It's worth noting that there is actually varying etiquette on whether or not custom mechs are allowed. For campaign play, where there are rules for the time/effort/cost of customizing a mech, it's very common.
For pickup games where you're playing with BV2 balancing, the generally accepted standard is that you're using canon mech variants. Similar if you're generating forces off Random Assignment Tables, etc. If you want to bring custom mechs to such a game it should be agreed with ahead of time that customizing is on the table. One of the issues with using custom mechs for pickup games is that the holes in BV2 balancing are pretty glaringly obvious, and as soon as you go down the route of customization you can end up with a lot of people fielding mechs that look very similar.