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Author Topic: Future Past: Now with some story.  (Read 18681 times)

Centurion03

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Future Past: Now with some story.
« on: 04 June 2011, 12:43:29 »
I have been mulling about this for a few days now.

Imagine for a moment that one day NASA / ESA / FKA detect a sudden burst of radiation and electro-magnetic readings from a distant Lagrangian point in our Solar System.

Weeks later a strange object enters Earth's atmosphere and crashes in Antarctica. An international team is assembled to investigate the crash site. After finding the strange ovoid object, the team finally manages to open it and enter. Inside they find only corpses. The crew are all dead from exposure and wounds from what can only be assumed to be weapons.

The large craft is full of strange 12 meter tall bipedal machines, eerily familiar infantry weapons and vehicles that defy conventional logic.

Yet, what concerns the team most is what is found in the assumed Captain's Quarters, the electronic log dating to 3072, and a warning. Beware the Master and his Shadows.


There exist a few AU's, but not one about what would happen if a BattleTech met humankind TODAY. What would a M1 Abrams look like retrofitted with a Light AC/5.

How would an indigenous BattleMech design look like we built today?

And lastly, would we survive an invasion of WoB Division?
« Last Edit: 07 June 2011, 12:31:43 by Centurion03 »

Hawkeye Jim

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #1 on: 04 June 2011, 13:04:51 »
tell the terrorists that the WoBs were called in to annihilate them, then sit back and watch the fun.

Davion_Boy_74

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #2 on: 04 June 2011, 13:35:46 »
Well.........if the world's nations don't all fight each other over the "new tech" and the culture shock ... it would be different I guess  :-\ .

Dave.

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #3 on: 04 June 2011, 16:07:24 »
You've read this: The Virginia war ?
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Centurion03

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #4 on: 04 June 2011, 17:01:30 »
You've read this: The Virginia war ?

Ah, thats it. The Virgnia War incorporates quite a few different universes into one.

Its a good story.

But I have something else in mind. How would us 21st Century humans handle an invasion by forces of the Word of Blake, or any Inner Sphere power for that matter. We may have some warning, and some time to adapt our weapons and tactics.

Would this make a good FanFic?

Davion_Boy_74

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #5 on: 04 June 2011, 17:08:53 »
It would make a good read, though the attacking force would have to be careful as they would be doing damage that would destroy their own time line (?), go for it.

Dave.

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #6 on: 04 June 2011, 19:21:58 »
Go for it Centurion!

Sounds like a great idea, especially considering the gross disparity in electronics. While a mech would open an HRA or Chobham armored tank like a can of tuna, modern day electronics are far superior to those used in the BT universe.

BT has 50-500m ranges with most of their weapons beyond blue light specials, super zipped tungsten, and LRM. None of the BT weapons can reach out and touch someone beyond 1.4km.

In our modern world you're hard pressed to find any tanks, even modernized T-54/55 and their Chinese derivatives can hit targets out to 3 or 4 klicks with their main guns AND their coax. Then there's arty, which is effectively unknown in BT, and those are just the highlights.

Be interesting to refit bipedal warmachines with proper electronics, CWIS, and decent MGs.

Hawkeye Jim

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #7 on: 04 June 2011, 21:30:13 »
Think suicide bombers wearing satchel charges climbing up the mechs......

Trace Coburn

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #8 on: 04 June 2011, 23:30:09 »
Ah, thats it. The Virginia War incorporates quite a few different universes into one.

Its a good story.

But I have something else in mind. How would us 21st Century humans handle an invasion by forces of the Word of Blake, or any Inner Sphere power for that matter. We may have some warning, and some time to adapt our weapons and tactics.

Would this make a good FanFic?
  Like any fan-fic, I’d have to say that depends on the execution.   :-\  There’s at least one other ongoing story on more-or-less that very subject right now: An Entry with a Bang!, the BT Round-Robin over on spacebattles.com which originally inspired me to start The Virginia War - Meeting Engagement.  That one drops Earth (or the Tom Clancy version thereof) into the Periphery eight jumps from Antallos in the late ’50s, and C-Earth doesn't get the memo until fifty years later (c.2005/3020), when a band of pirates drops by and tries their luck.  The actual full-scale pirate invasion which ensued... did not go well for them.  }:)
  It’s a decent-enough read; unfortunately, actual progress has been slowed by technical discussions and a lot of wrangling.  [metalhealth]

  An Entry with a Bang! sub-forum at SB.com.
  aEwaB story-only thread.

