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Author Topic: The Underground (Slightly Aromatic and Somewhat Moist) Lair Of The Mighty Achoo!  (Read 31661 times)

The Mighty ACHOO

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Ahhhh, my new lair is finished! New throne, new walls, a roof (again! Yay!) over my throne, new exhaust fans converted from a Karnov transport, and on nobody's travel guide! (How that happened for the old one I will probably never know.)

Nice wall of TV's, a snack bar, a bar, a salad bar and a kitchenette! And I am the only one here! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

Sharpnel

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And not a Wombat in sight
Takehiro 'Taco' Uchimiya, SHD-2H Shadow Hawk 'Taco', Crimson Oasis Trading Company
Tai-i Shizuko Lofgren, Third Infantry Company, Oniwaka
Cassius Bello, SDR-9K Venom 'Cassius', Kowalski's Borderers

"Of what use is a dream, if not a blueprint for courageous action" -Adam West
It's an Omni, so I can build it into whatever I please - JHB
"Life is too short to be living someone else's dream" - Hugh Hefner

trboturtle

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  • Now what?
*Looks at watch.*

I would give Wombat less than 24 hours before he runs through here..... BTW, Achoo.... are those fleas glowing?

Craig
Author of the BattleCorps Stories -- "The Lance Killer," "Hikagemono," "Negotiation," "Snipe Hunt," "Groundpounder," "The Clawing," "Salvage," "The Promise," "Reap What You Sow," "Color of Authority," "Family Ties," "The Blood of Man," "End of Message," "Heroes' Bridge," "Kurodenkou," "Thirteen," "My Father's Sword," "Evacuation," "Warrior's Song," "Operation Red Lion," "A Matter of Honor," "State of Grace," "Operation Blue Tiger," "A Warrior's Fear," "Shadow Angels," "Murphy's Method," and the Legacy Anthology story, "End of the Road." (Nominated for the International Association of Media Tie-In Writers 2019 Scribe awards for Best Short Story.)

My Blogs!
Battletech:  http://thebattletechstate.blogspot.com/
Other writings: http://trboturtleswritings.blogspot.com/

The Mighty ACHOO

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Nope. They are not fleas.   O:-)
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

BirdofPrey

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OH YEAH
*BoP busts into the newly refurbished lair.*

Hey, If I didn't do it, Wombat would have, or the paramedics.
On a side note, why did I read the title as "slightly achromatic"?

Wrangler

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*Wrangler waltzes in*  Hey hey hey, the bar all restocked and everything!  What kinda loan did you get be able afford these digs, Achoo?
« Last Edit: 03 February 2017, 14:08:24 by Wrangler »
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

Sharpnel

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Nope. They are not fleas.   O:-)
Then they must be...ticks. Hopefully, they are not of the large and blue variety.
Takehiro 'Taco' Uchimiya, SHD-2H Shadow Hawk 'Taco', Crimson Oasis Trading Company
Tai-i Shizuko Lofgren, Third Infantry Company, Oniwaka
Cassius Bello, SDR-9K Venom 'Cassius', Kowalski's Borderers

"Of what use is a dream, if not a blueprint for courageous action" -Adam West
It's an Omni, so I can build it into whatever I please - JHB
"Life is too short to be living someone else's dream" - Hugh Hefner

BirdofPrey

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SPOOOOOON

Wombat

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".....aaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

*splat!*

[Wombat appears to have fallen through the outer protective shield, through the ferro-aluminum armor, and through the ceiling tile and landed in the middle of the lair, impaled from an in-flight accident on what appears to be the nose cone off a Stuka aerospace fighter. The markings along the nose cone (along with the fudge on Wombat's mouth, indicate...well really nothing, but does distract somewhat from the several dozen empty boxes of extra-strength Imodium dangling out of Wombat's pouch.]

