BattleTech - The Board Game of Armored Combat
BattleTech Player Boards => BattleTech Roleplaying => MechWarrior Hall => Topic started by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 July 2018, 22:34:51
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Well, I got Achooluna back from the shop. It had to have a full moon overhaul and the rear end adjusted. But it's sort of back, baby!
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Huh. Did I end up with a spare Achooluna? Am I seeing double, or am I just stupid. Or maybe I am so drunk that I am seeing double.
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Dare i asked where this thing was parked? ;)
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You may dare to ask. However there is a lot of non-disclosure agreements in place so...……..
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Spill the beans! Where was it? ;)
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Well, we haven't seen Wombat in a while, so.....
Craig
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Oh-no. It was parked in THERE? :o ??? xp
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I can't tell you where it was parked. NDA's.....
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My mercenary unit has a MASH truck piloted by Nikolas "The Finger" Van Helsing - see if you can figure out that joke ;D
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This is Achooluna Too. We don't finger things around here!
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Maybe too much Achooluna!
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Well, I got Achooluna back from the shop. It had to have a full moon overhaul and the rear end adjusted. But it's sort of back, baby!
According to the post count, this is new moon
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Maybe made out of paper mache......waitminute....that means someone else made this....ITS A TRAP!
(Wrangler falls throught the floor due to the very thick paper mache looking floor of the bar finally giving away....)
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Whoops. My bad...….. 8)
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[The lump underneath the carpet nods in agreement.]
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HEY, the room doesn't get a vote
{BoP sends a BoP Industries Automated Mobile Carpet Vacuuming Device TM towards the carpet lump.}
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[Juke Box Randomly plays Lost Beach Boys song, Ackukomo song]
o/~ "Achooluna, ooh I wanna take ya..o/~
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?????? When did this room get a carpet? And it's a blue, kinda furry...…….carpet. Crap.
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Meanwhile under the bar...Wrangler continues fall to though the paper mache Achooluna Too.
(http://www.cartoonbucket.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Wile.E-Coyote-Falling-Down-Animated-Picture.gif)
[Note: Person pictured is not a representation of what Wrangler looks like.]
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You will hit bottom sooner or later...…...or the reactor...…. :P
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Problem with that:
it's a bit hard to hit rock bottom when we just finished mining out that quarry
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There is still a bottom...…...………...eventually. It may take a while though...………..
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(Wrangler can be heard from a radio left on the bar)
"Hey, if there reactor down in this hollow, Achooluna Too, does this thing explode like the death star?"
(http://powet.tv/powetblog/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/Deathstar.gif)
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We're fine.
We're all fine here.
How are you?
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<Radio / CB thing crackles>
[Bit drafty, the wind falling in my face...by the way your guys hole in the floor just pin drop now...]
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Did he say to drop a pin? Or a pen? ::)
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{{Meanwhile Wrangler has hit "bottom"}}
(https://bg.battletech.com/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=62239.0;attach=54764)
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Whoot! Wrangler has joined the airborne!
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I wanna be an airborne ranger,
Live the life of guts and danger.
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{lands in the lagoon's water area and surfaces spitting water out of his mouth}
What the SAM HILL is this PLACE??? Made out SUPER DENSE paper mache and can pass for Hawaii and have water on it??!
{Walks to the sandy beach, and orders a cocktail drink..but remembers he on other side of largely unsettled "questionable" planet-like Moon.}
Damn, no beach service.
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[The lump under the carpet giggles.]
"...did you know everytime you hit a statues butt, you've hit rock bottom?"
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[The lump under the carpet giggles.]
"...did you know everytime you hit a statues butt, you've hit rock bottom?"
Or if you annoying Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson enough, Rock Bottom hits you......
Turtle
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[Wombat nods while trying to attack a small explosive to a freshly picked booger.]
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Wow, that's pretty challenging...explosive boogers...must be very big one or tiny explosive...