  And for what it’s worth, it’s not much of a spoiler to tell you that Meeting Engagement is going to see a full-scale (by BT standards) invasion of Earth and fighting across a lot of its surface within a couple of in-universe months.  (It’s only a double crossover, BTW, nBSG with BT with the Jack Ryan universe; other ‘crossover’ elements like the Gundam SEED expies are imported mainly as a shorthand to tell the readers about characters without having to resort to half-page descriptions.  ::) )
« Last Edit: 05 June 2011, 00:57:40 by Trace Coburn »

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #9 on: 05 June 2011, 04:56:57 »
though the attacking force would have to be careful as they would be doing damage that would destroy their own time line

Depends on the time travel theory in use, solid timeline or splitting branches.
As its well known that RL physics and BT physics aren't exactly the same, Trace' alternate universe variant is the most likely anyway...

Centurion03

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #10 on: 05 June 2011, 05:55:47 »
I think I am going to take the lazy approach, and go with something along the lines of it just happened.

Earth is going to be a separate, yet eerily similar world to Terra.

Something to be dealt with later, if at all.

Khan Jade Wolf

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #11 on: 05 June 2011, 12:10:02 »
To answer that! "Write it and they will comment!"
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greatsarcasmo

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #12 on: 05 June 2011, 14:00:20 »
Long ago, in the early 90s I picked up a fanzine for battletech. It had a color cover and was an anthology issue of this particular fanzine series. In the first page it had a scenario write up of a dropship (i don't remember if they were pirates, or what) dropping in on late 1980s Western Europe. The story included a character discussing SAMs hitting the dropship. The scenario gave force listings which included Leopard IIs for the NATO forces. It, however, didn't give any stats. The magazine also had an article on powered armor very similar to protomechs and 31st century classifieds.
Anyways, I think such a story would go over well, I would likely read it. In fact as a similar idea,  I've often thought of pirates raiding a periphery realm that was at WW2 technology levels. Think Turtledove's In the Balance series.
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Paladin1

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #13 on: 06 June 2011, 13:35:12 »
Long ago, in the early 90s I picked up a fanzine for battletech. It had a color cover and was an anthology issue of this particular fanzine series. In the first page it had a scenario write up of a dropship (i don't remember if they were pirates, or what) dropping in on late 1980s Western Europe. The story included a character discussing SAMs hitting the dropship. The scenario gave force listings which included Leopard IIs for the NATO forces. It, however, didn't give any stats. The magazine also had an article on powered armor very similar to protomechs and 31st century classifieds.
Anyways, I think such a story would go over well, I would likely read it. In fact as a similar idea,  I've often thought of pirates raiding a periphery realm that was at WW2 technology levels. Think Turtledove's In the Balance series.
That fanzine was Future Wars, IIRC, and I seem to also remember that it was a Best of Future Wars issue at that.  There was a lot of fun stuff in that issue, but I'm like you in that the pirate invasion of 1988-era Western Europe is what stuck with me.  There were, however, stats for the Leopard II listed, sort of, in that they fluffed it as being basically a Vedette.  Not realistic, but it was there.

greatsarcasmo

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #14 on: 06 June 2011, 14:43:33 »
That's it, sir! My apologies on the faulty memory. I have a regular issue of Future Wars in my collection and meh...
Let us see some writing!
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Centurion03

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #15 on: 07 June 2011, 09:07:02 »
Chapter 1

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.

June 6, 2010
Earth
Glenn Research Center, Ohio


James Brookes lined up the perfect putt, his putter meticulously aligned with the golf ball. The angles had been calculated by him over a period of hours, all down to a millimeter. He struck the ball at just the right velocity, the ball rolled forward, ricocheted off of the chair leg, hit the coke can, rolled round the corner, the calculator then guided it towards the coffee mug lying on its side...

And the golf ball missed.

James tutted to himself, he knew he should have adjusted the coke can a bit more. It had felt like it was a bit too far from the corner. As he sat down at his terminal, he couldn't help but think how he always managed to get the late night shifts monitoring the SOHO satellite. Not only was it boring, but nothing ever happened. What passed for excitement was the occasional request to change the angle of some or other lens on the aging satellite.

