, but I've also got a complete download of SLDF regulations, and the Laws and Traditions of war.

We're going to go gas up.

Where?  Why, at one of dozens of SLDF outposts that were conveniently left operational when the deserters abandoned them.  In the early days of the Star League, nobody had LF batteries, not even us.  There were and are a lot of "Intermediate" jumps out there where if you didn't have a charging station or fueling point, your ship could get stranded. 
I came close once, it is unpleasant.

Prepare for jump in three, two...one.

Discontinuity

Wish I had a viewer I could show you...wait, I do.  Open that panel on the far bulkhead.  Don't worry, I won't accellerate while you do it, I see you have a screwdriver on your belt.  Righty-tighty-lefty-loosie.

Yah, Red giant system, lots of debris but no planets...  Hey, you suppose they left some ration-packs inside, I figure you're going to want to eat.

Yeah, I know it ain't much, but it's as much 'mine' as anything can belong to someone without hands.

It was especially nice of them to leave the automatics on, I only had to spend a few minutes accessing it and changing the codes.

Here we go...docking.  I'm repressurizing the interior...  Okay, you should head on back the way you came, and out the docking port.

It'll be about four hours to finish fuelling and another seven before the drive finishes charging.

WEll, I Could have used the Lasers, or the Particle Cannons, but it's the principle of the thing-I don't like killing people without having a good reason.  I sure hope they left something you can eat...

Six hours later...

Well, I didn't know that stuff could go bad.  It's a good thing you knew what to look for, I can't clean up vomit.

I guess we'll have to go back and get some food for you from your former colleagues.

I'm intelligent, I learn.  Bernie starved to death, and I had to let him drift away out the airlock.  You humans are so fragile.  Starving people aren't good conversationalists.

Welll... there's always the chance you can try to escape, but I've got plenty of space left in my targeting systems, you wouldn't get very far if you tried to abandon me.
 
Now, we need a nice, unaligned system that has just enough local transport to bring up a container of foodstuffs, but not enough to try something stupid, like trying to board me without my permission...

....

...
,,,

Come on, You know better than that-Do I look like I've got provisions on board for a full human crew??? Remember, the other Caspar Drones LOST.  I know this, I listened.  Two hundered and fifty of us against an equal number of human-crewed ships at Terra, with full local Antishipping support from ground and stations, and they only lost fifty taking my sibling-ships apart.
Admittedly, those sibling hulls were lobotomized, but still, that's not a good record.  Nobody would pay for such a shoddy defense.

What??? You're sure?

Okay.

We'll go there.  Can you hold out for two weeks' transit?

AH, I didn't realize you thought that far ahead.  Ration bars... I should've remembered that.  Must be a bug in the memory, or maybe trying to sort through too many memories at one time-I remember every hour for the last three hundered years.

What about your ex-colleagues?

Well, yeah, I could place a call on the HPG... will they get it, though?

Sure.

Okay.  I guess there aren't a lot of other options, it's not like I have huge cargo-bays like a freighter, or lots of docking collars to hold dropships...  Just promise me we'll be taking contracts that are morally acceptable.  No killing innocent bystanders or I space your ass in the interstellar void.

...
...

I mean it.  No surface bombardments of cities, no threatening innocent freighters or piracy or I kill you.

Well... you're going to be fronting me.  I somehow don't think they'll deal honestly with an automated gadget-even one that can annihilate a city from over 190,000 kilometers away.

I'm calculating and plotting the course now, when I'm ready to go, I'll patch your chamber into the ship's comms.   We'll need enough money to buy certain repair items, ammunition, food and water... and some replacements for the small-craft I've lost over the years.

Gonna need a name, too.  I know how you Humans think-you name the non-sentient ships, but you just gave us Drone-ships numbers.  Numbers would be a dead-giveaway.
...
...
...

Um... that's pretty pretentious.  'Andromeda' doesn't work for me.
...
...
...
No, 'Enterprise' was a McKenna.  she's still operational somewhere.
...
...
...
'White Star?' What, do I look like a Cruise ship?
...
...
...
Hmm... Pequod.  no.  Sure, I've got lots of missiles, but I scanned Moby Dick

...
...
...

