Author Topic: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread. (Read 144595 times)

Hersh67 · « **Reply #450 on:** 22 October 2012, 20:41:56 »

Why not just use a pillow laced with whatever the target is allergic to?

Falchion · « **Reply #451 on:** 26 October 2012, 17:56:08 »

I cannot use a marathon as a cover for an assassination attempt again.

Falchion · « **Reply #452 on:** 27 December 2012, 11:23:04 »

I cannot use weaponized mutagens in order to reestablish the law during a planet-wide rebellion.

Fallen_Raven · « **Reply #453 on:** 27 December 2012, 20:18:24 »

I cannot get my players to follow a lead for love or money. As a result, I can't use my Christmas themed adventure in which the must retrieve the magic orb from the evil wizard "Jack of the North" and bring it to the noble paladin Nickoluas.

nerd · « **Reply #454 on:** 28 December 2012, 21:24:33 »

Quote from: Fallen_Raven on 27 December 2012, 20:18:24

I cannot get my players to follow a lead for love or money. As a result, I can't use my Christmas themed adventure in which the must retrieve the magic orb from the evil wizard "Jack of the North" and bring it to the noble paladin Nickoluas.

Should be a Cleric.

St. Nick was a bishop. 8)

While from a narrative point of view it might short circuit the whole adventure, killing the Grand Vizier is not always a smart thing to do.

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire · « **Reply #455 on:** 28 December 2012, 23:28:54 »

I'm no longer allowed to base RPG campaigns off Mastodon albums.

Fallen_Raven · « **Reply #456 on:** 28 December 2012, 23:54:21 »

I cannot keep a flavorful and beloved character safe from the PCs by divine intervention via dire bear attack more than three times in one session.

StCptMara · « **Reply #457 on:** 29 December 2012, 01:20:04 »

Quote from: Fallen_Raven on 28 December 2012, 23:54:21

I cannot keep a flavorful and beloved character safe from the PCs by divine intervention via dire bear attack more than three times in one session.

If the PCs are attacking the NPC, then they are not beloved, and deserve whatever fate befalls them...
Or, are you afraid said character will TPK the PC's?

Fallen_Raven · « **Reply #458 on:** 29 December 2012, 01:29:33 »

Quote from: StCptMara on 29 December 2012, 01:20:04

If the PCs are attacking the NPC, then they are not beloved, and deserve whatever fate befalls them...
Or, are you afraid said character will TPK the PC's?

Actually, the character in question is another PC. And the death certificate will list "death by dumbass companions trying to pick a fight with a lich". The dire bear is just a distraction, and a none to subtle hint that they are outclassed.

StCptMara · « **Reply #459 on:** 29 December 2012, 03:16:24 »

Quote from: Fallen_Raven on 29 December 2012, 01:29:33

Actually, the character in question is another PC. And the death certificate will list "death by dumbass companions trying to pick a fight with a lich". The dire bear is just a distraction, and a none to subtle hint that they are outclassed.

Seriously? So....have you tried the Head of Vecna with this group yet? (I have had players fall for that...
BTW..)

I am no longer allowed to test a group of player's intelligence by either having them have to deal with a Gazebo,
or by tempting them with the Head of Vecna...

Falchion · « **Reply #460 on:** 30 December 2012, 10:34:02 »

I cannot leave a box of Timbiqui Dark around, especially when it's a mislabeled box of grenade, white phosphorus, bursting.

Falchion · « **Reply #461 on:** 08 January 2013, 14:25:00 »

I cannot base a Magistracy ambassador on Eddie Cantor. Come to think of it, I'm no longer allowed to use Cantor as a basis for any characters now.

Falchion · « **Reply #462 on:** 09 January 2013, 19:14:59 »

The Manei Domini are resting their eyes, not sleeping.

Fallen_Raven · « **Reply #463 on:** 09 January 2013, 19:16:48 »

I am not allowed to combine the rules for Genecaste modifications, Manie Domini implants, and the Tarrasque.

Falchion · « **Reply #464 on:** 04 March 2013, 09:52:11 »

House paint works great when you need to taint someone's Pepto supply.

Fallen_Raven · « **Reply #465 on:** 16 March 2013, 19:29:08 »

"Nuke it from orbit" is an effective solution for many of lifes problems. A clogged toilet is not one of them.

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire · « **Reply #466 on:** 16 March 2013, 20:05:11 »

If you believe that, you ain't seen some of the bathrooms I have.

nerd · « **Reply #467 on:** 17 March 2013, 11:42:10 »

Quote from: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 16 March 2013, 20:05:11

If you believe that, you ain't seen some of the bathrooms I have.

Just use napalm. It doesn't have the radiation issues.

Falchion · « **Reply #468 on:** 03 April 2013, 00:59:51 »

As it turns out, FedSuns officers and harpoons do not mix well.

StCptMara · « **Reply #469 on:** 03 April 2013, 01:49:58 »

Quote from: Falchion on 03 April 2013, 00:59:51

As it turns out, FedSuns officers and harpoons do not mix well.

Yeah...that works better with Lyrans.

Falchion · « **Reply #470 on:** 03 April 2013, 14:02:19 »

When I throw everything and the kitchen sink at the enemy, this typically does not mean I am allowed to make the kitchen sink rocket-assisted.

GreekFire · « **Reply #471 on:** 03 April 2013, 14:08:19 »

Quoting Duke Nukem at the Kuritan Liason officer is no longer allowed.

Falchion · « **Reply #472 on:** 04 April 2013, 10:08:50 »

Terms like "A can of worms" are sayings, not actual items like a "jar of scorpions" or "bottle of white phosphorus" and should still not be thrown at surrendering Marian officers.

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #473 on:** 04 April 2013, 10:31:05 »

Directing artillery fire at an ally should not be considered, or termed, "friendly fire" if it was not an accident. Just sayin'

GreekFire · « **Reply #474 on:** 04 April 2013, 10:32:13 »

Yelling "I have the power!!" during a Trial of Position is frowned upon.
Yelling "There can only be one!!" during a Trial of Position is frowned upon.
Yelling "Aye, the quickening empowers me!!" during a Trial of position is frowned upon.
Trying to look up more quotes from Highlander during a Trial of position is frowned upon.
Blasting E-Type's "Campione 2000" over Skype in protest is frowned upon, and will result in your fellow cadet trying to kill you.

Fallen_Raven · « **Reply #475 on:** 05 April 2013, 01:25:38 »

The similarities between the new service conduct regulations and my own service record are not coincidental. In light of this my legal concil suggests that a court martial is not the place to explain how the generals daughter got on the Dropship in the first place.

Falchion · « **Reply #476 on:** 06 April 2013, 05:40:59 »

"Vacation" does not mean "the Ares Conventions do not apply."

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire · « **Reply #477 on:** 06 April 2013, 15:01:53 »

I am no longer allowed to see how many times I can work the word "bong" into a situation report.

Dakkagor · « **Reply #478 on:** 09 April 2013, 08:59:14 »

*If you want a large pulse laser for opening canned goods, you need to fill out the proper requisition forms.

*Even if you properly fill out the requisition forms, you are not allowed to turn a military grade laser into a glorified tin opener.

Falchion · « **Reply #479 on:** 11 June 2013, 00:41:58 »

I cannot claim that my CO was eaten by a vampire. Even if I dispose of his boots in the woodchipper as well.