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Author Topic: Tinfoil Battletech!  (Read 7331 times)

Prospernia

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #90 on: 17 October 2021, 16:26:12 »
The head of the Church of the Starry Wisdom is actually an alien.

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #91 on: 17 October 2021, 17:03:58 »
Humanity actually went extinct shortly after leaving Earth in the BTU.  Everyone in the universe is actually an alien pretending to be a human because they think that everyone else is a human.
Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

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Middcore

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #92 on: 17 October 2021, 18:51:10 »
Humanity actually went extinct shortly after leaving Earth in the BTU.  Everyone in the universe is actually an alien pretending to be a human because they think that everyone else is a human.

https://youtu.be/wPiHQ37gXnE?t=131

(2:10 if that doesn't start at the correct time)
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MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #93 on: 17 October 2021, 19:09:17 »
Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

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Daryk

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #94 on: 17 October 2021, 19:11:00 »
That was hilarious!  :thumbsup:

Oppressor

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #95 on: 17 October 2021, 19:45:32 »
 :thumbsup:

Middcore

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #96 on: 17 October 2021, 20:11:49 »
Crab, King Crab, Hermit Crab.... Coincidence? I think not! The Crab people are bidding their time and the hour is nearly upon us! As soon as their heavy mech counterpart arises the crab people will declare war upon all of humanity! Will you be cought unprepared?! Open your eyes! Ready yourselves for the Crab Wars!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation

The arc of the evolutionary universe is long, but it tends toward C R A B S.

Discard your pathetic delusions of primate superiority. Crabs are nature's ideal. There are only crabs, and life forms that are not yet crabs.
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rebs

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #97 on: 17 October 2021, 20:37:42 »
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carcinisation

The arc of the evolutionary universe is long, but it tends toward C R A B S.

Discard your pathetic delusions of primate superiority. Crabs are nature's ideal. There are only crabs, and life forms that are not yet crabs.

I can attest to this from simulations.

As in when I was 16 I was playing SimEarth om the SNES.  I managed to get dinosaurs evolved on land, which was a triumph of sorts for me. 

Then they started dying off due to intelligent crustaceans that would come up onto land, kill dinosaurs, then disappear back into the sea.  They evolved on accident without me noticing.

So yes, watch for the crab people.

Also.  Mirelurks in Fallout 3.  FEV may have forced it, but people became crabby.

The evidence is overwhelming.  Even the blind can see it, for cat's sake!


MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #98 on: 17 October 2021, 20:46:40 »
Mirelurks were crabs becoming people, not people becoming crabs.
Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

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Middcore

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #99 on: 17 October 2021, 20:58:07 »
Mirelurks were crabs becoming people, not people becoming crabs.

Primate propaganda!
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Prospernia

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #100 on: 18 October 2021, 22:16:13 »
Speaking of aliens, FASA was going to introduce alien-race(s), in Explorer Corps, but decided against it.  IDK, FASA introduced magic into cyberpunk, but hey.

Prospernia

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #101 on: 20 October 2021, 20:31:42 »
Also, the mechs are all AIs, that have multiple-memories that use humans to test combat simulations, over and over again.  They are running the Inner-Sphere and using humans as pawns.

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #102 on: 21 October 2021, 18:14:11 »
Also, the mechs are all AIs, that have multiple-memories that use humans to test combat simulations, over and over again.  They are running the Inner-Sphere and using humans as pawns.

Like Thomas the Tank Engine with more guns and hostility!

I want that to be a BattleTech crossover now  :D
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Karasu

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #103 on: 22 October 2021, 02:49:35 »
Like Thomas the Tank Engine with more guns and hostility!

I want that to be a BattleTech crossover now  :D

Have you considered searching for Thomas the Tank Engine mecha?  You won't be disappointed...

TheoLehman

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #104 on: 22 October 2021, 09:29:04 »
Thomas the Tank Engine is clearly an agent for the Black Dragon Society.  As is Victor Steiner-Davion.

Wrangler

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #105 on: 22 October 2021, 14:13:07 »
Alaric Ward-Steiner (Davion), is final product of a multi-generational effort to dominate the Inner Sphere. Now he posed to sit as Star Lord of a new Star League / ilClan(Clam?)
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rebs

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #106 on: 22 October 2021, 15:19:46 »
Alaric of the Many Names and Narrow Family Tree *is* the Kwisatz Haderach!

Fight me!

Jal Phoenix

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #107 on: 22 October 2021, 17:02:03 »
Hanse Davion has descendants that can lay claim to every one of the Successor States, if you believe what the Blake Documents has to say about Sun-Tzu. AND Hanse's grandson is ilKhan. House Davion won the Succession Wars. Hanse, who is still alive after faking his own death and employing a little bit of Magistracy science, is chilling on a beach on Herotitus with a maitai and his true love, Katrina Steiner, both of them giggling at the state of affairs.

