I think Jamaican in the moonlight of Achooluna, drinking rum every night...

[Wrangler]

What hell....
[Wrangler turns walks by couple dramatized bar patrons changes the song on the old Truetanker jukebox to someone from 1950s like ROck around the Block]

Lordy people keep playing random music here.

[The Mighty ACHOO]

How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that doggie's for sale

I must take a trip to California
And leave my poor sweetheart alone
If he has a dog, he won't be lonesome
And the doggie will have a good home

How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that doggie's for sale

I read in the paper there are robbers
With flashlights that shine in the dark
My love needs a doggie to protect him
And scare them away with one bark

I don't want a kitty or a bunny
I don't want a parrot that talks
I don't want a bowl of little fishies
He can't take a goldfish for a walk

How much is that doggie in the window?
The one with the waggley tail
How much is that doggie in the window?
I do hope that doggie's for sale
I do hope that doggie's for sale

[The Mighty ACHOO]

Well I'm-a write a little letter
I'm gonna mail it to my local D.J.
Yeah and it's a jumpin' little record
I want my jockey to play
Roll over Beethoven
I gotta hear it again today

You know my temperature's risin'
The jukebox's blowin' a fuse
My heart beatin' rhythm
And my soul keep-a singing the blues
Roll over Beethoven
And tell Tchaikovsky the news

I got the rockin' pneumonia
I need a shot of rhythm and blues
I caught the rollin' athritis
Sittin' down at a rhythm review
Roll over Beethoven
They rockin' in two by two

Well if you feel and like it
Go get your lover then reel and rock it
Roll it over then move on up, yes-a
Try for further then
Reel and rock with one another
Roll over Beethoven
And dig these rhythm and blues

Well early in the mornin'
And I'm givin' you my mornin'
Don't you step on my blue suede shoes
Hey diddle-diddle, I'm-a play my fiddle
Ain't got nothing to lose
Roll over Beethoven
And tell Tchaikovsky the news

You know she wiggle like a glow worm
Dance like a spinnin' top
She got a crazy partner
You oughta see 'em reel an rock
Long as she got a dime
The music will never stop

Roll over Beethoven
Roll over Beethoven
Roll over Beethoven
Roll over Beethoven
Roll over Beethoven
And dig these rhythm and blues

[Wrangler]

That creepy, Beethoven rolling his grave? Undead?!!?!?  :o

[The Mighty ACHOO]