James scribbled over his calculations in his notebook, and started from the beginning. Before he could become to engrossed the computer in front of him started beeping, looking up James was about to curse the ancient satellite again for failing to maintain the proper alignment for the hundredth time, but as he started to program the course adjustment, he stopped. Not only was one of the peripheral sensors off of target, but it was failing now.

"Piece of shi..." James never finished when noticed that three other peripheral sensors had detected anomalies in the same part of space. The UV, infrared and visible light sensors had all picked up readings form below the sun. Far below the sun.

Curiosity overwhelmed him as he accessed the sensor logs, the sensors weren't malfunctioning at all, they had detected valid emissions. As the sensor data loaded on his screen James' mouth virtually dislocated itself from his jaw. Reaching for his phone he dialed his supervisor, by this time he had completely forgotten that it was 03h00 in the morning. After a few rings his supervisor answered: "James, if you are stoned again I swear to God I am going to dock this month's wages from you" all that answered the supervisor was silence "James? This isn't funny, just like it wasn't funny when you did this three weeks ago."

All that James could think of saying at that stage was "I think ET just found us..."
« Last Edit: 07 June 2011, 09:37:19 by Centurion03 »

Centurion03

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #16 on: 07 June 2011, 10:17:07 »
June 7, 2010
The White House, Washington DC


Charles Boden cleared his throat as he stood to brief the President of the United States of America. He could feel the weight of the situation on his shoulders, what he was about to say could change the course of Human History. Walking to the large LCD screen he couldn't help but notice as those clustered around the large table in the briefing room turned towards him. He cleared his throat again.

Using the pointer he activated the LCD, and brought up the first image showing a distant picture of the sun.

"Mr President, less than 24 hours ago, the NASA SOHO satellite detected anomalous readings below the sun. At first this was attributed to be a glitch in the satellites primary sensor systems. However, our technician that was monitoring the satellite examined the raw sensor data and found this..." Bolden turned to the screen and brought up the next picture, the room suddenly filled with restless noise as it became apparent what was on the screen.

The picture showed a needle-like structure, with a bulbous front section and a regular bulges around the body.

"What you are seeing is undoubtedly a non-natural construct." Bolden couldn't help but stutter out his last few words. Chaos erupted in the room as people were throwing questions and accusations at the NASA Administrator.

President Obama stood quietly and slammed his hands on the desk. Quiet returned before he started talking "Mr Bolden, what do you mean non-natural construct? What are we looking at?"
The NASA man's eyes bulged slightly "Mr President, by non-natural construct I mean, something, somewhere built what you are seeing in this picture. Its the first confirmed sign that we are not alone in the universe."

President Obama looked at the man with a hint of disbelief evident on his face. "Mr Bolden, how do we know that this isn't simply a piece of space debris? That to me, looks to be something that could easily have come off of the ISS or even MIR."

Bolden took a few shallow breaths "Mr President, the size of the construct significantly dwarfs anything we have even built, our estimates put it at about 500 meters Sir" the Cabinet members in the room started murmuring again. Bolden clicked to the next photo, one which despite being as blurry as the previous one was considerably zoomed in. "Sir, we also saw this happen, one of the bulges along the main body of the construct visibly detached. And started accelerating towards earth."

Chaos erupted in the room.


« Last Edit: 07 June 2011, 12:31:11 by Centurion03 »

Centurion03

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Re: Future Past: Now with some story.
« Reply #17 on: 07 June 2011, 15:11:58 »
June 8, 2010
Brussels, Belgium.
NATO Headquarters


Admiral Michael Mullen sat down with a heavy sigh. He could still see the expressions of disbelief on the faces of his fellow admirals and generals that he knew was reflected on his own. His British counter-part looked up from his briefing package "So, you are essentially telling me that ****ing ET is about to land on our planet... And we want to sit back and let it happen?" Their mutual French ally shook his head and uttered a few choice words in his own language. The Belgium general seemed in agreement with the French sentiments.

Mullen leaned forward "Sir David, I don't like the idea myself, but as a few of my subordinates, and the science geeks at NASA pointed out, do we really want to antagonise what could be a very advanced civilization before we know what they want."
The Brit seemed to take the matter to heart "I can understand that Admiral, yet, I should point out, if these ET buggers are hostile, I don't want them to catch us with our proverbial pants around our ankles." There were more than a few guffaws and snickers at the old man's metaphor.

