BattleTech - The Board Game of Armored Combat

BattleTech Player Boards => BattleTech Roleplaying => MechWarrior Hall => Topic started by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 14 December 2011, 16:13:57

Title: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 14 December 2011, 16:13:57
I'm not allowed to refer to the Daishi X as the Kitchen Sink.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Demon55 on 15 December 2011, 13:34:40
I am not allowed to launch totaled catapult battlemechs at my enemies using giant catapult siege machines.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 15 December 2011, 13:43:07
Of course not.

You should use a Trebuchet.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 15 December 2011, 14:03:06
I cannot plaster a Saran-wrapped nuke with diplomatic pouch stickers to get it through airport security. More importantly, I cannot do the same for a few garbage bags filled with assault rifles and high explosives.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Blackjack Jones on 16 December 2011, 23:27:31
I am no longer allowed to use the following to replace the bugle at Reveille:

1. Loud Music
2. Banging one or more objects together
3. Practice Ammunition
4. Live Ammunition
5. Riot Suppression chemicals
6. Any form of domesticated animal
7. Any form of wild animal
8. Any form of civilian vehicle
9. Any form of combat vehicle
10. Interpretive dance
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Grim_Reaper on 16 December 2011, 23:49:57
can't mail Nukes disguised as Coconuts just because Mythbusters proved you can mail a Coconut
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 17 December 2011, 16:08:08
I cannot convert a bulldozer into a large and mobile claymore mine.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Ghostbear_Gurdel on 17 December 2011, 16:38:08
of course not! SRM carriers more expendable
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Blackjack Jones on 18 December 2011, 07:14:00
No longer allowed to fill a Mule Dropship with styrofoam peanuts, then airdrop the cargo over a riot.

Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 18 December 2011, 13:20:24
I'm no longer allowed to nominate my CO for Upper Class Twit of the Year.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 19 December 2011, 01:01:00
I cannot use a TEA-fueled DPICM variant to make a point.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 19 December 2011, 01:57:05
I cannot use a Battlemech to go "noodling".

On a related note, I cannot bribe Privates to clean out the chasis after a failed breach check.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 19 December 2011, 03:32:37
can't mail Nukes disguised as Coconuts just because Mythbusters proved you can mail a Coconut
I cannot build a nuclear reactor from coconuts either.  Only Roy Hinkley, M.A., B.S., Ph.D. can do that.  Just don't ask him to build a raft.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 19 December 2011, 12:47:05
I cannot use "Maximum Leader" as a title for a character.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 20 December 2011, 11:27:48
Comments about the First Prince being a "syphilitic whore" are to be kept to a minimum.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 20 December 2011, 13:20:15
Telling the truth gets you hurt?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 20 December 2011, 13:30:06
The "ACME Anvil" trick only works once, I should not have wasted it on the cook.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 21 December 2011, 13:07:58
I'm not allowed to pay for a visit to a Canopian Pleasure Circus by pickpocketing the employees during the performances.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 21 December 2011, 18:28:04
I cannot attempt to kill the target by offering them a baby to kiss, with said baby coated with ricin.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 21 December 2011, 18:37:01
I can no longer start a strategic proposal with the phrase "First we get the lunch meat up to relativistic velocities..."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 21 December 2011, 19:05:55
I cannot purchase bird seed in bulk.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Blackjack Jones on 21 December 2011, 23:40:07
No longer allowed to use a myomer strand connected to a power source to make an "Infinite Bungee Jump".

No longer allowed to use said "Infinite Bungee Jump" as an interrogation method, impromptu incarceration facility, or substitute for a Day Care facility.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 22 December 2011, 11:58:41
I cannot commemorate a delegation's arrival by executing my political prisoners for their amusement.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Mastergunz on 23 December 2011, 13:23:19
I am no longer aloud to eat curry rice as a pre-workout meal.  :-[

-Gunz
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 24 December 2011, 13:46:53
Thermobarric weapons are not an acceptable substitute for fireworks.

However they still do a number on the plumbing system if you can find a toilet large enough to flush one.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 25 December 2011, 22:24:04
I cannot design anti-personnel rounds for the rapid-fire railguns used for base defense.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: lonewolfsyndrome on 25 December 2011, 22:40:23
I cannot design anti-personnel rounds for the rapid-fire railguns used for base defense.

Jello works better.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 26 December 2011, 14:14:30
If a player brings cookies for the group, they shall politely pass them around the table on a plate, not throw them to people.

That's right, you're not allowed to toss your cookies while playing BattleTech.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 28 December 2011, 02:23:12
I cannot convert a sonic barrier fence into a really large speaker system.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 28 December 2011, 03:31:06
I cannot use the capacitors for a Naval PPC to induction cook a Christmas goose.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 28 December 2011, 15:54:37
The officers' quarters are now strictly off limits for anyone bearing gifts of live rabbits and prunes.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Desert Raider on 28 December 2011, 17:39:09
I am nolonger allowed to play with fire,  knives, or the video remote
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 29 December 2011, 15:33:57
I cannot create a "Meat Baby" as the centerpiece of a meal.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Mastergunz on 29 December 2011, 15:47:58
I will no longer attempt to break up an argument between 2 women at work. An impossing physical stature means nothing when confronted with 2 pairs of 'laser beam eyes'.  #P

-Gunz
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Desert Raider on 29 December 2011, 19:37:19
I will no longer attempt to break up an argument between 2 women at work. An impossing physical stature means nothing when confronted with 2 pairs of 'laser beam eyes'.  #P

-Gunz
You're a braver man than I , MG

I will not EVER attempt to date someone crazier than myself.Again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Grim_Reaper on 29 December 2011, 19:50:14
I will no longer attempt to break up an argument between 2 women at work. An imposing physical stature means nothing when confronted with 2 pairs of 'laser beam eyes'.  #P

-Gunz
no resistance to 'the Look' i take it? (doesn't work on me for some reason)


I will not EVER attempt to date someone crazier than myself.Again.
I have, only difference was the 'Y' cromazone


NO longer can I use the excuse "The Falchion made me do it"
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 30 December 2011, 01:45:02
I will stop trying to rob banks in order to fund Internet start-up businesses centered around marketing Cthullu plushies.

(There is a reason I'm not allowed to run CYberpunk anymore.)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 30 December 2011, 03:51:07
I cannot use the Muppets as inspiration for character designs. Especially if they're human.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Grim_Reaper on 30 December 2011, 19:19:37
no longer allowed to create a 'Frankenstein' army made from body parts of Zombies, Borg, Manni Domini and Cloned Falchion Brains.
Last time it ended up a crime against Science, Nature and Inhumanity.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 30 December 2011, 22:49:21
I cannot create a thinly veiled murder device called "The Flying Threshing Machine."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 30 December 2011, 23:12:52
I'm not allowed to hunt down the person who created the malware that infected my computer this afternoon, remove his hands with a carrot peeler, and shove bullet ants up his nose.

Therefore I'll have to call tech support.

(Writing this on my smartphone)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 31 December 2011, 00:03:06
A shotgun loaded with slugs is not a skeleton key.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 31 December 2011, 00:17:13
It got the lock open, what's the problem?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 31 December 2011, 17:47:00
Vaults open outwards. I cannot get imaginative with a truck to make one open inwards.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Grim_Reaper on 31 December 2011, 21:38:43
I'm not allowed to hunt down the person who created the malware that infected my computer this afternoon, remove his hands with a carrot peeler, and shove bullet ants up his nose.

Therefore I'll have to call tech support.

(Writing this on my smartphone)
your thinking of being far too leinent there Ogre.
when it comes to those that write Malware and virus its open season. those guys are worse than lawyers. at least Lawyers serve a purpose
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 01 January 2012, 00:29:12
I cannot smuggle children on-planet to raise funds or to serve as couriers.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 01 January 2012, 00:43:18
your thinking of being far too leinent there Ogre.
when it comes to those that write Malware and virus its open season. those guys are worse than lawyers. at least Lawyers serve a purpose

Well, that was just step one...

Step four involves Falchion.

Step 7 involves things that even Falchion wouldn't do to a helpless prisoner.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 01 January 2012, 02:27:28
Is there such a thing?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 01 January 2012, 02:30:11
Nope.

I am not allowed near sleds when I have TNT, a rocket motor, and a motion sensor available as well.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Blackjack Jones on 03 January 2012, 01:29:45
No longer allowed to use strobe beacons or flares in combination with photosensitive explosives.

For that matter, I am no longer allowed to use any combustible or explosive device, that does not have a mechanical or electrical trigger.

 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Mastergunz on 03 January 2012, 14:35:44
I am no longer allowing MYSELF to date women whose name have the same first letter and number of sylibles. No matter how funny my friends seem to find it when I forget which one is which...  :D

-Gunz
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 03 January 2012, 16:17:29
I cannot exploit the use of a railgun sniper rifle for its logical conclusion as a BVR weapon.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 08 January 2012, 18:53:36
I cannot sell "Elephant onna stick" as a snack. No matter if I can provide these elephants through the miracles of miniaturization through genetic engineering.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 10 January 2012, 22:27:43
I can not train newbies to have a compulsion to bark on command as a means of drawing fire away from me.


More accurately I can't get the brass to authorize the training sessions.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 14 January 2012, 04:39:22
I'm not allowed to build a gunship that mounts a VTOL Jet Booster called the Airwolf.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 15 January 2012, 02:03:15
I am no longer allowed to make characters with the skill Knowledge(Yo' Mamma Jokes).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 16 January 2012, 06:16:40
I'm not allowed to build a gunship that mounts a VTOL Jet Booster called the Airwolf.

Damn I already did that.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 16 January 2012, 06:32:28
I am not allowed to leave any 'mech where our groups Mad Scientist technician can be near it unsupervised.

This includes the 'mechs we are breaking down for parts...

This especially includes ones with Gauss Rifles....

This also means not leaving the Doc on planet with our Quartermaster(a survivor of Battlemagic) while we
go on a contract...

The planet, by the way...was Arc Royal...

I am not to trust our Quartermaster to supervise Doc....

The result is "The Doc-illator"....
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 16 January 2012, 14:08:13
I cannot create "The Evil Helghan Pope Hat"...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 19 January 2012, 12:53:11
I cannot suggest a distraction including the line "...at which point the sled, on fire, hits the bank vault..."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Demon55 on 19 January 2012, 13:58:40
I cannot allow my unit's Dr. Aikenhead to treat headaches with a sledgehammer.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 19 January 2012, 14:04:53
It doesn't matter if the ratings were great. NOBODY is allowed to guest-star on a local cooking show while wearing a battlesuit.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 19 January 2012, 14:52:46
But I was totally going to teach people how to grill using a Salamander's flamers.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 19 January 2012, 15:41:45
...you must grill like my father does...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 19 January 2012, 19:41:47
I cannot allow my unit's Dr. Aikenhead to treat headaches with a sledgehammer.

I thought that was the Sledge-O-Matic health care proceedure for Elementals.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 19 January 2012, 20:14:34
No, they use sledgehammers to do back adjustments on Elementals, not treat headaches.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 20 January 2012, 15:12:12
I cannot create a one-woman wail as background music for an atrocity by burning down said woman's house with her extended family locked inside.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Ghostbear_Gurdel on 21 January 2012, 03:27:43
yeah, the acoustics are just way off, and she can never remember the lines....
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 21 January 2012, 16:01:38
I'm not allowed to make a Jinggau pilot named Rob Halford.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 23 January 2012, 20:20:41
I cannot attempt to create a totalitarian utopia on a planet after toppling the government.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 23 January 2012, 21:47:13
I cannot attempt to create a totalitarian utopia on a planet after toppling the government.

Well, you can. In fact, you can do it to a whole bunch of worlds! Provided your name is Devlin Stone
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 25 January 2012, 02:40:29
I'm not allowed to order my troops to burn a city just because I think the downtown district needs better nighttime illumination.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 25 January 2012, 03:23:08
I'm not allowed to order my troops to burn a city just because I think the downtown district needs better nighttime illumination.

Of course not! That is what incendiary arrow IVs are for!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 25 January 2012, 18:46:26
I cannot use anything derived from an Eargesplitten Loudenboomer.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 27 January 2012, 00:36:02
I can not find my boss in violation of Article ID-10-T.

He honestly didn't get it.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 27 January 2012, 01:10:20
Well, that joke is a little easier to pick up on if you read it instead of hear it.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 28 January 2012, 20:31:47
I cannot use the .50 BMG less lethal rounds again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 30 January 2012, 11:36:26
VLS is not an authorized method for the delivery of Girl Scouts anymore.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 30 January 2012, 17:17:48
THV rounds are again off-limits to me.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 02 February 2012, 00:59:12
I cannot use "Sim Broadway" as theme music for a combat sequence again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 02 February 2012, 01:08:20
I'm not allowed to use Davy Crockett rounds for precision strikes against single mechs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 03 February 2012, 00:17:22
I cannot load infantry into a bomb bay under the guise of air dropping mines. (The insurance adjusters demand that I be banned from the airfield for life.)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wartang on 05 February 2012, 22:53:24
Can no longer ask where the top half of the Jenner went... again; nor am I allowed to paint it pink and purple.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wartang on 07 February 2012, 09:19:25
Can not fire off all my flares at the enemy right in front of me without warning the rest of my squad first, again.

(MW4 multi player)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 07 February 2012, 13:37:18
I am no longer allowed to call the NBC team to the mess hall for tuna casserole night. However the medics are on speed dial.

As a side note, cleaning latrines is not a violation of my rights, and the Red Cross invetigates POW camps not barracks.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 09 February 2012, 22:00:00
I cannot use the medics as plaguebearers.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 10 February 2012, 05:42:00
I cannot use the medics as plaguebearers.

*takes notes* Really? It sounds like such a good idea!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 11 February 2012, 11:32:46
I cannot cook my meals on the heat shield on one of the weapon squad's GPMGs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: lonewolfsyndrome on 12 February 2012, 02:01:57
Necromancy is frowned upon... even if the cause of death was "friendly fire"
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 15 February 2012, 22:35:45
I cannot deploy my company's snipers for PR purposes by having them target the local revenue service offices.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: captainjohn on 17 February 2012, 03:31:42
i will not tell the kids it is ok  play hid and seek at the live fire range
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 19 February 2012, 20:57:49
I cannot walk artillery fire through urban areas to get on target. Again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 21 February 2012, 11:11:29
Thermobaric weapons do not constitue a warning shot, no matter how clearly they make a point.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: captainjohn on 23 February 2012, 04:09:20
I will not give pee wee herman my password again... the secert word of the day is... 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Blackjack Jones on 23 February 2012, 06:15:11
No longer allowed to use paint training rounds as a means of differentiating friendlies from hostiles.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 24 February 2012, 23:03:55
I cannot reprogram navigation satellites to tell officers where to  go and how to get there.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 26 February 2012, 00:57:55
I cannot use my Mosin Nagant as an incendiary weapon.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 26 February 2012, 01:26:59
My frost mage is not allowed to use "Taste the minty freshness and die!" as his battle cry.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 26 February 2012, 19:55:21
I cannot have an NPC reveal the PCs' hide while screaming the lyrics to Crazy Train.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 26 February 2012, 20:10:24
The ethics commitee has repeatedly informed me that the phrase "Under no circumstances is it appropriate" is not a request for me to hypothesize such a situation. The especially if the hypothesis is right.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 28 February 2012, 18:48:15
Goatees are not justification for me to execute plot-critical NPCs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: captainjohn on 28 February 2012, 19:03:49
i will not use inferno rounds to start a campfire
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 28 February 2012, 21:01:50
I am not allowed to take plot cues regarding the Manei Domini from The Fifth Element.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 28 February 2012, 21:39:26
Necrotized Care Bears are not to be distributed at the day care center.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 28 February 2012, 22:25:40
Goatees are not justification for me to execute plot-critical NPCs.

Of course not..>Goatees are stylish nowadays...Now, Van Dykes, on the other hand....
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 28 February 2012, 22:51:46
Van Dykes are cool.  (The facial hair style.  Sorry Dick.)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 01 March 2012, 02:10:38
I cannot chase my enemies while riding a gigantic robotic chicken which is on fire.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 01 March 2012, 02:34:27
I cannot have pizza delivered to my foxhole, no matter how much it improves my morale.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 02 March 2012, 02:42:27
I cannot blast "morale-enhancement" music before a combat jump. Especially if it's "Jungle Jazz" by Kool & The Gang.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 02 March 2012, 03:44:14
I'm not allowed to name a dropship "Your Mother."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 02 March 2012, 13:56:50
I am no longer allowed to make fun use of sand bags, tree branches, a small cluster of surplus mines, and a small sign warning the oncoming forces 'There are Capellans present, advance at your own risk' while my own units run the heck away for something more defensible to hide at.

I am also no longer allowed to have all my combat units be in hidden deployment on the map before game start.

Command Detonated Mines are not an acceptable way of saying hello.

Vibro-bombs can not have 'door to door solicitor' as their setting.

I am not longer allowed to attempt to justify why I should be allowed to bring an SSGN/SSBN into a scenario as offboard artillery for a campaign.   No one likes massed cruise missile strikes (well, maybe the spotting units) as a wake up call to start an engagement.

I am not longer allowed to see just how many bodies it takes to gum up the tracks on a tank or to trip a battlemech (IE:  No, I can't just take all infantry and field guns anymore).

Dropships may not be used as a way to clear out a plot of land for new house.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wartang on 02 March 2012, 16:08:58
Cannot randomly plant "mine field" signs in the clear fields around our base.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Grimnahr on 02 March 2012, 17:16:33
Plasma guns are not aloud anywhere near the fuel dump!!! 

Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Moonsword on 02 March 2012, 18:02:16
The theme to Band of Brothers is what we're looking for in terms of parachute drop music, not "It's Raining Men", however appropriate the lyrics may be.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 02 March 2012, 20:14:41
I prefer "Ram It Down!" but for some reason that makes the rest of the squad nervous.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 02 March 2012, 22:37:58
I am not longer allowed to attempt to justify why I should be allowed to bring an SSGN/SSBN into a scenario as offboard artillery for a campaign.   No one likes massed cruise missile strikes (well, maybe the spotting units) as a wake up call to start an engagement.
You got beer for 160?  That's how you justify it.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 02 March 2012, 23:05:26
I am not allowed to have my squad mousehole their way to flank the enemy machine guns.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Grimnahr on 04 March 2012, 14:09:33
By no circumstances am I to give the new Kid a piece of chalk and a hammer and tell him to go find the soft spots on the First Sergeants Warhammer. 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 04 March 2012, 14:26:39
I cannot use the autocannons to deal with incoming infantry. Especially with descriptions.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 19 March 2012, 00:54:56
i will not use inferno rounds to start a campfire
Will not use cryo-rounds to make it snow.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Demon55 on 21 March 2012, 19:31:06
I cannot sow every enemy field with salt, despite its efficiency. 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 24 March 2012, 00:52:41
I cannot "mix it up" when deploying a minefield by scattering the skulls of children into the field as well.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 24 March 2012, 01:04:53
I cannot replace the radios in diplomatic vehicles with NARC beacons.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 27 March 2012, 16:19:45
I cannot disguise my grenades as lumps of coal. Nor may I dress up as Santa and pelt my enemies with said lumps of "coal."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 27 March 2012, 16:37:38
I can't load tear gas rounds with psychotropic drugs, fire them into a field hospital, and play Barney songs over directed speakers in order to distract enemy commanders.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 27 March 2012, 21:27:03
I can't load tear gas rounds with psychotropic drugs, fire them into a field hospital, and play Barney songs over directed speakers in order to distract enemy commanders.

Wait a second, that's not bad, it's genius!!!  Why *not* do that?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 27 March 2012, 21:35:25
Wait a second, that's not bad, it's genius!!!  Why *not* do that?

Long term psychological damage that might get you a reprimand or worse.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 27 March 2012, 23:29:24
Wait a second, that's not bad, it's genius!!!  Why *not* do that?

Because it uses up the supply of drugs that I need to use distracting MY commanding officers from all my other antics.  >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Der Kommissar on 28 March 2012, 00:18:38
I am not allowed to shoot at our unit's Harasser light hovertanks in an attempt to knock out multiple enemies with the resultant fuel and ammunition explosion.

I am not allowed to try and justify shooting at our unit's Harasser light hovertanks by telling the CO that "statistically speaking, they were doomed, anyway."

I am not allowed to volunteer anyone but myself for a noble sacrifice for the good of the unit.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 28 March 2012, 05:47:20
I am not allowed to Telekinetically unzip the top of a female party member, using the Force, to stun enemy combatants - allowing her to take them down...any more.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 March 2012, 12:07:39
I am not allowed to load up trucks with Long Tom Ammunition and tell the drivers to use the legs of the enemy force BattleMechs as pylons for racing. Especially the suicidal drivers.



But it works.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wartang on 28 March 2012, 18:38:25
I am not allowed to Telekinetically unzip the top of a female party member, using the Force, to stun enemy combatants - allowing her to take them down...any more.

