Continuing the review of the lighter brigade from 3085, we have our next article, the Targe - which as a frame is so bad, that even in universe it’s admitted to be a deathtrap and ineffective on all levels. I mean, while the Mjolnir is a bit of a dud, it’s at least a fun concept machine and has neat/cool art. But the Targe fails on all levels. If there was a BattleTech FailBlog, this thing would be on the highlight reel right next to a picture of Hellbie, a Kraken and a blowtorch.
Examining the fluff, we find out that Northwind is now part of the ROTS and Corsara designed this to help expand the fledgling arsenal of the Republic, and more importantly, their profit margin. The entry notes that “the Crab and Black Watch were solid if unspectacular designs†(Copied from the fluff, we all know how awesome the Crab can be) , and that the Targe was to change all that...well, that they did. Market research determined what the RAF needed was speed, a missile system and supporting lasers. The resulting product technically meets these specifications for performing the duties of reconnaissance and counter-recon duties.
Starting with the “high†notes, is the speed. A Pitban 320 Light propels this machine at upwards of 129KPH consistently with a MASC system letting it hit bursts of 172KPH. This is on par with the Cicada for speed and lets it keep a very impressive defensive movement modifier, with MASC engaged a +4 or +5 modifier is quite reasonable. However, a lack of jumping ability does keep this machine ground bound limiting its ability to do its stated job of recon and counter recon, but not insurmountably so, terrain dependant. I find this a little more limiting than others do, so your mileage may vary.
For when the enemy does bother to shoot this thing and the fire actually connects, the “good news†continues, with Valiant Lamellor Special Heavy Ferro-Fibrous. The design team actually made a good choice here and slathered it on somewhat logically. With 67 points of structure the design carries 99 points of armor, so roughly two thirds of maximum based off napkin math written while waiting for a hard drive on Thanksgiving from HP in a comms closet that could be mistaken for a meat locker.. The head is maxed out at 9, the torsos sitting on a 10/14/10 arrangement with all rear locations sporting a 4. Legs carry 15 points. The arms only have 7 points of armor, however, one should note that this is built in a manner similar to the Yeoman or Blitzkreig, they hold nothing but HFF crits - shots that go there only serve to extend your lifespan for a few more seconds, which depending on what you have done to be assigned this “Battleâ€Mech, only makes it worse. It passes the semi smart armor placement test for me at least, as if it falls on its own arse it may not go critical unless something hit it there before the fall.
From this point on I can no longer try to find reasonable positive or sarcastic criticism. Moving on to the offensive mechanisms of this ‘Mech, I can only say that this is a machine for people you wouldn’t give a plastic spork to in fear of them stabbing people. The awe inspiring firepower of this machine is something that would give pause to a 3025 Stinger or Wasp, but that's about it. Starting the “offensive†goodness we have a trio of ER Small Lasers from Diverse Optics, likely donated to get some room in the warehouse back. These are spread evenly across the torso with the biggest punch coming from an MRM10 riding in the right torso. That's right, your maximum reasonably effective range is FOUR hexes. Eight if you’re counting out the Small Lasers. I want to try to give offensive tactics for this machine, to try to find something good for it to do besides clearing minefields (By running through them) , but I *can’t*. It’s that bad. I’m not even sure CASE is an upside, as when the ammo cooks off, you can still repair it vs buying a ‘Mech that’s worth a damn in combat.
Okay, so you’re stuck with having to use this thing in combat, you poor soul. The TRO suggests charging as close as possible to the target, unleashing the volley, popping the MASC and getting the hell out of dodge. And chances are, you’ll do so little damage, if any - the bad guy won’t vaporize you right there for being in such close quarters to him you’ll probably be ignored. This will help your lifespan, but not your ego. In total honesty, you do so little damage, if you connect at all, you usually aren’t worth shooting at.
There is one variant mentioned in TRO3085, which is even more hilarious because it strips out the MRM system for an MML rack, drops the CASE and stores the ammo in the legs. I don’t need to finish writing out its qualifications on any sort of pros or cons because it has a chance of utterly blowing itself up when it wants to go fasta. MASC + Ammo in legs is all that needs to be said. Without an actual record sheet, its hard to go too much into the design so we’ll end it here. But to be frank, MASCed ammo in legs pretty much covers it. There is a Dark Age version which is significantly nicer, but its only existing record sheet is from the Dark Ages book which has had some...odd configs in it, I’m a tad hesitant to touch it at this time.
As to how to actually use this machine in the universe - the best use is as a strategic reconnaissance asset. The guns are anemic and pretty worthless, and should be used only as an emergency measure, or if you feel the need to blow some local cattle into bloody chunks. It will go out and find the things it needs to “kill†and call in friends that can actually kill something. If it is ever engaged in combat, it needs to run for its life, as anything you can probably hit, you can’t kill it. Just run for the hills and call for help.
For the tl;dr crowd: A bad ‘Mech that is so bad, it isn’t even fun as a challenge. Metagame wise, 2/10 for its inability to do any significant damage, small cockpit and overall fail nature. In universe wise, I’ll give it a 5/10 for fluff, as the fluff indicates its a sheer pile of crap. Not even a sheer pile of crap with cool art and a good concept, just an outright pile of fail.
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Due to the forum crash the original article was lost. And with the release of 3085 Cutting Edge, we now have the sheet for the alternate for the Targe. And its actually not as hopeless as I initially thought. While the speed does drop to 7/11[14] The change really helps this machine for the better. The worthless MRM rack is now changed for an Artemis enhanced MML9, and two of the ER Smalls become ER Mediums, with the armor spread being 7 on the vestigal arms, 13 on the side torsos, 15 on the legs, and 15 on the center torso, all rear locations having a fiver. Nine points again covers the noggin. Worrisome is the lack of CASE and the ammo is stored in the legs. A failed MASC check ensures you have a roughly 20% chance of vaporization. Note to ‘Mechwarriors who have been assigned this machine. That toggle switch for Auto-Eject? Toggle it on and then break the switch so it can’t be jostled to off. The guys in charge of training will thank you later.
This version, while still lousy, at least has potential to contribute to the fight and be fun. I’ll rate it 4/10 - Its ‘eh’ at best.
