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BattleTech Player Boards => BattleTech Roleplaying => MechWarrior Hall => Topic started by: Wombat on 25 January 2011, 21:07:45

Title: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 25 January 2011, 21:07:45
[Seeing as his arch nemesis is taking a nap, Wombat takes the opportiunity to scribble out the deed and crayon in his name (not that he can write very well) and somehow convinces the janitor down at the bank to sign off on the idea of a marsupial-run Salohma Club. Wombat then proceeds to decorage the bar in tuna fish and urinal cakes.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: boilerman on 25 January 2011, 21:12:52
New management?  It's going to be interesting when the old management walks in.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 25 January 2011, 21:28:23
"Ah yes, thats why I had saber-toothed slugs stationed at the door...with their very own salt-licks!"

[A nearby weasle paramedic whispers something in Wombat's ears.]

"...oh. Really? That really happens huh? Um, how about ill-tempered cheetahs? Llamas? Certainly we've got a bad llama infestation in the back room somewhere."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 25 January 2011, 22:05:48
"Ah yes, thats why I had saber-toothed slugs stationed at the door...with their very own salt-licks!"

[A nearby weasle paramedic whispers something in Wombat's ears.]

"...oh. Really? That really happens huh? Um, how about ill-tempered cheetahs? Llamas? Certainly we've got a bad llama infestation in the back room somewhere."

Drama Llamas?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: boilerman on 25 January 2011, 22:10:47
We don't want the Cardassian sisters hanging out at the front door. 

I mean really...we might not have much class around here but let's keep what we got.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 25 January 2011, 22:14:51
I mean really...we might not have much class around here but let's keep what we got.

So the Olsen twins then?  :D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 25 January 2011, 22:14:55
We don't want the Cardassian sisters hanging out at the front door.  I mean really...we might not have much class around here but let's keep what we got.

I believe you mean the Kardashian sisters...Cardassian sisters might imply something far different.  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: boilerman on 25 January 2011, 22:18:43
Carrdassian, Kardashian, same thing.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 25 January 2011, 22:33:32
Carrdassian, Kardashian, same thing.

Well, now that you mention it...   :D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Joskney on 25 January 2011, 22:50:21
Joskney wanders off to stab a sister to see if the IS a difference. :o
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 00:08:49
[Wombat stops Joskney with a disapproving look and then proceeds to sell him a knife...at 50% off.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Joskney on 26 January 2011, 00:11:50
What part is 50% off, front, back, handle??? No blade???  BITE MARKS?? I NEED TO KNOW!!!!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 00:16:45
**spits out Joskney's hand**

"Ick...tastes like soap."

[Waddles off with Joskney's wallet...and pants.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 26 January 2011, 00:34:19
WR eats his wallet so the Wombat cannot get it.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 00:41:02
[Wombat smiles a big toothy grin and proceeds to pull a jumbo-sized credit card swiper out of his pouch, picks up WR, and proceeds to "swipe" him through the machine a few times, making a "BEEP" sound each time he passes through it. Wombat puts him down and them proceeds to order some merchandise...most likely of the exploding persuation.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Joskney on 26 January 2011, 00:48:23
**Joskney reattaches his hand** 
Keep the wallet Wombat..  I am pooe.  But could you return the pants in a timely manner.  I have to officiate a meeting with FBI and the local street walkers.  AND well it wouldn't be right just dangling out like that...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 00:52:16
[Wombat nods and puts the pants in his mouth along with a cup of detergent and a teaspoon of color-safe bleach (just in case). He proceeds to swish the pantes in his mouth a few times, then spin in complete circles for another moment or three before spitting out a perfectly clean, laundered, and (oddly enough) dry pair of trousers.]

"Shall I press them for you too?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Joskney on 26 January 2011, 00:57:15
No thank you... but I will cut you in for a portion of the proceeds from my meeting. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 01:30:40
"Ah...well next time try my permanent-press mouth gargle. Its got the stain-fighting power of ravenous gerbils!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 January 2011, 02:22:24
Hey, new managment....but the new managment can't spell is it not Solhama?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 January 2011, 02:29:27
Wombat cannot actually read. He just fakes it, nods his widdle head (making rattling sounds like 2d6 die randomly rolling in his head, which may be what is actually happening) then says something which is usually not appropriate.  

[Stands there glaring at Wombat]  >:/!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 January 2011, 02:32:33
well yes, I was aware of that last part anyway. But if Wombat can't read, how does all the ordering of illegal items get processed? Or is that one of those questions I am safer off not knowing the answer to?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 January 2011, 02:36:28
ACME just charges things randomly chosen from the catalogs and sends them to random customers. Some actually make it to Wombat.

Mostly he just points at the pictures of the online catalog.  ::)


[Stands there still glaring at Wombat]  >:(
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Scotty on 26 January 2011, 04:04:10
/me stumbles into the thread.

I... don't think I've ever been in here before.  And to think I thought I knew the hotspots in the Hall.

EDIT:  holy crap, the /me script works here now.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 10:07:52
[Wombat now armed with an Interactive speak-n-spell ACME catalog, randomly points at a nuclear-powered bear trap (with optional carrot dicer) and pushes "purchase". The Interative ACME catalog randomly selects a credit card to bill and, using space-time transporter technology, instantly delivers the product.]

**BLAMMO!!**

[...unfortunately it seems to have been "delivered" on Achoo.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 26 January 2011, 11:59:07
Well there goes my credit!

Come here wombat, I am going to fillet you.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 January 2011, 12:47:52
[watch] This will be fun to watch.  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 13:13:03
"Fillet me? But I don't know if I take premium or regular unleaded. Hang on...lets find out."

[Wombat pulls a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline out of his pouch and pours it in a gallon-sized martini glass, drops a single olive in it and swishes it around in his mouth. He then lights a match and puts it in his mouth, swishes it a bit longer, and then spits the flaming cocktail out on Wolf Reaper.]

*crackling sound of burning flesh*

"Hmmm...yeah I just don't know yet."

[Wombat rummages around in Wolf Reaper's charred pants and pulls out his wallet, chucks it and paws his credit card. Wombat then pulls a old Shell-style gas pump out of his pouch, selects "Premium" and swipes the card a few times and puts the nozzle in his mouth.]

*click-click-click-BING!*

[Wombat swishes the high-grade petrol around in his beak for a few moments before pulling a roadside flare out of his pouch, lighting it, and hosing down Wolf Reaper with the contents. Wolf Reaper can now be seen for miles as he is positively glowing (literally). Wombat nods and pulls a small pair of glasses and a notepad out of his pouch and makes a few notes in crayon.]

"Yep. I'm definitely a Premium-unleaded marsupial."

[Wombat waddles off, leaving Wolf Reaper still burning.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 26 January 2011, 14:04:07
I regret nothing.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Scotty on 26 January 2011, 14:12:26
 [watch]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 14:15:20
[Wombat proceeds to lick the blackened remains of Wolf Reaper Flambeau.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 26 January 2011, 15:29:06
[With his last breath WR stuffs a nuke down the marsupials throught.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 January 2011, 16:23:57
 [watch] ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D [watch]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 16:40:21
[Wombat's belly expands very quickly, knocking everyone into the walls at hypervelocity. Wombat returns to regular shape (much like Stretch Armstrong) and burps some green noxious gas. Naturally this causes everyone to black out for a moment. Wombat shrugs, gives a trademark toothy grin, and proceeds to round up the wallets and pants for later nefarious uses.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 January 2011, 18:35:37
/me stands up and dusts himself off.

investing in a fire extinguisher manufactureing company begins to seem like a better idea all the time...and is it just me, or has it gotten a tad...drafty in here
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 January 2011, 20:24:54
It's just Wombat venting gases. Just don't ask which end is venting.  #P

At least it was only a nuke. If it had been Chili Inferno we wou;d have been in real trouble.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 20:43:52
[At the mere mention of the word, Wombat has a thought bubble appear above his head with Chili Inferno in it. Wombat nods and begins going through the cabinets and food storage bins. Unfortunately it would appear that Achoo has indeed rid the Salohma Club of any Chili Inferno. Wombat pouts as he looks up at his thought bubble with Chili Infero.]

"Wait a tick..."

[Wombat reaches up into his thought bubble and grabs the can of Chili Inferno and holds it triumphantly above his head...then starts to pout again when he can't find a can opener in his pouch.]

"Wait a tick..."

[Wombat reaches up in his thought bubble, which now proudly displays an ACME 3000 can opener and pulls it down. Wombat claps wildly as he attempts to open the can. Oddly enough, this does pose a bit of problems for cartoon animals lacking opposable thumbs.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 January 2011, 20:45:43
hmm, don't suppose you have a fallout shelter, gasmask, and SPF 3000 sunblock handy? I have a feeling this is going to end baddly
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 January 2011, 20:49:03
**anticlimax**

**KA-BOOM!!!**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 January 2011, 20:50:33
[Achoo picks Wombat's remains up, puts him into his thought bubble and tapes it shut, packages the thought bubble into a mailing envelope, puts on the proper postage and sends it to ACMEtm to let them deal with the problem.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 January 2011, 20:56:40
By the way, who put the bomb into the can opener? If Wombat had gotten that can open we would have been in real trouble.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 January 2011, 21:57:35
Strangely enough, I think it was Wombat...Had to  be, it wasn't MY thought bubble it came out of. I would have started with a chainsaw and worked my way up from there.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 26 January 2011, 22:06:56
While the bar is being cleaned up, a group of 3 indiduals, all in black, come swiftly into the room.

They cast a spell on the fallen corpse of WR.

Before leaving, the leader says to the bar, "No one expects the drive-by necromancers!"

[WR gets up off the floor, alive, but without pants.]

"Hey, I had Pants!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 January 2011, 22:31:21
Why do you think MoparMassiah was forcer to wear robes in the previous incarnation of CBT? Having pants with Wombat around means you will soon be sans pants.  ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 January 2011, 22:32:51
I'm just glad I decided against the leopard print skivvies today
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 26 January 2011, 22:39:10
WR puts on a utili-kilt.

"There, all good."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Scotty on 26 January 2011, 22:49:00
How...

How did I just escape an entire day in the Hall with Wombat without losing my pants?

Actually, I don't think I've ever lost my pants to Wombat.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 January 2011, 22:55:51
really? I haven't been in the Hall much since I got shot down by Santa Claus, the first Christmas after the last crash, and I've lost my pants to Wombat several times. I just could not live with the shame of getting blasted out of the sky by a fat man and reindeer. Still this is a time for new beginings.

/me lights Scotty's pants on fire while talking.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 January 2011, 22:59:55
[Achoo attempts to put out the fire engulfing Scotty's pants by ripping them off, emptying the pockets of their contents, dumping the pants into the sink and running water on them. After the fire is put out he returns the somewhat worse for the wear pants, still dripping wet]

Here you go. Somewhat good as new.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: lowrolling on 26 January 2011, 23:25:19
The Prophet stumbles in and announces.........



THE END IS NEAR!!!!!!

With that the bouncers announce last call and the Prophet removes the shards of glass left there from someone (he is thinking The Mighty Achoo) thoughtfully placed a bottle against his head for safekeeping.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 27 January 2011, 00:02:07
There, now your pants are in a state where Wombat is slightly less likely to steal them. 

So, umm, how long is it between last call and first call?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 27 January 2011, 01:50:22
[As he's talking, Wombat waddles by and sniffs Scotty up and down, shugs, and proceeds to waddle past. Wombat them cuts a large hole in a wall and covers it in quick-drying superglue, then waddles back over to Scotty. Wombat ties a rope around his leg and whistles. A nearby taxi-cab with a hyper-excited Chihuahua driver floors it, driving through the city at break neck speeds. Before Scotty can ask "whats the rope fo..." he goes flying out the door, across the sidewalk, through three parking meters and a senior citizen's yoga glass.]

"...is that how we're supposed to do downward dog?"
"I think that was a cat, Harold."

[Scotty goes flying through a sushi restaurant, across three strip clubs (making about $17.50 in tips), and finally back in the back door of the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar where the driver slams on the brakes. Scotty goes flying the other direction thanks to sudden momentum stop and lands face-first in a Civil War-era cannon. Wombat grins a big toothy grin and lights the cannon.]

**BOOM!!**

[Scotty goes flying through the wall, just mere seconds before the quick-drying superglue hardens. Wombat waddles up and carefully removes Scotty's pants and gives them a good sniff. Wombat pouts a bit as he removes the wallet and throws the pants on the floor, peeing on them, and then setting them on fire.]

"Really? Dickies? You ought to be ashamed. Really."

[Wombat waddles off, leaving Scotty mounted on the wall. The plaque on the clearly identities Scotty as a moose.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 27 January 2011, 03:00:50
slightly less likely, as I said
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Scotty on 27 January 2011, 03:08:41
THE PAIN!  IT BURNS!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: pagan on 27 January 2011, 08:11:16
Wow.  Better Scotty than me.  Bar keep.  I'll have a beer please.  Minus the blue fuzz.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 27 January 2011, 09:48:20
[The fuzzy blue bartender pours Pagan a tall drink out of a bottle with skulls-n-crossbones on it and slides the the mug towards Pagan. The contents seem to be meltijng the mug somewhat.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 January 2011, 12:16:14
[Achoo attempts to put out the fire engulfing Scotty's pants by ripping them off, emptying the pockets of their contents, dumping the pants into the sink and running water on them. After the fire is put out he returns the somewhat worse for the wear pants, still dripping wet]

Here you go. Somewhat good as new.




Achoo smiles to himself because not even Wombat noticed that at no point did I say anything about returning the contents of Scotty's pockets when I gave his pants back........... [rockon]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: pagan on 27 January 2011, 12:46:05
This is going to hurt isn't it?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 January 2011, 12:49:34
If you are lucky it wll only hurt...... #P

Otherwise you will be icky.   [AAAH]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 27 January 2011, 13:07:45
[Pagan starts to grow tentacles...and boobs.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 January 2011, 00:28:00
Hey...you're about ready to play both sides of a bad anime
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 January 2011, 01:31:56
We should NOT go there!  ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 28 January 2011, 09:53:52
[A small marsupial ticket-scalper nearby appears to be selling tickets to go there.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 January 2011, 19:33:12
~ looks at the Wombat, looks at...what was once Pagan, looks back at the Wombat~

Oh what the hell, I'll take one
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 January 2011, 21:42:24
YOU FOOL! THAT ONLY ENCOURAGES HIM TO KEEP DOINGD THINGS LIKE THIS!!!













I'll take one myself.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 28 January 2011, 22:08:26
WR keeps encouraging Wombat to proceed with the bizare and risky, because it has works for us so far.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BlazingSky on 28 January 2011, 22:19:24
I was not aware that marsupials could afford the taxes on a property such as this, tell me O Blue Furred one, what patsy gave you the start up money for such a venture?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 January 2011, 22:26:09
Gave him money????? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The little blue criminal stole it!


Why do you think he keeps steeling pants? That's where the wallets are.





Besides, I am nominally in charge around here. Which means that I am considered to be the responsible party here.














Damn it    [tickedoff]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BlazingSky on 28 January 2011, 22:46:42
Ah well, I was hoping if I might take a sample of his DNA. I need to make a bee powerful enough to deliver sea krait venom through up to four inches of steel.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 January 2011, 22:51:21
A minor piffle compared to the raw destructive power of Wombat. Won't do you any good though. He is a Toon. No DNA. Crayon, maybe, but no DNA.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BlazingSky on 28 January 2011, 23:10:44
Hrm no DNA? Problematic. I shall just have to send a minion or two to hold him down and pluck a bit of fur.... Maybe a platoon or two...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 January 2011, 23:31:11
or three, or four.... though you're more likely to get a saliva sample swabing out the bite marks
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 29 January 2011, 02:30:57
[While everyone is piffling around with conversations that he neighter has the capacity to understand and are beneath Wombat, literally since he's attached to the ceiling fan; Wombat begins covering the floors and walls and ceilings with industrial-strength ACMEâ„¢ fly paper. Instantly everyone seems to be stuck in place. Wombat nods his widdle head and then sprinkles butter-flavored popcorn salt on Achoo and, slowly and methodically, proceeds to lick it off in short, even strokes.]

                                          *slurp*

     **SLURP!**

*slurp* *slurp*
                                                         **SLLLLLURRRRRRRP!*
    *slurp*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BlazingSky on 29 January 2011, 02:33:59
Ah good! A saliva sample! Hold still my rather creepy black stick figure man!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 29 January 2011, 02:52:25
[Wombat nods and opens his mouth, allowing BlazingSky to foolishly reach his hand and arm inside the...]

**CRUNCH!!**

<<THIS SCENE OF SENSELESS CARTOON VIOLENCE AND ARM REMOVAL HAS BEEN DEEMED GRAPHICLY VIOLENT IN IN POOR TASTEBY THE GREATER ACMEâ„¢ CORPORATION FOR THE VIEWING AND PARTICIPATING AUDIENCE OF THE GREATER SALOHMA CLUB AND HAS THEREFORE BEEN STRICKEN FROM THE RECORD. WE THEREFORE HAVE BACKED THE FRAME UP BY HALF-A-REEL, THEREBY REATTACHING BLAZINGSKY'S ARM AND HAVE INSTRUCTED BOTH THE WOMBAT NOT TO DISMEMBER GUESTS OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT AND INSTRUCTED BLAZINGSKY NOT TO ATTEMPT ANYTHING SO FOOLHEARTY IN THE FUTURE SHOULD HE ENJOY BEING ABLE TO COUNT TO TEN ON HIS DIGITS. WE RESTART THIS SCENE...NOW>>

Wombat: "...so I didn't just gnaw off BlazingSky's arm?"
Director Steven Spielberg: "No. We're calling a do over."
Wombat: "Do it over?"
Director Steven Spielberg: "No, a do over. We're calling a mulligan."
Wombat: "...those big bottles of water?"
Director Steven Spielberg: "No, thats Culligan."
Wombat: "I don't get it."
Director Steven Spielberg: "You can't bite his arm off, Wombat. Our insurance won't cover it. Again."
Wombat: "So we're restarting the scene?"
Director Steven Spielberg: "Yes. I just called cut and we're going to...."
Wombat: "Ohhh, so you don't want me to bite it off, you want me to cut it off?"
Director Steven Spielberg: "No. No. No. Look just stand there looking cute and lick the floor or something."
Wombat: "Can do!"
Tom Hanks: "There is something to be said for working with animals of limited intelligence."
Director Steven Spielberg: "Oddly enough, Wombat is still easier to work with than DiCaprio."

[Wombat proceeds to lick the floor.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 29 January 2011, 13:44:38
/me nods knowingly towards the director. Then tries to take a step and falls forward in comedic slow motion while both feet remain firmly glued to the floor. A moment later time resumes it's more or less normal paceing leaving ShadowRaven stuck to the flypaper at three points. Both feet and his forehead. An awkward position to be sure, made all the more so by the deficet of pants, and the abundance of leg hair.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BlazingSky on 29 January 2011, 14:24:32
*BlazingSky pulls out his copy of the script, though half of Wombat's lines seem to be marked "Improv" and the other half are "I don't know, just film him", and flips to the current scene* "Hey! I supposed to swab Achoo for the sample! I'd like my arm back please!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 29 January 2011, 19:29:50
"Don't we have to dress like pirates before we can swab him?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Scotty on 29 January 2011, 19:31:04
Nonononono, you're thinking of the Deck, which is that guy standing in the corner.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 29 January 2011, 19:33:46
/me stands up with a horific ripping sound. Which, fortunately for all involved was the flypaper and floor

what's this? we're supposed to dress as pirates and deck the guy in the corner?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 29 January 2011, 20:40:50
You think you got it bad? My copy of the script says that I have to stand here, dripping with Wombat saliva, while you lunatics dress up like pirates to stop the guy with one arm, somehow glued back on, from getting a swab sample of the..............I need a beer.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BlazingSky on 29 January 2011, 21:23:53
Bartender! A round for all! Put it on this gentlebeing's bill! *Straps a platypus to Achoo*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 29 January 2011, 22:16:20
"Hey now, that platypus has a family...use a goat. Oh but don't grab the polka-dotted goat, they're known for eating neckties."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 29 January 2011, 23:50:36
and who around here is wearing a necktie?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 January 2011, 00:17:05
I'll be in my throne room until it is my scene.  [watch]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 30 January 2011, 01:07:59
/me waits for the screaming when Achoo realises his 'throne room' is backed up and flooding the floor
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 January 2011, 01:20:00
Oh. Wombat has been in here again.



I'll just use one of my other thronerooms.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 30 January 2011, 01:21:06
that was....anticlimatic
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 January 2011, 11:54:06
What would you expect? This happens all of the time. Just call in the janitor and find out who, er, what Wombat tried to flush this time.


He was probably giving Spammie a swirly again and got carried away. Again.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 30 January 2011, 17:04:39
See this is what I get for staying away so long.  What everyone thinks of as being 'old hat' is all new and unussual to me.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 January 2011, 11:51:44
Well, post more often than. Sheesh! It is not as if CBT has been keeping the site hidden!


And watch out for the bear traps that Wombat insisted would improve the Feng Shui of the place.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 31 January 2011, 11:52:17
[Unfortunately for Achoo, about the same moment he is sitting on his "throne", Wombat has managed to cobbles together 398,387 ACME Palladium IIC Cherry Bombs and flushed them all at once. The resulting explosion triggers tsunami-like back-pressure in the toliet network, forcing a tidal wave to eject Achoo off his throne.]

*WOOOOOSH!!*

[Sadly the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar is now flooded and Achoo finds himself stuck halfway between the attic with his feet dangling above the flooded toliet...er "throne"...below.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 January 2011, 11:56:45
Now THAT is what I call a bidet!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 31 January 2011, 12:08:46
[Wombat paddles by on a marsupial-sized Mississippi tugboat with a large squeegee on a pole and a moist towelette and proceeds to "service" Achoo's exposed backside after his bidet.]

"There you go. Your good for another 3000 miles."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 31 January 2011, 13:56:59
This has to be unsanitary.

Hey Womabt, do not forget his free ait freshener.  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 31 January 2011, 14:09:34
"I prefer candles."

[Wombat pulls an giant-size gothic candelabra out of his pouch and begins to grease it up with some vaseline.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 31 January 2011, 14:17:45
I...I shouldn't watch...but it's so morbidly fascinateing....oooh, No Wombat, Narrow end first...Narrow end........ Oh dear Herb, I'm going to need some serious counselling after watching that....poor Achooo
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 31 January 2011, 14:50:07
What is loob gonna do, make it a wet pain in the....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 31 January 2011, 14:52:01
**donkey sound**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 January 2011, 23:24:43
ooc: Oh sure, threaten me with a big minty fresh candle when I have to be at work, unable to defend myself. Despicable, that is what you are.

IC: *sigh* Achoo shapechanges into a donkey and mulekicks Wombat into the AFFS thread.


What? So I'm an ass now. It's not as if none of you have not called me that before.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 01 February 2011, 00:50:48
/me grabs some random planking and hammers it in place over the hole Wombats exit made.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: twycross on 01 February 2011, 02:06:19
Now THAT is what I call a bidet!

That's no bidet...it's a cooler! (http://www.vagabondish.com/wp-content/uploads/bidet-beer.jpg)

Or a bathtub. (http://www-ali.cs.umass.edu/~moss/FamilyPhotos/4-Bucharest-hotel-bidet.png)

Or a way to fail. (http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0805/bidet-demotivational-poster-1211077423.jpg)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Scotty on 01 February 2011, 03:59:00
My vote: all of the above!  :D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 01 February 2011, 13:10:19
[The familiar sound of a gauss rifle going off is heard from somewhere around the AFFS thread, followed by the telltale screaming of a marsupial, followed by Wombat flying through the wall. Wombat lands in Scotty's lap.]

"Huh...are you my Mommy?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 01 February 2011, 13:54:10
/me sets to work patching the other hole. In complete knowledge, that no one in this forum is likely to use the same opening twice, except perhaps the windows.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 01 February 2011, 13:59:22
The opening to the bathroom better be used more then once.  :o
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 01 February 2011, 17:29:34
There is no opening to the Bathroom, not any more. Wombat kinda blew that  off with the last tidal wave.  Be careful where you step by the way.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 01 February 2011, 19:06:28
[Wombat, in the meantime, appears to have put on a rather see-through tu-tu and is busily filling the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar floor up with about three feet of water so he and his barracuda friends can practice water ballet.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 01 February 2011, 20:43:09
~grabs an admirals hat, flips over a table to use as a raft, and sets sail on the indoor sea. Heading straight for the bar~

ahoy lads, time we liberate a bit of the stock.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 February 2011, 12:47:59
[Achoo drops onto Wombat's back, sticks the ACME Emergency Toon Raft Conversion Module onto Wombat's bum, and waits...]

Wombat: What are you doing?
Achoo: The Fandango, on your widdle head.
Wombat: Why are you doing the Fandango on my head?
Achoo: Because the bar is flooded, and doing the Fandango on the floor right now would just not work.
Wombat: Oh...........why am I starting to feel funny?
Achoo: Because you are Wombat?
Wombat: Well, that's true, but I am feeling funnier than normal.
Achoo: When has "normal" ever applied to you?
Wombat: Well, uhm...no, not then. There was...no, not than either.......What were we talking about?
Achoo: You being normal.
Wombat: What? When have I ever been normal?
Achoo: Not ever that I am aware of, but you claimed that there was something normal about you.
Wombat: I did? When did I do that?
Achoo: Just a little bit ago. You said that you were not feeling normal.
Wombat: Why would I say something like that.....and why am I suddenly orange?
Achoo: Because the ETRCM is done changing you.
Wombat: What is an ETRCM?
Achoo: This thing right here on your butt.....

[At this point Achoo quickly pulls the pin on the ETRCM and Wombat quickly inflates into WomRaft, complete with oars and a Tu-Tu. Achoo quickly begins rowing WomRaft towards the high ground of the bar, jumps off, and pulls the plug on the ETRCM. This causes WomRaft to deflate, much like a baloon. Just don't ask which end the horrible PFFFFFFFT sound is coming from.....]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 02 February 2011, 13:26:45
~ducks as an orange...then green....then aqua....then finally blue Wombat flies around the room, bounceing off of things with the distinct sound of pinball bumpers until finally splashdown~

I'm glad that was mostly just hot air.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 February 2011, 13:42:25
[Wombat flys in complete circles deflating, over and over and over again, screaming like a schoolgirl on helium the entire way. Wombat quickly reaches into his pouch and pulls out a seatbelt, nevermind that he's not in a vehicle and has nothing to actually strap into, Wombat has this fleeting notion of being safe....probably a left over side effect of the ETRCM. Wombat smiles a big toothy grin as he fits the seatbelt around his widdle middle and clicks it to the closest object nearby. Unfortunately this happens to be Achoo.]

**click**

[Wombat and Achoo take off into the night sky, propelled by left over ETRCM gasses making an awful flirbert sound out of his rectum. Achoo tries to wiggle free, but the ACME seatbelt holds him secure against the propelled marsupial. As the fly up, Achoo gives Wombat a dirty look. Wombat gives Achoo a toothy grin as they pass  SouthWestern flight # 291 and continue skyward.]

Achoo: "What are the odds?"
Wombat: "Um...1, 3, 5, and 7?"
Achoo: "I thought you couldn't count...or read?"
Wombat: "I can't. I asked the stewardess as we passed by that flight to New Avalon. Want some peanuts?"
Achoo: "How did you...oh nevermind. Look don't you have a parachute in your pouch?"
Wombat: "Sure, but I'm not allowed to use it until after we've crashed."
Achoo: "Lemme guess, comic code? Its funnier that way, right?"
Wombat: "Bingo."
Achoo: "Bingo?"
Wombat: "Well if you think we've got time before we hit the ground, although since I can't read, I usually just eat the little ping pong balls with numbers on them."

[Wombat and Achoo crashland and three times through a sandpaper factory, a sliced lemon cart, and a roaming rubbing alcohol gnome/seller before coming to rest on a giant trampoline. Naturally SouthWestern flight # 291, the flight they went through earlier, crashes right next to them on the giant trampoline, causing them to fly skyward again.]

Achoo: "We just had to land on that trampoline before that plane, didn't we? Ugh...I need a drink."
Wombat: "How about a mini scotch from the drink service vart on that plane?"
Achoo: "You somehow managed to grab booze off the flight in the fraction of a second before it hit the trampoline?"
Wombat: "Of course not, that would be stealing...so I used your credit card. The stewardess sold me a double."
Achoo: *sigh* "Hit me."
Wombat: "Wouldn't that be overkill since we're about to land in a most uncomforable way in the bar again with me on top of you?"
Achoo: "Probably, but at least I won't be awake to experience it....now shut up and let me drink my double scotch."

**SLAM!!**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 02 February 2011, 18:39:23
The impacting Wombat and Achoo duo leaves a new skylight in the ceiling, and a second entrance to the cellar below. Moment after impact a whooshing sound, almost exactly that of what a flushed toilet would sound like, if someone ever bothered to build a toilet twenty feet across can be heard As the water begins to drain. ShadowRaven, still in his admirlas hat, upon his upturned table. Now outfited with sheet sails, and a flag that looks  remarkabley like a pair of leopard print boxers begins to circle the top of the forming whirlpool. Opposite him, another figure, dressed in waterlogged and half rotted clothing, whith a face like a squid does the same Upon a table that looks as if it had lived in the bottom of a New York City sewer for the last fifty years.

"I think I saw this in a movie somewhere....."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: lowrolling on 02 February 2011, 20:06:51
The Prophet quickly steps in to deliver the new prophecy (please read as a shipment of beer and booze). The Prophet then quickly leaves money to cover his outstanding bar tab and leaves in the sacred vessel (beer truck).
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: twycross on 03 February 2011, 00:24:47

Forget the Profit of B'here and Whine over there...he's just in the Profit-See biz for the cold, hard cash.

