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Author Topic: Interoffice memo  (Read 3143 times)

3rdCrucisLancers

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Interoffice memo
« on: 30 January 2013, 07:39:13 »
So one of the many hats I wear at my workplace is chair of our "Happiness Committee", which means I'm in charge of all the office parties and whatnot we have. I firmly believe that, since it's voluntary and unpaid, I should make the most of it whenever possible, so my memos to our office are pretty surreal. My friend Kat Burdick is a stand-up comic, and she decided to do a spoken-word version of my most recent one. I hope you find it at least a minor distraction on the road to the grave: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ridRCQy-s9A

I hasten to add that yes, I really sent this.
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GRUD

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #1 on: 30 January 2013, 09:48:56 »
How about a "Transcript" for those of us with dial-up that are "Youtube Challenged"?   ???    ;D
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Arkansas Warrior

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #2 on: 30 January 2013, 10:24:12 »
Nice.
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3rdCrucisLancers

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #3 on: 30 January 2013, 10:38:09 »
Quote from: GRUD on 30 January 2013, 09:48:56
How about a "Transcript" for those of us with dial-up that are "Youtube Challenged"?   ???    ;D

As we navigate through the erratic weather of this winter season, wondering what might next befall us (ninety-degrees-Celsius heatwave? A glacier rolling down Lake Shore Drive?), it becomes increasingly vital to take our minds off the hideous and unknowable future, instead focusing it firmly on the glorious and transitory present.

So try this on for size: on Thursday the Seventh of February, we’ll be cleaning up the sixteenth floor like Chuck Bronson cleaned up the Bronx. Oh yes. If you have a shelf in the supply room: clean it. Your desk: clean it. Your home: I’m sure it’s spotless. But if not! Clean it.

But you’re a product of the modern age. You read The Fountainhead for that essay contest in high school. You know what’s what. So what’s in it for you? Well friend, only the greatest gift one human being can give another – no, not unconditional love, but something even more precious: pizza. And not just any pizza, but pizza from Lou Malnatis, which is to ordinary pizza what Louis XIV was to an ordinary Frenchman: Le Roi-Soleil of pizzas!

So roll up those sleeves. Put on that bib. Get ready. Get set.

As always, this is brought to you by the Happiness Committee. Smile: we’re monitoring your dreams.
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Weirdo

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #4 on: 30 January 2013, 10:50:32 »
You are my hero.
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StCptMara

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #5 on: 30 January 2013, 10:54:27 »
Wow...that is AWESOME! I wish my work would send out memo's like that!
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Ajax_Wolf

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #6 on: 30 January 2013, 10:56:31 »
Is there bacon on that pie?
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TS_Hawk

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #7 on: 30 January 2013, 12:07:26 »
that was funny
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ShadowRaven

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #8 on: 30 January 2013, 13:34:18 »
I would expect nothing less from a group known as "The Happiness Committee" Especially the "we're monitoring your dreams" bit at the end. Way to add to workplace paranoia my good sir
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Hersh67

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #9 on: 30 January 2013, 21:35:59 »
My only complaint is that even with my speakers turned up, I couldn't hear it all.  Thanks for the transcript! 

BTW, as a youth, did you play Paranoia?
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3rdCrucisLancers

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #10 on: 30 January 2013, 21:49:14 »
Quote from: Hersh67 on 30 January 2013, 21:35:59
BTW, as a youth, did you play Paranoia?

No, although of course I was aware of it.
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Stormlion1

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #11 on: 30 January 2013, 22:32:22 »
Sounds like something my work would do, but with sinister intentions and standing over you with whips. Then lie about the Pizza.
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worktroll

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #12 on: 31 January 2013, 03:09:35 »
Quote from: StCptMara on 30 January 2013, 10:54:27
Wow...that is AWESOME! I wish my work would send out memo's like that!

You should see the job description I wrote for the position of Sexual Harrassment Coordinator. Only got spiked at the last hurdle before being posted to the intranet. The position was for someone to be responsible for all cases of sexual harrassment at Aussie Post headquarters ...
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fltadm

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #13 on: 31 January 2013, 04:09:05 »
You where looking for some one whos job it was to say:

" Hi I'm Bruce. I am the person here at Australian Postal Corporation that is responsable for Sexualy Harrassing You."
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GreenDragon

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #14 on: 31 January 2013, 04:24:21 »
That was a delicious looking pizza.  Makes the Little Caesers leftovers waiting on me look like rubber.
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GRUD

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #15 on: 31 January 2013, 06:11:47 »
Quote from: fltadm on 31 January 2013, 04:09:05
You where looking for some one whos job it was to say:

" Hi I'm Bruce. I am the person here at Australian Postal Corporation that is responsable for Sexualy Harrassing You."


And they had to say it to men or women.  Equal Opportunity you know.  :D
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To me, Repros are 100% Wrong, and there's NO  room for me to give ground on this subject. I'm not just an Immovable Object on this, I'm THE Immovable Object. 3D Prints are just 3D Repros.

Something to bear in Mind. Defending the BT IP is Frowned upon here.

Remember: Humor is NOT Tolerated here. Have a Nice Day!

Hey! Can't a guy get any Privacy around here!

jeyar

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #16 on: 31 January 2013, 07:51:22 »
Quote from: 3rdCrucisLancers on 30 January 2013, 07:39:13

Well, I have to say that I showed this to someone to work that was having a "non-great" day, and you definitely made them smile and chuckle (incredulously - but still).
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Stormcrow

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #17 on: 31 January 2013, 12:06:31 »
She read hat well. Especially the whispering of te end bit.
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mathesont

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #18 on: 31 January 2013, 12:13:55 »
Love the memo.  Creativity like that and use of proper language skills would be grounds for investigation in my office.
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ShadowRaven

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Re: Interoffice memo
« Reply #19 on: 31 January 2013, 13:42:06 »
Quote from: fltadm on 31 January 2013, 04:09:05
You where looking for some one whos job it was to say:

" Hi I'm Bruce. I am the person here at Australian Postal Corporation that is responsable for Sexualy Harrassing You."

"Now, If you would just step into my office, we can begin"
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We are Clan Snow Raven. Masters of the void, and reapers of your souls

befriend (v.): to use mecha-class beam weaponry to inflict grievous bodily harm on a target in the process of proving the validity of your belief system.
— From a post on rpg.net
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