General Harald Sunde from Norway spoke up "Lets then ensure that our respective Armed Forces are at a heightened level or readiness, we know our astute political leaders have agreed to keep the events of the past two days from the public, so we spin it by saying NATO is preparing for exercises." This had more than a few of the various generals and admirals nodding in agreement.

Admiral Édouard Guillaud got up and poured himself some coffee before turning back to the group "Do we have any idea where this craft is going to make landfall? We could see mass panic if it lands in Paris or New York."

Mullen suddenly seemed uncomfortable, "Our projections have the craft traveling at a constant 1G of acceleration, and with its current course and speed, NORAD calculates that it will put down somewhere in Antarctica." The entire room quietened down, each soldier showing their distaste over the perceived neutrality issues that would arise from this. Mullen continued "President Obama will be bringing this up in the UN Security Council in two hours, but he thinks we should involve the South Africans and Argentinians as they are the closest countries..." He trailed off as each of his compatriots seemed to grow more sour.

It was Sir David was the first to speak up "The South Africans, I can maybe agree to, but the bloody Argies, not on my life. Those bastards are still agitating for the Falklands..."

Mullen took the time to let him finish "Sir David, that decision lies with our Commanders-in-Chief, we have to decide how we are going to handle the situation on the ground, how we are going to respond to any situation that may occur." Mullen could see that Sir David's cheeks were reddened, whether or not it was because of the shame or anger he couldn't say.

Admiral Guillaud attempted to hide a snicker at the expense of his British ally "Perhaps we should take a break and firstly see how our Commanders decide to handle the public side, before we decide how to best prepare for any eventualities." There was a general acknowledgment of agreement as the top brass for all of NATO started to file out.

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Re: Future Past: Now with some story.
« Reply #18 on: 07 June 2011, 15:29:50 »
I like the idea of this.

I've thought about it a few times a miss jump of a Starlord or Monolith into modern times and the stories that carry on from it the problem I keep finding is.

Once someone sees a Mech even if its painted up as USA or NATO or whatever, once they see its capabilities whats to stop them pressing the red button and being done with it?

12 metre tall BattleMechs of destruction would lay waste to all modern tech, same with aerospace fighters and more than likely Battle Armour would be almost impossible to fight conventionally in modern terms.  From there it goes to the next approachable level carpet bombing, firebombing, MOABs and even then Mechs could probably weather a lot of fire before going down - too much for most country's to take.

Earth is a small planet having Mechs limited to one planet full of conventional vehicles and PBIs would be nasty and probably lead to one thing - someone with a god complex (My Mechs are unstoppable) - others get annoyed at this leading to world war - a nuclear one.

Just my thoughts and ramblings I'll watch with interest this looks good so far.

Centurion03

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Re: Future Past: Now with some story.
« Reply #19 on: 07 June 2011, 15:45:55 »
Thats why I planning on having an external threat unite the Earth. This Earth isn't in the past
or even future or something like that.

Its a planet identical to Terra, that somehow evolved almost identically to Terra. The story is
taking place in 3073.

Fun times ahead.

Captain Gentry

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Re: Future Past: Now with some story.
« Reply #20 on: 07 June 2011, 18:28:27 »
Good story so far. Please don't fall into that silly view where ALL BT tech curbstomps 2012 modern day Terran tech.

Yes BT armor is superior, yes they have energy weapons and Terra doesn't, yes they have big honking space ships and Terra don't, but that's all they've got.

Modern Terra has a huge advantage in the performance of their electronics, ballistic weapon ranges and accuracy, superb artillery, and heap tons of over the horizon weapons like cruise missiles. In fact the South Africans have some of the best mobile artillery out there right now.

Plus Terra has plenty of experience dealing with cultist wackjobs  :D

greatsarcasmo

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Re: Future Past: Now with some story.
« Reply #21 on: 07 June 2011, 19:45:54 »
False.
Good story so far. Please don't fall into that silly view where ALL BT tech curbstomps 2012 modern day Terran tech.

Yes BT armor is superior, yes they have energy weapons and Terra doesn't, yes they have big honking space ships and Terra don't, but that's all they've got.

Modern Terra has a huge advantage in the performance of their electronics, ballistic weapon ranges and accuracy, superb artillery, and heap tons of over the horizon weapons like cruise missiles. In fact the South Africans have some of the best mobile artillery out there right now.

