Sarcasm, surely?
it is known since the Gulf War that the best way to write off a jeep, is to leave it unsecured somewhere near any collection, accumulation or aggregation of U.S. Marines deployed overseas. Since space is a bit like overseas, it follows that the best way to lose a Jeep, is to leave it unsecured where a Marine can find it-and Marines have a special "Jeep sense" that draws them to the unsuspecting and unsecured vehicle like moths to a flame, shortly thereafter, said jeep will vanish.
The way to prevent this is, of course, to leave a selection of girlie and/or gun magazines on the front seat within view. this principle is similar to that of leaving an offering for the Fae. (don't dare call a Marine Fae, however, unless you enjoy the sensation of swallowing your teeth... even though there is something of a similarity with Unseelie Redcaps, Boggarts, and other...vigorous types in that genus, particularly the bloodthirst and fondness for cruel pranks.)
Alternatively, you can prevent the Marine from taking your jeep with just a few simple precautions:
1. aforementioned donation of magazines, or other Pogie-baits such as energy drinks, alcohol, or chewing tobacco.
2. installation of a pressure-triggered claymore in the driver's seat will deter all but the most skilled and determined of these creatures.
3. removal of the starter motor from the engine (be sure to take it with you.)
4. Parking somewhere devoid of mud, paint or other substances that can be used to paint over or conceal the bumper-number.
5. seating an O-1 in the passenger seat, with a map and compass.
6. Parking near a senior NCO whom is seeking additional laborers. (be careful, it requires a senior NCO of the Marine variety, and said NCO may be hiding a spare starter motor in his pockets...)
7. There is no seven.
Remember not to hold it against that peculiar species, and also that it is a time honored tradition to leave used up, worn out, or otherwise unsuitable motor vehicles out for Marines to make disappear, and it is a traditional method of supplying motor vehicles from the United States Army or National Guard, to the Marine Corps, as the Navy hates to buy them vehicles or equipment.
and yes, all of the above were sarcasm. the actual reason for the rarity, is that someone made a mistake in the copy-reading. It'll probably be fixed by the time we finish this conversation.