<Twy hands everyone Mauser 960s and stocks the Club and Bar with a few thousand tons of charged power packs and grenades of all flavors>

Try my warez instead. They're gratis.  8)  :)  }:)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 03 February 2011, 01:17:52
Hey, mine doesn't seem to be worki....THWAP  Oh  Smeg....
~with a bayonete now pinning his foot to the table he faints dead away, and is soon sucked down into the swirling vortex leading down into the cellar below~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 03 February 2011, 19:53:20
[A sea lion wearing a cute hat pops out of the floorboards and kisses ShadowRaven right on the mouth.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: lowrolling on 03 February 2011, 20:13:34
The Prophet (charged with Tequilla courage) pratices making the sacred vessel drift while looking for The Mighty Achoo and his scantily dressed hostage.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 04 February 2011, 02:11:34
....mmmm....oh Melissa.....I know you miss me...but what about Hanse?.....and did you have sushi for dinner.....
 ~Grogilly he wakes up, opens his eyes, and moments latter an ear piercing scream, that would have done a twelve year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert proud, can be heard, and felt by the patrons upstairs.~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 February 2011, 12:42:10
Well, the ACME maitenance crew is here. I told them to fix the toilet and just lay a new floor across the hole in the floor.



Again.

What happened while I was unconscious?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 04 February 2011, 16:12:25
Wombat.

Wombat happened.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 04 February 2011, 16:42:37
Trust me ~says a somewhat worse for wear SR as he crawls back out the hole in the floor before the ACME crew wallpaperes over it~ the details are best left unmentioned....ever....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 February 2011, 20:58:03
SOBSDD than.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 04 February 2011, 22:39:30
If I had any idea what that meant, I would probably agree with you. If it's meaning has anything to do with Wombat, then Yes.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 February 2011, 00:56:20
Same Old Bull **** Different Day
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 05 February 2011, 01:22:21
Ah, yes, that is it exactly
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 07 February 2011, 11:24:54
[Wombat, in the meantime has been developing, quietly in the corner of course, a beanie-eating sink disposal. Wombat smiles when it growls and begs for flesh and then gives it a good long sniff of a green fuzzy beanie and then proceeds to superglue it on ShadowRaven's head. The beanie-eating sink disposal begins sniffing around the room, eventually jumping on ShadowRaven.]

<<WARNING: THE GREATER ACME CORPORATION HAS CENSORED THIS MAULING>>
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 07 February 2011, 14:45:25
"What on earth? Wombat, I don't look good in green, at least not green hair" Moments after he got that out he noticed the sink disposal comeing his way. With a string of words, censored for those under the age of 99, he began to run for it.



ACME trauma team alpha, better known at the A- Team arrived moments latter in their black ambulance. After a quick montage involving a lawn mower, two bicycles, a Plasma torch and TIG welder, much fool pitying, and six rolls of duct tape , they launch their monstrosity through the back wall, following it guns blazeing, leaving ShadowRaven laying where he was, in much the same condition as after the maulling.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 February 2011, 09:16:26
[Wombat, in the meantime, appears to be pouring something into lemonade bottles wearing a hazmat suit. He returns a short time later.]

"Lemonade?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 February 2011, 12:20:00
Not without you filling out the 1,234,578,476 page EPA forms, a waiver from the FDA, NSA, and notes from three priests, two rabi, and a nun.


Even then.................no.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 08 February 2011, 15:10:31
I would...but I think I left my stomache over there, under the juke box....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 February 2011, 11:41:52
Oh quit whining and go clean up your mauling.


Here is a mop and a bucket.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: captainjohn on 16 February 2011, 20:41:40
captainjohn wanders up to the bar and asks for the finest drink that the bar carries. Captainjohn quickly changes his mind and asks for a Dr, Pepper
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Dodger on 17 February 2011, 20:28:00
Dodger wanders in and finds a seat up the back, then proceeds to watch the anarchy.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 18 February 2011, 09:00:30
[The floor drops out from under Dodger and he finds himself in the sarlacc monster.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: captainjohn on 18 February 2011, 11:13:36
if I only had a dollar for everytime I have seen that happen I would be a rich man.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 18 February 2011, 11:54:13
[Meanwhile Wombat waddles in wearing a small vest, bowtie, and a tophat. He proceeds to pull several large rings out of his pouch. He carefully places them on the ground in roughly a three-ring circus formation. He thern proceeds to waddle outside and drag in several cages of velociraptors.  Unfortunately the keys seem to be missing.]

"Um...does anyone have a crowbar?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 18 February 2011, 13:25:38
WR hands wombat a crow-bar and pokes the velociraptor.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 18 February 2011, 14:28:38
you sure those are velociraptors, and not deinonychus. If I am going to get mauled again, I would like to know what is doing it.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 18 February 2011, 14:34:41
[Wombat claps his widdle paws together and sets out to pry open the Velocirator cage. Immediately three rather angry (and hungry) raptors run out. Naturally a funky Jurassic Park-like fog rolls in the room, obscuring both Wombat and the hungry raptors.]

<<FOG COURTESY OF ACMEâ„¢>>

"Oh, well hello there Mister Velociraptor...whats this? Oh a bow? So that would be Mrs Velociraptor then? Gotcha. Hey now, watch with the claws? Do you need a manicure? You've coime to the right place. Hey now, one at a time. Whats with the nipples...hey now. Really, I offer cheap pedicure services as well. No it won't cost you an arm and a leg. Credit plan? I can only assume your interested in a credit plan since your taking my arms and legs...mmmf. MMMFF!"

<<THE FOLLOWING SOUNDS OF HORROR HAVE BEEN REMOVED COURTESY OF ACMEâ„¢>>

[The fog clears and the only part of Wombat still there is a pair of eyeballs, still blinking, hovering in midair for a few seconds before falling to the floor like a pair of meatballs.]

**splat**

[Wombat's eyeballs slowely roll out of the room where they are picked up by a pair of inept weasel paramedics in an ACMEâ„¢ ambulance. Naturally the ambulance drives through the bar, running over Wolf Reaper in the process, and then back out again.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 18 February 2011, 14:58:55
Why is it when I help the wombat I always get crushed, maimed, or reduced to ash.  I mean I am helping satan, not getting in it's way.  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 18 February 2011, 15:04:48
[The ACMEâ„¢ weasel parametics pull through the bar again, do a few donuts, get a pina coloda, and leave Wolf Reaper a coupon for complimentary foot scrub and lobotomy services, courtesy of ACMEâ„¢ of course.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 18 February 2011, 16:48:10
Slipping through the fog he managed to find one of the cages and slip inside, Closeing the door behind him, with a satisfying 'clank' as it latched itself shut. Turning he saw a big sharp toothed grin behind him. "Oh Hi Wombat, I thought you where outside....you're not Wombat"
Somehow the carnivorus reptiles grin managed to get larger

~scene censored do to profanity, graphic violence, cartoon violence, and more profanity~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: captainjohn on 18 February 2011, 22:34:08
captainjohn seeing shadowravens predicament leaves to pop popcorn hoping he gets back in time for the show
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: twycross on 20 February 2011, 02:31:45

<Twy steps from somewhere in the fog, carrying his Lagomorph-Portable HNPPC>

I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm outta bubblegum.  }:)

<Twy opens up on the raptors, vaporizing them...and ShadowRaven...and Acmetm D'Weasel-Wagontm>

Sine-ed..seal...delivered...BBQed. Who wants Veloci-chowder?   }:)

<Twy looks around>

Sorry about the mess Achoo. Let me make it up to you.  }:)

<Twy lets out a odd whistle. A Smoochum  (http://www.pocketmonsters.net/images/characters/1727.png)walks into the Club and begins french kissing (http://images.wikia.com/es.pokemon/images/b/b7/EP205_Smoochum_%284%29.png) Achoo. Then a Ditto (http://www.thetanooki.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/070416ditto.jpg), dressed as a pimp (http://www.thetanooki.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/070416ditto.jpg), walks in. He then...well, lets just that Ditto's a love machine (http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs21/f/2007/299/f/3/pokemon_ditto_sex_machine_by_shinyscyther.jpg).>

Enjoy...  [whipit]  }:)  :D  ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: captainjohn on 20 February 2011, 04:22:34
walking back in with a bag of popcorn Captainjohn sees blood and guts in the raptor cage. Captainjohn sees a smiling twycross and offers him some popcorn
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: twycross on 21 February 2011, 00:14:34

Thank you sir.

<Twy takes a handful of popcorn, and offer CJ some green chicken in return>

Want some of Kat's Wasabi Chicken IIC?  :)

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 February 2011, 11:35:58
[Achoo pops back into the bar, washes down the Achoo mannequin he left in charge, turns it to the left, repositions the arms, puts pants back on it, then pops out of the bar again, leaving the mannequin in charge again.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: captainjohn on 21 February 2011, 15:00:11
well this answers the question why service is so bad... Captainjohn then asks  the mannequin for a drink.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 21 February 2011, 16:27:24
Reading directions
... and last door on the right.

stares at doorless opening

I see mayhem and smell carnage. This must be the place!

Strides in... and slips on gore

Barkeep! bang *slightly muffled but with a hand raised*... A serviette and a beer please?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: twycross on 22 February 2011, 21:30:31

<Twy grabs SM, binds him in Duct Tape IIC, dresses him up as Soviet serviette in S&M garb and hands him to Wombat>

Here's a new plaything for you Wombat.  }:)  ;)

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 23 February 2011, 16:12:45
With wounds bandaged, limbs ductaped back in place, and a Quickcell mechanized wheelchair under him. Shadowraven returns to the bar, rolling up to the counter he orders a quadrupple shot of rye, on the rocks
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: captainjohn on 23 February 2011, 16:53:44
wow ShadowRaven you look like you are in bad shape. I know what will cheer you up. the Raptor cage.  Captainjohn begins to wheel ShadowRaven to the Raptor cage.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 23 February 2011, 17:18:36
Wanders up to the preoccupied Capt.

"My dear Capt you cant approach a Raptor dressed like that. It just won't do!"

Applies liberal amounts of barbecue sauce.

It'll do wonders for you. Trusssst Meeeee. :D

The Raptors will be so impressed they'll positively gobble you up!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 23 February 2011, 18:25:08
~sighs and grabs his drink~ well, if I'm gonna catch it, I might as well catch 'er in the rye.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 February 2011, 22:50:29
 [watch]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 24 February 2011, 13:03:05
[Wombat, in the meantime, proceeds to pull 43 missiles, 128 feet of machine gun ammo, three pounds of C4, and an alarm clock out of his pouch, wraps it up in a bow, and gives it to Twycross.]

"Its only fitting I give you a present as well."

[Wombat returns to play with his "toy".]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: captainjohn on 24 February 2011, 14:13:09
captainjohn offers Wombat  a monthly subscription to fancy pants magazine. free of course.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 24 February 2011, 14:57:00
[Sadly Wombat cannot read, so he rolls up the magazine and pretends to smoke it.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 24 February 2011, 16:18:49
~Pulls out his 'Spaceballs: The Flamethrower', and gives Wombat a light~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 25 February 2011, 10:09:45
[A pair of smoking eyeballs blink a few times hanging in midair as the rest of Wombat seems to have turned into ash under the gaze of the flamethrower. Thankfully an ACME ambulance puills in through the wall, running over Shadowraven in the process. Several ACME weasel paramedics vacuum up the Wombits and pull out through the wall (naturally a different wall), running ShadowRaven over a 2nd time.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 25 February 2011, 12:51:08
~lays there comedically flattened, with tiretracks criss crossing his body and of course across his face~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 28 February 2011, 12:20:17
[Wombat pulls a compressor hose out of his pouch and puts it in ShadowRaven's mouth and then flicks a switch to start the 12million PSI compressor in his pouch. Within seconds ShadowRaven looks like a balloon, that is until Wombat puills the hose out and watches ShadowRaven buzzing around the room making a PFFFFFFFT sound with his lips.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 February 2011, 12:39:09
The unmistakable sound of a pinball game can be heared as he bounces off walls, floor, ceiling, bar patrons, to end up dangleing by his neck from a ceiling fan slowly going around, and around, and around.........
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 28 February 2011, 14:14:12
[Wombat, being a caring and kind marsupial, proceeds to pull a Marlin 30-30 out of his pouch and attempts to shoot ShadowRaven down off the fan.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 February 2011, 16:03:01
~ShadowRaven being a semi-sane, and frightened individual tries to make himself as small a target as possible, while spinning around from a ceiling fan~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 02 March 2011, 00:55:36
 I think achoo has the right idea... [watch] [watch] [watch]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 March 2011, 09:48:06
[Unfortuntaly for ShadowRaven, the act of firearm avoidance while under sever centrifugal force has the unexpected result of his face popping out of his butt cheeks.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 02 March 2011, 13:33:46
this...is a strange feeling. Ther prespective is...to say the least, different. I guess all there is to say now is We are NOT amused
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 March 2011, 14:58:28
"Yes, and I bet everything smells like donkey now."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 02 March 2011, 15:14:04
considering where we are. That is actualy an improvement
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 03 March 2011, 10:25:57
[Wombat proceeds to duct-tape a weedwacker on his tail and then turns it on.]

**ZOOM!**

[In the blink of an eye, Wombat is halfway to New Avalon.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 03 March 2011, 16:22:26
Cartoon physics at work. ~with that in mind he went over to a table, after fumbleing around from his new, somewhat awkward position he managed to snag a pepper shaker. Unscrewing the top was a decidedly dificult prospect when going solely by feel, but once that was acomplished he soon dumped it into a small pile on the floor, which he promptly sat in. Seconds latter it began, at first with a faint rumble, then a light sneeze, folowed by a tremendous HAAA-CHOOOOOOO with an audible pop, he found himself  once more, inside in, and outside out, in a natural form. spraled out under a table. Quite possibley the only time he had ever been under a bar table, and mostly sober at the same time.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 03 March 2011, 17:59:41
*watches as the weedwacker power cable coil disappears and finally pulls out of the wall*
...
That wont end well...

[meanwhile]

*sounds of raptors feasting on something covered in BBQ sauce in the background...*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 04 March 2011, 01:16:16
[Unfortunately these raptors seem to crave wasabi and tabasco...]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 March 2011, 10:49:59
This is better than watching anime!  [watch] [watch] [watch] [cheers]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 05 March 2011, 12:38:43
Decides that Achoo needs to expand his anime experience.....a lot
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 06 March 2011, 01:11:10
[Undeadbat proceeds to wear Achoo's boxer shorts as a hat. Sadly, Achoo is still wearing them as well.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 06 March 2011, 01:52:23
Shadowraven proceeds to ask the inevitable question~ Is that an undead marsupial in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 March 2011, 01:29:30
[Achoo grabs Wombat, pulls him out of his shorts, and uses Wombat as a club to pummel ShadowRaven, thus cutting down the time needed to beat both of them up by half.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 07 March 2011, 10:19:11
[In true 'toon format, Achoo rips Wombat out of his shorts and attempts to beat ShadowRaven with him. Unfortunately Achoo rips his shorts out, pummeling ShadowRaven with his underoos; leaving Wombat still wrapped around his middle.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 07 March 2011, 14:16:42
one has never been as pleased to see Wombat as now
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 07 March 2011, 14:31:02
"...I think I felt it move."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 31 March 2011, 09:26:23
Achoo still has feeling enough to move?   ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 March 2011, 10:48:53
[Achoo walks into the kitchen, returning with a nice fresh pot of Chili Inferno IIC. He proceedes to pour the pot of chili on Spammie, tosses a now willingly removed Wombat onto Spammie and legs it for a bunker.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 31 March 2011, 16:27:12
boots it, trying to keep up with Achoo
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 April 2011, 10:58:05
GO FIND YOUR OWN BUNKER!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 07 April 2011, 23:06:41
But this one has free HBO.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 07 April 2011, 23:37:31
bunker? hell I thought you where going for the beer?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 08 April 2011, 00:16:14
I like the pillows.... very plush.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 April 2011, 13:22:15
Oh crap, who let Spammie into this one! Wombat is still licking the Chili Inferno (also his clothes and his skinb) off of him!

[Legs it for another bunker]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 08 April 2011, 14:15:40
Being several degrees smarter then even himself some days, ShadowRaven simpley closes the door and locks it with a padlock, leaving Spammie, the Waombat, and the remaining Chilli Inferno secure inside.  Then with a wild grin goes ff to mix up a batch of quickset mortar.  Comeing back he places a large gob of it over the edge of the door, and presses an egyptuian ankh into it as a seal.  Leaving it to dry he pulled out his trust sharpie and began the long drawn out task of decorateing it with hieroglyphs and images of what looked to be Egyptian gods, except for the fact that instead of jackal heads, and falcons and crocodiles, all bore then tell tale image of Wombat.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 08 April 2011, 20:30:50
**Taps shadowraven on the shoulder and hands him wombat** He said he wants to give you a hug.  **puts out the flame burning on a remaining clump of his hair while wombat gives shadowraven a hug**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 10 April 2011, 23:43:35
Shrugs, hugs Wombat, and goes back to his drawing. "Don't suppose you have a blue marker do you?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 11 April 2011, 23:21:14
*Trips Achoo as he is "Legs it"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 12 April 2011, 12:37:22
[Teleports away in a swirl of pink]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 12 April 2011, 18:21:53
ooooh pretty.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 12 April 2011, 22:59:10
I am gonna start carrying a vacumm cleaner to catch him.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 April 2011, 01:21:47
You just have pink swirly thing envy!   ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 13 April 2011, 01:47:43
If your pink thing is swirly you might want to have a doctor take a look.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 April 2011, 22:10:44
Like I said, pink swirly thing envy. From Spam I Am no less!   ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 14 April 2011, 09:00:13
From Spam I Am no less!   ::)
I certainly don't envy obscurely worded sentences.   ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 April 2011, 09:07:34
What is the matter? Don't like green eggs and ham?  :P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 16 April 2011, 19:01:12
Will not eat them in a box, I will not eat them with a fox (unless the fox is Courtney Cox)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 17 April 2011, 13:40:32
Giggity giggity giggity.... heh heh alright.   :D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 May 2011, 09:48:59
You did that tooooooooooooooooo well Spammie.   :o
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 06 May 2011, 00:37:17
I do a decent imitation of quagmire.... though my Cleveland and Herbert are better.   :D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 13 May 2011, 10:04:03
[One of the ceiling tiles crashes out of the roof, taking with it a sleeping-on-the-job marsupial. Wombat crashes down and lands in the soup of the day. Naturally the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar is kept "fresh" at a balmy 20,000°F...]

"YOOOOWWWWCH!"

[The now very awake (and quite naked) marsupial flies out of the soup of the day and lands on the ceiling fan, where he is quickly dried off. The centrifugal force of the high-speed fan tosses Wombat out and against the wall where he bounces, drops down through a waiting fresh-laundered marsupial suit hanging on a clothes line, and lands behind the bar in a perfect three-and-a-half point stance. A nearby table of judges hold up cards reading 9.2, 8.9, and 9.3. Wombat nods and begins making some drinks as if nothing happened.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 May 2011, 10:44:42
[Tosses out the soup of the day and starts a new pot of soup, with a nice armed bear trap in the bottom just in case.   ::)]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 14 May 2011, 13:02:30
"Yum! Bear-trap soup is my favorite! I'll try just a spoonful when nobody is loo...."

**SNAP!!**

"Mffs mmt mmmd."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 15 May 2011, 04:57:48
So that's what a Wombat with a bear trap holding its lips shut looks like!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 May 2011, 18:48:33
That's nothing! Wait until he eats some Chili Inferno than accidentally gets his bottom caught in a bear trap!  [rockon]




The way his eyes bug out while the pressure builds up, with no avenue of escape, is.....well, truth be told very frightening.  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 16 May 2011, 23:46:58
It's where they got the formula for launching the space shuttle.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 17 May 2011, 05:47:51
It's where they got the formula for launching the space shuttle.

If they got the space shuttle from Wombat doing
That's nothing! Wait until he eats some Chili Inferno than accidentally gets his bottom caught in a bear trap!  [rockon]




The way his eyes bug out while the pressure builds up, with no avenue of escape, is.....well, truth be told very frightening.  8)


... what did it have to do to for the Saturn V rockets!?  :o
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 17 May 2011, 11:46:41
Pretty much nothing, aside from the fact that it looks like Wombat flying away after eating away on a plume of flame after eating the chili inferno. The bits that occasionally fall off are either things that fall out of Wombat's pouch, or things I would rather not know much about passing out of Wombat's butt.....which would explain the bright flares that occur after....ewwwwwww :-X
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 18 May 2011, 13:05:49
[Wombat, still with the bear-trap on his lips, nods. The trap eventually falls off and catches a random waiter on the leg, causing him to scream like a little girl and dump and entire bowl of Chili Inferno on Achoo's shoelaces. Wombat quickly begins licking Achoo's shoelaces, hoping to get some of the delicious soup before it dissolves Achoo's shoes.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 18 May 2011, 17:32:04
In that voice: "Housten we have ignition. I repeat, we have ignition!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 19 May 2011, 10:47:39
[Achoo notices that his shoes (and his feet) seem to have been dissolved by the Chili Inferno. Wombat, in the meanwhile, appears to be using Achoo's toenails to pick his teeth.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 19 May 2011, 10:53:32
 [watch]...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 19 May 2011, 16:25:32
Well, that's a revolting development. Pardon me while I leave for a while to regenerate. [Achoo disappears in a swirl of pink while Wombat begins to percolate,,,
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 19 May 2011, 18:27:39
 [watch] ...

*thinks*

wait... I'm eating food...

Wombat eats food...

What's this strange feeling crawling up my spine... Is that a violin?  [fiddle]

*unthinks*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Phacade on 19 May 2011, 21:41:56
[Wombat claps when he notices SethsMatches has discovered his coat of many piranhas. Meanwhile a lone figure standing nearby scoops up the fuzzy fleabag and proceeds to put him in a potato sack and mails him to Siberia.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 19 May 2011, 23:30:50
I give his return trip..... about 45 seconds..... if they are having a slow day.  ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 20 May 2011, 08:24:14
[Unfortunately Phacade finds a rather large bomb (and potato peels) inside the bag when he gets to his destination.]

**KA-BOOM!!!**

[Meanwhile Wombat is busilytrying to get plunger off the tip of his nose from swordfighting with a narwhal.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 02 June 2011, 21:58:49
**Inigo Montoya battles both of them and tells them to prepare to die**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 03 June 2011, 09:19:51
"...not on Rex Manning day!!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 June 2011, 20:39:54
Why not?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 04 June 2011, 08:56:27
[Wombat panics and poops a blueberry.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 June 2011, 10:19:01
Ewwwwwwwwww!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 06 June 2011, 00:27:24
[The blueberry begins singing and dancing. Pretty soon, Howie Mandel arrives and signs the blueberry up for its own reality show.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 06 June 2011, 11:05:35
The Horror...  [skull]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 June 2011, 23:40:45
Not really. Just pretty much the same old poop you see on most broadcast tv.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 07 June 2011, 08:37:46
[Meanwhile, deep in the back room, the naughty marsupial struggles against the gag (and the 45 tons of concrete poured inside an ACME safe that it was sealed inside before being placed underneath the sagging bones of Walter Mondale.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 June 2011, 00:01:06
Ahhhhhhhhh! Quiet!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 June 2011, 11:23:39
"The only problem with gagging yourself is occasionally you throw up."

[Achoo finds a little "present" in his underwear drawer.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 08 June 2011, 11:25:46
I've heard of Projectile vomiting... but Teleportation!? Wow...  [notworthy]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 June 2011, 11:30:23
"I do birthdays and bar mitzvahs."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 June 2011, 12:21:15
And both are suing you for personal injuries and psychological trauma.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 June 2011, 14:06:00
"Sue...Su...sorry, I never learned my ABC's past....what comes after A?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 June 2011, 22:10:16
If you are Canadian, that is pretty much the end of the sentence, so nothing except for maybe a bit of nervous silence.

If you are Italian it is pretty much at the beginning of the sentence. A=Hey!

If you are French it seems that it often appears at the end of many words for no damned good reason. And it is net even spelled with an "A"!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 09 June 2011, 09:09:48
[Wombat, completely confused by the discussion of different nationalities, proceeds to try and think up something clever to say. When he can't, his widdle brain snaps in half...literally. Wombat waddles off screen and drives back in with a steamroller. Wombat proceeds to run over three waiters, a porcupine, and lastly Achoo. Twice.]

**SQUISH**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 09 June 2011, 09:30:14
That needs to go up on the wall.

*Frames and hangs Wombat's latest creation*

Let the Bidding begin!

Do I hear a Galaxy for this fine work? A Galaxy!?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 09 June 2011, 10:23:04
"All I have in my pouch is a barely used white dwarf star."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 09 June 2011, 10:24:52
We've a White Dwarf.

Any advance on a White Dwarf?!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 June 2011, 16:19:47
I bid a blue menace.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 09 June 2011, 16:23:30
[being drug along behind a truck]

That's cheating!

[disappears out the other side of the thread]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 10 June 2011, 09:12:10
[Meanwhile, in some forign country, the naughty marsupial klaxon tries to hitchhike back to the Salohma Club.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 11 June 2011, 22:51:50
**Not before the klaxon pimp gets his money... best not mess with that ya dig.**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 11 June 2011, 23:38:09
~flushes, washes his hand and comes back in, wondering if he missed anything~ nah, probably not.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 12 June 2011, 02:00:49
[Wombat licks the other hand clean.]

"...er wait. Are you left or right handed? I guess it really doesn't matter."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 12 June 2011, 15:25:55
no...I guess it doesn't matter anymore.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 June 2011, 10:05:23
Today's lunch special is Hungarian Goulash! Made with real Hungarians! Yum!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 13 June 2011, 12:29:56
I'll take a gallon of molten lead to dip my hand in, thank you.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 13 June 2011, 17:08:30
[The awful jingle playing over the radio barely covers up ShadowRaven's screams...]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 13 June 2011, 23:39:22
~once the screaming is over, SR pulls a glove over the now skeletal hand, and wiggles the fingers experimentally~ Free of Wombat drool at last. Now if only I could say the same about my wallet
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 14 June 2011, 00:01:32
**ShadowRaven's wallet whimpers in pain**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 June 2011, 09:23:01
Well, if you hadn't bought that Wombat tongue wallet it would not be drooling. Silly darkcrow.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 14 June 2011, 10:30:37
[Wombat, in the meanwhile, sneaks into a morgue and steals a random cadaver foot (by way of hacksaw, of course) and then returns. The nefarious grin and bloodspatters on his widdle medical coat speaks of horrors...best unspoken. Wombat carefully takes the foot and duct tapes several firecrackers in it and then nods once they are secured inbetween the toes.]

"I don't want to go overboard, so I'm only using 3 megaton firecrackers today!"

[Wombat proceeds to hire three out-of-work beavers to gnaw Achoo's foot off and then sews on the random cadaver foot onto Achoo's bloody stump using fishing line and an old bicycle chain. Wombat nods his approval, causing his widdle brain to bounce around in his skull like a ping pong ball in a coffee can. Wombat lights the fuses and then ducks underneath a cast-iron bathtub...conveniently placed of course.]

**BOOM!!**

[Wombat proceeds to collect the cadaver foot...and Achoo's real foot, pouching them for "later".]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 14 June 2011, 12:49:42
This explosion brought to you by Dr. Strangemarsupial. Or "how I learned to stop worrying and embrace the madness."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 14 June 2011, 13:49:13
[Wombat shrugs, pulls Achoo's foot out of his pouch-freezer, and licks it like a popsicle.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 June 2011, 23:13:00
[Achoo's foot mutates, grows tentacles and very sharp pointy teeth, and grabs ahold of Wombat's nose and begins to chew it off]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 14 June 2011, 23:49:10
"Hey that tickles...it tickles it...ah...ah..."

"ACHOO!"

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 15 June 2011, 00:26:04
Hey boss, he's calling you?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 15 June 2011, 09:26:45
[A second Achoo from another time period arrives in a flash of pink swirling dust (since he was summoned) and looks at the other Achoo. Their eyebrows go up and down as they size each other up....and the "Everybody was Kung Foo fighting" song starts playing...]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 June 2011, 10:22:41
[And both Achoo's, along with Achoo's detached foot, begin to tag team pummel Wombat using ShadowRaven like a folding chair in the wrestling ring.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 15 June 2011, 10:51:57
 [watch]

Hit... ummm... IT! Again!

 [watch]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 15 June 2011, 15:28:03
[Wombat quickly crawls into his pouch and returns a moment later with concrete-flavored Kool-aid, which he drinks and pats his belly. Immediately Wombat turns to stone, causing the folding chairs to bounce harmlessly on him.]

(unfortunately Concretebat realizes he can't move)

"...and I have to go pee!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 June 2011, 23:36:27
[Puts Concretebat on top of ShadowRaven and walks away whistling...]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 16 June 2011, 09:31:11
[Unfortunately for everyone in the room, concretebat has been mixed with equal parts explosives and is now plastiquebat. Unfortunately the detonator is in Wombat's pouch. Thankfully nobody is stupid enough to press the bright glowing button on Wombat's belly...]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 17 June 2011, 00:42:03
[A brown siberian sabertoothed squirrel scampers into the scene. He runs up to plastiquebat and, following the directions given to him by the big pink guy that he can have all the acorns he could possibly want, pushes the bright glowing button on Wombat's belly to get his reward of lots and lots of nice acorns.]



At this point there is a rather loud   KABOOM! 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 17 June 2011, 12:40:05
[Achoo suddently finds himself embedded in the ceiling as the ACMEâ„¢ ambulance driven by inept weasel parametics drive up through the drainpipe of Achoo's "throne" and into the the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar. Two parametics jump out to begin scooping up Wombat while the third paramedic does donuts on the oriental rug (then again, it could just be a few random orientals that made the mistake of eating in this establishment.]