Fatality
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRefeiSYRQ4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRefeiSYRQ4)  >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 29 March 2012, 18:54:28
I cannot facilitate a breakdown in diplomatic relations by blasting loud patriotic music at an embassy again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 29 March 2012, 23:45:58
Using games of "Never Have I Ever" as an interrogational technique does not qualify my alcohol consumption as a work related expense, and I will not be reimbursed from unit funds.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 30 March 2012, 02:08:05
I cannot alcoholboard the captured Clanners.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 30 March 2012, 12:41:30
That's a waste of resources.

Unless you're using a domestic beer.  In that case, go right ahead.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 30 March 2012, 12:49:25
That's a waste of resources.

Unless you're using a domestic beer.  In that case, go right ahead.

He could also be using confiscated moonshine.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 30 March 2012, 13:42:50
That's a waste of resources.

Unless you're using a domestic beer.  In that case, go right ahead.

That's still just waterboarding.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 30 March 2012, 22:43:29
"Improvised weapon" does not mean "beat him to death with a box of strudels."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 31 March 2012, 01:30:49
I am not to call in orbital fire to sign my name in a captured city.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 31 March 2012, 09:17:12
I am not to call in orbital fire to sign my name in a captured city.

How about a hill overlooking the town with Naval Lasers?   No loss then!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 01 April 2012, 19:21:04
I cannot use puns in messages to higher command that I've conquered cities (I have Sindh, etc.) or other regions.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 04 April 2012, 11:26:22
The local farm is not the place to dispose of executed POWs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 04 April 2012, 13:28:55
Off to the meat-packing facility!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 05 April 2012, 01:49:31
My solution to all problems cannot be "Douse it in honey and let the bears take care of it."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 17 April 2012, 15:22:06
There is no Solaris VII infantry arena in Kobe called "Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 17 April 2012, 16:08:22
I am not to have the Astechs realign the main deflector dish, nor can I have them calibrate the dilitum matrix.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 18 April 2012, 02:51:56
I cannot build speakers loud enough to knock the walls of the embassy over.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Col. Chiang on 18 April 2012, 07:18:04
The infantry commander would like to inform me that the Inferno warheads I took from the armory are not a suitable substitute for the sriracha sauce that I borrowed from the mess hall for a "morale-building exercise".


Additionally, sriracha creatively applied to prisoners has also been banned after that last set of Clansmen died under "mysterious circumstances"...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 19 April 2012, 00:44:13
I cannot break a siege by mailing the commander the severed fingertips of his family, who are also behind the walls with him.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 19 April 2012, 00:49:10
I cannot break a siege by mailing the commander the severed fingertips of his family, who are also behind the walls with him.

I don't know...if they really WERE the severed fingertips of his family, that might make the commander decide
that, perhaps, negotiation is the better part of valour....
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 19 April 2012, 01:07:17
I can not send enemies under seige supplies of "nutritional supplement #3" bars as goodwill gifts.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 19 April 2012, 02:10:05
I don't know...if they really WERE the severed fingertips of his family, that might make the commander decide
that, perhaps, negotiation is the better part of valour....

They were his family's fingertips. I had an team go over the wall and take them a half hour before I sent another probing strike to cut the commander off from where the dependents were kept.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 19 April 2012, 02:45:48
They were his family's fingertips. I had an team go over the wall and take them a half hour before I sent another probing strike to cut the commander off from where the dependents were kept.

OK.....so why is this a "do not"? It, actually, is quite a bit nice compared to what the new head of the Death Commandos did
on one planet, and is actually very Liao-like. *takes notes* I need to do this in a game to my players sometime...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 19 April 2012, 18:31:52
Eh, the GM was all squeamish about it. And, as I keep repeating, I've got an game set up for a Falchion-style adventure, and I'm always looking for new test subjects.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 20 April 2012, 23:19:18
First resort is not throwing the prisoners into the pit of slavering phallus wolves.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 01 May 2012, 22:49:38
I cannot use a Kanazuchi to effect entry into a sealed room as part of a mixed infantry element.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 02 May 2012, 00:02:33
Astral projection is not to be used for supernatural trolling of the skeptics society.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Col. Chiang on 02 May 2012, 06:20:30
Swapping the signs between the gym showers and the Basic Training tear gas exposure chamber is contraindicated.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 05 May 2012, 17:20:01
There was nothing "supernatural" about how the CO's daughter ended up naked in bed with me.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Scotty on 05 May 2012, 23:29:58
Guys, I think it's important that sometimes we come back to our roots.  Therefore, the most important and oldest Do Not of all.

Thou shalt not inflict Falchion upon thine allies, only thine enemies.  Unless thine allies are being jerks and deserve it.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 06 May 2012, 00:51:18
Guys, I think it's important that sometimes we come back to our roots.  Therefore, the most important and oldest Do Not of all.

Thou shalt not inflict Falchion upon thine allies, only thine enemies.  Unless thine allies are being jerks and deserve it.

Of course, inflicting Falchion on your enemies can be considered to constitute a war crime...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 06 May 2012, 12:47:21
I am not use inducted 2-stroke diesel exhaust as a way to keep contractors and yard dogs out of the ship intentionally.

As a side effect, it is allowed.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Terminax on 06 May 2012, 14:51:28
I am not allowed to use racial epitaphs, strong language or dead baby jokes while attending community outreach programs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 06 May 2012, 16:56:44
I cannot use the CO's summer home as a rangefinder for artillery.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 06 May 2012, 17:48:41
I cannot use PMCs as bullet sponges for my troops during assaults.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 06 May 2012, 18:29:53
I cannot demote superior officers, nor is "Wesley Crusher" a rank.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 06 May 2012, 21:13:26
I cannot hire new mercenaries by asking for their rap sheets rather than resumes.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 06 May 2012, 21:59:48
There's a difference? ???
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Col. Chiang on 06 May 2012, 22:01:04
Weaponized deer ticks:  against the Ares Conventions (but still a Good Ideatm).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 08 May 2012, 00:26:45
I cannot use burning prams to distract the enemy.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MrJake on 08 May 2012, 00:54:15
I cannot produce, direct, distribute, sell, or participate in "MechPorn".

Even if there is a market for it.

I also cannot tell recruits that it is merely a way to improve their piloting skills.

Even if it does.

I can no longer own a camera.

Or be within 10 meters of the recruits.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 08 May 2012, 18:08:00
I cannot keep heating my rations on the machine gun's water jacket.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 08 May 2012, 18:23:51
I cannot use Inferno rounds to light a campfire during survival training.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Col. Chiang on 08 May 2012, 18:33:00
Tactical nuclear weapons are not to be issued to the grunts as cigarette lighters (even if Ted Taylor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Taylor_(physicist)) proved it could be done (http://gpsinertial.blogspot.com/2010/09/how-to-light-cigarette-safely-with.html)).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ShadowSeraph on 08 May 2012, 22:10:45
I am no longer allowed to leave our Capellan Maskarovika Acupuncturist along with any more captured enemy personnel, no matter how effective it is in making them divulge information.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Terminax on 08 May 2012, 22:15:05
I am allowed to respond to enemy fire... so long as that response isn't by using my 'mech to throw farm animals (alive or dead) at them.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MrJake on 09 May 2012, 02:07:21
If I name my mech the Enola Gay, I shouldn't be surprised when everyone shoots at it.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 09 May 2012, 02:17:52
That's a name for an aerospace fighter, not a mech. #P

I'm not allowed to rig the Battle Armor squad's suits to play pornographic videos via their suits' mimetic systems.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: SethsMatches on 09 May 2012, 04:08:58
I'm not allowed to put 'mech coolant in the punch, again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 09 May 2012, 18:42:50
I cannot end an ATOW campaign by hiring a Tech named Tim Taylor.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 09 May 2012, 19:51:52
But every Battlemech needs more power!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 09 May 2012, 20:47:21
True, but not every 'mech should have a Supercharger added.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 09 May 2012, 21:12:51
True, but not every 'mech should have a Supercharger added.

You really do not want to tell that to my groups Alpha Trinary Commander...that is actually a standard order from him!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ShadowSeraph on 09 May 2012, 21:26:02
Because seriously, Red makes it go fasta!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 09 May 2012, 22:47:31
Because seriously, Red makes it go fasta!

But..they are slate grey with a slightly darker grey Delta painted on them! There is no red!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 13 May 2012, 18:23:58
It is not a war crime if I do it. It is a crime against humanity at large.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 13 May 2012, 19:24:58
Falchion: the only individual capable of being charged with crimes against humanity for making a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 13 May 2012, 19:40:38
Falchion: the only individual capable of being charged with crimes against humanity for making a peanut butter & jelly sandwich.

Soylent Jelly is made from people!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 13 May 2012, 20:00:39
I cannot freeze the MechWarriors' neurohelmets in blocks of ice in retaliation for a perceived slight.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 14 May 2012, 00:02:08
I cannot freeze the MechWarriors' neurohelmets in blocks of ice in retaliation for a perceived slight.

Sure you can.  As long as they're not wearing them at the time...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 14 May 2012, 01:20:05
I cannot run a jungle adventure called "Mutual of Omaha's Wild City Slicker Buffet."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 14 May 2012, 02:35:06
I cannot answer the regimental sergeant major when he asks what the spoon on my vest is for.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Col. Chiang on 14 May 2012, 08:11:28
I cannot answer the regimental sergeant major when he asks what the spoon on my vest is for.

"Because it'll hurt more..."?


On a similar note, I am not allowed to go fishing with a melon baller and then yell "SPEAK!" at the removed parts...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 15 May 2012, 19:47:00
"Because it'll hurt more..."?

Actually, the response involves making eating certain areas easier... :-X

I cannot use fog machines as part of a psyops program again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 15 May 2012, 19:51:25
I am not to distribute rubber chickens and "Bacos" tm  to midshipmen on their first leave overshores. I'm most definitely not allowed to explain what their for.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 16 May 2012, 21:24:41
I cannot detonate meth labs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 16 May 2012, 22:41:38
Yeah, they really just tend to fast burn.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 19 May 2012, 02:23:41
I cannot endorse a Sherman method of warfare.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 19 May 2012, 02:38:11
You don't like making neckties out of railroad tracks?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 19 May 2012, 03:21:18
I cannot endorse a Sherman method of warfare.
Yes, I can.  War is about making the other side submit to your will.  Sherman chose to do it in the most emphatic method possible.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 20 May 2012, 00:49:30
Yes, I can.  War is about making the other side submit to your will.  Sherman chose to do it in the most emphatic method possible.

Aff, and, of course, Sherman understood that war can only continue as long as the population is willing to support the war.
Thus, his actions, brutal as they were, were justified at the time. They are similar to tactics used in Germany in WW2 with
where we would bomb(see: Dresden). The only difference, really, between a War Crime and a Viable Military Tactic is:
Which side won?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 20 May 2012, 00:56:32
Aff, and, of course, Sherman understood that war can only continue as long as the population is willing to support the war.
Thus, his actions, brutal as they were, were justified at the time. They are similar to tactics used in Germany in WW2 with
where we would bomb(see: Dresden). The only difference, really, between a War Crime and a Viable Military Tactic is:
Which side won? Is Falchion doing it?

Fixed that for you.

My character cannot draw inspiration for strategies from reading vintage Superman comics again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 20 May 2012, 12:06:31
I can not inflict a country song upon someones life.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 21 May 2012, 10:13:48
I cannot resort to suicide bombers to get the party moving again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ShadowSeraph on 21 May 2012, 22:08:27
Once again, i am no longer allowed to roll up a Rogue for a Dungeons and Dragons game, seeing that no one gaming group is truly prepared for the malicious, manipulative, riddle speaking character that he normally turns into.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 22 May 2012, 11:19:44
I cannot bring GPMGs into an apartment block for suppression.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 22 May 2012, 11:57:47
I cannot bring GPMGs into an apartment block for suppression.

At least....not in BattleTech. Inshadowrun, however, especially when it loaded with Stick n Shock, it is perfectly
acceptable!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 22 May 2012, 12:48:39
Actually, the issue was with the other players and not me. I was happy to zig-zag my fire through the walls since drywall is nothing against .30-caliber AP rounds. But then they started fussing about things like "civilian casualties" and "unacceptable use of firepower."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 22 May 2012, 22:50:48
Actually, the issue was with the other players and not me. I was happy to zig-zag my fire through the walls since drywall is nothing against .30-caliber AP rounds. But then they started fussing about things like "civilian casualties" and "unacceptable use of firepower."

Civilians should no better then to be in a Warzone...especially in the BattleTech Universe.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 23 May 2012, 00:25:19
I cannot set up shop in a whipped cream factory "because it has all the tools I need."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 23 May 2012, 00:42:19
I cannot replace my strategic planning office with a Magic 8-Ball.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 23 May 2012, 01:14:13
I cannot use "Kepi Blanc" as a character's theme.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 23 May 2012, 20:26:50
I cannot use "Kepi Blanc" as a character's theme.
Then how are you supposed to properly staff a mercenary unit?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 23 May 2012, 20:37:56
The Long Tom is not to be used as an instrument for the percussion parts of the 1812 Overture.


On a related note, the 1812 Overture is apparently not an acceptable substitute for reveille.
Especially when the XO has a "slight" hangover.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 23 May 2012, 20:42:01
Artillery Operators (especially Long Tom Operators) are no longer to refer to Mechs as canned SPAM (Spare Parts, Ammunition,Mechwarrior).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 23 May 2012, 20:44:29
The correct response to an order to release the hostages is not "Come up here and make me pretty boy!"
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 23 May 2012, 20:48:39
Just because a warrior is willing to die does not mean he wants to die.
Apparently painting your Long Tom in M.A.S.H. unit colors with a red cross and claiming the artillery is "long-range assisted suicide" is NOT permissable under the articles of war.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 23 May 2012, 20:52:42
Apparently it is "against regulations" to have the artillery loaders paint the rounds yellow and refer to them as "lemons".

In a related note, I need some guys from the motor pool to help me remove the three foot high letters spelling "LIFE" from my Long Tom.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 23 May 2012, 20:55:30
Artillery Operators hacking into the mech com system and yelling "EJECT!! EJECT!!" is frowned upon during training exercises.

Doubly-so during live round training.

Absolutely unacceptable during actual engagments.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 23 May 2012, 21:13:50
Artillery Operators are not to bribe the techs in the motor pool into painting the mechs in the XOs lance to look like they are wearing pink bunny slippers.
Or wellies.
Or mittens.
Or fuzzy hats.
Or moustaches.
Or diapers.
Especially not diapers.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 23 May 2012, 21:15:47
Apparently it is frowned upon to use the Long Tom for "waste removal" after latrine duty for ignoring or inspiring previous regulation ammendments/addendums.

Especially when the "waste" canisters in question are lobbed toward the enemy encampment.

No matter how appropriate it may seem at the time.

Which was about 3 in the morning....
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 23 May 2012, 21:23:32
For some reason, it is unacceptable for Artillery Operators to refer to Dropships as "pinatas" and the contents as "candy".

It is also unacceptable to request a blindfold when firing at the "pinatas" because "otherwise it is cheating".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 23 May 2012, 21:25:18
 During war game exercises, Artillery Operators may no longer refer to targetting the XO as "Pinning the Tail on the Donkey".

Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 23 May 2012, 21:57:26
Dude, there's an edit button for your posts.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 23 May 2012, 22:29:22
*takes note from Chervil* So...

I take it you a) like artillery and b) REALLY like Long Toms and c) You are either in Falchion's group, or your group is
as crazy as Falchion's...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 23 May 2012, 22:32:29
I cannot send my enemies "The Gift of Septicemia."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 23 May 2012, 22:37:19
I cannot send my enemies "The Gift of Septicemia."

Well..you can..especially if you are Scientist Conspiracy...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 23 May 2012, 23:44:29
*takes note from Chervil* So...

I take it you a) like artillery and b) REALLY like Long Toms and c) You are either in Falchion's group, or your group is
as crazy as Falchion's...

Actually, I do indeed like artillery.
When I played the WK MW I was very deadly with it, especially the Long Tom and the Padilla.
Don't know Falchion and unfortunately no one around me plays (yet) but I have always been just a little crazy anyway...
I can do crazy all by myself!  :D

On a side note, I am no longer allowed to refer to Clan Members as "Exam Potatoes" in reference to their being "test tubers".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Deathrider6 on 24 May 2012, 00:30:21
Just a note. If you have more that one "Do Not" it is acceptable to combine them in to one post. It is highly recommended that you do.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Chervil on 24 May 2012, 03:15:22
Just a note. If you have more that one "Do Not" it is acceptable to combine them in to one post. It is highly recommended that you do.

Sorry about that.
Pretty new to the boards still and wasn't sure how this particular "game" worked. :-[
I'll make sure to keep them consolidated in the future. O:-)

That being said, I am no longer allowed to insist my artillery piece be referred to as Thomas because "when they're this big, they don't like being called Tom anymore..."

VTOLs are not to be referred to as "clay pigeons" and artillery spotters are not to yell "pull" every time one passes.
Also, FRIENDLY VTOLS are not viable targets, despite my spotter having yelled "pull".
On a related note, I am no longer to train my spotter to yell "pull" every time he sees a VTOL.

Apparently adding loose glitter to the artillery ammo is "frowned upon" even though it makes things more festive.

Ranging shots are no longer to be referred to as "free samples".

Announcing the position of my artillery unit to the enemy by writing "Come Get Some!" in sandbags, large rocks or pine cones is against regulations.

Despite the civilian symbolism, in the military XO does not refer to hugs and kisses and new recruits are not to be told that the Executive Officer is called the XO because he is such a lovable guy.

I am no longer allowed to haze new recruits by telling them they have to qualify on the Short Tom before they can fire the Long Tom.
Nor am I allowed to send them looking for "Short Tom Artillery" because we are "out" of the Long Tom variety...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 24 May 2012, 08:39:10
...sounds like sombody's been having exactly the right amount of fun with his artillery... O0

Apparently adding loose glitter to the artillery ammo is "frowned upon" even though it makes things more festive.

LIES!

(http://img.ponibooru.org/_images/7d808e2fdb89456335f906de98ae63a7/93190%20-%20artist%3Asouthparktaoist%20party_cannon%20pinkie_pie.png)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 24 May 2012, 10:31:07
Actually, if you load your shells with thermate, you can get the same sparkling effect with more festive fire.

I cannot exploit the fact that there are few things in the world that can stop an AP round dead.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 24 May 2012, 10:32:26
Not even the elderly?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 25 May 2012, 00:30:08
ESPECIALLY the elderly.

I must tone down the fan service even more now with my comic work.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 25 May 2012, 11:39:03
No more plans involving bees.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 26 May 2012, 22:37:40
I cannot hang my enemies by their toes to slowly dry in the sun.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 28 May 2012, 12:07:08
Will not use port-a-pottys as a form of chemical warfare no matter how cheap it is.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 28 May 2012, 12:23:41
No more sneaking laxatives into the food packs of elementals that are about to go on extended field operations. or, at least, do not get caught putting laxatives into the food packs.

Also, be careful about keeping track of the food packs you lace with laxatives so you do not get caught up in your own practical joke.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 28 May 2012, 13:10:09
I can no longer add cell stains to the coffee. The joke is funny, the quarantine not so much.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 29 May 2012, 01:36:51
I cannot enter battle blasting "Come Sail Away" by Styx over my 'Mech's loudspeakers.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: fuzzychief on 29 May 2012, 03:11:23
On that note, I am not allowed to blast "War Horse Funk" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh5usbtyFck) over my mech's loudspeaker...

 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 30 May 2012, 02:19:28
I cannot be influenced by Johnny Cash when planning military operations.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 30 May 2012, 02:28:40
I cannot be influenced by Johnny Cash when planning military operations.

Not even if you are running some mech with LOTS of SRMs, with a load of infernos, and are making sure you are setting fire to hexes
in a circle around you?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 01 June 2012, 01:41:52
I cannot recruit regiments of children to serve as mine detectors.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 01 June 2012, 02:12:14
I thought the Dracs, Capellans, and most Clans - as well as many of the Bandit Kingdoms did this as SOP.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 01 June 2012, 13:17:23
Only for certain values of the word recruit.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 04 June 2012, 10:01:06
I cannot improve diplomatic relations by mailing severed limbs to the embassy.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 05 June 2012, 17:59:21
I cannnot replace ejection seats with spring "snakes."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 07 June 2012, 01:31:57
Any assassination plot that starts with "Acquire ten gallons of soap" needs to be rewritten.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: DoctorMonkey on 07 June 2012, 01:37:25
Any assassination plot that starts with "Acquire ten gallons of soap" needs to be rewritten.

