Author Topic: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed (Read 200376 times)

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #510 on:** 19 March 2012, 18:57:46 »

My AA guns also come in extra strength.

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #511 on:** 19 March 2012, 23:12:36 »

good to know I'll send in the kamikaze drones first.

Wombat · « **Reply #512 on:** 20 March 2012, 14:30:31 »

[Wombat, sleeping in the salad bar again, wakes up and (for no reason whatsoever) bites ShadowRaven on the butt.]

*CLAMP!*

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #513 on:** 20 March 2012, 15:14:43 »

YOOOOUCH!!!

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #514 on:** 20 March 2012, 17:08:36 »

Need some extra strength Novocaine?

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #515 on:** 20 March 2012, 18:33:05 »

no I do not want my ass to go numb for the next week.

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #516 on:** 20 March 2012, 23:29:24 »

Actually, it's more like being eaten and slobbered on right now..... ::)

Wombat · « **Reply #517 on:** 21 March 2012, 05:59:58 »

"Anwwf mft jnni mmf mmfce?"

*translation* (since Wombat hasn't let go) "Anyone got any soy sauce?"

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #518 on:** 21 March 2012, 07:23:31 »

I'll have an industrial sized crate airdropped on you momentarily.

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #519 on:** 21 March 2012, 10:04:47 »

Shadowbird, your butt is now a Wombat chew toy!

Better him than me!

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #520 on:** 21 March 2012, 13:38:36 »

s'alright. I'm used to getting my ass chewed out, though ussually it's by angry bosses and pissy customers.

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #521 on:** 21 March 2012, 22:43:06 »

Word.

Wombat · « **Reply #522 on:** 23 March 2012, 14:32:55 »

"...hmm. Tastes like chicken."

Mastergunz · « **Reply #523 on:** 23 March 2012, 14:49:54 »

So I says to myself "Self, lets drop on by here and see what this thread is about....'. I came in about the part Wombat bit someone on the ass.... seems like a fun place to hang out. >:D So whats on tap?

-Gunz

Wombat · « **Reply #524 on:** 23 March 2012, 17:30:07 »

[Wombat drops his ShadowRaven chewtoy which, ironically, makes a squeaky noise as it hits the floor. Wombat smiles a big toothy grin as he notices what every maniacal hellbent Marsupial loves to see; somebody...new. Oddly enough, a spotlight seems to shine down on Mastergunz (and he appears to be standing on a giant saucer).]

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #525 on:** 23 March 2012, 17:59:01 »

~the squeaky was as much from pain as anything as Sr looked over at Gunz and did his best to convey, wordlessly that he should run away as fast as he can.~

Mastergunz · « **Reply #526 on:** 23 March 2012, 18:42:21 »

This is like one of those scenes from an old western where the piano suddenly stops and all eyes turn to see the 'new guy' standing in the doorway. Only instead of rough and tumble bandito's im confronted with a crazed man-eating marsupial, a human chew toy and a very frightened looking bird....

'Hey guys, why is there a dinner plate on the floor the size of a wagon wheel? And what's with the spotlight?!' (See's Wombat, nervously glances towards SR as a pool of blood spreads out on the floor. Begin's slowly backing out...) 'Think ima go now...'

-Gunz

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #527 on:** 23 March 2012, 22:27:20 »

Don't run. You will only be mangled, mitilated, spindled, folded, etc. etc. etc. while tired. Her, drink this. It won't dull the pain, but you won't care.

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #528 on:** 25 March 2012, 07:35:19 »

Quote from: Wombat on 23 March 2012, 14:32:55

"...hmm. Tastes like chicken."

That ain't right. The crate I dropped on you was supposed to cover your food with the taste of soy.

Quote from: Mastergunz on 23 March 2012, 14:49:54

So I says to myself "Self, lets drop on by here and see what this thread is about....'. I came in about the part Wombat bit someone on the ass.... seems like a fun place to hang out. >:D So whats on tap?

-Gunz

Crazeale.

Whayever you do, don't run, it only triggers Wombat's chase reflex. . . I think.
Regardless, stay right where you are *Paints Mastergunz for orbital bombardment with spotting laser, and calculates time-to-wombat*

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #529 on:** 25 March 2012, 19:31:57 »

BoP, to Wombat everything that is not a blue urinal cake tastes like chicken! Except chicken..... }:)

Falchion · « **Reply #530 on:** 25 March 2012, 20:10:29 »

A lone Falchion wanders in and looks around.

