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Author Topic: 2016-01-19 A Cold Collaboration [Jason Hansa]  (Read 1799 times)

roosterboy

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2016-01-19 A Cold Collaboration [Jason Hansa]
« on: 19 January 2016, 07:25:49 »
"We're happy with what the Clan chose for us."

In hiding on Bensinger, the survivors of the Twelfth Star Guard's Seventh Regiment must decide whether to fight the merciless Black Crusader and flee the planet or decide to become part of Clan Jade Falcon.

« Last Edit: 19 January 2016, 19:23:04 by roosterboy »

Mendrugo

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Re: 2016-01-19 A Cold Collaboration [Jason Hansa
« Reply #1 on: 19 January 2016, 11:33:10 »
I've really been enjoying the recent series of works detailing the post-Tukayyid period of adjustment in the Inner Sphere.  "A Cold Collaboration" was no exception, and provided excellent character work and world-building.

A question, though - on P. 13, it makes reference to a Mauler purchased from the Lyran Alliance having problems with its auto-eject system.  Shouldn't that be a Daboku purchased from the Draconis Combine, since the Daboku was the one with the auto-eject problem, later corrected in the Mauler?  (Not to mention the Lyran Alliance wouldn't exist as a political entity for another five years, and not manufacturing Maulers in any event)
« Last Edit: 19 January 2016, 11:36:05 by Mendrugo »
"We have made of New Avalon a towering funeral pyre and wiped the Davion scourge from the universe.  Tikonov, Chesterton and Andurien are ours once more, and the cheers of the Capellan people nearly drown out the gnashing of our foes' teeth as they throw down their weapons in despair.  Now I am made First Lord of the Star League, and all shall bow down to me and pay homa...oooooo! Shiny thing!" - Maximillian Liao, "My Triumph", audio dictation, 3030.  Unpublished.

Frabby

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Re: 2016-01-19 A Cold Collaboration [Jason Hansa
« Reply #2 on: 19 January 2016, 11:42:55 »
The Daboku had Mauler as its AFFS reporting name. It may conceivably have been called Mauler right from the onset by LCAF and AFFS (first deployed in the War of 3039).
The distinction between Daboku and Mauler is an artificial effort by LAW, to free the Mauler from the stigma attached to the abysmal failure that was the Daboku. Which basically amounted to jumping on the AFFS/LCAF bandwagon with the reporting name.

The Mauler frame famously featured prominently in the BattleTech Cartoon, and the 1st Somerset Strikers sourcebook canonically clarified that Adept Merle Jimmus made a "less than accurate" report in her first TRO treatment of this 'Mech, TRO:3050, and that significant numbers had even been captured in the War of 3039.

Lyran Alliance... well, perhaps that's a short for "The Lyran part of the Federated Commonwealth Alliance".  ::)
« Last Edit: 19 January 2016, 11:46:56 by Frabby »
Author of the BattleCorps stories Feather vs. Mountain, Rise and Shine, Proprietary, Trial of Faith & scenario Twins
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Mendrugo

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Re: 2016-01-19 A Cold Collaboration [Jason Hansa
« Reply #3 on: 19 January 2016, 11:51:49 »
The Mauler frame famously featured prominently in the BattleTech Cartoon, and the 1st Somerset Strikers sourcebook canonically clarified that Adept Merle Jimmus made a "less than accurate" report in her first TRO treatment of this 'Mech, TRO:3050, and that significant numbers had even been captured in the War of 3039.

Yeah, the Daboku entry in the XTRO was a glorious in-joke for the cartoon toyline, since the Mauler toy was featured in the commercials getting hit on a button in its crotch region and having the head pop off while the kids playing with it yell "Battle Damage!!!"  (Even better, the preface has the Mauler being surrounded at point-blank range by three Hunchback IICs - the deadliest in-fighters available, while the Mauler is a long-range support unit, and the announcer declares "You're surrounded, what do you do?"  My answer - wet yourself and stop using contractions.)
"We have made of New Avalon a towering funeral pyre and wiped the Davion scourge from the universe.  Tikonov, Chesterton and Andurien are ours once more, and the cheers of the Capellan people nearly drown out the gnashing of our foes' teeth as they throw down their weapons in despair.  Now I am made First Lord of the Star League, and all shall bow down to me and pay homa...oooooo! Shiny thing!" - Maximillian Liao, "My Triumph", audio dictation, 3030.  Unpublished.

five_corparty

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Re: 2016-01-19 A Cold Collaboration [Jason Hansa
« Reply #4 on: 19 January 2016, 19:02:08 »
I've really been enjoying the recent series of works detailing the post-Tukayyid period of adjustment in the Inner Sphere.  "A Cold Collaboration" was no exception, and provided excellent character work and world-building.