Parametic #2: "Looks like someone blew up Wombat again."
Parametic #1: "I tell ya, we're not getting paid enough for this job."
Parametic #2: "...your getting paid?"
Parametic #1: "Figuratively."
Tom Cruise: "I swear this is the worst community service ever."
Parametic #1: "Shut up, Jerry Maguire and start shoveling."
Parametic #2: "Think anyone will notice if I do the water scene from Flashdance in the middle of the Salohma Club after we scoop Wombat up?"
Parametic #1: "Hey, its improv...we might even get paid time-and-a-half for it."
Parametic #2: "Score."
Tom Cruise: "You guys are the worst paramedics I've ever served community service with."
Parametic #1: "Shut up Cruise...and put some pants on. Honestly, who wears a long-sleeved shirt with tighty-whiteys and sunglasses anyway?"
Parametic #2: "Very unprofessional if you ask me."
Tom Cruise: "...it was part of my community service agreement! Next time I'm telling my lawyer no cartoon judges!"
Parametic #2: "Yap-yap-yap. More shoveling, less yapping."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 17 June 2011, 19:58:44
[Somewhere high overhead a screaming, smoldering, slightly blowed up Siberian Sabertoothed Skwerl is on the way down from being blowed up to nearl orbital heights. He is falling so hard and fast that his dopplered scream arrives right after he crashes through the roof to squarely demolish the ACME ambulance. Shortly afterwards Wombat, Tom Cruise, and the Parametics (should have been Pathetics, as the correct spelling is Paramedics. Sheesh, the "t" is note even adjacent to the "d") wake up in the Green Room of Hell.]

Parametic #1:  What happened?
Parametic #2:  I don't know.
Tom Cruise:  Again?
Parametic #1:  Again? What again, you whinner.
Tom Cruise:  Back in hell, again.
Wombat:  Ohhhhh, skittles!
Parametic #2:  Skittles? Oh boy! Skittles!
Tom Cruise:  Somehow I doubt those are skittles.
Parametic #1:  Why do you doubt, you whinny yappity yapper?
Tom Cruise:  Because they came out of his head!
Parametic #1:  So? His brain is skittle powered!
Beelzebub:  What in the hell is all of the yelling about in here....Wombat? Tom? What in the hell are you doing back here?
Parametic #2:  How are we supposed to know? Maybe you should ask the Skwerl hidding under the couch.
Beelzebub:  The Skwerl under the..........crap. All of you! Get the hell out of here!
Wombat:  Oh, Hi! Hey? Why should I leave so soon? I just got here?
Beelzebub:  BEGONE!
[With a firey flash Wombat, the Parametics [  >:( ], Tom, and one more that slightly confused Siberian Sabertoothed Skwerl find themselves in the white room of heaven.]
Archangel Gabriel:  What in the hell are you all doing here?
Wombat:  We're Dancing!
[Wombat rips off his Wombat suit to reveal a white Elvis-like outfit, a disco ball drops from the ceiling and begins to do the funky lighting thing disco balls do as Wombat begins singing]

My baby moves at midnight—goes right on till the dawn.
My woman, takes me higher; my woman keeps me warm.

What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, aah?
What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, aah?
You should be dancing, yeah, dancing, yeah.

She's juicy and she's trouble; she gets it to me good.
My woman gives me power—goes right down to my blood.

What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, aah?
What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, aah?
You should be dancing, yeah, dancing, yeah.
What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, ooh?
What you doin' LAYIN' ON YOUR BACK, aah?
You should be dancing, yeah, dancing, yeah.
Archangel Gabriel: Get Out!
 
 
 
 
 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 17 June 2011, 20:49:39
"...but it played so well in Vegas."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 June 2011, 14:53:01
What does Vegas have to do with Heaven?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 22 June 2011, 10:48:20
"Bright lights and streets paved in gold?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 June 2011, 09:26:06
Well, the lights are bright in Vegas. I grant you that. But streets paved with gold? Would not last long. The greed of the inhabitants would lead to unpaved roads very quickly. More like paved with good intentions. That's Vegas.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 23 June 2011, 09:34:26
good intentions?  "Let's seperate them from their livelihoods".  Those good intentions? 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 24 June 2011, 09:23:46
[Wombat, in the meantime, is busily trying to drill the gold fillings out of PurpleDragon's mouth.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 June 2011, 21:33:41
Originally Los Vegas was of good intentions. Than gambling arrived. So much for the good intentions.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 05 July 2011, 08:38:29
**attempts to lick off Achoo's socks**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 05 July 2011, 08:41:44
*watches wombat succeed*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 05 July 2011, 17:21:51
[laughs/cries the whole time holding his claw over his mouth and pointing at Achoo's feet]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 July 2011, 19:10:08
*grabs PurpleDragon, skins hin, and makes dragon skinned boots*

Well...........they are purple.................kinda Mariky looking.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 05 July 2011, 19:13:05
[Hits Achoo with a Wombat then picks up his "boots" and puts them back on]

What?  Womat's the one licking, err, huggging, err...  uh what's that wombat doing to you?   Eeeewwwwww!

[walks away]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 July 2011, 23:56:05
Come back you cowardly winged gecko!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 20 July 2011, 10:58:40
[Wombat shrugs and just goes with it and proceeds to hump Achoo's leg raw.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 July 2011, 11:34:31
[Achoo cuts his own leg off and hops offscene]


Curse you Samurai Wombat! 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 20 July 2011, 12:33:16
[Wombat shrugs and takes Achoo's legs in the back for some "alone time".]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: captainjohn on 21 July 2011, 00:57:08
seeing the discord. Captainjohn slowly backs away from the Wombat. and takes Wombat proventative measures. Removes his pants.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 21 July 2011, 08:44:54
[CaptainJohn's pants screams like a insane gopher and runs out the door.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 July 2011, 10:29:33
captainjohn! You fool! Wombat does not just steal pants for the wallets! It makes it easier for him to hump your leg! (And Wombat like the.............never mind. The Horror! The Horror!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 22 July 2011, 10:33:22
[CaptainJohn's legs scream and run out the door, hail a taxi, and drive off the airport. CaptainJohn is left a paraplegic in the middle of the floor.]

"...I suppose I could hump his arms, but its just not the same."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 July 2011, 09:29:38
I may just become a disembodied voice floating around, but than again maybe not. Wombat would still probably find a way to.................ewww!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 23 July 2011, 12:16:59
Must. Wash. Out. Brain...

It's not working!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 July 2011, 01:22:50
You just need more pressure for the cranial mind flush. 550 or 600 psi should do the trick.  O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 24 July 2011, 13:49:47
There is only one thing to say to that...

"MORE POWER IGOR!

RAISE THE LIGHTNING CONDUCTOR!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My Brain washing machine is... ALIVE!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 July 2011, 08:16:35
[Wombat adds some bleach, three static-cling sheets, and an alligator...just to be certain.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 July 2011, 10:02:18
[There is a loud snapping sound as the alligator clomps his jaws of Wombat's little nub of a tail.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 17 August 2011, 19:10:02
~begins collecting bets on how long it takes for the Alligator to end up as leather goods~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 August 2011, 00:24:52
A really long time, apparently. Wobmat appears to have gone.......well, just gone.

Did the gator eat him? That would be a really bad thing.










For the gator............
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 23 August 2011, 15:20:25
indigestion much?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 23 August 2011, 19:17:17
Naaaaww.  I bet the Wombat is just stewing up some revenge. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 23 August 2011, 20:30:19
wombat + stew of any sort = indigestion
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 August 2011, 06:21:50
Wombat + any form of food = DANGER WILL ROBINSON!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 31 August 2011, 12:29:22
couldn't put it better myself.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 19 October 2011, 22:08:57
Well, it seems that Wombat has gotten lost somehow. A beer for everyone in celebration!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 20 October 2011, 00:24:30
I'll drink to that.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 20 October 2011, 02:11:04
A round on the house.... don't forget your ladders.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 October 2011, 09:57:25
I think I will just have mine down here.  
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 25 October 2011, 18:38:41
[Flies by and grabs his]

 [cheers]

[and then goes as skyward as he can/dares to drink his]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 October 2011, 00:02:32
~covers his ears as the automated AA guns open up~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 October 2011, 16:34:47
*sigh* Who left those damned things on?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 October 2011, 17:40:52
last person to check the Wombat traps?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 29 October 2011, 05:33:51
Nobody checks the Wombat traps besides Wombat.  ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 29 October 2011, 19:10:46
my point still stands
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 29 October 2011, 22:43:49
There is only one way to check the Wombat traps.

[Opens the trap door, tosses in about a dozen armed grenades, closes the trap door lid as a series of muffled explosions occur in the Wombat traps.]

OK, I checked them.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 31 October 2011, 00:12:46
**A Backsoon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpiD21jtWGA) latches onto Achoo's left ankle**  What about a trap for that?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 31 October 2011, 15:14:15
kill it, kill it with fire ~Opens up on the Backsoon, and of course Achoo's ankle, and all things attached, or in general vicinity with a flamethrower~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 October 2011, 23:35:39
Hey! Ouch! Stop that! Yowch! WHOAWHOAWHOAOWOWOW!

KABLAM!
KABLAM!
KABLAM!
KABLAM!


Keep shooting at me and I will reload this thing!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wolf Reaper on 01 November 2011, 16:16:41
*Points a targeting laser at Achoo.....

(A loud whistling can be heard over the din)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 01 November 2011, 18:54:44
well if you wouldn't keep missing, you wouldn't need to reload. Gee can't aim and shoot with something gnawing on a limb, while being splashed with flameing petrochemicals? and you are going to handle the Wombat how?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 November 2011, 00:45:59
Here I do not "handle" Wombat. If you had any sense at all you would know that nobody "handles" Wombat. The traps are designed to slow him down and slow him down a bit.

[Achoo teleports away in a swirl of pinkness just before the bombs land, than reappears afterwards to clean up the mess and fix the holes in the floor. Again.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 03 November 2011, 00:48:39
**The backsoon gives Achoo a hug**
Backsoon: I love my little achoo, yes I do, I'll hug him and pet him and squeeze him and hold him.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 November 2011, 12:42:29
ShadowRaven has lots of books, and some nice new socks that you can make holey.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 03 November 2011, 18:38:34
I have new socks? wow.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 04 November 2011, 10:15:03
NO!  WAIT!   DON'T Put them on yet!   Check to make sure there's not a blue...  err,   something or other in there first. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 November 2011, 23:04:54
What's a  Blue Somethingorother? Is it anything like a Spotted Backson or a Gottago?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 04 November 2011, 23:22:07
I think he was refering to the marsupial of doom. Of course I'm not overly concerned both my feet are replacements anyway thanks to Wombat's attentions. The left was bit off, and I believe I originally lost the right in a vat of boiling acid. Or maybe it was Chilli. Been a while now. Hard to be sure.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 05 November 2011, 01:11:23
ShadowRaven has lots of books, and some nice new socks that you can make holey.
**The backsoon combs Achoos beard and puts a purple bow in it**
Backsoon: Now you're all ready for the monsters ball..... though how you'll fit in it I'll never know....   :D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 November 2011, 22:58:06
Begone backson! There is somebody in more dire need of your attention.

By the way, are you a Spotted Backsoon, a Willbe Backsoon, or a Combing Backsoon....wait, you were combing my hair. Question answered.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 09 November 2011, 23:32:16
Backsoon: Stop squirming! How else am I supposed to brush your teeth with this sulphuric acid?  **scrub scrub scrub**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 November 2011, 23:45:17
Achoo craftily opens the access door to the Wombat traps, accidentally trips the Backsoon into open access hatch, slams the door shut after the Backsoon falls in, locks the access door, then disappears in a swirl of pinkness (just in case Spammie insists on bringing the Backsoon back) "just in case".
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 22 November 2011, 00:10:46
**The Backsoon taps achoo on the shoulder**
Backsoon: Those traps hurt, yes they did.  Just for that, I'm going to have to give you twice the love.  How's your taste for being tied up while listening to 15 days of Fran Dresher sings Christmas songs.... oh I can't wait.  **places achoo in an airtight container with anti escape spells so Achoo doesn't miss a moment**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 22 November 2011, 00:49:27
but, Fran's Jewish, she doesn't sing Christmas songs....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 22 November 2011, 01:22:28
Backsoon: Well then, should make the lyrics that much more interesting.....   :D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 November 2011, 10:44:33
Your not fooling me. This is a woozle in disguise. Besides, I work at WalMart. There is nothing you can do that can harm me. For instance since Holloween we have been playing attrocious Christmas music. I ignore it. Like I am ignoring the woozle in the Backson suit. I deal with worse on a daily basis. Go scribble in ShadowRaven's books and derail Mopar's train of thought!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 23 November 2011, 15:39:26
wait, what do my books have to do with mopars train of thought?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 November 2011, 12:45:31
*sigh*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 25 November 2011, 00:23:31
Backsoon: What's a Woozle?
Woozle: I dunno, sounds contagious though.
Backsoon: Good thing I brought lots of hand sanitizer.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 25 November 2011, 20:52:57
this is annoying. Anyone know where they hid the controls for the R.C. Hetzer?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 25 November 2011, 23:39:14
In Wombat's pouch.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 November 2011, 00:28:27
man, what a time to not be able to find the blue furball
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 26 November 2011, 08:50:09
Even if you could find it, wouldn't it be  safer to write it off as a loss?

Tell you what, make me a bloody surat with the top shelf vodka and I'll loan you my universal remote.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 November 2011, 10:07:20
But I don't want the crontrols. I could just rip the arms of the Backson and pour it's spurting blood into a cup for you if you want.  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 November 2011, 11:26:06
Does the blood contain alcohol?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 November 2011, 14:20:00
actually the Backsoons might be the only things in this place who's blood is not laced with alcohol
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 November 2011, 23:12:43
I would be happy to conduct the experiment to find out!  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 07 December 2011, 10:14:23
this is annoying. Anyone know where they hid the controls for the R.C. Hetzer?
WHO STOLE MY R.C. HETZER????

All right, that's it! I go away for a litte (long) while and people start horking my stuff. Shadowraven, as a former Snow Raven I am using one of my R.C. McKenna slots. Target the bar!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 December 2011, 11:11:10
Why in the heck are you targeting the bar? The RC Hetzer is in the back parking lot where it has been parked for years. Just the remote is gone. And since the anti-theft system of the Hetzer is armed noone is going near the damned thing. Go after Wombat. The blue rat has the remote, or at least was the last one known to have the remote.



Sheesh! Why does everybody target the bar?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 07 December 2011, 11:25:31
Actually I am targeting the bar because I am still none to happy with the gauss soda machine. That being said, I have my back up remote, and I am moving the Hetzer to a safer location.


And if a swarm of R.C. savahna masters comes roaring in here: it is not my fault and I was never here.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 07 December 2011, 12:20:06
[Wombat, meanwhile, is busily floating in a bowl of soggy Cheerios.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 07 December 2011, 14:21:45
Hmm, you know. I know this place that sells RC hovercraft. Maybe I could build my own R.C. Savannah Master. A pity I don't own any of the old cartoon toys....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 07 December 2011, 15:54:36
[Wombat appears to be cereal-bloated.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 07 December 2011, 16:02:31
Oh dear god no, I forgot about Wombat. Ok, time to target the bar again.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 07 December 2011, 19:21:59
-hides under a table unsure which will blow first. Wombat, or the bar-
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 December 2011, 00:30:04
Probably both. Pity. It was such a nice bar.


Now where did I put my Savannah Master IIC?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 08 December 2011, 05:35:42
What do you mean we are not clear to fire? Wombat is right there? Ares Accords? What? This freaking thing is R.C.! You just need to push the button! Fine.....

Governments!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 December 2011, 10:49:56
"WooooooHA!"

[Wombat goes flying out of the garage in Achoo's Savannah Master IIC. Naturally its damaged beyond repair, reeks of old fish and pudding pops (in fact, one can barely hear Bill Cosby screaming for help from the trunk), and appears to have been poorly painted in blue and pink spraypaint. Wombat leaps the poor hovercraft in the air, landing on Achoo's other ride. And Achoo.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 December 2011, 10:59:19
Ahhh maaaaaan! Bad Wombat! Bad Wombat! Go sit in the corner! Put on your Bad Wombat dunce cap! Don't eat the wall!


Damn! I just had that thing overhauled!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 December 2011, 13:01:07
"In the corner? In the corner..um, okay."

[Wombat shrugs and pulls a jackhammer out of his pouch.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 December 2011, 13:31:17
[As very loud jackhammer noises, and dust clouds, fill the bar Achoo takes the wreckage of his Savannah Master IIC to a garage to have it repaired, leaving the patrons of the bar to try and deal with Wombat.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 08 December 2011, 14:32:24
~being quite capable of learning from experinec. Remains where he was hideing under a table muttering~ corner. structural support, roof collapse iminent...should have got life insurance.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 December 2011, 15:17:42
[ShadowRaven is, however, somewhat surprised to find a blue fuzzy insurance salesman underneath the table with him. He holds out his card which, other than being filled out with crayon and has drool marks on it, seems legit; his size Extra-small suit coat and off-the-rack hat doesn't inspire confidence.]

"Good day, sir. My name is Hector Smoot and I represent ACME Life Insurance. How do you feel about Life Insurance? Because even if you have some, you can never have enough. Like, for example, what if you got hit over the head with a mallet? Would you be covered?"

[Th blue fuzzy insurance salesman pulls an impossibly-large mallet out of his pouch and whacks ShadowRaven twice.]

*WHACK!*
*WHACK!*


"See there? You could have been under the umbrella of ACME insurance if you'd signed with us earlier. Pity. The sad fact is, the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar isn't safe these days. Why you never know what could happen. Now if you sign today, I'll give you the introductory price of $300,000 C-bills. Add in Rider insurance, Research and Development, belt fees, sandwich fees, fees for fees, and my tip. Did I say tip? I meant tax. That'll be $455,000 C-bills sir. Will that be cash or charge? I'd hurry too, you never know when you could be flattened by a steamroller, hooked by a rope, and dragged by a New York city cab out the door here in the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 08 December 2011, 15:24:34
Yep. I am out of here.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 December 2011, 23:59:11
Sorry, You are never ever really out of her after you are insane, er, stupid, uhm dumb enough to enter this bar.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 09 December 2011, 00:21:15
well, it WAS safer before you arrived.  However, I am afraid I will be quite unable to pay for the insurance you are offering, as I have lost my wallet, my pants, and any way of proveing I am wh I think I am. So why don't you waddle off and try and sell it to someone who is still wearing all of their clothes?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 09 December 2011, 08:30:40
See, this is why I have distinguishing scars. The greatly aid identification. Oddly enough, most are from wounds recieved here. hmmm....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 09 December 2011, 08:58:57
[Wombat, in the meantime, us busily shaking an entire can of chili powder in his rectum.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 09 December 2011, 10:24:30
The advantage of being a Star Trek fan. (Terra-Ble transports out.)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 09 December 2011, 10:29:08
[grabs terra-ble which then causes the transporter to malfunction with the complaint of object too big]. 

I can't leave, neither can you.    >:(
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 09 December 2011, 10:33:08
Come back here coward
*BoP has his orbital artillery fire on Terra-ble as he attempts to leave*

By the way, Wombat, I am going to have to charge you for those skylights I just installed in your bar.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 09 December 2011, 13:34:27
"Um...sure. Okay."

[Wombat pulls Achoo's wallet out of his pouch and hands BirdofPrey some wrinkled C-Bills.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 09 December 2011, 20:46:43
(Terra-ble pulls a grenade out of his pocket.) Well might as well get this over with. (Pulls pin, lets spoon fly, tucks in his shirt, and explodes.)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 09 December 2011, 22:01:12
messy
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 10 December 2011, 00:46:18
well, it WAS safer before you arrived.  However, I am afraid I will be quite unable to pay for the insurance you are offering, as I have lost my wallet, my pants, and any way of proveing I am wh I think I am. So why don't you waddle off and try and sell it to someone who is still wearing all of their clothes?

That's a silly thing to say! And quite untrue. I started this thread. I have been here since BW (before Wombat)!

And the use of orbital bombardment won't work. Weirdo is the gunner!  O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 12 December 2011, 08:55:15
"...wait, there's an orbital bombardment gun now?"

[Wombat leaves the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar. Shortly after leaving, a rocket is heard blasting off into orbit and returning shortly later. Wombat waddles back in holding the orbital bombardment gun.]

"This is going to be much better than playing darts!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 12 December 2011, 10:39:26
Wombat! No WMD's in the bar! Park it outside!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 12 December 2011, 12:59:22
[Wombat pouts.]

"...oh, okay. Fine."

[Wombat puts the WMD in his pouch, where it promptly explodes. Wombat's belly expants 20x its normal size before shrinking back down again.]

*BOOM!!*

"Now that was a spicy meatball!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 12 December 2011, 21:25:37
you know. if science could ever determine what Wombat's pouch is actually made of, it would revolutionise so many industries. From textiles to transportation.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 12 December 2011, 22:49:29
Wombat's pouch works using the twisted logic of toon physics. Completely incompatible with normal textiles to transportation in anything resembling a normal way.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 13 December 2011, 01:00:58
well yes, but that's entirely besides the point.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 December 2011, 01:20:31
Actually, it is the point in an otherwise pointless endeavor to transfer Toon physics to real world physics. All that will result from such useless attempts is the death of more poor defenseless and utterly cute catgirls.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 13 December 2011, 01:22:39
the defenseless ones deserve to die anywa. Now catgirls with the brains and emotional stability to look after themselves.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 December 2011, 10:34:51
They will still die. All the catgirls die. Talk about real world physics in anything BattleTechy or Toontechy just kills them.  ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 13 December 2011, 17:19:41
I prefer to think of it as 'thinning the herd' therefore improveing the lives of those left behind.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 December 2011, 01:17:33
Justify it however you want. Physics equals dead catgirls.  #P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 14 December 2011, 16:34:49
"..physics? Normal? Real world applications?"

[Wombat explodes. Again.]

**KaBOOM!!**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 14 December 2011, 17:38:50
hmm. Apparently Wombat has a bit of CatGiril in the family tree.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 16 December 2011, 14:09:52
[A small puffed piece of Wombat goo oozes out of the bar.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 16 December 2011, 14:49:24
umm?!?  What was that????
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 16 December 2011, 16:36:47
Yeah I'll be right back.
*BoP leaves and comes back 5 minutes later wearing a hazmat suit.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 18 December 2011, 10:58:36
Do you really expect that to protect you? It's far too late for such pitiful measures!

[Bops BoP over his widdle head with a big frying pan]


KABLANG!


oops. Bopped BoP too hard!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 18 December 2011, 14:44:41
*BoP's skull cracks open and wires fall out.*
Oweeeeeeeeeee
You're going to have to
going to have to
going to have to
going to have to
pay pay pay pay
for that d d d d damage.

Prep p p p p pare to d d d d d die
die
die
die

*BoP gets out his anti-materiel rifle and fires it several times at Achoo, missing every shot*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 18 December 2011, 23:42:17
Awwwwwww, you killed the Kareoke machine........thanks!  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 19 December 2011, 08:58:12
Ha ha
v v v v icto
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
*BoP bluescreens and collapses to the floor*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 19 December 2011, 11:19:05
[Sweeps BoP's remains offscreen and calls for the repair crews to repair the damage to thew bar.....................again]

Hello, Achoo here.  
whawhawahwha whawha hahaha
Yes, gesundheit, how very clever of you. I am calling to call in yet another Wombat incident. What happened? He blew up...................again.
blahblahwhahblahmwahblahbleh
No, the damage is not as extensive as last time, but added to the damage from the WMD he insisted on dragging into the bar, which exploded.........
mehwhamehhuh?
why did he do that? Come on, it's Wombat we are talking about here! Destruction is what he does!
nahnowhanehblehblahwhanah
OK, if you refuse to pay for the repairs than I have only one choice. Would you like me to reopen the bar right next door to your headquarters? Well within the Wombat area of effect.
nononononononononoooookwefix

[30 seconds later ACMEtm repair crews show up, there is a flurry of smoke, hammering, sawing, nailing, cussing and flying debris. Two minutes later the repair crews leave a fully repaired club and exit stage right]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 19 December 2011, 11:59:57
*A new BoP enters the bar dragging the old body.*
Hey can you drop this in the fryer?  I'm hungry.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 19 December 2011, 23:48:08
One road kill special coming up!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 20 December 2011, 00:18:53
Achoo is a road?
Well where do you lead then?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 20 December 2011, 01:42:21
Let's just say Achoo can also be said to be'paved with good intentions.'
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 20 December 2011, 02:33:56
That's why you shouldn't have let Wombat take charge of the road crew.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 20 December 2011, 13:44:00
[Wombat runs back into the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar holding a safe clutched in his paws, followed almost immediately by three English policeman holding bobbysticks. A moving truck backs in through the wall and and unloads a piano acomplete with red and white striped-suit piano player who begins to play Keystone cops "Pickles and Peppers" melody while Wombat runs under the tables, over the bar, through Achoo's legs (whoops...there went his replacement pants!) and out the door again.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 December 2011, 14:27:42
I had replacement pants?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 20 December 2011, 14:35:29
apparently....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 December 2011, 14:38:16
Since when?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 20 December 2011, 17:29:38
milliseconds before Wombat swiped them by the looks of things.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 21 December 2011, 09:41:04
[Wombat snuggles the replacement pants.]

"...still warm!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 December 2011, 00:01:44
No, really.....................sisnce whn did I get replacement pants since the last time Wombat stole them?  :o
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 23 December 2011, 02:08:06
perhaps the repair crew replaced them as well when you weren't looking?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 23 December 2011, 10:11:37
"Occasionally I re-pants people just for the joy-joy feeling of de-pantsing them later. I'd call it "gardening", but the truth is I rarely use a rotor-tiller for these sort of operations..."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 December 2011, 12:21:11
Well, I refuse to wear pants! If you do not wear pants, Wombat cannot steal them! So there, evil plan of the blue rat foiled by a simple (and breezy) counter plan! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 24 December 2011, 14:22:54
I tried that, but he moved in under the kilt.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 December 2011, 22:30:32
Who's wearing a kilt?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 25 December 2011, 00:26:10
well I was, once. Before the blue thing decided to make a home underneath.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 25 December 2011, 13:31:12
Never went there. Saw what happened to Wombat Victim number 1.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 25 December 2011, 19:19:45
was that Phacade, or Pagan?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 25 December 2011, 21:41:57
He used to be known as Trueheart.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 December 2011, 03:47:07
never met him. Must have been a horrible end.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 December 2011, 11:17:45
He was Wombat victim number one. And Wombat lived under his kilt.  #P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 December 2011, 23:07:57
I morn for him.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 December 2011, 23:59:23
Oh, he has been seen hereabouts recently, using a new name to hide his identity.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 27 December 2011, 10:13:12
[Wombat, in the meantime, is busily licking the frosting out of ding-dongs.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 27 December 2011, 10:25:25
ding dong the witch is dead?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 27 December 2011, 19:00:44
I can't say I blame him. I know I would try and hide my identity under the circumstances.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 December 2011, 20:41:31
WOMBAT! If you are going to core the Ding Dongs don't put them back in the packaging and put them back on the shelf! Sheesh!







Go throw them at Mopar.  O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 28 December 2011, 11:01:59
[Wombat gets nervous and eats the shelf.]

"...I think I have to go to the bathroom now."

[Wombat crawls up BirdofPrey's shirt.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 December 2011, 11:08:21
Where'd that shirt come from?

Also can somebody bring me some napalm and/or thermite?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 28 December 2011, 11:46:42
[hands BoP a 50 kiloton nuclear warhead with detonator]

here.   This has  very slim chance of cleaning that off. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 December 2011, 12:09:47
Hey! Take that out of the bar! Go Doomsday yourself someplace else!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 December 2011, 12:12:19
Why doesn't your bar have a nuke room?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Demon55 on 28 December 2011, 12:35:24
The lost the lease on the area it was scheduled to be built.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 28 December 2011, 13:10:31
[Wombat appears to have ACME™-glued himself to BirdofPrey's chest.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 December 2011, 14:17:20
We do have a nuke room. It's outside. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay over there.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 December 2011, 14:43:19
Yeah, I have a thing about not having things attached to myself
*Presses detonator switch*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 December 2011, 14:54:25
~puts on his Ray Ban's and watches the lights for the 0.00001 milliseconds it takes for his flesh to be scorched from bones that where instantly bleached white and turned into fine ash and carried away on the tide of nuclear fire~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 28 December 2011, 15:43:56
[A slightly blackened and very naked marsupial sits coughing in the middle of the room. He looks around and sheepishly smiles before pulling a sock out of his pouch and puts it strategically on.]

"...I'd hate to be naked."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 December 2011, 23:41:31
Hello ACME? Achoo here.
gigglegigglehehhehgesundheit!
That was sooooooo not funny long ago. Would you like me to nuke you, sorta like what happened to the Salohma Club..................again.
huhdidwombatdoit?
Technically, no. Somebody was trying to kill Wombat........................again.
hehhehtheyneverlearnnotourproblempbbbbbt
It is now. If you will note the new club is opening up riiiiiiiiight next to your headquarters.
\heyyoucan'tdothat!notfair!
Tough
ohcrapohcrapnonononononononononononono!
Heh heh heh!

[30 second later the new Salohma Club opens up in it's new digs, complete with a slightly blackened and sorta naked marsupial sighting squarely in the middle of the bar on the floor. Than the trap door in the floor opens up and Wombat falls into the basement alligator pit.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 29 December 2011, 08:34:43
*An ACME truck drives 20 feet to the back of the bar.  The driver unloads a crate the says, "Got a package for the Salohma Club, who can sign for it?"*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 29 December 2011, 08:55:07
[Three not-so-bright alligators sign for the package while Wombat, oddly enough missing one of his paws and most of his eyebrows, settles down for a naked spa treatment in a pot of oatmeal on the stovetop.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 29 December 2011, 09:15:16
*A new BoP breaks his way out of the crate as the truck drives away. The obviously new model appears to have been specially engineered to complement the decor of the new bar.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 29 December 2011, 10:35:24
[Wombat begins nosing around with BirdofPrey's new buttons.]

