Author Topic: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.  (Read 143295 times)

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #240 on: 29 May 2012, 00:36:51 »
I cannot enter battle blasting "Come Sail Away" by Styx over my 'Mech's loudspeakers.
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fuzzychief

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #241 on: 29 May 2012, 02:11:23 »
On that note, I am not allowed to blast "War Horse Funk" over my mech's loudspeaker...

 

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #242 on: 30 May 2012, 01:19:28 »
I cannot be influenced by Johnny Cash when planning military operations.
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StCptMara

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #243 on: 30 May 2012, 01:28:40 »
I cannot be influenced by Johnny Cash when planning military operations.

Not even if you are running some mech with LOTS of SRMs, with a load of infernos, and are making sure you are setting fire to hexes
in a circle around you?
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #244 on: 01 June 2012, 00:41:52 »
I cannot recruit regiments of children to serve as mine detectors.
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GreenDragon

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #245 on: 01 June 2012, 01:12:14 »
I thought the Dracs, Capellans, and most Clans - as well as many of the Bandit Kingdoms did this as SOP.
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MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #246 on: 01 June 2012, 12:17:23 »
Only for certain values of the word recruit.
Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #247 on: 04 June 2012, 09:01:06 »
I cannot improve diplomatic relations by mailing severed limbs to the embassy.
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #248 on: 05 June 2012, 16:59:21 »
I cannnot replace ejection seats with spring "snakes."
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #249 on: 07 June 2012, 00:31:57 »
Any assassination plot that starts with "Acquire ten gallons of soap" needs to be rewritten.
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DoctorMonkey

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #250 on: 07 June 2012, 00:37:25 »
Any assassination plot that starts with "Acquire ten gallons of soap" needs to be rewritten.

Perfectly reasonable way to start making napalm

In fact, if you worked in the place you are planning on blowing up with some judicious ordering of products "in bulk to save money" you could get the venue to get all of the goodies

Logisitcs: because without 'em, a gun is just an expensive club
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #251 on: 07 June 2012, 09:10:28 »
Perfectly reasonable way to start making napalm

Actually, the plot involved no explosives or incendiaries whatsoever. The second step was "Steal a breeding pair of hyenas from the zoo."
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MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #252 on: 07 June 2012, 13:21:26 »
I like this plan already. >:D
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wartang

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #253 on: 07 June 2012, 21:44:48 »
I can no longer make "I also used to be a freelance Mechwarrior until I took an Arrow IV to the Lower Leg Actuator." jokes

also... does step 3 involve meat? or any -inators?

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #254 on: 08 June 2012, 08:01:00 »
You'll just need to play through the campaign to find out. O0

I cannot "Sing you the song of my people" with the assistance of a school bus filled with kidnapped children.
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #255 on: 08 June 2012, 12:29:50 »
I cannot invite dignitaries over for "happy funtime maiming."
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MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #256 on: 08 June 2012, 14:30:29 »
I cannot train the recruits to have an instinctive fear of grapefruit, pogo sticks, or recycling bins.
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #257 on: 12 June 2012, 09:23:30 »
I cannot have another chase scene where the players must ride donkeys through an open-air market to escape a bulldozer.
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StCptMara

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #258 on: 12 June 2012, 09:34:15 »
I cannot have another chase scene where the players must ride donkeys through an open-air market to escape a bulldozer.

How about a bulldozer through an open air market to escape bad-guys on cyber donkeys with big guns?
"Victory or Debt!"- The Battlecry of Mercenaries everywhere

"Greetings, Mechwarrior! You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against---Oops, wrong universe" - Unknown SLDF Recruiter

Reality and Battletech go hand in hand like a drug induced hallucination and engineering a fusion reactor ;-)

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #259 on: 12 June 2012, 23:07:39 »
Not as much fun.

I cannot whittle down a unit until it is commanded by six leftenants with only the vaguest idea of what they're supposed to do.
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #260 on: 12 June 2012, 23:29:58 »
I cannot invite ambassadors to Canopian pleasure circuses for "An evening that will surely lead to at least two international incidents and blackmail materials on a senior officer."
Subtlety is for those who lack a bigger gun.

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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #261 on: 14 June 2012, 18:15:05 »
I cannot "distill chlamydia." Nor may I load said concentration of chlamydia into artillery shells.
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vidar

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #262 on: 14 June 2012, 21:09:57 »
I am not allowed to use 1 ton drone VTL as kamikaze units, also am not allow to use the company dropship and WIG drone.

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #263 on: 14 June 2012, 21:39:29 »
I cannot liven up the qualification range with kidnapped children from the local refugee camp.
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #264 on: 16 June 2012, 14:29:11 »
The solution to all training exercises is not "more Dakka".


(Spell check feels that I should have used excesses instead of exercises.)
« Last Edit: 16 June 2012, 14:31:24 by Fallen_Raven »
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #265 on: 17 June 2012, 18:34:03 »
I cannot lash corpses together to make a raft in order to cross the castle's moat.
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MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #266 on: 18 June 2012, 00:09:05 »
I'm not allowed to stock planets with imported peasants for hunting.
Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

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StCptMara

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #267 on: 18 June 2012, 01:58:27 »
I'm not allowed to stock planets with imported peasants for hunting.

Aw man! They keep taking away all the FUN STUFF!
"Victory or Debt!"- The Battlecry of Mercenaries everywhere

"Greetings, Mechwarrior! You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against---Oops, wrong universe" - Unknown SLDF Recruiter

Reality and Battletech go hand in hand like a drug induced hallucination and engineering a fusion reactor ;-)

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #268 on: 19 June 2012, 20:27:58 »
I cannot hack the children of the city's crime lords into pieces just to make a point to someone else in a debate regarding philosophy.
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DoctorMonkey

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #269 on: 20 June 2012, 00:46:24 »
I cannot hack the children of the city's crime lords into pieces just to make a point to someone else in a debate regarding philosophy.

Technically, it is more effective to photshop photos of the same and then hack into their social media accounts and upload them as the loss of status they will suffer will be more harmful and other folks will do the messy bits as the crime lords are toppled and the internal criminal strife will likely reduce crime impact on "normal" folk as enforcers etc turn inwards...
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