Plus Terra has plenty of experience dealing with cultist wackjobs  :D
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Centurion03

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Re: Future Past: Now with some story.
« Reply #22 on: 08 June 2011, 08:25:54 »
June 10, 2010
Somewhere in Antarctica
Third Squad, 4th Reconnaissance Commando


The Recce team moved forward slowly in the howling winds and blistering cold of the frozen Antarctic, the Staff-Sergeant looked back to see his men walked in an extended column, even with the cold each of the operators kept scanning the horizon. He smiled into his parka, before turning to continue the slog.

The mission had him worried, he knew that there were at least another sixteen similar teams deployed from a few of the world's best special forces, each moving to a certain point to engage in surveillance operations. Jan Taylor had been a Recce for eight years, and whilst he had never actually been deployed to a live warzone for anything more than peace-keeping, he knew you didn't deploy more than a hundred of the worlds best trained killers to simply see who could survey snow the best.

Something was up, but for the life of him, he couldn't guess what could possibly happen in Antarctica that would need him and his men to have full NBC gear packed in their packs.

*

June 11, 2010

Jan looked over the vast, desolate expanse of the ice in front of him. His team had dug deep into the snow to give them some shelter from the constant wind, which despite their thick parkas seemed to cut through them to the bone. The near-constant darkness had begun to irritate him, and he could hear his team try to keep themselves warm and busy. But he knew you could only take apart and clean your weapon so many times before that too started to become an irritation.

Despite repeatedly asking his superiors what they were supposed to be doing, or even looking for, he had just been told to keep watching their assigned sector. Jan snorted, even the bloody animals knew that there was nothing to do, and slept out the cold winter.

As Jan was about to get up to go down into the buried igloo, he heard a distant clap of thunder from behind his position. Corporal Willem Buys looked up at Jan with a question in this expression. Turning round to the sound Jan swore he could see a distant comet. Before he could look away he noticed that it was growing. "Lads" he called down to his men, silence answered him, but he knew they were awaiting his next command "Get ready, something is happening."

And something did happen. The comet-like object kept growing and growing, and so did the noise that followed it. Jan thought the wind was bad, the sound from the object was terrible. A screaming sound reverberated throughout his entire body. As the object passed straight over their position Jan had completely forgotten to take cover, it was less than a kilometer above them if Jan had to guess, but what had his complete attention was the large 03 painted on the side, and the misshapen star painted on the side.

The ovoid object continued on its path before it crashed without grace into a distant hill. He felt the pressure wave from the crash slam into him.

Looking back to his men, Jan couldn't help but notice that they now stood next to him, all looking at the distant crash.

"Lads, I think we know why we are here now... Get the NBC gear ready, I'm calling this in"
« Last Edit: 08 June 2011, 16:19:11 by Centurion03 »

Khan Jade Wolf

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Re: Future Past: Now with some story.
« Reply #23 on: 08 June 2011, 15:45:21 »
Geez I feel like killing my attempt at creating a good story for others!  Kudoes and do not stop the story!
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Dave Talley

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #24 on: 09 June 2011, 00:45:26 »
(It’s only a double crossover, BTW, nBSG with BT with the Jack Ryan universe; other ‘crossover’ elements like the Gundam SEED expies are imported mainly as a shorthand to tell the readers about characters without having to resort to half-page descriptions.  ::) )


any more coming?
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Trace Coburn

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #25 on: 09 June 2011, 10:28:36 »
any more coming?
  "Real Soon NowTM", which could mean days or weeks depending on how bad RL gets.  :'(  I am trying, but I don't have much writing-time at the moment and side-issues like building the background details (and trying to repost the FotW columns still outstanding) don't help matters.  Hopefully, my schedule will ease soon.  :-\

Khan Jade Wolf

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Re: Future Past: What do you guys think?
« Reply #26 on: 09 June 2011, 18:00:54 »
  "Real Soon NowTM", which could mean days or weeks depending on how bad RL gets.  :'(  I am trying, but I don't have much writing-time at the moment and side-issues like building the background details (and trying to repost the FotW columns still outstanding) don't help matters.  Hopefully, my schedule will ease soon.  :-\
I understand that! I have 304 pages hand written of DoH, 426 hand written of a non battletecg story! Then there is me, trying to earn extra $ so I can enjoy living!
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Centurion03