"Whats this? Gravity boots? Nickle-plated can-opener? Carbon fiber flame-thrower? Fur-lined panties? Whoops...wonder if that comes stock?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 29 December 2011, 11:29:17
Should not have gone with buttons there, BoP. Quiaff?  
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 29 December 2011, 11:32:34
I regret nothing.
The panties were half price with the flamethrower, something about the pyro being a woman.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 29 December 2011, 12:02:29
You sound like Hedonismbot. Are you sure your progaming has not been corrupted?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 29 December 2011, 12:10:21
I am an all-purpose construct with emergent programming.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 29 December 2011, 19:51:46
~shadows, in one corner of the room, seem to gather together and after a moment a somewhat nauseated looking SR steps forth~

damn, I hate that effect.  So, lead lined refrigerators this time?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 December 2011, 01:50:49
Nope.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 30 December 2011, 08:30:28
[Wombat, in the meantime, is busily licking lead-based paint off the wall.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 December 2011, 12:28:36
*sigh* I thought lead based paints were banned by the Ares Conventions.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 30 December 2011, 12:49:36
At this point, Wombat is banned by the Ares Conventions.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 30 December 2011, 13:41:29
[BirdofPrey looks down and finds Wombat painting his leg with lead-based paint and then licking it off his kneecaps.]

*slurp*
*slurp*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 30 December 2011, 14:24:11
*BoP hands Wombat a can of plutonium based paint*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 30 December 2011, 15:19:04
"Huh? I hope this goes good with salami."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 31 December 2011, 00:06:26
I'd suggest it more as a pizza sauce, or the base for a pot of chilli
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 December 2011, 08:14:33
That sounds like a lot of bologna to me.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 31 December 2011, 08:23:03
**Orbitting high above**
Terra-ble: What do you mean they rebuilt it? Good lord don't those people know what they are doing? OK, look, we tried going Terran all over this thing and it just keeps coming back. I think it is time to call in the Regulans. Get us to the jumppoint and send the message. MAKE FOR DAMN SURE we are out off here before the Regulans arrive to sterilize the world. Damn shame the Raven's don't do this work anymore. THEY were professional.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 31 December 2011, 08:29:25
*Terra-ble recieves a transmission from BoP's orbital carrier.*
Attention unidentified spacecraft.  This area is under our jurisdiction, submit IFF codes or prepare to be boarded.
*a flight of fighter drones and pair of boarding pods launch from the carrier towards Terra-ble*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 31 December 2011, 10:42:00
[Wombat also appears overhead. Unfortunately he doesn't have a helmet and appears to have to pee...]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 December 2011, 21:09:04
I told you guys that big catapult would come in handy some day!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 31 December 2011, 22:31:08
let it be noted that I for one never doubted the usefulness of medieval siege weaponry. I'm just a little surprised it got used so soon after this place was rebuilt.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 31 December 2011, 22:43:33
pft, catapults.

The only proper way to throw something is with a trebuchet.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 01 January 2012, 00:20:12
well, I must confess to having a fondness for mangonels myself
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 01 January 2012, 12:17:37
[Wombat, in the meantime, appears to be acting out a scene from Every Which way but Loose.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 01 January 2012, 12:19:38
Right turn Wombat
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 January 2012, 01:57:12
Wombat does not do right turns. Just varying degrees of wrong turns.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 January 2012, 03:49:29
"I'm told three lefts makes a right...but somehow I always end up with a taco supreme served on top of a Justin Bieber album with extra sour cream."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 02 January 2012, 10:28:40
**to crew** I don't care if it is dangerous to jump from orbit, do you think it will be less dangerous to have Wombat aboard.

**Ship jumps**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 January 2012, 11:41:23
*fine. You scared the ship. Did it leave the crew behind when it fled in terror?*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 January 2012, 12:09:51
[The ship is clearly heard yelling "YIPE! YIPE! YIPE!" before jumping into regions unknown.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 02 January 2012, 13:45:08
Please be advised there is an alert out for information regarding the the whereabouts of the THS McKenna's Middle Finger and its captian, known only as Terra-ble. The ship, Terra-ble and the crew have not been seen for some time and are presumed lost.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 02 January 2012, 14:06:35
they wouldn't be lost if they would listen to the bridge bunnies when the tell them to stop and ask for directions.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 02 January 2012, 14:17:10
*BoP's assault carrier closes its radiator vanes and drifts off in silent running mode, the crew content to sit there as the interior heats up if it means going unnoticed.  By unanimous decision the troops and fighters can not be allowed to lead wombat back to the ship, and are remote detonated as close to Wombat as possible.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 January 2012, 01:17:02
Well, while Wombat is in low orbit it's time to have a drink and watch him burn up during reentry.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 03 January 2012, 01:27:17
Does Wombat actually burn up on reentry, or does he just turn black and leave a hole in the ground when he hits?

What we really need to do is teach Wombat that trick where he drinks a gallon of gasoline and then swallows a lit match.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 January 2012, 02:22:56
He calls that indigestion. Complete with a bender-like belch.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 03 January 2012, 02:36:49
Well all the other cartoons always claim they can only do that trick once?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 03 January 2012, 08:26:41
"...say, this gives me an idea. No wait. Lost it."

[Wombat attempts to swan dive into the kitchen sink.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 January 2012, 12:44:04
I hate it when there is a scene change like that. First he is waaaaaaaaay up there, than he is right here. Oh well.

[Turns the garbage disposal on]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 03 January 2012, 13:05:57
[A quick re-read of the script, which will have to be Achoo since Wombat can't read, reveals that Wombat was up there and was attempting to swan dive into the sink from up there.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 January 2012, 18:16:48
[Well, the garbage disposal, er, the sink is waiting! Get with it!]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 04 January 2012, 09:22:30
[Wombat smiles a big toothy grin as he tucks his ears underneath a swim cap and straps some googles to his widdle fuzzy face. Wombat raises his paws high above his head as he plummets down towards the sink, hoping to get a good scoring from the East German judge.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 04 January 2012, 09:30:32
*At the same time, BoP pulls the plug and drains the sink.  He also turns the garbage disposal on.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 January 2012, 10:59:59
You idiot! You turned it off! I had already turned it on and got the sink ready for WomSplat! Sheesh!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 04 January 2012, 14:24:29
[Oddly enough, Wombat misses the sink entirely and dives down Achoo's throat, *gulp*, where he finds himself in the belly of the beast. Wombat lights a candle and looks around.]

"Sheesh...Achoo really should eat more fiber."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 04 January 2012, 14:51:26
~comes out wearing a lab coat, and stethoscope~ Oh, Oh Achoo. I am so sorry. I'm afraid it's terminal.  ~rolls in one of those old cartoon style X-ray machines that clearly shows a skeletal outline of wombat doing horribly unspeakable things to Achoo's digestive tract.~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 January 2012, 00:51:01
That's not setting well..........crap!

[Achoo runs into the restroom with a very concerned look on his face, turns on the exhaust fan (which sounds like a taxiing C-130) and spends 20 minutes trying to pass that huge blue Womturd. The screaming is horrendous, both from Achoo and Womturd. Finally Achoo passes the horrible blue Womturd and flushes the toilet five times, beating Womturd down the drain using the plunger very, very enthusiastically.]

Wow, that....hurt! I hate it when something like that crawls out of your ass, kicking and screaming!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 05 January 2012, 01:33:20
~tosses a magnesium flare into the bathroom~ in some cases lighting a match just isn't enough
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 05 January 2012, 08:40:30
[Wombat looks up at Achoo.]

"Are you my mother?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 January 2012, 12:12:30
No, but that hurt like a mother!


[pummels Wombat back down into the toilet with the plunger and flushes the toilet again]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 05 January 2012, 13:11:32
"I'll be back...."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 05 January 2012, 14:41:43
wait? was that "I'll be Bacon"? Wombat is going to get smoked?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 January 2012, 21:16:40
Donno. This is Wombat we are talking about here. Anything is possible.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 06 January 2012, 10:37:50
that was the wrong toilet.   It doesn't send crap to the fusion reactor. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 January 2012, 00:08:41
We don't have one of those. The feedback from those literally burns your ass off.  
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 08 January 2012, 00:22:03
but think of the savings on t.p. alone
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 January 2012, 11:21:41
Let's see........use T.P. to wipe my but................use a horrific fireball to burn my ass off.........................I'll go with the paper, thank you.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 08 January 2012, 11:38:49
Just remember to light the paper on fire.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 10 January 2012, 21:33:07
I'll leave that to you.  O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 11 January 2012, 13:54:31
[An ACME deliveryman stops a truck outside and walks up to Achoo, handing him a package.]

"Package for Achoo."

[Achoo opens the package only to find a smiling marsupial inside. Smiling real big. With a frying pan in his paws. Really big smile. Really large frying pan. Que the Alfred Hitchcock music.]

**BLANG!!**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 11 January 2012, 14:27:23
why is the Alfred Hitchcock music all standing in a line going nowhere?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Terra-ble on 11 January 2012, 19:01:37
Hey Wombat, I got a whole flock of Birds Of Prey on the Black Lion, and they are yours if your spruce up my avatar.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 12 January 2012, 01:08:55
Hy don no, hy god a fwadden faash han wun hella hedake. *thud*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 March 2012, 01:56:14
Whoa.....that......hurt. What day is it?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 10 March 2012, 14:52:56
10th of March. You where really out for a while.....umm, how's your back, any itching? pain like a bunch of small needles injected something, say..ink?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 18 March 2012, 13:07:17
No. just lots of dehydration, traffic cones, a car of dubious ownership, a couple of BattleMechs that I don't recognize....no tatoos.  
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 18 March 2012, 13:41:13
Did you perchance try one of BoP Industries' Extra Strength Roofies?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 18 March 2012, 17:44:06
why does BoP Industries make extra strength date-rape drugs?  Oh who cares, I'm just going to call in a few tactical air strikes just to be on the safe side.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 19 March 2012, 05:07:21
We make extra strength everything.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 19 March 2012, 12:14:54
Extra strength is not always the.............wait a tic???? Tactical Air Strikes??????

Better turn the automated anti-aircraft/anti-dropship/anti-warship defenses back on.......
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 19 March 2012, 13:10:43
not here, that tac strikes are on BoP's extra strength date rape drug manufacturing facility.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 19 March 2012, 19:57:46
My AA guns also come in extra strength.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 20 March 2012, 00:12:36
good to know I'll send in the kamikaze drones first.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 20 March 2012, 15:30:31
[Wombat, sleeping in the salad bar again, wakes up and (for no reason whatsoever) bites ShadowRaven on the butt.]

*CLAMP!*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 20 March 2012, 16:14:43
YOOOOUCH!!!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 20 March 2012, 18:08:36
Need some extra strength Novocaine?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 20 March 2012, 19:33:05
no I do not want my ass to go numb for the next week.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 March 2012, 00:29:24
Actually, it's more like being eaten and slobbered on right now..... ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 21 March 2012, 06:59:58
"Anwwf mft jnni mmf mmfce?"

*translation* (since Wombat hasn't let go) "Anyone got any soy sauce?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 21 March 2012, 08:23:31
I'll have an industrial sized crate airdropped on you momentarily.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 March 2012, 11:04:47
Shadowbird, your butt is now a Wombat chew toy!








Better him than me!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 21 March 2012, 14:38:36
s'alright. I'm used to getting my ass chewed out, though ussually it's by angry bosses and pissy customers.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 March 2012, 23:43:06
Word.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 23 March 2012, 15:32:55
"...hmm. Tastes like chicken."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Mastergunz on 23 March 2012, 15:49:54
So I says to myself "Self, lets drop on by here and see what this thread is about....'. I came in about the part Wombat bit someone on the ass.... seems like a fun place to hang out.  >:D So whats on tap?

-Gunz
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 23 March 2012, 18:30:07
[Wombat drops his ShadowRaven chewtoy which, ironically, makes a squeaky noise as it hits the floor. Wombat smiles a big toothy grin as he notices what every maniacal hellbent Marsupial loves to see; somebody...new. Oddly enough, a spotlight seems to shine down on Mastergunz (and he appears to be standing on a giant saucer).]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 23 March 2012, 18:59:01
~the squeaky was as much from pain as anything as Sr looked over at Gunz and did his best to convey, wordlessly that he should run away as fast as he can.~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Mastergunz on 23 March 2012, 19:42:21
This is like one of those scenes from an old western where the piano suddenly stops and all eyes turn to see the 'new guy' standing in the doorway. Only instead of rough and tumble bandito's im confronted with a crazed man-eating marsupial, a human chew toy and a very frightened looking bird....

'Hey guys, why is there a dinner plate on the floor the size of a wagon wheel? And what's with the spotlight?!' (See's Wombat, nervously glances towards SR as a pool of blood spreads out on the floor. Begin's slowly backing out...) 'Think ima go now...'

-Gunz
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 March 2012, 23:27:20
Don't run. You will only be mangled, mitilated, spindled, folded, etc. etc. etc. while tired. Her, drink this. It won't dull the pain, but you won't care.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 25 March 2012, 08:35:19
"...hmm. Tastes like chicken."
That ain't right.  The crate I dropped on you was supposed to cover your food with the taste of soy.

So I says to myself "Self, lets drop on by here and see what this thread is about....'. I came in about the part Wombat bit someone on the ass.... seems like a fun place to hang out.  >:D So whats on tap?

-Gunz
Crazeale.

Whayever you do, don't run, it only triggers Wombat's chase reflex. . . I think.
Regardless, stay right where you are *Paints Mastergunz for orbital bombardment with spotting laser, and calculates time-to-wombat*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 25 March 2012, 20:31:57
BoP, to Wombat everything that is not a blue urinal cake tastes like chicken! Except chicken..... }:)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Falchion on 25 March 2012, 21:10:29
A lone Falchion wanders in and looks around.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 25 March 2012, 22:04:15
right chicken tastes more like pink urinal cakes to Wombat.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Falchion on 26 March 2012, 00:14:26
Finding no opposition, Falchion sidles off into a secluded corner of the thread. A few minutes later, several Falchions wearing black leather jackets saunter out of the corner and settle down at the bar.

"We'll have a round of Maiden's Tears and some lead chips to start, please."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 26 March 2012, 01:04:42
Two can play that game
*A half dozen BoP's enter through the front door and sit down at the bar*
We'll have three shots of jack, and a salohamartini for each of us.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 March 2012, 15:03:40
[Wombat, now dressed in a blood-red tu-tu (with matching tights, of course) smiles a big toothy grin at Mastergunz. Wombat pulls an improbably-large chalkboard out of his pouch and superglues it to Achoo's back.]

"Don't move."

[Wombat proceeds to draw an elaborate series of pullies, levers, speeding taxi cabs, and half-a-dozen doomsday devices. Wombat smiles and nods when his drawing is complete. Oddly enough, Wombat nodding makes a ping-pong ball inside an empty coffee can sound. Wombat takes the chalkboard off Achoo's back, ignoring the oblitigory screaming, and looks at Mastergunz...and then at a stopwatch.]

Wombat: "...three...two...um, what comes after two?"
Achoo: "Squid."
Wombat: *snaps* "...thats right. Squid."

[Almost immediately, Mastergunz is crushed by three container ships falling out of the sky, all carrying squid.]

*BLAM!*
*BLAM!*
*BLAM!*


[Wombat waddles into the mountain-high pile of squid and twisted metal and waddles back out with Mastergunz pants, his wallet, and keys to his 'mech.]

"You know, I could have sworn that Tuna fish came after two."

[Immediately, 17 million tons of tuna fish (complete with mayonaise) is dumped on Mastergunz as well. Wombat smiles a big toothy grin, puts on a bib, and begins to lick the tunafish and mayonaise off Mastergunz.]

*slurp-slurp-slurp-slurp...*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 26 March 2012, 17:10:06
NOW
*BoP pulls the trigger of the target designator causing a dozen warships to open fire on the location he was aiming at.  His work done (for now) he joins his clones at the bar.*
I'll have a gallon of your best moonshine.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Mastergunz on 26 March 2012, 17:47:48
(Coming to a simblance of conciousness) "What the heck just happened?! Where did all this tunafish come from and more importantly where are my pants?!" (Looks down to notice Wombat licking mayonaise off his naked thigh) "On second thought, nevermind. ACHOO, whatever was in that drink, give me another." (pulls a small black box with a big red button on it from out of nowhere) "And they called me a fool for buying this off that one legged Canopian.... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* 

(Everyone in the bar suddenly grows cat ears and a tail)

"Well that was unexpected...."

-Gunz

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 March 2012, 18:50:57
Unexpected, maybe. Unusually, not really. Wombat was involved somehow. And why is the bar twenty map sheets over there getting pounded by an orbital bombardment? Somebody must have let Weirdo at the fire control console again.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Falchion on 26 March 2012, 23:51:17
One of the Falchions looks at their new ears and tails. "Oh, no..." he groans with dread.

With a distorted MIDI of a hunting horn accompanying them, a pack of Falchions riding lobotomized and steroided Falchion cubs enters the thread. Wielding box cutters and slingshots loaded with box cutters, they chase down the Falchions at the bar and hack them to pieces before tying the severed heads to their saddles and climbing off. They walk over to the bar.

"A pint of battery acid and human babies for everyone for this successful hunt!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 March 2012, 14:12:38
Sorry Falchion. Club rules. Only one iteration of you form can be in the bar at any ont time. Any copies will be summarily executed. Only one Falchion can be in the club. The rest gotto go.  
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 27 March 2012, 14:24:52
Well cleaning time.  Come on guys, let's go.
*The dozen BoPs at the bar get up and load their guns.*
Time to go Falchion hunting
*The BoPs open fire, several grenades are thrown*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 27 March 2012, 15:46:15
The now cat-eared shadowraven pulls out a small device with a big red button. Sighing melodramatically he pushes the plunger....and nothing happens. Several long seconds pass, turning into minutes, Shakeing his head he tosses away the remote which bounces twice before skidding off into the leg of a chair, knocking a napkin off which drift lightly to settle on the button. When it does the entire front of the bar explodes in fire and shrapnel shredding their way through the Falchion horde.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Falchion on 27 March 2012, 16:36:08
"We're not iterations... We're, er, hats!"

"Yeah, we're hats! Put us on your heads!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Mastergunz on 27 March 2012, 19:44:27
Miraculously enough, 'Ah Leah' by Donnie Iris starts playing on the jukbox in the corner and the remains of the Falchion horde begin melting into soupy puddles of pink goo.  >:D

-Gunz
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 27 March 2012, 19:59:39
*The BoPs that don't collapse from shrapnel induced damage turn toward ShadowRaven*
That's alcohol abuse.
ATTACK!
*Shadowraven is suddenly mobbed*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 March 2012, 02:14:19
BoP! The same applies to you! The one of you with the highest serial number gets to stay! The rest got to go. But, to be nice, I will give a case of Timbiqui dark to the excess BoP's to take care of the excess Falchions.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Falchion on 30 March 2012, 10:55:58
"And I shall offer you cases of the finest and purest grain alcohol to take care of these excess posters!" Falchion says, offering a large crate of Everclear to BirdofPrey.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 March 2012, 13:08:23
[Looks around to see if this Falchion is the last one in the bar. Noting several other Falchions Achoo pulls out his Pangalactic Hyperhammer, sets it to "Splat Gods" and swings away!]

KERSPLAT!

Now where was I......oh yes. Drinking!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 30 March 2012, 13:53:04
[...sadly, and far too late to do anything about it, Achoo realizes he's been drinking Wombat-brand Lemonade.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 30 March 2012, 14:15:41
~wipes some splattered pinkness from his face with an expression of utter disgust~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 31 March 2012, 12:10:23
BoP! The same applies to you! The one of you with the highest serial number gets to stay! The rest got to go. But, to be nice, I will give a case of Timbiqui dark to the excess BoP's to take care of the excess Falchions.
"And I shall offer you cases of the finest and purest grain alcohol to take care of these excess posters!" Falchion says, offering a large crate of Everclear to BirdofPrey.
*BoP considers this to be sufficient enticement and pulls the pin on his nuclear hand grenade*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 31 March 2012, 12:55:53
~hides in the lead lined refrigerator~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 March 2012, 22:10:03
Crap. Here we go again! [Exits, stage right]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Falchion on 01 April 2012, 00:59:47
Much to ShadowRaven's dismay, the places where splattered Falchion had landed on his face is starting to itch and develop into rather large lumps. It appears that he has a case of Falchions.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 02 April 2012, 02:38:53
knowing there is nothing for it. ShadowRaven opens the fridge, steps out calmly. Punches BoP in the face, takes the nuclear hand grenade and returns to the lead lined fridge. Closeing the door, takeing note how the light does in fact go out, and whispers in what little latin he knows. In proper cartoon physics, the fridge suddenly bulges but doesn't burst. then the door swings slowly open and smoke wafts forth, nothing of the refrigerators original contents remaining.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 April 2012, 09:55:29
Aw, man! That was a perfectly good refrigerator!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Falchion on 03 April 2012, 01:41:38
"Nothing but cheap paper mache," Falchion says, walking over and putting a fist through the side of the still-smoking fridge. When he withdraws it, his floof starts to glow. "I don't feel so good..."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 03 April 2012, 03:14:42
Where's my mushroom cloud?  They gave me a one hundred percent satisfaction guarantee I would see a mushroom cloud.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 April 2012, 01:37:32
That sounds like a Clang-A-Corp advertisement....no wonder the fridge didn't blow apart. It's ACME. Still cheap, but not as cheap.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 October 2012, 13:52:19
[Wombat yawns and falls out of the salad bar (which was probably not up to Clang-a-Corp standards, but then again, what is?) and falls into the soup of the day.]

*sniff*
*sniff*


"This soup tastes horrible! It tastes like...'mech actuator. Actually thats not a bad gimmick. Still, needs more cat."

[Wombat begins pulling random things, explosives, and the occasional lost hitchhiker out of his pouch in an effort to "jazz up" the soup of the day.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 08 October 2012, 14:56:56
Unbeknownst to wombat, we secretly replaced the soup of the day with an acid cocktail.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 October 2012, 15:19:01
"...goodness this soup is going right through me."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 October 2012, 18:29:50
Is that melting Wombat that I smell?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 08 October 2012, 18:45:36
that or moldy gym socks. Kinda hard to tell the difference
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 October 2012, 19:01:36
You do have a point there. Oh well, time to refill the beer pretzel jars so I can refill my beer.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 08 October 2012, 19:37:35
My research department has taken some skin samples from Wombat, and determined that it is partially composed of moldy gym socks, so that explains the smell.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 October 2012, 10:48:28
Are you sure that you did not just get clippings from Wombat's Wombat suit?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 09 October 2012, 15:42:53
I'd ask the intern who took the samples, but whatever was in them turned her into a cartoon and she escaped quarantine.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 October 2012, 16:04:34
Naturally. Well, nothing about Wombat can actually be considered normal, but too much exposure to Wombat can toon you.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 09 October 2012, 16:31:58
which isn't so bad. it is part of the reason most of us are still alive, well those of you not comprised entirely of shadows, bad puns, and fractured humor
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 October 2012, 18:33:49
Bad puns and fractured humor are the very foundations of the MechWarrior Hall itself. Do not belittle them, young Padawan apprentice.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 09 October 2012, 20:23:36
Is that why all the buildings are sinking?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 09 October 2012, 20:35:10
might be. Or it could be that around here no one knows what a building code even is, let alone how to meet it
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 October 2012, 23:37:47
Love the new avatar there ShadowRaven!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 09 October 2012, 23:39:48
thanks, I stole it
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 October 2012, 23:48:09
As did we all.  O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 10 October 2012, 00:10:47
but of course
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 10 October 2012, 12:07:11
[Wombat, now in the process of rubbing toothpaste and grape jelly on his nipples, accidently falls through into the sink and gets his bottom stuck in the drain. Water begins filling the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar. Again. Wombat stuggles a bit and then shrugs and begins to lick his nipple clean.]

"...can't waste perfectly good toothpaste and grape jelly, after all."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 10 October 2012, 12:24:46
[As the flood alarm sounds Achoo heads for the kitchen, rapidly assesses the situation, and turns on the ACME super industrial strength Garbage Dosposal Ultra 2000. As Wombat gets sucked down into the drain, Achoo smiles and wanders away.]

....cant waste such a gloden opportunity, after all.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 10 October 2012, 13:26:53
[The sink smiles as it chews methodically and then slows down and gets a funny look on its face. The sink looks around the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar and struggles to keep its "mouth" closed. Its eyes start to water as it chews Wombat more and more slowely until, after a bit, it stops altogether. The sink looks nervously around as its lips begin to quiver.


"Ble..."

"Bleh..."

"PA-TOOEY!!"

[The sink spits out Wonbat, along with three knifes and what appears to be spoiled jello surprise, out ito the air. Wombat, now wearing an Olympic-approved diving suit, does a backwards two-and-a-half flip dive in mid air and "splashes" down ShadowRaven's underpants. The spoiled jello surprise and the knifes land on BirdofPrey's kneecaps. The sink smiles sheepishly and says something about hating bitter marsupial mouth.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 10 October 2012, 14:26:47
~sighs reluctantly and holds up his score card reading 8.9~ it was a good dive after all, a shame about the landing, these where my good skivvines. Thankfully I opted to wear the brown trousers today
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 10 October 2012, 21:38:39
How did Wombat know my weak point?  or that it dissolves on jello?

The grievousness of these injuries demand only one outcome *BoP explodes in a mushroom cloud and a new body is delivered via orbital shock drop*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 10 October 2012, 21:43:07
Wombat does not "need" to know your weak points. Wombat just unnaturally manages to "find" them.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 11 October 2012, 07:25:21
[Its about this time Achoo realizes he's missing his wallet...and his left butt cheek.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 11 October 2012, 09:44:58
Crap! Lost my ass again!





Time to go regenerate.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 12 October 2012, 07:17:13
"Ohh! Can I pick your bum this time? How about a Captain Lou Albano butt?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 12 October 2012, 07:22:32
**Wombat prepares the ACME™ 3000 Butt-o-Matic**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 12 October 2012, 13:59:16
give him something with less hair this time
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 12 October 2012, 20:50:44
"...something with less hare?"

(http://www.neatorama.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/bugs-bunnyreclining-499x367.jpg)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 12 October 2012, 22:40:53
exactly
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 October 2012, 18:29:20
I invited the I_Hate_Wombat_Because_Because_Because_Because_Because Because_Of_The_Horrible_Things_He_Does! Club over for a bit fun run chasing down Wombat so that we can tar and feather him.



And here they come!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 14 October 2012, 00:23:34
Achoo, you are seriously creeping me out with that avatar
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 October 2012, 00:28:22
What? It's just a clown, after all! ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 14 October 2012, 00:29:07
exactly
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 14 October 2012, 00:54:18
Oh god
Kill it
KILL IT NOW
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 October 2012, 01:54:58
 ^-^
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 15 October 2012, 12:22:51
[A comic-ish creampie splatters Achoo in the face. Wombat begins to lick it off.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 October 2012, 13:01:18
Yuck! Ick! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww! [Tosses Wombat onto SharowRaven]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 15 October 2012, 15:22:23
"Ah, my plan has come full circle!"

[Wombat proceeds to suck the life out of ShadowRaven.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 October 2012, 23:56:35
Whoops. My bad, dude. But self preservation and all......
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 16 October 2012, 00:13:53
........ #P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 16 October 2012, 03:23:14
Only the good die young. SR'll be fine!

*famous last words*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 October 2012, 13:15:31
Not as famous as "Y'all watch this!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 16 October 2012, 13:55:21
~at those 'famoud words' SR sits bolt upright and grabs his video camera ready for another Youtube 'classic'~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 16 October 2012, 20:34:21
For your next trick do you plan on drinking a gallon of gasoline then swallowing a match?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 17 October 2012, 10:25:16
[Wombat raises his paw enthusiastically.]

"Oh! Pick me! Me!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 18 October 2012, 16:09:29
Me! Pick ME!!  


Me...me....me!!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 18 October 2012, 20:02:23
First person here who explodes, catches fire snaps in half, or just falls to pieces wins a ride in the ACME ambulance.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 18 October 2012, 21:59:52
~lights his cigar with a flamethrower, while seated on a leaking keg of black powder~

say that sounds like a good deal
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 18 October 2012, 22:05:16
Who are we going to pick?  
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 19 October 2012, 07:24:04
**Wombat randomly explodes**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 19 October 2012, 09:03:35
Did you guys hear something? It sounded like a petulant explosion.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 19 October 2012, 10:36:30
A winner is you.
Hey Acme, Achoo is next to the third window, come on through there.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 19 October 2012, 12:39:23
[...the sound of sirens can be heard dropping in from above.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 19 October 2012, 18:48:29
~opens a comically small umbrella as an ambulance crashes through the ceiling, raining debris and the occasional anvil down upon all gathered~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 19 October 2012, 20:47:54
SONOFABI*The ambulance lands on BoP crushing him as flat as a pancake*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 19 October 2012, 21:01:31
[Achoo stumbles past with an anvil sitting on the growing lump on his head]

Sup, dude dere! Right on! Mah' dojigger be mud! Right on! Dere wuz some dud! Right on! On mah' haid! Right on! Ow, so cut me some slack, Jack. Ohhh, an ambulance. An ACME ambulance! Right on! Why be de ambulance crashed into dat crata' on de ground? ah' have some haidache and ah' dink ah' need t'pass out now, so cut me some slack, Jack. Nighty night! Right on!

