Author Topic: The Curmudgeonly Dank and Unpleasantly Moist Underground Lair of Achoo (Read 140860 times)

pensiveswetness · « **Reply #720 on:** 13 February 2013, 11:25:36 »

Quote from: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 February 2013, 10:19:06

Using it for blackmail are you? ::)

profit, i think... but this sort loops up the logic, rather like profitting from underwear...

Wombat · « **Reply #721 on:** 13 February 2013, 11:39:19 »

"Too late. I already sold them."

[Achoo, MoparMessiah, ShadowRaven, and Pensiveswetness all notice that Wombat has (most likely under cover of stinking green cloud) stolen their underwear and sold them on the black market. Curiously enough, Wombat seems to have boughten them from himself, and had them shipped to himself in vacuum-sealed baggies.]

"...to preserve the freshness!" >:D

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #722 on:** 13 February 2013, 12:33:48 »

After last night's sauna work out, I hope you double bagged mine, or the 'freshness' might begin melting it's way out

Wombat · « **Reply #723 on:** 13 February 2013, 15:32:24 »

[Wombat's marsupial suit gags a few times, unzips itself, and runs off....leaving Wombat naked (and still handcuffed to Pensiveswetness).]

truetanker · « **Reply #724 on:** 13 February 2013, 20:01:30 »

HAHA!

Points to runaway suit! My Lung Implants allow me to survive that gas cloud. And now I think I'll give wombat a Raisin Oatmeal Walnut Chocolate Chip Chunk Macadamia Nut Cookie. With Sprinkles! For free.

TT

pensiveswetness · « **Reply #725 on:** 13 February 2013, 20:17:43 »

How can i still be in handcuffs. I ended up casting reduce, not teleport... good thing gas rises normally

truetanker · « **Reply #726 on:** 13 February 2013, 20:32:34 »

Magic dose not work well against Toonnomics.

TT

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #727 on:** 14 February 2013, 00:11:20 »

(This is a CBT site, not a Magic site. We don't support that addiction around here.)

(As for what Achoo is doing right now.......) #P

Gustav Kuriga · « **Reply #728 on:** 14 February 2013, 02:56:05 »

*looks around, nibbles on his fennec tail, flattens his fennec ears, then gets distracted by a shiny object*

Wombat · « **Reply #729 on:** 14 February 2013, 07:04:20 »

[Wombat's empty marsupial suit waddles up to Gustav and zips itself around him.]

Gustav Kuriga · « **Reply #730 on:** 14 February 2013, 13:22:52 »

*yelps and bites and nibbles and sleeps and murfs before falling down a flight of stairs, up two escalators, down the Niagara falls, onto a spoon that flicked an olive up in the air. This olive knocked over a domino that pushed a pencil forward which popped a balloon, scaring the cat into clawing off a guy's face. The guy who had his face clawed off sued Rube Goldberg for damages and put out of business his overly complex machine company.*

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #731 on:** 14 February 2013, 13:33:34 »

This is why you don't spook the furries.

*BoP throws a slightly mangled wombat arm at Wombat*
Oh by the way, the lab is done with this.
*BoP pushes a button and Wombat's BoP Industries Discount Economy Unpowered Arm Substitute explodes*

Wombat · « **Reply #732 on:** 14 February 2013, 15:01:48 »

"...but I just discovered it had the butt-scratch 3000 attachment on it!"

[Wombat looks down at his bleeding stump.]

"Oh smeg."

[Wombat's widdle eyes turn about three times over, like a messed-up slots machine, before coming to rest. Lemon...lemon...cherry...crosses. Both his eyes turn into little X's and he keels over on the floor. Almost immediately the tell-tale sign of an ACME™ ambulance burst through the wall, running Achoo over (twice) and stops on top of Wombat. Three inept ACME™ weasel paramedics leap out of the vehicle.]

ACME™ weasel paramedic #4: "...hey, we got the call, but where's Wombat?"
ACME™ weasel paramedic #72: "Perhaps it was a drill?"
ACME™ weasel paramedic #1399: "Did someone say drill?"

[One of the ACME™ weasel paramedic pulls a DeWalt fusion-powered hammerdrill out of the back of the ambulance and begins drilling into the supports of the building with it.]

