Not bad, not bad at all. I'll say I think you captured the voices of Hanse and Quintus better than Jaime and Natasha, and you could have used a copy editing pass.
Natasha was a bit bland, the writing was good.
My only thought would be to try to avoid direct commentary of people (especially women) by their appearance when trying to suggest personality as you did with Natasha Kerensky
Hmm. Very interesting idea there and one that the Dragoons may not have considered all the implications of.
Do you mean the genetic pilfering, or something else?The genetic pilfering.
Not Omni but getting there, and getting them used to the idea of it...
The genetic pilfering.
After all, they may consider that they're just making warriors but this is a dynastic culture and they're also creating potential claimants...
Yes - I must admit I haven't yet found a solution to this one that doesn't totally de-rail the plot I'm going for, or doesn't smack of hand-waviumAs long as all the legitimate acknowledged heirs survive, there's no problem at all...
“Impressive,” conceded Reiter. He pulled out his own copy of the brochure. “However! The price you pay for this - this -5WD model is nearly seven million C-Bills. Almost one third more expensive. And for your information, Oberleutnant, I did go over their demo model extensively. Did you know that the power feeds to the -5WD’s Large Laser are rated to 750 percent over peak loads? That’s a ridiculous margin - if you get that much surge through the line, the whole arm will blow off anyway. It’s like that all over the design. Overengineered, overpriced.”I'm going to have to side with him on this one. A 30% cost increase (or close to it) for true omni capability is worth it. Merely easy swap outs is not. Even if you're a mercenary the money saved and the will mean that quite often you'll be able to afford more replacement/additional mechs (if you're doing well) or to actually buy replacement parts at all.(if you're doing badly) Going from zero to Omnimechs certainly isn't my expectation, but in cannon even when the Inner Sphere got Omnimechs they found the cost to benefit ratio even enough that they kept on developing non-omni Battlemechs even for their best units.
“So you’ll recommend against? Because of the cost factor?”
“Ja, and knowing you, you’ll recommend for, because now your logistics are simpler.”
“It’s different from the mercenary point of view,”
“Noted. Can you pass the cheese plate?”
“Locust, Wasp, Stinger, Griffin, Shadow Hawk, Phoenix Hawk, Thunderbolt, Archer, Warhammer, Marauder and Stalker,”That's a veritable who's who of Unseen designs.
I'm going to have to side with him on this one. A 30% cost increase (or close to it) for true omni capability is worth it. Merely easy swap outs is not. Even if you're a mercenary the money saved and the will mean that quite often you'll be able to afford more replacement/additional mechs (if you're doing well) or to actually buy replacement parts at all.(if you're doing badly) Going from zero to Omnimechs certainly isn't my expectation, but in cannon even when the Inner Sphere got Omnimechs they found the cost to benefit ratio even enough that they kept on developing non-omni Battlemechs even for their best units.
That's a veritable who's who of Unseen designs.;)
Reiter sounds like the usual LCAF dipstick.
Blackwell's idea is very good. Will make it easier to train tech's on Omni mechs later on. O0
I hope he didn't sound too much like a dipstick - after all, he survived some pretty bad fighting in the 4th succession war, but yes, he does have some of the LCAF blindspots in his thinking.
and hasn't gone Merc yet which is where the best of the Lyran Officers endup, so they escape the social general issue
He sounds like he was signed up to the classic doctrine of the Lyran Commonwealth
Nicely written, thanks
great story, well written and very interesting
Thank you. Are you finding the plot developments easy to follow?yes
But in line with published material, as I recall. Didn't a heart attack force Cranston to hand over operational command of the Irregulars to Rhonda in the FASA canon?You are correct, sir. I'm taking a presumption that in this story, Cranston passes because of his health... we'll find out, soon enough?
so it's not COMSTAR that starts O:R but the Dragoons themselves... maybe. :D
I'm waiting for the FC & Dragoons hit Terra.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO............. Dragoons will cause O:R... and the attack vector is all of DC space, completely avoiding FC worlds unless its totally unavoidable.
is it wrong that I want to read the other articles in the AMC Journal Volume III Issue 3?
Here is my attempt at one of the articles...
Oh wow :o
Never expected my fanfic to inspire other writing. Thanks.
Very well written! Thanks for sharing.
Cool story and different, but what happened to cause the daddy's to only do this change instead of really laying the dragon out.
Oh no, did West die?
I don't have any intelligent commentary but I don't want this to go unacknowledged. It's damned good and I am looking forward to seeing where this goes. Also digging on the mixed use of historical documents and conventional narration - it's an effective storytelling method here.
Station Keeping!