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What I want to kno……...never mind. I don't want to know why Wombat is trying to attack small explosive devices with boogers.....
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"Well it's not to clear my own sinuses, nah. That'd be too easy. I was thinking I could offer a service of freshly-picked booger transplants! Yeah it's genius! I take booger, attach a small explosive to it, and then shove it up someone's nose that is congested. Pull the rip-cord and BLAM! No congestion!"
**a phone rings inside Wombat's pouch**
"Yes? The director of this episode you say? Well I didn't vote for you? What? Not elected you say? Can you get to the point? Uh huh? Yeah....ok....sure...but...I mean...only a small amount of nitro...can I...sigh. I really don't think you understand who the investors in this film are sir. Yes...I understand...under no circumstances should I use the explosive booger transplant gag."
[Wombat hangs up the pouch phone and smiles at Achoo.]
"Good news everyone. The director is on-board with this plan. Who's first?"
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(A random gullible Ferret-man drinking on the other side the bar to explosive boogers.)
(http://bestanimations.com/Military/Explosions/explosion-animated-gif-1.gif)
(Wrangler watches the recovery crews arrive to pick up the tiny-tiny pieces of said Ferret and that portion of the Achoonluna Too bar.)
I guess he got blast out of that.
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(At this point a hook comes out from stage right, hooks onto Wombat and drags him off scene, stage right. There is the sound of a lot of punching, gunfire, and at least one huge WHAM. A badly beaten, bloodied, folded, spindled and mutilated Wombat is then thrown back into the scene, followed by Looney Toons music and the musical equivalent of a TADAAH!)
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"Is that Achoo in a Wombat Costume? It looks, well, a little too lumpy to be Wombat....."
Turtle
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Nope. I am over here quietly not involved in any way..... (trying to look innocent...…...)
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Nope. I am over here quietly not involved in any way..... (trying to look innocent...…...)
Which means your guilty. guilty of something.
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"Is that Achoo in a Wombat Costume? It looks, well, a little too lumpy to be Wombat....."
Turtle
OH....he into weird furry costume thing?? xp
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"I think that beating might have accidentally triggered those laser beam eyes again. Quick! Achoo, look into my eyes and tell me if your brain is melting...]
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(Unfortunately for Wombat Achoo is wearing mirrored shades. Fortunately for Wombat his eyes are still sort of crossed, so the laser beams bounce of Achoo's glasses, miss Wombat but proceed on to hit Wrangler and Sharpnel……...but fortunately for them Wombat's eyes are also kind of out of focus at the moment so the only end up getting mildly scorched...…)
Ohh! Bright shiny lights! *sniff* *sniff* Does anyone smell smoke?
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Wow, it's like Laser Rave in here.
(https://bg.battletech.com/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=62239.0;attach=54921)
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*sniff* *sniff* Smells like bacon! YEEEOW!
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"It doesn't just smell like bacon, it smells like eggs too...look everyone! Achoo laid an egg!"
[Wombat picks up the egg and sniffs it a few times, then drops it on the floor where it makes a sound like wet cookie dough hitting the floor.]
**SPLAT!!**
"Nevermind...that wasn't an egg."
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CLEAN UP aisle 1!!
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The UN Chemical Warfare people have to be notified first......
Turtle
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[Achoo tries to walk off scene with whatever little dignity he has left to get his burns healed...…]
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[Off-screen staffer holds up a sign for achoo.]
(https://c2.staticflickr.com/4/3562/3454581387_a677f0b64f.jpg)
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[Achoo take the sign and uses it to pummel the off-screen staffer severely about the face and neck]
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[Wrangler watches as the CLAN Ferret Riot Policemen jump Achoo in a cartoon dust cloud and drags him away to the pokey.]
<cough> I guess the technical issues continue for Achoo, has he off to he pokey to problem get proper legal attention.
I guess drinks are on the house! (raises his beer as a cheer in surviving patrons in the bar do the same with a cheer.)
