Author Topic: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread. (Read 145257 times)

MrJake · « **Reply #600 on:** 18 February 2014, 18:11:58 »

While I can use small, furry animals as targets in training, I can not then yell, "Squirrel!" whenever I see an officer.

wolfgar · « **Reply #601 on:** 18 February 2014, 18:23:27 »

Quote from: MrJake on 18 February 2014, 18:11:58

While I can use small, furry animals as targets in training, I can not then yell, "Squirrel!" whenever I see an officer.

Of course not, everyone knows that captain and below are chipmunks. Only majors and higher rate being squirrel.

Khymerion · « **Reply #602 on:** 19 February 2014, 15:58:52 »

I am no longer allowed to use pictures of passenger trains in India as an example as to why I should be allowed to pack more troops onto a vehicle.

Maskerade · « **Reply #603 on:** 19 February 2014, 16:47:15 »

If I am not allowed to use battle armour as ablative armour, the same also applies to standard infantry, even if I give them that half damage armour.

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire · « **Reply #604 on:** 19 February 2014, 23:05:20 »

That's just silly. If they didn't want to be taking bullets for mechwarriors, they shouldn't have joined the infantry in the first place.

MrJake · « **Reply #605 on:** 20 February 2014, 18:21:43 »

Quote from: Maskerade on 19 February 2014, 16:47:15

If I am not allowed to use battle armour as ablative armour, the same also applies to standard infantry, even if I give them that half damage armour.

If I may..."I am not allowed to refer to Battle Armor troops as ablative armor...."

Pat Payne · « **Reply #606 on:** 20 February 2014, 18:58:31 »

Even if they're working on it in real life, I can't tell my GM that I'm going to repair myomer bundles with fishing line and yarn ;D

wolfgar · « **Reply #607 on:** 22 February 2014, 09:44:23 »

I am not allowed to refer to the cleric or members pf the clergy as "God's tech support" or holy tech support.

GreenDragon · « **Reply #608 on:** 22 February 2014, 18:00:29 »

Quote from: wolfgar on 22 February 2014, 09:44:23

I am not allowed to refer to the cleric or members pf the clergy as "God's tech support" or holy tech support.

Actually, in TORG's Cyberpapcy, that is a thing.

StCptMara · « **Reply #609 on:** 02 March 2014, 10:34:37 »

When swallowed by the great Death Dragon that eats all dead souls, I will not let the priest cast ray of
sickness into the Dragon, while the other priest uses a decanter of endless water on "fire hose" setting
with the party or previous dead PCs in a Boat in a Box as they try to ride out the dragons throat...

Or, should I say, if the party DOES do that, I will not let the Dragon roll a 1 on its fortitude save to resist
the ray of sickness...

(Yes...my game group does end up having some weird and amusing stuff happen to it..but, at least it is
not as disturbing as Falchions group used to be...I miss him sharing the crazy stuff from his groups, actually)

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire · « **Reply #610 on:** 09 March 2014, 22:57:10 »

I'm not allowed to suggest that a customer would be better off if instead of contacting us for more tech support they instead went to a primate research facility to allow the monkeys to test them for any signs of intelligence.

Falchion · « **Reply #611 on:** 13 March 2014, 21:35:21 »

I cannot dangle a doctor out of a window as an excuse to the police for why I'm driving 80 in a 30 mph area.

Fallen_Raven · « **Reply #612 on:** 13 March 2014, 21:42:57 »

Relativity is not a defense for speeding.

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire · « **Reply #613 on:** 13 March 2014, 22:00:26 »

Neither is the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.

Maskerade · « **Reply #614 on:** 24 March 2014, 19:41:19 »

The correct response to being snubbed at a high society gathering is not a week of sustained orbital bombardment.

Also, when duelling with swords, I am not allowed to use a battlemech weapon.

Dakkagor · « **Reply #615 on:** 26 March 2014, 05:58:44 »

From our recent AD&D game:

The assassin is not allowed to throw his knives into an ongoing melee.

Especially if they are poisoned.

Especially if the cleric is a possible target

We are no longer allowed to refer to the level one wizard as 'ambulatory rations'

Even if the party is comprised solely of half orcs, except for him, and he's a gnome.

No longer allowed to theorize why the party of half orcs has a gnome. (current working theory is a botched kidnapping and stockholm syndrome, and thats more than we need to know)

Certainly not allowed to posit that we probably like the pack mule more than the gnome. (it has a lot in common with a half orc. . .stubborn, a half breed, sterile, kind of ugly. . .)

Cleric is no longer allowed to name the results of his turn undead spell, and then keep them as pets.

Druid is no longer allowed to destroy the results of the turn undead spell without the permission of the Cleric.

StCptMara · « **Reply #616 on:** 26 March 2014, 07:59:52 »

Taking a shortcut through the Gnome Colony on another continent's wheatfield is a BAD idea.

