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Author Topic: Dumbest group you've GMed for  (Read 5377 times)

solmanian

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #30 on: 14 November 2015, 04:15:32 »
Do tell.  :)
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panzerfaust150

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #31 on: 10 August 2016, 15:28:03 »
Hate to necro this..but it's too damn funny not to share:

It was one of my earlier efforts at GMing MechWarrior.

I decided, ok, let's run a small lance-sized Merc lance in the Chaos March. No worries. The group I got together seemed cool, fun, younger but not too insane. They all wanted Firestarters...no big deal..good for killing Cappie guerillas.

Then the stupid starts..I offer several different contracts out there, the one they pick? Security for a forestry operation on Tall Trees. Oh, and did I mention the planetary noble running the operation was cozy with the former FC regime, and had gotten himself into a nasty little conflict with the Zhuang De Guang? Nope? Well, am now. And of course, said noble wants "little collateral damage" (As Archer would say..phrasing). My players did not get the hint..not even when I gave them a counter offer doing anti-infantry work on Caph for the Mariks.

Nope. This contract paid, they said..um, yeah. So, we go to Tall Trees, get the players settled in, and run them through some contacts with the guerillas, who mostly had technical and a lot of SRMs. Easy for the 'Mechs to handle..but while the 'Mechs were on patrol, the guerillas would hit one of the logging camps, and kidnap/kill workers or smash machinery or both. This was really angering the noble, but of course, the patrols had been his idea in the first place.

Well, so the players pull back to the main logging camp where the saw mill is. They are supposedly backed up by some local armor. Like the movie "13 Hours", said locals booked when the guerillas came...and helpfully left their equipment for the guerillas. At this point I was giving the players pointed hints that it was time to grab their employer and run. Nope..they did the one thing they really should not have done. They used their flamers..in the middle of a tinder-dry (it had been a hot summer) virgin forest that was the backbone of the area economy, and the money source of said noble's landhold. An hour later..nothing left but four blackened (but still functional) Firestarters..a barren landscape..and a very, very angry employer.

They did rack up a battalion's worth of guerillas. And, the planetary government of Tall Trees bought up their contract for something more suitable..But that noble never forgot..later on, he hired a company of fast striker mechs to wipe my players out on a contract on Saiph. It was how the game ended, and surprisingly, the players won with some local help. We ended it with the idea of bringing it forward 10 years and doing the adventures of the company..but it was all for naught.
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MrJake

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #32 on: 10 August 2016, 23:00:55 »
During my first trip to Gencon (waaaaaay back when), after getting tickets to the wrong town, propositioned by the perv who gave me a ride to the right one, being awakened in the middle of the night by my luggage floating past my bed in the 18 inches of water that had flooded my room, and a couple of other misadventures, I finally sat down at a big boy table to play some tournament DnD. I was exhausted, broke, and so very, very excited.

We were a chaotic evil party tasked with finding an underground passage into the "Last City of Good," so we could destroy its magic defenses and burn it to the ground. Our first encounter was with a large group of orcs. Our leader ordered an immediate attack. I immediately protested.

"Whoa! Why don't we talk to them first? They may know the way or have other useful information."

"Oh. Okay," replies our fearless leader. "What do you want to let us pass?" he asks their leader.

"A thousand in gold."

Our leader immediately orders an attack.

"Whoa!," I hastily interject. "What's the problem?"

"I don't have a thousand gold pieces."

(At this point, I should have asked how much he had. It did occur to me, but seemed of little importance, so I dismissed it. I really shouldn't have.)

"Well, tell them we'll give them what we have now, and they can have 10,000 when the city falls. Tell them they can have the damned city when we're done with it, if they help us through the tunnels!"

"We don't have the authority to do that."

"So? Lie."

Our leader gets a horrified look on his face.

"We can't just...lie!"

"We're evil! We're chaotic evil! We can do anything we want! It's kinda the definition of chaotic evil. We lie!"

He refuses, but reluctantly agrees to negotiate with the orc chieftain.

At this point, the DM gives a little, sly smile (Oh, do I remember that smile. My players had seen it many times, but this was the first time I'd been in a position to observe it), and says, "Pay me what you think me and my people are worth."

There was maybe a heartbeat of time to change the outcome. Maybe I could have done something. I don't know. It...it happened so fast.

Fearless Leader holds out his hand, opens his fist like he's showing something, and says, "Two copper pieces."