A question, though - on P. 13, it makes reference to a Mauler purchased from the Lyran Alliance having problems with its auto-eject system.  Shouldn't that be a Daboku purchased from the Draconis Combine, since the Daboku was the one with the auto-eject problem, later corrected in the Mauler?  (Not to mention the Lyran Alliance wouldn't exist as a political entity for another five years, and not manufacturing Maulers in any event)

Well, CRAP, I looked at this story a MILLION times and missed that. -sigh-  :-[

Anywhoo, I can't remember the references, but I saw the LCAF (they weren't really the AFFC then, yet) got a bunch during the war of 3039 and they weren't particularly well liked, and I -swear- I saw something about Maulers on the Merc market, so I pieced that together.  As the 12th SG was in the AFFC employ, I figured they'd used that name for it.  I did go back and forth, though, my first draft had it as Dabuku, can't remember the exact source that made me change it.

I made the nod to the thing about the "ejection" and such by having Bouncer remove the capability, which also gave me a convenient way to kill him.   ;)

I'm glad you liked the world building- it put me WAAAY over on words, but I felt it was an important part of the story.
« Last Edit: 19 January 2016, 19:03:53 by five_corparty »
"Inside the Army, we squabble about which part of the Army gets the most stuff.  After a while, some really important general comes down and tells us to knock it off and 'cooperate.' If we don’t, the bad people will whack us and even the Air Force won’t be able to bail us out. This is called 'combined arms.' "  FM 3-0 Operations (Simple Version: "Doctrine for Dummies")

Atlas3060

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Re: 2016-01-19 A Cold Collaboration [Jason Hansa]
« Reply #5 on: 20 January 2016, 10:28:15 »
As someone who is trying to write, I got to say that world building is important.
So the sacrifice is well worth it as a reader.
I just finished reading it and overall I liked the story.
It shows not only what people will do to survive, but also what mercs will do for their most important things.
Kerensky: Ahh! After 300 years I'm free! It's time to conquer Terra!

Blake: Toyama-5, Kerensky's escaped. Recruit 5 House Teens with attitudes.

GO GO COMSTAR RANGERS! *Guitar Riff*
--Intercepted transmissions from children's programming on Terra 3057

five_corparty

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Re: 2016-01-19 A Cold Collaboration [Jason Hansa]
« Reply #6 on: 21 January 2016, 01:21:52 »
I posted a long note about some of the development and writing of this story under "novels and sourcebook reviews" (or at this link: http://bg.battletech.com/forums/index.php?topic=50800.0

 :)
"Inside the Army, we squabble about which part of the Army gets the most stuff.  After a while, some really important general comes down and tells us to knock it off and 'cooperate.' If we don’t, the bad people will whack us and even the Air Force won’t be able to bail us out. This is called 'combined arms.' "  FM 3-0 Operations (Simple Version: "Doctrine for Dummies")

CungrVanck

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Re: 2016-01-19 A Cold Collaboration [Jason Hansa]
« Reply #7 on: 23 January 2016, 12:36:02 »
This was a very well done story.  It didn't focus on Ristars or nobility, but your average Clan and Merc individuals trying to make their way in the world.  Really made the Clans seem more human and flexible than they usually appear in fiction.

Well done!

snakespinner

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Re: 2016-01-19 A Cold Collaboration [Jason Hansa]
« Reply #8 on: 25 January 2016, 23:36:19 »
I like how you used Paula Stillson from Wilson's Hussars fame.
She looked independent minded in her right up, and I enjoyed seeing what had happened to her. O0
I wish I could get a good grip on reality, then I would choke it.
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