SNARL!: The Den of Clan Homoerotic Panther

[Peacemaker]

I thought what with the new forum and all, it would be good time to make a thread dedicated to everyone's favorite fake faction. Now, let's get to work on a certain XTRO. Does anyone have any of those designs saved or are we going to have to start all over again?

Stay classy fellas. THIS IS HAPPENING.

[3rdCrucisLancers]

THIS. IS. HAPPENING.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Oh hell yes it is.

The 70-ton Popobawa will strike fear and other things in to men.

[3rdCrucisLancers]

You're not pulling a single punch, are you, Vash?

I almost re-regged as my favorite complainer up north's username.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Have I ever pulled punches? I think not.

[3rdCrucisLancers]

Have I ever pulled punches? I think not.

You never did answer my question about the guy with the A C Rodgers avatar on SA.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Oh, nah. Civil War Rodgers is a meme among Packer fans who are also internet nerds, due to his many beards.

I only really visit let's play! Anyway. There is a BattleTech LP just starting up.

[3rdCrucisLancers]

Oh, nah. Civil War Rodgers is a meme among Packer fans who are also internet nerds, due to his many beards.

I only really visit let's play! Anyway. There is a BattleTech LP just starting up.

I lurk in e/n, for the schadenfruende. Prior to that, Helldump.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Shockingly, SA's WoW board is probably the most reasonable one I've ever seen.

[3rdCrucisLancers]

Shockingly, SA's WoW board is probably the most reasonable one I've ever seen.

Never played WoW, though my brother is pretty into it. Were you serious about going to GenCon?

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

It is a strong possibility, again depending on what the lineup is at that time for product.

[3rdCrucisLancers]

It is a strong possibility, again depending on what the lineup is at that time for product.

Well, if so, let me know, I may have a space for you if you need a room.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

When is it, by the way?

[3rdCrucisLancers]

When is it, by the way?

August 4-7.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

I can probably swing the hell out of that.

[ShadowRaven]

For your continued flying pleasures FLTADM and my pet project, THEBAN

Code: [Select]

                    AeroTech 2 Vessel Technical Readout
                                  VALIDATED

Class/Model/Name:  Theban
Tech:              Clan / 3067
Vessel Type:       Aerospace Fighter
Rules:             Level 2, Standard design
Rules Set:         AeroTech2

Mass:              35 tons
Power Plant:       245 XL Fusion
Safe Thrust:       9
Maximum Thrust:    14
Armor Type:        Ferro-aluminum
Armament:         
    1 Large Pulse Laser
    1 Streak SRM 4
    2 ER Medium Laser
    1 Small Pulse Laser
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
==Overview:==
Warriors,Do you have a 35 ton Fighter like me, No. But Can you, Yes. Now Look
at your Touman,Now back at ME,Now back at your Touman,Now Back at ME. I am
Sculped from a solid block of Ferro-Aluminium. I Am armed with the finest in
Clan lasers and Missles that Streak through the skies. Everything wants to
hang on my racks. DIVE BOMB.My powerful Engines Trust at 7Gs. Don't pass out
now.Iam Agile and Graceful,Yet Strong and Hard, I am THEBAN. This
Demonstration is now DIAMONDS

==Notable Vessels & Crews:==
Isaiah Mustafa. Voted Holi-Hunk for Star League Day 3071, '72, '73 and '74.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Class/Model/Name:  Theban
Mass:              35 tons

Equipment:                                                              Mass
Power Plant:  245 XL Fusion                                              6.00
Thrust:  Safe Thrust: 9
      Maximum Thrust: 14
Structural Integrity: 9                                                   .00
Total Heat Sinks:    12 Double                                           2.00
Fuel:                                                                    4.00
Cockpit & Attitude Thrusters:                                            3.00
Armor Type:  Ferro-aluminum  (154 total armor pts)                       8.00
                           Standard Scale Armor Pts
   Location:                            L / R
   Nose:                                 53
   Left/Right Wings:                  38/38
   Aft:                                  25

Weapons and Equipment      Loc        SRV    MRV    LRV    ERV  Heat    Mass
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1 Large Pulse Laser        Nose        10     10     10     --   10      6.00
1 Streak SRM 4             Nose         8      8     --     --    3      2.00
  Ammo (Streak 4) 25       ---                                           1.00
1 ER Medium Laser          RW           7      7     --     --    5      1.00
1 ER Medium Laser          LW           7      7     --     --    5      1.00
1 Small Pulse Laser        Aft          3     --     --     --    2      1.00
1 C.A.S.E. Equipment       Body                                           .00
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
TOTALS:                                                    Heat: 25     35.00
Tons Left:                                                                .00

Calculated Factors:
Total Cost:        4,535,285 C-Bills
Battle Value:      1,737
Cost per BV:       2,610.99
Weapon Value:      1,830 (Ratio = 1.05)
Damage Factors:    SRV = 32;  MRV = 24;  LRV = 5;  ERV = 0
BattleForce2:      MP: 9,  Armor/Structure: 4 / 0
                   Damage PB/M/L: 3/3/1,  Overheat: 0
                   Class: FL;  Point Value: 17


[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Keep it simple. Keep it sexy. Keep it PANTHER.

