Author Topic: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed (Read 285669 times)

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #90 on:** 31 January 2011, 10:51:44 »

Well, post more often than. Sheesh! It is not as if CBT has been keeping the site hidden!

And watch out for the bear traps that Wombat insisted would improve the Feng Shui of the place.

Wombat · « **Reply #91 on:** 31 January 2011, 10:52:17 »

[Unfortunately for Achoo, about the same moment he is sitting on his "throne", Wombat has managed to cobbles together 398,387 ACME Palladium IIC Cherry Bombs and flushed them all at once. The resulting explosion triggers tsunami-like back-pressure in the toliet network, forcing a tidal wave to eject Achoo off his throne.]

*WOOOOOSH!!*

[Sadly the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar is now flooded and Achoo finds himself stuck halfway between the attic with his feet dangling above the flooded toliet...er "throne"...below.]

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #92 on:** 31 January 2011, 10:56:45 »

Now THAT is what I call a bidet!

Wombat · « **Reply #93 on:** 31 January 2011, 11:08:46 »

[Wombat paddles by on a marsupial-sized Mississippi tugboat with a large squeegee on a pole and a moist towelette and proceeds to "service" Achoo's exposed backside after his bidet.]

"There you go. Your good for another 3000 miles."

Wolf Reaper · « **Reply #94 on:** 31 January 2011, 12:56:59 »

This has to be unsanitary.

Hey Womabt, do not forget his free ait freshener. ;D

Wombat · « **Reply #95 on:** 31 January 2011, 13:09:34 »

"I prefer candles."

[Wombat pulls an giant-size gothic candelabra out of his pouch and begins to grease it up with some vaseline.]

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #96 on:** 31 January 2011, 13:17:45 »

I...I shouldn't watch...but it's so morbidly fascinateing....oooh, No Wombat, Narrow end first...Narrow end........ Oh dear Herb, I'm going to need some serious counselling after watching that....poor Achooo

Wolf Reaper · « **Reply #97 on:** 31 January 2011, 13:50:07 »

What is loob gonna do, make it a wet pain in the....

Wombat · « **Reply #98 on:** 31 January 2011, 13:52:01 »

**donkey sound**

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #99 on:** 31 January 2011, 22:24:43 »

ooc: Oh sure, threaten me with a big minty fresh candle when I have to be at work, unable to defend myself. Despicable, that is what you are.

IC: *sigh* Achoo shapechanges into a donkey and mulekicks Wombat into the AFFS thread.

What? So I'm an ass now. It's not as if none of you have not called me that before.

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #100 on:** 31 January 2011, 23:50:48 »

* ShadowRaven grabs some random planking and hammers it in place over the hole Wombats exit made.

twycross · « **Reply #101 on:** 01 February 2011, 01:06:19 »

Quote from: The Mighty ACHOO on 31 January 2011, 10:56:45

Now THAT is what I call a bidet!

That's no bidet...it's a cooler!

Or a bathtub.

Or a way to fail.

Scotty · « **Reply #102 on:** 01 February 2011, 02:59:00 »

My vote: all of the above! :D

Wombat · « **Reply #103 on:** 01 February 2011, 12:10:19 »

[The familiar sound of a gauss rifle going off is heard from somewhere around the AFFS thread, followed by the telltale screaming of a marsupial, followed by Wombat flying through the wall. Wombat lands in Scotty's lap.]

"Huh...are you my Mommy?"

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #104 on:** 01 February 2011, 12:54:10 »

* ShadowRaven sets to work patching the other hole. In complete knowledge, that no one in this forum is likely to use the same opening twice, except perhaps the windows.

Wolf Reaper · « **Reply #105 on:** 01 February 2011, 12:59:22 »

The opening to the bathroom better be used more then once. :o

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #106 on:** 01 February 2011, 16:29:34 »

There is no opening to the Bathroom, not any more. Wombat kinda blew that off with the last tidal wave. Be careful where you step by the way.

Wombat · « **Reply #107 on:** 01 February 2011, 18:06:28 »

[Wombat, in the meantime, appears to have put on a rather see-through tu-tu and is busily filling the Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar floor up with about three feet of water so he and his barracuda friends can practice water ballet.]

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #108 on:** 01 February 2011, 19:43:09 »

~grabs an admirals hat, flips over a table to use as a raft, and sets sail on the indoor sea. Heading straight for the bar~

ahoy lads, time we liberate a bit of the stock.

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #109 on:** 02 February 2011, 11:47:59 »

[Achoo drops onto Wombat's back, sticks the ACME Emergency Toon Raft Conversion Module onto Wombat's bum, and waits...]

Wombat: What are you doing?
Achoo: The Fandango, on your widdle head.
Wombat: Why are you doing the Fandango on my head?
Achoo: Because the bar is flooded, and doing the Fandango on the floor right now would just not work.
Wombat: Oh...........why am I starting to feel funny?
Achoo: Because you are Wombat?
Wombat: Well, that's true, but I am feeling funnier than normal.
Achoo: When has "normal" ever applied to you?
Wombat: Well, uhm...no, not then. There was...no, not than either.......What were we talking about?
Achoo: You being normal.
Wombat: What? When have I ever been normal?
Achoo: Not ever that I am aware of, but you claimed that there was something normal about you.
Wombat: I did? When did I do that?
Achoo: Just a little bit ago. You said that you were not feeling normal.
Wombat: Why would I say something like that.....and why am I suddenly orange?
Achoo: Because the ETRCM is done changing you.
Wombat: What is an ETRCM?
Achoo: This thing right here on your butt.....

[At this point Achoo quickly pulls the pin on the ETRCM and Wombat quickly inflates into WomRaft, complete with oars and a Tu-Tu. Achoo quickly begins rowing WomRaft towards the high ground of the bar, jumps off, and pulls the plug on the ETRCM. This causes WomRaft to deflate, much like a baloon. Just don't ask which end the horrible PFFFFFFFT sound is coming from.....]