The DM laughed out loud while reaching for the dice, Fearless Leader looked confused ("What?" he said. "It's all I have!"), my forehead hit the tabletop a couple of times, and the totally unnecessary combat began.

Yeah...we didn't advance to the next round.

 
 
« Last Edit: 10 August 2016, 23:07:18 by MrJake »

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #33 on: 10 August 2016, 23:16:49 »
That's why I hate evil parties, they're almost always an excuse to be a dumbass because that's "evil."

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Nuclear-Fridge

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #34 on: 11 December 2017, 07:38:38 »
Oh boy. There was one player in my old MechWarrior RPG campaign who was that suicidal gopher. There's a particular stand-out scene he was involved in... It was during a battle against a bunch of pirates that had a 3025-tech Pillager; a 100 ton assault machine that packed twin AC/20s. He was using a 75-ton Black Knight. He decided to take on the Pillager, mainly for the bragging rights.

So he marched his 'Mech up to 3 hexes range and halted in front of the Pillager. He was getting huge chunks of his 'Mech blown off, the other players were telling him to get out of there and let them hammer the Pillager with their LRMs, but he kept refusing. He was sure to score a critical hit any moment and...

After the battle, there was almost nothing left of the Black Knight above the waist. His pilot, having had to eject, marches up to the unit's Chief Tech and started pestering him to start repair work on his machine first. I can clearly remember the guy's offended look when I - playing the unit's Chief Tech - told him there was no ****ing point. His 'Mech was toast.

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #35 on: 25 December 2017, 16:43:49 »
I GM'ed Paranoia once.

Once.

Half the party did not make it out of the initial briefing room.

As in ran through all of their clones before the briefing was complete.

It was insane.

Yeah ... I knew where this was going when you said you'd GM'd Paranoia. The game is designed to where this is a favorable outcome :)

I never really had "dumb" groups, but some who were varying flavors of insane. One time I was running a group through Castle Greyhawk, and they had had a benefactor who wanted them to retrieve a McGuffin from the famed fortress. I'd played him as "generic upper-class jackass", and one of the PCs decided he was evil and trying to lead them to their deaths. So he went in and assassinated the guy. (I rolled with it and made the guy into a memorable illusionist villain who came back to haunt the party throughout the campaign). This campaign also had one of the most epically hilarious character entrances and exits -- one player whose character had bit the big one wanted to do a tinker gnome, which are from the Forgotten Realms. He gave me a backstory that was just too good to not allow -- his character was trying to perfect the ultimate tomato-soup making machine. He entered with an explosion as one try failed -- and when he wanted to retire the character, we pulled a prank on the other players, by my making sounds of a large number of machine noises, followed by a large KABOOM! The other players, having no idea what was going on, came into a room filled with a burnt spot and a LOT of red liquid. For a time they were mourning the death, until someone decided to investigate the liquid. It was tomato soup.. and pretty good soup too! :D

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #36 on: 25 December 2017, 17:37:57 »
That reminds me of some of the shenanigans my Planescape group got into.

To give you some idea, my character was a tiefling wildmage who's nickname by the rest of the party was "Friendly Fire."

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Deadborder

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #37 on: 31 December 2017, 05:37:21 »
Disclaimer: This story occurred over twenty years ago, so my recollection might be a little gappy. Take whatever’s said here with a grain of salt.

So I had just inherited a MechWarrior 2nd Ed group from another GM somehow. Unfortunately, this GM was… crap, to say the least. Basically he was rather spineless, let the players walk all over him and had handed out copious amounts of loot to them for very little investment on their part. It also didn’t help that he didn’t know the rules very well. Clearly, things were going to change.

I began with a complete reboot of the game; clean slate, new characters, new everything. After a bit of grumbling, I got the new player characters. Two of them were troubling, in that not only were they identical, but they were also rather min-maxed. However, I did dismiss this a little, given that they had opted to only pilot light BattleMechs. Yeah, they’d made their giant kill-bot their dump stat. So that did seem to pass. Or so I thought.

As I was getting ready for the first mission brief, they dropped their bombshell. They were going to use their ‘Mechs to rob a casino, and with the money they got, buy bigger ‘Mechs.

I admit that I didn’t do too much to try to talk them down from it. Rather I accepted it, got out some mapsheets and record sheets and went to work. The other players wisely chose to back out of this, simply because they knew that there was no way this was ending well. After all, stomping through a city and cracking open a casino with a giant kill-bot is pretty grossly illegal, no matter where you are.

