To whomever it may concern:
Please accept my abject apologies for my dog's arse of a first attempt at posting this!
I've never tried to post something as code before, and I doubt I'll ever try to do it again. To make things worse, I typed it out and then posted it in a real hurry without checking it over first, because I was trying to squeeze it in before a bunch of other stuff I had to get done as well.
I will not be so slapdash again!