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Author Topic: You never forget the first time...  (Read 994 times)

Cannonshop

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You never forget the first time...
« on: 08 October 2020, 13:32:15 »
Everybody has a first time story.  First time you saw combat, first time you got promoted, first time you got laid.

everyone has one.  Most of them are nothing but 'war stories', now the difference between a 'war story' and an outright lie, is a war story starts with 'listen up here you jagoff, this is important...'

So listen up here, you jagoff, this is important.  nah, I'm just screwing with you greenie.  It isn't important.  this advice absolutely will NOT save your frekking be-hind, because we're all...all of us, already so far ****** we're past the point of pregnancy risk.

Even the boys.   That is how completely and unutterably screwed we are, we are dead men, our bodies just ain't caught on yet.

Welcome to the 178th Drop Infantry, don't worry, you won't be staying long, though it is a lifetime appointment.

now, if you look out your window, you will notice there is a planet outside.  Somewhere, down there, are the guys they actually value, those guys get to wear tank-tops and shorts and drive in multibillion C-Bill walking tanks.

They are not us.  the proof of that, is that we get the shit jobs, the jobs you can't give to a high-born bastard of a high class hooker and your local noble.

They get battlemechs, we get pressure suits.  They get steak and fries, we get reconstituted, processed bowel-leavings that our suit life-support system insists won't kill us, (but it will make you kind of ready to die after the second day.)

They have cannons, we get pistols an vibroblades.

They get glory, we win the ****** war.

Outside your window, it's a breezy and temperate zero millibars pressure with lows around 5 Kelvin and highs around 12000 degrees celsius in perpetual sunlight-except where there's shade and it's ****** cold.

you can't see our objective, because there's a ****** door in the way, and we haven't reached it.  The 'mechboys are going for glory on the ground, with that civilian fornication and hot hype drugs. 

we're taking the enemy's ****** warship.

So give your balls a tug, greenskins, we're goin' where nobody in his or her (or their or hes or hirs) right mind is willing to go.  Boarding Assault kids!

ANd i can't tell you want to expect, becasue surprise! 

"It's my first time too."  Ohhh Babies.

-end-
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2) If you don't like something I've said, refer to rule 1.  If you do, god help you poor soul, you're screwed up.

JA Baker

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #1 on: 08 October 2020, 14:38:37 »
DropShip rollin on down the strip,
64 Marines on a one-way trip.
Mission top secret, destination unknown,
And we don't know if we're ever comin' home.

Stand up, hook up, shuffle to the door,
Jump on out and count to four.
And if my main shouldn't open wide,
I pack a reserve 'chute by my side.

And if that one should fail me too
Then look out, ground,
'Cos' I'm comin' on through!

If I should die in some distance war zone,
Then box me up and ship me home.
And as they lay me down to rest,
Tell my mom I did my best.

Give my back-pay to my wife,
So she'll be happy the rest of her life.
Tell my little baby, "now don't you cry,
'Cause your daddy was a HellJumper when he died!"

-Military cadence of 2nd Battalion, 125th Orbital Strike Division
'The Falling Angels'
"That's the thing about invading the Capellan Confederation: half a decade later, you want to invade it again"
-Attributed to First-Prince Hanse Davion, 3030


BadKarma66

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #2 on: 08 October 2020, 16:44:54 »
Are you a Pittsburgh native? Caught the "jagoff" comment.

Artifex

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #3 on: 08 October 2020, 16:52:29 »
TAGged ... will be interesting to see the view of the PBIs  8)

Euphonium

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #4 on: 08 October 2020, 17:11:09 »
Grunts! in Spaaace!
>>>>[You're only jealous because the voices don't talk to you]<<<<

Dave Talley

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #5 on: 08 October 2020, 22:18:59 »
a no Ngo story? ok
Resident Smartass since 1998
“Toe jam in training”

Because while the other Great Houses of the Star League thought they were playing chess, House Cameron was playing Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker the entire time.
JA Baker

Nikas_Zekeval

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #6 on: 09 October 2020, 15:46:35 »
a no Ngo story? ok

I don't know, this stunt is certainly Ngo level crazy. :yikes:

glitterboy2098

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #7 on: 09 October 2020, 16:47:46 »
i'm guessong like the last one it will be Ngo-adjacent at best. same universe, different people.

Brother Jim

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #8 on: 09 October 2020, 17:13:13 »
Marines in space !!   >:D

DOC_Agren

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #9 on: 11 October 2020, 23:52:24 »
Tag
"For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast, And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed:And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill, And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!"

worktroll

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #10 on: 12 October 2020, 02:18:31 »
One ping ...
* No, FASA wasn't big on errata - ColBosch
* The Housebook series is from the 80's and is the foundation of Btech, the 80's heart wrapped in heavy metal that beats to this day - Sigma
* To sum it up: FASAnomics: By Cthulhu, for Cthulhu - Moonsword
* Because Battletech is a conspiracy by Habsburg & Bourbon pretenders - MadCapellan
* The Hellbringer is cool, either way. It's not cool because it's bad, it's cool because it's bad with balls - Nightsky
* It was a glorious time for people who felt that we didn't have enough Marauder variants - HABeas2, re "Empires Aflame"

mikecj

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Re: You never forget the first time...
« Reply #11 on: 12 October 2020, 16:56:38 »
 :thumbsup:
There are no fish in my pond.
"First, one brief announcement. I just want to mention, for those who have asked, that absolutely nothing what so ever happened today in sector 83x9x12. I repeat, nothing happened. Please remain calm." Susan Ivanova
"Solve a man's problems with violence, help him for a day. Teach a man to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime." - Belkar Bitterleaf
Romo Lampkin could have gotten Stefan Amaris off with a warning.

 

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