Perfectly reasonable way to start making napalm

In fact, if you worked in the place you are planning on blowing up with some judicious ordering of products "in bulk to save money" you could get the venue to get all of the goodies

Logisitcs: because without 'em, a gun is just an expensive club
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 07 June 2012, 10:10:28
Perfectly reasonable way to start making napalm

Actually, the plot involved no explosives or incendiaries whatsoever. The second step was "Steal a breeding pair of hyenas from the zoo."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 07 June 2012, 14:21:26
I like this plan already. >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wartang on 07 June 2012, 22:44:48
I can no longer make "I also used to be a freelance Mechwarrior until I took an Arrow IV to the Lower Leg Actuator." jokes

also... does step 3 involve meat? or any -inators?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 08 June 2012, 09:01:00
You'll just need to play through the campaign to find out. O0

I cannot "Sing you the song of my people" with the assistance of a school bus filled with kidnapped children.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 08 June 2012, 13:29:50
I cannot invite dignitaries over for "happy funtime maiming."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 08 June 2012, 15:30:29
I cannot train the recruits to have an instinctive fear of grapefruit, pogo sticks, or recycling bins.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 12 June 2012, 10:23:30
I cannot have another chase scene where the players must ride donkeys through an open-air market to escape a bulldozer.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 12 June 2012, 10:34:15
I cannot have another chase scene where the players must ride donkeys through an open-air market to escape a bulldozer.

How about a bulldozer through an open air market to escape bad-guys on cyber donkeys with big guns?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 13 June 2012, 00:07:39
Not as much fun.

I cannot whittle down a unit until it is commanded by six leftenants with only the vaguest idea of what they're supposed to do.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 13 June 2012, 00:29:58
I cannot invite ambassadors to Canopian pleasure circuses for "An evening that will surely lead to at least two international incidents and blackmail materials on a senior officer."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 14 June 2012, 19:15:05
I cannot "distill chlamydia." Nor may I load said concentration of chlamydia into artillery shells.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: vidar on 14 June 2012, 22:09:57
I am not allowed to use 1 ton drone VTL as kamikaze units, also am not allow to use the company dropship and WIG drone.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 14 June 2012, 22:39:29
I cannot liven up the qualification range with kidnapped children from the local refugee camp.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 16 June 2012, 15:29:11
The solution to all training exercises is not "more Dakka".


(Spell check feels that I should have used excesses instead of exercises.)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 17 June 2012, 19:34:03
I cannot lash corpses together to make a raft in order to cross the castle's moat.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 18 June 2012, 01:09:05
I'm not allowed to stock planets with imported peasants for hunting.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 18 June 2012, 02:58:27
I'm not allowed to stock planets with imported peasants for hunting.

Aw man! They keep taking away all the FUN STUFF!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 19 June 2012, 21:27:58
I cannot hack the children of the city's crime lords into pieces just to make a point to someone else in a debate regarding philosophy.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: DoctorMonkey on 20 June 2012, 01:46:24
I cannot hack the children of the city's crime lords into pieces just to make a point to someone else in a debate regarding philosophy.

Technically, it is more effective to photshop photos of the same and then hack into their social media accounts and upload them as the loss of status they will suffer will be more harmful and other folks will do the messy bits as the crime lords are toppled and the internal criminal strife will likely reduce crime impact on "normal" folk as enforcers etc turn inwards...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 20 June 2012, 02:58:04
I can no longer execute surrendered enemies during interrogation because "the conversation was boring".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 20 June 2012, 04:55:21
I can no longer execute surrendered enemies during interrogation because "the conversation was boring".

However, you CAN have your Capellan Accupuncturist execute them and dispose of the body because "the conversation
is done"
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 21 June 2012, 10:42:21
If a player is gone for a few sessions, and comes back, the npc's that knew his/her character will not be obsessed with "sending the dead back to death".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 21 June 2012, 22:22:43
I cannot bring disciplinary executions into the planning sessions.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 21 June 2012, 23:33:30
I cannot bring disciplinary executions into the planning sessions.

How about in the motivational training seminars?  Is that fair game?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 21 June 2012, 23:57:02
I cannot muffle the sound of my weapons by strapping POWs to them. Similarly, I cannot use them as pads to soften the passing of my tanks through a minefield to avoid detonation.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: DoctorMonkey on 22 June 2012, 02:35:03
I cannot muffle the sound of my weapons by strapping POWs to them. Similarly, I cannot use them as pads to soften the passing of my tanks through a minefield to avoid detonation.

In Soviet Russia they agree with this: these are roles for Political Prisoners, not POWs
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 23 June 2012, 23:01:37
I cannot provide a distraction for the team's heist by running naked down Main Street doused in pig's blood and waving the arms of severed hookers.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 24 June 2012, 01:28:54
I cannot use a shrink ray on people then stuff them into the pressure cooker or the garbage disposal as a means of execution.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ShadowSeraph on 24 June 2012, 17:32:46
My Bard should not commonly go Spetnaz commando on helpless Gnolls in an over-sized wheat field, mostly because is dis concerting to the other party members, and that daggers really don't do the trick properly.  Bullwhips used at a garrote on the otherhand...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 24 June 2012, 20:34:36
I cannot start a war between nations because I liked neither of their flags.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 25 June 2012, 10:04:30
I cannot start a war between nations because I liked neither of their flags.
Sure you can, its not even hard. Record your self burning each flag, cg-replace your self with the leader of each opposing nation.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 25 June 2012, 19:25:17
I cannot send nuke-carrying Rastafarians against the PCs again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 25 June 2012, 23:11:28
I cannot send nuke-carrying Rastafarians against the PCs again.


Hmmm.  You mean it didn't work the first time?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 26 June 2012, 09:53:21
They were meant to convert the PCs into free-floating atoms, not into more Rastafarians.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 26 June 2012, 10:03:50
I cannot continue to throw battalions of child soldiers at the PCs. Not when the battalions are arguably better equipped than they are.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 29 June 2012, 00:14:26
I can not institute "Pantsless Thursdays" in a maximum security prison to improve morale. It does in fact have the exact opposite effect.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 29 June 2012, 03:14:52
I cannot mark my territory by carving runes into the heads of my victims.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 30 June 2012, 10:21:26
I cannot mark my territory by craving runes into the heads of my victims.

Perhaps you mean "carving"?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 30 June 2012, 12:29:47
I don't know what you speak of. [blank] ;D

I cannot engage is Orwellian gaslighting.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Moonsword on 05 July 2012, 18:37:52
Not allowed to list "surplus" Fire Moths on Blakeslist, even if it is the only light in a binary of medium 'Mechs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 05 July 2012, 21:19:10
Similarly, I cannot sell my commander and his staff to buy replacement parts for my 'Mech.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 05 July 2012, 23:15:20
Similarly, I cannot sell my commander and his staff to buy replacement parts for my 'Mech.

Think of the boost to the morale of the unit!  That one might actually be worth pursuing.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 07 July 2012, 00:38:23
I cannot follow through with threats to [Redacted for reasons of taste].
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Deathrider6 on 07 July 2012, 03:07:45
Keep it within the boundaries of good taste folks this is PG-13 forum that last post was over the top.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 07 July 2012, 09:57:18
I cannot forget that this is a PG-13 forum... :-[
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 07 July 2012, 12:08:38
I cannot forget that this is a PG-13 forum... :-[
IMHO that last one wasn't much worse than some other things that have come through these threads. I've always considered this thread a place to dump horrors GMs/storytellers need to make villeins truly villainous.

That said...

When someone's stuck in a rut... lobbing explosives in the rut hoping said person will be ejected in the shockwave is not the best way to go about it.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Moonsword on 07 July 2012, 13:22:36
That doesn't mean that the forum's standards for objectionable content have been lifted.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 07 July 2012, 17:01:44
I cannot act the coward and demand that women and children be let off first in order to conserve weight in a sinking zeppelin.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 08 July 2012, 05:24:45
I thought it was always "women and children first."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 08 July 2012, 13:10:13
I thought it was always "women and children first."

Exactly. The zeppelin's still in the air.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 08 July 2012, 15:01:28
Right.  But now suddenly, they want equality instead of privilege?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 08 July 2012, 16:09:21
I can't declare my ISP as a Blakist faction in the hopes it'll be torn to the ground and replaced by a competent one.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 08 July 2012, 20:35:22
I will not start raves in the middle of all meltran fleets. It gives quartermasters heart attacks.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 11 July 2012, 10:01:06
"Culture shock" is not the appropriate term for the psywar tactic I've developed involving the dropping of deep-fried bacon cheeseburgers and lard shakes on the starved enemy population.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 11 July 2012, 10:38:33
"Culture shock" is not the appropriate term for the psywar tactic I've developed involving the dropping of deep-fried bacon cheeseburgers and lard shakes on the starved enemy population.

Isn't that just making them adopt the American Diet?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 11 July 2012, 22:26:32
Not when it's being done from roughly Angels Eight.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 11 July 2012, 22:50:36
Falchion, you're the bomb...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 13 July 2012, 00:05:26
"Sending someone out with a bang" does not include loading the hearse with sticks of dynamite and rolling it down towards the gas refinery.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: vidar on 13 July 2012, 02:01:38
No you need a small nuke and some strapping Lads to carry it up the steps to "rest" in state, your enemies capitol would be fitting >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 13 July 2012, 13:05:54
I must not emit bolts of PPC energy from my guitar everytime I play a solo.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 13 July 2012, 13:16:29
I must not emit bolts of PPC energy from my guitar everytime I play a solo.

Because you might bring down the house?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 13 July 2012, 13:30:23
Because I might create destructive energized beauty by simply rocking  >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 13 July 2012, 18:50:31
I cannot work actual mechanisms of action into my designs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 14 July 2012, 08:25:02
I can not replace the blood the party wizard intends to use for a summoning circle with red koolaid, or the blood of a Falchion, or RIT-DYE
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 14 July 2012, 09:49:46
An accidental mistranslation is acceptable. A purposeful distortion of the spoken word in translation to get the rest of the team killed by the natives is not.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 14 July 2012, 15:38:28
Will not use Comstar representatives to settle issues between towns folk and my clan.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 14 July 2012, 19:16:40
I'm not allowed to stick tracking collars on Vlad Ward or Phelan Kell in order to monitor their movements.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 16 July 2012, 02:00:38
It is not my birthday, and I cannot eat my enemies.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 16 July 2012, 11:57:10
"Sending someone out with a bang" does not include loading the hearse with sticks of dynamite and rolling it down towards the gas refinery.

Does it involve exploding prostitutes?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 17 July 2012, 00:37:17
Well, one of the previous ones did, but I figured I wouldn't mention it owing to toeing the line as it is with that previous real Do Not.

I cannot argue that purchasing real firearms accessories for props should be covered under production costs. Even if it's true.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 17 July 2012, 02:34:49
Cannot use Sazabi as a stand in for my atlas.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 17 July 2012, 02:50:46
I cannot make IEDs with cymbals.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 17 July 2012, 16:27:23
Cannot use Hy-Goggs for repairing public pools
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 18 July 2012, 10:46:08
I cannot stop up an enemy advance by using school buses loaded with children and explosives.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 18 July 2012, 10:47:49
The trick is school buses with explosive nuns. And no brakes.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 18 July 2012, 10:54:34
I cannot stop up an enemy advance by using school buses loaded with children and explosives.

Nor shall I have an enemy covered in what looks like human infants....(not really infants, mind you...they are actually
part of the particular demon....but, you know, the PCs don't know that...)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Vash The Stampede on 18 July 2012, 14:51:03
Cannot rationalize the idea of using said bus full of children and explosives by claiming the were children of the grave.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 18 July 2012, 16:15:41
I'm no longer allowed to use the eggbeater or the salad shooter during interrogations.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 18 July 2012, 22:06:10
Even if it is my birthday, I cannot devour the bodies of my slain enemies.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 19 July 2012, 09:52:39
It is not my birthday, and I cannot eat my enemies.
Even if I is my birthday, I cannot devour the bodies of my slain enemies.

I see the very small difference there... ^-^
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 19 July 2012, 11:24:48
The appropriate response to an olive branch is not to snap-kick the giver.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 21 July 2012, 16:08:54
The appropriate response to an olive branch is not to snap-kick the giver.

I agree.  A kick to the crotch is more appropriate.  And Herb approved.   O0
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 21 July 2012, 20:10:57
Just because the specifications call for a 9mm cartridge does not mean I should immediately go to the .375 H&H.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 23 July 2012, 12:30:58
My contract does not include decapitation of my manager as a "severance package."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: SethsMatches on 23 July 2012, 12:32:43
Just because I can put Power Armour on The Dragon doesn't mean I should.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 23 July 2012, 22:32:18
My contract does not include decapitation of my manager as a "severance package."

You mean I've been doing it wrong all this time???!?!!!!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 24 July 2012, 00:33:33
My contract does not include decapitation of my manager as a "severance package."

What about cutting his car in half with a Forestrymech?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 25 July 2012, 09:11:13
I cannot front a mech production company as a miniature's production company for Zentradi gamers. The live weapons and excessive orders of myomer are a giveaway.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Ghostbear_Gurdel on 25 July 2012, 11:04:37
They are just "perfect" 1:1 scale replicas  ;)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 25 July 2012, 20:22:40
I cannot suggest that the commander be reassigned to lead a penal battalion if asked by the review board.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ErikModi on 02 August 2012, 16:13:02
I am no longer allowed to provide an in-game soundtrack by having my MechWarrior plug his iPod into his 'Mech's external speakers.

Similarly, I am no longer allowed to define ten tons of Communications Equipment as "The Inner Sphere's Largest Subwoofer."  Or "Speakers so loud they blow Elemental's BattleArmor off."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 02 August 2012, 21:33:17
I am no longer allowed to provide an in-game soundtrack by having my MechWarrior plug his iPod into his 'Mech's external speakers.

Similarly, I am no longer allowed to define ten tons of Communications Equipment as "The Inner Sphere's Largest Subwoofer."  Or "Speakers so loud they blow Elemental's BattleArmor off."

We called them "The Heavy Metal Cavalry" in my group....a 'Mech company all equipped that way...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ErikModi on 02 August 2012, 21:52:07
I was going more with Ride of the Valkyries initially, with a wider selection of various music stylings for a variety of situations.  For instance, when a 'Mech was targeted and every attack missed, it'd pop up Third Eye Blind's "Semi-Charmed Life."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 03 August 2012, 02:18:20
I'm not allowed to point behind someone and shout "Look, a distraction!" before punching them in the face/stabbing them/shooting them/setting them on fire/running away.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 03 August 2012, 03:57:20
I'm not allowed to point behind someone and shout "Look, a distraction!" before punching them in the face/stabbing them/shooting them/setting them on fire/running away.

And going "is that some sort of demonic duck?!" just annoys the demonic-looking duck....
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 04 August 2012, 13:28:34
I cannot suggest that someone "Lick the willy pete off the armor."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 05 August 2012, 12:14:39
I can not convince senior officers to adjust the battle plan with logically sound arguements. "All the enemy soldiers were babies at one point. The hospital contains babies. Therefore we should blow up the hospital to deny the enemy future soldiers!"
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 05 August 2012, 15:28:11
I am not allowed to use a recording of a badly played set of bagpipes as a PsyOps weapon.   Dammit.  >:(
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 05 August 2012, 18:19:06
"Accolades" are not lit sticks of dynamite. Nor may I shower anyone with accolades.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 05 August 2012, 18:54:32
I'm not allowed to fold origami at staff meetings.

Somebody complained that the geometries are doing unpleasant things to the boundaries of reality.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 06 August 2012, 21:34:54
I am no longer allowed to use a tank of piranna as an interogation tool.  Nuts.  [metalhealth]
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 06 August 2012, 22:54:19
I am no longer allowed to splice wiring into nerve endings for the purpose of persuasion.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 06 August 2012, 23:14:12
I am no longer allowed to put the 'fiber' with the 'optics' in pursuasive discussions.  Foiled again. [tickedoff]
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 07 August 2012, 12:41:37
I cannot use plague catapults again. Again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 07 August 2012, 21:49:44
Hmm.  Must not have worked the first time.  Or did it work *too* well?

Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 07 August 2012, 23:10:12
Both ways, actually.

I cannot smoke out an entrenched position with the help of a few hundred pounds of pool cleaner and a few fans.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 09 August 2012, 01:21:00
I am not to refer to hazardous chemical cleanup as "purging the unclean."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 09 August 2012, 10:43:45
I'm not allowed to use aerosol laxatives on enemy infantry positions.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 09 August 2012, 10:47:55
I'm not allowed to use aerosol laxatives on enemy infantry positions.
But friendly officers quarters are just fine.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 09 August 2012, 23:14:19
I cannot make incendiary blood bombs to delay the enemy forces.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 12 August 2012, 18:58:38
I cannot replace the ink in dye packs with cell stains in order to ensure I shoplifters are obvious.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 13 August 2012, 22:13:42
I cannot conspire to cover my rival in mold spores and honey as he sleeps.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 13 August 2012, 22:20:24
But a dusting of itching powder is perfectly acceptable...  }:)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 14 August 2012, 00:06:21
I can't attempt to start the grill with an FS9 again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 15 August 2012, 02:57:39
I cannot imitate Patrick Stewart. Especially when I have live ammo.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 15 August 2012, 10:19:41
I cannot imitate Patrick Stewart. Especially when I have live ammo.


Not sure I get this one.  I'd appeal the ruling.   [legal] 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 15 August 2012, 14:01:27
Firing directly into the air is bad. Doing it with artillery is a good way to get court marshalled.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 15 August 2012, 16:36:21
I cannot reproduce the cast of CSI as targets for the PCs to hunt down.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Grim_Reaper on 15 August 2012, 22:22:43
I cannot reproduce the cast of CSI as targets for the PCs to hunt down.
what about the cast of Twilight then?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 15 August 2012, 23:23:49
Sentences are not to be carried out immediately by someone who is not an officer of the law, no matter which planet I'm on.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 15 August 2012, 23:40:15
I am not to refer to sergeants doing inspections as "the fashion police on patrol."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 17 August 2012, 22:30:57
I cannot breed incendiary centaurs in an effort to eliminate my competition.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Sartris on 17 August 2012, 23:28:25
I will not use this thread to make a vacuous post in order to raise my total number to an arbitrary level so I can be promoted to the next in a series of equally meaningless ranks
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 18 August 2012, 00:47:22
Damn straight!  That's my prerogative.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 18 August 2012, 02:29:14
I thought that was the sole reason for the existence of the Hall.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 18 August 2012, 13:11:33
I cannot combine wild animals and high explosives as a form of body disposal that is both "effective and entertaining."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: HikageMaru on 19 August 2012, 21:10:26
I will not try to create a "red light district" with concentrated laser fire.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wartang on 20 August 2012, 10:02:44
I will not do the "I'm sexy and I know it" dance  in my Atlas, nor am I allowed to "Tea bag" "Lay an egg"  or "Lift a leg" in any mech capable of any such motions.

I am not allow to come up with lyrics for "I'm Davion and I know it"  (or any other variations) nor play them over the loud speakers in battle( or near my wife) >:D.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 21 August 2012, 18:18:47
While Protomechs are deployed in points of five, and Quad Protomech designs are appearing on battlefields, "Zergling rush" is still not an appropriate sit rep.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 22 August 2012, 01:27:24
I cannot insinuate things about ambassadors involving a certain bar where there are donkeys.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Grim_Reaper on 22 August 2012, 22:14:58
no longer allowed to point out how disney movies like Toy Story and Monsters Inc are sexually perverted
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 23 August 2012, 01:07:24
I cannot have the enemy faction flay captured snipers alive.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 23 August 2012, 01:25:55
I cannot have the enemy faction flay captured snipers alive.

Wait...they were that nice?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 23 August 2012, 02:12:54
Wait...they were that nice?

Well, there was urination involved as well... :P
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 23 August 2012, 02:55:07
Well, there was urination involved as well... :P

You should probably research the sort of stuff the Vietnamese did to captured snipers....you are still sounding
like you were going easy on them...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Deathrider6 on 23 August 2012, 04:27:11
I will remind you thet rule 4 applies even here folks.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 23 August 2012, 05:43:55
I will remind you thet rule 4 applies even here folks.

*scratches head confusedly* Wasn't talking politics or religion..I was giving the worst historical treatment of sniper POWs
that I was aware of. Admittedly, historically, snipers are not treated well as POWs.

And I still think Falchion was going easy on the captured snipers....I respect snipers immensely, but if you are going to go
bad, go all the way...not just part way.(It also helps to remind  whoever was running the snipers exactly WHY many
sniper teams save one round in their side arm...so they won't be captured.)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Sartris on 23 August 2012, 09:08:35
I will not steal a Condor dropship from a cut off Star League colony that they use as their house of worship. Much.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 23 August 2012, 10:29:50
I cannot tailor biological agents to affect the PCs' loved ones while leaving the PCs unaffected.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Sartris on 23 August 2012, 10:43:28
I will not steal genetic samples of my enemy and his wife's sister, then create a clone that makes it look like they had a secret torrid affair and subsequent love child. Nor will I create a 90 minute documentary on the topic and release it to the press.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wartang on 23 August 2012, 11:36:43
Wow our commander is a real stick in the mud   ;D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Sartris on 23 August 2012, 12:38:59
I will not befriend another regional leader for the express purpose of personally assassinating him and his girlfriend, who has a substantial price on her head.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 23 August 2012, 12:45:31
I am not allowed to put the Giant Foot of Stomping on the random encounter table.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Deathrider6 on 23 August 2012, 13:21:49
*scratches head confusedly* Wasn't talking politics or religion..I was giving the worst historical treatment of sniper POWs
that I was aware of. Admittedly, historically, snipers are not treated well as POWs.