Meanwhile, Oceans Two were walking through town, and had attracted a lot of attention from the authorities. After a little bit of skirmishing with infantry and light APCs, the cops called for backup, in the form of two UrbanMechs. At first, the players laughed this off, after all, it was but the humble Urbie. Then one of them took a shot to the head, nearly killing them in a single hit. That changed their tone, leaving them panicking and running.

Player One tried to make a dash for it, only to be shot in the back by an Urbie. This took out his gyro, immobilising his ‘Mech and leaving him completely helpless. Player two, in the meantime, decided that with his newly air-conditioned cockpit, he would be best off getting as far away from the trouble as possible. After all, it would only take another two points of damage to the head to kill him utterly dead.

Unfortunately for him, he instead became a victim of Battletech physics. Player 2 was so afraid of being ventilated that he was willing to run that risk. The inevitable happened, and he skidded and fell, ramming head-first into the side of a building, crushing him to death.

That building, by the way, was the Casino.

So of our two would-be criminal geniuses, one was dead and another was in prison. The other two PCs denied all knowledge of them and their activities, and planned to leave the jailbird behind. Instead, the campaign kind of fell apart, and never even got to what I had planned for Session One.

Not that big a loss, really.
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Black_Knyght

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #38 on: 31 December 2017, 15:54:15 »
In our ongoing CBT/AToW campaigns we had a player (I'll call him "Bob") who'd made a dumb decision, then threw an even dumber tantrum, and ultimately quit when it blew up in his face.

Our GM had us running as part of a low level merc company, and "Bob" was chosen to be our original unit commander. We'd been tasked with hunting down a particularly ruthless and devious group of pirates that had been raiding several LC worlds along the Periphery border. We'd encountered them briefly twice before, but the GM had them cleverly make their escape each time. We finally caught them in a rugged canyon, and quickly discovered our 12 mech were outnumbered by 16 of theirs.

It would've been a tough fight, but we believed we could win it, but then suddenly "Bob" decided to personally challenge the pirate leader to single combat! He offered to let them go if they won, but said they'd have to surrender to us if he won.

EVERYONE thought that "Bob" was insane and that this was a BAD idea but he insisted and pressed his plan with the GM, who let him play it out. "Bob" then agreed to let the pirates withdraw and set a place to square off against the pirate leader.  "Bob" then took his mech ALONE further into the canyon to duel with the pirate leader at the agreed upon place. Role-playing it out we let him go ahead, but we prepared to cover "Bob" as best we could all the same. "Bob" and the pirate leader then squared off, and a few rounds after the duel began ALL of the pirates popped out from hidden positions and opened up on "Bob" simultaneously.

Rather than try to withdraw towards us under covering fire "Bob" chose instead to close with the pirate leader, hoping to take him down and force the pirates to surrender. Despite everything we kept telling "Bob" he insisted they'd honor the agreement if he won. Instead "Bob" got blasted and his mech exploded, killing his character. In the aftermath we took a few more losses, and the pirates managed to escape again having badly bloodied us and killed our leader.

"Bob" got pissed that the pirates "cheated", and that his character had been killed as a result. When the GM offered to let him create a new character as a replacement "Bob" got pissed and in a tantrum packed up and quit the group. He berated the GM for not letting him play out his plan the way HE'd wanted it to go, saying he knew he could beat the pirate if the GM hadn't "cheated".

It sucked losing a player, but ultimately "Bob" wasn't that miss in the end...

MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #39 on: 31 December 2017, 16:33:07 »
He sounds kinda like a guy I played D&D 3.5 Edition with years ago.  "Dave" was the king of bad decisions, but the rest of the party would always bail him out.

First of all, he was playing a Wizard/Monk, two classes that don't benefit from multiclassing at all.  He'd started as a Wizard, then switched over to Monk at level 3, robbing himself of a major jump in spellcasting power.  And, of course, this build meant that charisma was the only stat he could afford to have a bad score in, so distributing his points between the other five meant that none of them were actually that high.

So we're at a point where this pirate captain and his crew ambush us: we were trying to cross a bay in a small boat and they showed up at the docks to extort money from us.  We were busy negotiating with them, and doing relatively well since we had a couple of characters with good diplomatic skills in the party.  The GM had also hinted that the dock guards had been alerted and were on their way.  But then "Dave" decides that "negotiations are pointless" and attacks.

