Start with a wire brush. Hand powered if you have to, but something on an angle grinder would be best.
Then hit it with a product called
POR-15. It comes in brush on or spray.
It says you don't need to remove the rust... Remove as much as you can. What makes rust so bad in steel and iron, is that the iron oxides that form tend to have greater volume than the base metal, leading to loose, flaking chips. If you just seal the rust up, it will continue to rust for a while. As more rust forms, it can expand and when that happens, it can break the seal of the paint, letting in more moisture.
As to matching the existing? It's a crap shoot. There are tricks you can use with a rattle can to hid the transition, but it's kinda hard to describe.
Unfortunately, now that the rust is there, it's virtually impossible to get rid of. You'll always be chasing this.
Sorry.