And I still think Falchion was going easy on the captured snipers....I respect snipers immensely, but if you are going to go
bad, go all the way...not just part way.(It also helps to remind  whoever was running the snipers exactly WHY many
sniper teams save one round in their side arm...so they won't be captured.)

Understood better to err on the side of caution in my opinion (I agree on the particular subject but my personal opinions aside POW treatment can be a slippery slope to the aforementioned rule I am just watching out for the Denizens of the Hall).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 23 August 2012, 15:35:15
I cannot market the "Short Tom" cannon, the "Arrow V" missile system, or "PIGEON" missile beacons in an attempt to avoid royalty payments.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 23 August 2012, 19:15:40
I cannot tailor biological agents to affect the PCs' loved ones while leaving the PCs unaffected.


 O0 O0 O0

This is made up of 100% awesome!!! 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Sartris on 23 August 2012, 19:19:17
I will not buy product from a rival, kidnap key scientists from the project, build my own factory, then destroy my opposite's with a dirty bomb.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Sartris on 24 August 2012, 13:26:29
I am no longer permitted to plant evidence to give the impression that my enemy's chief political ally, who is in a coma, is being held in that state artificially by his conniving powermad wife.  Furthermore, I have been forbidden from passing him with a deadly poison made out to be what he believes is an antidote in order to make it appear as though he is trying to murder his friend.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 24 August 2012, 13:42:43
I am no longer allowed to play Flock of Seagulls or Celene Dion over the prison PA system.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Sartris on 24 August 2012, 13:48:55
I will not use the code for the automated program that reads the weather reports to create an anonymous persona that leads an ultra-nationalist group established to wage a proxy campaign against my enemies.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wartang on 24 August 2012, 16:15:37
Zombie creation is not legitimate research. Flood, T-cell, and any other areas that my supervisor might construe as "zombie" is not allowed either.

...and I'm not allowed to die... again...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 24 August 2012, 17:26:36
Death is not "a mere inconvenience" for the PCs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 24 August 2012, 17:40:20
Death is not "a mere inconvenience" for the PCs.
Depends on the game.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 24 August 2012, 18:59:39
Death is not "a mere inconvenience" for the PCs.

That depends.

Are they completely dead or only mostly dead?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 24 August 2012, 21:06:32
That depends.

Are they completely dead or only mostly dead?

Depends on your definition of "completely dead."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 25 August 2012, 01:56:42
I am no longer allowed to play Flock of Seagulls or Celene Dion over the prison PA system.

Is Kenny G still permitted?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 25 August 2012, 03:16:35
Is Kenny G still permitted?

Yes, however Minmei, Barney, and Bananas in Pajamas will still get you shot(by your CO!) on "War crimes"
charges...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 25 August 2012, 09:31:40
Yes, however Minmei, Barney, and Bananas in Pajamas will still get you shot(by your CO!) on "War crimes"
charges...
What about Barney covers of Minmei and Bananas in Pajamas
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 25 August 2012, 10:33:10
What about Barney covers of Minmei and Bananas in Pajamas

They get given to Falchion....
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 25 August 2012, 10:45:23
I cannot refer to the design of the Confessors as "Helgan Death Popes" no matter how they actually look.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Sartris on 27 August 2012, 16:03:37
My GM has informed me that I no longer will be able to do the following:

1) Build crude WMDs using other PCs' waste materials on their own planets
2) Detonate said WMDs while another PC attacks the planet where the WMDs are located
3) Orchestrate a complicated international conspiracy involving an actual paper trail to place blame on a key ally of another PC
4) Maneuver myself into the position to be appointed by the chairman of our security collective as the chief investigator tasked with tracking down those responsible
5) Turn the game into a Hercule Poirot-style 'who dun it?' mystery
6) Speak in a horrible French accent during said activity
7) Lead the other PCs on a wild goose chase that lasts nearly 50 hours, only to place blame on no one due to a lack of solid evidence. 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 29 August 2012, 13:11:42
The first solution to a siege I propose cannot be "Use the bodies of their dead to poison their water supply."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 29 August 2012, 14:31:10
What about "take cover behind the pile of dead bards?"
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wartang on 29 August 2012, 21:43:19
What about "take cover behind the pile of dead bards?"
O0 like


I cannot poll my unit to get odds on who will die first...

I cannot tell the new recruits that they can only complete their training by successfully navigating the minefield while blindfolded...

I am also not allowed to start games such as "pin the tail on the mine"...

Blackout conditions are not an excuse to cover all my commanders mech lights with black paint...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 29 August 2012, 23:05:47
There is no hellephant. It is not bulletproof. It does not breathe flaming neurotoxin acids.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 29 August 2012, 23:21:12
I can not torture confessions from captured prisoners by forcing them to watch 24 hour news coverage of the Lyran Estates General.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 30 August 2012, 00:36:38
There is no hellephant. It is not bulletproof. It does not breathe flaming neurotoxin acids.

I cannot design the Hellephant as a quad 'mech with hardened armour, reinforced internal structure, and fluid gun...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 30 August 2012, 03:49:12
I can not torture confessions from captured prisoners by forcing them to watch 24 hour news coverage of the Lyran Estates General.
Depends on whether or not they break into spontaneous fist fights like some rl legislative bodies.  But then, that would be more of a FWL Parliament kinda thing.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 30 August 2012, 18:36:22
"Sophisticated sapping measures" does not mean "Use trebuchets to launch bundles of artillery shells over the wall."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 30 August 2012, 19:04:40
"Dump stat" does not refer to the location where I hide the bodies, therefore I should not try to raise it during character generation.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 30 August 2012, 20:08:46
I can't have my wizard build an enchanted crossbow that fires rocket propelled heat-seeking chainsaws.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wartang on 30 August 2012, 20:16:16
NO GNOMISH ANYTHING!!!  oh poo.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 31 August 2012, 17:57:02
I cannot produce fruit-flavored chews for methamphetamines, cocaine, Ecstasy, or any other drugs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Sartris on 02 September 2012, 20:04:35
I will not kidnap children from foreign countries, hire the best teachers and instructors in the region, then establish a secret school that combines Ender's Game with The Hunger Games in order to create a race of evil villains.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 02 September 2012, 23:16:13
I cannot breed a swarm of viscious chihuahas and mount electric knifes to their backs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 02 September 2012, 23:38:32
I can give the devil his due, but I can't fine him for his overdue library books or there'll be Hell to pay.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 03 September 2012, 23:15:35
Angering an NPC is not "gulag for sure."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 16 September 2012, 01:21:40
I cannot use the heavy-lift VTOL to drop the First Prince's yacht on the villa of the visiting diplomat.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 16 September 2012, 20:30:00
I cannot mount sub-capital weapons in a bunker as an embassy's "guard post".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Terminax on 17 September 2012, 19:09:23
Hitting your employee in the head with a sledgehammer is apparently frowned upon in certain circles.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 23 September 2012, 21:19:03
My next "brilliant plan" cannot start with "So we kidnap the bank manager..."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Sartris on 01 October 2012, 19:14:15
I will not finish other PC's botched assassination attempts just to demonstrate how much better I am at it than them.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 02 October 2012, 00:26:51
I cannot create a ninja with the feat Exptic Weapon Proficiency- Waffle Iron.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 02 October 2012, 17:20:47
I cannot create a ninja with the feat Exotic Weapon Proficiency- Waffle Iron.

Doesn't EWP- Cast Iron Cookware cover that?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 03 October 2012, 16:32:46
Doesn't EWP- Cast Iron Cookware cover that?

Nope, because once you enchant it for electric damage in becomes a small appliance.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 08 October 2012, 23:27:48
I can not reclassify my failing merc unit as a non profit orgainization for a tax break.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 09 October 2012, 18:36:53
I can not reclassify my failing merc unit as a non profit orgainization for a tax break.
I cannot call loot possibilities "Accounts Receivable."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 10 October 2012, 15:16:00
I'm not allowed to buy stock in a company, then launch raids of their rivals in order to increase the value of my shares.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 10 October 2012, 20:13:41
I'm not allowed to buy stock in a company, then launch raids of their rivals in order to increase the value of my shares.

Um, why NOT???  That's what I'd do...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 10 October 2012, 20:59:01
I'm not allowed to buy stock in a company, then launch raids of their rivals in order to increase the value of my shares.

I can not buy stock in a company, then launch raid on them to decrase the value of shares, in an attempt to stage a hostile takeover.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 10 October 2012, 21:39:14
Um, why NOT???  That's what I'd do...

It's called "Stock Manipulation"...the ISSE looks down heavily on that...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 10 October 2012, 23:31:57
It's called "Stock Manipulation"...the ISSE looks down heavily on that...

Let them come and arrest me.  I'd have my ASFs shoot down their dropship while it's on re-entry.  Shoulda updated their IFF transmitters...   }:)

Besides, they were just legally contracted objective raids...   >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 10 October 2012, 23:59:58
I can not buy stock in a company, then launch raid on them to decrase the value of shares, in an attempt to stage a hostile takeover.

Of course not.  The correct action there is to launch raids on their facility, then arrange for a hostile takeover via a shell corporation.

I'm not allowed to set up a mercenary company just to use as a front for a money laundering operation.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 13 October 2012, 20:23:36
I cannot put on minstrel shows to entertain visiting dignitaries. Or shows banned in the Magistracy involving livestock.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 16 October 2012, 14:40:09
I can no longer avoid public speaking engagements by accusing the audience of being Skrulls.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 20 October 2012, 22:32:37
I cannot use flaming corpses as a part of a battering ram system.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 21 October 2012, 00:08:03
I can't use Canadian trap-door alligators to protect the base.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 21 October 2012, 17:05:59
I can not assassinate someone by disguising myself as a maid and slipping them a pillow with a vorpal enchantment.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 21 October 2012, 21:28:41
I can not assassinate someone by disguising myself as a maid and slipping them a pillow with a vorpal enchantment.

of course not! Vorpal requires the weapon to have an edge. Pillows are bludgeoning weapons, so must have the
Disruption enchantment, which, of course, is only useful against undead...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Hersh67 on 22 October 2012, 21:41:56
Why not just use a pillow laced with whatever the target is allergic to?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 26 October 2012, 18:56:08
I cannot use a marathon as a cover for an assassination attempt again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 27 December 2012, 12:23:04
I cannot use weaponized mutagens in order to reestablish the law during a planet-wide rebellion.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 27 December 2012, 21:18:24
I cannot get my players to follow a lead for love or money. As a result, I can't use my Christmas themed adventure in which the must retrieve the magic orb from the evil wizard "Jack of the North" and bring it to the noble paladin Nickoluas.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 28 December 2012, 22:24:33
I cannot get my players to follow a lead for love or money. As a result, I can't use my Christmas themed adventure in which the must retrieve the magic orb from the evil wizard "Jack of the North" and bring it to the noble paladin Nickoluas.
Should be a Cleric.

St. Nick was a bishop.   8)

While from a narrative point of view it might short circuit the whole adventure, killing the Grand Vizier is not always a smart thing to do.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 29 December 2012, 00:28:54
I'm no longer allowed to base RPG campaigns off Mastodon albums.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 29 December 2012, 00:54:21
I cannot keep a flavorful and beloved character safe from the PCs by divine intervention via dire bear attack more than three times in one session.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 29 December 2012, 02:20:04
I cannot keep a flavorful and beloved character safe from the PCs by divine intervention via dire bear attack more than three times in one session.

If the PCs are attacking the NPC, then they are not beloved, and deserve whatever fate befalls them...
Or, are you afraid said character will TPK the PC's?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 29 December 2012, 02:29:33
If the PCs are attacking the NPC, then they are not beloved, and deserve whatever fate befalls them...
Or, are you afraid said character will TPK the PC's?

Actually, the character in question is another PC. And the death certificate will list "death by dumbass companions trying to pick a fight with a lich". The dire bear is just a distraction, and a none to subtle hint that they are outclassed.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 29 December 2012, 04:16:24
Actually, the character in question is another PC. And the death certificate will list "death by dumbass companions trying to pick a fight with a lich". The dire bear is just a distraction, and a none to subtle hint that they are outclassed.

Seriously? So....have you tried the Head of Vecna with this group yet? (I have had players fall for that...
BTW..)

I am no longer allowed to test a group of player's intelligence by either having them have to deal with a Gazebo,
or by tempting them with the Head of Vecna...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 30 December 2012, 11:34:02
I cannot leave a box of Timbiqui Dark around, especially when it's a mislabeled box of grenade, white phosphorus, bursting.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 08 January 2013, 15:25:00
I cannot base a Magistracy ambassador on Eddie Cantor. Come to think of it, I'm no longer allowed to use Cantor as a basis for any characters now.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 09 January 2013, 20:14:59
The Manei Domini are resting their eyes, not sleeping.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 09 January 2013, 20:16:48
I am not allowed to combine the rules for Genecaste modifications, Manie Domini implants, and the Tarrasque.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 04 March 2013, 10:52:11
House paint works great when you need to taint someone's Pepto supply.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 16 March 2013, 20:29:08
"Nuke it from orbit" is an effective solution for many of lifes problems. A clogged toilet is not one of them.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 16 March 2013, 21:05:11
If you believe that, you ain't seen some of the bathrooms I have.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 17 March 2013, 12:42:10
If you believe that, you ain't seen some of the bathrooms I have.
Just use napalm. It doesn't have the radiation issues.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 03 April 2013, 01:59:51
As it turns out, FedSuns officers and harpoons do not mix well.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 03 April 2013, 02:49:58
As it turns out, FedSuns officers and harpoons do not mix well.

Yeah...that works better with Lyrans.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 03 April 2013, 15:02:19
When I throw everything and the kitchen sink at the enemy, this typically does not mean I am allowed to make the kitchen sink rocket-assisted.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreekFire on 03 April 2013, 15:08:19
Quoting Duke Nukem at the Kuritan Liason officer is no longer allowed.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 04 April 2013, 11:08:50
Terms like "A can of worms" are sayings, not actual items like a "jar of scorpions" or "bottle of white phosphorus" and should still not be thrown at surrendering Marian officers.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 04 April 2013, 11:31:05
Directing artillery fire at an ally should not be considered, or termed, "friendly fire" if it was not an accident. Just sayin'
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreekFire on 04 April 2013, 11:32:13
Yelling "I have the power!!" during a Trial of Position is frowned upon.
Yelling "There can only be one!!" during a Trial of Position is frowned upon.
Yelling "Aye, the quickening empowers me!!" during a Trial of position is frowned upon.
Trying to look up more quotes from Highlander during a Trial of position is frowned upon.
Blasting E-Type's "Campione 2000" over Skype in protest is frowned upon, and will result in your fellow cadet trying to kill you.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 05 April 2013, 02:25:38
The similarities between the new service conduct regulations and my own service record are not coincidental. In light of this my legal concil suggests that a court martial is not the place to explain how the generals daughter got on the Dropship in the first place.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 06 April 2013, 06:40:59
"Vacation" does not mean "the Ares Conventions do not apply."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 06 April 2013, 16:01:53
I am no longer allowed to see how many times I can work the word "bong" into a situation report.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Dakkagor on 09 April 2013, 09:59:14
*If you want a large pulse laser for opening canned goods, you need to fill out the proper requisition forms.

*Even if you properly fill out the requisition forms, you are not allowed to turn a military grade laser into a glorified tin opener.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 11 June 2013, 01:41:58
I cannot claim that my CO was eaten by a vampire. Even if I dispose of his boots in the woodchipper as well.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 11 June 2013, 08:46:54
No order to repaint the armored battalion should ever result in my posession of a fluid gun's paint ammo pod and a lance-equipped battlemech at the same time.

(Inspired by actual events.)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 11 June 2013, 08:50:03
No order to repaint the armored battalion should ever result in my posession of a fluid gun's paint ammo pod and a lance-equipped battlemech at the same time.

(Inspired by actual events.)

Wait...What? By Actual Events, do you mean "This actually occured in my game" actual events, or "This actually happened...
as in, REAL LIFE happened" actual events?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: SethsMatches on 11 June 2013, 08:53:01
Wait...What? By Actual Events, do you mean "This actually occured in my game" actual events, or "This actually happened...
as in, REAL LIFE happened" actual events?

It says a lot about Weirdo's reputation that someone, myself included, actually considers this an important question...  :D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 11 June 2013, 08:56:08
As in this morning just after I got to work. You know those scenes on TV where a pressure container will get a small breach and spin around comically while venting itself at high speed? I now know that soda cans will actually do that, and can achieve some extremely impressive coverage in coating a large portion of a medium-sized room. Something tells me that there are safety issues involved in trying to replicate the effect for painting purposes. On the upside, I now have a legitimate reason to complain about being sticky, and no need to explain the soda bit to people. }:)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: rebs on 11 June 2013, 16:44:44
As in this morning just after I got to work. You know those scenes on TV where a pressure container will get a small breach and spin around comically while venting itself at high speed? I now know that soda cans will actually do that, and can achieve some extremely impressive coverage in coating a large portion of a medium-sized room. Something tells me that there are safety issues involved in trying to replicate the effect for painting purposes. On the upside, I now have a legitimate reason to complain about being sticky, and no need to explain the soda bit to people. }:)


So... you are saying "do not" with regards to simple rocketry gone awry and painting as a combo? 

I'm absolutely sure there must be exceptions to this. ;)  :))  O:-)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 12 June 2013, 13:31:33
I'm not allowed to let my lawn grow until a sports team in the playoffs is eliminated.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 12 June 2013, 13:32:44
I've done that before, but that was due to a lack of lawn mower, rather than any interest in sports.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: vidar on 12 June 2013, 20:58:33
I am not allowed to plant endangered plants in the most perfectly manicured lawns.  Really establishing populations in home owner association is seen as underhanded and evil. >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 12 June 2013, 23:36:49
I cannot respond to accusations of violating the Ares Conventions by throwing plague-bearing rats at my accuser.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 13 June 2013, 02:46:57
Return of one of my favorite threads.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 21 June 2013, 12:10:21
I'm not allowed to change the TO&E so that all our Packrats are listed as Rodents of Unusual Size.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 24 June 2013, 10:45:26
I cannot import BattleMechs as "Large recreational vehicles" even on Hunter's Paradise.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: HikageMaru on 24 June 2013, 11:35:55
Do not blow your own Mech up in a Trial of Position if you expect that kill to count towards making Star Commander.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 27 June 2013, 01:26:20
I'm not allowed to attempt to improve the local tourist traps again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 30 June 2013, 21:00:11
my human barbarian is not allowed to throw my halfling ranger/rogue as either an improvised weapon or to put the halfling into a more advantageous position.

throwing the fey empowered gladius because it seemingly returns to my side whenever i try to abandon it is also right out.

Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Beazle on 01 July 2013, 19:31:41
I am not allowed to tell anybody what I really think of them, their friends, family, or significant others while I'm still sober enough to speak coherent English.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 02 July 2013, 15:35:40
I am not allowed to sing "We all live on a broken submarine" to the tune of "Yellow Submarine" while cleaning on board a submarine.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 02 July 2013, 15:39:11
The truism about LSD and nuclear engenieering is not justification for additives to the rations. Even if I yell "SCIENCE" before I pour.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 02 July 2013, 17:40:35
i am not allowed to point out the reality of life to characters in someones story just because its true
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Kat on 02 July 2013, 19:33:38
I am no longer allowed to pilot DropShips (http://media.tumblr.com/fa4c16e9252365a612c99de3dcf6a5aa/tumblr_inline_mot5wsLFCq1qz4rgp.jpg). At all (http://media.tumblr.com/15e765fb82152d684fdfa4913cf33ace/tumblr_inline_mot5x9ouSP1qz4rgp.jpg).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Beazle on 02 July 2013, 20:13:48
I am no longer allowed to "assist" any space programs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_0w7Ooa7fY
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 06 July 2013, 14:58:58
I cannot assign players animal companions against their will. They quickly see through my attempts to set up a Pet Avengers vs. Super Pets battle.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wolflord on 06 July 2013, 16:09:42
I may no longer use Game of Thrones as inspiration for the interrogation of characters that didn't run away fast enough  [AAAH]
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 14 July 2013, 19:51:53
I am no longer allowed to build Aerodyne Small Craft with the fire power speed and armor to be used as fighter/gunships against naval units or ground targets
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 14 July 2013, 20:31:20
I am no longer allowed to build Aerodyne Small Craft with the fire power speed and armor to be used as fighter/gunships against naval units or ground targets

Right...that's CGL's job.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 19 July 2013, 22:21:55
I am no longer allowed to build Aerodyne Small Craft with the fire power speed and armor to be used as fighter/gunships against naval units or ground targets

Using them to hot drop vehicles is also right out
Title: Quite a long one for you all
Post by: Maskerade on 20 July 2013, 19:26:20
I am not allowed to use a recording of a badly played set of bagpipes as a PsyOps weapon.

