Author Topic: Welcome to the MechWarrior Bar and Salohma Club III C4 (Read 47686 times)

The Mighty ACHOO · « **on:** 11 July 2021, 13:54:37 »

Ahhhhhh, the smell of a brand new bar! No burn marks! No smell of fire damage! No patched holes in the roof! No patched small arms fire holes in the wall! Lovely!

That will last only for maybe a few posts.

[Achoo turns on the Open sign and retreats to one of the many small bunkers and hidey holes scattered about the bar after grabbing a beer, a bowl of pretzels and a barmaid.]

Wrangler · « **Reply #1 on:** 11 July 2021, 14:34:49 »

(Wrangler walk through the door.)
Niceee. Shiny new bar, hot cat girl waitresses.

(Orders Dark one from the bar)

rebs · « **Reply #2 on:** 11 July 2021, 15:15:05 »

:::a dropship lands outside. Rebs disembarks and enters the bar:::

I like hot barmaids, and I like cold vodka and cranberry. And the occasional fusionaire.

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #3 on:** 11 July 2021, 15:32:42 »

[The B1000 model of BoP slowly oozes up from the floor]

Nice bar you got here. Be a shame if anything were to happen to it.

Wrangler · « **Reply #4 on:** 11 July 2021, 16:07:03 »

How heck did you get from the floor? Their was quite bit of ....toxic stuff this place was built on.. (peers at the noteputer giving run down of the exStar League superfund site info for the new bar.)

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #5 on:** 11 July 2021, 17:09:33 »

Toxic to you maybe

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #6 on:** 12 July 2021, 16:16:54 »

You to may be toxic.

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #7 on:** 12 July 2021, 16:27:14 »

It's only a problem if you fail to dispose of me properly

Wrangler · « **Reply #8 on:** 12 July 2021, 16:29:33 »

I think he maybe made out of tonic, not toxic. His warranty would have been void if he was.

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #9 on:** 14 July 2021, 21:23:17 »

You can make toxic tonics. I would not recommend drinking one, but it can be done.........wait, I remember a recipe for one.

Here it is!
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=toxic+tonic+recipe&docid=608029324688687670&mid=09F21AD9426920385A1E09F21AD9426920385A1E&view=detail&FORM=VIRE

Wrangler · « **Reply #10 on:** 14 July 2021, 21:42:19 »

(Suddenly, one the burly Weasel bar tenders grabs Bird of Prey and mashes him into one of the mixers since he's part tonic, begins to use their ad-och distillery refine him into a fine cocktail for the more adventures people using their boss's recipe he supplied them.)

[Some weasel drinkers at the bar begin drinking it up]

hmm i don't think that's drink I'd want.

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #11 on:** 16 July 2021, 11:13:49 »

I know it isn't what I am going to even consider touching, let alone drink. I would rather take my chances with a gauss pop machine.

[Achoo puts a C Bill into the GPM Mk IVC6 mod 3. Internally the machine rolls a d6 die, gets a 6 and opens fire with a hypervelocity can of Jolt IIC. Achoo exits rapidly, stage right, not quite conscious, not quite unconscious.]

Wrangler · « **Reply #12 on:** 22 July 2021, 08:34:05 »

[Wrangler watches the Vender machine turn slowly towards Achoo and then fires the can of Jolt IIC at him sending him through the air and the wall behind him with cloud dust.]

Man that's has serious kick!

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #13 on:** 22 July 2021, 13:42:58 »

Ouch.......

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #14 on:** 22 July 2021, 14:13:56 »

[BoP from the last thread wanders in]

Yes, I'd like a tall glass of me.

You still buying those cursed machines Achoo?

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #15 on:** 22 July 2021, 14:18:43 »

No. The damned things just show up on their own. And they get damned indignant if you try and remove them.

rebs · « **Reply #16 on:** 22 July 2021, 14:22:30 »

Don't make the machine indignant. Ever see the Animatrix?

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #17 on:** 22 July 2021, 14:24:52 »

Oh so then it's YOU that's cursed.
That or you need to stop building atop an ancient burial site or something.

Wrangler · « **Reply #18 on:** 23 July 2021, 08:53:59 »

[Wrangler carefully walks to the Vending Machine and looks at tiny manufacturing plate on the side. Then squints since it's bit on the small print size. (NOT SUSPESIOUS?)]

OH, that's the problem. This thing made by subsidiary of Clang-o-Corp. Weapons, Snack and Soda Vending Machines LTD.

Wait, that means there stuff in this thing OTHER than Soda & Snacks?

[Peers at the selections, including Jolt IIC, WomPop, ClangCrab Cakes, Instant Inferno Tacos (Inferno Fuel included), ThermoDetonators, BlakeCakes, and etc]

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #19 on:** 23 July 2021, 22:52:47 »

See what happens when you don't take that contract with the BoP Industries Food, Beverage and Miscellany Vending Branch?

Wrangler · « **Reply #20 on:** 24 July 2021, 17:54:28 »

Won't that result in the same sort of machine?

??? . . o o O O (Hmmm does that mean it won't have tracked and fired it's choosen "beverage" or "refreshment" or armament at the buyer it was vending too?)

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #21 on:** 24 July 2021, 19:43:08 »

Yes, but they're at least 20% less cursed and $50 cheaper.

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #22 on:** 25 July 2021, 16:33:03 »

And 20 times more likely to catch fire or just explode for no damned good reason whatsoever....... 8)

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #23 on:** 25 July 2021, 17:47:44 »

We haven't had any reliability complaints

rebs · « **Reply #24 on:** 25 July 2021, 18:28:58 »

Which oddly resembles a 100% kill rate on the surface.

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #25 on:** 25 July 2021, 18:56:29 »

{BoP writes that down as: Effectiveness Guaranteed}

Wrangler · « **Reply #26 on:** 25 July 2021, 19:19:51 »

(Quickly, with draws from the vending machine.)

Hmm, doesn't that make Achoo a survivor who could claim money from flawed machine.

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #27 on:** 28 July 2021, 18:25:23 »

KABLAM KABLAM

Achoo walks back in holding his double barreled pump action 1 gauge shotgun to inspect the now smoking remains of the gauss pop machine.

I take my frustrations with these things out quite personally.

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #28 on:** 28 July 2021, 18:53:45 »

Quote from: Wrangler on 25 July 2021, 19:19:51

(Quickly, with draws from the vending machine.)

Hmm, doesn't that make Achoo a survivor who could claim money from flawed machine.

but it was the haunted Clang machine that failed to kill Achoo. I have no idea what Clang-o-Corps policy is other than it's probably terrible.

{BoP makes a call to have a new "better" machine installed}

Wrangler · « **Reply #29 on:** 28 July 2021, 19:12:29 »

Well, I'm guessing that can't be fix.