Empyrus

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #108 on: 22 October 2021, 17:32:27 »
Hanse Davion has descendants that can lay claim to every one of the Successor States, if you believe what the Blake Documents has to say about Sun-Tzu. AND Hanse's grandson is ilKhan. House Davion won the Succession Wars. Hanse, who is still alive after faking his own death and employing a little bit of Magistracy science, is chilling on a beach on Herotitus with a maitai and his true love, Katrina Steiner, both of them giggling at the state of affairs.
I knew there's a reason Daoshen is so intent on attacking Terra! Gotta protect the Inner Sphere from Davion bastards!  :D
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rebs

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #109 on: 22 October 2021, 18:25:29 »
You mean protect the IS from his brother!

Daryk

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #110 on: 22 October 2021, 19:25:49 »
Hanse Davion has descendants that can lay claim to every one of the Successor States, if you believe what the Blake Documents has to say about Sun-Tzu. AND Hanse's grandson is ilKhan. House Davion won the Succession Wars. Hanse, who is still alive after faking his own death and employing a little bit of Magistracy science, is chilling on a beach on Herotitus with a maitai and his true love, Katrina Steiner, both of them giggling at the state of affairs.
The foil is STRONG with this one!  :D

Empyrus

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #111 on: 22 October 2021, 20:52:06 »
You mean protect the IS from his brother!
Minor, irrelevant detail  ;D
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Lone-Wolf

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #112 on: 23 October 2021, 08:32:41 »
The Clans knew they couldnt beat the Inner Sphere (because of numbers).

So, they decided to send Jaime Wolf and his Dragoons to the IS to terrify them that the IS would say: "Ok, to have a chance at beating the Clans we have to be like the Clans."
So that the various Houses would turn into Clans, like Clan Steiner. Later this would lead to the fracturing of Clan Steiner into Clan Steiner (Katrina), Clan Steiner (Allessandro, Ryan), Clan Steiner (Frederick), Clan Lestrade, Clan Brewer etc. (and the other houses too.)
Then these Clans would fight among themselves and then the "real" Clans would swoop in and absorb the entire IS.
And as the entire IS would by then be accustomed to the Clan way of life there would be no resistance to the "real" Clans taking power.

And Katherine Steiner-Davion is a good person.
You know, when her daddy Hanse instituted the plan to replace Joshua Marik with a double this was a testrun for all rulers of the entire IS to be replaced by doubles. Her brother Victor, privy to his fathers diabolical plan and willing accomplice, wanted to accelerate this plan. But Katherine stepped in and foiled this dastardly plan. We should all sing praises to the heroic sacrifice of the lamented Katherine.

Calimehter

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #113 on: 23 October 2021, 15:01:06 »
I've been away for a bit and actually expected to see a thread about people playing Battletech with aluminum foil folded into little Mechs origami-style and playing games with them when I opened this thread.  ;D

As an actual contribution:  The reason that tiny military forces are sufficient to keep the peace on worlds with billions of people is that . . . there are not really billions of people on *any* of these worlds.  The Inner Sphere worlds are barely populated.  The local nobility gets money from the states based off of head count, and have been wildly inflating the numbers for so long that everybody just believes them now.

rebs

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #114 on: 23 October 2021, 17:02:22 »
That's actually a great explanation of FASAnomics...

TheoLehman

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #115 on: 23 October 2021, 18:05:54 »
The most powerful and well-funded branch of the FedSuns government is the Ministry of Sufficient Comfort, who are charged with making sure, by any means necessary, that the First Prince has the softest pillows in the Inner Sphere.
This was the true cause of the War of 3039.

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #116 on: 23 October 2021, 18:47:04 »
So the FedCom Civil War was actually a pillow fight?
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TheoLehman

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #117 on: 23 October 2021, 23:38:23 »
So the FedCom Civil War was actually a pillow fight?
Funnily enough, that was the only war the FedSuns ever fought that wasn't pillow-related.  Katherine stole Yvonne's favorite plushie, and Victor, ever the overprotective brother, made a bigger deal out of it than he had to.
Contrary to rumor, it was not an UrbanMech plushie.  It was a Rifleman.

BATTLEMASTER

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #118 on: 24 October 2021, 18:24:36 »
Funnily enough, that was the only war the FedSuns ever fought that wasn't pillow-related.  Katherine stole Yvonne's favorite plushie, and Victor, ever the overprotective brother, made a bigger deal out of it than he had to.
Contrary to rumor, it was not an UrbanMech plushie.  It was a Rifleman.

You read it here first - House Davion has a monopoly over Rifleman plushies.  It's why we only see Urbanmech ones right now xp
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Prospernia

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Re: Tinfoil Battletech!
« Reply #119 on: 24 October 2021, 19:09:02 »
One thing FASA got right, was the lack of intelligent alien-species to compete with man's domination of the local star-groups.

. . . As an actual contribution:  The reason that tiny military forces are sufficient to keep the peace on worlds with billions of people is that . . . there are not really billions of people on *any* of these worlds.  The Inner Sphere worlds are barely populated.  The local nobility gets money from the states based off of head count, and have been wildly inflating the numbers for so long that everybody just believes them now.

That makes a lot of sense, actually.  We've always been perplexed on the huge populations of IS worlds.

Also, most IS worlds are barely habitable, if you bring a space-suit.  And an  Earth-like world is hardly Earth-like.   Your average world one should expect an extreme in temperatures, gravity, atmosphere, etc.  There's a reason there's a Life-Support slot on the critical-hit chart.