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #110 on:** 02 February 2011, 12:26:45 »

~ducks as an orange...then green....then aqua....then finally blue Wombat flies around the room, bounceing off of things with the distinct sound of pinball bumpers until finally splashdown~

I'm glad that was mostly just hot air.

Wombat · « **Reply #111 on:** 02 February 2011, 12:42:25 »

[Wombat flys in complete circles deflating, over and over and over again, screaming like a schoolgirl on helium the entire way. Wombat quickly reaches into his pouch and pulls out a seatbelt, nevermind that he's not in a vehicle and has nothing to actually strap into, Wombat has this fleeting notion of being safe....probably a left over side effect of the ETRCM. Wombat smiles a big toothy grin as he fits the seatbelt around his widdle middle and clicks it to the closest object nearby. Unfortunately this happens to be Achoo.]

**click**

[Wombat and Achoo take off into the night sky, propelled by left over ETRCM gasses making an awful flirbert sound out of his rectum. Achoo tries to wiggle free, but the ACME seatbelt holds him secure against the propelled marsupial. As the fly up, Achoo gives Wombat a dirty look. Wombat gives Achoo a toothy grin as they pass SouthWestern flight # 291 and continue skyward.]

Achoo: "What are the odds?"
Wombat: "Um...1, 3, 5, and 7?"
Achoo: "I thought you couldn't count...or read?"
Wombat: "I can't. I asked the stewardess as we passed by that flight to New Avalon. Want some peanuts?"
Achoo: "How did you...oh nevermind. Look don't you have a parachute in your pouch?"
Wombat: "Sure, but I'm not allowed to use it until after we've crashed."
Achoo: "Lemme guess, comic code? Its funnier that way, right?"
Wombat: "Bingo."
Achoo: "Bingo?"
Wombat: "Well if you think we've got time before we hit the ground, although since I can't read, I usually just eat the little ping pong balls with numbers on them."

[Wombat and Achoo crashland and three times through a sandpaper factory, a sliced lemon cart, and a roaming rubbing alcohol gnome/seller before coming to rest on a giant trampoline. Naturally SouthWestern flight # 291, the flight they went through earlier, crashes right next to them on the giant trampoline, causing them to fly skyward again.]

Achoo: "We just had to land on that trampoline before that plane, didn't we? Ugh...I need a drink."
Wombat: "How about a mini scotch from the drink service vart on that plane?"
Achoo: "You somehow managed to grab booze off the flight in the fraction of a second before it hit the trampoline?"
Wombat: "Of course not, that would be stealing...so I used your credit card. The stewardess sold me a double."
Achoo: *sigh* "Hit me."
Wombat: "Wouldn't that be overkill since we're about to land in a most uncomforable way in the bar again with me on top of you?"
Achoo: "Probably, but at least I won't be awake to experience it....now shut up and let me drink my double scotch."

**SLAM!!**

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #112 on:** 02 February 2011, 17:39:23 »

The impacting Wombat and Achoo duo leaves a new skylight in the ceiling, and a second entrance to the cellar below. Moment after impact a whooshing sound, almost exactly that of what a flushed toilet would sound like, if someone ever bothered to build a toilet twenty feet across can be heard As the water begins to drain. ShadowRaven, still in his admirlas hat, upon his upturned table. Now outfited with sheet sails, and a flag that looks remarkabley like a pair of leopard print boxers begins to circle the top of the forming whirlpool. Opposite him, another figure, dressed in waterlogged and half rotted clothing, whith a face like a squid does the same Upon a table that looks as if it had lived in the bottom of a New York City sewer for the last fifty years.

"I think I saw this in a movie somewhere....."

lowrolling · « **Reply #113 on:** 02 February 2011, 19:06:51 »

The Prophet quickly steps in to deliver the new prophecy (please read as a shipment of beer and booze). The Prophet then quickly leaves money to cover his outstanding bar tab and leaves in the sacred vessel (beer truck).

twycross · « **Reply #114 on:** 02 February 2011, 23:24:47 »

Forget the Profit of B'here and Whine over there...he's just in the Profit-See biz for the cold, hard cash.

<Twy hands everyone Mauser 960s and stocks the Club and Bar with a few thousand tons of charged power packs and grenades of all flavors>

Try my warez instead. They're gratis. 8) :) }:)

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #115 on:** 03 February 2011, 00:17:52 »

Hey, mine doesn't seem to be worki....THWAP Oh Smeg....
~with a bayonete now pinning his foot to the table he faints dead away, and is soon sucked down into the swirling vortex leading down into the cellar below~

Wombat · « **Reply #116 on:** 03 February 2011, 18:53:20 »

[A sea lion wearing a cute hat pops out of the floorboards and kisses ShadowRaven right on the mouth.]

lowrolling · « **Reply #117 on:** 03 February 2011, 19:13:34 »

The Prophet (charged with Tequilla courage) pratices making the sacred vessel drift while looking for The Mighty Achoo and his scantily dressed hostage.

ShadowRaven · « **Reply #118 on:** 04 February 2011, 01:11:34 »

....mmmm....oh Melissa.....I know you miss me...but what about Hanse?.....and did you have sushi for dinner.....
~Grogilly he wakes up, opens his eyes, and moments latter an ear piercing scream, that would have done a twelve year old girl at a Justin Beiber concert proud, can be heard, and felt by the patrons upstairs.~

The Mighty ACHOO · « **Reply #119 on:** 04 February 2011, 11:42:10 »

Well, the ACME maitenance crew is here. I told them to fix the toilet and just lay a new floor across the hole in the floor.

Again.

What happened while I was unconscious?