Hey, man, what are you really into, huh?
The elusive butterfly has just tip-toed past my door
My buddy likes the Yankees; she says "Hey, T-Bone, what's the score?"
And I say, "Well, Reggie got 1 in 1 in 3, and 25 is 6 to 4."
Is the left-wing really pinko? Colonel Sanders, what a bore!
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this schizoid paranoia, or just existential blues?
The amenities of life have been chasing my soul
And my mind is transcendental, and I'm losing all control
And I'm sinking in the quagmire of illusions and Thoreau
I cry out, "My name is T-Bone!" as a hound dog digs a hole
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this Plato's heebie-jeebies, or just existential blues?
Sailing, sailing, what is 'lusion? What is tru-ue?
Sailing, sailing, over the existential blues
God bless America, and Old Glory too!
May she always wave o'er us with the red, white, and existential blues!
Hey, ba-ba-de-ba-ba-da-ba-da-da
Ba-de-bom-ba-de-bom--ba-ding-a-ding-ding ding-existential blues
Hey, you can do what you want but lay off my existential blues!
My blue suede existential blues!
I was on a quest!
To dream the impossible dream
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah
I was walking down the road, I was looking for the truth of life
When I came across all these little people, little people
Little people all around me
They looked up at me and said, "Hey, mister, are you tall?"
I said, "Yes, I'm tall, but who are you weird little wonders?"
And they looked up at me with their big, red, bloodshot eyes and said:
We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids
The lollipop kids
We are the lollipop kids!
And we'd like to welcome you to Munchkinland!
I said, "Hey! Hey, weird little wonders, I am on a quest
To dream the impossible dream
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah
I said, "Hey kids, I'm looking for the truth of life
Where do I go, who do I see?"
They said, "Slow down, mister, in order to find the truth of life
One must see THE WIZARD!"
I said, "THE WIZARD? Well, where does this wizard, old wise one, live?"
They said, "You see the big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill?"
I said, "Yes, I see the big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill
There's a big, dark forest between me and the big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill
And a little old lady on a Hoover vacuum cleaner going
"I'll get you, my little pretty, and your little dog, Toto, too!"
I don't even have a little dog, Toto."
Such predicaments, I must forge ahead!
To dream the impossible dream
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah
I must find the truth of life
I said, "But you know, kids, I can handle a big, green, glow-in-the-dark house up on the hill
I can handle a darn forest
I can handle the little old lady
But that's a very strange road you're sending me down!
I've seen yellow stripes in the middle of a road before, but kids, uh, never quite that wide!"
All right, tighten your shorts pilgrim, and sing like da Duke
Follow the yellow brick road (Come on)
Follow the yellow brick road (Everybody sing)
Follow, follow, follow, follow
Follow the yellow brick road
If ever a wonderful wiz there was
The Wizard of Oz is one because
Because, because, because, because, because
Because of the wonderful things he does!
La-la-la-la-la-la-la, ha-ha!
We're off to see the wizard
The wonderful Wizard of Oz!
Wellllll, I got a little bit tired of
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah
I got a little bit tired of walking down this old blinding yellow road
So pulled my little tired old body off to a little rest area
And lo and behold there's a little field of little red flowers out there
And they, heh, smelled so good. Whoa
I was gettin' pretty tired and they smelled so good, and I
Figured, well, I'll just stretch out in this little field of
POPPIES! POPPIES! POPPIES! poppies!
(Cough)
Hey, what a strange dream, man!
The little flowers, they smell awfully good, and I was pretty tired
The old wizard's just gonna have to wait, man, because I'm just gonna
Stretch out again in the little field of
POPPIES! POPPIES! POPPIES!
OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!
Dorothy! Dorothy! Dorothy!
(SNIFFFFFFF)
DOROTHY! DOROTHY! DOROTHY!
Dorothy's been coppin' this field all to herself, man
Along came this old man in a green El Dorado II, screeched to a halt
A little short man with a big red nose
Toking a bottle of Yukon Jack
Strolled up to me and said, "Hey, son."
I said, "Old man, don't bother me. POPPIES, MMMMMMMMM!"
He said, "T-Bone!"
I said, "Wait a minute, this old man knows my name, he must be
THE WIZARD!"
He must be the Wizard
The Wizard of Oz
Why have you come to haunt me?
Oh, Wizard of Oz
I said, "Oh, Wizard, old wise one, I have been on a quest
To dream the impossible dream
Walking down the road one day, doo-dah, doo-dah
And I met these little people
We are the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids, the lollipop kids
Follow the yellow brick road
Follow, follow, follow
I got tired
POPPIES! POPPIES!
Little old man, I've been through hell!"
He said, "Hey, son, slow down, relax."
I said, "But, wizard, old wise one, I have come so far to find the truth of life!"
He says, "Hey, son, slow down, relax."
He said, "To tell you the truth, son..."
I said, "Wizard, that's what I've come to find is the truth."
He said, "No, no, no, son, you've got me all wrong. Heh heh
To tell you the truth, son...uh...how can I tell you this? Uh...
I've been in this field of poppies a long time myself, and I've come to find, son, that the only truth in life is right here in this bottle."
I said, "Wizard!"
He said, "No, truly, son. In fact, I'd rather have this bottle in front of me than A FRONTAL LOBOTOMY!"
How profound, Wizard!
Some girl with psychic power, she said, "T-Bone, what's your sign?"
I blink and answer, "Neon!" I thought I'd blow her mind
She's reading Moby Dick by some fruitcake named Herman
She's chomping on a knockwurst, was the duchess really German?
You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose?
Is this really Butte, Montana, or just existential blues?
Really Butte, Montana?
Is this Plato's heebie-jeebies?
Is this schizoid paranoia?
La-la-la-la-la-la-la, existential blu-uu-uuuuu-ues!