I don't have any intelligent commentary but I don't want this to go unacknowledged. It's damned good and I am looking forward to seeing where this goes. Also digging on the mixed use of historical documents and conventional narration - it's an effective storytelling method here.
I think they mean they're tagging the thread. I'm not a clan fan in any way, but this is interesting. Please keep up the good work!
Instead of trying come up with something intelligent myself (too full of Christmas feast food to think well), I´ll simply second the above commentary.
+3! I had forgotten this was the fanfic with Cranston getting offed in angerous methods (the initial hook for me) :D
great work. nice to see the update. so did the WD go for the full elemental suits? if they can come up with a good PA(L) that might be a good thing to sell on the open market. it also would lower the risk in losing grunts of the WD.
its your story and your AU. i just liked reading it.
But the Class 1 fighting circuit on Solaris VII was all Exoskeleton an it had been going on for a few centuries.
i understand about having to little butter for to much bread. it was your stepping stone to get used to the idea of Omnis that got me to remember it.
"Why not go for a clean sweep on members of all five royal families wanting us dead" -Jaime Wolf apparently.
Hmmm... I may have hit the LECTURE MODE button a little too hard in my original reply to you :-[. My apologies - I didn't mean to ram the bleeding obvious down your throat.
Battle Armour is going to appear in this story - there's even one Dragoon Brigade that could be argued to be the natural operator for it right now.
LOL - desperation, and possibly a touch of Clan Hubris "whaddya mean Spheroids might object to having their DNA sampled without their permission - they're just Spheroids! Geez - it's not like they're Trueborns, ya know"
More the state treason and impending death of billions, you already basically glossed over the potential line theft and future civil war hair with the legal ruling on chimeras.
And make no mistake, the only ways Jaime Wolf doesn't die at the end of this is if he dies before hand as the Dragoons get used as shock troops in every battle, or the Fed Com is so thoroughly destroyed they can't afford assassins to hound him until the end of his days in the Periphery. Pretty much any other rulers of the components of the Fed Com would have promptly put 3039 on hold, and have every member of the AMC either demonstrate their lack of complicity by combat dropping in Outreach to put every Dragoon to the sword or be purged along with them.
I'd lost track of this at some point, good to see it's still going.
A writing mentor of mine told me that my goal should be to writing something that generates a response in the reader. I seem to have done that here.
Destroying the Dragoons outright at this point is looking a gift horse in the mouth. They are bootstrapping the FC beyond what they could have expected. It would be much harder for the FC to get the information the Dragoons are freely providing from corpses and wreckage.
Does that mean the FC is happy with the genetic thefts? No, but they're willing to let it slide for now because of the larger issues. It's geopolitics and statecraft, which have always involved making deals with the metaphorical devil.
And demanding the AMC undergo a loyalty test is what the Clans would do, not the IS. In any case, they haven't received anything from the Dragoons except training - and the opportunity to see -WD and -I+ series BattleMechs. Even the DCMS received training from the Dragoons, and Dragoons instructors taught at AFFS academies. This AMC =/= canon AMC.
We are in Act II of a three-act play. I'm gratified that you are picking up on some of the issues, because this is the point in the story that they should be bubbling up.
And you are correct that there will be a price to be paid. Why do you think this story is titled "A Reckoning"?
You're hitting the tell rather than show a bit.
This isn't a matter of emotional response, it's that rulers who let their subordinates get away with secretly setting up mechanisms to build their own private armies, create their own private cliques among the armed forces, and then start wars behind their backs before presenting it as a fait accompli tend not to have their dynasty in charge for that long in historical terms. The closest historical analogy to Jaime Wolf right now is Stefan Amaris in 2765, and they only have his currently functionally worthless word that he actually always intended to confess his actions all along.
Further, they can't put any Dragoon in charge after removing him, because each and every officer down to the company level either supported his actions, or stood aside and let them happen. Only Jaime Wolf dying is the completely unrealistic Disneyified Pollyanna version of how this is likely to end, and that after glossing over the Weaponized Loki War Orphans that would be assigned to every Dragoons dropship, presuming they don't just skip straight to the implanted cranial bombs. Maybe since Hanse is such a swell guy, and Melissa is so compassionate, they would settle for hostages from every Dragoon family to be kept under guard.
I am interested in how the WD is acting as a Bootstrapping the IS to be ready for the Clans and can they be ready in time.
I'm not sure we can 100% trust them, but right now the help is need to get ready.
The Proto-Omni "Classics" are a great 1st step.