I am not allowed to use a recording of a well played set of bagpipes as a PsyOps weapon.

That Firestarter is not the lance's prtable barbecue.

My plan must be more than the lyrics to battery (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=md3B3I7Nmvw)

Using the HPG to make prank calls is now forbidden.

Sending my opponents links to TV Tropes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HomePage) is forbidden by the Ares conventions.

I am no longer to refer to a mobile structure as an all-purpose battering ram.

Percussive maintenance is not a recognised medical technique.

Percussive maintenance is not a medical technique.

My IED cannot have its trigger word be "the", "sarge", or "your highness"

No strapping POWs to the bottom of the dropship because I don't want to take them with me.

No strapping POWs to anywhere else on the dropship, full stop.

Pilots are not to "buzz" the enemy encampment. With a dropship.

I am not allowed to look up my enemy's weakness on Sarna.net

There is no such thing as a warning shot with a nuclear device.

If orbital bombardment is banned, not allowed to throw large rocks out of a high-altitude dropship.

Narc beacons make for poor diplomatic gifts.

A 21-gun salute does not usually consist of live artillery.

There is no "ramming speed" setting on a dropship.

I will not announce my arrival in orbit with several hours of sustained orbital bombardment.

You do not "walk" a nuclear device onto target.

Not allowed to use that heavy mass driver to wipe out all life on the planet just because a pesant didn't address me with full honourifics

When asked for a character concept for an aerospace pilot, I may not simply say "the mad bomber who bombs at midnight".

Battlemechs can't mouse-hole (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mouse-holing).

I cannot try to get a mass driver through customs as an express parcel delivery service.

Just because the warship has the heat sinks to fire all of its energy weapons every turn, does not mean it should do so. This goes double when there is no enemy around.

I will not refer to the AC/20 as a master key.

Just because I have the free mass does not mean I can fit 500,000 tons of styrofoam into a WarShip.

My character may not be named "I Say" to make everyone else talk like Foghorn Leghorn. (Thank you, Yahtzee)

Painting "shoot me" on the back of the CO's mech is funny until he finds out. Actually shooting him is not. Getting a TAC and destroying the company command mech is worthy of court martial.

TAG makes a poor laser pointer. I will never again use TAG as a laser pointer when the artillery company is test-firing.

Next time I fire a warning shot, I will choose a weapon that is incapable of headcapping.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 20 July 2013, 21:35:18
I'm not allowed to name the dropship "Your Mother."
Title: Re: Quite a long one for you all
Post by: GreenDragon on 21 July 2013, 03:50:54
There is no "ramming speed" setting on a dropship.
Could you explain that to the FSN?  Davion WarShips apparently do.

And Weirdo has actually done at least one of those Nuke things.  (Which is one of the reasons we love him.)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 21 July 2013, 04:41:21
Weirdo is famous for missing with a nuke.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 21 July 2013, 05:35:37
Weirdo is famous for missing with a nuke.

Since it was orbital..no, he is not famous for missing with a nuke. He hit the planet...
he just rolled bad on the hit location ;)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 22 July 2013, 10:29:09
Weirdo is famous for missing with a nuke.
BY FIVE FLIPPING HEXES!!! [soapbox]

Since it was orbital..no, he is not famous for missing with a nuke. He hit the planet...
he just rolled bad on the hit location ;)

That was the orbital lasers that I was unable to hit any part of a good-sized battlefield with. It was back when artillery drifted by 1d6*MoF.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 15 August 2013, 17:55:31
I am no longer allowed to use the "My little Protomech" thread to create a Fenspace mech/battlearmor "Heavy Calvary" company
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 15 August 2013, 22:39:13
I am not allowed to build nets of carbon fiber fishing line to capture enemy Battle Suits.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 16 August 2013, 13:19:01
BY FIVE FLIPPING HEXES!!! [soapbox]
Eh, it's only 150m. Inside the baseball stadium standard.

Besides, close counts in nuclear weapons.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 16 August 2013, 19:27:41
I'm no longer allowed to use exploding sperm whales as traps.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 16 August 2013, 21:04:42
Besides, close counts in nuclear weapons.

That's what I keep telling people!

I'm no longer allowed to use exploding sperm whales as traps.

I may have to try this one...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 06 November 2013, 00:59:27
I cannot "turn on the music" to irradiate and cook the crowds with my ECM unit.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 06 November 2013, 01:13:51
I can't not kick a elemental, in between 2 buildings far distances and yell Field Goal!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 06 November 2013, 01:20:25
I'm not allowed to challenge customers at work to a Trial of Grievance.

Not even if their account information lists their home address as Wolcott St (not making this up).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 06 November 2013, 02:03:14
I'm not allowed to challenge customers at work to a Trial of Grievance.

Not even if their account information lists their home address as Wolcott St (not making this up).

I cannot ask a guest if his jaw still hurts. Not even if his name is Victor Ian Steiner and he has a military jacket
with a unit patch that says "revenants" on the shoulder. (No..I am not making this up. I have also had a
Romano Liao, a Galen Cox, and, my personal favourite, a Conal Ward come to my hotel.)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 06 November 2013, 16:20:56
I cannot apply upgrades to villians in mid fight to apply the "learnin stick" to PCs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Ghostbear_Gurdel on 06 November 2013, 16:39:57
I cannot apply upgrades to villians in mid fight to apply the "learnin stick" to PCs.
Correction:

I cannot let the PCs know that i did apply upgrades to villians in mid fight to apply the "learnin stick" to PCs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 06 November 2013, 17:20:46
My villain is not allowed to reveal that he's brought a mech to a battle armour fight by using the words "MAKE MY BATTLE ARMOUR GROOOOW!" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWbkxaTU1Z0)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 09 November 2013, 03:18:10
Geothermal power plants do not have a large reservoir of lava like a dam that I can breach to silence the Battlefield/Call of Duty players.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 27 November 2013, 18:37:03
i am not allowed to build a merc company that is technically company sized and will fit inside a leopard class dropship
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 28 November 2013, 01:02:35
I'm not allowed to form a Circle of Equals in the break room every time I get a customer who says they have a grievance.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 28 November 2013, 16:56:10
Universities do not look kindly upon Trials of Possession for rooms... apparently  >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 29 November 2013, 01:18:01
"It seemed like a good idea at the time" is not an acceptable excuse for burning down the Duke's summer home. Even when dealing with carnivorous wolfbats.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 29 November 2013, 02:51:19
I am no longer allowed to attempt to recruit my roommate's girlfriend to gaming.   
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 29 November 2013, 09:56:24
I am no longer allowed to attempt to recruit my roommate's girlfriend to gaming.   

Why they are great when tbey enjoy it and if they hate it they get the roommate out of the way for hosting game night
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 29 November 2013, 18:23:34
Why they are great when tbey enjoy it and if they hate it they get the roommate out of the way for hosting game night

He is my roommate because he is a gamer and a trusted friend.  She isn't a gamer and has joined a couple of games with us, but despises being called a gamer nerd by her brother, the truck driver.   LOL
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 01 December 2013, 11:44:36
He is my roommate because he is a gamer and a trusted friend.  She isn't a gamer and has joined a couple of games with us, but despises being called a gamer nerd by her brother, the truck driver.   LOL

So get him gaming too ;)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 01 December 2013, 20:36:32
"Release the Kraken" is not the first response to player's being irritating.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 01 December 2013, 21:18:26
Yeah, that tends to backfire badly.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 02 December 2013, 01:51:27
I will not refer to expendable NPCs as "red shirts". 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 02 December 2013, 14:27:24
I can not claim overloading an unshielded magnetron next to my DVR as an "Act of God" on my homeowners insurance. Providing video of the sparks and flames does not help my case.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 02 December 2013, 17:46:23
i am not allowed to build a merc company that is technically company sized and will fit inside a leopard class dropship

Which Leapord, the standard only holds 4 mechs and 2 asfs, the vehicle one only supports 12 vees, the CV only holds 6 fighters, and the PA only holds 4 squads of infantry, 2 small craft, and 2 asfs.

So all options only hold half a company, or maybe a company of halflings?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Beazle on 02 December 2013, 19:21:16
Which Leapord, the standard only holds 4 mechs and 2 asfs, the vehicle one only supports 12 vees, the CV only holds 6 fighters, and the PA only holds 4 squads of infantry, 2 small craft, and 2 asfs.

So all options only hold half a company, or maybe a company of halflings?

I am not allowed to demand artists make me a picture of a company of halflings in Battle Armor or face the Grisly Death of a Million Nags.

Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 02 December 2013, 20:03:41
I will not refer to expendable NPCs as "red shirts".

I will not refer to the other PCs as such either. That one wins you no friends.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 03 December 2013, 13:13:52
Which Leapord, the standard only holds 4 mechs and 2 asfs, the vehicle one only supports 12 vees, the CV only holds 6 fighters, and the PA only holds 4 squads of infantry, 2 small craft, and 2 asfs.

So all options only hold half a company, or maybe a company of halflings?

And according to the star league book 12 vees is technically a company.  Though I would probably make it 16 vee company by putting four vetolss in the upper bay along with 16 platoons of infantry (3 tons for each inf bay)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: IronHead on 03 December 2013, 18:53:48
I will not refer to the other PCs as such either. That one wins you no friends.

I just call them Ensign Ricky

(http://i138.photobucket.com/albums/q258/SirIronhead/EXPENDABILITY.jpg)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 04 December 2013, 00:38:22
When my boss asks if anyone wants to leave early, I'm not allowed to declare a Trial of Possession for the right.

When my boss refuses to allow me to declare a Trial of Possession, I'm not allowed to challenge him to a Trial of Refusal.

When my boss won't let me declare a Trial of Refusal, I'm not allowed to challenge him to a Trial of Grievance.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 04 December 2013, 17:18:13
When my boss asks if anyone wants to leave early, I'm not allowed to declare a Trial of Possession for the right.

When my boss refuses to allow me to declare a Trial of Possession, I'm not allowed to challenge him to a Trial of Refusal.

When my boss won't let me declare a Trial of Refusal, I'm not allowed to challenge him to a Trial of Grievance.

If the trial of grievance is refused, I am not allowed to declare a Trial of Position to take the place of the boss.

Nor am I allowed to take it up with the Khan or IlKhan.

I will stop calling the CEO and vice-president Khan and IlKhan.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 15 December 2013, 02:11:23
I am no longer allowed to make jokes about Davions and certain Real Life Nations.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 18 December 2013, 23:50:17
LRTs can not fire a "Full spread", nor do Heavy Laser count as "Disruptors".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 19 December 2013, 18:48:34
LRTs/SRTs do not have the special ammunition type "Photon"
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 28 December 2013, 10:42:12
Waking up duct taped to a tarp-covered bed in a dingy Canopian motel room should not elicit the response "Oh great, again?" from my PC.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 28 December 2013, 16:09:45
We are no longer allowed to see how many times we can insult the otomo before we finally kill him.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 28 December 2013, 21:50:20
We are no longer allowed to see how many times we can insult the otomo before we finally kill him.

That was an absolutely beautiful end to a Winter Court game!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 28 December 2013, 22:58:23
For Otomo-san

Exiting life as entered
Screaming, flailing and bloody
He received his three cuts.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 09 January 2014, 00:05:02
I cannot "make ends meet" by hiring my merc unit out as process servers, 'Mechs and all.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 09 January 2014, 01:26:05
Do not say "Fire at will", commander gets really up set when the guns are turned on him instead of the bad guys.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 20 January 2014, 00:30:07
A pike should not be relabeled as an ER Polearm.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 22 January 2014, 01:27:56
When I get a customer named Mr. Johnson, I'm not allowed to discuss "specials" on clean-up services, parcel delivery, or talent scouting.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 23 January 2014, 06:22:07
I will face punishment detail if I am caught using a C3 network to run Halo LAN parties.

I will not use the HPG to send shock images to the heads of the Great Houses. Again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 24 January 2014, 02:53:09
I will not use the HPG to rickroll the heads of the Great Houses again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 24 January 2014, 10:22:03
Not allowed to point the entire SLN at someone just because I think they're being munchy.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Molossian Dog IIC on 24 January 2014, 20:48:01
I´m no longer allowed to refer to using the bathroom as "flushing coolant."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 25 January 2014, 03:48:12
Not allowed to point the entire SLN at someone just because I think they're being munchy.
BT SLN or HH SLN, while both are old and huge, one of the two might actually be effective.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 25 January 2014, 12:53:40
I was thinking the Battletech one, though throwing the Solarian League at somebody could be useful, even if only because of statistics. O0
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 26 January 2014, 23:13:30
When the second trooper in a Battle Armor squad takes a direct hit from a Gauss Rifle, I'm not allowed to describe it as "There's number two all over the place."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 27 January 2014, 17:49:25
I cannot demonstrate how a Mass-Driver is capable of "bearings only" shots with sufficient math.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 27 January 2014, 18:49:55
I cannot demonstrate how a Mass-Driver is capable of "bearings only" shots with sufficient math.

No you point out that the mass driver is laid along the keel of the ship and not in a turret thus you must turn the ship to align the mass driver with the target.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Kotetsu on 27 January 2014, 19:15:08
I will not take anything a Snow Raven says at face value.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Demon55 on 28 January 2014, 17:22:44
When playing as an AT soldier I will not grandstand against an MBT or battlemech.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 30 January 2014, 14:11:14
I cannot demonstrate how a Mass-Driver is capable of "bearings only" shots with sufficient math.

But why not?!  It isn't like the target is going to see it coming and isn't arriving on a predictable course!

But I can see the point.

I can not attempt to ship a large laser by a package delivery company to avoid odd questions, even if I have disassembled it into components under 70 kg to be under the individual box weight limit.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 03 February 2014, 19:18:18
One does not "eyeball" mass driver shots.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 03 February 2014, 21:50:03
Despite the conventional wisdom, "close" does not count with nuclear weapons.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 04 February 2014, 00:57:12
One does not "eyeball" mass driver shots.

Because Sir Isaac Newton is the deadliest son of a bitch in space!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 04 February 2014, 09:34:42
Despite the conventional wisdom, "close" does not count with nuclear weapons.

Wierdo begs to differ  :D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 04 February 2014, 13:46:33
Being able to justify my actions does not mean they aren't crimes against humanity.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 04 February 2014, 16:02:25
Being able to justify my actions does not mean they aren't crimes against humanity.

If I can justify crimes against humanity, the lawyer profession is forever barred to me.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Pat Payne on 04 February 2014, 17:52:42
If I suggest a course of action, and I am referred to the Geneva Conventions in reply, the proper response is to rethink my suggestion, and not to yell "Cool! Let's do it!" at the top of my lungs.

No, an Atlas is decidedly NOT an appropriate wine-making tool.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 04 February 2014, 23:59:04
I'm not allowed to fill the sandbox my neighbor's kids use with kitty litter again.

I'm not entirely certain if the objection was due to the kitty litter, or due to the fact that the kitties had already used it...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 05 February 2014, 03:33:17
No, an Atlas is decidedly NOT an appropriate wine-making tool.
What about a Fafnir, recent year's model, and not used in combat?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 05 February 2014, 05:52:08
One does not take the Rattler Mk II "Out for a spin"
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 05 February 2014, 13:38:31
The Captain's closet does not contain a portal to Narnia, and I can not requisition a scout vehicle to reconoiter it.

I can not get around this rule by issuing questionable coordinates for a land nav course.

I am  not authorized to modify the training regimen for new recruits.

I can not institue a draft to accquire personnel in an attempt to secure theoretical interdimensional gateways to allegorical worlds from children's fiction.

All medication is to be accquired from the base commisary, preferably with the advice of a doctor. Private Jenkins is neither.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Pat Payne on 05 February 2014, 19:56:21
I am forbidden, evermore, from describing the Firestarters and their pilots as "flaming."

Never again will I call Phoenix Hawk pilots "Roy," "Hikaru," "Max," "Hayao," or "Millia" unless those are their actual, given, names.

No Marauder pilot in history has ever been named "Kamujin." I will stop addressing them as such, immediately. Nor will I continue to look for signs of imminent betrayal from them.

It has recently come to my attention that it is poor sportsmanship, no matter how much fun it may be, to use my Atlas to pick up UrbanMechs, Hornets or Imps and go for the "7-10 split."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MrJake on 06 February 2014, 00:31:08
I cannot claim that I "accidentally" fired on my scout lance's Phoenix Hawk, Stinger, and Wasp because I couldn't see them.

"Copyright Infringement!!!" is not an appropriate battle cry.

Unseen does not mean what I think it means.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Pat Payne on 06 February 2014, 19:01:15
I have been officially banned from having either a Coat of Many Things or any sort of weapon that causes petrifaction, by the consensus of GMs.

If my Viking character comes across a Cockatrice ever again, he is to ask what the chicken-like creature is before declaring "we eat tonight!" (True story :P)

Quote from: GreenDragon
What about a Fafnir, recent year's model, and not used in combat?

I asked about that, and they also said no, something about wanting grape juice, not grape vapor :D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 07 February 2014, 14:23:22
The Two-sword using Medusa Paladin(with a Keen Falcata for her bonded weapon) will NOT pop Smite Evil
on the Big Bad Demon in the first round of the fight..she must at least let the other PCs have a chance to try
and hurt the Big Bad Demon. Apparently, killing the Demon in one round of Falcata and short sword strikes
makes the fighter, mage,  Bard, Ranger, and Druid feel useless.


In Shadowrun, when I make the Troll Face Social Adept, I will *NOT* talk my way through all situations,
even though that is what I am built for. I will allow the razorboy a chance to cut things occasionally, so
that he doesn't get bored by the game.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 08 February 2014, 00:26:44
A boss fight with that low of HP?  He should have had some minions with him.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 08 February 2014, 14:36:54
It did, lots of them attacking the town. We the PC's just didn't expect the paladin to freaking crit 3 times out of 4 on the smite strikes.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MrJake on 08 February 2014, 18:35:56
It did, lots of them attacking the town. We the PC's just didn't expect the paladin to freaking crit 3 times out of 4 on the smite strikes.

Meh. Crit happens.  O:-)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 08 February 2014, 20:13:36
Meh. Crit happens.  O:-)

And the Falcata has a 19-20/x3 crit...combine that with the smite evil...and it having a 17-20 range
for being Keen...(Note: it wasn't the actual Boss...it was a mini-boss level demon..the weaker things
around it were being taken care of pretty well, though..it was just...well, the Paladin laid the
cuisinart to it..
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 10 February 2014, 03:36:42
There are no forward blast concerns with 'Mech autocannons. I cannot attempt to create and/or weaponize it in any case.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 10 February 2014, 07:39:05
I am no longer allowed to bring a refrigerated trailer with me on adventures so that I can use my character's medical skills to 'loot the dead'.   It's not my fault that the organ grinders pay top dollar.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 10 February 2014, 12:12:43
I am no longer allowed to bring a refrigerated trailer with me on adventures so that I can use my character's medical skills to 'loot the dead'.   It's not my fault that the organ grinders pay top dollar.

I am no longer allows to bring organ grinders with me on adventures.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MrJake on 10 February 2014, 21:53:08
Well, the contract did say "full salvage."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 11 February 2014, 04:13:55
That's what I thought too.   Guess not.

Also, I am no longer allowed to start riots in the streets through the appropriate use of the Psychology skills and a high charisma score nor start the Brotherhood of Nod because I didn't want to pay back taxes.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Pat Payne on 11 February 2014, 18:09:13
If someone asks me if I am a god, the appropriate answer is always no.

This rule is rescinded if the questioner is Gozer.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 15 February 2014, 05:12:37
Even if a customer asks the same question four times in a row, receiving the same answer each time ("No"), I'm not allowed to attempt to crack their head open in order to harvest the heavy elements inside.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Molossian Dog IIC on 17 February 2014, 06:58:38
Insurance fraud caused by mech grade flamers is more difficult than many people think.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 17 February 2014, 09:19:45
I am not allowed to attempt insurance fraud by mech, dropship or (heaven forbit) warship.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 17 February 2014, 13:06:56
I'm not allowed to claim that it was double parked as a reason for why I backed over a civilian vehicle with Challenger X.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 17 February 2014, 13:20:50
I'm not allowed to claim that it was double parked as a reason for why I backed over a civilian vehicle with Challenger X.

Especially when the streets are in gridlock causing them all to appear to be double parked.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 17 February 2014, 13:38:28
"He started it" does not excuse me from stepping on a civilian whilst in my mech.

If I am in quad battle armour, I do not have to chase every cat that I see.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MrJake on 17 February 2014, 20:26:25
When leading a squad of quads, really long leashes do not count as Command and Control.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 18 February 2014, 01:11:11
I'm not allowed to attempt to hook a squad of Fenrir or Rottweiler BAs to a dogsled again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MrJake on 18 February 2014, 19:11:58
While I can use small, furry animals as targets in training, I can not then yell, "Squirrel!" whenever I see an officer.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 18 February 2014, 19:23:27
While I can use small, furry animals as targets in training, I can not then yell, "Squirrel!" whenever I see an officer.