Right on.

[Youngblood]

The sarcasm contained in this thread's title is making my nipples hard with satisfaction.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

There is no sarcasm here. Only MANLY SWEAT.

[Trajan Helmer]

==Overview:==
Warriors,Do you have a 35 ton Fighter like me, No. But Can you, Yes. Now Look
at your Touman,Now back at ME,Now back at your Touman,Now Back at ME. I am
Sculped from a solid block of Ferro-Aluminium. I Am armed with the finest in
Clan lasers and Missles that Streak through the skies. Everything wants to
hang on my racks. DIVE BOMB.My powerful Engines Trust at 7Gs. Don't pass out
now.Iam Agile and Graceful,Yet Strong and Hard, I am THEBAN. This
Demonstration is now DIAMONDS

I think you win the thread, ShadowRaven.

[Youngblood]

Fear us, dark furry manly men, for we are Clan Defecating Parakeet and we besmirch your name with the beheading of your totem beast.

[3rdCrucisLancers]

That has got to be the weirdest looking parakeet I've ever seen.

[Youngblood]

I blame the insanity of the anime that bird came from.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

anime

Well there's your problem right there.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Also how the damn do you put talons on something? I'm trying to have the Popobawa fly around with it's IJJs and its partial wing and then swoop down with talons, latching on before firing its CT-mounted plasma cannon at the enemy.

Keep in mind I have no idea what most of the stuff in experimental tech does. I just assume talons let you grab shit. If not don't correct me.

[Peacemaker]

Now I don't actually "play the game", I'm not up to snuff on "experimental" tech and whatnot, but since this is an absurd fan project, I don't see the why rules should be adhered to at all.

[3rdCrucisLancers]

Now I don't actually "play the game", I'm not up to snuff on "experimental" tech and whatnot, but since this is an absurd fan project, I don't see the why rules should be adhered to at all.

That strikes me as the appropriate mindset to go into this with, yes.

[ShadowRaven]

I think you win the thread, ShadowRaven.

I will only take partial credit on that, my brother FltAdm had the idea, I just helped piece it all together


Peacemaker, is that Clan Homoerotic Panther's dress uniform in your avatar?

[Peacemaker]

Clan Homoerotic Panther dress uniform is just a tub of Vaseline.

[ShadowRaven]

Ah good. Because I really do not look good in orange.

[Lanceman]

I blame the insanity of the anime that bird came from.

And what would that be? Because I need to see more of that bird.

[DoctorMonkey]

Dammit, I can't remember what I was designing: wasn't it called the Sexually Ambiguous Penguin? I can't remember what weight class etc I was going for though  :(

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

I think the preferred weapons of CHP should be the Plasma Cannon and Infernos. You gotta make the enemy sweat.

[ShadowRaven]

mmm glorious man sweat 8)

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

"The time for talk is over! The rest will be decided... by SWEAT!"

[ShadowRaven]

Oh good, for a moment there I thought you where going to say blood, and I hate the site of blood, especially if it's my own

[Youngblood]

I blame the insanity of the anime that bird came from.

And what would that be? Because I need to see more of that bird.

It's from ToraDora!.  Not a bad high school RomCom if you only have enough tolerance for just one.

[deathfrombeyond]

What is a "BattleTech LP"?

[fltadm]

Would LP not be Life Partner

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Well, in the context of this thread, it would seem so.

[ShadowRaven]

Battletech Life Partner....I think that would be alright

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Almost had one of those once.

Thank god I got outta that relationship before hint became demand.

[ShadowRaven]

well that's when a DFA becomes the apropriate course of action, is it not?

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Since you didn't know this girl, there's no way you could know the kind of catastrophe that would touch off. But trust me, it would be. I did not need to be reinforcing her preconceptions.

[fltadm]

Girl. This is the wrong thred for girls.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

It's a universal life experience, yo. Plus, it's just a homoEROTIC Panther.

[ShadowRaven]

Well, now that that's settled. What's next on the CHEP list of things to be done to spred it's glory to the wider universe?

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

1- Declare all other Clans non-Canon and relegate them to the Non-Canon Units board

[Col.Hengist]

1) steal underpants
2) ????
3) get rich

[ShadowRaven]

1- Declare all other Clans non-Canon and relegate them to the Non-Canon Units board

not sure this goes with part one of the motto. Sexy yes, simple, not so much.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

How is that not simple? We come in, say "Suck on this, bitches: you're no longer canon" and then they cry all the way there.

