I tried. People keep throwing holy water on me. I have regrets and a wet shirt.
I laughed so hard I choked on my tuna fish sandwich at this, and had a coughing fit that became an asthma attack.
While I applaud your humor, sir, dying for it is not my idea of a good time.
Even now, ten minutes later, it requires all my steely self-control to not fall prey to the same trap.