Author Topic: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed (Read 215382 times)

Wombat · « **Reply #270 on:** 17 June 2011, 11:40:05 »

[Achoo suddently finds himself embedded in the ceiling as the ACMEâ„¢ ambulance driven by inept weasel parametics drive up through the drainpipe of Achoo's "throne" and into the the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar. Two parametics jump out to begin scooping up Wombat while the third paramedic does donuts on the oriental rug (then again, it could just be a few random orientals that made the mistake of eating in this establishment.]

Parametic #2: "Looks like someone blew up Wombat again."
Parametic #1: "I tell ya, we're not getting paid enough for this job."
Parametic #2: "...your getting paid?"
Parametic #1: "Figuratively."
Tom Cruise: "I swear this is the worst community service ever."
Parametic #1: "Shut up, Jerry Maguire and start shoveling."
Parametic #2: "Think anyone will notice if I do the water scene from Flashdance in the middle of the Salohma Club after we scoop Wombat up?"
Parametic #1: "Hey, its improv...we might even get paid time-and-a-half for it."
Parametic #2: "Score."
Tom Cruise: "You guys are the worst paramedics I've ever served community service with."
Parametic #1: "Shut up Cruise...and put some pants on. Honestly, who wears a long-sleeved shirt with tighty-whiteys and sunglasses anyway?"
Parametic #2: "Very unprofessional if you ask me."
Tom Cruise: "...it was part of my community service agreement! Next time I'm telling my lawyer no cartoon judges!"
Parametic #2: "Yap-yap-yap. More shoveling, less yapping."

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #271 on:** 17 June 2011, 18:58:44 »

[Somewhere high overhead a screaming, smoldering, slightly blowed up Siberian Sabertoothed Skwerl is on the way down from being blowed up to nearl orbital heights. He is falling so hard and fast that his dopplered scream arrives right after he crashes through the roof to squarely demolish the ACME ambulance. Shortly afterwards Wombat, Tom Cruise, and the Parametics (should have been Pathetics, as the correct spelling is Paramedics. Sheesh, the "t" is note even adjacent to the "d") wake up in the Green Room of Hell.]

Parametic #1: What happened?
Parametic #2: I don't know.
Tom Cruise: Again?
Parametic #1: Again? What again, you whinner.
Tom Cruise: Back in hell, again.
Wombat: Ohhhhh, skittles!
Parametic #2: Skittles? Oh boy! Skittles!
Tom Cruise: Somehow I doubt those are skittles.
Parametic #1: Why do you doubt, you whinny yappity yapper?
Tom Cruise: Because they came out of his head!
Parametic #1: So? His brain is skittle powered!
Beelzebub: What in the hell is all of the yelling about in here....Wombat? Tom? What in the hell are you doing back here?
Parametic #2: How are we supposed to know? Maybe you should ask the Skwerl hidding under the couch.
Beelzebub: The Skwerl under the..........crap. All of you! Get the hell out of here!
Wombat: Oh, Hi! Hey? Why should I leave so soon? I just got here?
Beelzebub: BEGONE!
[With a firey flash Wombat, the Parametics [ >:( ], Tom, and one more that slightly confused Siberian Sabertoothed Skwerl find themselves in the white room of heaven.]
Archangel Gabriel: What in the hell are you all doing here?
Wombat: We're Dancing!
[Wombat rips off his Wombat suit to reveal a white Elvis-like outfit, a disco ball drops from the ceiling and begins to do the funky lighting thing disco balls do as Wombat begins singing]

My baby moves at midnightâ€”goes right on till the dawn.
My woman, takes me higher; my woman keeps me warm.

What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, aah?
What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, aah?
You should be dancing, yeah, dancing, yeah.

She's juicy and she's trouble; she gets it to me good.
My woman gives me powerâ€”goes right down to my blood.

What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, aah?
What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, aah?
You should be dancing, yeah, dancing, yeah.
What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, ooh?
What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, aah?
You should be dancing, yeah, dancing, yeah.
Archangel Gabriel: Get Out!

Wombat · « **Reply #272 on:** 17 June 2011, 19:49:39 »

"...but it played so well in Vegas."

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #273 on:** 20 June 2011, 13:53:01 »

What does Vegas have to do with Heaven?

Wombat · « **Reply #274 on:** 22 June 2011, 09:48:20 »

"Bright lights and streets paved in gold?"