[Doug Glendower]

3CL: Will Clan Homoerotic Panther's overthetop manlyness face off against the milquetoast legions of Clan Noun Animal?

[ShadowRaven]

Because, some of them will go all "says you, dumbass" and get all snarky, and others will through temper tantrums, and at lease one group will sit there and argue amongst themselves as to which half isn't canon and which half is.

[deathfrombeyond]

How is that not simple? We come in, say "Suck on this, bitches: you're no longer canon" and then they cry all the way there.

Is this before or after the "Clan HEP Occupation Zone Post Magnet thread!!!111!!!!" is setup on the Clan Chatterweb?

[3rdCrucisLancers]

Is this before or after the "Clan HEP Occupation Zone Post Magnet thread!!!111!!!!" is setup on the Clan Chatterweb?

You know that the name change feature is soon to go away, right? I'd switch back now.

[Joskney]

ESPECIALLY since using someone else's name is an autoban feature.  Posting using another person’s username with or without their permission. This can result in both parties being banned.

[ShadowRaven]

oooh, and the last thing we need is for our glorious clan to be so thoroughly tainted with such a reputation. It would be worse then that one time, when those guys did that...well you know what I'm talking about.

[3rdCrucisLancers]

ESPECIALLY since using someone else's name is an autoban feature.  Posting using another person’s username with or without their permission. This can result in both parties being banned.

BOTH parties, you say? In some cases, I can conceive of some hero taking a bullet for the greater good...THE GREATER GOOD

[Doug Glendower]

It is creepy, though.

[Joskney]

But does DFB really want the same punishment as whom he protrays??? 

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Want it, no. Warrant it? Like... 65% of the time.

[3rdCrucisLancers]

But does DFB really want the same punishment as whom he protrays???

He's a bit of a masochist.

[ShadowRaven]

Word on the street is he has a bit of a leather fetish too. So maybe more then 65% of the time

what? just trying to be helpful here

[fltadm]

Brings a whole new meaning to the tearm "Bondsman"

[ShadowRaven]

 [whipit]

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

That was a pretty good DFB impression earlier, though.

[Malich]

Ok ladies, this may be the hall but the personal comments are getting a little too barbed for some people. So how about we :-

1) Quit it
2) Move along
3) ???
4) Profit?

[Youngblood]

Will you allow this topic to continue?  If so, what comments are we actually allowed to make here? ;D

[ShadowRaven]

Comments on the glory of Clan Homoerotic Panther of course.  You know, like how our plan of conquest through Old Spice is comeing along nicely

[Doug Glendower]

Operation Deal With It?

[Malich]

Will you allow this topic to continue?  If so, what comments are we actually allowed to make here? ;D

If I'd wanted it locked down you'd not have been able to post that comment. as to what to post... this is the hall. Go feed the Wombat, Drop and Anvil. Ask Daedster for a disguise wombat suit... I think mine is still lurking round here somewhere.

[Doug Glendower]

Wacky, not petty. C'mon, look at the topic...

[ShadowRaven]

Warriors, does you clan look like me? No, Can it smell like me? Yes. With new Old Spice scented Harjel, every critical hit can now be critically acclaimed.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Behold, the glory of Clan Homoerotic Panther's premier cavalry mech... the POPOBAWA!

Code: [Select]

Popobawa

Mass: 70 tons
Tech Base: Clan
Chassis Config: Biped
Rules Level: Experimental Tech
Era: Clan Invasion
Tech Rating/Era Availability: F/X-X-F
Production Year: 3070
Cost: 16,709,073 C-Bills
Battle Value: 2,313

Chassis: Unknown Endo-Steel
Power Plant: Unknown 280 Fusion XL Engine
Walking Speed: 43.0 km/h
Maximum Speed: 64.5 km/h
Jump Jets: Unknown
    Jump Capacity: 180 meters (210 meters)
Armor: Unknown Standard Armor
Armament:
    2  Imp. Hvy Large Lasers
    1  Plasma Cannon
    3  ER Small Pulse Lasers
    1  Talons
Manufacturer: Unknown
    Primary Factory: Unknown
Communications System: Unknown
Targeting and Tracking System: Unknown

Overview:
The premier cavalry mech of Clan Homoerotic Panther, the Popobawa is named for
a Tanzanian folk monster you probably shouldn't try to learn anything more
about. Its extended jump capabilities make it a highly maneuverable and
dangerous foe that can pounce upon any nearby foe and pin it down with its
talons.