It is interesting that Jamie's plan right now seems to be sic the Clanners on Comstar and then "cleanup" bothsides
i wanted to give you an FYI, when you update an older post? it does not let any know about the change. if you could post a note that you have updated x post number that would be help full.
I did - look two posts above
man what an update.
Nice, thanks for sharing.
That was meant positively, I hope?
The irony is that Comstar is being upfront in giving the DCMS royal grade tech. It's just that the DCMS thinks the Clan-grade tech of the FedCom is what Royal tech is supposed to be. I can forsee at least two consequences of this:
- The DCMS will develop tactics against opponents wielding Clan-grade weaponry
- The Combine will distrust Comstar for providing obviously inferior technology.
It always baffled my why ComStar thought they could be so cavalier vis a vis the FedCom. States that can only lose a war generally go out of their way to avoid starting one with a state that would happily provide curb stomping services if provoked.
what about the WD factory on New Valencia?
Nice update! So will the FC get a chance to study the Comstar Sneaksuits?
Any status on double heat sinks and the compactness and mass availability thereof: this would solve so many issues if a plug-in replacement for single heat sinks were available en masse and able to produced at at least one site per PDZ/March ... 8) :drool:
Nice Update - something for everyone and everything for all. Well done! :thumbsup:
The only thing I'd quibble with was the decision to go with ER and Pulse Mediums vice Larges. Against the clans, you need every long range weapon you can get, and nothing outranges the ER Large.
can you break down a list of Star league and Clan tech they trying to field?
No regular Clan SRM launchers?
But then, since they can basically swap IS SRM launchers with Clan Streak SRM launchers of the same size, they don´t really need the standard ones.
Nice update!! I like the interaction that Deachan and Tulliver had with the local merchant. Also their observation of Katyusha city!
Please, Moar!
Nicely done, the bar scene was great. :thumbsup:
if the fedcom is having economy issues. their might be a way to help with the tech they have access to.
One.
The whole IS is short jumpships. if they could update some slips with lostech. they could pump out Merchants and Invaders class ships in the short term. I would go with smaller ships that you can get off the line fast and onto the shipping lanes help the FedCom Economy. This would help trade all threw out the FedCom. I also would start up Tramp with LFs as my "show piece". those could go to the military or set up command circuits. those would also help cargos move from major routes when not need by a unit. when war comes you have a pool of ships and some of them will be very good at raids.
Two
us your tech build up to help marginal worlds be more product and stop any drain they might have on the FedCom. a lot of those worlds need Air and Water processors. if they can add just 1% to a planet's GDP.. that is a lot of funds that can go to the FedCom budget.
Three.
I would try to use public and private funds (or maybe an old school lottery? that was how they used to built public roads) to make two or three new workmechs factories. They are great labor savers and they will also increase your possible mech pilot pool in the future. how to get them out to those who need them? why not earmark x number per quarter to be won as a..... lottery. one or two C-Bills per ticket. this would add more funds to certain projects and it gets the workmechs into working hands.
Just spit balling.
50 hours.... that is a long time for things to go sideways on you.
First, congrats on being accepted to the program! :thumbsup:
Second, if he doesn't point out the problem RIGHT NOW, he's SO screwed... :o
Fun part is to see if someone try it on Natasha... >:D xp
Hopefully he'll at least tell Natasha... she'd definitely take it up to higher authority...
Circle of equals ......
Or just an execution for lack of honor?
Of course, if he does say anything, McKibben will accuse him of cowardice.
He's very lucky he checked this before he exited the hangar. There's plenty of MechTechs in close proximity to see what the problem is.
So someone just got the Blue Screen of Death :thumbsup:
:thumbsup: Wow thats a nice update!! Will you be writing about the Black Widow's trial too?
I believe that all BTech (fan)fiction writers are contractually obligated to show off Natasha Kerensky's awesomeness at every opportunity, so yes, her trial is in the next part.
Eh, I expect she'll just use (abuse) the Extreme Range Rules and take them all out without taking any damage...
Sadly, it's taken the Zombie Apocalypses for an epic update... but ooooooh, so worth the wait.
That was a very nice story update! I'm looking forward to the next one!
Indeed, glad to see you back! :thumbsup:
*claps* 6? Six..... what is going on in the Markesan Operational Area? in 3041?
Looks to me like some early anti-ComStar (eventually to be WoB) action... ^-^
So Natasha's loadout is...ER PPC, Gauss Rifle, Large Pulse Laser, AMS, 2x SRM-4?
Hoo boy,
now that was intense, on both accounts. Great story up to now and I really like the interaction between Dechan and Natasha at the end of the latest update.
Also great work on the hidden C* world there, guess the data will be a proverbial bomb on the whole IS.