Of course not, everyone knows that captain and below are chipmunks. Only majors and higher rate being squirrel.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 19 February 2014, 16:58:52
I am no longer allowed to use pictures of passenger trains in India as an example as to why I should be allowed to pack more troops onto a vehicle.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 19 February 2014, 17:47:15
If I am not allowed to use battle armour as ablative armour, the same also applies to standard infantry, even if I give them that half damage armour.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 20 February 2014, 00:05:20
That's just silly.  If they didn't want to be taking bullets for mechwarriors, they shouldn't have joined the infantry in the first place.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MrJake on 20 February 2014, 19:21:43
If I am not allowed to use battle armour as ablative armour, the same also applies to standard infantry, even if I give them that half damage armour.

If I may..."I am not allowed to refer to Battle Armor troops as ablative armor...."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Pat Payne on 20 February 2014, 19:58:31
Even if they're working on it in real life (http://news.yahoo.com/artificial-39-yarn-muscles-39-100x-stronger-human-190539016.html;_ylt=AwrBJSAUVAZTcAwAsZzQtDMD), I can't tell my GM that I'm going to repair myomer bundles with fishing line and yarn  ;D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 22 February 2014, 10:44:23
I am not allowed to refer to the cleric or members pf the clergy as "God's tech support" or holy tech support.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 22 February 2014, 19:00:29
I am not allowed to refer to the cleric or members pf the clergy as "God's tech support" or holy tech support.
Actually, in TORG's Cyberpapcy, that is a thing.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 02 March 2014, 11:34:37
When swallowed by the great Death Dragon that eats all dead souls, I will not let the priest cast ray of
sickness into the Dragon, while the other priest uses a decanter of endless water on "fire hose" setting
with the party or previous dead PCs in a Boat in a Box as they try to ride out the dragons throat...

Or, should I say, if the party DOES do that, I will not let the Dragon roll a 1 on its fortitude save to resist
the ray of sickness...

(Yes...my game group does end up having some weird and amusing stuff happen to it..but, at least it is
not as disturbing as Falchions group used to be...I miss him sharing the crazy stuff from his groups, actually)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 09 March 2014, 23:57:10
I'm not allowed to suggest that a customer would be better off if instead of contacting us for more tech support they instead went to a primate research facility to allow the monkeys to test them for any signs of intelligence.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 13 March 2014, 22:35:21
I cannot dangle a doctor out of a window as an excuse to the police for why I'm driving 80 in a 30 mph area.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 13 March 2014, 22:42:57
Relativity is not a defense for speeding.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 13 March 2014, 23:00:26
Neither is the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 24 March 2014, 20:41:19
The correct response to being snubbed at a high society gathering is not a week of sustained orbital bombardment.

Also, when duelling with swords, I am not allowed to use a battlemech weapon.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Dakkagor on 26 March 2014, 06:58:44
From our recent AD&D game:

The assassin is not allowed to throw his knives into an ongoing melee.

Especially if they are poisoned.

Especially if the cleric is a possible target

We are no longer allowed to refer to the level one wizard as 'ambulatory rations'

Even if the party is comprised solely of half orcs, except for him, and he's a gnome.

No longer allowed to theorize why the party of half orcs has a gnome.  (current working theory is a botched kidnapping and stockholm syndrome, and thats more than we need to know)

Certainly not allowed to posit that we probably like the pack mule more than the gnome.  (it has a lot in common with a half orc. . .stubborn, a half breed, sterile, kind of ugly. . .)

Cleric is no longer allowed to name the results of his turn undead spell, and then keep them as pets.

Druid is no longer allowed to destroy the results of the turn undead spell without the permission of the Cleric.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 26 March 2014, 08:59:52
Taking a shortcut through the Gnome Colony on another continent's wheatfield is a BAD idea.

The effects of Gnomish Coffee on a human(Hyper-awareness, synethesia, speeding up thought process,
and wakefulness) are not a joke, no matter how funny they might be to watch. And, just because one
rogue managed to survive does not mean I can give Gnomish Coffee to another rogue. Only Gnomes
shall drink Gnomish Coffee.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 26 March 2014, 12:08:57
The party's gnome shall not be referred to as "Canary" while we're heading underground.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 26 March 2014, 12:17:06
The party's gnome shall not be referred to as "Canary" while we're heading underground.

My high-level wizard is not allowed to refer to his fireball spell as an "instant shortcut" or "doorway maker".

Also, from a recent Shadowrun4 game: Just because my demo specialist can bring down the entire skyscraper with a single well-placed explosive charge, doesn't mean he's allowed to. Also, adding a building outline to my kill tally is considered poor form.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 26 March 2014, 12:50:00
My high-level wizard is not allowed to refer to his fireball spell as an "instant shortcut" or "doorway maker".

Of course not.  That's what Disintegrate is for.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 26 March 2014, 23:35:56
Management says that I'm supposed to ask more questions when assisting a customer so that I can get a better feel for what products and services might be best for them, but now they're saying not to.

How was I supposed to know "have you ever killed a man because he killed your goat" wasn't appropriate for someone who's trying to pick out a cell phone?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 28 March 2014, 20:45:42
I have been informed that a chemistry degree does not confer the right to gas the entire building.  Yes, it solved the problem of breaking into the facility and assassinating the target but TPTB do not look kindly on indiscriminate acts like this.

In addition, knowing a facility has a lock down procedure against biological contamination is not free license to recreate the opening scene of Resident Evil.   No, I will not be allowed to create a zombie virus just to recreate the opening scene with the pure intention just to watch the chaos, even if this is Shadowrun and we have ghouls already...  weaponization of this disease is disallowed.

In fact, no biological or chemical weapons, poisons, or toxins in general.   Some things are just too cruel to inflict on others it seems in the minds of most GMs... and courts.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 28 March 2014, 21:32:38
The response to "your character doesn't have access to the materials to make a bomb" is not a challenge to head for the kitchen and create a prototype.

My Cleric is no longer allowed to have create a horde of undead halflings as a "proof of concept".

Time Stop does not last long enough for me to preform "surgical modifications" to an enemy's digestive track.

I am not to explain to children what my colorful euphemisms mean while in a public game shop.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Falchion on 05 April 2014, 22:25:29
A white robe does not make you a Comstar acolyte. Not even a Comstar acolyte's robe. Not even if he gave it to you without bloodshed.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 06 April 2014, 11:20:37
If the rest of the group decide to play hard-bitten mercenaries with custom battlemechs, I am not allowed to play a diplomat who solves every situation politically before mechs need to be deployed.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 06 April 2014, 21:35:50
The tech team has enough trouble keeping our 'mechs intact with out me requesting water wings and a pool noodle.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 07 April 2014, 14:55:24
If the rest of the group decide to play hard-bitten mercenaries with custom battlemechs, I am not allowed to play a diplomat who solves every situation politically before mechs need to be deployed.

I did that with a Troll Face in Shadowrun....the Street Sams were both rather upset at me that they never got to
kill things when I was playing :(
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Mordegald on 09 April 2014, 12:24:13
Yes, my Commando's handle is Dodger. No, I may not give it a 'mech-scale flat cap and talk in a cockney accent while piloting it.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 09 April 2014, 13:36:58
I am no longer allowed to give a sermon or overly dramatic monologue and time it with the orbital path of a warship so that I can call down the 'wrath of god' in the form of a NPPC battery strike.   While this is an amazing visual effect, what with the skies being split by the beam, it is not viewed favorably by the local land owners.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 09 April 2014, 19:22:02
I am no longer allowed to give a sermon or overly dramatic monologue and time it with the orbital path of a warship so that I can call down the 'wrath of god' in the form of a NPPC battery strike.   While this is an amazing visual effect, what with the skies being split by the beam, it is not viewed favorably by the local land owners.

That is only if it is not used to stop the enemy in which case it is considered style.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 09 April 2014, 19:51:56
I am no longer allowed to "commandeer" the local orbital defence installation to use the NAC battery as a firework launcher. Even if it was visible the next continent over. Doing so was incredibly awsome and cool highly irresponsible and not at all a good thing.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Maskerade on 14 April 2014, 17:35:30
Arming the commoners/peasants is fine. Weaponising them less so.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 14 April 2014, 22:43:08
After the stampede in the CO's office, I'm now required to get confirmation about whether someone wants me to deliver the news or deliver the gnus.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 20 April 2014, 15:08:41
I'm not allowed to take a Destrier through the drive-up window again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 22 April 2014, 15:15:24
The members of my party are not my personal science experiments.   I may not spend more time creating detailed physical work  ups instead of actually healing them nor pray for crippling injuries in combat to begin the cybernetic and bio-engineering process to improve them.   I am to remember that living beings are not lego sets.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 03 May 2014, 01:24:07
When my Wolfhound rounds a corner and sees a Daishi staring right back at him in a Double Blind game, I'm no longer allowed to declare Threat Condition Brown.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: FedRatCowboy on 11 May 2014, 21:35:36
When piloting said Daishi, I am not allowed to rub the Wolfhound's nose it the mess it just made and scream "BAD PUPPY!!!!"
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 29 September 2014, 14:05:30
I'm no longer allowed to attempt to take out an Ares by infecting the crew with the common cold virus.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 29 September 2014, 15:04:47
I cannot weaponize my cat's shed.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 02 October 2014, 08:37:12
I am no longer allowed to use the front man from Dghingis(sp?) Khan when they perform Muscau as
the visual inspiration for a Silver Fang NPC....
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 02 October 2014, 17:04:26
A lightweight mech isn't a 95 ton mech.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 02 October 2014, 17:26:48
It is compared to a 135 ton mech.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 02 October 2014, 18:07:30
A lightweight mech isn't a 95 ton mech.

It is if you're a Lyran
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 06 October 2014, 05:35:01
A lightweight mech isn't a 95 ton mech.
It is if you're a Lyran

No: it is a Lyran heavy Mech. 80 tons is light, 85-90 tons is Medium, 95 is heavy.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 06 October 2014, 19:19:00
We are not playing O.G.R.E..  I am not allowed to purchase nuclear warheads, plant them in the middle of the map, and claim that they are command detonated mines.    Nor can I create 'Nuclear Limpet Mines'.   Even super heavy battlemechs and tanks do not warrant this level of combat.   When someone creates the rules for a BOLO or an O.G.R.E.... then I will be allowed but not till that day.

It doesn't matter that there is a battlemech company down there or a squadron of submarines lurking under the waves, I am also not allowed to deploy them as depth charges.

I am not allowed to recreate the crash of White Star One into Z'ha'dum from Babylon 5... even if it would solve all our problems at the cost of a single leopard dropship.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 18 October 2014, 22:45:09
I'm no longer allowed to keep trained attack pigs in my back yard to deal with any annoying salespeople who come to my door.

Apparently it violates a city ordinance or something.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: nerd on 19 October 2014, 02:33:33
I'm no longer allowed to keep trained attack pigs in my back yard to deal with any annoying salespeople who come to my door.

Apparently it violates a city ordinance or something.
But Fresh bacon?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 19 October 2014, 18:52:15
I tried saying that as an appeal, but one incident where your attack pigs get loose and eat a few of the neighbors' kids and suddenly everybody's dead set against them.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 19 October 2014, 23:21:16
Discussing my political views with the press is frowned upon. Doubly so when they concern the Chancellor. Triply so when I raid the medical lab for visual aids.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 19 October 2014, 23:26:42
Are you raiding the med lab or the adult shop?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 19 October 2014, 23:39:17
You mean which one first? Start with the med lab so you know what size to buy. ^-^
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Syzyx on 20 October 2014, 16:48:55
I am not allowed to ignore the restraining order against me even in combat conditions. Especially while in my Archer. Even more especially when fighting in close combat near my ex-wife's house. And with the added corrolary that I cannot judo flip a Banshee no matter how good my piloting skill.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 23 October 2014, 23:00:10
I'm not allowed to buy a time machine, go back in time, bet on a bunch of sporting events I know the outcome of, go back in time again, invest the money in the stock market in stocks I know will skyrocket, take the money, go back in time again, and put the money into banks to let it grow compound interest for about 100 years, then use the end results to buy the time machine.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 26 October 2014, 02:53:52
I'm not allowed to buy a time machine, go back in time, bet on a bunch of sporting events I know the outcome of, go back in time again, invest the money in the stock market in stocks I know will skyrocket, take the money, go back in time again, and put the money into banks to let it grow compound interest for about 100 years, then use the end results to buy the time machine.

Well of course not! The banks cannot let you MAKE money from them. It would be better to invest that in mutual
funds and investment groups that you know will be successful.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 29 October 2014, 22:04:26
I'm not allowed to issue declarations of war by sending the target AC/DC lyrics again.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 30 October 2014, 12:34:26
I'm not allowed to issue declarations of war by sending the target AC/DC lyrics again.

I can almost image which tracks too.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 10 November 2014, 21:09:59
When I am pilotting an Atlas, I am no longer allowed to refer to our scout's Commando as "little bro".

On an unrelated note, I am not allowed to pick up and use said scout's Commando as a mechshield for said Atlas. Even if he can still fire his weapons.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 10 November 2014, 21:50:38
I'm no longer allowed to refer to the company's Urbanmech as "Short Round."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 12 November 2014, 18:14:48
I'm no longer allowed to refer to the company's Urbanmech as "Short Round."

Not even if the pilot is a short Cappellan kid with blocks tied to his shoes so he can reach the pedals.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 22 November 2014, 13:54:05
Not allowed to make body builder poses with my Atlas mech no matter how much it makes the women happy.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 22 November 2014, 20:09:09
I'm no longer allowed to refer to Girls Und Panzer as a DCMS armored division training manual.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Manticore on 22 November 2014, 21:52:14
I'm no longer allowed to refer to Girls Und Panzer as a DCMS armored division training manual.

Well, of course not... It's a Lyran manual. :D

No longer allowed to step on an Urbie's foot to see if the top flips up.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 28 December 2014, 00:22:29
I'm no longer allowed to try teaching my cousin's kids what schadenfreude is.

When my niece asks if I think of her as my number one relative, I'm no longer allowed to say that I think of her as more of a number two.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 30 December 2014, 00:39:30
Launching objects toward an enemy capital at super-luminal velocity is a war crime, not a gift to "unilaterally declare peace".

It is still an appropriate response to fruitcake.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 31 December 2014, 05:42:48
Launching objects toward an enemy capital at super-luminal velocity is a war crime, not a gift to "unilaterally declare peace".

It is still an appropriate response to fruitcake.

Hey now! Fruitcakes are, as I understand it, a survival ration! They last at LEAST a century!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 03 January 2015, 16:32:30
The gunnery chief would like to remind me that field rations are not a replacement for tungsten penetrator rounds. More to the point, I would gain no satisfaction if such an experiment proved successful as I still have to eat them.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: grimlock1 on 05 January 2015, 19:27:47
Not allowed to retrofit a Wolverine with Reinforced Structure, Harjel II in every location and a pair of claws.

Summoners may not be equipped with maces and PPCs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: grimlock1 on 05 January 2015, 19:47:31
The Long Tom is not to be used as an instrument for the percussion parts of the 1812 Overture.
Why not?  The West Point band uses cannons to play the 1812.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 06 January 2015, 12:25:06
I am no longer allowed to play a game of "Halo 3" against anyone else in my local Btech group. Apparently, I am "Too MLG" for his sorry a... *Ahem*.

I'm also no longer allowed to make a legion of remote-controlled, Booby-trapped Gladiators. Or rather, I'm not allowed to use them.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 07 January 2015, 02:23:21
I'm not allowed to refer to an Intentional Fall From Above as a "Wrestlemania Strike."

I'm also no longer allowed to perform Intentional Falls From Above.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 08 January 2015, 04:08:40
I'm not allowed to refer to an Intentional Fall From Above as a "Wrestlemania Strike."

I'm also no longer allowed to perform Intentional Falls From Above.

I am no longer allowed to do Intentional Falls From Above using LAMs in AirMech mode
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 08 January 2015, 12:13:24
I am no longer allowed to use a rocket launcher "drive by style" from a Pack Rat and shoot into an Clan Ammunition Dump.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 08 January 2015, 19:35:32
I am no longer allowed to use a rocket launcher "drive by style" from a Pack Rat and shoot into an Clan Ammunition Dump.
Why not?  Its what I'd do.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 08 January 2015, 20:04:19
I cannot see the target without my glasses. The Captain has declared this a situation where I'm not to provide close fire support.  :-\
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 09 January 2015, 08:59:17
Why not?  Its what I'd do.
Resulting explosion from the Ammo Dump took out the entire area it was located and tipped over the Rat Pack me and my group were in. By the way were on Strana Mechty during the negations with Clans.  Fun times, Dark Caste, Clan's version of the keystone cops (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keystone_Cops) running around. fun times.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 09 January 2015, 11:31:23
Resulting explosion from the Ammo Dump took out the entire area it was located and tipped over the Rat Pack me and my group were in. By the way were on Strana Mechty during the negations with Clans.  Fun times, Dark Caste, Clan's version of the keystone cops (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keystone_Cops) running around. fun times.

So, you climb out the back hatch and flip the thing upright and then haul ass. Been there done that with BMPs during field exercises.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 10 January 2015, 13:56:09
I am no longer allowed to paint all of the iATM inferno missiles lemon yellow and calling them lemons. Command says I burn down too many civilian structures that way.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 10 January 2015, 14:15:57
No matter what the vids show, smoking in the cockpit is against regulations. Especially the part where I take of my neurohelmet because the face plate is stuck.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 10 January 2015, 14:27:46
No more challenging Clan warriors to dance offs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 10 January 2015, 15:12:36
Do not challenge Clan Ice Hellion to a Trial by video games. Aside from the speed run jokes, they tend to throw controllers when they lose.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ErikModi on 31 January 2015, 13:15:33
I am not allowed to conclude any description of a plan by pointing to someone with a prosthetic replacement and claiming the plan requires it.

While I am technically allowed to begin a plan by claiming I require someone's prosthetic replacement, in actuality it is incredibly difficult to get anyone to listen past "step one."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 01 February 2015, 11:46:35
I am no longer allowed to perform "Trust falls" with my Atlas.

The exception to this rule is if I perform a trustfall with an enemy unit, or if I have battlearmor on my unit's back.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 01 February 2015, 17:57:12
I am no longer allowed to justify why and how there is an entire company of tanks deployed in hidden bunkers with the excuse of 'Landscaping is a legitimate hobby and interest.'
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 12 February 2015, 01:46:50
I'm no longer allowed to borrow the time machine in order to take a bunch of used video games I bought cheap back to when they were brand new and sell them for a profit.

I'm also no longer allowed to use the time machine to go back in time to when a rare and valuable video game was easy to obtain, buy a bunch of copies, then return to the present and sell them for a profit.

I'm especially not allowed to use the time machine to buy merch from musicians shortly before their tragic deaths in order to scalp it.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 12 February 2015, 20:39:48
Sending Death Commandos to assassinate idols is not an approved form of psychological warfare. When said idol is named Lynn Minmei it becomes a moral obligation.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 12 February 2015, 21:16:44
Don't send assassins after Lynn Minmei.

Take off and nuke the entire site from orbit, it's the only way to be certain.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 12 February 2015, 22:25:24
I dunno, the Zentraedi tried that approach. Look where it got them.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 12 February 2015, 23:00:38
They made the mistake of targeting Earth's military forces instead of her.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: WarGod on 02 March 2015, 22:14:34
Canopian Pleasure Circuses are not acceptable "stops along way" when going tdy.  Also it is wrong for me me to use my AFFS travel card to pay for entertainment at Canopian Pleasure Circuses .

I am no longer allowed to play High speed dirt by megadeth during orbital drops.

I am no longer allowed to use corsair aerospace fighters as "lawn darts" from orbit.

I am no longer allowed to paint the "SPAM" logo on the battle armor.

Firing TC Srms at battle armor is messy, it is not funny to tell new recruits that the battle armor is full of cherry pop soda.

The chain of command does not care I had to work late, I am NOT allowed to take a Gürteltier, to pick up my date, then go to a bar.

Northwind highlanders get really mad when there kilts go missing.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 02 March 2015, 22:22:27
Firing TC Srms at battle armor is messy, it is not funny to tell new recruits that the battle armor is full of cherry pop soda.

Of course not.  You're supposed to tell them that the BA are full of beet juice or raspberry jam (depending on consistency).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 02 March 2015, 22:39:46
I am not a certified munitions tech, and thus am forbidden from loading an "specialized rounds" that I made in my garage.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: WarGod on 02 March 2015, 23:02:48
DO NOT use a Davy Crockett as balls in mech rugby matches.

I am not allowed to fight a trail of possession for world in a augmented rugby match with elementals.

Do not taunt the ice hellions, they tend to get upset, throw a temper tantrum get beaten, then not want to play anymore.

