Author Topic: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.  (Read 143342 times)

Sartris

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #390 on: 23 August 2012, 09:43:28 »
I will not steal genetic samples of my enemy and his wife's sister, then create a clone that makes it look like they had a secret torrid affair and subsequent love child. Nor will I create a 90 minute documentary on the topic and release it to the press.

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Interviewer: Since you’ve stopped making art, how do you spend your time?
Paul Chan Breathers: Oh, I’m a breather. I’m a respirateur. Isn’t that enough?

wartang

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #391 on: 23 August 2012, 10:36:43 »
Wow our commander is a real stick in the mud   ;D

Sartris

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #392 on: 23 August 2012, 11:38:59 »
I will not befriend another regional leader for the express purpose of personally assassinating him and his girlfriend, who has a substantial price on her head.

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Interviewer: Since you’ve stopped making art, how do you spend your time?
Paul Chan Breathers: Oh, I’m a breather. I’m a respirateur. Isn’t that enough?

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #393 on: 23 August 2012, 11:45:31 »
I am not allowed to put the Giant Foot of Stomping on the random encounter table.
Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

"I think I've just had another near-Rincewind experience," Death, The Color of Magic

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Deathrider6

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #394 on: 23 August 2012, 12:21:49 »
*scratches head confusedly* Wasn't talking politics or religion..I was giving the worst historical treatment of sniper POWs
that I was aware of. Admittedly, historically, snipers are not treated well as POWs.

And I still think Falchion was going easy on the captured snipers....I respect snipers immensely, but if you are going to go
bad, go all the way...not just part way.(It also helps to remind  whoever was running the snipers exactly WHY many
sniper teams save one round in their side arm...so they won't be captured.)

Understood better to err on the side of caution in my opinion (I agree on the particular subject but my personal opinions aside POW treatment can be a slippery slope to the aforementioned rule I am just watching out for the Denizens of the Hall).
"You're either with me, or you hate freedom and kittens. " - consequences on VSD and a draw result of the Great Refusal.

Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #395 on: 23 August 2012, 14:35:15 »
I cannot market the "Short Tom" cannon, the "Arrow V" missile system, or "PIGEON" missile beacons in an attempt to avoid royalty payments.
Subtlety is for those who lack a bigger gun.

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Hersh67

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #396 on: 23 August 2012, 18:15:40 »
I cannot tailor biological agents to affect the PCs' loved ones while leaving the PCs unaffected.


 O0 O0 O0

This is made up of 100% awesome!!! 

Sartris

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #397 on: 23 August 2012, 18:19:17 »
I will not buy product from a rival, kidnap key scientists from the project, build my own factory, then destroy my opposite's with a dirty bomb.

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Interviewer: Since you’ve stopped making art, how do you spend your time?
Paul Chan Breathers: Oh, I’m a breather. I’m a respirateur. Isn’t that enough?

Sartris

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #398 on: 24 August 2012, 12:26:29 »
I am no longer permitted to plant evidence to give the impression that my enemy's chief political ally, who is in a coma, is being held in that state artificially by his conniving powermad wife.  Furthermore, I have been forbidden from passing him with a deadly poison made out to be what he believes is an antidote in order to make it appear as though he is trying to murder his friend.

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Interviewer: Since you’ve stopped making art, how do you spend your time?
Paul Chan Breathers: Oh, I’m a breather. I’m a respirateur. Isn’t that enough?

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #399 on: 24 August 2012, 12:42:43 »
I am no longer allowed to play Flock of Seagulls or Celene Dion over the prison PA system.
Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

"I think I've just had another near-Rincewind experience," Death, The Color of Magic

"When in doubt, C4." Jamie Hyneman

Sartris

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #400 on: 24 August 2012, 12:48:55 »
I will not use the code for the automated program that reads the weather reports to create an anonymous persona that leads an ultra-nationalist group established to wage a proxy campaign against my enemies.

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Interviewer: Since you’ve stopped making art, how do you spend your time?
Paul Chan Breathers: Oh, I’m a breather. I’m a respirateur. Isn’t that enough?

wartang

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #401 on: 24 August 2012, 15:15:37 »
Zombie creation is not legitimate research. Flood, T-cell, and any other areas that my supervisor might construe as "zombie" is not allowed either.

...and I'm not allowed to die... again...

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #402 on: 24 August 2012, 16:26:36 »
Death is not "a mere inconvenience" for the PCs.
The one, the only, the unnecessary Falchion!

Notsonoble

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #403 on: 24 August 2012, 16:40:20 »
Death is not "a mere inconvenience" for the PCs.
Depends on the game.
Quote
Self:  Meltrans are already culture shocked, except their response is to squeal like high school girls at a boy band concert and discharge energy weapons in random directions.
Weirdo: Sounds like the proper reaction to a Macross Cannon to me.
Quote from: Weirdo
And of course if even a single Constitution had shown up onscreen for even a single second, you would have been able to hear the mass squeeing from orbit.

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #404 on: 24 August 2012, 17:59:39 »
Death is not "a mere inconvenience" for the PCs.

That depends.

Are they completely dead or only mostly dead?
Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

"I think I've just had another near-Rincewind experience," Death, The Color of Magic

"When in doubt, C4." Jamie Hyneman

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #405 on: 24 August 2012, 20:06:32 »
That depends.

