November 29th, 2011
Helmand, Afghanistan
Forward Operating Base Victor-4
Eugene sat on the foot of his CWS-1, one leg hanging off the CWS-1, his neurohelmet on his lap, his right hand drumming a nameless rhythm on the helmet. A prime hauler slowly drove by, on it O'Brien's CWS, with its scorched head. Eugene turned his head slowly to follow the massive truck as it trundled past.
A Sergeant walked up to Eugene: "Lieutenant, they are ready for you in the debrief."
Eugene turned to look at the Sergeant. A few seconds passed as the stare continued. The Sergeant started to fidget. "Guess I better not keep the waiting eh Sergeant?" The question was entirely rhetorical. The Lieutenant had hopped off the foot and headed towards the debriefing room before the Sergeant could answer.
*
A few hours later Eugene was sitting in the canteen, listlessly moving his dinner around the plate. Eugene was pretty sure by now his food was cold, but he couldn't really be bothered to check.
A voice invaded Eugene's solitude: "Mind if I join you Lieutenant?"
Eugene looked up and saw an officer in the desert digital BDU he himself wore. On his collars were the silver bars of First Lieutenant, a rolled red beret was tucked into the shoulder strap, and his name tag read Ortega.
"You are more than welcome Lieutenant." Eugene indicated the open seat across from him. "I'm afraid I may not be the best company at the moment." Ortega nodded his head in thanks.
"I was sorry to hear about O'Brien, its never easy losing a comrade."
A flash of anger ran through Eugene: "What do you know of losing a comrade?"
Ortega just smiled sadly: "Too much I'm afraid, I was at Antarctica."
Eugene's anger was replaced with embarrassment: "I'm deeply sorry, please accept my apologies!"
Ortega made a calming gesture with his hands "There's nothing to forgive Lieutenant, and please call me Miles" and he offered his hand to Eugene across the table. Eugene took the offered handshake.
"Thank you Miles. Eugene. Pleased to meet you."
"And you too Eugene." Miles then proceeded to assault his food with great gusto and determination. Miles looked up embarrassed "I've been in the field for a few weeks, and this is the first hot food I've had in awhile!"
Eugene smiled: "No please, don't let my poor mood keep you for your dinner."
In a surprisingly short span of time Miles had demolished the contents of his tray of food and leaned back contentedly in his chair. "You know, none of what happened to O'Brien is your responsibility"
A frown returned to Eugene's face "So they keep telling, not entirely sure I believe the higher-ups, or you. No offence meant of course."
Miles shook his head sadly "That feeling won't go away for some time. We keep reliving those moments over and over again. And it can drive us mad if we let it." Miles paused for a moment and looked away into the distance "But it doesn't change the fact that if O'Brien had followed his training he probably wouldn't have done what he had done. And he would probably have survived. Some of us just aren't meant to be soldiers. All the training in the world can't instil in us the temperament to be killers. To face our enemy head on and emerge as the survivors. Of course they don't tell you that when they recruit us. And they try to train and drill into each of us the skills we need to survive. But sometimes we don't cut it. And sometimes even the best of us just get unlucky."
Miles stood up from the table and picked up his empty tray. "And I know you will continue to beat yourself up about this for a long time. Just as I did after Antarctica. If any of what happened was your fault the higher-ups wouldn't be shipping you to Munich with me and a bunch us mudslingers." Miles gestured to the building around them: "This is all a side-show, trust me. There is a much bigger, more important game afoot. And if you were as bad at what you did as you think you are, they wouldn't be entrusting you with what is to come."
Mile's cryptic response was puzzling to Eugene, how was what was happening in Afghanistan the side-show? Before he could ask the Lieutenant what he was talking about he was already marching off with nothing but a jaunty wave over his shoulder as a good-bye.