Author Topic: The Ask Gorky Zubok Column (Read 29019 times)

Tai Dai Cultist · « **Reply #90 on:** 19 February 2013, 23:11:48 »

Gorky, does this look infected?

greatsarcasmo · « **Reply #91 on:** 19 February 2013, 23:17:00 »

Quote from: chanman on 19 February 2013, 22:34:59

A: Is common misunderstanding. Maskirovka override of motor vehicle control give appearance of car in control of driver. Car actually controlled remotely by Maskirovka intern. More accurate to say "In Confederation, Mask take YOU for ride."

I see what you did there, Gorky!

truetanker · « **Reply #92 on:** 19 February 2013, 23:30:48 »

Quote from: chanman on 19 February 2013, 23:10:20

A: Made possible by extreme radiation cause by Third World War.

(skykiss what?)

http://bg.battletech.com/forums/index.php/topic,27020.msg0.html#new

TT O:-)

chanman · « **Reply #93 on:** 19 February 2013, 23:43:47 »

Quote from: Tai Dai Cultist on 19 February 2013, 23:11:48

Gorky, does this look infected?

A: Gorky not doctor. Last time tovarish ask Gorky same question about trench foot. Gorky drink mech coolant. Tovarish drink mech coolant. Gorky amputate foot of comrade with implement of entrenchment. Turn out Gorky drink too much mech coolant. Remove wrong foot from comrade and give tetanus. Real doctor later remove both leg from comrade. Let that be lesson to everyone. Gorky not licensed to perform surgical procedure or provide medical advice.

chanman · « **Reply #94 on:** 20 February 2013, 21:21:53 »

Gorky tell old Maskirovka joke:

Q: How teach old dog new trick?

A: Shoot old dog. Teach new dog new trick.

Tai Dai Cultist · « **Reply #95 on:** 20 February 2013, 22:52:35 »

Gorky, who is the most popular musical artist in the Confederation?

Arkansas Warrior · « **Reply #96 on:** 21 February 2013, 00:22:27 »

Gorky, what is thought on bagpipes? Best music ever, or device of torture even Mask hesitant to use? I hear each as popular opinion.

chanman · « **Reply #97 on:** 21 February 2013, 02:10:43 »

Quote from: Tai Dai Cultist on 20 February 2013, 22:52:35

Gorky, who is the most popular musical artist in the Confederation?

A: In Confederation, music is endeavour of team that work in communal harmony. Most popular team of Confederation is team that Chancellor say is most popular.

Quote from: Arkansas Warrior on 21 February 2013, 00:22:27

Gorky, what is thought on bagpipes? Best music ever, or device of torture even Mask hesitant to use? I hear each as popular opinion.

A: Bagpipe is strange instrument of Highlanders. Not important if instrument of music or cruelty. Only matter is knowing if kontraktniki owner of bagpipe is Davion-killing mercenary that respect contract or treasonous dog of Northwind.

Molossian Dog IIC · « **Reply #98 on:** 21 February 2013, 18:25:47 »

Gorky, font of forbidden knowledge of bad taste, why Davion midget get all girls? Is so small!

Sharpnel · « **Reply #99 on:** 22 February 2013, 04:22:46 »

To explain the satan known as victor one must remember old adage, "Dynamite comes in small packages." That and the little blue pill explian everything.

chanman · « **Reply #100 on:** 23 February 2013, 01:15:18 »

Quote from: Molossian Dog IIC on 21 February 2013, 18:25:47

Gorky, font of forbidden knowledge of bad taste, why Davion midget get all girls? Is so small!

A: Exactly. Is hard to offer girl ride home in battlemech if no room for girl in cockpit. Only small mechwarrior conserve enough cubic volume to make realistic offer of lift.

BirdofPrey · « **Reply #101 on:** 23 February 2013, 01:29:56 »

Gorky, why no just give mech rumble seat quirk?

chanman · « **Reply #102 on:** 23 February 2013, 04:12:41 »

Quote from: BirdofPrey on 23 February 2013, 01:29:56

Gorky, why no just give mech rumble seat quirk?

A: Rumble seat quirk require small pilot trait also. Elemental pilot like used by Clan Ghost Bear need space freed by removal of rumble seat just to fit knees under console of cockpit.

Tai Dai Cultist · « **Reply #103 on:** 23 February 2013, 04:43:33 »

Gorky, what are your thoughts about the Clans' elementals? The Warrior Houses have had 'mech mounted infantry long before the Clans did. AND they did it without 'girly man' crutches like battle armor and omnimechs.

Arkansas Warrior · « **Reply #104 on:** 23 February 2013, 10:12:43 »

Quote from: Tai Dai Cultist on 23 February 2013, 04:43:33

Gorky, what are your thoughts about the Clans' elementals? The Warrior Houses have had 'mech mounted infantry long before the Clans did. AND they did it without 'girly man' crutches like battle armor and omnimechs.

Hmm, you make "girly man" comment to Elemental's face? I not think, see as you still here with the living.

lol

chanman · « **Reply #105 on:** 23 February 2013, 17:10:32 »

Quote from: Tai Dai Cultist on 23 February 2013, 04:43:33

Gorky, what are your thoughts about the Clans' elementals? The Warrior Houses have had 'mech mounted infantry long before the Clans did. AND they did it without 'girly man' crutches like battle armor and omnimechs.

A: Gorky greatly confused by elemental battle armour. Have read multiple dispatches of elemental removing helmet, Combine soldier decapitating elemental with vibro-katana. Elemental design have no protruduing head unit. Maybe case of mis-identification and friendly fire with IS BA?

