Author Topic: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed (Read 201130 times)

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #660 on:** 26 October 2012, 10:25:39 »

*The doorbell rings, aparently FedEx has brought what appears to be a flat packed BoP, the instructions are in Swedish.*

Wombat · « **Reply #661 on:** 26 October 2012, 11:20:46 »

[Wombat grabs the package and tears open the package. Sadly since Wombat cannot read (any language) he attempts to guess what the instructions say.]

"...well clearly it says to attach the mouth hole to an angry possum and then beat both furiously with a broom, all while listening to the Pet Shop Boys. Sounds clear enough."

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #662 on:** 26 October 2012, 11:52:50 »

LOL! This is NOT going to end well!

Here, I have the broom.

Wombat · « **Reply #663 on:** 26 October 2012, 13:00:14 »

*Whap.*

*WHAP!*

*Whapp-ity Whapp-ity Whapp-ity*
*WHAP!*

*WHAP!!*

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #664 on:** 26 October 2012, 17:03:14 »

~digs out an old "Pet Shop Boys" cassette~

What Have I done to Deserve This......that sounds appropriate

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #665 on:** 26 October 2012, 19:15:14 »

Have you tried looking at the diagrams?

Does anyone here actually know how to assemble Ikea ~~furniture~~robots?

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #666 on:** 26 October 2012, 19:50:52 »

yes, but the hex key is missing

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #667 on:** 26 October 2012, 19:59:30 »

I am supposed to come in three boxes; did you check all of them?

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #668 on:** 26 October 2012, 22:42:33 »

We got two. Is that a problem?

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #669 on:** 27 October 2012, 00:57:52 »

Only if you want your BoP unit to have arms, integral weaponry and an automated espresso maker and hot water dispenser along with the tools to assemble said BoP (note: while the boxes you do have contain the beer cooler, the beverage service reactor that is supposed to power it mounts to the left shoulder and thus, is in the box with the arms)

Wombat · « **Reply #670 on:** 27 October 2012, 07:28:29 »

[Wombat can be seen running around with a Bird of Prey arm he is using as a back scratcher.]

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #671 on:** 27 October 2012, 08:34:38 »

Since you are incomplete we will call you Bo. Bo the back scratcher.

Wombat · « **Reply #672 on:** 27 October 2012, 11:43:54 »

"...feels great scratching your unmentionables too."

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #673 on:** 27 October 2012, 11:47:44 »

I don't have any unmentionables "probably-should-not-mentionables" on the other hand....

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #674 on:** 28 October 2012, 11:31:43 »

*A BoP Industries tech arrives with the remaining box and quickly assembles the flat pack BoP, fills the espresso machine and stores a six pack in the BoP compact beer cooler^TM before leaving*
Uh wombat, that arm appears to be off of one of my models from six months ago, do I even want to know why you had that in your pouch all this time?

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #675 on:** 28 October 2012, 11:39:53 »

n o, you don't want to know. If you have never experienced the horror that is Wombats Pouch, be grateful. Trust me, it will corrupt your OS from now until eternity, no matter what system upgrades or memory wipes are performed at source. It IS that bad

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #676 on:** 28 October 2012, 11:41:34 »

Good thing I (try to) use a scorched earth policy regarding previous bodies. Why else do you think I have included self-destruct devices since model 27?

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #677 on:** 28 October 2012, 11:43:18 »

wont help. I assure you

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #678 on:** 28 October 2012, 11:57:49 »

it's been working so far.

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #679 on:** 28 October 2012, 20:24:24 »

Only as long as you don't do a data dump. Just treat the previous data as corrupted beyond repair and start over.

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #680 on:** 28 October 2012, 20:39:09 »

I always do data dumps.
I dump all my data in the trash (AKA /b/)

Wombat · « **Reply #681 on:** 29 October 2012, 06:45:11 »

[Wombat shrugs as if he understood what was being said and proceeds to shove Bird of Prey's arm down the back of his marsupial suit to scratch himself.]

*scratch*
*scratch*
*GRAB!*

"Huh?"

[Wombat attempts to pull Bird of Prey's arm out, but it appears to have "latched on" inside his marsupial suit and underneath his furry bits. Wombat struggles but the hand won't release. Wombat tugs and pulls and, eventually, falls to the ground tugging on the arm.]

"Neh...release! Open seseme! Engage! Up up and away! Maximilian Liao's shorts...let go of my...."

*Rip!*

[Wombat eventually pulls Bird of Prey's arm out. The fist is still clutching the bottom half of Wombat's marsupial suit, leaving Wombat wearing...half a marsupial suit. Wombat looks down, then up, and smiles a big toothy grin.]

"...well at least its breezy now."

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #682 on:** 29 October 2012, 18:31:43 »

Almost as breezy as the inside of your widdle head! 8)

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #683 on:** 29 October 2012, 18:38:29 »

only without the echo

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #684 on:** 29 October 2012, 20:59:10 »

Be glad that wasn't one of the arms with the sharp ~~razor~~catlike claws.

Wombat · « **Reply #685 on:** 30 October 2012, 09:57:57 »

[Wombat's legs collapse into bite-size chunks.]

"...well, I guess it was one of those arms."

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #686 on:** 30 October 2012, 12:07:49 »

Oops. I would say that you are disarmed, but........................ :o

Wombat · « **Reply #687 on:** 30 October 2012, 12:29:23 »

[Wombat begins gluing himself back together again.]

"A little help, guys?"

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #688 on:** 30 October 2012, 12:33:15 »

~begins 'helping' Wombat by crazy gluing parts of his leg to his back, nose, left ear etc.~

Wombat · « **Reply #689 on:** 30 October 2012, 14:09:34 »

[Since Wombat can't read, he assumes ShadowRaven has read his instruction booklet and smiles a big toothy grin.]

"Feel free to get in my pouch if you need any power tools or explosives."