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Author Topic: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.  (Read 145021 times)

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #210 on: 22 May 2012, 23:25:19 »
I cannot set up shop in a whipped cream factory "because it has all the tools I need."
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #211 on: 22 May 2012, 23:42:19 »
I cannot replace my strategic planning office with a Magic 8-Ball.
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #212 on: 23 May 2012, 00:14:13 »
I cannot use "Kepi Blanc" as a character's theme.
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nerd

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #213 on: 23 May 2012, 19:26:50 »
Quote from: Falchion on 23 May 2012, 00:14:13
I cannot use "Kepi Blanc" as a character's theme.
Then how are you supposed to properly staff a mercenary unit?
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Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #214 on: 23 May 2012, 19:37:56 »
The Long Tom is not to be used as an instrument for the percussion parts of the 1812 Overture.


On a related note, the 1812 Overture is apparently not an acceptable substitute for reveille.
Especially when the XO has a "slight" hangover.
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Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #215 on: 23 May 2012, 19:42:01 »
Artillery Operators (especially Long Tom Operators) are no longer to refer to Mechs as canned SPAM (Spare Parts, Ammunition,Mechwarrior).
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #216 on: 23 May 2012, 19:44:29 »
The correct response to an order to release the hostages is not "Come up here and make me pretty boy!"
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Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #217 on: 23 May 2012, 19:48:39 »
Just because a warrior is willing to die does not mean he wants to die.
Apparently painting your Long Tom in M.A.S.H. unit colors with a red cross and claiming the artillery is "long-range assisted suicide" is NOT permissable under the articles of war.
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Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #218 on: 23 May 2012, 19:52:42 »
Apparently it is "against regulations" to have the artillery loaders paint the rounds yellow and refer to them as "lemons".

In a related note, I need some guys from the motor pool to help me remove the three foot high letters spelling "LIFE" from my Long Tom.
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Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #219 on: 23 May 2012, 19:55:30 »
Artillery Operators hacking into the mech com system and yelling "EJECT!! EJECT!!" is frowned upon during training exercises.

Doubly-so during live round training.

Absolutely unacceptable during actual engagments.
« Last Edit: 23 May 2012, 21:44:33 by Chervil »
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Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #220 on: 23 May 2012, 20:13:50 »
Artillery Operators are not to bribe the techs in the motor pool into painting the mechs in the XOs lance to look like they are wearing pink bunny slippers.
Or wellies.
Or mittens.
Or fuzzy hats.
Or moustaches.
Or diapers.
Especially not diapers.
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Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #221 on: 23 May 2012, 20:15:47 »
Apparently it is frowned upon to use the Long Tom for "waste removal" after latrine duty for ignoring or inspiring previous regulation ammendments/addendums.

Especially when the "waste" canisters in question are lobbed toward the enemy encampment.

No matter how appropriate it may seem at the time.

Which was about 3 in the morning....
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Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #222 on: 23 May 2012, 20:23:32 »
For some reason, it is unacceptable for Artillery Operators to refer to Dropships as "pinatas" and the contents as "candy".

It is also unacceptable to request a blindfold when firing at the "pinatas" because "otherwise it is cheating".
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Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #223 on: 23 May 2012, 20:25:18 »
 During war game exercises, Artillery Operators may no longer refer to targetting the XO as "Pinning the Tail on the Donkey".

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MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #224 on: 23 May 2012, 20:57:26 »
Dude, there's an edit button for your posts.
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StCptMara

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #225 on: 23 May 2012, 21:29:22 »
*takes note from Chervil* So...

I take it you a) like artillery and b) REALLY like Long Toms and c) You are either in Falchion's group, or your group is
as crazy as Falchion's...
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #226 on: 23 May 2012, 21:32:29 »
I cannot send my enemies "The Gift of Septicemia."
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StCptMara

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #227 on: 23 May 2012, 21:37:19 »
Quote from: Falchion on 23 May 2012, 21:32:29
I cannot send my enemies "The Gift of Septicemia."

Well..you can..especially if you are Scientist Conspiracy...
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"Victory or Debt!"- The Battlecry of Mercenaries everywhere

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Quote from: Cergorach on 01 August 2011, 13:27:59
Reality and Battletech go hand in hand like a drug induced hallucination and engineering a fusion reactor ;-)

Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #228 on: 23 May 2012, 22:44:29 »
Quote from: StCptMara on 23 May 2012, 21:29:22
*takes note from Chervil* So...