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #275 on:** 23 June 2011, 08:26:06 »

Well, the lights are bright in Vegas. I grant you that. But streets paved with gold? Would not last long. The greed of the inhabitants would lead to unpaved roads very quickly. More like paved with good intentions. That's Vegas.

PurpleDragon · « **Reply #276 on:** 23 June 2011, 08:34:26 »

good intentions? "Let's seperate them from their livelihoods". Those good intentions?

Wombat · « **Reply #277 on:** 24 June 2011, 08:23:46 »

[Wombat, in the meantime, is busily trying to drill the gold fillings out of PurpleDragon's mouth.]

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #278 on:** 24 June 2011, 20:33:41 »

Originally Los Vegas was of good intentions. Than gambling arrived. So much for the good intentions.

Wombat · « **Reply #279 on:** 05 July 2011, 07:38:29 »

**attempts to lick off Achoo's socks**

SethsMatches · « **Reply #280 on:** 05 July 2011, 07:41:44 »

*watches wombat succeed*

PurpleDragon · « **Reply #281 on:** 05 July 2011, 16:21:51 »

[laughs/cries the whole time holding his claw over his mouth and pointing at Achoo's feet]

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #282 on:** 05 July 2011, 18:10:08 »

*grabs PurpleDragon, skins hin, and makes dragon skinned boots*

Well...........they are purple.................kinda Mariky looking.

PurpleDragon · « **Reply #283 on:** 05 July 2011, 18:13:05 »

[Hits Achoo with a Wombat then picks up his "boots" and puts them back on]

What? Womat's the one licking, err, huggging, err... uh what's that wombat doing to you? Eeeewwwwww!

[walks away]

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #284 on:** 07 July 2011, 22:56:05 »

Come back you cowardly winged gecko!

Wombat · « **Reply #285 on:** 20 July 2011, 09:58:40 »

[Wombat shrugs and just goes with it and proceeds to hump Achoo's leg raw.]

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #286 on:** 20 July 2011, 10:34:31 »

[Achoo cuts his own leg off and hops offscene]

Curse you Samurai Wombat!

Wombat · « **Reply #287 on:** 20 July 2011, 11:33:16 »

[Wombat shrugs and takes Achoo's legs in the back for some "alone time".]

captainjohn · « **Reply #288 on:** 20 July 2011, 23:57:08 »

seeing the discord. Captainjohn slowly backs away from the Wombat. and takes Wombat proventative measures. Removes his pants.

Wombat · « **Reply #289 on:** 21 July 2011, 07:44:54 »

[CaptainJohn's pants screams like a insane gopher and runs out the door.]

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #290 on:** 22 July 2011, 09:29:33 »

captainjohn! You fool! Wombat does not just steal pants for the wallets! It makes it easier for him to hump your leg! (And Wombat like the.............never mind. The Horror! The Horror!

Wombat · « **Reply #291 on:** 22 July 2011, 09:33:22 »

[CaptainJohn's legs scream and run out the door, hail a taxi, and drive off the airport. CaptainJohn is left a paraplegic in the middle of the floor.]

"...I suppose I could hump his arms, but its just not the same."

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #292 on:** 23 July 2011, 08:29:38 »

I may just become a disembodied voice floating around, but than again maybe not. Wombat would still probably find a way to.................ewww!

SethsMatches · « **Reply #293 on:** 23 July 2011, 11:16:59 »

Must. Wash. Out. Brain...

It's not working!

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #294 on:** 24 July 2011, 00:22:50 »

You just need more pressure for the cranial mind flush. 550 or 600 psi should do the trick. O0

SethsMatches · « **Reply #295 on:** 24 July 2011, 12:49:47 »

There is only one thing to say to that...

"MORE POWER IGOR!

RAISE THE LIGHTNING CONDUCTOR!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My Brain washing machine is... ALIVE!"

Wombat · « **Reply #296 on:** 26 July 2011, 07:16:35 »

[Wombat adds some bleach, three static-cling sheets, and an alligator...just to be certain.]

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #297 on:** 26 July 2011, 09:02:18 »

[There is a loud snapping sound as the alligator clomps his jaws of Wombat's little nub of a tail.]

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #298 on:** 17 August 2011, 18:10:02 »

~begins collecting bets on how long it takes for the Alligator to end up as leather goods~

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #299 on:** 22 August 2011, 23:24:52 »

A really long time, apparently. Wobmat appears to have gone.......well, just gone.

Did the gator eat him? That would be a really bad thing.

For the gator............