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Re: Future Past: Now with some story.
« Reply #27 on: 09 June 2011, 19:02:15 »
June 10, 2010
Somewhere in Antarctica
Third Squad, 4th Reconnaissance Commando
A hour later


As Jan ran forward to take cover behind an outcropping of ice, he made sure to cover the crash wreckage. Despite coming to down to mother earth at a fair speed, Jan couldn't help but notice that it was still more or less intact. In or two places there were massive rents in the side, and what looked like a massive door in the side had been ripped off of its hinges. Making sure his men were ready to go, Jan cursed his NBC gear for the hundredth time since donning it little more than a hour ago. Was it possible to be freeze to death, and die from heat? Jan would probably find out as he contemplated his Recce team's entry.

It had taken Command awhile to decide what to do, but after finding out about the crash it had been decided that Third Squad should proceed as fast as possible and assess the situation at the crash site. And if necessary render aid to anything on the vessel that needed it. Jan still didn't feel comfortable entering what could be an alien ship without any support. He knew that both a Delta Force and SAS team were inbound, but he would have preferred having three or four of his fellow Recce teams offering cover fire and close support.

As it was, his team was already two members short, he had left Hanks and Buyer on a hillock to give them some sniper cover with the NTW-20. It was serious overkill, but anything could in that ship and Jan wasn't taking any chances. Pointing out their entry point as the massive door-less entrance, Steyn and Nel quickly ran forward and made sure it was secure to enter. The remaining troopers all stowed their R4 rifles and pulled silenced Heckler and Koch MP5s except for Beast. The massive man unslung his AA-12, and at a nod from Jan, he entered into the crashed craft.

Jan ran into the hole after tapping Nel on the shoulder, and ran straight into Harolds, Jan was about to swear at him, until he saw what had caught Harolds' and for that matter the rest of the team's attention. The crash had thrown about what looked like cargo pallets and various odds and ends, but lining the bay in massive cradles were the biggest machines Jan had ever seen. Jan couldn't decide what to make of the forms in front of them. Some were smaller and looked like massive prehistoric raptors, whilst others eerily resembled knights from a child's story book.

The sound of something falling had the entire team snap their attention back to the situation at hand. The team medic quickly lifted his Geiger-counter and chemical sniffer, "Sarge, atmosphere is clean, no radiation, and no chemicals that will hurt us too much."

"Keep the suits on lads, we don't know what ET might have up his sleeve" replied Jan. Each of men spread out to search the bay, always mindful to cover each other, always checking blind spots. Jan thought that not a single one of his men wanted to re-enact a scene from a Hollywood B-movie. As his men continued their sweep, Jan turned to look at the bay's contents again. Walking to the leg of one, he wiped away the grime and dust, and under it was an insignia. A four-pointed star, with the top and right points longer than the other two. A serpent coiled around the star. Looking up Jan couldn't help but feel slightly intimidated by the behemoth towering above him. Jan realised with a start that Steyn was calling him.

"Sarge, we found something you need to see." the corporal beckoned him from a nearby crate. Walking over Steyn handed him a sheet of what looked like paper, on it was a list of components, and Jan realised he could read the sheet. On the list were items Jan had never heard of; the last however was unmistakable ; myomer strands, PPC focusing lenses, ammunition. Jan tucked the paper into his satchel and looked around. This was beginning to look more and more like a military vessel. 

"Harolds and Jennings, secure this bay, rest of you follow me, standard room to room search. And don't shoot unless you're shot at first. I am sure none of us want to shwack ET before the world can say hello, especially now that we know ET speaks English." ordered Jan, none of his men laughed though. And neither did Jan, they were really out of their depth as they walked into what looked a passage.     
« Last Edit: 06 April 2019, 09:11:19 by Centurion03 »

Khan Jade Wolf

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Re: Future Past: Now with some story.
« Reply #28 on: 09 June 2011, 23:22:07 »
Good work!
Semper paratus !
Praesto Novastar defendere!

Centurion03

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Re: Future Past: Now with some story.
« Reply #29 on: 10 June 2011, 06:28:49 »
Thanks!

I would appreciate any comments and critique.

@Khan Jade Wolf, Don't give up on your writing man. Its all about practice, and writing a story that you enjoy.