[Wrangler]

A Ferret dressed in a Bartender outfit stage "That was the boss!  In his rendition of whatever calling that song.  Lets give it up for him or ELSE"

He then pointing back forth to the entrance of some hired retired Elemental Warriors clenching their hands as the crowd sudden breaks into authenticate applause.

[truetanker]

* Truetanker's C3i chimes in

Ra-ra, Rasputin
Lover of the Russian queen
There was a cat that really was gone
Ra ra Rasputin
Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on


Oops... thought I had that turned to internal, not external.

( Report! )
( Yeah, move it forward. )
( I'm busy right now. )
* Truetanker covers his mouth and whispers...
( I said I'll talk later! )

Sheesh... give Devin Stone a tidbit and he'll steal a mile...

What are you looking at... this conversation is over!

TT

[The Mighty ACHOO]

It might seem crazy, wearing stripes with plaid
I Instagram every meal I've had
All my used liquor bottles are on display
We can go to see a show but I'll make you pay

(because I'm tacky)
Wear my belt with suspenders and sandals with my socks
(because I'm tacky)
Got some new glitter Uggs and lovely pink-sequined Crocs
(because I'm tacky)
Never let you forget some favor I did for you
(because I'm tacky)
If you're okay with that, you might just be tacky, too

I meet some chick, ask her this and that
Like 'Are you pregnant girl, or just really fat?' (what?)
Well, now I'm dropping names almost constantly
That's what Kanye West keeps telling me, here's why

(because I'm tacky)
Wear my Ed Hardy shirt with fluorescent orange pants
(because I'm tacky)
Got my new resumé it's printed in Comic Sans
(because I'm tacky)
Think it's fun threatening waiters with a bad Yelp review
(because I'm tacky)
If you think that's just fine, then you're probably tacky, too

Bring me shame, can't nothing
Bring me shame, I never know why
Bring me shame, can't nothing
Bring me shame, I said (tell you now)
Bring me shame, can't nothing
Bring me shame, it's pointless to try
Bring me shame, can't nothing
Bring me shame, I said

(because I'm tacky)
43 bumper stickers and a "YOLO" license plate
(because I'm tacky)
Bring along my coupon book whenever I'm on a date
(because I'm tacky)
Practice my twerking moves in line at the DMV
(because I'm tacky)
Took the whole bowl of restaurant mints. Hey, it said they're free
(because I'm tacky)
I get drunk at the bank
And take off my shirt, at least
(because I'm tacky)
I would live-tweet a funeral, take selfies with the deceased
(because I'm tacky)
If I'm bit by a zombie, I'm probably not telling you
(because I'm tacky)
If you don't think that's bad, guess what, then you're tacky, too!

[Wrangler]

[As Achoo drone his music for his latest cover album.  Wrangler counts his blessing that the Bunny of Blake people have not infected him again.]

[BirdofPrey]

I sure hope Achoo doesn't expect anyone to actually buy his album.

You folks want me to flashbang the place?  Bad singing isn't a problem if you can't hear anymore.

[Wrangler]

Be my guess.  I'm no infantry man.

[truetanker]

* Secret camera in Achoo's bathroom catching him singing.


And now to blank your mind from said horrors!



What was that ~ Truetanker said.

* Buys a round of beer for everyone, doesn't know why either, neither do they as they slurp in silence until consumed.

TT

[The Mighty ACHOO]

Oh, we sailed down from Alaska on our way to Puget Sound,
The skipper went aloft, he said he'd take a look around.
When he came down, his face looked like he'd smelled an awful smell,
And then he called all hands on deck and we all heard him yell:

"Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?
Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?
I'll knock him for a loop, that silly nincompoop,
Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?"