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[Achoo comes back on scene in his Hetzer tank and "Pokey's" Wrangler with an AC/20 slug.]
There! I feel better now!
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(Wrangler knocked off his seat by the biggest NERF foam bullet he's ever seen!)
Ooof
WHat heck...I SPILLED MY BEER!. Grrr
(distracts Achoo with something shiny, uses a large mallot to know him out and ties him throws in a crate. The sends him to Albuquerque (city on the barely known Periphery planet Samoyedic, home of the Wylie's Coyotes Merc group.)
That was down right rude.... x >:(
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Not as rude as an orbital bombardment Nerf strike...…...hehehehehehehehehehehe.
WHAAAAAAAAP!
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{Wrangler pulls himself out of the Capital weapon size Nerf shaped CRATER that Achoo created}
Eesh, there goes the bar. Brilliant work O-Capton, Achoo.
Hmmm...maybe the tanker truck full vodka is still around...i could get something from that.
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Eh, we just move to one of the other bars. This is a resort moon after all. And there is no limit to what I will resort to! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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That explains craters all over the place with destroyed bars and resorts filled with broken palm trees and abandon booze.
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No. The bars are destroyed because of the insane actions of the bar patrons.
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So you and your crew wander around destroying other bars?
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I don't destroy the bars. I make the bars. The other lunatics destroy them because heaven forbid I get to have good things...….
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I don't destroy the bars. I make the bars. The other lunatics destroy them because heaven Wombat forbid I get to have good things...….
Fixed that for you....
Turtle
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LOL!
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I don't destroy the bars. I make the bars. The other lunatics destroy them because heaven forbid I get to have good things...….
{Wrangler reads the morning news on the of fires from local establishments}
(https://bg.battletech.com/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=62239.0;attach=55408)
xp . o O (I do not remember drinking THAT MUCH last night...)
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bar hopping is for people without jumpjets.
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I see they left the chili dog stand alone.
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Hey! Chili dogs are important! Besides, it was air portable and I had it flown in and set up because that racket was payback on the passed out "bar hopping crew".
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(A ferret working bar hands him a bill addressed to Achoo. Glancing side ways and looks at the bill, causes Wrangler to whistle from what he's reading.)
Well that was large bill.
(Puts the bill into Achoo's in box.)
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Where else are we supposed to get something edible around here?
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you eat? I thought you were more borg than whateveryouare...
Anyways, just order from the plastic menu thingy on the bar. (holds up the cooking grease.)
That guy is the cook...(points to the cook inside the order window)
(http://kindertrauma.com/images/art/traumaslumberbarthtv1.jpg)
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Of course I eat. I'm not ALL robot.
Also note I said EDIBLE. I'm pretty sure the menus here contain more nutrition than the "food"
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Nope. >:D
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Oh course i eat. I just order OUT. Because I know....Whats in the burger!
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Hey! That makes exactly...…..one of us! :D
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You maybe eating one our patrons Achoo...then the fuzz make come take you!
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I didn't say I eat here. I just said I don't know what is in the burgers.
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Are you the owner? Your suppose to know that stuff! xp
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I try and not pay attention to that. It's more fun to watch the side effects, er, reactions!
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That's HOW you became Winslow-Achoo-thing. You had one of the burgers!
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Had too......otherwise I could not eat the food here...... ::)
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I guess you are what you eat.....what heck was in that?!?! xp Another Winslow??
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Where? :o
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(points to Achoo tummy) You ate him!
Remember, you are what you eat...so...
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Well, then I am fast, cheap and easy.
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Hmm that's strange qualities for girl date.
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meh
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Meanwhile on the other side of Achooluna...
(https://static.vecteezy.com/system/resources/previews/000/476/141/original/vector-nuclear-explosion-city-cartoon-poster.jpg)
Achoo's gang of hooligans knocks over a convenience store to restock the Achoo's bar.