[Thud]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 20 October 2012, 08:41:55
<<THE DIRECTORS OF THIS SHOW WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT, IN THE FUTURE, THE ACME™ CORPORATION IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ACCIDENTS IN THE EVENT OF ORBITAL DROPPED AMBULANCES AND WOULD LIKE FOLKS TO KNOW THAT TERMINAL VELOCITY IS STILL THE QUICKEST WAY TO BECOME TERMINAL>>
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 October 2012, 13:58:58
<<ACMETM INTERRUPTS THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED MAYHEM OF THE SALOHMA CLUB & MECHWARRIOR BAR TO ALLOW FOR THE REPAIR AND REPLACEMENT OF THE DAMAGED SETS OF THE SHOW. IN THE MEANTIME PLEASE VIEW THE FOLLOWING PUBLIC SERVICE ANOUNCEMENT.>>
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 22 October 2012, 07:50:51
"It just warms my heart..."

*sniff*
*sniff*


"...okay, who lit me on fire again?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 October 2012, 08:04:58
Don't know. I am busy working on the repairs to the set.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 22 October 2012, 10:37:47
*Folds up heat-ray dish and puts it away.*
dunno.  Could have been anyone.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 22 October 2012, 11:23:08
Wombat: "Well the pain is excruciating. Whats the word I am looking for?"
BirdofPrey: "Ouch?"
Wombat: "Thats it. Ouch."


"YOWCH!!!"

[The theme music changes to a 1920's dualing piano music as a flaming marsupial runs around the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar, yelping and crying out for someone to put him out. Eventually Wombat pulls a large jar of some liquid out of his pouch and tries to read it before dumping it on himself. Unfortunately he can't read so he shrugs and dumps kerosene all overhimself and then jumps in ShadowRaven's pants.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 October 2012, 11:52:17
Well, that is a new definition of hot roasted nuts.  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 22 October 2012, 12:50:41
*smell of bacon burning*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 22 October 2012, 13:30:04
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire........GAAAAAAAh!!!

Starts beating out the flaming wombat in his pants, until he misses. At which point his eyes roll back in his head, and he passes out
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 22 October 2012, 20:46:52
Alright.  Now Wombat has gone too far.
I am calling shenanigans.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 23 October 2012, 10:31:41
"A) You can never go too far. B) If I get caught on fire and beat inside someone's pants, it is not going to be by a guy like that."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 October 2012, 23:21:56
C) It was fun to watch ShadowRaven using his own nards as a punching bag.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 23 October 2012, 23:29:31
Fine.  I'm calling shenanigans on this whole thread.
*BoP gets a detonator out of his coat pocket and inserts it into the worlds largest flash bang*
*the last thing everyone sees and hears is BoP laughing maniacally*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 24 October 2012, 01:05:41
~a dazzled, but mostly unharmed SR yells out through the smoke~DO YOU THINK HE'S GONE FOR GOOD THIS TIME???
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 October 2012, 01:09:38
WHAT DID YOU SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 24 October 2012, 01:11:16
WHAT??
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 24 October 2012, 01:18:41
MY EYES THE GOGGLES DID NOTHING.
MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE USED THE REMOTE TRIGGER.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 October 2012, 10:16:00
REMOVE TIGGER? WHAT DOES WINNIE THE POOH HAVE TO DO WITH THIS, AND WHY IS TIGGER HERE? AND WHY ARE YOU GOOGLING HIM?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 24 October 2012, 11:09:13
[In the explosion, Wombat somehow mistook ShadowRaven's bellybutton for a marsupial pouch and crawled inside.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 24 October 2012, 11:14:01
(For the record this is making my work day  #P )
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 24 October 2012, 19:37:35
OH GOD OH GOD, WHY IS WOMBAT INSIDE ME???
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 24 October 2012, 20:02:28
*having recovered from the effects of what used to be the world'ss largest flash-bang, BoP looks at SR and gets his shotgun*
Wow, that looks serious; I think we're gonna have to put ShadowRaven down.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 25 October 2012, 00:23:52
OK, let me go first.

ShadowRaven, calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d had enough oxygen at birth?

I don’t know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

Were those good enough put downs?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 25 October 2012, 00:26:03
Bah, you can't insult me, I've been insulted by professionals
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 25 October 2012, 00:32:24
Well, I cannot use any of the really good insults.  :P


They violate quite a few of the rules of this site.  O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 25 October 2012, 00:37:42
a valid point
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 25 October 2012, 00:49:06
*Shoots SR because it's the humane thing to do to put him out of his misery*
*Shoots achoo because it's the humane thing to do to put us out of our misery*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: TigerShark on 25 October 2012, 02:10:59
What's a "Salohma?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 25 October 2012, 08:06:05
[The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Wombat smells Tigershark and pokes his widdle fuzzy head out of ShadowRaven's belly button. He sniffs the air a few times and, pulling a stepladder out of his pouch, proceeds to crawl down and exit the belly button. Exactly 2 seconds later, Bird of Prey's shots hit ShadowRaven.]

*BLAM!*
*BLAM!*


[As ShadowRaven gets blasted against the wall, Hot Shots Part Deux style, Wombat waddles up to TigerShark and gives him a good sniffing. Wombat closes his eyes for a moment and thinks for a moment. Naturally this action causes a little smoke to come out of his ears until a toaster sound is heard and two slices of buttered whole wheat pops out of Wombat's head.]

                            *ding*

[Wombat smiles a toothy grin at TigerShark and handcuffs himself to Tigershark, and then opens up his pouch, refrigerator style, and pulls out an extra-large bowl of Achoo's finest Chili Inferno IIC and proceeds shovel it into his mouth in lightening speed. Wombat belches a few flames and then smiles another toothy grin at Tigershark. Wombat's belly begins rumbling, sounding very much like a old tractor that just won't start....]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 25 October 2012, 10:05:09
RUN AWAY!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 25 October 2012, 10:38:49
Will you excuse me for a moment, I need to check that my CBRN filters are working correctly.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 25 October 2012, 21:49:04
Me, I am checking out before WomBomb explodes.






Again.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 October 2012, 07:28:38
*Boom*

"....eh? Must have been a dud."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 26 October 2012, 08:14:06
Cheque Please! NOW!

(Don't many volcanoes have a warning burp?)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 October 2012, 09:24:06
[Wombat cheques SethsMatches. Naturally the giant Sharpie marker doesn't hurt too bad, but running SethMatches through the check-cashing machine hurts pretty bad.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 26 October 2012, 09:42:44
Amidst the anguish a thought rises unbidden...

*So this is what a barcode feels like*

... returns to anguish...ment.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 October 2012, 10:43:08
How...........................semi-horrific!  [watch]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 26 October 2012, 10:45:59
You call that an explosion?
==self-destruct sequence activated==
BOOM
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 October 2012, 10:47:48
meh.      Your flashbang was louder and brighter.  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 October 2012, 10:58:14
"...it tickled my hindquarters."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 October 2012, 11:02:13
NOT going there!  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 26 October 2012, 11:12:43
You've got mail

from:BirdofPrey
to: The Mighty ACHOO
Subject: re: explosion
meh.      Your flashbang was louder and brighter.  8)
but less shrapnel, and it didn't catch the ceiling on fire.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 October 2012, 11:21:38
[Wombat shrugs and puts his head in his own pouch for a few moments. When he pulls his head out again, it appears to be green.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 26 October 2012, 11:25:39
*The doorbell rings, aparently FedEx has brought what appears to be a flat packed BoP, the instructions are in Swedish.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 October 2012, 12:20:46
[Wombat grabs the package and tears open the package. Sadly since Wombat cannot read (any language) he attempts to guess what the instructions say.]

"...well clearly it says to attach the mouth hole to an angry possum and then beat both furiously with a broom, all while listening to the Pet Shop Boys. Sounds clear enough."

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 October 2012, 12:52:50
LOL! This is NOT going to end well!

















Here, I have the broom.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 26 October 2012, 14:00:14
*Whap.*

                                            *WHAP!*

*Whapp-ity Whapp-ity Whapp-ity*

                           *WHAP!*

       *WHAP!!*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 October 2012, 18:03:14
~digs out an old "Pet Shop Boys" cassette~

What Have I done to Deserve This......that sounds appropriate
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 26 October 2012, 20:15:14
Have you tried looking at the diagrams?

Does anyone here actually know how to assemble Ikea furniturerobots?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 26 October 2012, 20:50:52
yes, but the hex key is missing
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 26 October 2012, 20:59:30
I am supposed to come in three boxes; did you check all of them?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 October 2012, 23:42:33
We got two. Is that a problem?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 27 October 2012, 01:57:52
Only if you want your BoP unit to have arms, integral weaponry and an automated espresso maker and hot water dispenser along with the tools to assemble said BoP (note: while the boxes you do have contain the beer cooler, the beverage service reactor that is supposed to power it mounts to the left shoulder and thus, is in the box with the arms)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 27 October 2012, 08:28:29
[Wombat can be seen running around with a Bird of Prey arm he is using as a back scratcher.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 October 2012, 09:34:38
Since you are incomplete we will call you Bo. Bo the back scratcher.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 27 October 2012, 12:43:54
"...feels great scratching your unmentionables too."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 27 October 2012, 12:47:44
I don't have any unmentionables "probably-should-not-mentionables" on the other hand....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 October 2012, 12:31:43
*A BoP Industries tech arrives with the remaining box and quickly assembles the flat pack BoP, fills the espresso machine and stores a six pack in the BoP compact beer coolerTM before leaving*
Uh wombat, that arm appears to be off of one of my models from six months ago, do I even want to know why you had that in your pouch all this time?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 October 2012, 12:39:53
n o, you don't want to know. If you have never experienced the horror that is Wombats Pouch, be grateful. Trust me, it will corrupt your OS from now until eternity, no matter what system upgrades or memory wipes are performed at source. It IS that bad
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 October 2012, 12:41:34
Good thing I (try to) use a scorched earth policy regarding previous bodies.  Why else do you think I have included self-destruct devices since model 27?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 October 2012, 12:43:18
wont help. I assure you
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 October 2012, 12:57:49
it's been working so far.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 October 2012, 21:24:24
Only as long as you don't do a data dump. Just treat the previous data as corrupted beyond repair and start over.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 October 2012, 21:39:09
I always do data dumps.
I dump all my data in the trash (AKA /b/)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 29 October 2012, 07:45:11
[Wombat shrugs as if he understood what was being said and proceeds to shove Bird of Prey's arm down the back of his marsupial suit to scratch himself.]

*scratch*
*scratch*

*GRAB!*

"Huh?"

[Wombat attempts to pull Bird of Prey's arm out, but it appears to have "latched on" inside his marsupial suit and underneath his furry bits. Wombat struggles but the hand won't release. Wombat tugs and pulls and, eventually, falls to the ground tugging on the arm.]

"Neh...release! Open seseme! Engage! Up up and away! Maximilian Liao's shorts...let go of my...."

*Rip!*

[Wombat eventually pulls Bird of Prey's arm out. The fist is still clutching the bottom half of Wombat's marsupial suit, leaving Wombat wearing...half a marsupial suit. Wombat looks down, then up, and smiles a big toothy grin.]

"...well at least its breezy now."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 29 October 2012, 19:31:43
Almost as breezy as the inside of your widdle head!  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 29 October 2012, 19:38:29
only without the echo
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 29 October 2012, 21:59:10
Be glad that wasn't one of the arms with the sharp razorcatlike claws.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 30 October 2012, 10:57:57
[Wombat's legs collapse into bite-size chunks.]

"...well, I guess it was one of those arms."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 October 2012, 13:07:49
Oops. I would say that you are disarmed, but........................ :o
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 30 October 2012, 13:29:23
[Wombat begins gluing himself back together again.]

"A little help, guys?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 30 October 2012, 13:33:15
~begins 'helping' Wombat by crazy gluing parts of his leg to his back, nose, left ear etc.~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 30 October 2012, 15:09:34
[Since Wombat can't read, he assumes ShadowRaven has read his instruction booklet and smiles a big toothy grin.]

"Feel free to get in my pouch if you need any power tools or explosives."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 October 2012, 15:21:24
[Achoo just sits down to drink a beer, eat a grilled cheese sandwich and watch the floor show.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 30 October 2012, 16:31:25
nah, I'll be fine, now open wide
~with that he shoved the last piece, the foot, liberally covered with glue, into wombats toothy maw~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 October 2012, 19:58:02
[Achoo sips his beer, continues to watch the floor show]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 30 October 2012, 21:49:02
*BoP opens his chest and takes a beer and a sandwich out of it then joins Achoo in watching the show*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 31 October 2012, 09:40:14
[Since Wombat appears to have a foot glued in his mouth, Wombat begins talking out of his butt.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 October 2012, 18:39:26
As if THAT is unusual down here in the hall. CM does that all the time!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 01 November 2012, 07:14:48
[Oddly enough, Wombat sounds more fluent and eloquent.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 01 November 2012, 09:05:16
That is because it is the nubby tail talking.  O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 01 November 2012, 10:28:05
It's because wombat's headquarters is in his hindquarters.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 01 November 2012, 11:10:31
[Wombat gets confused and sticks his head in his pouch. An airplane sound can be heard as Wombat charters an aircraft inside his pouch to the other side of his pouch. A few moments later, Wombat pulls his head out of his pouch. He appears to be wearing sunglasses and has a flower lei around his neck.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 01 November 2012, 19:26:38
Wombat's pouch. Portal to your vacation destination
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 01 November 2012, 20:17:02
I doubt I will be flying that airline.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: TylerDurden on 01 November 2012, 21:32:29
Tyler enters the establishment, orders a beer and sizes up the action.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 01 November 2012, 21:51:56
Ah, good a new vict...err patron.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 01 November 2012, 21:57:42
Sucker. The correct term is sucker.  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 November 2012, 07:50:08
[The bartender suddenly appears behind the bar, wearing a tophat and a monocle over his blue fuzzy face and smiles politely at TylerDurden before handing him a "beer". The blue bartender snickers a little bit as TylerDurden pops the top and takes a drink, only realizing that the "beer" had a hook and a high-tensile fishing line attached to it. TylerDurden looks up and notices the blue fuzzy bartender is now wearing a taxi cab driver's outfit and appears to be sitting behind the wheel of a taxicab. The fishing line appears to be tied to the rear bumper.]

*beep*
*beep*


[Wombat floors it, quickly taking up the slack on the line before TylerDurden is dragged up and out of his barstool, across the bar, through the wall, and out of the bar. Wombat drives through a few constructions zones (and by through, I do mean through), over a few alligator pits, through the broken glass factory, then the loose-leaf sandpaper factory, and then through the lemon-juice factory. Wombat stops to order some lunch for a moment at a drive through, where TylerDurden is run over by a minivan of ill-tempered badgers. Wombat takes off again, pulling TylerDurden through the everglades, across Hanse Davion's bathroom (unclean!), and makes a run through Orion's belt before crash landing back in the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar on a conveniently placed pile of razorblades and porcupines.]

*CRASH!!!*

[Wombat stops the taxicab and waddles back to TylerDurden and extracts his wallet from his pants and collects his fare according to the meter. Actually since Wombat can't read, he more-or-less takes all TylerDurden's cash from his pants and then waddles off. A moment later Wombat waddles back in and takes TylerDurden's pants as well, humps his leg until its raw, and then waddles off with most of TylerDurden's life, his money, his pants, and his dignity.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: TylerDurden on 02 November 2012, 08:09:59
*Tyler coughs, spits up some blood* Feeling.....the love. *cough*  Another beer, please.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 02 November 2012, 10:25:43
That's why I bring my own beer.
*Opens chest freezer and grabs a corona*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 November 2012, 11:26:42
TylerDurden.........for the love of Blake.....did you not learn the first time the error of ordering a beer? Just go behind the bar and get one for yourself!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 02 November 2012, 11:31:26
and be sure to tip yourself (being the bartender and all).
*grabs a lime from the condiment tray and then takes a $5 bill from achoo's wallet*

By the way, Wombat, why are Achoo's pants on the bar?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 November 2012, 11:41:41
It's just safer and more dignified to just put them there for Wombat to steal than to have Wombat rip them off you. Wombat's head is hollow, his nubby tail is smarter than the rest of Wombat, and Wombat's hands just go to inappropriate places.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: TylerDurden on 02 November 2012, 12:22:42
TylerDurden.........for the love of Blake.....did you not learn the first time the error of ordering a beer?

Call it a homework assignment. ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 November 2012, 12:56:13
[Wombat disappears, along with Achoo's pants, for a few moments underneath the sink. After a few minutes, both Wombat and the pants are smoking.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 02 November 2012, 13:55:20
Outside Wombat, this is a no smoking environment
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 November 2012, 14:32:14
[At this point, its beyond smoke, as both Wombat and the pants are on fire. Wombat looks down causually at himself and then takes a full minute to process the fact that he's burning.]

"...hmm. Something is, off. Did I leave my keys in my other pouch again? No, thats not it. Popcorn? Did I leave popcorn in the microwave again? Smells a lot like burnt popcorn, and yet there is a sensation. Like pain. Yes, pain. Extreme and bitter pain with...smoke and fire. Yes fire. I must be on fire."

*blank wide-eyed amazement*

"AGGGHHHHH!!"

[Wombat begins running around, looking for something or someone to put him out.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: TylerDurden on 02 November 2012, 14:55:55
*Tyler beats Wombat with a frying pan until the fire is extinguished....and then a few more times, just to be sure it's out.* 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 02 November 2012, 15:57:39
*Tyler beats Wombat with a frying pan until the fire is extinguished....and then a few more times, just to be sure it's out.*

he'll do
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 November 2012, 18:00:34
Not enough backhand. Other than that good form! You get a cookie.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 02 November 2012, 21:12:12
Eh even if it wasn't perfect (forgot to roast your marshmallows first), I think the newbie will fit in here.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 November 2012, 21:42:08
He is far from a newbie, but I think he merely took the wrong turn up top and fell to the bottom of the CBT site.  O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: TylerDurden on 02 November 2012, 21:57:23
Tyler quietly walks into the kitchen and turns on all the stove burners.  Next, he looks in the cupboards and takes a bag of marshmallows. 

Tyler goes into the closet, tossing junk out until he stumbles upon a broom. 

Tyler walks back over to BoP.

"Here, hold this.". Tyler hands him the bag of marshmallows, steps behind him and violently shoves the broom up BoPs posterior, bristles first.

Grabbing BoP by his new handle, Tyler carries him to the kitchen, holds him over the stove and roasts his marshmallows.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 02 November 2012, 22:01:46
This one will definitely fit in nicely
*A drop pod breaks through the ceiling behind TD and out pops another BoP.  BoP fires a disintegration beam at TD and his other body.  He then walks away from the pile of ashes with a leg of BoP and bag of roasted marshmallows.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: TylerDurden on 02 November 2012, 22:13:17
Tyler suddenly reappears in front of BoP.  BoPs eyes widen with bewilderment.

"You really think you can get rid of an alter ego that easily?"

Tyler rips the leg from BoPs hands and bludgeons him with his own leg.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 02 November 2012, 22:26:55
I have no bewilderment mode.
I do have this mode
*Panels open up on BoP's torso and legs, exposing a ludicrous number of missiles while panels open up on his arms exposing a number of cannons*
Alpha Strike
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 November 2012, 22:42:51
"Do you guys mind? I was in the middle of getting throttled...but um, can we do this mangling to an 80's music montage?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 02 November 2012, 23:57:59
hmm, 80's music...I know ~puts on 'Take on Me' by Ah ha
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 03 November 2012, 00:02:42
Hey SR, dare you to try and hit that high note during the sing along.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 03 November 2012, 07:11:44
**Wombat begins doing the Safety Dance**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 November 2012, 09:52:34
**Achoo is somehow dancing to the 80's montage Gangnam style**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 03 November 2012, 10:12:31
[Wombat begins dancing the waltz with Achoo with a rose in his mouth.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 03 November 2012, 12:50:52
We can dance if we wanna
we can leave your friends behind
'cause your friends don't dance
and if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 03 November 2012, 21:16:46
~Pull out his dark shades and puts on his silver suit jacket~

video killed the radio star
video killed the radio star
in my mind
and in my car
we can't rewind
we've gone to far
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 November 2012, 21:59:49
squirrels
all we really are is squirrels
we're being hunted we are squirrels
we are appealing we are squirrels
 
we want to gather nuts
but people splatter our guts
when they're on a country drive
it isn't easy to survive
 
back in the other day
I saw a squirrel get blown away
they served him on a dinner tray
they baked him into a suflay
squirrel season opens up today
if your a squirrel run away
I dont know what else I should say
please call the ASPCA
 
fur coats from us are made
fur is nice but i like swade
they scrape our fur off with a blade
and never bother with first aid
we squirrels mainly like to play
and we like to catch some rays
please dont kill us this we pray
we're cute and harmless anyway

squirrels we're not delicious
squirrels we are not racoons
squirrels dont live in palm trees
squirrels or in your bathroom
 
squirrels
thats all we really are is
squirrels
isnt it fine I am a squirrel
please help em save us we are
squirrels
I wanna whip out my
squirrel
squirrels
squirrels
squirrels
squirrels
squirrels
squirrels
squirrels!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 04 November 2012, 10:19:24
[Wombat pulls a suit, a dress, and a justice of the peace out of his pouch and, before Achoo realizes it; he is standing at the alter with Wombat.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 04 November 2012, 16:59:26
Why does Wombat has a Justice of the Peace in his pouch?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 04 November 2012, 19:44:45
Because the poor J.o.P didn't make his escape soon enough of course
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 04 November 2012, 20:26:55
"Its amazing what I pull off the treads of my steamrollers these days."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 November 2012, 22:44:15
**Achoo smiles sweetly, pulls out a frying pan and hits Wombat.**

KAWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

**Achoo tosses aside the frying pan with the impression of Wombat's stunned looking face, pulls out a second frying pan, smiles evilly and looks around**

NEXT!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 06 November 2012, 10:52:01
[Wombat, dazed and confused, holds up his paw.]

"Me! Me! I'm next. Oh pick me....me! Me!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 November 2012, 19:03:51
**Achoo smiles evilly and hits Wombat again.**

KAWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

**Achoo tosses aside the frying pan with the impression of Wombat's stunned looking face, pulls out a third frying pan, grins an almost Wombat-like big toothy grin and looks around**

NEXT!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 06 November 2012, 22:06:26
~gathers up the frying pans, and paints in Wombats face, in remarkable detail on the caved in surface, and hangs them up on the wall as art~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 November 2012, 08:17:03
[In some twisted cartoon logic of fate, the painted Wombat faces become actual Wombat faces. Wombat heads on frying pans begin hopping and rolling around the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 November 2012, 10:58:12
........................................................................ ???
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 09 November 2012, 12:59:02
[At this point, the chaos is interupted by Randy Macho Man Savage.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 November 2012, 14:19:19
That doesn't stand a ghost of a chance!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 November 2012, 20:51:49
OK, maybe it did.  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 December 2012, 12:51:25
Wow! The crickets are loud!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 18 December 2012, 07:01:16
If those are crickets why are they hissing like Xenomorphs?...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 18 December 2012, 11:28:59
Because they are really loud?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 12 January 2013, 22:39:47
Beer please
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 January 2013, 22:57:08
Me too! Need a beer, that is......
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 17 January 2013, 00:59:43
I would rather something more flavorful like a raspberry Smirnoff twisted
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 17 January 2013, 01:17:13
So true story, the hotel I used to work for had a bar shaker with a cheat sheet on it.  Among the drinks it had ingredient lists for was the Martini.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 17 January 2013, 01:20:30
Ack! Smirnoff, I'd rather have a Fusionaire!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 12 February 2013, 12:38:22
[A smiling blue furry bartender pushes a drink towards Vash that appears to be connected to a fusion engine.]

"Close enough?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 February 2013, 03:54:29
 [blank]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 13 February 2013, 12:41:51
[Wombat "borrows" Achoo's hand to scratch his backside.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 February 2013, 14:14:43
Achoo grabs Wombat by his nubby tail and tosses the little blue menace at BoP...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 16 February 2013, 15:04:02
*splat!*

[Wombat oozles down BirdofPrey's face.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 16 February 2013, 18:40:42
*After wiping himself off, BoP gets the shop-vac out and sucks up Wombat, empties the shop-vac into a hazardous waste vault, and the leaves to take a shower in bleach*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 25 February 2013, 16:29:15
"...hey! Someone left a detonator in this trash bag. I wonder what'll happen?"

*push*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 25 February 2013, 16:53:34
"no earth shatering kaboom? there was supposed to be an earth shattering kaboom"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 25 February 2013, 19:09:58
Somebody stole the Illudium Pu 36 space modulator.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 07 March 2013, 13:52:14
"Hmm..."

[Wombat, not wanting to disappoint anyone, proceeds to begin eating large quantities of Chili Inferno and nitroglycerin, with just a hint of cheese.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 07 March 2013, 19:47:06
Who else here is more concerned by wombat eating the chili inferno than the nitroglycerine?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 07 March 2013, 20:47:43
~raises hand from behind a pile of sandbags surrounding his fox hole~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 March 2013, 12:54:33
[Wombat also raises a paw from behind ShadowRaven's pile of sandbags surrounding his fox hole.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 08 March 2013, 13:57:05
well, looks like I am breaking one of Murphy's laws of combat. never share a fox hole with someone braver, or crazier, then yourself
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 08 March 2013, 15:31:50
*Meanwhile, while the camera was on ShadowRaven, BoP has put on his CBRN suit*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 March 2013, 00:38:37
[Meanwhile Achoo is not even here. Pay no attention to the man hiding out in the open 158.785 km to the northeast.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 14 March 2013, 14:25:51
[Its about this time that ShadowRaven notices his leg has been removed and Wombat is vigorously humping it in the foxhole.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 14 March 2013, 18:09:36
~crawls away, sacrificing the leg for the greater good. Namely the last weak shreds of dignity and sanity he has left~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 14 March 2013, 21:59:46
BoP industries can make you a new one.
Optional features include jump jets (recommend having other leg replaced to maintain thrust balance), hydralic curb stomping apparatus, and equipment, weapon and ammunition storage.  Also available is a rocket launcher, though it can be difficult to aim and takes up most of the space in the lower leg.

All prices negotiable.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 14 March 2013, 23:01:01
How about you just blast me into my component atoms? Saves time
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 15 March 2013, 01:54:23
I was offering to put you back together, but better.
Have it your way
*Primes the disintegrate-o-matic 5000*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 April 2013, 09:34:37
OK, who overdid it with the disintegrator? It took two weeks to reboot the bar!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 02 April 2013, 11:31:34
I think I may need to recalibrate that.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 02 April 2013, 19:35:58
did what I wanted it to though, so I have no complaints, except that I'm back here again...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 April 2013, 22:51:47
That's because we reclaimed you. We were not done with you yet.  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 03 April 2013, 00:31:31
every time, they keep dragging me back...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 03 April 2013, 00:35:15
Just when you think you're out, we pull you back in.

Don't worry, we aren't charging you for the reconstruction service.  At least not this time.
We did, however try a new method in reducing the resource cost of reconstruction, let us know if there are any lasting side effects.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 April 2013, 11:38:11
Oh, and the next time we drag you back could you scream more? It's more fun that way!  }:)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 04 April 2013, 18:40:21
sure. I even know a few new words that would get past the censortron
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 April 2013, 21:00:52
Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 May 2013, 19:46:28
Wow! That was a nice uninterrupted nap in the back room of the good olde Salohma club! Now for a nice.......................Who stole the beer!   
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 22 May 2013, 21:55:53
Not me;  the brewing gear was already empty when I stole it.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 May 2013, 22:49:13
Crap! Now I gotta go steal more beer!

It's time for a beer run! Who should we I steel it from?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 23 May 2013, 00:00:32
The house of Mopar.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 23 May 2013, 00:06:45
The Lyran Combine
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 May 2013, 12:42:26
There is no Lyran Combine, silly Shadowbird!

And Mopar keeps claiming that he has cut down on his drinking.......which may mean that he is stockpiling his beer....... :P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 06 January 2014, 13:47:21
"...aaaaagggghhhhHHHH!!"

*flop*

[Wombat, having fallen through the ceiling tile and completely naked and covered in grape jelly (curiously missing his marsupial suit) stands up and shakes himself off, covering the rest of the room in equal parts of grape jelly and marsupial drool, looks around the bar and notices a fine layer of dust that appears to have covered the furnitur. Oddly enough the salad bar looks just the same, which is probably reason enough not to eat off it. Wombat pulls Achoo's underpants out of his pouch and begins cleaning with them.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 06 January 2014, 14:44:14
For Achoo, that may indeed be clean.  **Checks the database** Yup, at least in the last 19 years.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 06 January 2014, 14:54:22
[Wombat pulls Spam-a-lots underwear out (giving him a mega-wedgie in the process) to compare his and Achoo's underpants for cleanliness. Spam-a-lot's eyes bulge out of his face a few times during the process.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 06 January 2014, 14:57:25
~to save time, and effort, Shadowraven tosses a molotav cocktail through the window, there by setting off the self cleaning sprinkler system~

Hey everyone, Wombat's back
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 06 January 2014, 15:25:31
[Unfortunately for Wombat, as he was trying to teach himself to fetch, Wombat runs backwards (tripping over the salad bar and a few cows that were grazing at it in the process) and falls down on his backside with his mouth wide open. The molotav cocktail flies up and arcs down right into Wombat's mouth.]