Are they completely dead or only mostly dead?

Depends on your definition of "completely dead."
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Hersh67

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #406 on: 25 August 2012, 00:56:42 »
I am no longer allowed to play Flock of Seagulls or Celene Dion over the prison PA system.

Is Kenny G still permitted?

StCptMara

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #407 on: 25 August 2012, 02:16:35 »
Is Kenny G still permitted?

Yes, however Minmei, Barney, and Bananas in Pajamas will still get you shot(by your CO!) on "War crimes"
charges...
"Victory or Debt!"- The Battlecry of Mercenaries everywhere

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Reality and Battletech go hand in hand like a drug induced hallucination and engineering a fusion reactor ;-)

Notsonoble

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #408 on: 25 August 2012, 08:31:40 »
Yes, however Minmei, Barney, and Bananas in Pajamas will still get you shot(by your CO!) on "War crimes"
charges...
What about Barney covers of Minmei and Bananas in Pajamas
Quote
Self:  Meltrans are already culture shocked, except their response is to squeal like high school girls at a boy band concert and discharge energy weapons in random directions.
Weirdo: Sounds like the proper reaction to a Macross Cannon to me.
Quote from: Weirdo
And of course if even a single Constitution had shown up onscreen for even a single second, you would have been able to hear the mass squeeing from orbit.

StCptMara

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #409 on: 25 August 2012, 09:33:10 »
What about Barney covers of Minmei and Bananas in Pajamas

They get given to Falchion....
"Victory or Debt!"- The Battlecry of Mercenaries everywhere

"Greetings, Mechwarrior! You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against---Oops, wrong universe" - Unknown SLDF Recruiter

Reality and Battletech go hand in hand like a drug induced hallucination and engineering a fusion reactor ;-)

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #410 on: 25 August 2012, 09:45:23 »
I cannot refer to the design of the Confessors as "Helgan Death Popes" no matter how they actually look.
The one, the only, the unnecessary Falchion!

Sartris

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #411 on: 27 August 2012, 15:03:37 »
My GM has informed me that I no longer will be able to do the following:

1) Build crude WMDs using other PCs' waste materials on their own planets
2) Detonate said WMDs while another PC attacks the planet where the WMDs are located
3) Orchestrate a complicated international conspiracy involving an actual paper trail to place blame on a key ally of another PC
4) Maneuver myself into the position to be appointed by the chairman of our security collective as the chief investigator tasked with tracking down those responsible
5) Turn the game into a Hercule Poirot-style 'who dun it?' mystery
6) Speak in a horrible French accent during said activity
7) Lead the other PCs on a wild goose chase that lasts nearly 50 hours, only to place blame on no one due to a lack of solid evidence. 

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Quote
Interviewer: Since you’ve stopped making art, how do you spend your time?
Paul Chan Breathers: Oh, I’m a breather. I’m a respirateur. Isn’t that enough?

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #412 on: 29 August 2012, 12:11:42 »
The first solution to a siege I propose cannot be "Use the bodies of their dead to poison their water supply."
The one, the only, the unnecessary Falchion!

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #413 on: 29 August 2012, 13:31:10 »
What about "take cover behind the pile of dead bards?"
Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

"I think I've just had another near-Rincewind experience," Death, The Color of Magic

"When in doubt, C4." Jamie Hyneman

wartang

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #414 on: 29 August 2012, 20:43:19 »
What about "take cover behind the pile of dead bards?"
O0 like


I cannot poll my unit to get odds on who will die first...

I cannot tell the new recruits that they can only complete their training by successfully navigating the minefield while blindfolded...

I am also not allowed to start games such as "pin the tail on the mine"...

Blackout conditions are not an excuse to cover all my commanders mech lights with black paint...

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #415 on: 29 August 2012, 22:05:47 »
There is no hellephant. It is not bulletproof. It does not breathe flaming neurotoxin acids.
The one, the only, the unnecessary Falchion!

Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #416 on: 29 August 2012, 22:21:12 »
I can not torture confessions from captured prisoners by forcing them to watch 24 hour news coverage of the Lyran Estates General.
Subtlety is for those who lack a bigger gun.

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StCptMara

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #417 on: 29 August 2012, 23:36:38 »
There is no hellephant. It is not bulletproof. It does not breathe flaming neurotoxin acids.

I cannot design the Hellephant as a quad 'mech with hardened armour, reinforced internal structure, and fluid gun...
"Victory or Debt!"- The Battlecry of Mercenaries everywhere

"Greetings, Mechwarrior! You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier against---Oops, wrong universe" - Unknown SLDF Recruiter

Reality and Battletech go hand in hand like a drug induced hallucination and engineering a fusion reactor ;-)

GreenDragon

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #418 on: 30 August 2012, 02:49:12 »
I can not torture confessions from captured prisoners by forcing them to watch 24 hour news coverage of the Lyran Estates General.
Depends on whether or not they break into spontaneous fist fights like some rl legislative bodies.  But then, that would be more of a FWL Parliament kinda thing.
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #419 on: 30 August 2012, 17:36:22 »
"Sophisticated sapping measures" does not mean "Use trebuchets to launch bundles of artillery shells over the wall."
The one, the only, the unnecessary Falchion!