Then old second mate Kit Hornson says, "What is this scuttlebutt?
I think that I'll go up and look, just for the halibut."
But he came down and said, "Boys, this will be a smelly trip,
Unless we find that halibut, we'd better burn the ship.

Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?
Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?
My nose tells me it's there, but I've looked everywhere,
Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?"

Then the cook said to the captain, "Sir, before I make the soup,
If you have no objection, I'll go snoop around the poop."
The cook was pale when he came down, he headed for his bunk,
He says, "I never knew a fish could outperform a skunk."

"Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?
Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?
The whole darn crew was weak from this game of hide and seek,
Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?"

Then up stepped Knute Knutsen, he is tougher than a boot,
He says, "I'll find that halibut, or my name ain't Knute."
And fifteen minutes later he had found where it was stored,
And twenty seagulls fainted when he threw it overboard.

Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?
Who hid the halibut on the poop deck?
We never never knew, what screwball in the crew
Who had hid the halibut on the poop deck.

[The Mighty ACHOO]

WOW! I almost forgot where I parked this thing!

[Sharpnel]

It was about to  be impounded.

[Wrangler]

Man, I hate to see the fees he had to pay for the impounding.

[The Mighty ACHOO]

It wasn't impounded ............................ technically. I just swapped Clangluna for Achooluna while a sort of raid on the local authorities that just somehow was timed well for me just happened to distract attention at the right time.    They still haven't noticed that the toxic waste site that is Clangluna maaaaaaaaaaay be on a collision course with their planet ..............................

[BirdofPrey]

It was about to  be impounded.

Dang, I was hoping to pick it up at auction too

It wasn't impounded ............................ technically. I just swapped Clangluna for Achooluna while a sort of raid on the local authorities that just somehow was timed well for me just happened to distract attention at the right time.    They still haven't noticed that the toxic waste site that is Clangluna maaaaaaaaaaay be on a collision course with their planet ..............................

You just can't get rid of Clang-o-Corp junk; it lingers like a bad stench.  Clang would be proud

[The Mighty ACHOO]

He would probably be proud, annoyed and amused and dodging warrant and lawsuit servers like a boss.   :thumbsup:

[truetanker]

He would probably be proud, annoyed and amused and dodging warrant and lawsuit servers like a boss.   :thumbsup:

While eating a green olive or three...

TT

[Wrangler]

<<Holovid Flash News REPORT -  Pacifica Prima has experienced catastrophic event which accrued today, as the wandering moon/world known as Achooluna, (some minor reports suggest it maybe named Clangluna) has collided!  Destroying both planet and moon,. The debris field from the collision has begun multi-millennium reforming into singular world.  No reports of casualties on Achooluna, Pacifica Prima authorities could not be reach due to a planet landing on their heads.  In other news, shares of Clang-o-Corp has risen, having seen interest in their product thanks to the collision.)>>

[The Mighty ACHOO]

Oops    ^-^ ^-^ 8) ::) :-X :-X :thumbsup:

[Wrangler]

[Further Reports roll across the barely working Holovid projector showing graphic details fiery demise of the "Achooluna", Fritz, distant and possibly strange cousin of Wombat sneaks around the bar borrowing random change from people's pockets and helping himself to the causal patron's drink.] 

HEY! Where Rum Runner!?! Bartender, can you get me another?

[The Mighty ACHOO]

We don't usually serve cocktails. Rum yes, jackasses yes, coctails no.

[BirdofPrey]

What did the cocktails ever do to you?

[The Mighty ACHOO]

The purity of the alcohol has been disturbed and corrupted. It is alcohol abuse almost as bad as spilling the drink.

[Wrangler]

Apparently something took mine.  Soo there someone running around with rum.

[The Mighty ACHOO]

Hmmmm ........ we do have rum runner flasks for those who want to sneak rum into someplace where having rum in not allowed ........  would some of them do?

[truetanker]

I prefer high octane'd ethanol please...

TT

[The Mighty ACHOO]

Leaded or unleaded?