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Actually...…………….that looks like a Wombat Chili Inferno IIC fart...…... :o
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That Wombat must have high yield gases.
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the blue menace has industrial strength bodily functions
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Among other things...... ??? :( :))
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I guess it takes one to know one. ::)
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Nope, no industrial strength bodily functions.
Damn it.
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Sounds your jelly of your lack of high yield gas / Geneva violations level bodily function issues.
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*whistles innocently*
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So why are you sending your other minions to bump over liquor stores with sub-atomic weapons?
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Wait?????!? Huh? I have minions? Since when did I end up with minions? I don't want minions! They break things, are totally inept, try and kill........oh. Just like all the others who hang around here. Well, as long as they pay for their booze and food.......
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Well, you see Achoo, what makes them minions is YOU pay for their food and booze.
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Indeed. Some of them have tattoos of your current and past likenesses on their arms and other body parts...from what they told me. xp
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That.
Is.
Disgusting.
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Hey, i'm not one doing tats! I have FWL eagle on my shoulder and thats it! Who'd want tat of a Pinkachoo on them? ;D Only loyal minions!
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xp
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I guess your minions are the ones whom are restocking your booze stash and frig with food from the raids their conducting.
(https://bg.battletech.com/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=62239.0;attach=56136)
(Wrangler glaces away from his noteputer of another planetary raid by mysterious raiders)
One these days someone track it back to here.
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*sigh* I told them no flags, no tags, no evidence, deny deny deny! Idiots! Good help is sooooooooo very hard to find!
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(Wrangler hands Achoo Blake's List of good listing of potential thugs for hire.)
Maybe you can use them. Frankly, i'm surprised you just don't order the stuff on Pirates-List.crime. I'm sure they'd cut a deal done for cheap.
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(Wrangler hands Achoo Blake's list of good thugs)
Suddenly, a very large and ancient, bone white Leviathan jumpship appears in the system. A lone shuttle burns from it as the ship stations itself. Landing in the parking lot, a very large vehicular item rolls out of the single bay. Riding up to the entrance of the bar, a lone quad assault battle armour emerges from it...
After checking in the suit, which walks away and sits in the yonder corner like a puppy, the occupant enters the said bar. Said occupant looks like a huge metallic cyborg with menacing eyes and hands.
HI! WHERE"S THE... blares the borg, oh, sorry, had it on low frequency, this better? It's on ultra-low... anyways where's the peanuts at? Did Wrangler eat them all again, missed the reopening ceremonies, what I miss? Cool looking carpet btw... did I miss something? Since when did Bird start selling door to door carpet cleaners? ???
TT >:D
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(Wrangler turns from his bar stool to the quad assault Battle Armor.)
Hello, Stranger.
I thought you were in the Juke Box over yonder. Achoo appears to be stuck in this "Throne" room for last couple months. You may need use that Suit of yours get him out.... it maybe bit...unbreathable even with ventlators equipped in there.
(White Jukebox against the wall tries to play triumph returning hero music but only volume is too low to hear.)
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I'm over here, that's just my suit...
So.. what gives, seems too quite around here!
Do I have to start a fight to get some service around here?
( TT picks up a bar stool and smashes winslow Achoo with it. )
Wait a minute, this was a particle board stool! ( Looks underneath and see's BoP stamp on it. )
TT
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"Guys? there's been a Wombat sighting......"
Turtle
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"Run...to...the... hills!. Run...for...your...lives!"
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"Guys? there's been a Wombat sighting......"
Turtle
(https://i.imgur.com/DXgZyER.gif)
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Where on a paper mache made "Moon". I don't thing the construction factor is high enough to keep yield of destruction from not taking us all out....
"Time to Bug out!!!"
(https://massivelyop.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/MechWarrior-5-Mercenaries-860x280.jpg)
{Meanwhile, Achoo, remains comatose from truetanker's beating while in the throne room aka bathroom.}