ACME™ weasel paramedic #4: "Okay, so we have exactly 11 seconds before the building comes down. That leaves us five seconds to find Wombat, throw him in the meatwagon, and another six seconds to raid the refrigerator of this establishment and leave before the roof comes down."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #1399:: "...what if we want to make queso?"
ACME™ weasel paramedic #72: "Its not really a party without queso."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #4: "You make a good point. We have to keep our priorities. Okay. Forget Wombat. Lets concentrate on raiding the refrigerator and making queso. Did you bring the chips, #1399?"
ACME™ weasel paramedic #1399: (sheepishly) "...no. I think I accidently sewed them inside the patient during emergency surgery on our last call."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #4: "Probably for the best. Those were ACME™ chips and have a tendancy to explode."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #72: "Well that explains my upset stomach and backache from my mid-morning nap earlier."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #1399: "True, but we also took out your kidneys when you were sleeping."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #72: "Hey, we all need all the practice with surgery we can get."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #4: "Right then. No chips, no queso. The new plan is now the old plan, which was the original plan. Find Wombat, raid the refrigerator, and leave before the ceiling falls in. "

[The three inept ACME™ weasel paramedics high-four each other, and proceed to scoop Wombat up with a shovel (after running him over at least twice more) and then proceed to smash through another wall, after running over BirdofPrey on their way out the door.]

*beep*
*beep*

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #733 on:** 14 February 2013, 20:22:11 »

*BoP makes a satisfying crunch as the paramedics run him over.*
*5 minutes later, another BoP arrives wearing a very nice coat; he feeds the old BoP into the Mister Fusion*

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #734 on:** 14 February 2013, 22:43:44 »

pensiveswetness · « **Reply #735 on:** 15 February 2013, 00:10:14 »

*watching all this happen on the TV*

Hey, Milliebutt! Come over here! This is the part of the show that gets good! [watch] Pass the popcorn, will ya?

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #736 on:** 15 February 2013, 00:20:30 »

*A BoP Industries Matter Transference Device materializes next to pensivesweetness and teleports everybody in a 20 foot radius to the Lair*
There's no escape for you now
There is howver escape for me
*BoP teleports out before the ceiling caves in*

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #737 on:** 15 February 2013, 01:15:26 »

aww man, another cave in? shal we retreat down to the next sub-floor lair?

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #738 on:** 15 February 2013, 01:37:47 »

Tell Wombat to use a different ambulance service.

pensiveswetness · « **Reply #739 on:** 15 February 2013, 02:07:42 »

didnt we already establish that teleport doesnt work into or outto the lair?

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #740 on:** 15 February 2013, 02:19:36 »

Know, we said magic doesn't work vs toon logic.
That's why I borrowed some stuff from the Jetsons.

Wombat · « **Reply #741 on:** 15 February 2013, 07:23:13 »

[Wombat waddles back in a few hours later with a certificate announcing he has been given a clean bill of health and that the bill for the clean bill of health was paid for with Achoo's credit card.]

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #742 on:** 15 February 2013, 16:53:56 »

Why is it wet wombat? Don't you know bills are dry clean only?

MoparMessiah · « **Reply #743 on:** 15 February 2013, 22:35:02 »

I don't wear underwear ^-^

Wombat · « **Reply #744 on:** 16 February 2013, 08:30:36 »

[Wombat dresses MoparMessiah up in Wombat's underwear.]

Gustav Kuriga · « **Reply #745 on:** 16 February 2013, 11:12:19 »

ewwww....

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #746 on:** 16 February 2013, 13:07:14 »

At this time the subfloor beneath the collapsed ceiling gives way and collapses into the subsubfloor, which itself happily collapses into the subsubsubfloor. At this point the building above the lair, now lacking a bit of sctructural support, collapses into the hole.

Above Achoo uses a bulldozer to fill in the hole, fills it with fresh wet concrete to finish filling the hole in and drives off to his new not so unpleasantly moist underground lair. He sits on his throne, begins reading the paper and waits for the others to dig their way out and show up here.

It probably won't take long.

Wombat · « **Reply #747 on:** 16 February 2013, 14:07:37 »

"Man...this escape hole is really dark, and wet. And who put Achoo's butt on top of this escape hatch, blocking our path?"

*poke*
*poke*

MoparMessiah · « **Reply #748 on:** 16 February 2013, 14:39:47 »

Quote from: Wombat on 16 February 2013, 08:30:36

[Wombat dresses MoparMessiah up in Wombat's underwear.]

But you don't wear underwear either :o

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #749 on:** 16 February 2013, 17:38:15 »

*BoP teleports into the new lair*
Lucky for me, I was gone before the ceiling came down.