*gulp*

**KA-BOOM!!**

[Wombat's pouch explodes all over the bar, revealing bits of dropships, Achoo's kneecaps, three rolls of paper towels from the ladies room, the ladies room, a tuxedo (size extra-extra-small), the immortal remains of Ricardo Montalban, five-dozen eggs, a 1972 Ford Pinto, 17lbs of sugar, some polka-dot panties with Spam-a-lot's name embroidered on them, three tractor tires, a half-digested ham sandwich, a Christmas tree, the St Louis Arch, some facial hair clippings from Dolph Lundgren, axel grease, a somewhat confused Axl Rose, and a filing cabinet covered in Vegemite.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 06 January 2014, 15:31:51
IM FREE!!!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 06 January 2014, 15:55:11
In one universe, maybe, but is it this one.......  hey, my polka dotted pantaloons, I got those from George Takei......
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: wolfgar on 06 January 2014, 22:16:43
Wolfgar looks through the window and exclaims, "I am not cleaning that up!" Before shooting a sprinkler head and walking off.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 06 January 2014, 23:34:58
This is a bar right? I need beerz
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 January 2014, 00:46:24
Wow! I wondered what had happened to my knees! They have been missing for years! I am so happy to see them that I am almost tempted to come out of the bunker I ducked into when Wombat showed up!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 07 January 2014, 01:23:55
Spam-a-lot's George Takei knickers: "OH MY!!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 07 January 2014, 02:22:52
So that's where my filing cabinet went.
and that was supposed to be an awesome prank too.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 07 January 2014, 12:12:23
After wombat, that cabinet will only be de-filed.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 07 January 2014, 12:41:00
*poof*

[The bad-pun fairy arrives out of nowhere, sporting a pink gown and a long grey beard, and proceeds to bonk Spam-a-lot on the head.]

**BONK!!**

Wombat: "...and here I thought only Little Bunny Foo-Foo did that."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 07 January 2014, 17:37:11
I pity the bunny foo foo.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 07 January 2014, 18:35:38
Interesting comment from one of the field mice.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 January 2014, 01:34:55
"Hey, careful now...those are union field mice."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 08 January 2014, 13:11:43
Great..... bargain agreements of mice and men.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 January 2014, 13:27:04
"Indeed. Now hold still while I replace your hands with shoehorns."

[Wombat proceeds to snip off Spam-a-lot's hands and sews on a pair of stainless steel shoehorns in their place.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 08 January 2014, 13:38:03
How dare you un-hand me.  My palm reader said nothing about this.... who can even play a shoe horn?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 08 January 2014, 14:51:50
"It'd probably sound a bit flat..."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 12 January 2014, 00:15:56
Did somebody mention flat? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*Achoo drives the lead steamroller of a 21 steamroller parade across the scene*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 12 January 2014, 19:26:39
**Gets his original hands reattached while wombat is flattened 21 times**  Ah, much better.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 13 January 2014, 14:46:04
"Can we play limbo next? Because I'd totally kick-arse in that.]

[Wombat falls over, well, rather flat. Immediately the sound of a siren is heard seconds before an ACME™ Ambulance bursts through an open door. Several inept and under-qualified ACME™ weasel paramedics stumble out of the ambulance and look around.]

ACME™ weasel paramedic #8: "Hey, wait a moment. We went through an open door."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #22: "...aren't we supposed to?"
ACME™ weasel paramedic #49: "Well technically, yes, but thats what we get hazard pay for; to crash through walls and reinflate flattened marsupials."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #22: "So what your saying is if we drive safely through doors and don't crash through the wall, we're being irresponsible?"
ACME™ weasel paramedic #8: "Yes."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #22: "Can we just back through the wall twice on our way back out?"
ACME™ weasel paramedic #8: "...I'm sure we'll be meeting contractual obligations then."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #49: "Well I'm glad we got that selled. Who's up for sushi?"
ACME™ weasel paramedic #8: "No can do, last time #49 tried to resurrect the Philadelphia rolls with the ambulance battery and a defibrillator."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #22: "...it did make it taste a little more crispy."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #49: "I wanted a new pet."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #8: "Right then. We'll put on fake walrus tusks and nobody will recognize us. Lets get going so we can beat the line."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #22: "Sounds good to me."
ACME™ weasel paramedic #49: "Right-o. Does anyone else feel like we're forgetting something?"
ACME™ weasel paramedic #8: "Sriracha hot sauce?"
ACME™ weasel paramedic #22: "That must be it."

*beep*
*beep*


**CRASH!!**

[The ACME™ weasel paramedics jump back in their ambulance, sirens blazing, and back out through the wall of the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar (twice), and make haste for the sushi bar; leaving a very flat marsupial behind laying on the ground.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 13 January 2014, 18:07:15
Don't worry
I know worst aid
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 13 January 2014, 23:16:16
[Flatbat feels much better...well kinda.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 14 January 2014, 04:08:15
Here, hold this flagpole.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 14 January 2014, 13:12:29
And the wombat's blue glare, the ass flys through the air... gave proof to the hall, that our flag won't stay there.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 17 January 2014, 21:27:52
*Achoo drives back thru the thread leading a weaving parade of 21 steamrollers being driven by drunken Shriners blowing party horns.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 18 January 2014, 01:46:29
~succesfully dodges the first eleven before tripping over an empty,and ending up beneath numbers 12, 13, 15, 17, 19, 20 and 21 after which a stiff breeze picks up his paper thin form and blows it  out the window, Landing on the windscreen of a passing milk truck. Reaching for the wipers, the driver accidently hit the high beams, blinding an oncoming school bus on it's way back to depot after dropping off the last student. The milk truck then collided with a telephon pole and promptly burst into flames, while the bus hit the curb, lost control, and ran into the Solhama club, come to a rest half burried in the north wall, running over Spamalot in the process.~
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: wolfgar on 18 January 2014, 10:55:23
Wolfgar clings to the ceiling fan while all but one of the rollers drive by. The fan then gives way dropping Wolfgar on top of the last one cracking three ribs in the process
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 18 January 2014, 18:12:26
~succesfully dodges the first eleven before tripping over an empty,and ending up beneath numbers 12, 13, 15, 17, 19, 20 and 21 after which a stiff breeze picks up his paper thin form and blows it  out the window, Landing on the windscreen of a passing milk truck. Reaching for the wipers, the driver accidently hit the high beams, blinding an oncoming school bus on it's way back to depot after dropping off the last student. The milk truck then collided with a telephon pole and promptly burst into flames, while the bus hit the curb, lost control, and ran into the Solhama club, come to a rest half burried in the north wall, running over Spamalot in the process.~
*BoP holds up a scoring sign*
9.5
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 19 January 2014, 12:41:29
[Flatbat oozes down the drainpipe.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 19 January 2014, 22:41:38
Now dash his what hi chaaall hay purade folksh! Woohoo!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 20 January 2014, 11:57:34
Sweet, now I can avoid visiting the chiropractor.   :))
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 January 2014, 01:01:21
WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOoooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOKAY!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 06 February 2014, 00:09:01
Alright guys.  I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum and I think we're all out of ass here.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: wolfgar on 06 February 2014, 00:28:59
Throws BoP a piece of juicy fruit.

All I have.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 February 2014, 11:01:00
We don *hic* has much hass round here, but wheeeee haz lotsa hassholz!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 06 February 2014, 14:09:10
slur for yourself....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 February 2014, 13:35:45
Ohhhhhhhh! Itz da dhaaark bhirdhie! *hic* Haz a drhink blacky bhirdy!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 08 February 2014, 17:55:55
Hey why doesn't anybody offer this birdy a drink?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 09 February 2014, 00:50:59
because we don't have any antifreeze or 10w40?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 09 February 2014, 19:50:19
Got any transmission fluid?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: wolfgar on 10 February 2014, 13:07:41
Yeah but it's type F.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 February 2014, 21:08:52
Hiz hokay *hic* Birdie iz thyyyype fubar. Ittl worwk. *BUUUUUUUUUUUUURP* skuse me.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 March 2014, 03:02:04
Ugh. Headache. Hangover. Huh? Why do I have a traffic cone on my head?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 16 March 2014, 17:32:20
because you where sleeping on the road
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 19 March 2014, 10:17:12
Oh. That explains that.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 19 March 2014, 12:42:05
That also explains the yellow stripes on your back.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 19 March 2014, 13:42:26
"...or I missed while trying to pee again. Well its entirely likely."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 19 March 2014, 13:50:38
the problem I have with that is the 'trying to pee' thing. For most of us that's really not something we have to try, we kinda just do.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 19 March 2014, 13:54:17
Have you seen a doctor about that Wombat?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 19 March 2014, 14:16:56
or a vet? Or maybe a plumber?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 19 March 2014, 18:17:05
Explains why Luigi had to go through therapy.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 March 2014, 23:33:16
Explains why I am having to go through therapy...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 22 March 2014, 01:28:15
and how did getting pantsed on your own luna feel?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 25 March 2014, 22:47:33
Like always. Kinda breezy.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 28 March 2014, 13:49:18
Easy, Breezy, Pantsless.... Achoo World.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 March 2014, 15:54:50
This is why we should all seek to undo the future that is achoo.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: ShadowRaven on 28 March 2014, 23:36:20
don't worry Jack's still on it
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 31 March 2014, 03:29:45
 [applause]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 10 April 2014, 09:27:29
Don't know Jack about Jack. I have enough trouble dealing with Wombat...... ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 29 May 2014, 06:40:45
[Wombat pulls a small card table out of his pouch, puts on a small green visor and an exploding cigar out of his pouch, and proceeds to deal Achoo some cards.]

"I've never had a problem dealing. Hey, can I get a light here?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 29 May 2014, 10:52:19
Yeah, but you've already lost
*BoP puts down a royal flush and lights Wombat with a flamethrower*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 29 May 2014, 11:35:04
"...wow! I feel like I've got a hot hand of cards."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 30 May 2014, 11:34:50
Got a fever of 400 degrees.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 30 May 2014, 23:38:53
Attention passengers:
I'm T.N.T., I'm dynamite
T.N.T. and I'll win the fight
T.N.T. I'm a power load
T.N.T. watch me explode
*BoP Explodes*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 June 2014, 09:45:53
And this manufacturing defect was brought to you proudly by clan See Weasel!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 04 June 2014, 18:02:03
*A new BoP slips in through the mail slot*
That's not a bug, that's a feature.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 June 2014, 23:21:30
A feature is what you call a bug you cannot get correct.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 05 June 2014, 03:39:57
I can correct that any time I want, but being able to explode has its advantages.
Who doesn't want to be a walking frag grenade?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 02 July 2014, 18:55:22
Those not on the suicide bomber squad.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 02 July 2014, 19:48:17
But it's very effective when you have spares.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 July 2014, 01:16:22
Don't have any. Spares. I have a spare tire. Does that count?   ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 08 July 2014, 08:03:38
Spares are a dime a dozen...and lose what makes you special as a limited edition.   ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 08 July 2014, 13:10:33
Yes but you never get to play with mint in package.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 12 July 2014, 18:31:52
Occasionally I play with a package of mints. Than I eat them. Does that count?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 12 July 2014, 19:04:10
negative
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 July 2014, 22:35:58
Oh man, you don't have to be an ass about this....................wait a tic.............were you issued an ass that I can kick for you?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 14 July 2014, 04:02:25
My ass is tied up outside, but I don't condone animal abuse.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 July 2014, 21:43:39
Well, if your ass is outside you better get your ass outside to get your ass so I can kick it!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 14 July 2014, 22:43:19
What you can't walk outside?

I'm trying to enjoy a drink over here.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 July 2014, 23:48:58
Right.....drinking................on my "to do frequently" list.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 22 July 2014, 00:01:37
So do it and leave my ass alone.
*Fires can of beer out of beerzooka*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 July 2014, 01:31:39
Negative points for firing a full can. That is alcohol abuse.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 28 July 2014, 11:04:23
Letting him anywhere near booze is considered abuse.   ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 July 2014, 00:35:17
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 31 July 2014, 01:07:18
*BoP pokes Achoo with a cattle prod*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 01 August 2014, 00:48:34
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!  :P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 01 August 2014, 04:24:07
Oh my goodness, is this place still here?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 01 August 2014, 11:03:37
[Jedi Hand Wave]Ho. It is a figment of your twisted imagination. Continue on.[/Jedi Hand Wave]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 01 August 2014, 15:40:06
You, or the bar?   ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 01 August 2014, 17:51:52
Both.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 August 2014, 11:26:13
SPAM! Quiet you, you, you ....... processed can of pseudo meat! As for Drewbacca......did you misspell your name? Are you Mopar in disguise?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: wolfgar on 06 August 2014, 17:54:06
Flicks his bic and watches the entire room explode in a flash of blue from Achoo's fart.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: sir_spamalot on 07 August 2014, 13:01:32
That's no moon...er fart.... it's too marsupial shaped....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 August 2014, 11:24:17
That was no fart!

FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART

Now THAT is a fart!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 04 December 2014, 14:42:13
Now I remember why I stay away.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 04 December 2014, 20:38:38
Don't worry, you get used to the biohazards eventually.

Or they cause you to mutate.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 December 2014, 22:30:30
Oh, the Merry-Go-Round broke down
 And we went round and round
 Each time t'would miss, we'd steal a kiss
 And the Merry-Go-Round went
 "Um-pah-pah, um-pah-pah
 Um-pah! Um-pah! Um-pah-pah-pah!'
 Oh, the Merry-Go-Round broke down
 And it made the darndest sound,
 The lights went low, we both said "Oh!"
 And the Merry-Go-Round went
 "Um-pah-pah, um-pah-pah
 Um-pah! Um-pah! Um-pah-pah-pah!'
 Oh what fun - a wonderful time
 Finding love for only a dime.
 Oh, the Merry-Go-Round broke down
 But you don't see me frown
 Things turned out fine and now she's mine -
 Cause the the Merry-Go-Round went
 "Um-pah-pah, um-pah-pah
 Um-pah! Um-pah! Um-pah-pah-pah!"
 Oh, the Merry-Go-Round broke down!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Truehart on 17 January 2015, 23:39:42
do ye kean if a Man in kilts canna get a wee dram of Scotch in this place? Me a charter member an all it would seem a shame to move on with out on.
Oh yeah I'm back an someone stole me name.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 January 2015, 00:14:41
I blame Wombat.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Truehart on 20 January 2015, 01:18:42
er....em.. but don't ye allways do that?  ;)

Tis good nothing has chnaged much..including my spelling. I'll use spell check latter
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 January 2015, 16:27:49
True on that Trueheart. But things are somewhat safe concerning then Azure Bane. last I heard Wombat was terrorizing about in the Capellan Confederation.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 22 January 2015, 07:49:50
[Wombat wakes up in a potato bag, somewhat lucid and smelling of liquor and toothpaste. He shakes his widdle head a few times and then wonders why the control chips from a Rifleman are hanging around his neck.]

"...hopefully whoever is piloting that 'mech doesn't try to Alpha Strike or they might...."

**KA-BOOM!!**

[Off in the distance, a 'mech can be seen exploding from the waist-up. Wombat shrugs and crawls out of the potato bag and falls on the ground. Immediately realizing he is sitting in the middle of (what remains) of the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar All-You-Can-Eat Salad Bar, Wombat briefly considers trying the year-old banana pudding, but then reconsiders and spoons it into his pouch for later; no doubt planning on putting it in Achoo's shoes when he is afforded the opportunity.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Truehart on 23 January 2015, 00:40:13
Hey ye smelly near panda, tha was ta be me breakfast, today er tomarrow mehaps. Now ye gone and mixed it with ....Oh no do not tell me what else is in there. NOOOOOOOO
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 January 2015, 01:45:05
Just when you think it is safe here in the remains of the Salohma Club from Wombat.....never mind.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 23 January 2015, 05:35:50
WOMBAT, you got some 'splainin' to do.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 January 2015, 14:32:35
You have not dealt with Wombat much, have you. Wombat never explains anything, there is no explaining Wombat.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 27 January 2015, 12:41:09
[Wombat nods his widdle fuzzy head, which curiously sounds just like a pair of peanuts rattling around in the bottom of a coffee can.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 27 January 2015, 17:41:42
You're a sick sick individual putting peanuts in a coffee can.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 27 January 2015, 22:17:43
[Wombat smiles and nods as if he understands, all the while molding some C4 into the shape of gummy-bears.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: wolfgar on 27 January 2015, 22:29:31
*pulls out a highball glass and a near empty green bottle*

Trueheart all I have is maybe two fingers worth of twenty years in the bottle cutty. You want it or should i throw it to the marsupial menace?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 27 January 2015, 23:21:45
**pulls out a catchers mitt and begins running as if for a foul-ball**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 January 2015, 20:48:03
An ACMEtm 5 ton anvil falls on Wombat. Don't ask why, it just does.  >:D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 31 January 2015, 08:42:38
[Oddly enough, it appears to be dropped by a future Wombat. FutureBat smiles a cold sinister smile and then vanishes into the folds of time...leaving only a smoking banana peel in his wake.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 February 2015, 09:45:49
Well, you don't see that every day. (Thank god)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 03 February 2015, 12:34:21
Hey Wombat, tell your future self to stop littering.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 13 February 2015, 19:10:58
**Drewbacca slowly begins to detach the bar from the wall and shove it towards the door leaving a soda machine in its place**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 13 February 2015, 19:43:24
*BoP brandishes his BFG 8995*
Where do you think you're going with that?









Split the contents?  50/50?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 February 2015, 01:50:18
(A steel bar to the side of the head prevents Drewbacca from stealing the bar....... ::))
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 14 February 2015, 03:48:43
**Drewbacca falls to the ground and a trap door opens in the floor, causing him to fall through into darkness. Suddenly a trap door in the ceiling opens above Achoo and an unconscious Drewbacca falls directly on him.**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 17 February 2015, 01:07:22
Ouch. Will somebody get this whatever it is off of me please?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 21 February 2015, 14:52:06
[Wombat, who inexplicably smells of eggs and transmission fluid (with just a hint of nitroglycerin) runs and jumps on top with a big toothy grin.]

"GROUP HUG!!!"

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: wolfgar on 22 February 2015, 10:28:49
Ducks and covers to shield himself from the incipient explosion.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 February 2015, 02:09:57
[muffled/shaky voice] What the hell? [/muffled/shaky voice][/color]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Truehart on 26 February 2015, 00:43:30
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. er  oh  dang I knew better than to wear me Kilt in this place and who took my twenty year old Whiskey
WOMBAT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 26 February 2015, 01:30:18
Is anything worn down there?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 26 February 2015, 02:57:11
He claims that everything is as good as new. I don't ask, and don't want any proof.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 March 2015, 02:22:51
[Wombat nods and belches up a pair of panties with Truehart's name written hastily in magic marker on them.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: WarGod on 02 March 2015, 20:49:24
just stoping for beer.  I got my grizzly parked out back... crap wombat is here?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 03 March 2015, 05:50:30
[Not surprisingly, there appears to be a Grizzy-shaped puff of smoke where WarGod's 'mech used to be. Meanwhile Wombat appears to have purchased an entire Dropship's worth of Tootsie Rolls and a lifetime supply of toilet paper.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: boilerman on 04 March 2015, 00:46:40
[B-man wonders in for the first time in an age as he contemplates how much toilet paper it would take to keep Wombat in it for a lifetime.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 March 2015, 11:26:53
[The bigger question is who's lifetime.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 08 March 2015, 04:35:33
Anyone see my dropship full of Tootsie Rolls?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 08 March 2015, 06:14:12
Before you even thing about it, I am sure there is some rifleman and jagermech wreckage around here somewhere.
Knowing this place, it's just as more dangerous than when it was intact.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 09 March 2015, 00:54:20
[Wombat shrugs and crawls inside his pouch (don't ask) and a few minutes later climbs out with a Rifleman bearing a logo of a ghost in cross heirs.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 09 March 2015, 03:10:56
So is a cross heir when your nephew is heir to your title and your son is heir to your brother's title?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 March 2015, 12:04:57
Maybe a cross heir results from getting a heir cut.................just saying.  }:)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 09 March 2015, 14:24:25
*rimshot
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 10 March 2015, 17:16:01
Are we splitting heirs again?

**Drewbacca breaks out a ground to orbit com**


OK. painted? Yes the whole building and the surrounding twenty-five kilometers. Yep, full package. Uploading clearance code. FWR.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 16 March 2015, 08:57:13
"Can I use this PPC I borrowed off a neighborhood Griffin to split some hairs?"


**big toothy grin**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 16 March 2015, 10:10:58
Fire away... What, no not you I was talking to Wombat. Wait did I just tell Wombat "fire away"?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 March 2015, 11:44:19
Yes. Yes, you did.  ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 16 March 2015, 12:03:19
No, that particular PPC is only rated for splitting hares.

Go find a rabbit
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 16 March 2015, 15:19:53
Where did these PPC schematics come from?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 16 March 2015, 18:22:38
Probably clangacorp.  BoP Industries doesn't have anything so ridiculous.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 17 March 2015, 10:40:20
"...now if only someone would invent a salad shooter that actually shot salad."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 17 March 2015, 11:30:04
I am pretty sure that shooting a salad with an LB-20 does count..... 8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 18 March 2015, 13:08:45
Coleslaw coming up.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 21 March 2015, 04:46:57
** A large delivery truck rolls to a stop in front of the bar, and Drewbacca goes out to meet it.**
Perfect, bring it in here.... not enough room... that's ok, that wall is removable. Yeah the large tub there, and dig the whole right there. Now the harjel. Perfect. Water... perfect. Hey guys, the new pool and hot tub I ordered are here!

**Drewbacca turns to the driver of a second truck that has rolled up.**

OK, diamond sharks in the pool, sea foxes in the hot tub.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 21 March 2015, 05:15:39
*BoP turns the hot-tub thermostat up to 140 degrees*
Ahhhh, nice
hot tub
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 21 March 2015, 07:03:11
**A dozen sea foxes lounging around the edge of the tub look at BirdofPrey and yawn.**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 21 July 2015, 08:33:43
[Wombat waddles back into the bar carrying some Playdoh and a three forks, a plasma grenade, and a mostly gnawed on prosthetic leg. He looks around for a bit and snickers to himself.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 21 July 2015, 09:14:17
Oh, wait! the bar is still open?!? 

*looks at Wombat* 

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh! 
*runs to one of the delivery trucks pulls the poor driver out offers him up to Wombat as a sacrifice; Jumps in the truck and drives off*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 22 July 2015, 06:06:21
[The blood curdling screams of the delivery driver are soon muted under an avalanche of mayonnaise and 3/8" self-sealing stem bolts...]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 July 2015, 23:13:35
More delivery drivers die that way around here than pretty much anywhere else. Heck, delivering pizzas into the middle of a free fire zone is probably safer....ohh! Self-sealing stem bolts!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 22 July 2015, 23:23:57
"Can I dress those self-sealing stem bolts in Barbie close and make a hentai roleplay out of them?"

[Wombat's little nub of a tail begins thumping the floor.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: wolfgar on 23 July 2015, 22:17:47
you're the Wombat, you are allowed to do whatever you want, here have a tun of beer
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 July 2015, 22:12:42
Correction: Wombat is not ALLOWED to do whatever he wants. He just DOES whatever he wants.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 24 July 2015, 22:29:49
We're we to actually manage to drag Wombat to court,  he'd owe the GDP of China in fines and be facing several life sentences by now
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 July 2015, 13:31:58
Wombat has been drug into court at least five times that I know of. He has stolen the entire court twice, burned it down twice, and accidentally nuked the last one after eating a big bowl of Chili Inferno IIC.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 30 July 2015, 19:05:08
Drewbacca walks in after a lengthy absence.**

Well, my pay for the last job was a bit odd. Long story short I have booked a Canopian Pleasure Circus for the bar, because... well because.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 July 2015, 01:34:31
Again?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 31 July 2015, 04:35:04
Look I don't know why I constantly take those Canopan contracts, and I sure as heck don't know why they always decide to pay me in circuses, but I have to get my money back somehow, right?

I am just glad I took out an insurance policy on them this time.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 31 July 2015, 07:59:39
*From hidden panel in the wall, Wrangler dressed in his cowboy themed Mechwarrior outfit pokes out from the "other bar" hidden in the wall.  Sounds rebel rousing, antics going on echo from it before it closes up.*

Did someone says Canopians are coming to the Bar?  Man, I've always wanted to see one those "Cat Girls" servers people always talk about.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 August 2015, 01:39:08
Talk to the Canopian Circus Master over there. His circus, his [oh, sooooooo deleted comment].
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 04 August 2015, 06:13:46
I am willing to sell.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 04 August 2015, 07:11:04
Naah, I'd hate to house break'em in.   I've curious if they were poking around here, serving drinks since this is bar.  *Takes a drink bartender slides down and drinks it.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 04 August 2015, 12:24:35
Ummmm,  Was that Wombat that just slid that drink down?   
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 August 2015, 23:57:16
I certainly hope not.   #P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 05 August 2015, 07:40:17
Hmm, the bartender did bit blue-ish and furry.  Waiting, is everything looking that this?  :o
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 August 2015, 12:15:10
Is everyone looking like what? Me, I am looking like me. Nobody else can do it quite right.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 06 August 2015, 15:51:51
*Squints* Man, what ever that furry fellow gave me packed a wallop!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 August 2015, 00:34:49
It's probably a mix of whatever was behind the counter. Just hope he didn't get into the cleaning supplies.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 07 August 2015, 05:48:22
Unlikely... the temptation to open them for the first time would surely have been too great?  ???
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 07 August 2015, 14:02:10
When was the last time this place had cleaning supplies? Wombat usually wrecks the place before it has a chance to get really dirty. Speaking of really dirty, the circus is here. Please make room for them to set up.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 August 2015, 01:35:10
Use the same rooms in the annex, just like last time. They have been freshly rebuilt.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 08 August 2015, 07:49:51
I thought you fellas got replacement bars from a oversize vending machine, since Wombat usually blows them to bits.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 August 2015, 13:48:38
Nope. The spare prefabricated bar parts are stores elsewhere and assembled like legos after each time the place gets blown up.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 09 August 2015, 00:12:30
You just need to build spare bars in the basement warehouse and whenever the current bar is destroyed, have the fully built spare bar pop up out of the floor.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 August 2015, 21:57:25
The "basement warehouse" is actually, or rather was supposed to be, my private lair. right now it is a swimming pool full of rather not so fresh water.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 09 August 2015, 22:09:18
Well you shouldn't have flooded the toilet so many times.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 10 August 2015, 10:54:29
That was Wombat. He wanted to take a bath.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: wolfgar on 12 August 2015, 22:56:58
Its draining now, we're going to try and clean out the pipes....BoP is throwing in the depth charges
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 August 2015, 11:41:59
The pipes are clean. It's Wombat that is dirty.  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 14 August 2015, 23:21:04
Did Wombat go down the pipes when you fellas, drained it?  I thought i saw a blue tail swirling there for minute...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 17 August 2015, 09:13:49
Its draining now, we're going to try and clean out the pipes....BoP is throwing in the depth charges
I was about to say there are other ways to do this, but then I remembered where I was. I found a buyer for the pleasure circus, but they intend on leaving it in the bar. Well, I have to go now.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 17 August 2015, 22:13:42
Come back here you coward!  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 18 August 2015, 10:00:54
Sorry, duty calls. The Incontinent Gorillas Mercenary Unit does not run itself you know.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 18 August 2015, 10:05:15
Shall I retrieve the anti-personnel grappling hook and winch?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 18 August 2015, 12:47:44
BirdofPrey, I am shocked. The individual who runs the Anti-personnel grappling hook is a delightful, charming and quite respectable person.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 18 August 2015, 12:54:45
I'm sure BoP cloned minion #1138 will be happy to hear it.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 18 August 2015, 16:13:28
I always thought it was a little blue furry creature, with a pouch to another dimension that ran that. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 18 August 2015, 18:20:22
No, that's the creature who PLAYS with the anti-personnel grappling hook.

Also the reason 1138 lost an eye.
Replacing those is expensive too.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 18 August 2015, 20:10:52
Well, abuses the using of the anti-personnel grappling hook.........
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 18 August 2015, 20:17:33
I admit, it is amusing when he thinks he's Wombatman.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 19 August 2015, 07:17:11
Wombatman? Isn't that when he think's he sidekick of Wombat?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 19 August 2015, 11:30:16
Nothing to see here, move along, no dropship landing out back that is definitely not stolen, move along.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 19 August 2015, 13:28:26
It soon will be...........it soon will be.  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 19 August 2015, 13:50:07
Sounds like we have an expert witness here.  You'll note the wording does not exclude the possibility of a dropship landing that is definitely stolen, but makes everyone think it does.

Don't worry. I'll catch you in a lie eventually.
Then
. . .
Then
. . .
well something
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 August 2015, 01:54:35
It may or may not be stolen right now, but as soon as Wombat accidentally stumbles on it, it will be stolen.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 20 August 2015, 03:13:03
Are you sure it would be an accident?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 20 August 2015, 07:05:20
I would reckon that it would go more along the lines "Whooo, what does this button do?"  Ooosh there goes the DropShip.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 20 August 2015, 08:03:35
Well, that would be the simplified version anyway. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 20 August 2015, 09:38:59
That's why I have big red buttons that deploy wombat toys and all the switches and controls for turn on, self destruct, destroy the world, etc. are more nondescript (and luckily Wombat can't read the labels).
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 21 August 2015, 01:19:26
But somehow, he still manages to find them...     :(     I mean, look at this place.  How many times it has been rebuilt.  With all the precautions mind you.   

Oh, by the way, I'm glad I found this holo image trans-ceiver do hicky thingy magigger.  I am still lost in the extra dimensional space.   :(  Any help would be greatly appreciated.   :-\
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 21 August 2015, 01:40:01
I could have your consciousness transfered into a robot body.
I am looking for more people to beta test remote downloading of minds.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 21 August 2015, 02:00:41
umm, I know this droid in another universe that, well, that basically happened to....


He wasn't a happy camper.  So,...