While cool, I am not allowed to hook up a ammo loader vehicle to my dual rotary 5 toting templar, and load it with nothing but tracers.

Plasma rifles are not a acceptable way to break up a riot.

If I think of somtehting , and giggle, i'm probaly not allowed to do it.   [soapbox]
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 02 March 2015, 23:26:23
If I think of somtehting , and giggle, i'm probaly not allowed to do it.

They tell me the same thing in the rules subforums...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 03 March 2015, 00:38:27
I'm not allowed to skid with a battlemech into a city just because I don't want to use my ammo.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 03 March 2015, 01:24:59
I'm no longer allowed to try break-dancing in a Hauberk suit.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 03 March 2015, 02:15:51
I thought any dancing in a Hauberk was automatically break-dancing...
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 03 March 2015, 02:36:51
That's actually due to the alcohol.

You didn't think I was going to try dancing in two tons of power armor while I was sober, did you?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: WarGod on 03 March 2015, 09:17:27
Battle Armor mosh pits are a bad idea
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 03 March 2015, 12:00:43
Referring your assigned Battle Armor Squad as your ablative armor is not good idea.  Especially if your commanding officer is also a Battle Armor user.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 03 March 2015, 12:38:04
I am not to hover a dropship over a city at low altitudes in an attempt to sign my name with the exhaust.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 03 March 2015, 23:31:24
Referring your assigned Battle Armor Squad as your ablative armor is not good idea.  Especially if your commanding officer is also a Battle Armor user.

This is why the Hellbringer II was made...obviously Elementals got some higher position in the Jade Falcons.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: WarGod on 04 March 2015, 00:39:44
I am not allowed to forge my commanding s officer signature, to use a jump ship, commandeer 3 drop ships.  Then take my mech company, with some civilian volunteers to go across the border into jade falcon territory.  orbital drop onto a industrial complex, hold off the falcons while my dropships land, and my civilian volunteers, load sturmfers, allacorns, and demolishers left at the factory into the drop ships.   I am also not allowed to sell any of the tanks for personal profit, even if I sold only 4 out of the 30 we recovered.   
(this honestly happened in a ATOW, the regimental commander heard about this stunt, and wanted a significant share of the profits, he also was not sure weather to pin a medal on me, or send me to prison)

The COC does not care what I read in mechtech magazine, we have a budget, so requisitioning a refit for my blackjack, that involves light Ac/5's AES, a trageting computer, and a XL engine is NOT GOING TO BE APPROVED.



Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 04 March 2015, 01:14:19
I'm no longer allowed to attempt a DFA maneuver in a dropship while broadcasting Led Zeppelin on all frequencies.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 04 March 2015, 11:48:49
No matter how many times I "respectfully request", the correct response to the XO's questions is never "eat my shorts".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: WarGod on 04 March 2015, 12:28:12
I am not allowed into ANY ordnance storage areas with out adult supervision. 

I am not allowed to buy Canoapian cat girls, to start a side business just outside the post.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 15 March 2015, 02:22:35
I'm no longer allowed to sabotage the enemy by filling their commander's hot tub with instant pudding.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 16 March 2015, 16:48:38
That hardly sound like sabotage, more like a good time.

I am no longer allowed to park my 'mech outside of the camp buildings and blare obscene sayings and references over my 'mechs PA system whenever a lower-ranking soldier exits a camp building. the laundry staff is mad at me about how many pairs of uniform pants need extra cleaning lately.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 16 March 2015, 17:28:08
I'm not allowed to name mechwarriors after 1980s pornstars.  :-X
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 16 March 2015, 17:33:48
That hardly sound like sabotage, more like a good time.

Which is why I'm no longer allowed to do it.

Instead, I'm putting ghost chili essence in his nasal spray.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 18 March 2015, 08:43:40
I'm not allowed to name mechwarriors after 1980s pornstars.  :-X

Um..OK..Please pay no attention to the Dervish piloted by Hypatia Lee, then.. ;)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 29 March 2015, 16:25:38
I'm no longer allowed to comment on any similarities in color and texture between my grandmother's meat loaf and the brand of canned cat food she buys.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 31 March 2015, 17:15:40
The quartermaster has informed me that I can't requisition "more cowbell".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 01 April 2015, 23:23:06
I'm not allowed to refer to the Fire Mandrills as "Clan Monkey Business," "Clan Gorilla Warfare," or "Clan Ape ****."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Orin J. on 10 April 2015, 00:08:39
do not try to defend the peace talks from rioters using nuclear warheads, regardless of how effective you believe a MAD stratagem is or how much "my employer is cheating me with these contract loopholes".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 10 April 2015, 07:40:18
I am not allowed to when forced to pick combined arms that include Battle Armor and use them solely as reinforced armor for my OmniMechs.
Let's give this Strider some extra armor jacket, Hey, Inner Sphere Battle Armor Squad 2, i got a ride for you...   [brew]
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 01 May 2015, 00:30:36
I'm not allowed to refer to my Unseen Phoenix Hawk as Jetfire.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 03 May 2015, 03:12:31
I'm no longer allowed to refer to my companion's Banshee as 'Waspinator' due to its constant destruction. Every time it's been fielded, it takes a headcapping weapon to the head before it can have any effect.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 04 May 2015, 01:00:37
I'm not allowed to borrow the time machine in order to insert pop culture references into important historic documents.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 13 May 2015, 20:26:21
I'm not allowed to teach my mom's bridge group to play Cards Against Humanity.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 14 May 2015, 10:49:24
I'm not allowed to skip Fireballs like skipping rocks on water.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Perigrin on 01 July 2015, 21:48:40
Ok, my list got pulled for accidental rule dodging due to being transferred directly from another site of mine. i added a bit, replaced the offending word with something much funnier, and here the list is.
Ok, so i accidentally left in a thing which was a violation of the rules, i changed that to something that is honestly funnier, and reposted.
1: It is not nice to show up for a Lyran recon mission in Atlas's.
2: Thors cannot pick up Warhammers and throw them.
3: Your Grand Titan does not contain part of your soul.
4: The Free Wolds League does not appreciate you repainting a company of Assault mechs purple and pink.
5: A Catapult is never a brawler, no matter how many SRM's you put in the thing.
6: Urbanmechs are no longer to be used for trash disposal.
7: Urbanmechs are not R2D2 in Disguise
8: Being a Solarus 7 pilot does not entitle you to scream "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?!?!?!?"
9: Your medium lance callsigns cannot be from MLP
10: Lyrans are not Nazi's
11: Davions are not Nazi's
12: Your mechs cannot combine into a mega Atlas
13: Lokis are NOT sexy
14: Neither are Thors
15: Wearing battlearmor does not make you Iron Man
16: Your Assault mechs are not magical girls
17: Even if you put Tu-Tu's on them
18: You cannot take Bondsmen from Inner Sphere units.
19: Castle will NOT sing Opera
20: Hanse Davion was not a Furry, the name "Fox" was not literal.
21: If a mech has more tonnage in medium lasers than the rest of the mech, it won't end well.
22: No playing country music over enemy comms. We are still cleaning the J-Pop out of the system.
23: Any mech carrying more PPC's than a company of pumas is not to leave the hanger.
24: Atlas's are not Skeletor's children.
25: Wolf's Dragoons are nit werewolves
26: No seducing ANY major noble.
27: Awesomes should not be covered in chicken feathers.
28: You do not have any realm leaders on speed dial.
29: The Hello Kitty Kit Fox worked once. Never again.
30: The Firemoth is not a water boy.
31: There is more to hand to hand combat than the "My god what is that" tactic.
32: Kai Allard-Liao is not your Waifu
33: Land-Air Mechs do not make transformer sounds
34: TSM is not going Super Sayan
35: Elemental Duck Duck Goose is not a valid training tactic.
36: Niether is leap frog
37: Outreach is not a wretched hive
38: Clanners do not "just need a hug"
39: Especially if you are both in mechs at the time.
40: No more Michael Jackson dance routines in Commandos.
41: That fancy car did not have the sausage king of Tharkad in it, stop grieving
42: Sexy imagery is not appropriate warpaint.
43: Atlas's do not have a weak spot on the back of the neck
44: Battle Armor is not appropriate wedding wear.
45: The PPC is not an actual MechWarrior drink.
46: You cannot carry more ammo than your average garrison ever again. We are still finding pieces of that MadCat.
47: You are not the chosen one
48: Imps do not shoot fireballs without modification.
49: Honor is just a word
50: Never talk about the incident with the Blood Asp, A massive Bikini, and the Drunk Cappellan.
51: There is no such thing as a Marik Mating Dance
52: Mechs do not explode when dickshot
53: You are not a Mobile Suit Pilot
54: Duck tape is not the Techs wife
55: The Crab is not a Spy.
56: No putting guys you dont like in Spiders
57: No longer allowed access to C3 Center
58: Cannot have any gun bigger than a Locust.
59: Chainsaws are not practical melee weapons
60: No one is your soulmate.
61: Yes Protomechs look pretty ugly. No, that doesnt excuse punting then like footballs
62: Chargers are not Ninja Atlas's
63: No, the Komodo is not a walking laser rave
64: No more Armless Atlas's
65: No, tentacle monsters are not native to the Draconis Combine.
66: The proper response to an infantry attack is not "BARBEQUE!"
67: Patrick Kell did not die for your sins
68: Quoting Sun Tzu going into battle is ok. Quoting Sun-Hwa Kwon is not
69: Flipping off a Daishi is a bad move
70: Any plan involving the word " Freon " is vetoed
71: Clanners do not have Bright Green facial Tattoos
72: A Stinger is not a good present for a 8 year old
73: MadCats are not created when a Catapult and a Marauder love eachother very much
74: No more pulling Crazy Ivans in Assault mechs
75: Elementals are not Fairies.
76: No more discussion on a gun that shoots Urbanmechs.
77: No more discussion on the topic of Mech Sex
78: Jade Falcons only fall for the Candygram once.
79: Flamers are not good cigarette lighters, and it is mean to tell the noobies that they are.
80: Do NOT talk about Clan Wolverine.
81: Come out to PLAAYAY is not an appropriate warcry
82: No more Cappelan Knockoff parts.
83: Do not meddle in the affairs of Clanners, for you are poorly bred, and easily defenestrated
84: I'm gonna punch him in the Gabber is not enough of a plan
85: Can-Can lines, while effective, are not standard Marik CQC formations
86: Any mechs involving a 20 meter long Myomer tongue are no longer allowed
87: Locust pilots are the weirdest
88: Black Knights have no boosted ability to fight after loosing limbs
89: Any attempt to form a summoning circle will be subjected to artillery strikes
90: Not allowed to spike the punch with: Viagra, Virgins blood, Pigs blood, sequins, or welding fuel
91: You may not load Elementals as Gauss ammo.
92: Kicking an Elemental through the uprights does not score 3 points, although carrying an Elemental across the battle line all the way to the opponent's HQ may constitute a 7 point "touchdown" under some conditions.
93: The Charger DOES have "right of way"; failure to yield may hurt.
94: FASCAM ammunition is not to be modified with confetti as a "Party Projection System
95: Mechs are not to be used to settle anything relating to an ex spouse, unless they are currently leading a revolution.
96: Timeouts are no longer accepted
97: Ghost Bears are not heavy metal vikings
98: Your Zues is not sexy
99: No yelling "OI LOOKIT THAT" and then running away at political meetings
100: Clan Incontinent Gorilla is not, has not, and will never be a thing.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 01 July 2015, 23:11:06
42: Sexy imagery is not appropriate warpaint.

Tell that to the 6th Lyran Guard.

Quote
44: Battle Armor is not appropriate wedding wear.

You've clearly been going to the wrong weddings.

Quote
45: The PPC is not an actual MechWarrior drink.

You do know we've got the recipe for it, right?

Quote
61: Yes Protomechs look pretty ugly. No, that doesnt excuse punting then like footballs

You don't punt them because they're ugly, you punt them because it's fun!

Quote
65: No, tentacle monsters are not native to the Draconis Combine.

Yeah, I think they're native to Canopus.

Quote
97: Ghost Bears are not heavy metal vikings

The hell they aren't!

I'm no longer allowed to challenge Clanners to Yo Mamma joke competitions.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: IronHead on 01 July 2015, 23:29:23
29: The Hello Kitty Kit Fox worked once. Never again.

This one intrigues me.  Is it safe to assume i don't want to know?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Perigrin on 02 July 2015, 00:20:13
Ok, first, with the PPC thing, it was a joke about how, in universe, most mechwarriors don't drink the PPC, because its not good to pilot when you cant feel most of your body.
The Hello Kitty Kit Fox is something that happened in my gaming group once. i will elaborate later, after i find the remaining pieces of it.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 02 July 2015, 00:32:07
Ok, first, with the PPC thing, it was a joke about how, in universe, most mechwarriors don't drink the PPC, because its not good to pilot when you cant feel most of your body.

This is the Mechwarrior Hall.  If you're being serious you're doing it wrong.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 02 July 2015, 05:32:13
I am not allowed to eat solid food until my wisdom teeth sutures heal. Not funny, but true. it sucks. I already miss eating toast. And pizza.

Now, on topic; I am no longer allowed to blare "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones on PA systems when piloting a Scarecrow against infantry.

I am also no longer allowed to make Mechassault 2 profiles named as jokes. I am, however, still allowed to use the ones I made already. Some popular profile names are; "THOMAS HOGARTH!", "Blake's Love", "An emo Cappellan", and "Ice Hellion IlKhan".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 02 July 2015, 07:00:45
I am no longer allow fill Rocket launchers with Fire Works.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 02 July 2015, 09:47:31
I am not allowed to try to justify throwing elementals at VTOLs in the hopes that they will jam up the rotors.

Elementals are also not to be listed as 'smart weapons' on cargo manifests.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ClarkeMarek on 03 July 2015, 00:33:49

1: It is not nice to show up for a Lyran recon mission in Atlas's.

Right.  The current Lyran recon mech is a Zeus. :)

Quote
2: Thors cannot pick up Warhammers and throw them.

They could if they had hand actuators. :)

Quote
4: The Free Wolds League does not appreciate you repainting a company of Assault mechs purple and pink.

Why?  Fraid they're gonna clash with the Andurien paint schemes, forcing them to succeed again? :P

Quote
6: Urbanmechs are no longer to be used for trash disposal.

So we can start using them as beer kegs? :)

Quote
7: Urbanmechs are not R2D2 in Disguise

Course not, they're Daleks.

Quote
18: You cannot take Bondsmen from Inner Sphere units.

Tell that to the Nova Cats. :P


Quote
20: Hanse Davion was not a Furry, the name "Fox" was not literal.

I got pictures that say otherwise. ;) :)

Quote
22: No playing country music over enemy comms. We are still cleaning the J-Pop out of the system.

We discussed this.  Miley Cyrus is a war crime.  Billy Ray, not so much.

Quote
23: Any mech carrying more PPC's than a company of pumas is not to leave the hanger.

Which one?  You mean the one that Iwas shot all to blazes?

Quote
24: Atlas's are not Skeletor's children.

Durn right, they're Hordak's children. ;)


Quote
27: Awesomes should not be covered in chicken feathers.

It's either that or leather, and believe me, leather stinks when it gets hit with a ppc blast.

Quote
28: You do not have any realm leaders on speed dial.

Then whose number did I jot down off the bathroom wall? ???

Quote
29: The Hello Kitty Kit Fox worked once. Never again.

Come on.  It's adoreable. :)

Quote
30: The Firemoth is not a water boy.

Darn right.  FIREMOTHS ARE THE DEVIL!!!!!

Quote
33: Land-Air Mechs do not make transformer sounds

How do you know? ???

Quote
37: Outreach is not a wretched hive

Lemme guess, you haven't been there in a while. ;)
 
Quote
38: Clanners do not "just need a hug"

Sure they do.  Around the neck with my bare hands.

Quote
40: No more Michael Jackson dance routines in Commandos.

For once I agree.  That's a waste of fine battle armor there.

Quote
43: Atlas's do not have a weak spot on the back of the neck

You're right, that's an elemental suit.

Quote
44: Battle Armor is not appropriate wedding wear.

It's not? ??? Then what am I supposed to wear?  Those silly costumes the Clanners wear to their Grand Council meetings?

Quote
45: The PPC is not an actual MechWarrior drink.

Oh yes it is, and if you don't drink it, your person card gets revoked. :)

Quote
46: You cannot carry more ammo than your average garrison ever again. We are still finding pieces of that MadCat.

I told you, it fell apart due to shoddy contruction.

Quote
47: You are not the chosen one

You say that now, but I promise, you'll change your tune when you need someone to peel potatoes.


Quote
50: Never talk about the incident with the Blood Asp, A massive Bikini, and the Drunk Cappellan.

Oh, you mean the time after Bulldog when we stayed at that bar in the *thunk* #P

Quote
51: There is no such thing as a Marik Mating Dance

You've...never been to Atreus, have you? ;)

Quote
67: Patrick Kell did not die for your sins

You're right, that was Nick Kerensky. :)

Quote
78: Jade Falcons only fall for the Candygram once.

The sharks beg to differ. :P

Quote
79: Flamers are not good cigarette lighters, and it is mean to tell the noobies that they are.

"Hey, new guy.  Need a light?  Here, let me fire up my Large pulse laser." :)

Quote
80: Do NOT talk about Clan Wolverine.

I can talk about Logan's family, right? :)

Quote
82: No more Cappelan Knockoff parts.

Hey, you where the one that complained about us using beer cans, bailing wire, and sheet metal. :P

Quote
88: Black Knights have no boosted ability to fight after loosing limbs

But it was only a flesh wound. :(

Quote
89: Any attempt to form a summoning circle will be subjected to artillery strikes

Right, gotchya, only use artillery for summoning circles.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ClarkeMarek on 03 July 2015, 00:35:21

Elementals are also not to be listed as 'smart weapons' on cargo manifests.

They would if they where engineered with brains. :P
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 03 July 2015, 03:50:08
Just because the radio station plays the same songs over and over again, I am not allowed to use their signal for homing missiles.  Apparently this is a war crime.  Who knew?

And apparently playing the same songs over and over again is not proscribed under any known Convention.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 03 July 2015, 11:48:09
That depends on the song.

If they're playing Disco Duck, artillery is authorized.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 03 July 2015, 20:26:22
I am not allowed play "Condor Man" theme song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GDtNLuQX5GQ) while driving Condor Heavy Hover Tank.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 03 July 2015, 23:50:14
That depends on the song.

If they're playing Disco Duck, artillery is authorized.
The Mix plays the "best" of the nineties, two thousands, and today.  They have special formats like:
The Same Stuff Thursday
More of the Same Stuff Monday
Some More of the Same Stuff Saturday
One More Time Wednesday
Two More Times Tuesday
Fed-up with the Format Friday
and Sucktastic Sunday (where they shake things up and play bad songs from the 70s as well - not just disco, but simply the 70s in general).

Sadly, Rick Dees Greatest Hit would be a step up.

Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 03 July 2015, 23:55:19
I must have at least one visible unit on the board a game start.   Not everything can be hidden or off board it seems.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 04 July 2015, 01:07:58
The Mix plays the "best" of the nineties, two thousands, and today.  They have special formats like:
The Same Stuff Thursday
More of the Same Stuff Monday
Some More of the Same Stuff Saturday
One More Time Wednesday
Two More Times Tuesday
Fed-up with the Format Friday
and Sucktastic Sunday (where they shake things up and play bad songs from the 70s as well - not just disco, but simply the 70s in general).

Sadly, Rick Dees Greatest Hit would be a step up.

All right, but if they start playing Starship, it's time to green light the Davy Crocketts.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 04 July 2015, 01:54:48
All right, but if they start playing Starship, it's time to green light the Davy Crocketts.
You are NOT dissing the 80s are you man?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 04 July 2015, 18:21:09
No, I'm dissing Starship.

They're the most popular band that no one will admit to listening to.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ClarkeMarek on 04 July 2015, 19:50:29
No, I'm dissing Starship.

They're the most popular band that no one will admit to listening to.
 
I listen to Starship. :)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 04 July 2015, 22:02:13
We built Battletech on Rock and Roll.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 06 July 2015, 09:37:35
Just don't play "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. Even if your out numbered 10 to 1.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 06 July 2015, 16:24:24
Just don't play "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. Even if your out numbered 10 to 1.
The best action scene music ever (The Losers - seriously, if you haven't seen this movie, seeing this song in an action scene is worth the price of admission, especially since it features post-Torch/pre-Cap Chris Evans).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 08 July 2015, 09:26:40
The best action scene music ever (The Losers - seriously, if you haven't seen this movie, seeing this song in an action scene is worth the price of admission, especially since it features post-Torch/pre-Cap Chris Evans).

I live in Detroit and Im so tired of hearing that song!!! Every Baseball game, Hockey and any sport even when Detroit is losing, that song comes out. I personally think everytime that song comes on the team loses.