A: Elemental phenotype hilarious exercise in unintended consequences. Gorky research in to sistema of human kinetics suggest phenotype make poor infantry. Too much mass would destroy joint of elemental that run too much. Too much muscle of upper body limit pack load. Too little fat like athelete of professional league leave elemental with energy reserve like financial system of Davion empire. Would strain logistics to supply infantry unit of elemental phenotype with food and replacement knee surgery. Clan not get memo? Infantry fight with weapon of ranged capability now. Phenotype would make fearsome pikeman of medieval era. Big body no make gun more deadly, no stop laser better than small body of Capellan conscript.

Brian Mattern-Davion · « **Reply #106 on:** 03 March 2013, 22:42:34 »

Gorky, which is best Assault 'Mech for value of C-Bill: Templar, BattleMaster, Highlander, or Flashman?

Also, why Davions never seem to produce beautiful ginger-haired females in ancestral line? Always seem to be ax-crazy blondes or short-haired brunettes...

chanman · « **Reply #107 on:** 03 March 2013, 22:59:06 »

Quote from: Brian Mattern-Davion on 03 March 2013, 22:42:34

Gorky, which is best Assault 'Mech for value of C-Bill: Templar, BattleMaster, Highlander, or Flashman?

A: Flashman not assault mech. Davion Outback hick teacher in travelling school clear not teach basic mech knowledge during your upbringing. After disqualification of Flashman design, Templar omnimech next to discard. Is omnimech create by greedy capitalist to gouge quartermaster on endless list of factory accessory with markup that make Lyran jealous. Also contains XL engine of fat shielding and poor durability and internal layout of crazed madman. Remaining design both of old Star League heritage. Can find answer in centuries of endless argument.

Quote from: Brian Mattern-Davion on 03 March 2013, 22:42:34

Also, why Davions never seem to produce beautiful ginger-haired females in ancestral line? Always seem to be ax-crazy blondes or short-haired brunettes...

A: Gorky not know what planet questioner live on, but Terran cultivar of ginger have flesh of pale yellow and skin of light brown. Blonde not qualify?

Also, royal family of Federated Suns not afford hair dye? Yvonne Steiner Davion have hair of red colouration in Star Corps Dossier and novelizations of writer Stackpole. Only appear with dark hair in Handbook of House Davion.

Arkansas Warrior · « **Reply #108 on:** 06 March 2013, 09:55:15 »

Gorky, which is better delivery system for syrup, pancakes or waffles?

chanman · « **Reply #109 on:** 06 March 2013, 23:44:25 »

Quote from: Arkansas Warrior on 06 March 2013, 09:55:15

Gorky, which is better delivery system for syrup, pancakes or waffles?

A: Best delivery sistema for syrup usually plastic squeeze bottle but sometimes ladle is more efficient in situation of communal indulgence of syrup.

truetanker · « **Reply #110 on:** 08 March 2013, 23:16:14 »

Gorky? A Picture.

Why kitty cat upset? Is not correct connected? Should have payed for capitalist version instead?

TT

chanman · « **Reply #111 on:** 08 March 2013, 23:59:54 »

Quote from: truetanker on 08 March 2013, 23:16:14

Gorky? A Picture.

Why kitty cat upset? Is not correct connected? Should have payed for capitalist version instead?

TT

A: Is elusive photograph of old top-secret program for development of cosmocat. Photograph displays remains of innermost liner of cosmocat suit for pressure regulation. Expression on face of cat is evidence of exposure to experimental oxygen of psychotropic properties.

Brian Mattern-Davion · « **Reply #112 on:** 09 March 2013, 00:09:50 »

Gorky, how tell if wife having affair or agent of DMI?

truetanker · « **Reply #113 on:** 20 March 2013, 21:20:56 »

Gorky, is this russian for Spam?

Looks yummy.
TT

YingJanshi · « **Reply #114 on:** 24 March 2013, 10:49:30 »

Quote from: truetanker on 20 March 2013, 21:20:56

Gorky, is this russian for Spam?

Looks yummy.
TT

Aaaaaand I just lot my lunch...

chanman · « **Reply #115 on:** 24 March 2013, 12:31:11 »

Quote from: Brian Mattern-Davion on 09 March 2013, 00:09:50

Gorky, how tell if wife having affair or agent of DMI?

A: Depends. If you agent of Maskirovka or intelligence service of Combine, wife probably agent and having affair. If you not agent, then wife just having affair.

Quote from: truetanker on 20 March 2013, 21:20:56

Gorky, is this russian for Spam?

Looks yummy.
TT

A: No, is Russian for baby Sarlaac. Delicacy of baby sandworm imported from Draconis world of Akrab. Baby sandworm said to be rich in spice of Akrab world. One can is cost six month stipend of minor noble of Confederation.

nerd · « **Reply #116 on:** 25 March 2013, 14:57:02 »

Gorky, what is the difference between the major and minor nobles of the Confederation?

Arkansas Warrior · « **Reply #117 on:** 25 March 2013, 16:14:33 »

Quote from: truetanker on 20 March 2013, 21:20:56

Gorky, is this russian for Spam?

Looks yummy.
TT

Okay, I gotta ask what that is. At first I was thinking small alligator or crocodile, but the teeth don't look right. Though really they don't look oriented correctly for much of anything.

GreekFire · « **Reply #118 on:** 25 March 2013, 16:59:29 »

It's canned herring. Looks like someone added a salmon head or something by mistake.

chanman · « **Reply #119 on:** 24 April 2014, 02:26:18 »

Quote from: nerd on 25 March 2013, 14:57:02

Gorky, what is the difference between the major and minor nobles of the Confederation?

A: When major noble of Confederation cross Chancellor, major noble have unfortunate accident. When minor noble of Confederation cross Chancellor, minor noble just shot. Conflict resolution much faster with minor noble. Much less insurance policy paperwork.