My money's on 7th Kommando… ^-^
Well done, and very amusing! :thumbsup:
Well done indeed. :thumbsup:
You always make the universe come alive, Alkemita. Excellent.
Information warfare is my job, and I could only wish for contractors that competent... :smitten:
I'd just like to note that Dechan Fraser has been one of my favorite BTU characters since I first read Wolves on the Border, and I find this treatment of him delightful.
Just one more reason I'm reading this, despite not being a fan of the clans in any way... :thumbsup:
It may have taken me two and a half years to find this, but I'm very glad I did. I'm loving your work, and I wish you so much commercial success that you have more time to pander to us BT fans! :thumbsup:
It may have taken me two and a half years to find this, but I'm very glad I did. I'm loving your work, and I wish you so much commercial success that you have more time to pander to us BT fans! :thumbsup:
I looked up from the FASA book dated 1992, Objective Raids circa 3054. Counting the captured planets by the clans it was close to 70 locations/corporation s that operated in the FC space. From electronics to dropships.
Which makes it so amazing that House Steiner was considered to be the wealthiest for so long... ::)
Well, I only asked about military production facilities. Maybe the LyrCom is chockers with consumer electronics factories
So alkemita I have to ask, on your play. How was the table reading my now 16 year old finish his winter play 2 weekends before Covid crashed on us, lost spring and summer plays.
Now, I should get back to the next part of A Reckoning...
Do we need to spot weld you to the chair, sir?
Well, if you do that, I can't go running, and if I can't go running, I can't solve story problems like the absurdly low number of factories building military hardware in the FedCom...
Nope he a theater guy, they have to be able to move to problem solve
I'm slowly learning this about them
Thanks Doc, you understand me completely on this one.no, not fully understand just kinda
(And I solved the problem on this morning's run)
Honestly, the mech swap, then finding out you only own a mech chassis, and probably being charged to strip it when you take it into retirement is a massive d*** move. These are usually family mechs that have been in families for generations and have huge emotional attachment. I would have thought arranging for those machines to be shipped home would have been much easier to accomplish, then taking those machines would be. Usually the reason a family is mechwarriors or nobility is because of the possession of a mech. And it is in living memory of most people to have tech-scarcity. The thought that the government is going to take your property and leave you with a useless pile of metal, is enough for those families to revolt.
Terrifically well written, and drawing attention and emotion into what was written about. I very much appreciate reading what you write.
Yeah. I can tell. This forum hates apostrophes and specialized letters when you edit. Thanks for clearing that up, though.
Nice. Good replacement plan. can't wait to see how the challenge goes.
Am I getting this correctly... they´re replacing all old equipment with new equipment, all of which is basically Succession Wars era technology except for being sort of proto-Omni tech. And while increasing readiness rates and making repairs faster and easier, the point of the entire operation is to prepare the field for the switch to SL/3050 era tech, or even Clan tech, once they have enough of it - because now the process is as easy (or nearly so) as swapping pods on an Omni, so refitting a combat unit is a matter of hours, rather than weeks or months.
Interesting alternative.
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
I figure that's enough to cover all the khans that haven't seen the message before...
"Interesting" doesn't even begin to cover it! :thumbsup:
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
This was an interesting timeline to begin with... now it´s on an entirely new level.
OH sublime!! :clap:
The best thing about Comstar is, no matter what you do to them you don't feel bad
So long before O:S?
So long before O:S?
Yeah. I can tell. This forum hates apostrophes and specialized letters when you edit. Thanks for clearing that up, though.
EDIT: Looks good. :thumbsup:
There's the logistics to consider, plus the travel time between the Clan Homeworlds and the Inner Sphere, not to mention trying to get all the Clans to work together.
In the original timeline it took less than 2 years (Outbound Light stumbled onto Huntress in September 3048, Wave 1 of Operation Revival kicked off March 3050) of trials, preparation, and transit, and that could have gone better for the Clans.
That being said, even just under 6 years of lead time feels...optimistic for what Jaime expects the Clans to be able to pull together.
i like this, can we have more please
to acknowledge, i just binged this in an afternoon
Nice. Sampson should be fun!
i wounder if Clan Wolf can smuggle some support to the WD. a carrack with a Hughes would be a nice forward base for Samson. maybe cover it as a "forwards support base" for the clan invasion. it is also small enough to not be notice by most of the other clans now that they are dealing with internal issues.
I was thinking more of Blessing being thrown in the deep end of the pool, unless Blake's Wrath was also a division-sized unit.
I'm curious what Focht's game is with assiging Blessing to command a conventional division, given her previous skill set was commanding black ops...