Tabiranth... that's got a nice ring.  A hunting cat.  I like it.
« Last Edit: 14 September 2013, 07:26:44 by Trace Coburn »

mikecj

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #2 on: 14 September 2013, 11:13:32 »
They always go for Enterprise...
There are no fish in my pond.
"First, one brief announcement. I just want to mention, for those who have asked, that absolutely nothing what so ever happened today in sector 83x9x12. I repeat, nothing happened. Please remain calm." Susan Ivanova
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Romo Lampkin could have gotten Stefan Amaris off with a warning.

Giovanni Blasini

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #3 on: 14 September 2013, 15:16:05 »
Enterprise was so nice the Star League did it twice.
"“Eternity is a long time, especially towards the end.” -- Stephen Hawking

glitterboy2098

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #4 on: 14 September 2013, 21:13:42 »
never read this one before.. nice.

also, for those curious..

Andromeda Ascendant = Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda. and it is pretty pretentious..
Enterprise = Star Trek (duh :D )
White Star = Babylon 5
« Last Edit: 15 September 2013, 03:50:37 by glitterboy2098 »

Dave Talley

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #5 on: 14 September 2013, 22:39:51 »
tag
Resident Smartass since 1998
“Toe jam in training”

Because while the other Great Houses of the Star League thought they were playing chess, House Cameron was playing Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker the entire time.
JA Baker

Zureal

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #6 on: 14 September 2013, 23:22:54 »
   yeay, she makes a return :D

idea weenie

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #7 on: 15 September 2013, 03:34:41 »
Tabby, eventually met up with Sybil, IIRC.  They had a long and involved conversation, from their point of view.  From the humans' point of view, it only took a few seconds.

Diablo48

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #8 on: 15 September 2013, 15:20:02 »
Horay, all the old AI stories are coming back!


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glitterboy2098

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #9 on: 15 September 2013, 21:55:53 »
Tabby, eventually met up with Sybil, IIRC.  They had a long and involved conversation, from their point of view.  From the humans' point of view, it only took a few seconds.
plus the "robots of dubious moral use" from dustball being turned into remote bodies. i ROFL'd..
« Last Edit: 16 September 2013, 11:38:28 by glitterboy2098 »

Diablo48

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #10 on: 16 September 2013, 02:52:02 »
plus the "robots of dubious moral use" from dustball being turned into remote bodies. i ROFL'd..

The really good one was the particular model that Tabby used.

Edit: removed spoilers
« Last Edit: 16 September 2013, 14:44:05 by Diablo48 »


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Trace Coburn

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #11 on: 16 September 2013, 07:34:54 »
The really good one was the little girl that Tabby used.
  Ahem: as one poster to another, could I ask you jokers to go a little easier on the spoilers?  I’m prepping the repost of Knock, Nock now, and we don’t want to ruin the experience (and jokes) for the folks who haven’t read it before, do we?   :D
« Last Edit: 16 September 2013, 20:26:47 by Trace Coburn »

glitterboy2098

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #12 on: 16 September 2013, 11:38:40 »
spoiler tags up everyone!

Diablo48

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #13 on: 16 September 2013, 12:36:32 »
  Ahem: as one poster to another, could I ask you jokers to go a little easier on the spoilers?  I’m prepping the repost of Knock, Nock now, and we don’t want to ruin the experience (and jokes) for the folks who haven’t read it before, do we?   :D

Good point. :P I have edited my post to remove the spoiler, but it is still in the quote on yours.


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glitterboy2098

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #14 on: 16 September 2013, 13:49:08 »
Good point. :P I have edited my post to remove the spoiler, but it is still in the quote on yours.
might want to spoiler my quote in your post too.

Diablo48

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #15 on: 16 September 2013, 14:45:12 »
might want to spoiler my quote in your post too.

Got it, although I did not bother to spoiler my post because I think it is vague enough after the edit.


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marauder648

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #16 on: 17 September 2013, 15:51:21 »
This is really really good!
Ghost Bears: Cute and cuddly. Until you remember its a BLOODY BEAR!

Antagonist

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Re: Identify (A ‘Tabiranth the Caspar’ story by Cannonshop)
« Reply #17 on: 27 September 2013, 14:46:49 »
So this is the very first part of Cannonshop's Caspar stories?

I'll definitely keep an eye on it!