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Author Topic: Mech Jokes  (Read 4732 times)

Demon55

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Mech Jokes
« on: 28 May 2017, 03:07:00 »
Let's start a mech jokes thread.

Here are a few:

Which mech likes to show itself?  The Flashman.

Which mech follows you home?  The Stalker.




Wrangler

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #1 on: 28 May 2017, 07:55:04 »
What Mech seems to always comes back from the dead?  Phoenix

Which Mech seem to always be in a rush? Charger
« Last Edit: 28 May 2017, 15:41:08 by Wrangler »
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

Demon55

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #2 on: 28 May 2017, 20:01:57 »
What mech is the wittiest?  The Whitworth.


Clangador

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #3 on: 29 May 2017, 02:25:23 »
Which mech is a favorite in Rome?

The Centurion.
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The Mighty ACHOO

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #4 on: 29 May 2017, 03:29:54 »
What 'Mech is the favorite of rampaging barbarian hordes?

The Pillager
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monbvol

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #5 on: 29 May 2017, 03:40:25 »
How many Atlas does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but the Lyrans will send an entire regiment anyway as a scouting force because it is dark the room now.

A Combine Regiment is attacking a Skye province world when they come across a lone Highlander.  The Highlander pilot shouts at them to send over their best warrior, "I'll be waiting on the other side of that hill".  The Combine Commander thinking he has nothing to lose sends his best warrior.  Sounds of a short battle come from behind the hill then the Highlander comes out untouched.  He shouts at the Combine Regiment "That was your best?  Send a whole lance this time!"  Again thinking his troops should win this fight easily Combine Commander sends a whole lance of his best warriors.  Again the battle is short and the Highlander again appears unscathed.  "I'm getting bored.  Send a company!"  He shouts.  Thinking surely a Company will kill a single Highlander the Combine Commander dispatches the troops.  The battle lasts a bit longer this time but again the Highlander comes out unscathed.  Enraged the Combine Commander sends an entire Battalion over the hill.  Eventually after a long protracted fight one of his mechs finally returns.  "Sir it's a trap.  There's two of them!"

Demon55

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #6 on: 29 May 2017, 04:59:35 »
Why did the Atlas want to look upon the head of Medusa?  Its team wanted it to die.

Wrangler

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #7 on: 29 May 2017, 19:25:43 »
Which mechs quickest Mech to fire?  The Quickdraw.
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

Demon55

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #8 on: 30 May 2017, 00:12:26 »
What made the Timber Wolf turn into a Mad Cat?  Its fury at realizing it was descended from freebirth surat designs!

Wrangler

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #9 on: 31 May 2017, 07:57:01 »
What has 5 Gauss Rifles?  I don't know either, but I'm sure not staying find out! - Gausszillaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
« Last Edit: 08 May 2019, 19:53:40 by Wrangler »
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

Ang Moh Siao

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #10 on: 31 May 2017, 08:24:17 »
Urbanmech!


(Yes, that's the joke and the punchline, all in one go.  Very economical.)
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Demon55

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #11 on: 01 June 2017, 06:43:37 »
Why was the Amaris company commander upset?  He was attacked by a battalion of Star League Crabs.

truetanker

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #12 on: 11 June 2017, 21:18:33 »
What's a defensive target called when defended by a group of combined forces consisted of a company of mechs and a battalion of tanks?

A Scorpions Nest.

TT
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Demon55

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #13 on: 07 September 2017, 09:00:26 »
What do you call a Falconer with a destroyed side torso?

Falconed.

Wrangler

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #14 on: 07 September 2017, 11:13:22 »
What mech is light on it's feet? Hermes.

What mech has identity crisis?  Any of the Classic LAMs.
« Last Edit: 08 May 2019, 19:54:51 by Wrangler »
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

Mech42ace

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #15 on: 07 September 2017, 19:11:23 »
An Atlas, Warhammer, and Marauder walk into a bar ... The bar was destroyed.

...I'll be here all week! Don't forget to tip your waiter!
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ClarkeMarek

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #16 on: 08 September 2017, 00:32:45 »
I think I've figured out your comedy style.  You tell jokes the same way a Mad Cat tells jokes. :)
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Five rounds, rapid!

Wrangler

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #17 on: 08 September 2017, 05:49:33 »
I think I've figured out your comedy style.  You tell jokes the same way a Mad Cat tells jokes. :)
Angry and with cat hisses with casual explosions?
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

ClarkeMarek

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #18 on: 08 September 2017, 23:16:06 »
Angry and with cat hisses with casual explosions?

No.  I mean how a Mad Cat literally tells a joke on stage.

CAVAET:  Only kidding, trying to heckle.  No offense intended.
"Son, if dynamite was dangerous, do you think they'd sell it to an idiot like me?"~Al Bundy
Five rounds, rapid!

Wrangler

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #19 on: 09 September 2017, 22:28:48 »
Well the cat is MAD of course there going be hissing.   :blank:

What Mech always get cops calling on it to stay away?  Stalker.
« Last Edit: 10 May 2019, 13:42:40 by Wrangler »
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

Demon55

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #20 on: 23 February 2018, 17:26:42 »
What do you call a boiled Crab or King Crab?

Dinner!

Luciora

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #21 on: 23 February 2018, 18:24:43 »
Did you ever notice we have the Spider and a Venom, but no Carnage?  I mean, what's that all about?


ClarkeMarek

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #22 on: 24 February 2018, 02:53:02 »
Did you ever notice we have the Spider and a Venom, but no Carnage?  I mean, what's that all about?

Small lasers really don't do a lot of damage. ;) :D
"Son, if dynamite was dangerous, do you think they'd sell it to an idiot like me?"~Al Bundy
Five rounds, rapid!

Wrangler

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #23 on: 25 February 2018, 09:26:08 »
Why is the Firestarter considered the boss of Mechs?   It's because it's only one who can fire someone.

*Wrangler tap dances off the stage as rather blunt object is thrown at him.*
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

Demon55

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #24 on: 29 August 2018, 11:26:55 »
Which mech likes to loot?

The Pillager.


Rogue Two

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #25 on: 04 September 2018, 21:58:48 »
Which Mech is best for dealing with Wasps and Locusts?

The Exterminator

Wrangler

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #26 on: 05 September 2018, 07:14:58 »
What Mech is the worst at hunting?

The Wolf Trap!

*Trap door conveniently open under him and he plunges down into bellows of the Mechbay below him!*
"Men, fetch the Urbanmechs.  We have an interrogation to attend to." - jklantern
"How do you defeat a Dragau? Shoot the damn thing. Lots." - Jellico 
"No, it's a "Most Awesome Blues Brothers scene Reenactment EVER" waiting to happen." VotW Destrier - Weirdo  
"It's 200 LY to Sian, we got a full load of shells, a half a platoon of Grenadiers, it's exploding outside, and we're wearing flak jackets." VoTW Destrier - Misterpants

Luciora

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #27 on: 05 September 2018, 11:23:55 »
I never got why the Sword of Light is so popular. They are SOL, after all!  *ba-dum-pish*

Demon55

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #28 on: 06 September 2018, 06:56:57 »
What do you call an Axman without its axe?

An axed mech.

Demon55

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Re: Mech Jokes
« Reply #29 on: 26 September 2018, 14:30:47 »
Which mech bitches the most?
The Banshee