"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

The Mighty ACHOO

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*sigh*  {presses the button to have the actual bunker roof rolled into place]

You're late. You can hose off over there.
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

Wombat

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[Wombat unzips his marsupial suit and has a seat on a bench while the marsupial suit waddles over to a shower and begins bathing itself. Seductively. Music begins to play from Wombat's pouch. A few asian goldfish float out of the shower drain and begin dancing with the marsupial suit. Wombat points at them and giggles.]

"I know that fish. It's name is Yu. The marsupial suit picks up the fish and won't put it down."

**everyone begins to groan as Rick Astley plays out of Wombat's pouch**
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

Sharpnel

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We're being rick-rolled by a irksome marsupial
Takehiro 'Taco' Uchimiya, SHD-2H Shadow Hawk 'Taco', Crimson Oasis Trading Company
Tai-i Shizuko Lofgren, Third Infantry Company, Oniwaka
Cassius Bello, SDR-9K Venom 'Cassius', Kowalski's Borderers

"Of what use is a dream, if not a blueprint for courageous action" -Adam West
It's an Omni, so I can build it into whatever I please - JHB
"Life is too short to be living someone else's dream" - Hugh Hefner

Wrangler

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Something fishy about this.  ;)
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

MoparMessiah

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Do you have anything that isn't breaded? 

Wrangler

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*points to the newly delivered Beer Nuts in their wrappers* I think that fills your request.  Just make sure you fill out all necessary forms to have them for your use.
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

The Mighty ACHOO

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*SIGH* That didn't take long for things to get twisted.


I can't have anything nice.
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

MoparMessiah

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This is why we can't have nice things

BirdofPrey

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*BoP pulls out a couple pineapples with grenade pins stuck in them*

So, I lost the shipping manifest, so I'm not actually sure if these are perfectly safe and edible novelty fruit, or explosives disguised as fruit, but at least it isn't breaded.

The Mighty ACHOO

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Well, lets find out if they are safe.
[Quickly pulls both pins, then shoves BoP and his pineapples into a bunker rated closet and shuts the door. Achoo then legs it to hide behind his throne]
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

Wrangler

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Jumpin jehosaphat!  He's bombing the poor mechanical bird brAIN! *Jumps behind the bar and takes swig of courage (C) rum as he wait for the impending explosion.*
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

The Mighty ACHOO

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Where is the boom? There was supposed to be a BoP shattering boom....
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

BirdofPrey

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*A muffled yell is heard*
Can someone get me a towel and a bowl?  Apparently this is a BoP Industries self-cutting pineapple, and it was set to fruit salsa.

Wrangler

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*Suddenly the muffle is drown with a Toilet flush as BoP is lost into the nether regions of the Achoo's waste recycling system. Wombat comes out of the bathroom that had BoP and says "Thanks for the Towel!" with toothy grin.*

Yeesh, that terrible way to go....he all washed up...no down?
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

The Mighty ACHOO

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Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.................just.................................Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!     :o
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

MoparMessiah

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I have lost my will to eat Pineapple

The Mighty ACHOO

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Don't use the bathroom. I have called in the HazMat team to just nuke it. It will be better and easier just to replace it. it was modular anyway. Heck, this entire place is modular. Technically this is an OmniLair, easily refitted, altered, and rebuilt by just replacing the parts you intruders destroy.   }:)
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

MoparMessiah

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Install the Bar Module Prime!

Wrangler

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*Weasel We-Swap-It-We-Replace-It Crew arrives, begins lug out the old nasty modules that were rendered destroyed.  Then swap in new ones (BoP Certified) Bar & Bathroom modules.  After giving Achoo's his lengthy and rather long bill that wasn't covered by the insurance company (I-Am-Insurance), they take 45 minute coffee break on his expense then wheel out with broken modules over the distance.  Suddenly a BoP DropShip comes by and bombards the area where Weasels drove off too make sure the modules are rendered "Safe to Recycle" with said weasels as well*

Glad i don't work for them. Yeash.

*Wrangler walks to the new and fully stocked bar for a Beer.*
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

MoparMessiah

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Achoo should have switched to Geiko

The Mighty ACHOO

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Wombat stuffed the poor Geiko gecko into his pouch. I fear for the poor gecko.
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.