The effects of Gnomish Coffee on a human(Hyper-awareness, synethesia, speeding up thought process,
and wakefulness) are not a joke, no matter how funny they might be to watch. And, just because one
rogue managed to survive does not mean I can give Gnomish Coffee to another rogue. Only Gnomes
shall drink Gnomish Coffee.

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire · « **Reply #617 on:** 26 March 2014, 11:08:57 »

The party's gnome shall not be referred to as "Canary" while we're heading underground.

Maskerade · « **Reply #618 on:** 26 March 2014, 11:17:06 »

Quote from: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 26 March 2014, 11:08:57

The party's gnome shall not be referred to as "Canary" while we're heading underground.

My high-level wizard is not allowed to refer to his fireball spell as an "instant shortcut" or "doorway maker".

Also, from a recent Shadowrun4 game: Just because my demo specialist can bring down the entire skyscraper with a single well-placed explosive charge, doesn't mean he's allowed to. Also, adding a building outline to my kill tally is considered poor form.

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire · « **Reply #619 on:** 26 March 2014, 11:50:00 »

Quote from: Maskerade on 26 March 2014, 11:17:06

My high-level wizard is not allowed to refer to his fireball spell as an "instant shortcut" or "doorway maker".

Of course not. That's what Disintegrate is for.

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire · « **Reply #620 on:** 26 March 2014, 22:35:56 »

Management says that I'm supposed to ask more questions when assisting a customer so that I can get a better feel for what products and services might be best for them, but now they're saying not to.

How was I supposed to know "have you ever killed a man because he killed your goat" wasn't appropriate for someone who's trying to pick out a cell phone?

Khymerion · « **Reply #621 on:** 28 March 2014, 19:45:42 »

I have been informed that a chemistry degree does not confer the right to gas the entire building. Yes, it solved the problem of breaking into the facility and assassinating the target but TPTB do not look kindly on indiscriminate acts like this.

In addition, knowing a facility has a lock down procedure against biological contamination is not free license to recreate the opening scene of Resident Evil. No, I will not be allowed to create a zombie virus just to recreate the opening scene with the pure intention just to watch the chaos, even if this is Shadowrun and we have ghouls already... weaponization of this disease is disallowed.

In fact, no biological or chemical weapons, poisons, or toxins in general. Some things are just too cruel to inflict on others it seems in the minds of most GMs... and courts.

Fallen_Raven · « **Reply #622 on:** 28 March 2014, 20:32:38 »

The response to "your character doesn't have access to the materials to make a bomb" is not a challenge to head for the kitchen and create a prototype.

My Cleric is no longer allowed to have create a horde of undead halflings as a "proof of concept".

Time Stop does not last long enough for me to preform "surgical modifications" to an enemy's digestive track.

I am not to explain to children what my colorful euphemisms mean while in a public game shop.

Falchion · « **Reply #623 on:** 05 April 2014, 21:25:29 »

A white robe does not make you a Comstar acolyte. Not even a Comstar acolyte's robe. Not even if he gave it to you without bloodshed.

Maskerade · « **Reply #624 on:** 06 April 2014, 10:20:37 »

If the rest of the group decide to play hard-bitten mercenaries with custom battlemechs, I am not allowed to play a diplomat who solves every situation politically before mechs need to be deployed.

Fallen_Raven · « **Reply #625 on:** 06 April 2014, 20:35:50 »

The tech team has enough trouble keeping our 'mechs intact with out me requesting water wings and a pool noodle.

StCptMara · « **Reply #626 on:** 07 April 2014, 13:55:24 »

Quote from: Maskerade on 06 April 2014, 10:20:37

If the rest of the group decide to play hard-bitten mercenaries with custom battlemechs, I am not allowed to play a diplomat who solves every situation politically before mechs need to be deployed.

I did that with a Troll Face in Shadowrun....the Street Sams were both rather upset at me that they never got to
kill things when I was playing :(

Mordegald · « **Reply #627 on:** 09 April 2014, 11:24:13 »

Yes, my Commando's handle is Dodger. No, I may not give it a 'mech-scale flat cap and talk in a cockney accent while piloting it.

Khymerion · « **Reply #628 on:** 09 April 2014, 12:36:58 »

I am no longer allowed to give a sermon or overly dramatic monologue and time it with the orbital path of a warship so that I can call down the 'wrath of god' in the form of a NPPC battery strike. While this is an amazing visual effect, what with the skies being split by the beam, it is not viewed favorably by the local land owners.

wolfgar · « **Reply #629 on:** 09 April 2014, 18:22:02 »

Quote from: Khymerion on 09 April 2014, 12:36:58

I am no longer allowed to give a sermon or overly dramatic monologue and time it with the orbital path of a warship so that I can call down the 'wrath of god' in the form of a NPPC battery strike. While this is an amazing visual effect, what with the skies being split by the beam, it is not viewed favorably by the local land owners.

That is only if it is not used to stop the enemy in which case it is considered style.