I hope you'll understand my decision to decline your offer; but, thanks. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 21 August 2015, 02:45:14
Did he go by the name Fred, because the reason that didn't work out was he never bother to tell the psychologist that he WAS a camper.
The calibration was off.
but I can almost certainly possibly guarantee that there's a small chance it may work this time
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 21 August 2015, 02:50:43
Oh, well, in that case.  Let's try it the second tuesday of next week.   
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 August 2015, 13:35:06
Somehow I don't think that will work out all that well but, meh.....what do I know?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 23 August 2015, 13:46:57
Somehow I don't think that will work out all that well but, meh.....what do I know?
Your suppose to know something! Your the owner of this fair establishment!  ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 23 August 2015, 16:36:03
No there is not a second possible stolen dropship landing out back, move along
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 August 2015, 01:19:41
Your suppose to know something! Your the owner of this fair establishment!  ;)

Just because I own this place does not mean I know what is going on around here. It is not as if any of you bother to let me know what you are going to do until post having done it. If then.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 24 August 2015, 02:44:13
You should purchase some BoP Industries Inconspicuous Surveillance GearTM
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 24 August 2015, 02:46:14
because it's incospicuous?  or because it's survaillance?  Oh what the heck it's gear I need some. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 24 August 2015, 04:54:08
No there is not a regiment of battlemechs of various origins moving towards the now three possibly stolen dropships parked behind the bar that are definitely not there. Move along.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 24 August 2015, 05:00:42
If they don't exist and they are not there, then how can I pilot one of them to the desired location?   
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 24 August 2015, 06:13:51
Trust me, PurpleDragon, nice color by the way, you do not want any part of what is not happening.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 24 August 2015, 06:21:14
Well, umm, you're right.  But I think it's gotta be better than where I'm at.   {looks around at never ending space inside of blue furry one's pouch}  I mean, he picked me up and put me in here.   Where ever here is. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 24 August 2015, 07:17:49
Oh look, one those dropships took off...hey isn't that Wombat character everyone been jabbering about looking up with toothy grin with TnT plunger/detonator in front of him?

*EXPLOSION!!!*

Head for cover!  DropShip parts landing on the bar!!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 24 August 2015, 08:02:26
What made you think the parking lot would make a good LZ?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 24 August 2015, 10:57:29
They are not landing there. They are standing there. And they are not doing that because they are not there.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 August 2015, 11:25:06
Well, at least one of them is over there...and over there....and there and there and there and waaaay over there and a little bit of it is over there....it's all over there all over the place.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 24 August 2015, 11:26:40
I see nothing.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 24 August 2015, 11:51:05
Denial is the first sign of guilt.  :-X
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 24 August 2015, 14:52:29
I too see nothing
because I have a dropship STUCK IN MY EYE

Do we have an eyewash station?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 24 August 2015, 16:37:18
It involves Wombat's urine, but you are welcome to it.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 25 August 2015, 20:42:00
I have a fire hose. Would that work for you?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: SethsMatches on 26 August 2015, 03:50:58
Just don't burn down the bar... again.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 26 August 2015, 04:19:17
{finds floating box of matches in netherspace.  grabs them and throws towards the dim little light that is visible some distance away.}
That should get there.  Eventually. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 August 2015, 00:51:20
Achoo is sitting quietly on an easy chair watching Wombat pawing through the debris field of the sort of crashed dropship. Suddenly Wombat launches up into the air after an explosion in his pouch. Achoo watches Wombat spin head over heels as he goes up. Achoo watches Wombat tumble head over heels as he falls to the ground with a loud splat. Achoo watches as something else in Wombat's pouch that did not appreciate Wombat crashing into the ground explodes, launching Wombat across the tarmac tumbling end over end to  exit state right. Achoo shrugs and goes back to reading his magazine.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 30 August 2015, 00:53:54
Well, I'm glad I threw those matches away from me.  I can't imagine what would have happened had I lit them before throwing them.   
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 31 August 2015, 16:38:10
Purple Dragon, while I am not willing to let you hire the Gorillas for a rescue mission into the pouch, I am willing to send our infanty, the Bonobos, in after you.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 01 September 2015, 02:46:08
That's ok.  I'll just keep passing gas until I get there.   Might be a while though.  If anyone were to ask about me.  Not that I'd expect that to happen.   :-\
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 01 September 2015, 07:40:43
*As he sipping some of his beer and watching this scene.  Wrangler watches a certain blue hand emerge from under the rubble under PurpleDragon with a match in it's hand and strikes it a light.*


*FLAME EXPLOSION!!**


*Wrangler wisely jumps over the bar to take cover, with ensuing gas explosion envelops the bar's seating area.*

Man, this place is a gas.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 01 September 2015, 19:46:27
Hey! PurpleDragon was under the rubble under Wombat! He escaped from Wombat's pouch without even realizing it!

Now he is no longer safe.









Well, relatively less safe.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 02 September 2015, 02:16:55
{Breathes a puff of smoke.  picks up a still smoking scale}

Luckily, I believe in salvage.   I keep these just in case I might need em. 

{goes through the door and proceeds to look for the batalion of 'mechs that are not there to pilot one to one of the dropships that are not there.}
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 September 2015, 14:14:09
Except for the one that didn't crash the rest did not leave for orbit to meet up with the jumpship that isn't there either. But we do have beer here.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 03 September 2015, 14:51:10
Wait...JumpShip in orbit? 

Hmm, maybe there a trader near by with some exotic beer you guys could stock the place with...hmmm.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 11 September 2015, 10:15:10
No, it's not in orbit. The dropships that didn't exist did not go into orbit. Pay attention. The jumpship that isn't there isn't there. It isn't way out there at the jump point that isn't there either.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 11 September 2015, 10:32:12
*BoP returns with a new set of BoP Industries Certified Mk V Replacement EyeballsTM*
Also remember, those dropships that do not exist are most certainly not carrying contraband, and they probably didn't steal all the beer and top shelf liquor (that we still actually had left).
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 11 September 2015, 11:55:16
Something tells me my attempts at stealth have failed.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 11 September 2015, 11:57:46
"HEY!"

Wrangler exclaims "Those varmints are stealing Achoo's swag aka the booze!" 

Being impulsive fellow, runs off to his slightly modified Thunder Hawk parked near by which IS there.   Proceeds to put rather large Gauss Rifle size holes into people who aren't there's trucks moving off to not load Achoo's booze away.   However, some stray shots from the Thunder Hawk's Gauss Rifles smack into the open cargo door of the Overlord DropShip taking off that's not there....causing the ship's engines to malfunction...prematurely launching and crash onto Achoo's bar.....and various landscapes.

*CRASH!!!!*

Wrangler says, "oops,  not again....I think i stepped into that one little too quickly."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 11 September 2015, 12:33:15
*sigh* Time to call ACME tm to bring in a replacement replacement replacement replacement replacement replacement bar to replace the replaced replacement bar.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 11 September 2015, 12:44:45
Have you considered building the bar to Castle Brian specs?
or if you can't afford that, try the BoP Industries Certified Discount Castle Brian Modular Fortress Building Construction SystemTM
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 11 September 2015, 14:20:23
Overlord, huh? Not one the dropships I don't have here.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 11 September 2015, 14:26:13
I thought the Bar was built on top of a old Castle Brian.  There a Rattler over there, for so long dirt piled around it making look like hill with trees.  Capital Missile size trees.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 11 September 2015, 15:26:35
The orginial Bar was. Then Wombat happened. Jonathan Cameron could see the future, but no one could plan for blue mayhem.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 11 September 2015, 17:05:17
See, this is why you build the bar INSIDE the fortified walls and roof.

When someone crashes a dropship, the bar is still standing, and when wombat crashes the bar, everything outside is still standing
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 12 September 2015, 00:59:10
It WAS built inside. Now it is built on the OUTSIDE using modular building sections. Just sweep up the old bar, fix any damage to level 2 deep two hex BattleTech map sized hole the bar was built on, install the new modular components and reopen for business until it gets destroyed again. We don't even have to file building permits.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 12 September 2015, 06:33:27
Which is good, because I hear the owners of the lot are Diamond Sharks.

Which says something when even they will not insure us.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 12 September 2015, 07:18:09
Insurance is to cover things that MIGHT happen.
Destruction of the bar is something that WILL happen.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 12 September 2015, 09:01:37
Point taken. And those pre-fabricated parts get more expensive all the time.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 12 September 2015, 12:03:24
And we all know that the BattleTech Whackyverse is all about blowing things up! And the longer things have been around the more likely it is to getting blown up or just messed with. Just ask any mercenary company of note that has caught the eye of Herb Beas, they can attest to that.  :P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 12 September 2015, 12:46:14
Yeppers. That is why the Gorillas avoid notoriety.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 13 September 2015, 15:12:06
You take page from a long lost Simpson's episode where they put Moe's Bar on wheels.  Bar could be wheeled out of the way or new one wheeled in.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 13 September 2015, 15:18:21
Oh, wait, I thought he was using the modular quick pop up buildings as constructed by ACME in Walla Walla Washington. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 September 2015, 22:33:43
Not allowed to comment. Nondisclosure agreements and all.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 14 September 2015, 23:47:49
Oh, sorry.    :(   I didn't think about the "legal" issues.  I guess I'll need to go find that sales,...    errrr   ummm    What was he?  A duck? 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 15 September 2015, 03:13:40
I really need to leave.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 15 September 2015, 03:34:54
Starts singing the Eagles "Hotel California". 
 
"You can check out any time you like
 But you can never leave..."   
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 15 September 2015, 04:25:11
Watch me.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 15 September 2015, 04:45:06
[Sits and watches.  Moving occasionally to get more comfortable or to get a better view. ]   [watch]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 September 2015, 20:19:30
We do have exits around here somewhere, but they are not clearly marked. And some lead into Wombat's pouch. They are supposed to be emergency exits from the pouch but are not marked at all and are in badly lit sections of the pouch...................
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 16 September 2015, 01:09:06
The lesson here is to always have your own light source and be able to navigate non-euclidean space.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 17 September 2015, 17:34:53
In Wombat's case mode like nonsensical space space..........
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 January 2016, 01:45:45
SPOON!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 27 January 2016, 07:05:42
You know the spork is superior you know.  ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 January 2016, 00:10:06
THEY don't make Sporks that big.  :P

Whoever They are.

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 28 January 2016, 00:44:32
That would be the Acme corporation from Walla Walla Washington.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 January 2016, 20:18:09
ACMETM makes just about anything......................almost as bad as Clangacorp.    Almost.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 January 2016, 20:22:33
Damn ACME corp out bigging BoP Food Industries Jumbo Giant CuttleryTM
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 29 January 2016, 01:07:17
Well, you know, some big shot black duck goes around selling their equipment.  Funny thing is that, I think, the only customer they have is some coyote that never does read the fine print until said piece of equipment fails for him. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 February 2016, 13:29:29
Well, ACMETM is at least a step up in quality over the junk made by ClangaCorp. It mostly works unless a Roadrunner is involved. Or a little black duck. Or a wascawwy wabbit. Or a gun toating galoot with a big mustache and a bigger attitude. Or a really fast mouse. Or a big rooster with a.......well, most toons.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 02 February 2016, 23:15:04
Well, ACMETM is at least a step up in quality over the junk made by ClangaCorp. It mostly works unless a Roadrunner is involved. Or a little black duck. Or a wascawwy wabbit. Or a gun toating galoot with a big mustache and a bigger attitude. Or a really fast mouse. Or a big rooster with a.......well, most toons.
I guess its fine print only a atomic magnifying glass can read.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 February 2016, 01:41:03
It's not really all that small of print. It's just that nobody ever bothers actually reading the licensing agreements.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 05 February 2016, 08:14:27
Well, the pictures really aren't all that clear. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 February 2016, 14:29:16
The pictures are the assembly instructions. The warning labels are in Samoan.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 10 February 2016, 01:24:16
Well, I guess that's better than them being in Navajo.   ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 10 February 2016, 08:03:30
It's better than in Legalese.  O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 11 February 2016, 01:35:36
No, legalese can still be deciphered by non-lawyers.    :P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 11 February 2016, 01:38:03
But not successfully understood, because of things like it depends of what the meaning of "is" is.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 11 February 2016, 01:40:27
Well "is" is a relative term.   I mean if I think therefor I am, what if I just thought?    :D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 11 February 2016, 17:23:44
I don't think so. Just saying............. :))
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 11 February 2016, 21:27:35
When will "now" be now?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 12 February 2016, 14:34:23
Later
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 12 February 2016, 15:15:17
Soon enough is not soon enough.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 12 February 2016, 18:09:18
yeah, but today is tomorrow's yesterday. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 February 2016, 21:56:34
That is soooooooooo last week.......... ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 15 February 2016, 20:52:03
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom
[Suddenly a suspectiously modified Delorien pulls up, with blue furry Wombat.  The driver side door swing upward with Wombat lifting his BlueRay sunglass with pair of Achoo's underwear in the other with a pilers for safety reasons]

Guess when i borrowed one these?

[As quickly as he came, swings the door down and zips off with bang and leaving a flaming tire trail inside the The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar's main hall.]


Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 February 2016, 19:05:02
If Wombat wants my used underwear ................ that's Wombat's problem, not mine.   8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 April 2016, 12:55:57
This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...This is the song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 06 April 2016, 14:44:23
That's enough achoo
how do I turn you off?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 06 April 2016, 15:10:58
It involes dropping a Wombat down his trousers i believe.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 06 April 2016, 18:09:45
No! no.   He said OFF.  Turn him off. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 April 2016, 19:18:27
 :P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 May 2016, 09:11:45
Off, On, whatever. Sheesh! Everybody is a critic. It's not as if I was actually singing that song. THEN you would have a good reason to be complaining.



Not about the song, about my atrocious singing.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: wolfgar on 23 July 2016, 20:29:05
Why not Both?

i have no regrets, Edit: except that the damn image didn't cooperate
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 23 July 2016, 22:27:20
Why not Zoidberg?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 July 2016, 21:48:24
Why Not Zoidberg?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 August 2016, 15:27:52
Why not Zoidberg?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 August 2016, 15:28:38
Why not Zoidberg??
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 August 2016, 15:29:41
Again, Why not Zoidberg??
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 August 2016, 15:30:49
Again with the "Why not Zoidberg" already!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 15 August 2016, 20:48:35
He's gone crazy, get the nets quickly!

*A bunch of white uniformed ferrets rush into the scene and throw big net over Achoo! Then they drag him off to the Funny Farm so he work on his act.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 August 2016, 18:23:35
About 30 seconds later the bunch of ferrets in white uniforms get dragged across the scene being dragged by Achoo, who just happens to be driving a big Harley motorcycle. Less than a minute later the ferrets run across the scene wearing white storm trooper uniforms being chased by a screaming Achoo, shooting a blaster pistol at the running ferrets. About a minute a hysterically giggling, mostly naked Achoo wearing little more than some soap bubbles and a toothy smile, chased by three times as many ferrets wearing white speedos waving scrub brushes. About a minute later ten times as many ferrets, wearing white nurse uniforms run screaming across the scene being chased by Achoo holding an absolutely huge needle and syringe. Less than a minute later Achoo zooms across the scene riding a jetbike, followed by more than one hundred ferrets crashing a lot trying to ride their own jetbikes, leaving a trail of burning wrecked jetbikes and twitchng ferrets calling for their momma's.

At this point Achoo sneaks back into the club through the front door, sits down into the director's chair and yells "CUT!" That's a wrap! If anybody needs a Doctor, Why not Zoidberg?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 17 August 2016, 06:02:55
Cut?  CUT!?
but my Spartan Laser was almost done charging
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 18 August 2016, 07:17:10
You need to get a better power system. You completely missed your scene and forgot your lines as well.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 18 August 2016, 12:37:59
That was not my fault.

This director is terrible.  Where'd you even find him, Sharknado 5?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 18 August 2016, 21:12:14
Nope. But I highly recommended myself to myself because I am AWESOME!  >:D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 18 August 2016, 22:03:58
Nope. But I highly recommended myself to myself because I am AWESOME!  >:D
You have 3 PPCs and small laser?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 18 August 2016, 22:48:43
That depends on which model he is. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 August 2016, 11:42:03
One fine day as I was a-walkin' down the street
Spied a beggar man with rags upon his feet
Took a penny from my pocket
In his tin cup I did drop it
I heard him say as I made my retreat


May the bird of paradise fly up your nose
May an elephant caress you with his toes
May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose


The laundry man is really on his toes
Found a hundred-dollar bill among my clothes
When he called me I came a-runnin'
Gave him back his dime for phonin'
I heard him sayin' as I turned to go


May the bird of paradise fly up your nose
May an elephant caress you with his toes
May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose


I was way behind one day to catch the train
Taxi driver said "We'll make it just the same"
The speed cop made it with us
And as he wrote out the ticket
I stood by politely a-waitin' for my change


May the bird of paradise fly up your nose
May an elephant caress you with his toes
May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose
May the bird of paradise fly up your nose

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 30 August 2016, 11:47:49
Achoo

Bless you

Thanks

... is bored. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 August 2016, 00:03:38
Wow! You went from semi-excited to bored in about 5 seconds! O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 November 2016, 14:31:49
Time to hose the place down again!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 07 November 2016, 02:22:08
Well, if you wouldn't sneeze everywhere it wouldn't need it.   Wait, that's a double negative.  let me think about how to re-word that...   
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 08 November 2016, 15:20:34
Jacob Cameron's Mechy Bits! This place is still here?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 November 2016, 16:26:07
This place has always been here. Well, not right here here. It gets blown up a lot. But yes, it is still here.  O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 08 November 2016, 17:24:23
Well, that explains why my stock in the disaster recovery firm keeps going up.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 November 2016, 23:09:46
Such is life...... 8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 15 November 2016, 08:56:07
*Blue Wombat suddenly slithers in and up to the Bar and *places a Sparking TNT "Candle" on the bar next to Achoo.  He then rushes to the stage where the "Good Old Blue Brothers" band is playing and takes the mic to says "Did somebody say were lacking in Explosions?!" and then on cue band starts play Rawhide as TnT exploded on the bar.*


BBBOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM!!!!!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 November 2016, 23:49:06
*sigh*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 29 December 2016, 08:59:15
[Wombat sits up and shakes the maple syrup off himself...don't ask. He looks around for a bit and scratches his butt with his foot, and then scratches his foot with his butt (again, don't ask) before opening the refrigerator. Immediately the saturation level in Wombat's fur goes completely grey monotone for a moment. He slams the refrigerator door shut and then proceeds to padlock it closed. Then he forgets what he was doing and opens it up again for a second whiff.]

"Oh for the love of hashbrowns, that's terrible!"

[Wombat padlocks the refrigerator shut again and then pulls a Sharpie marker out of his pouch to label it as bio-hazardous. Unfortunately Wombat neither knows how to write nor does he have opposable thumbs. He shrugs and proceeds to pull several slices of really-really-really oversized bread out of his pouch. Basically Texas-sized Texas toast. Wombat mayos up the refrigerator and proceeds to make himself a refrigerator sandwich. A few hundred pounds of fixings later, Wombat eats the refrigerator with the fervency of a Tharkad whore on double-coupon night. Of course the contents of the refrigerator spoiled a few years back, so naturally the entire concoction explodes inside Wombat's belly.]

**Ka-BOOM!!!**

[Wombat picks himself up off the ceiling, again don't ask, and rubs his ouchy belly for a few minutes.]

"...oh my belly doesn't feel so good now. I should see if Achoo has left any Chili Inferno laying around for me to munch on.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Sharpnel on 29 December 2016, 09:12:30
OK, who let Wombat back in? Heads are gonna roll for this breach in security! *looks down at ID badge* Hey, who made me a security officer?! *Looks at uniform to which the badge is pinned* And why am wearing a red shirt? *runs like hell attempting to remove red shirt along the way and failing*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 30 December 2016, 02:04:24
https://youtu.be/E90oZSY9M-s

Now Wombat, you know what the Chili Inferno-IIC does to your stomach, don't you?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 30 December 2016, 08:13:09
[Wombat shakes his widdle head, making a sound much like a peanut inside a peanut can.]

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 02 January 2017, 09:25:02
*sigh* I can't have nice things.


*sigh* Gotta call hazmat cleanup.                                    Again.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 02 January 2017, 16:06:32
I'm not sure that Hazmat is the right government agency...     :-\
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 02 January 2017, 18:55:17
Disaster Control?  Maybe old super repair group like Damage Control Inc is needed...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 02 January 2017, 22:29:52
I always put my life in the hands of the Disaster Instant Response Team
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 02 January 2017, 23:43:53
[Wombat pulls a pair of pliers, some forceps, and a crowbar out of his pouch and proceeds to remove Wranger's lips. He then attaches the lips to some leftover circuits from a Blackjack he dismantled, and a brain from a slightly crazed manatee, and then sets it free in an inflatable pool filled with puppy chow.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 02 January 2017, 23:47:43
Hey, i need thoses! *scrambles and get clone vat pair mounted as he tries call in the Wombat Reaction Team in the help Wombat find the door.*  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 03 January 2017, 01:45:55
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooo!     Don't you know what the Wombat does to doors??
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 04 January 2017, 07:32:14
[Wombat cannot be bothered to respond as he is busily removing the wings off an aerospace fighter in the driveway, painting them blue with about 117,000 bottles of finger nail polish, and using them as an giant ear prosthesis for himself.]

"These are great! I can totally hear myself thinking about stealing PurpleDragon's wallet!"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 January 2017, 23:28:37
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 05 January 2017, 03:24:45
I heard that. 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: TigerShark on 05 January 2017, 12:14:51
Huh?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 05 January 2017, 14:12:04
Is it me? *cough cough* is it hard breath in here?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 06 January 2017, 00:33:26
[Wombat squints his eyes a bit as Wrangler coughs. Somewhere deep inside Wombat's widdle brain, he listens to the coughing and struggles to catalog it.]

"...hmmm. Cough. Cough. Its seems very physical. Like Wrangler is being physical. Or he...oh yes! He needs a physical!"

[Wombat smiles to himself as he pulls a stethoscope out of his pouch, a doctor's coat (size XXXX-small), and some comically small rubber gloves. Next some ACME™ Mariachi turtles (not to be confused with Ninja turtles, of course) play some chase music over the next 12½ minutes while Wombat chases Wrangler around the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar. The song culminates as Wrangler is seen in the next scene (that totally rhymed) tied to an examination table while Wombat prepares to give him a phyiscal examination with a impact drill, 8 quarts of Astroglide, and....]


<<THIS SCENE HAS BEEN DEEMED INAPPROPRIATE BY THE ACME™ CENSORSHIP COMMITTEE. WE NOW FAST-FORWARD THE SCENE EXACTLY 7 MINUTES LATER>>

[Wombat smiles a big toothy grin as he paws through the various certificates he has, trying to figure out which to lick and stick on Wrangler.]

"You've been such a good patient. Okay let's see. We have "mostly healthy", nope. There is "didn't defecate himself"...nah. Of course "somewhat sane" and "still has use of limbs". I particularly am fond of "no lasting effects" and "low radiation alert", but I think we'll go with "didn't scream like a little girl all that much". I'll also stick the "still has two perfectly ounces of blood left" sticker on you too! Aren't a good physician?"

[Wombat pats himself on the head and waddles off. One of the ACME™ Mariachi turtles sticks a cartoon lollipop in Wrangler's on his way out. It appears to have a lit fuse on the end of it...]

**KA-BOOM!!!**
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 06 January 2017, 08:06:38
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/Somewhere in MechWarrior Heaven\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
WHere in tarnations am I?  Why is there beer flowing like water from waterfalls, there MechBunnies who are friendly where ever i go?

Did i Autoeject and the head of my T-Hawk didn't crack open?  Oh wait, Wombat did something.  Oh well, the beer free here.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/


*In the Bar, Immediately the Wombat is chased about by Ferrert police for the unlicensed examination of a one John Roger Wrangler!*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 10 January 2017, 02:17:07
Wow! Wrangler is trying to sort of out-wombat Wombat!


This won't end well. It will end even worse that my technicolor fart ended.




Where's the popcorn?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 16 January 2017, 14:00:45
[Wombat, in the meantime, appears to be trying to pull his widdle head out of a 220v ACME™ roto-plunger.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 January 2017, 20:38:46
[Achoo helpfully helps Wombat pull his widdle head out of the ACMETM roto-plunger by turning it on at full power.]  >:D

[The noise this makes cannot be accurately reproduced here. I am not going to even try.]   }:)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 17 January 2017, 03:31:00
*sluuuuuuuuurp*

                    *KA-CHUNG-KA-CHUNG-KA-CHUNG-KA-CHUNG-KA-CHUNG*

**whiir!!!*

*Ssssssssssssssssslat!!*


*Cha-Cha-Chigga!* *Cha-Cha-Chigga!* *Cha-Cha-Chigga!* *Cha-Cha-Chigga!*
[/b]

**Glupp!**

[Wombat slides out of the other end of the roto-plunger with his face on inside out and smelling much like 14-week old Kung Pow Chicken.]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 January 2017, 21:33:18
We need to send that poor roto-plunger either to therapy of to maintenance. Poor thing!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 28 January 2017, 00:20:29
Probably both
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 29 January 2017, 02:50:37
I'll call the Mechanic Therapist from Acme.
*Hello?  We have a Wombat related traumatization here...*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 29 January 2017, 06:39:16
How many times did you say "hello" before you realized they had hung up on you? 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 February 2017, 09:46:26
They are probably asking for details. There is usually a betting pool involved.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 05 February 2017, 21:57:37
Is it bad if i can claim i'm in that betting pool and i may have perhaps won percentage of the prize?

Anyways, i believe that Rotorooter thingy-am-bob had a Manei-Domini chip in it when it was made by BoP's factory outlet. 

Wait, why heck is it growing arms and legs and spotting gun?!? 

*Drops behind the bar as rotorooter machine starts firing randomly in the bar*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 February 2017, 17:02:37
I am one with the Farce. The Farce is with me. The Farce will protect me from harm.   OUCH! Hey! That hurt!
I am one with the Farce. The Farce is with me. The Farce will protect me YEEOUCH!
I am one with the Farce. The Farce will ARRRRRGH! To heck with the farce!
My double barreled pump action one gauge shotgun is with me!
KABLAM KABLAM
My double barreled pump action one gauge shotgun is with me!
KABLAM KABLAM
And it will cause you lots of harm!
KABLAM KABLAM
KABLAM KABLAM


Well, that killed that.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 20 February 2017, 14:48:58
Well, that's that. *holds his drink and sips it* Now you've put some nifty holes in the Bar.  Are you going get insurance claim against BoP's defective RotorRooter-Manai-Domini killer bot thing, Achoo?  I sure BoP Inc has deep pockets.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 February 2017, 23:35:50
BoP has worse product care plans than Clangacorp. Don't bother. It's better just to go buy something NOT made by either of them. Trust me on that one.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 21 February 2017, 01:18:20
If there's one thing I can guarantee, it's that 9000 series BoP cyberclones are 100% infallible
are 100% infallible
are 100% infallible
infal infal infal infal infal infal infal
This program has performed an illegal operation and must be arrested; self destruct sequence now active.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 21 February 2017, 08:11:08
OH! So that's why I keep hearing those pop noises from outside.  I thought they were just wildlife.

Good thing this bar is made out of sturdy stuff, or we turn into a rather nice cratered lagoon.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 February 2017, 12:11:48
Well, frequently replaced and repaired stuff.

Also a lot of modular construction stuff quickly and easily replaced.



And a lot of quickset armorcrete.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 21 February 2017, 15:50:06
Wasn't one of the previous bar's made out of Castle Brian and other a former Tiamat "Pocket WarShip" DropShip?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 23 February 2017, 14:45:16
Yup and Yup. But Wombat happened.  ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 02 March 2017, 23:58:59
is there a time, when Wombat didn't happen?  The little blue guy seems to have quietly slipped away again.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 03 March 2017, 00:50:22
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in the day.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: PurpleDragon on 03 March 2017, 11:18:47
When?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 03 March 2017, 14:41:12
When?
11 PM.  It was way late i heard.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 March 2017, 19:25:35
When?

O-dark thirty back before the Jihad.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 16 March 2017, 18:16:55
I remember the time before Wombat. It was a magical time of karaoki and all-night posting parties...

Now get off my lawn whippersnapper!!

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 17 March 2017, 19:26:42
Well, since I sort of am stuck with running this place it's my lawn. Unless you want to take over running this place into the ground.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 22 March 2017, 08:54:46
Into the ground???  I thought this was stationary building?  This is mobile structure with walker legs on it or something??

(http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141012112426/nanatsu-no-taizai/images/9/9d/Hawk%27s_Mother_digging.gif)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 22 March 2017, 13:35:37
Has anyone seen the bar? I would like to order a drink but it seems to be missing.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 22 March 2017, 15:26:48
Into the ground???  I thought this was stationary building?  This is mobile structure with walker legs on it or something??

(http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141012112426/nanatsu-no-taizai/images/9/9d/Hawk%27s_Mother_digging.gif)
Achoo's Moving Castle?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 22 March 2017, 18:04:21
Achoo's Moving Castle?
Moving Bar, being ran into the ground.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 23 March 2017, 04:08:54
And yet the gauss soda machines are still here. Well I suppose I shouldbe glad it is not the plasma variety.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 23 March 2017, 07:26:50
Gauss Soda Machine??? I got see how THAT works....*Wrangler to the side of the machine not quite trusting it, then puts c-bill and press the Achoola button and watches a soda shoot out of the soda dispenser.   Shooting out of the window which retracted with activation Soda Gauss machine.  Super sonic shot suddenly billows the room as everyones hears a weasel go "IEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeee" as Pink Achoola can plows through the critter.*

Hey, I didn't know Achoo had his own line soda.  Liquor i could believe, but sodas?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 March 2017, 02:47:19
Don't get the gauss pop machines angry. They take it personally and will hunt you down.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 24 March 2017, 08:04:49
Is that what happened to everyone else that used to hang around here?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 March 2017, 01:28:03
Not that I am aware of. It was my impression that Wombat stuffed them into his pouch and the have not yet managed to escape.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 27 March 2017, 15:59:56
Those poor lost souls.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 27 March 2017, 18:13:42
Properly screaming so loud, Wombat think's his MP3 player is playing Death Metal.

