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Author Topic: You won't believe these weird tricks that render you immune to all moderation!  (Read 2115 times)

worktroll

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[#7 may be physically impossible!]



People often ask me, "Worktroll, how can I render myself immune to being moderated for any and all possible offenses?"

Okay, perhaps not often. But it's happened at least once, and you can't prove otherwise. Perhaps one wishes to cast spells on another user. This is a laudable goal! And yet, it is all too likely that this would draw the attention of some dread hamfisted tyrant. So how can one escape this oppression?

Listen, and I shall explain.

First, you must determine which system of law the forum you are using is... using. For this, you need to examine the edges of their flag. Gold fringe means that it runs on admiralty law. Bronze fringe indicates that a forums rules are governed by the Westernport Bay Charter of 1691. Green fringe indicates that the forum employs the Code of the Druids, and black fringe shows that it is bound by the dread prophecies of the Tome of Tactical Operations.

This indicates your strategy!

If admiralty law is employed, the most key element is to make sure that nobody can prove that you're a boat. If you have oars, hide them! Cover up any calk and barnacles with a large trenchcoat. Because their law applies only to boats, so they'll look pretty darn foolish when your boatness is hidden behind a massive set of Groucho Glasses. Also, if you are wearing any tarps that bear the words "I am definitely a boat for real", you should remove them.

If the Westernport Bay Charter is the relevant law, then you must make absolutely certain to post while wearing a black hat and a white ruffle. All sentences expressing your argument must end in "... as has been willed, where what is willed, must be." It is also advisable to refrain from profane dancing and sleeping during BattleChats, as those are often bannable offenses on such a forum.

If your forum is run by Druids, then you must at all times appeal to the relevant moderator's neutrality. They're crazy about that! Not only will none of the other druids take them seriously without it. Also, if their alignments are found to have changed, they could be penalized for up to 20% of all future XP! Always craft your arguments to suggest that any neutral and unbiased judge would find your case to be valid, and so that any disagreement with you is proof of an unfavored alignment. Also, a gift of holly and mistletoe never goes amiss.

Should Tactical Operations be the rule of the day, always remember your right to demand trial by combat! You and the relevant moderator will be placed within an adamantine cage with openings roughly 5x5 inches. This cage will slowly be lowed into the 'Mech Marten pit of the Ombudsman. Meanwhile, you and your enemy must do battle with the scimitars you have been presented with. Make certain to employ both scimitars at all times! Failure to do so will result in immediate disqualification.

Finally, you may be saying at this point, "What flag? I don't see any flag! None of this otherwise remarkably useful advice can help me!" You are mistaken! Every forum has a flag. But, so no ordinary people can get out of the grip of their dark authority, most forum administrators choose to hide their flags. Don't be taken in! Look everywhere! Maybe they hid their flag in a six-year-old post in Off-Topic! Maybe it's in footnote seven of the Rules!

Keep looking for that flag until you find it.

* No, FASA wasn't big on errata - ColBosch
* The Housebook series is from the 80's and is the foundation of Btech, the 80's heart wrapped in heavy metal that beats to this day - Sigma
* To sum it up: FASAnomics: By Cthulhu, for Cthulhu - Moonsword
* Because Battletech is a conspiracy by Habsburg & Bourbon pretenders - MadCapellan
* The Hellbringer is cool, either way. It's not cool because it's bad, it's cool because it's bad with balls - Nightsky
* It was a glorious time for people who felt that we didn't have enough Marauder variants - HABeas2, re "Empires Aflame"

ClarkeMarek

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  :o   ???  :P  [blank]  #P  :Jumpy: [wildandcrazy] :idiot2: :crazy2:
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Five rounds, rapid!

worktroll

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 :worktroll:
* No, FASA wasn't big on errata - ColBosch
* The Housebook series is from the 80's and is the foundation of Btech, the 80's heart wrapped in heavy metal that beats to this day - Sigma
* To sum it up: FASAnomics: By Cthulhu, for Cthulhu - Moonsword
* Because Battletech is a conspiracy by Habsburg & Bourbon pretenders - MadCapellan
* The Hellbringer is cool, either way. It's not cool because it's bad, it's cool because it's bad with balls - Nightsky
* It was a glorious time for people who felt that we didn't have enough Marauder variants - HABeas2, re "Empires Aflame"

rebs

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I welcome this influx of mirth! 

False Son

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Not one mention of Bird Law.
TOYNBEE IDEA
IN MOViE `2001
RESURRECT DEAD
ON PLANET JUPITER


Destroy what destroys you

Weirdo

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Not one mention of Bird Law.

As I recall, that is one of the tenets of Bird Law.
"Thanks to Megamek, I can finally play BattleTech the way it was meant to be played--pantsless!"   -Neko Bijin
"It's just that the Hegemony had one answer to every naval problem. 'I kills it with my battleships.'" - Liam's Ghost
"...finally, giant space panties don't seem so strange." - Whistler
"The BT universe is startlingly deficient in both wisdom and hindsight." - Cray
"Damn you, Weirdo... Damn you for being right!" - Paul
There's no shame in designing customs, so long as you keep them private and wash your hands afterwards.

Mech42ace

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As I recall, that is one of the tenets of Bird Law.
Outside of HPG range...  Beyond known space... no one can hear you [squawk].
At Comstar we listen. It's that simple.

ColBosch

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As a Sovereign Poster, I don't recognize that authority has been placed in the hands of the Moderators over me. I am not a signatory to the Forum Rules, and thus am not bound by them.
BattleTech is a huge house, it's not any one fan's or "type" of fans.  If you need to relieve yourself, use the bathroom not another BattleTech fan. - nckestrel
1st and 2nd Succession Wars are not happy times. - klarg1
Check my Ogre Flickr page! https://flic.kr/s/aHsmcLnb7v and https://flic.kr/s/aHsksV83ZP

Weirdo

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As a Sovereign Poster, I don't recognize that authority has been placed in the hands of the Moderators over me. I am not a signatory to the Forum Rules, and thus am not bound by them.

That means you're not protected by them either... ^-^

"Thanks to Megamek, I can finally play BattleTech the way it was meant to be played--pantsless!"   -Neko Bijin
"It's just that the Hegemony had one answer to every naval problem. 'I kills it with my battleships.'" - Liam's Ghost
"...finally, giant space panties don't seem so strange." - Whistler
"The BT universe is startlingly deficient in both wisdom and hindsight." - Cray
"Damn you, Weirdo... Damn you for being right!" - Paul
There's no shame in designing customs, so long as you keep them private and wash your hands afterwards.

ColBosch

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Ah-ha, but you're bound by them! See, it's the best of both worlds.

...and gross, man.
BattleTech is a huge house, it's not any one fan's or "type" of fans.  If you need to relieve yourself, use the bathroom not another BattleTech fan. - nckestrel
1st and 2nd Succession Wars are not happy times. - klarg1
Check my Ogre Flickr page! https://flic.kr/s/aHsmcLnb7v and https://flic.kr/s/aHsksV83ZP

The Mighty ACHOO

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I do not worry about moderation. I don't believe in doing anything to moderation. Also I have had my immunizations shots.  }:)
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

 

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