South Detroit......is Windsor, ON or Zug Island (Where the heavy industry and gas fields are and a very horrible smell)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Mech42ace on 12 July 2015, 13:27:33

32: Kai Allard-Liao is not your Waifu
Yori Kurita is. :)

You are not allowed to paint "battlemistress" near the cockpit of your female co's battlemaster nor are you allowed to replace the gauss rifle in the right arm with a chain. If you do go through with this and she likes it, RUN!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 18 July 2015, 03:15:28
I'm not allowed to rearrange the letters on a church's sign to form puns about monkeys again.

"If the Liaos aren't to blame, you're not working hard enough to manufacture evidence" isn't an appropriate work slogan.  Sometimes, we need to blame Comstar.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 20 July 2015, 14:05:16
Or the Word of Blake.

Speaking of, I'm not allowed to use "Atom Bomb Baby" by the Five Stars as a theme song when commanding a Word of Blake force.

I'm also not allowed to nuke the entire map in two turns and blame the opponent for it when commanding a Blakist force. Even if his reaction is priceless.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 20 July 2015, 19:58:14
I am not allowed to cite Paranoia as a viable comparison to the Clan genetics program and thus am not allowed to just claim that the pilot that was killed today will be back tomorrow because he is only on his third clone.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Perigrin on 20 July 2015, 20:44:08
I am no longer allowed to run games of Paranoia with anyone from The Capellan Confederation.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 20 July 2015, 21:30:58
They get all nostalgic on you?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Perigrin on 20 July 2015, 21:38:32
and a bit stab happy

THOU SHALT NOT BESMIRCH URBIE'S GOOD NAME
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 20 July 2015, 23:20:58
Just don't play "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey. Even if your out numbered 10 to 1.

No.  For that I'd play Tesla's Love Song   "Love is all around you...    Love is knocking...     at your front door".   :D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 21 July 2015, 19:47:39
I'm not allowed to replace a Berserker's hatchet with a gigantic rolled up newspaper when fighting the Wolves.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 21 July 2015, 21:25:31
What about the Nova Cats?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 21 July 2015, 21:32:39
Use a Fluid Gun loaded with water.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 23 July 2015, 12:45:41
I'm not allowed to execute Adam Sandler for crimes against humor.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 23 July 2015, 14:07:58
I'm not allowed to execute Adam Sandler for crimes against humor.
..unless their justifiable. Which usually, they are.  >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 27 July 2015, 00:14:55
The problem is that apparently a lot of other people have already tried reserving that right ahead of me.

Coating my mech in Vaseline won't give enemy BA and infantry a penalty to Swarm attacks.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 27 July 2015, 09:43:26
Coating my mech in Vaseline won't give enemy BA and infantry a penalty to Swarm attacks.

I dunno, I'd allow it.

Fair warning: if I'm GMing, you'd only be able to find flammable lubricants. >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 27 July 2015, 15:26:20
Would they also make the unit more mobile in Heavy Urban Terrain?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 28 July 2015, 00:58:07
 :-X
I will not give the evil GM a copy of Grimtooth's traps.

I will especially not mark which ones could probably work on BattleMechs.

If, by some chance, I did either of these, I will not accept a job as a Merc unit investigating
   an old Castle Brian on some backwater(now) world, regardless of how much money (or
   percentage of salvage) is being offered.

 :-X :-\ :-X
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: grimlock1 on 30 July 2015, 18:02:45
I dunno, I'd allow it.

Fair warning: if I'm GMing, you'd only be able to find flammable lubricants. >:D
I've spent the last five minutes but any response I think of treads close to breaking Rule 1
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Khymerion on 30 July 2015, 20:42:46
I have been again informed that this game is supposed to be about mutual fun for all players involved and that I am not to engage in any plan or trap that takes longer to describe the details and contingencies of a death trap or operation than would be acceptable during a standard gaming session length...  even if it is being done outside of game during long commutes.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 30 July 2015, 23:56:43
I'm not allowed to select Psychopomp as my character class.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 31 July 2015, 02:00:50
Calling for fire support and air support is a normal and respectable practice. The time we breached a dam and flooded the valley justified the call for water support. Engineering teams building fortifications might be even construed as earth support. But any attempts to call for "heart support" will be met with an immediate and permanent  loss of radio privileges.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 02 August 2015, 22:21:04
You know, sometimes  read ths thread and think "I would love to be in these people's games."
Sometimes I think "These people scare me, and I should probably be terrified to be in their games."
And, sometimes I think "Wow..these people are amateurs!  I cannot believe the GM really moved that
to a 'Do not.'"

At least when I told one player in my group he was no longer allowed to play a rogue, it was after about
3 years of him making any sort of rogue/thief/shinobi/whathaveyou be so dangerous it hogged the spotlight..
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 02 August 2015, 23:25:13
If that was D&D or Pathfinder, the GM was doing something wrong.  There are so freaking many ways to completely shut down a rogue it's not funny.  I mean, seriously, like 40% of the Monster Manual is immune to sneak attack.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: GreenDragon on 03 August 2015, 05:28:56
If that was D&D or Pathfinder, the GM was doing something wrong.  There are so freaking many ways to completely shut down a rogue it's not funny.  I mean, seriously, like 40% of the Monster Manual is immune to sneak attack.
I've spent an entire module where creatures are immune, attack in a manner that avoids flank, etc.  And just before the module started, two of us bought Outflank (Teamwork Feat) - haven't used it once. 
To make things worse, there are a lot of aquatic encounters.  And my Ifrit Rogue is afraid of water.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 03 August 2015, 11:48:58
A lot of people I played with never realized this, but having any level of concealment at all prevented Sneak Attacks.  A potion of Blur makes you immune.

I'm no longer allowed to play a necromancer/chef.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 03 August 2015, 23:51:48
Evidently, veal and human flesh taste surprisingly similar. I can only imagine the party's reaction when you use the wrong meat, and end up making an undead cow-beast instead of the human zombie you intended to make.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 04 August 2015, 00:44:11
Actually, it's pork and human flesh that taste similar (unsurprising, really, when you consider that pigs are omnivores like humans).  This is why human meat is called "long pig" in some cannibal societies.

But the real issue was what I did at the king's banquet. When necromancer cooks, dinner eats you! >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 05 August 2015, 01:32:29
I'm not allowed to stat out the Titan Class Devastator action figure from the Transformers: Combiner Wars toy line as a map-scale Battletech Unit.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 05 August 2015, 02:43:30
If that was D&D or Pathfinder, the GM was doing something wrong.  There are so freaking many ways to completely shut down a rogue it's not funny.  I mean, seriously, like 40% of the Monster Manual is immune to sneak attack.

AD&D 2nd Edition, and Pathfinder...and would you believe that this guy wasn't using sneak attack, at all?
There are so many other things rogues can do than just sneak attack...and then he got Alchemist levels to
go with it all..
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 05 August 2015, 07:45:29
I'm not allowed to drop kick the "plot" across room with a Griffin Battlemech, splattering her across the wall.
She was Manei Domini-like person, nearly killed entire party on a dead world, she had it coming!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Caedis Animus on 05 August 2015, 14:49:00
Maybe a curb stomp is more acceptable?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 05 August 2015, 19:18:42
Maybe a curb stomp is more acceptable?
Not when she was opening the Griffin's hand actuator barehanded.   :-X
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: grimlock1 on 11 August 2015, 03:54:57
Not when she was opening the Griffin's hand actuator barehanded.   :-X
Was she related to Upariman?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Dead Monky on 11 August 2015, 17:30:39
I decided I can no longer allow my players to determine what their characters find when looting/rummaging through residential areas. Every time I have all they had their characters look for and find was booze, cigarettes, and porno. Every. Single. Time. No matter the game or situation.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 12 August 2015, 22:54:28
I decided I can no longer allow my players to determine what their characters find when looting/rummaging through residential areas. Every time I have all they had their characters look for and find was booze, cigarettes, and porno. Every. Single. Time. No matter the game or situation.

gods i need to play with you, all i ever end up finding is food, bedding and money
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 13 August 2015, 00:17:20
Any time I have a player who wants to obsessively search for something to the point of interfering with the game, I have him find a copy of The Big Book of Killer Jokes.

Chapter One: Exploding Books... >:D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 13 August 2015, 05:12:16
gods i need to play with you, all i ever end up finding is food, bedding and money

And demons...don't forget the demons.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 17 August 2015, 18:07:00
I'm not allowed to paint a WSP up to look like Waspinator.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 17 August 2015, 20:43:52
Allowed?

You're obligated.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ClarkeMarek on 18 August 2015, 00:09:30
Waspinator approves the funny red avatar person's statement.  :)  bzzzzzzt
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 18 August 2015, 00:35:13
(http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/075/f/c/megatron_yes_by_itswalky-d4sxkci.jpg)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 18 August 2015, 01:02:52
Well, in that case I might as well paint a Venom to look like Animated Blackarachnia while I'm at it. :D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 18 August 2015, 01:16:26
The question you must ask yourselves is this:

What is the final form of the Mackie I'm painting right now? [skull]
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 18 August 2015, 04:57:25
I am not allowed to say what immediately came to mind when reading the above post as it might get me banned.    :-[
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 18 August 2015, 21:16:45
I am no longer allowed to suggest that someone write a Gilligan's Island scenario for MLP:FiM

I am also no longer allowed to play out the Black Knight skit with mechs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 19 August 2015, 00:09:56
The correct response to detecting civilian transports is not a full spread of photon torpedoes. The war crimes tribunal does not consider "at least the weren't quantum torpedoes" to be a valid defense.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 19 August 2015, 04:56:16
I am also no longer allowed to play out the Black Knight skit with mechs.

One of my players actually had that happen when fighting a Blakist Buccaneer one time..
It won on one leg.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Dead Monky on 19 August 2015, 07:10:53
I am not allowed to use charge attacks to shove my gf's nearly pristine units off the map edge. Because I don't like being called a "cheap ass bitch" or sleeping on the couch.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 29 August 2015, 00:01:37
I'm not allowed to requisition a Scarecrow when it's time to meet with my landlord to discuss changes to my rent.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 31 August 2015, 09:04:53
I'm not allowed to sing my rendition of o/~ I am coming in like a wrecking ball o/~ when i fire my Heavy Gauss Rifle for the very first time in a double-blind game.  :-X
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 31 August 2015, 11:20:47
I am not allowed to spray the suspected entrance to a wasp nest on a trailer just because one of the suckers dive bombed me while I was mowing the lawn. 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Perigrin on 01 September 2015, 21:43:03
I am not Obligated to modify a Falcon in a campaign game purely for punching, put a melee specialist and master in it, and then run around screaming FALCON PAWNCH at Blakists.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: ClarkeMarek on 01 September 2015, 23:10:07
I'm not allowed to sing my rendition of o/~ I am coming in like a wrecking ball o/~ when i fire my Heavy Gauss Rifle for the very first time in a double-blind game.  :-X

Dear Future Husband/Runaround Sue mashups, otoh, are allowed for interrogation purposes. ;) :)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 01 September 2015, 23:50:12
I am not Obligated to modify a Falcon in a campaign game purely for punching, put a melee specialist and master in it, and then run around screaming FALCON PAWNCH at Blakists.

Yeah, you should do that to the Jade Falcons instead.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 25 October 2015, 15:27:58
I'm not allowed to justify chucking someone's cell phone out of a moving car after listening to five minutes worth of long-debunked conspiracy theories on the grounds that it was a boring conversation anyway.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Weirdo on 25 October 2015, 15:42:15
Very true.

You have to shoot the phone first. :)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 08 November 2015, 01:10:34
"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day" is not a valid explanation.

Especially if the question is "why is there an iguana in my shower?"
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 13 December 2015, 14:07:14
"He had his high-beams on" is not sufficient justification for using a mine dispenser on a tailgater.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: grimlock1 on 24 December 2015, 17:35:30
I am not required to "do something cool with a LAM," each and every time the theme from Robotech comes up on the play list.

Although it seemed to happen an awful lot that day....
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 25 December 2015, 20:44:49
I'm not allowed to say "Comin in like Lyran Wrecking Ball" when i'm piloting a assault 'mech lance against mix demi-company of mediums and lights.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 25 December 2015, 22:31:05
Yeah, the line you're supposed to use is "stand up and be counted, for what you are about to receive."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 26 December 2015, 00:49:49
I thought it was "Be Liberated!" 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: StCptMara on 26 December 2015, 02:27:22
I thought it was "Be Liberated!"

That would be if he was Davion.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Mech42ace on 27 December 2015, 15:34:27
I am certainly not allowed to put christmas lights on my CO's 'mech, no matter how hilarious I think it may be. At any point in time during the year.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 28 December 2015, 00:06:00
along those lines, I'm not allowed to show up at my would be girlfriend's house, in my Atlas, carrying a clump of trees with pre-arranged flowers.   I still don't get why her father, Hanse, was so sore at me for that.   
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 03 January 2016, 03:16:03
"Witness me!" is not a valid WoB battle cry.

Someone taking your assigned parking place even though you actually do pay for it is not grounds for smashing their windows in with a baseball bat.  Taking a can opener to their hood and stealing their hubcaps is enough.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Pat Payne on 05 January 2016, 21:01:47
I am not required to "do something cool with a LAM," each and every time the theme from Robotech comes up on the play list.

Although it seemed to happen an awful lot that day....

Yeah. Because all the truly awesome stuff has to be reserved for when Ai Oboeteimasuka? pops up on the iPod :)

PUROTOKULCHAAAAAA!  ;D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 07 January 2016, 15:30:07
I'm not allowed to try wiping out the Jade Falcons by giving them bird flu again.

Nor may I make further attempts to infect the Wolves with canine distemper.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 07 January 2016, 19:15:37
What about rabies?   :D
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: wolfgar on 07 January 2016, 22:42:49
What about rabies?   :D

We already have it
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 07 January 2016, 22:58:45
And on that topic, I'm no longer allowed to demand to see proof that the Rabid Coyote's pilot has been vaccinated.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 26 February 2016, 20:50:30
Pineapple Surprise is permanently banned from the officer's mess.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: DoctorMonkey on 27 February 2016, 03:40:39
Pineapple Surprise is permanently banned from the officer's mess.


Anti-personnel pop up mines have no place on the modern, "clean" battlefield or officers' dining table
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 28 February 2016, 15:33:00
I am not allowed to sing "Let's get physical" when I'm using TSM-activated Berserker in physical phase.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: DoctorMonkey on 28 February 2016, 19:34:41
I am not allowed to sing "Let's get physical" when I'm using TSM-activated Berserker in physical phase.


"I just wanna get close to you..."?
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 28 February 2016, 23:29:00

"I just wanna get close to you..."?
No, it's the Olivia Newton-John song.  :))
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 06 March 2016, 03:17:31
I'm no longer allowed to name all the mechs in our mercenary company after AC/DC songs.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: grimlock1 on 06 March 2016, 15:37:32
Loud, bad, A Capella renditions of "When the Bodies Hit the Floor," are not welcome at the table. 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 07 March 2016, 23:31:01
I'm no longer permitted to have my character's backstory place them from a neighborhood so rough that "kids would steal the hubcaps off a Typhoon."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: DoctorMonkey on 08 March 2016, 15:42:14
I'm no longer permitted to have my character's backstory place them from a neighborhood so rough that "kids would steal the hubcaps off a Typhoon."


Pah, the Morningstar City Command Vehicle ended up sitting on bricks after pulling up to the lights


In unrelated updates, I am no longer permitted to have the MASH next door to the field kitchen and after a run of amputations offer a nourishing "mystery meat" curry or stew
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: I am Belch II on 14 March 2016, 07:30:14
No playing teen-pop music to get info out of the emery, no matter how good it works.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 14 March 2016, 20:50:33
No painting the Thug 'mech so as to look like it is sagging. 
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 16 March 2016, 17:03:17
I'm no longer allowed to attempt to hack the World of Tanks servers so I can add an Alacorn, Mars, or Gulltoppr.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: DoctorMonkey on 16 March 2016, 17:05:26
I'm no longer allowed to attempt to hack the World of Tanks servers so I can add an Alacorn, Mars, or Gulltoppr.


You are allowed to hack the enemy targeting computers to make them think they are facing Matildas and Panzer Mk IIIs though... when they're actually facing Alacorns, Challenger Xs and Ajax assault tanks


Also having distant BattleMechs register as close-up infantry can be amusing
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 16 March 2016, 19:20:46
I prefer disguising my tanks as outdoor food trucks and kitschy tourist traps (the latter is not exactly inaccurate).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 21 March 2016, 23:50:23
I'm not allowed to claim that my Wasps get attack and defense bonuses vs enemy Spiders and Tarantulas.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 27 March 2016, 22:45:44
I'm no longer allowed to tell my cousin's kids that Easter Eggs come from the Easter Crocodile, which hides under the beds of children who steal its eggs unless they give them to someone else.  My cousin says that that's his job.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 28 March 2016, 20:55:55
I'm not allowed to exchange easter eggs in form of gauss rifles rounds into heads of a Daishi and Kit Fox.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 26 May 2016, 16:28:36
I'm no longer allowed to refer to firing my Penetrator's MPLs as "flashing the enemy."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 26 May 2016, 19:57:42
I'm no longer allowed to sing "Boot To The Head" when conducting a DFA. 

And while my name is Ed, my last name is not Grubberman.   :)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Demon55 on 07 August 2016, 12:49:47
I am no longer allowed to have archers shooting arrows from the top of my Archer while I fire LRMS!
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 07 August 2016, 19:49:38
I am not allowed to say during any of our games any form of PUN such as "I hope this wasn't too PUN-ishing".
They don't think it's very Pun-ny.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 07 August 2016, 21:48:26
Do it too much and there's a strong likelihood of being pun-ched. Especially if you're particularly pun-gent.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: PurpleDragon on 07 August 2016, 21:51:05
Wheh!  What's that smell ?!?   Kinda like someone let a pun go around here.   
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 08 August 2016, 18:48:51
I'm not allowed to have a spheroid dropship named Happy Fun Ball.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 12 February 2018, 00:28:39
I'm no longer allowed to point out Lucifer Aerospace Fighters have no eject system while a fellow RPG player is trying bail out in space. This resulted the plane denigrating around him holding his joy stick and pilot seat entering orbit around planet forever. 

(https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rP-jepWkVf4/V04u8IVhUTI/AAAAAAAAcRA/5BhMAgo_Af8Mhe8vJNVGZItn6JUlUDatwCLcB/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2016-06-01%2Bat%2B01.40.36.png)
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 28 June 2018, 16:30:43
My Hunchback is armed with a Kali Yama Bigbore, not "The Crimenator", and I will remember this fact in my after action reports.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 26 August 2018, 19:15:10
I'm no longer allowed to hide assassins in the statue spell (http://paizo.com/pathfinderRPG/prd/coreRulebook/spells/statue.html#statue).
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Demon55 on 28 August 2018, 14:25:53
I am not allowed to load magazines with the cartridges facing the wrong way.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 28 August 2018, 14:38:51
I'm no longer allowed to refer to my elf pyromancer's party members as "artillery beacons."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 28 August 2018, 22:45:42
I'm no longer allowed to pun excessively. People don't find it very punny.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Demon55 on 29 August 2018, 11:23:27
I am no longer allowed to send my poorly performing subordinates' children out as cannon fodder.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 05 September 2018, 17:46:23
I'm no longer allowed to refer to the Baboon as the Furiously Fast Flaming Fecal Flinger.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 09 September 2018, 12:08:03
Close air support covereth a multitude of sins. That does not excuse breaking into the pilots' ready room for "confession".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Notsonoble on 06 November 2018, 19:13:44
I'm not allowed to to use dragons in powerarmor in starship combat.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 06 November 2018, 19:15:03
I'm not allowed to use a Tempest as my Hauptmann's ashtray.
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 08 November 2018, 00:07:41
I'm not allowed to use the Steiner Variant of the Banshee with the heavy gauss to introduce new players to battletech...especially when i ended up 1-shot headshot killing them... :-X
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: The Mighty ACHOO on 21 November 2018, 12:26:09
I am no longer allowed. Sadly. xp
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: MoneyLovinOgre4Hire on 29 November 2018, 02:11:11
I'm not allowed to call a Hell's Horses vs Ghost Bear fight "Dallas vs Minnesota."
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Fallen_Raven on 01 December 2018, 13:18:41
Despite the hours of calculations to prove its mechanically feasible, the techs will not modify FASCAM munitions to release 2000 bouncy balls as a "non-lethal round".
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: truetanker on 15 December 2018, 01:56:12
I'm not allowed to call a Hell's Horses vs Ghost Bear fight "Dallas vs Minnesota."


Heh...

I'm not allowed to refer such as above as a Bronco's / Colts vs. Da Bears football game, people look at me funny!

TT
Title: Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
Post by: Wrangler on 15 December 2018, 08:09:47
My astech no longer allows me to do Planetary Assault drops when I end up DFA wayward mechs with my 100 ton Thunderhawk, Resulting high repair bill after hidden units mow down my Thunderhawk.  xp