Capabilities:
Built around a combination of Improved Jump Jets, a partial wing, and talons,
the Popobawa's favored tactic is to circle in the air until finding a target,
and then swooping down upon it. Once it has struck with its talons and pinned
the enemy down, it opens fire with its center torso-mounted plasma cannon
repeatedly, only stopping to demand that the enemy pilot "tell all your friends
about this." In addition, to showcase the technological superiority of Clan
Homoerotic Panther, the Popobawa mounts three devastating small pulse lasers...
WITH EXTENDED RANGE. Additionally, two arm-mounted Improved Large Heavy Lasers
were added while under the impression that they were actually EXTENDED RANGE
Large Heavy Lasers, and really nobody was willing to remove them.


Battle History:
Battle history is widely available, due to the Popobawa pilot code of demanding
defeated enemy pilots tell all their friends lest you come back after them.
Just go out and ask some people, eventually you'll find someone who will HAVE
to tell you.


Deployment:
One of Clan Homoerotic Panther's favorite Mechs, the Popobawa is jealously
guarded by them, and any Trials of Possession must by law be settled in a
Battle of Manly Dignity.


The design is most prevalent in more agile units like the 69th Roughrider
Cluster, the 69th Phalanx Cluster, the 69th Stalker Cluster, and the 11th
Striker.


Notable 'Mechs & MechWarriors:
Khan Andrew Alexa-


The Khan of Clan Homoerotic Panther is a staunch traditionalist, refusing to
ever remove his ceremonial mustache or coating of vegetable oil. He has piloted
a Popobawa for almost ever (several years) and claims to have invented most
modern tactics for it.


================================================================================
Equipment           Type                         Rating                   Mass 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Internal Structure: Endo-Steel                   107 points                3.50
    Internal Locations: 1 CT, 3 LA, 3 RA
Engine:             XL Engine                    280                       8.00
    Walking MP: 4
    Running MP: 6
    Jumping MP: 6 (7)  (Improved)
    Jump Jet Locations: 3 LT, 3 RT                                        12.00
Heat Sinks:         Double                       13(29)                    3.00
    Heat Sink Locations: 1 LA, 1 RA
Gyro:               Standard Gyro                                          3.00
Cockpit:            Standard                                               3.00
    Actuators:      L: SH+UA+LA+H    R: SH+UA+LA+H
Armor:              Standard Armor               AV - 216                 13.50
    CASE Locations: LA, RA                                                 0.00

                                                      Internal       Armor     
                                                      Structure      Factor     
                                                Head     3            9         
                                        Center Torso     22           34       
                                 Center Torso (rear)                  9         
                                           L/R Torso     15           22       
                                    L/R Torso (rear)                  8         
                                             L/R Arm     11           22       
                                             L/R Leg     15           30       

================================================================================
Equipment                                 Location    Heat    Critical    Mass 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Imp. Hvy Large Laser                         RA        18        3         4.00
Imp. Hvy Large Laser                         LA        18        3         4.00
ER Small Pulse Laser                         RT        3         1         1.50
ER Small Pulse Laser                         LT        3         1         1.50
Partial Wing                                 LT/RT     -         3/3       3.50
Plasma Cannon                                CT        7         1         3.00
ER Small Pulse Laser                         HD        3         1         1.50
Talons                                       LL/RL     -         2/2       5.00
                                            Free Critical Slots: 0

BattleForce Statistics
MV      S (+0)  M (+2)  L (+4)  E (+6)   Wt.   Ov   Armor:      7    Points: 23
4/7j       3       3       0       0      3     2   Structure:  4
Special Abilities: MEL, ENE, HT1, SRCH, EEE, ES, SOA

[ShadowRaven]

I think the clans foes will forever have nightmares about that thing.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Also I built it without knowing what most of its weapons do.

[ShadowRaven]

Also I built it without knowing what most of its weapons do.

sounds about right

[DoctorMonkey]

Also I built it without knowing what most of its weapons do.

We refer to that as "giving the 'Mech personality"

Now what weight class should the Sexually Ambiguous Penguin be? and Omni or conventional 'Mech? I'm thinking Omni so it can "go both ways"

[ShadowRaven]

Definatley dshould be flexible

[GBscientist]

There is a problem with the Popobawa's design: The Plasma Cannon has no ammunition.

[deathfrombeyond]

There is a problem with the Popobawa's design: The Plasma Cannon has no ammunition.

You say that as though Homoerotic Panthers NEED ammunition.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

There is a problem with the Popobawa's design: The Plasma Cannon has no ammunition.

It is a special OS design. After firing the machine can simply roll on to it's side and power down.

[Peacemaker]

Ammunition is a cowardly Spheroid tactic anyway.

[Caesar Steiner for Archon]

Also complicated, violating Rule 1.

[fltadm]

Here is a traing video for our young.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkd5dJIVjgM&NR=1&feature=fvwp

[Doug Glendower]

Ow.

[ShadowRaven]

Grover failed his sexy check