He immediately charges the Pirate Captain, and gets shot repeatedly because we were outnumbered almost 3 to 1 and they had crossbows ready and aimed at us.  His AC was just high enough to prevent them from getting too many successful hits in, but then he was surrounded by the pirates.  I was playing a Dwarven Defender and chopped my way through the pirate lines until I was standing next to him, giving us a tactically sound position where we could take on the pirates without being flanked, since our backs were to the boat.  And what does he do at that point?

He jumps back into the boat, leaving me all alone.  Well, I was the toughest and most heavily armored character in the party, so I knuckled down and started chopping away with my axe- wasn't likely to win the fight even with the support of the other characters, but I personally took out about half the pirates and did serious damage to the leader since every time I killed a pirate I used my Cleave feat to get a free hit against him.  Meanwhile, "Dave" spent three rounds cowering in the back of the boat behind the bard, rogue and cleric, ineffectively casting his first level spells.  Then the dock guards arrived and arrested the remaining pirates.

The next week, I saw "Dave" in the local comic book store, and he proceeded to tell me about the previous week's game: the incredible story about how he totally saved the whole party from the evil DM's trap and singlehandedly took on on the pirates without any backup from the rest of the party.

I looked him in the eyes and reminded him that I was one of the players in that game and that the session had consisted of the rest of the party saving his sorry behind in a fight that he'd started then ran and hid from. He turned an interesting shade of purple at that point.

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Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

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YingJanshi

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #40 on: 31 December 2017, 16:38:00 »
In our ongoing CBT/AToW campaigns we had a player (I'll call him "Bob") who'd made a dumb decision, then threw an even dumber tantrum, and ultimately quit when it blew up in his face.

Our GM had us running as part of a low level merc company, and "Bob" was chosen to be our original unit commander. We'd been tasked with hunting down a particularly ruthless and devious group of pirates that had been raiding several LC worlds along the Periphery border. We'd encountered them briefly twice before, but the GM had them cleverly make their escape each time. We finally caught them in a rugged canyon, and quickly discovered our 12 mech were outnumbered by 16 of theirs.

It would've been a tough fight, but we believed we could win it, but then suddenly "Bob" decided to personally challenge the pirate leader to single combat! He offered to let them go if they won, but said they'd have to surrender to us if he won.

EVERYONE thought that "Bob" was insane and that this was a BAD idea but he insisted and pressed his plan with the GM, who let him play it out. "Bob" then agreed to let the pirates withdraw and set a place to square off against the pirate leader.  "Bob" then took his mech ALONE further into the canyon to duel with the pirate leader at the agreed upon place. Role-playing it out we let him go ahead, but we prepared to cover "Bob" as best we could all the same. "Bob" and the pirate leader then squared off, and a few rounds after the duel began ALL of the pirates popped out from hidden positions and opened up on "Bob" simultaneously.

Rather than try to withdraw towards us under covering fire "Bob" chose instead to close with the pirate leader, hoping to take him down and force the pirates to surrender. Despite everything we kept telling "Bob" he insisted they'd honor the agreement if he won. Instead "Bob" got blasted and his mech exploded, killing his character. In the aftermath we took a few more losses, and the pirates managed to escape again having badly bloodied us and killed our leader.

"Bob" got pissed that the pirates "cheated", and that his character had been killed as a result. When the GM offered to let him create a new character as a replacement "Bob" got pissed and in a tantrum packed up and quit the group. He berated the GM for not letting him play out his plan the way HE'd wanted it to go, saying he knew he could beat the pirate if the GM hadn't "cheated".

It sucked losing a player, but ultimately "Bob" wasn't that miss in the end...

I...what? Pirates cheat, it's just what they do. I'd have been surprised if the GM hadn't had the pirates cheat. (Actually I was expecting the duel area to be mined or something... :D )

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MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #41 on: 31 December 2017, 16:57:49 »
One wonders what "Bob's" plan would have been in the event that the Pirate Captain showed up in a Daishi or something.

Our Officer's Club is better than your Officer's Club.

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Black_Knyght

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Re: Dumbest group you've GMed for
« Reply #42 on: 31 December 2017, 18:08:07 »
Yeah, EVERYBODY thought "Bob"s idea was moronic, but he was ridiculously stubborn about it and felt the pirates would respect a show of force and will. OF COURSE pirates cheat, and they had before when they managed to escape us! "Bob" just couldn't grasp that concept though.

I personally figured they'd mine the area too, or cause an avalanche or something. It wasn't a big shock that they'd somehow chosen to flee down the canyon for a reason, or knew how to conceal themselves in it.
« Last Edit: 31 December 2017, 18:09:41 by Black_Knyght »