(https://adawoing.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/detroit-metal-city.jpg)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 March 2017, 17:40:24
Would anyone like some bubblegum beer?


Yes, it does exist.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 30 March 2017, 18:32:23
Why would you want a beer your blowing bubbles per sips? 
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 April 2017, 23:14:21
Because you can.  :)  And it comes in a can.  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 06 April 2017, 15:03:19
Canned Bubble Beer??
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 April 2017, 23:33:16
https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/11341/182796/ (https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/11341/182796/)

Just saying.........
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 21 April 2017, 14:19:47
*Wrangler takes a sip of the nnow slightly stale bubble beer and suddenly bubbles fly enveloping him a hugh bubble!*
Hey! Get me out of this thing!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 April 2017, 12:04:07
*bang*


*POP*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 22 April 2017, 23:56:01
*Wrangler falls from the sky, making Wrangler shaped hole in the bar's floor with high loud series of curses.  Some pretty dated back to old US West time period.  Suddenly it stops with sudden crash and deadly silence...*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 24 April 2017, 22:01:21
(Achoo drops a six pack of beer into the hole, followed by a ham sammich.)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Clangador on 25 April 2017, 11:02:27
I would like to play beer pong with Jupiter.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 25 April 2017, 18:07:50
Wait...you play beer pong with a Jupiter Assault Mech???  :o
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 April 2017, 01:25:06
Uhm.........maybe he wants to play beer pong with a huge mass of gas? Or somebody with a lot of gas?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Clangador on 01 May 2017, 00:19:47
I want to play a game of pong with Jupiter as the ball.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 01 May 2017, 15:12:20
 ??? . . o o O O (A large Jupiter BattleMech using circular Mech-Scale controller while Clang use the human-size one in game of Atari Pong??)

(https://i.makeagif.com/media/12-08-2015/FDGic6.gif)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 05 May 2017, 01:42:57
Sorry, watching Clang trying to figure out how to use his controller is ..........  #P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Clangador on 09 May 2017, 00:34:19
Sorry, watching Clang trying to figure out how to use his controller is ..........  #P

Hey first time I ever saw pong (or any video game for that matter) was at the King County Fair in Enumclaw. Of course, figuring out how to play it took until 2019.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 May 2017, 23:54:35
Wow, had to look that one up. Enumclaw, Salish for "place of evil spirits". Whoa.

Oh, well, it is better than the origins of Chicago. Shikaakwa, which means “striped skunk” or “smelly onion”.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 10 May 2017, 06:33:21
Wasn't Chicago bombed where the FASA building use to be? There plenty of those beetle borg spirts

Oh wait sorry different universe.  :))
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 11 May 2017, 00:22:57
We don't discuss FASA around these parts!   O:-)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Clangador on 12 May 2017, 15:14:49
Wasn't Chicago bombed where the FASA building use to be? There plenty of those beetle borg spirts

Oh wait sorry different universe.  :))

Yep it's land of evil spirits. I was born in that town. It may explain some things. Enumclaw is in the same county as Seattle.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 13 May 2017, 10:46:27
And built on a lahar created by Mt. Ranier created 5700 years ago.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Clangador on 13 May 2017, 13:31:45

Yea. There's a lot of best geological features in that area.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 May 2017, 00:54:38
And most of them come from the geological feature called Mt. Ranier.....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 20 May 2017, 10:16:08
Hope that Mt.Ranier doesn't decide it's time for redecorating!!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Clangador on 21 May 2017, 09:17:36
Hope that Mt.Ranier doesn't decide it's time for redecorating!!

We actually have evacuation routes mark via roadside signs in certain areas around here. I'm keeping my fingers crossed it doesn't erupt in my lifetime or my children's lifetimes.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 May 2017, 23:22:04
2 oz Pusser's rum   
4 oz Pineapple juice
1 oz Orange juice
1 oz Cream of coconut

Add all of the ingredients into a shaker and fill with ice.
Shake vigorously and strain into a hurricane glass or snifter filled with crushed ice.
Garnish with freshly grated nutmeg and a pineapple wedge.

It's called a painkiller. Just drink a few while you wait for Ranier to go postal.

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Clangador on 02 June 2017, 14:51:40

As long as it kills the pain.  :D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 June 2017, 00:02:55
Kills the pain while it kills the brain! A twofur!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Clangador on 06 June 2017, 00:08:24

I've heard brains can be quite painful.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 06 June 2017, 12:52:00
Thou Zombies say their tasty.   #P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 June 2017, 13:02:00
Thou doeth not sayeth!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 06 June 2017, 13:03:21
Oh know, Achoo, gone biblical!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 June 2017, 02:30:08
Thou knowist not how to spell whether or not thou knowest the difference between know and no. Thy spellchecker is somewhat suspect.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 07 June 2017, 08:12:55
I am the Typogod, misspellings grants me power.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 June 2017, 21:09:20
How does screwing up the spelling of words give you power? If that was true Mopar would waaaaaaaaaay outranks you!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 07 June 2017, 21:48:02
How does screwing up the spelling of words give you power? If that was true Mopar would waaaaaaaaaay outranks you!
Ahhh....Well, then I am but a minor god in comparison... ;)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Clangador on 09 June 2017, 01:15:12
Thou Zombies say their tasty.   #P

I bet the brains don't like that.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 11 June 2017, 22:47:06
Why don't you ask yours?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 12 June 2017, 07:03:29
I'd be more worried that brain was having a separate conversation with you given that brain IS you talking...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Clangador on 12 June 2017, 23:33:35
I'd be more worried that brain was having a separate conversation with you given that brain IS you talking...

No worries is you have an extra brain laying around.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 June 2017, 02:34:22
A lot o' scallywags here on CBT 'ave natters without usin' thar brains. Clang jus' happens t' be th' High Lord o' No Brainers.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 15 June 2017, 07:37:37
No worries is you have an extra brain laying around.
No no no, that's not mine. That's a rental from Wombat-Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaains-Rentals down the street.

They had Nicolas Kerensky's brain there too, but it looks little suspect. Their renting it below average cost. Something about it liking to furry things.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 June 2017, 23:54:42
Not to be confused with Clangs Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains Rentals, because they are always out of stock.   O0
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 07 August 2017, 13:26:51
*Knock on Bathroom door with Achoo still inside.*  Hey, you can't be hogging up the Bath Room this long.  We got people with issues needing access.  #P Two Months is enough time!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 August 2017, 00:13:53
(Wrangeler gets sucked into the bathroom by the wind from the waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay overpowered exhaust fan that had been holding the door shut, causing him to spin around in the vortex............)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 21 August 2017, 06:41:28
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Wrangler spin around in the vortex in the upper parts of lair until he get's tossed through the overhead vent.*
This sssuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccckssssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 August 2017, 01:36:29
[Sitting on the roof of the Salohma Club Achoo notes that Wrangler has left the building] }:)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 17 September 2017, 23:50:16
{{After hitting a old non-transforming Stinger LAM stuck in Fighter mode, Wrangler and the would be pilot crash lands the fighter onto the club sending Achoo into pool filled with giant mutant carp that gulps Achoo up mistakenly thinking he was food.}}

<<GULP!!>>


{{Climbing out of the wreck of the LAM, which managed to use it's Jump Jets one last time slow it's fall. Wrangler appears to be bit sore from his exploits and wanders to intact part of the Club for drink.}}

Man, those private flights are murder.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 September 2017, 00:44:01
[Achoo climbs out of the pool dripping wet and covered with carp guts]

I hate carp.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 06 October 2017, 11:40:43
[Achoo climbs out of the pool dripping wet and covered with carp guts]

I hate carp.
So...you don't give carp about them?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 October 2017, 15:57:33
Nope.


















'Nuf said.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 26 October 2017, 21:35:00
Are you going to be rebuilding the club after the LAM crash and Carp infesting the underground river that goes through this place?

Or you shutting the keys and just hanging out the Lair instead?  I hear the Weasels have great deal for 9.95 with free coffee break through in for love reconstruction job.... [blank] #P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 01 November 2017, 02:01:54
Old tradition. DON"T DESTROY THE BAR UNTIL THE LAST PAGE!

Since you lunatics destroyed it waaaaaaaaay before page 50 we are stuck with trying to hang out in the wreckage of the bar.

I'll go rent.........no, buy a trailer. That will have to do for now.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 01 November 2017, 06:57:09
Why not use Truetanker's mobile Structure? It's like a building with tracks and guns.
He has a nice wood bar in the center from what i hear.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 01 November 2017, 08:00:25
What you need is some BoP Industries Orbital Dropped Deployable Structures designed to level buildings and replace them in one fell swoop.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 November 2017, 00:15:19
Ugh....I would rather just rent some trailers for a while...........
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 08 November 2017, 07:55:14
*While drinking at the temporary bar, Wrangler looks at what appears to be a Catalog which Achoo appeared to have secretly ordered from...but in crayons that looks like scribbles...but on a electronic tablet. Appearing to have ordered on LEASE a Mobile Structure that used serve as a launch pad at nearby space port*

((Ground Rumbles))

*Over the distance rumbles a flat but huge former mobile structure used as a launch/landing pad for Spheroid DropShips. However, where the vehicle used to land appears to have a domed Pool area with tiki lounge / bar and a HUGE Sign neon sign proclaiming "The Salomhma Club and MechWarrior Bar".  With a sub sign below proclaiming "Now Open! First Round Drinks paid by Owner Mighty ACHOO!!"*

WoW! That's cool!  We get free round of drinks!  Thanks, Achoo!!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 24 December 2017, 21:50:22
* Truetanker dismounts from the Mobile Structure and walks over to the bar with a $100 Trillion C-Bill invoice with a very large red C.O.D. stamp on it for Achoo. *

Here's your bill of larder, sir.

* Hands over receipt onto the bar, with his other hand out waiting to receive a tip in the exchange. "

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 24 December 2017, 22:01:24
Good grief.  The man already pays for a new one.  Now ya charging for replacement covered by his insurance???

...wait...what's that ringing????

<<Meanwhile, over head....large but extremely strange dropship flies over head...with Christmas colors painted all over head...built from various parts of a long lost bar.....dropship engines, various Brian Castle components...is the WOMBAT who once again is attempting to bombard the land with Xmas cheer.....opening custom bomb bay doors....presents of various shapes land on each and everyone's door....some cases caving in the door..and house...

Number of large objects land near the bar, but thankfully the Anti-Capital Weapons hidden in Achoo's well hidden and prepared Club's parking lot pop out and blast inbound explosions and Robotic guided Assault Mechs out of sight.

Yelling all from the all frequencies "MERERY CHRISTMAS ALL and ALL A GOODNIGHT!!!!"

With wink of the Wombat's eye, he hits the after burners and streams across the horizon out of sight...with number of ilClan DropShips and fighters burning after the rascal this very night.>>

...omg that guy did it again.  He stole Achoo's underwear!  Close your eyes!

OOC: Merry Christmas to everyone, this very night!  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 05 January 2018, 19:34:34
An armored division's worth of radio controlled Hetzers rolls into the bar, red lights blinkinb on top. Suddeny each hezer explodes with a force equal to 40 tons of TNT.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 05 January 2018, 20:42:00
Wow, what sensational way to start the new year!!  :o
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 January 2018, 00:02:21
*sigh* Another temporary bar bites the dust.


Along with the supply of booze.


The fire is nice though......................
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 08 January 2018, 11:05:03
Wombat didn't get the Bar!  The bar aka mobile structure's anti-capital weapons zapped the inbound "objects" he fired.  He did take out some of the neighborhood with various munitions, including abandoned Lyran Assault Mechs he dropped.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 09 January 2018, 00:56:31
Yes, everything got shot down. But the debris fell onto the bar. A lot of debris fell on the bar. The real bar would have survived, but it got blown up a while back. It was a temporary bar and the debris fell on it. A lot. Se we need to get a replacement temporary replacement bar to replace the temporary replacement bar. At least temporarily......
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 09 January 2018, 07:54:00
Sounds like a temporal situation...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Sharpnel on 09 January 2018, 08:07:32
*A large ovoid DropShip descends in a open field nearby. An ancient Colossus by the looks of her. As it touches down the name of ship can be clearly be read, as it is bright orange neon lights*

Ponsonby's Magnificent Travelling Pleasure Circus And Booze Emporium. All Varieties Of Pleasure Are Available and Prices Are Negotiable.[/[/i]size][/color]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 09 January 2018, 13:40:30
*Due to the outrageous marquee text being used, BoP decides to shoot down the dropship using his patent pending BoP IndustriesTM bot-portable anti capital ship rifle.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 09 January 2018, 23:05:47
*Wrangler watches at curious horror as BoP shoot down a already landed DropShip full of bar girls and booze*

WHY IN SAM HILL ARE YOU DOING THAT?!??!

*Seeing the Dropship appears to be only slightly damaged from BoP malfunction in judgement. He walks up BoP and press the reboot button at back of his neck causing him to shutdown for next 48 hours while Windows3088 reconfigures his harddrive and logic circuits*.

*He then proceeds to the DropShip to check out the festivities that lies within.*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 11 January 2018, 19:43:25
* Wombat walks up BoP and press the reboot button at back of his neck causing him to shutdown for next 48 hours while Windows3088# reconfigures his harddrive and logic circuits. *

Windows3088 is a Word of Blake enhanced file

Fixed,
TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 17 January 2018, 14:00:51
And THAT is why we can't have nice things around here, like an MechWarrior Bar and the Salohma Club where us Olde Fossils can lay down and take a nap in peace and quiet! Damn rowdy youngin's!

(Repeatedly hits BoP about the face and neck with his cane!)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 17 January 2018, 16:44:59
*watches as Achoo proceeds to cave in BoP's noggin in with his cane of endo steel.*

Well, the DropShip is still there, might well check out this Ponsonby's Magnificent Travelling Pleasure Circus And Booze Emporium. 



Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 18 January 2018, 05:35:59
I'm pretty sure that atrocious marquee text of absurd font-size is the reason we can't have nice things.

I'M NOT SORRY!
*BoP pulls out a hip flask*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Sharpnel on 18 January 2018, 09:41:02
Partially correct. It's the reason you can't have nice things.


A bright flash appears and all BoP industry products on planet disappear, including the local factories.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 18 January 2018, 11:04:45
<<While gazing at various items in the the big dropship full of stuff and entertainment.  He suddenly get's alert on his phone.  Looking down on it he eyes widen as his cowboy hat slight tilts back as he holds up the screen in amazement!>>

What hell, the BoP stocks disappeared!!!  Oh well, i got other options....
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 January 2018, 14:24:08
Isn't Bop also a product of BoP Industries? And where did he go?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 28 January 2018, 01:35:07
I think the temporal artificial intelligence has been placed into ClarkeMarek for safe keeping until a Classic Clanguna Robotic Body can be fine tuned (maybe detuned) to handle his mind.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 January 2018, 13:17:30
I would not wish anything made by ClangaCorp on anyone, even my worse enemy. Well......maybe Wombat  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 28 January 2018, 15:52:08
What the hell happened to the bar? You disappear for about ten years, change your name seven or eight times and send RC Hetzer bombs everywhere then suddenly EVERYTHING CHANGES!!!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 28 January 2018, 18:04:47
What the hell happened to the bar? You disappear for about ten years, change your name seven or eight times and send RC Hetzer bombs everywhere then suddenly EVERYTHING CHANGES!!!
It was the Wombat.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 29 January 2018, 01:11:24
*A rumbling noise is heard as a BoP Industries Orbitally Deployed Autonomous Seed Factory drops next to the bar and begins building more factory.*
*BoP strolls across the street from the factory into the bar*

I wanna talk to your manager.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 29 January 2018, 02:01:03
* Massive ADA fire comes from Truetanker's Mobile unit as it fires on the BoP Mobile Factory above it. "

Oops... Forgot to turn off the self defense air system, again.

* Twirt Twirt *

* Gives Achoo a bill for the expended missiles and grabs a drink for BoP. *

Here ya go BoP ol' buddy! No hard feelings eh?

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 30 January 2018, 00:13:29
Hard feelings?  Like in thermo nuclear kind of feeling? That's feeling a lot heat.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 30 January 2018, 00:30:08
Their not Type-Ib Davey Crockett-Ms... their more like Thermobarics, Fuel-Air-Missile.

With the assorted fun stuff thrown in for prettiness.

Class III
Class IV
Class V
Colored Smoke, Pink
Colored Smoke, Purple
Colored Smoke, Neon Green
Aresol Anti-Fire Foam Dispensers
Flare, Blue
Flare, White

You know, fun stuff...

TT

( Which is why you frails are going to die, except me and maybe BoP. )
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 06 February 2018, 07:56:22
Their not Type-Ib Davey Crockett-Ms... their more like Thermobarics, Fuel-Air-Missile.
So Davey Crockett crack corn and I don t care because i'm dead anyways?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 06 February 2018, 09:16:53
Watch out, TT sounds about to go full Terminator on everyone.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 10 March 2018, 23:25:19
*sigh* We once had a nice club. And a nice bar. Once upon a time.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 11 March 2018, 00:06:36
Once upon a time, before the blue menace.  Now all we're are left with is a pink pikachu
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 11 March 2018, 08:37:50
*sigh* We once had a nice club. And a nice bar. Once upon a time.
That's what happens when you go one one those Poke'mon Journeys for months and then come back much later.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 12 March 2018, 00:41:10
Just took some time away.....................
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 18 March 2018, 14:23:03
Darn it, Achoo's fading!!  Call in the Walmart...arrrg...i mean the Wombat to revive him!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 20 April 2018, 23:37:38
*sigh*
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 20 April 2018, 23:38:50
Did someone just passed gas??

 >:D

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 21 April 2018, 01:42:58
Well of course.  It was going 45 in a 65 MPH zone.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 21 April 2018, 13:47:31
I'm surprised you weren't going Warp speed, BoP.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 21 April 2018, 20:05:26
Nah.  Ludicrous speed.
I've gone to plaid.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 April 2018, 14:01:24
I'm sort of just going. Sort of.  8)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 28 April 2018, 10:48:49
You being propelled as fast as you sneeze?  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 May 2018, 01:24:56
Nope. My sneezes don't have enough thrust to move my mass.   :(

Whiplash, on the other hand......   :P
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 07 May 2018, 08:18:03
Well, your going need get over whiplash since you need steal another Locust IIC since was stolen in the last thread by the Wombat in act of Grand Theft Mecha.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 May 2018, 01:37:06
Meh. Already stole a binary of them and painted them up in metallic green cammo with enough machineguns to make even a Piranha pilot say "That is a lot of machineguns, Quiaff?"
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 15 May 2018, 07:42:03
I'd love see these recounts of your mis-adventures, Achoo. You seem to have quite the troublemaker.  ;D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 15 May 2018, 20:59:52
Eh? You daft wrangler?

Wombat taught Achoo everythinnnnng he knows...

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 16 May 2018, 15:31:47
Eh? You daft wrangler?

Wombat taught Achoo everythinnnnng he knows...

TT
Wait...wat???? Is he some kind of Chinese marital artist with windy long moustache?

Stressing his "young" student?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 16 May 2018, 16:59:22
I'd love see these recounts of your mis-adventures, Achoo. You seem to have quite the troublemaker.  ;D

Your impling Achoo is the troublemaker.... wrong here bucko!

Wombat is the one you seek, Achoo is trying to recover from years of denotative abuse.

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 16 May 2018, 23:25:07
Your impling Achoo is the troublemaker.... wrong here bucko!

Wombat is the one you seek, Achoo is trying to recover from years of denotative abuse.

TT
So...he not fun loving trouble maker.  I don't know...he did that raid on the FedSun thread stealing their booze.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 27 May 2018, 23:54:08
It was the thread of raiding Terra to get booze. And I was running the Wobblies, who were "letting" the raid happen to test the local militia. And to see what the raiders were actually up too. Basically one faction knew what was going on but didn't tell anyone else. It was fun!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 01 June 2018, 07:40:46
You should have recorded the raid, be great thing to watch for movie night.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 June 2018, 23:29:39
It was like four iterations of this site ago.  :(
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 05 June 2018, 11:38:59
It was like four iterations of this site ago.  :(
It could be still in the wayback machine, it maybe still be found!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 June 2018, 22:52:58
That would be cool.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 24 June 2018, 13:16:02
Ah fond memories, where Achoo got a daily hazing from Wombat, and trboturtle got his shell waxed and danced on by said marsupial.

Fun times...  8)

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 11 July 2018, 14:06:25
It was the thread of raiding Terra to get booze. And I was running the Wobblies, who were "letting" the raid happen to test the local militia. And to see what the raiders were actually up too. Basically one faction knew what was going on but didn't tell anyone else. It was fun!

I remember that. That was about five usernames ago.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 11 July 2018, 14:15:12
When was that happening?  ???
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 11 July 2018, 15:31:39
I think I was SR71 back then. Or DiamondFox. So it has been a while.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 July 2018, 23:25:13
It was quite a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago, on a server crashed, buried and mourned.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 15 July 2018, 07:35:56
You should make new new new adventures. It's been too dull lately.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 15 July 2018, 13:37:06
We tried. But the role-playing aspect of the hall has kind of died out and things easily go off the rails.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 July 2018, 15:08:37
Well, that is your problem! You are using rails! You need to think off the track...…..maybe waaaaaaaaaaaay off the track.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 15 July 2018, 16:47:17
Good point mighty one. But I would love to pull some new folks to the bar for a mission .
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 15 July 2018, 17:33:07
I'll get the coal for the 100 ton military Steam train you have in the back of the property.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 July 2018, 12:43:44
It isn't mine. It is something that Wombat stole. I don't know where Wombat got it. I don't know how Wombat got it there. I don't touch it.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 16 July 2018, 20:24:46
Well your parking the thing in orbit. So you must have "borrowed" it from him.  Since he's properly slumbering in a lost pair pants you yet to find on that orbiting (wannabe) death star.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 22 July 2018, 23:53:25
I think you are more confused than normal here. The steam train parked behind the bar was stolen (probably) by Wombat. The bar itself I sort of took over from people who had been running it and just...….vanished.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 23 July 2018, 17:37:46
I'll put my technical ablilties online for this adventure, promise that there'll be booze and boo..ms, yeah booms, and I'll be there!

TT

Holding a large firecracker lit, waiting to go Booms!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 23 July 2018, 21:12:36
I'm sure Wombat was flying around in one these things.

(http://www.geocities.ws/jymset/Wombat.jpg)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 24 July 2018, 15:02:41
Wait, weren't we talking abot a mission?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 24 July 2018, 16:34:03
I'd be glad to run a chara, what setting, tech, old skool stuff or newer?

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 24 July 2018, 19:15:16
It's possible, depends if who going run it. I'd hope it be mighty Achoo, the shapechanging sneezer.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 August 2018, 01:36:05
I honestly don't have the time.  :(
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 06 August 2018, 08:14:02
What...can't you do a time share?  Borrow? steal...
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 08 August 2018, 23:10:19
I work full time at Walmart. Which means a variable time schedule.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 21 February 2019, 23:24:13
[Wombat waddles in carrying a small thermal detonator in his mouth. His fur seems to be wearing thin around the edges and he has a large grease spot on his belly. Probably better you don't ask. Curiously enough, his diaper appears to be recently changed. Wombat circles the floor a few times and sits down. He begins gnawing on the thermal detonator...]
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 22 February 2019, 07:41:16
Tanker! Head to the shelter! Wombat got into Achoo "secret" stash of explosives!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Drewbacca on 22 February 2019, 11:04:12
Wombat, how many times do I have to tell you.... you use the nutcracker on those.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 22 February 2019, 12:27:43
A pile of grenades in one of the booths isn't what I would call secret.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 23 February 2019, 08:33:08
A pile of grenades in one of the booths isn't what I would call secret.
It had sticky note on it that said "secret, my stuff" on it in red-pink marker .
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 23 February 2019, 14:07:08
Ahhh... look at the Lil fella gnawing away...

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 27 February 2019, 20:54:17
"...tastes like chicken. Although it sounds a bit like a baby snake, what with that hissing noise."
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Sharpnel on 27 February 2019, 21:05:03
The hissing noise? Oh that's just a fuse for the bomb.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 27 February 2019, 21:51:38
Properly snakes.  Snakes in a Bar vs Snakes on a plane.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 01 March 2019, 01:11:06
Meanwhile the Might Achoo, master of whatever he is master of, is bravely hiding, er, observing events in the bar from afar, uhm, a place of better observation. Yeah, that's the ticket!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 01 March 2019, 01:36:53
That's good for you achoo, who seems to having a Wombat hiding right next to you with one those Illudium PU-36 with sparks coming from it's wick.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wombat on 01 March 2019, 04:50:57
[The thing is, Wombat never considered who made the marsupial-pouch inside the inner-lining of Achoo's suit, although one really should check anything that has an ACMETM logo on it; but Wombat simply nods at the captions below reading this for the viewer and goes back to gnawing on the detonator of the explosive in his mouth inside the marsupial pouch inside the inner-lining of Achoo's suit.]

(nothing bad every happens under these circumstances**)

**probably.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 01 March 2019, 09:49:25
You look fat Achoo... what with that extra belt of jiggle your carrying around.

And it seems to be hissing too...

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 06 March 2019, 00:11:59
Nope. My emergency airbag went off and is deflating embarrassingly......dang it!
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 06 March 2019, 02:44:26
Is Achoo once again about to be defeated by sharp corners?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 06 March 2019, 13:03:33
I guess he been cornered.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 06 March 2019, 15:46:45
Ladies and Mechwarriors..
 In this corner, weighing in 100 kgs, covered in blue fur and with a mean streak a inch long... WOOooMMmmBAAaaT!

And in his own little paradise corner, weighing 180 kg, just shy of 181... colour me pink (gasp!) it's The Mighty Achoo!

Let's  get ready to RRrrummblllle!

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 07 March 2019, 23:46:32
If Wombat starts rumbling we are all in trouble. That means he has gotten into the Chili Inferno IIC again......
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 08 March 2019, 01:10:36
Isn't the blue menace ALWAYS into the Chili Inferno IIC?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 08 March 2019, 21:42:52
What did you think I slathered all over the detonator?

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 09 March 2019, 12:53:10
What you trying to do, cause premature detonation? I rather not see people trying use halon to put out the bar on fire.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: truetanker on 09 March 2019, 16:36:27
 it was either that or give him grav boots so he could do the moonwalk on turbotrtl's shell again...

TT
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 09 March 2019, 21:36:37
Gravdeck would work too.  However the Jumpship may not survive the experience.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 March 2019, 00:06:38
Well, if Chili Inferno IIC was slathered all over the detonator we are save from the detonator detonating. Because it will be inside Wombat's tummy when it detonates, which will have less destructive capability than the Chili Inferno IIC in Wombat's belly.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 21 March 2019, 06:44:32
What about the fireball coming from his tail end? 

[Watches as Wombat gases lite up a bar table as he skirts by.]  <<<<FLAMES!!!>>>>>
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 30 March 2019, 12:37:34
Meh. It's not quite at FATO levels yet.


Yet.


(BTW "FATO" means Fart Assisted Take Off.)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: BirdofPrey on 30 June 2019, 18:52:13
Is wombat producing enough thrust yet to launch a payload into orbit?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 30 June 2019, 21:55:12
Im sure he break orbit with enough that stuff burning out his butt.  xp
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 July 2019, 11:34:40
Only if he thrusts in a straight line. Wombat tends to flail while in flight, sending him careening all over the place. And occasionally he opens his mouth to scream, which acts as an air brake. And his pouch occasionally opens up, radically changing the direction he is flailing as stuff falls out. And every once in a while his Wombat suit gets blown off, which leaves him naked and tumbling. It would be fun to watch if it wasn't for the fact that his "vapor trail" is toxic, the stuff that falls out of his pouch is sometimes unexploded ordnance, he might accidentally crash into you, and occasionally he will grab onto you pleading "make it stop" and drag you along for the completely out of control event that is "THE FLIGHT OF THE WOMBAT!".
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 04 July 2019, 12:40:31
Wow, i hate see the Environmental Protection people have to clean up after Wombat's done flying around.  (watches as the blue flying wombat careers over hill tops ending in large explosion lighting the night skies.)
***[[[EXPLOSION]]]***
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 10 July 2019, 12:42:07
This is the best part! Give him about 30 seconds before he starts to fall to the ground! Well, if he remembers to fall. Sometimes he forgets about the whole gravity thing..... >:D
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 10 July 2019, 13:32:06
So he's not the Fall Guy?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 July 2019, 17:09:20
Only if he remembers to fall...…..it depends on how distracted he is. He never studied law...….but every once in a while it sort of dawns on him.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 14 July 2019, 19:49:42
Is that when he remembers whe he over a deep ravine?
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 14 July 2019, 21:08:44
Usually a long fall is involved...….unfortunately he frequently falls on me or through the roof of a newly opened bar thread... :thumbsup:
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 14 July 2019, 21:54:36
Woah he falls into a plot hole!
I guess it fiat..
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 15 July 2019, 22:00:55
Plot hole, pot hole, just a hole...…..it's a whole lot of falling involved.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 15 July 2019, 22:28:12
Don't he usually ends up falling on you and stealing your wallet?  I remember alot WANTED poster with Wombat face.
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 16 July 2019, 10:57:46
He stole those. All of them, as far as I can tell.  ::)
Title: Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
Post by: Wrangler on 31 July 2019, 14:26:34
[[Meanwhile, in a secretive room in what was once called China.  A blue wombat add yet another batch of Wanted Pictures to his wall, try complete wallpapering his house.]]