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Author Topic: another nasty little short.  (Read 1204 times)

Cannonshop

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another nasty little short.
« on: 26 November 2020, 01:56:26 »
Von Strang's Legacy


You know, they called him 'Vampire Von Strang' during the war.  That, is a really funny joke.

Don't bother struggling, son, you'll only hurt yourself.

See, it's only really funny, if you understand that General Von Strang cut his too-flat teeth wrangling some of the darkest things from humanity's dark past.  He played with black magic, and demonic rituals-that's all actually true.  Since Kerensky left, I guess there's no reason to keep it in the sack anymore.

Shouting's not gonna help, kid, nobody here who can hear you is inclined to help you.  OH...you don't recognize me.

Let me give you a hint: What's sharp, and bluish-green with tan streaks, about three meters long and fits in a post-hole?  Here's a hint, it helps Rimjob officers remain at attention.

Yeah...yeah...still in the history books! all-right.

as I was saying, it's really, really funny.  He wasn't a vampire.  No of course not, vampires aren't real, right? There's this famous trick-the trick is that the best prank old scratch ever pulled, was convincing the world he wasn't real.  Now this might hurt a bit, and after a while, you're going to feel kinda faint. It's alright. I'm not going to kill you tonight.

Just a little pick-me-up.

mmm.

Type AB...a hint of venereal disease? dude, you should've taken better care of yourself when you had the chance, but don't worry, The Colonel has you covered buddy, you'll never have to worry about spreading that garbage around, and...oh for crying out loud, do you see anyone else here?  NO??

Right then.

as I was explaining...Von Strang was a human, he died a human.  we never met, but you hear stories, or I did, at least, most of us keep a low profile for a reason.  The guy who turned me into this, did it because I was dying.

Eternity is longer than you'd think.  Believe me.

I was dying, we still had a war to win.  It was because of what we found at Running Deer Mountain, and what I ordered, oversaw, and participated in.  It impressed them.

'Unwavering determination' and 'righteous sense of justice'.  so they turned me into one of them.

one of what?

Check this out! 

Schlorp

Schlikk

Yeah, they're retractible.  easier to talk with the teeth pulled back, easier to pass for a human.

The hard part, is not eating humans, especially not feeding on family.

Now, see, you all made a mistake.  You came here.  Even the Lyrans don't come here much, they collect their taxes and my descendents sell them stuff, but they kinda leave us to our own devices.  which is why they didn't notice.

I was kinda fine with that.  But...but then your lot got jealous, because your fellow deserter-spawn were succeeding in their little reconquista.

So you decided to try your luck.

WELL...

Von Strang wasn't the vampire.  WE are.

Now it's not like you think-drinking blood is more like a way to get really high, and get really powerful.  It's not strictly necessary if you sleep enough.  I think my longest nap was last century-I basically missed it.

'skipped to the good part' you might say, hey?

We came home, and we took shifts.  Guarding our people, diggit?  Your invasion woke us up.

Which is why I pried you out of that armor suit, and why you're tonight's apertiff, before we make a meal out of the rest of your unit.

what??

OH...you woke up the 171st Kowloon Volunteers, jackass.  all of us.  and well...the boys and girls are hungry.
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EAGLE 7

  • Master Sergeant
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Re: another nasty little short.
« Reply #1 on: 26 November 2020, 02:45:19 »
Yes.....
Wait!
I need popcorn.

New story Chaa Chaa Cha.
“ My Clan honor is bigger than your Dragon honor, and comes in 18 clan flavors.”

worktroll

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  • 504th "Gateway" Division
    • There are Monsters in my Sky!
Re: another nasty little short.
« Reply #2 on: 26 November 2020, 03:10:49 »
Do not read David Weber's Out of the Dark until you're done with this storyline.
* No, FASA wasn't big on errata - ColBosch
* The Housebook series is from the 80's and is the foundation of Btech, the 80's heart wrapped in heavy metal that beats to this day - Sigma
* To sum it up: FASAnomics: By Cthulhu, for Cthulhu - Moonsword
* Because Battletech is a conspiracy by Habsburg & Bourbon pretenders - MadCapellan
* The Hellbringer is cool, either way. It's not cool because it's bad, it's cool because it's bad with balls - Nightsky
* It was a glorious time for people who felt that we didn't have enough Marauder variants - HABeas2, re "Empires Aflame"

Euphonium

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Re: another nasty little short.
« Reply #3 on: 26 November 2020, 06:54:53 »
Interesting twist....

Do not read David Weber's Out of the Dark until you're done with this storyline.

Personally I'd say just don't read Out of the Dark at all, but YMMV
>>>>[You're only jealous because the voices don't talk to you]<<<<

Artifex

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Re: another nasty little short.
« Reply #4 on: 26 November 2020, 07:07:33 »
Nice attempt lads, going for the negative reinforcement here. :-D

Otherwise this is TAGged to the shizniz. :thumbsup:

cklammer

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Re: another nasty little short.
« Reply #5 on: 26 November 2020, 07:10:17 »
Will this one feature Sarah Michelle Gellar?  >:D

eriktheviking

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Re: another nasty little short.
« Reply #6 on: 26 November 2020, 08:11:45 »
Is this a form of biological warfare?

Flame_Draken

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Re: another nasty little short.
« Reply #7 on: 26 November 2020, 10:06:08 »
At least this story didn't seemingly pull it out of nowhere just to keep humanity alive.  I like reading David Weber stories, but the final bits were a 'WTF?' moment.

More on topic.  I wonder how Goliath Scorpions will react to living, well unliving, people from the SL civil war being around.

Dragon Cat

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Re: another nasty little short.
« Reply #8 on: 26 November 2020, 19:17:18 »
Between this an JA Bakers piece we've got the mystery in BattleTech
The below link leads to a wiki page created by Wrangler.  It has links to the various pages of my AU.
https://battletechfanon.fandom.com/wiki/Alternate_Timeline_with_Thanks
For those looking for everything online I've also got them on the OurBattleTech website
https://www.ourbattletech.com/forum/index.php?board=76.0
As always please enjoy and if you have any questions about my AU (or want to chat about ideas I could incorporate into it) feel free to PM me.

Nikas_Zekeval

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Re: another nasty little short.
« Reply #9 on: 26 November 2020, 20:12:06 »
Hmm, Vampire Legion waking up to wage the war again?  Someone needs to give the Major's "I Love War" Speech. ;D

DOC_Agren

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Re: another nasty little short.
« Reply #10 on: 07 December 2020, 01:40:40 »
there no more   :'(
"For the Angel of Death spread his wings on the blast, And breathed in the face of the foe as he passed:And the eyes of the sleepers waxed deadly and chill, And their hearts but once heaved, and for ever grew still!"

 

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