Originally the article was supposed to be about the Eyleuka, which per the spellchecker in Google Docs, is actually correct despite the fact that the spelling was done by letting my dog roll his face upon the keyboard. Also, the edit check for this week was right before I hit post. Something about post con plague combined with an ear infection made giggles a very fun person to be around this week.
I write better when the ‘Mech is total crap, which the aforementioned is not, so I decided to write something that is more amusing than factual.
Awesome. Catapult. Trebuchet. Dragon. Archer. Atlas. These are powerful, evocing names for ‘Mechs, with good references to what the design does, or the visual aesthetic it goes for. The Assassin was named for the power socket that someone on the design team someone decided to test with a fork.
Per the fluff of 3025, Maltex, had pitched the design as a replacement for the Wasp and Stinger (Reasonable goals that) It managed to accomplish this through many classic military sales pitches throughout history. Overinflated performance stats, fuzzy math that would make Quikscell standards compliant and a arseload of bribery. After production was approved (Mostly I suspect as a method to make Maltex go away) a few hundred were produced before the two factories were pretty much given a work stoppage due to poor quality control. Somehow, it proved popular with the SLDF Militia and FWLM forces as a reconnaissance ‘Mech, which is fair, and a light ‘Mech hunter-killer, which I presume means “Killing bugs”, because with an armor spread pretty close to that of a Commando and a very anemic firepower loadout. Of note, if you’re a larger Mechwarrior, this is the ride to hate. The whole corner cutting process noted above means that the cockpit is made like crap. Apparently even after 400 years they still can’t lumbar support in the drivers seat, as the entry makes pains to mention bad backs. It also mentions that the SRM2 feed suffers from issues with failure under high heat situations that will require a complete mechanical rebuild of the launcher assembly. Due to this, Maltex strongly suggests not swimming in magma for extended periods of time.
Speed wise, this thing is quite swift, with a VOX280 hustling this thing along with a 7/11/7 spread, and the jets located in the torsos. This engine is guaranteed through Vox, and Maltex should not be contacted in regards to any odd radiation issues.
Looking at the armor load, we have something that will make a Hussar pilot comfortable in his skin. 4.5 tons, spread across with 8 on the head, 12/4 split on the center torso, sides with 10/2 arms with 6 and legs with 10, so a little over 60% if my napkin math is correct. I realize you’re generally fast enough to avoid being hit in the back, but if you do, torso hits are probably almost certainly going internal. If you fall and get that 4 on the direction chart, locations 6 and 8 are going internal no matter what. Also, that's where the ammo is stored as well. Maltex strongly suggests not falling on sharp rocks for safety reasons.
Moving onto the primary version featured in the holy tome/telephone book of 3039, the weapons loadout. If you’re accustomed to driving a 1A Wasp, you’ll feel right at home! The right arm features everyone’s favorite weapon, the medium laster while a SRM2 is in the left torso. Wasp pilots are reminded that it can be fired when you plan on kicking someone! In the right torso you have an LRM5, which I presume is there so you have something to do/make yourself feel better when you’re inexorably closing with someone. The weapons loadout is generally pretty schizo, but your best bet is to try to get behind someone with your SRM and ML and poke people in the rear and hope they aren’t too terribly offended and bring the firepower they have to bear on you, as you will probably be down a limb or two after this.
Also mentioned in 3039 is the -101 model, which shaves off an already low half ton of armor, and two jump jets, one mounted in the head and one in each leg. Maltex would like to say that this is not a factory legal configuration and they are not liable for anything that happens to these machines.
Moving along to the 3050’s upgrades, where the design becomes from a combat perspective, even more baffling. Hellspont produces this one, where they remove the cranky SRM2 rack and its associated ammo, and replace it with adding an Artemis pod for the LRM5 and swapping the medium laser for its pulse cousin. The best way to use this ‘I think Hellspont was bucking for some capital money to start designing on the Sha Yu and Men Shen myself, but that’s a different story. Hellespont Industries would like to remind the citizenry that the -23 is a superior machine to the trash that was manufactured by House Davion and you would do well to remember it.
Moving on to the model 30 produced by Defiance of Hesperus swaps out the VOX 280 for a Light engine of the same rating. The structure has also been changed out, now being an Endo-Steel composite, advertised as same strength, half the calories! Two more toms of armor were added to bring it to a very respectable 6.5 tons, and the heatsinks were changed out to doubles. The medium laser from the 21 is now a ER Medium. The eclectic mix of missile weaponry is now even more bizarre, an LBX-5, being fed by a single ton of ammo, presumably cluster rounds. Using this against a ‘mech isn't a great idea...smart users will either go crit out some tanks at distance, or use that birdgun to swat down things flying overhead. BattleMechs should generally be ignored unless you need to critseek them. Defiance Corporation is not responsible for your ego when you fail to annoy anything more heavily armored than a Hussar in one shot.
Model 99 is probably the best of the bunch, but we’re setting a low bar here. Manufactured by Hellespont out of Sian, it uses an XL engine to free up scads of tonnage, the armor is brought up to about 95% overall. It’ll pass the smartplacement test for what its worth. The armor, of note is Stealth, and has the requisite Guardian ECM unit. The laser in the right arm has been replaced with a Light PPC, thus giving it some long range punch at a reasonable tonnage cost. An SRM2 is mounted in each side torso with the ammo (UnCASED though) in the left torso, but it is well crit-packed at least. In the left arm, giving those of us with feelings of what can be described as “Stabbity” something to do in dark alleys and 7-11’s. Its only a 5 point sword, but its the thought that counts. Using this one is easy. LPPC until you can safely get in range, add SRM’s to suit, stab when you can. Hellespont is not responsible for your ego being deflated when someone reminds you a 3025 Shadow Hawk still puts out more damage than you do using tech from 3067.
Servitor was driven by some random mad butler in the FCCW based on the name. It is a unique variant that served as the base for the 99. The twin SRM’s are still there, but the light PPC is now a Medium X-Pulse laser, with a pair of Small X-Pulses in the leg. The sword is replaced by a small Vibroblade. It plays very similar to the 99, but even more in close and backstabby
So there you have it. The Assassin. A ‘Mech that isn’t very assassinney. Unless its to your ego...
Now I'm going to sleep for three days.