I take it you a) like artillery and b) REALLY like Long Toms and c) You are either in Falchion's group, or your group is
as crazy as Falchion's...

Actually, I do indeed like artillery.
When I played the WK MW I was very deadly with it, especially the Long Tom and the Padilla.
Don't know Falchion and unfortunately no one around me plays (yet) but I have always been just a little crazy anyway...
I can do crazy all by myself!  :D

On a side note, I am no longer allowed to refer to Clan Members as "Exam Potatoes" in reference to their being "test tubers".
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Deathrider6

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #229 on: 23 May 2012, 23:30:21 »
Just a note. If you have more that one "Do Not" it is acceptable to combine them in to one post. It is highly recommended that you do.
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Chervil

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #230 on: 24 May 2012, 02:15:22 »
Quote from: Deathrider6 on 23 May 2012, 23:30:21
Just a note. If you have more that one "Do Not" it is acceptable to combine them in to one post. It is highly recommended that you do.

Sorry about that.
Pretty new to the boards still and wasn't sure how this particular "game" worked. :-[
I'll make sure to keep them consolidated in the future. O:-)

That being said, I am no longer allowed to insist my artillery piece be referred to as Thomas because "when they're this big, they don't like being called Tom anymore..."

VTOLs are not to be referred to as "clay pigeons" and artillery spotters are not to yell "pull" every time one passes.
Also, FRIENDLY VTOLS are not viable targets, despite my spotter having yelled "pull".
On a related note, I am no longer to train my spotter to yell "pull" every time he sees a VTOL.

Apparently adding loose glitter to the artillery ammo is "frowned upon" even though it makes things more festive.

Ranging shots are no longer to be referred to as "free samples".

Announcing the position of my artillery unit to the enemy by writing "Come Get Some!" in sandbags, large rocks or pine cones is against regulations.

Despite the civilian symbolism, in the military XO does not refer to hugs and kisses and new recruits are not to be told that the Executive Officer is called the XO because he is such a lovable guy.

I am no longer allowed to haze new recruits by telling them they have to qualify on the Short Tom before they can fire the Long Tom.
Nor am I allowed to send them looking for "Short Tom Artillery" because we are "out" of the Long Tom variety...
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Weirdo

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #231 on: 24 May 2012, 07:39:10 »
...sounds like sombody's been having exactly the right amount of fun with his artillery... O0

Quote from: Chervil on 24 May 2012, 02:15:22
Apparently adding loose glitter to the artillery ammo is "frowned upon" even though it makes things more festive.

LIES!

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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #232 on: 24 May 2012, 09:31:07 »
Actually, if you load your shells with thermate, you can get the same sparkling effect with more festive fire.

I cannot exploit the fact that there are few things in the world that can stop an AP round dead.
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Weirdo

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #233 on: 24 May 2012, 09:32:26 »
Not even the elderly?
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My wife writes books
"Thanks to Megamek, I can finally play BattleTech the way it was meant to be played--pantsless!"   -Neko Bijin
"...finally, giant space panties don't seem so strange." - Whistler
"Damn you, Weirdo... Damn you for being right!" - Paul
"...I was this many years old when I found out that licking a touchscreen in excitement is a bad idea." - JadeHellbringer
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #234 on: 24 May 2012, 23:30:08 »
ESPECIALLY the elderly.

I must tone down the fan service even more now with my comic work.
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MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #235 on: 25 May 2012, 10:39:03 »
No more plans involving bees.
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #236 on: 26 May 2012, 21:37:40 »
I cannot hang my enemies by their toes to slowly dry in the sun.
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I am Belch II

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #237 on: 28 May 2012, 11:07:08 »
Will not use port-a-pottys as a form of chemical warfare no matter how cheap it is.
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The Mighty ACHOO

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #238 on: 28 May 2012, 11:23:41 »
No more sneaking laxatives into the food packs of elementals that are about to go on extended field operations. or, at least, do not get caught putting laxatives into the food packs.

Also, be careful about keeping track of the food packs you lace with laxatives so you do not get caught up in your own practical joke.
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #239 on: 28 May 2012, 12:10:09 »
I can no longer add cell stains to the coffee. The joke is funny, the quarantine not so much.
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