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #531 on:** 25 March 2012, 21:04:15 »

right chicken tastes more like pink urinal cakes to Wombat.

Falchion · « **Reply #532 on:** 25 March 2012, 23:14:26 »

Finding no opposition, Falchion sidles off into a secluded corner of the thread. A few minutes later, several Falchions wearing black leather jackets saunter out of the corner and settle down at the bar.

"We'll have a round of Maiden's Tears and some lead chips to start, please."

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #533 on:** 26 March 2012, 00:04:42 »

Two can play that game
*A half dozen BoP's enter through the front door and sit down at the bar*
We'll have three shots of jack, and a salohamartini for each of us.

Wombat · « **Reply #534 on:** 26 March 2012, 14:03:40 »

[Wombat, now dressed in a blood-red tu-tu (with matching tights, of course) smiles a big toothy grin at Mastergunz. Wombat pulls an improbably-large chalkboard out of his pouch and superglues it to Achoo's back.]

"Don't move."

[Wombat proceeds to draw an elaborate series of pullies, levers, speeding taxi cabs, and half-a-dozen doomsday devices. Wombat smiles and nods when his drawing is complete. Oddly enough, Wombat nodding makes a ping-pong ball inside an empty coffee can sound. Wombat takes the chalkboard off Achoo's back, ignoring the oblitigory screaming, and looks at Mastergunz...and then at a stopwatch.]

Wombat: "...three...two...um, what comes after two?"
Achoo: "Squid."
Wombat: *snaps* "...thats right. Squid."

[Almost immediately, Mastergunz is crushed by three container ships falling out of the sky, all carrying squid.]

*BLAM!*
*BLAM!*
*BLAM!*

[Wombat waddles into the mountain-high pile of squid and twisted metal and waddles back out with Mastergunz pants, his wallet, and keys to his 'mech.]

"You know, I could have sworn that Tuna fish came after two."

[Immediately, 17 million tons of tuna fish (complete with mayonaise) is dumped on Mastergunz as well. Wombat smiles a big toothy grin, puts on a bib, and begins to lick the tunafish and mayonaise off Mastergunz.]

*slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp...*

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #535 on:** 26 March 2012, 16:10:06 »

NOW
*BoP pulls the trigger of the target designator causing a dozen warships to open fire on the location he was aiming at. His work done (for now) he joins his clones at the bar.*
I'll have a gallon of your best moonshine.

Mastergunz · « **Reply #536 on:** 26 March 2012, 16:47:48 »

(Coming to a simblance of conciousness) "What the heck just happened?! Where did all this tunafish come from and more importantly where are my pants?!" (Looks down to notice Wombat licking mayonaise off his naked thigh) "On second thought, nevermind. ACHOO, whatever was in that drink, give me another." (pulls a small black box with a big red button on it from out of nowhere) "And they called me a fool for buying this off that one legged Canopian.... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

(Everyone in the bar suddenly grows cat ears and a tail)

"Well that was unexpected...."

-Gunz

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #537 on:** 26 March 2012, 17:50:57 »

Unexpected, maybe. Unusually, not really. Wombat was involved somehow. And why is the bar twenty map sheets over there getting pounded by an orbital bombardment? Somebody must have let Weirdo at the fire control console again.

Falchion · « **Reply #538 on:** 26 March 2012, 22:51:17 »

One of the Falchions looks at their new ears and tails. "Oh, no..." he groans with dread.

With a distorted MIDI of a hunting horn accompanying them, a pack of Falchions riding lobotomized and steroided Falchion cubs enters the thread. Wielding box cutters and slingshots loaded with box cutters, they chase down the Falchions at the bar and hack them to pieces before tying the severed heads to their saddles and climbing off. They walk over to the bar.

"A pint of battery acid and human babies for everyone for this successful hunt!"

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #539 on:** 27 March 2012, 13:12:38 »

Sorry Falchion. Club rules. Only one iteration of you form can be in the bar at any ont time. Any copies will be summarily executed. Only one Falchion can be in the club. The rest gotto go.