Register Register

Author Topic: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed  (Read 83457 times)

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« on: 25 January 2011, 21:07:45 »
[Seeing as his arch nemesis is taking a nap, Wombat takes the opportiunity to scribble out the deed and crayon in his name (not that he can write very well) and somehow convinces the janitor down at the bank to sign off on the idea of a marsupial-run Salohma Club. Wombat then proceeds to decorage the bar in tuna fish and urinal cakes.]
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

boilerman

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 748
  • Spinning wrenches since 1968.
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #1 on: 25 January 2011, 21:12:52 »
New management?  It's going to be interesting when the old management walks in.
Avatar by Wombat. Thanks Wombat!

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #2 on: 25 January 2011, 21:28:23 »
"Ah yes, thats why I had saber-toothed slugs stationed at the door...with their very own salt-licks!"

[A nearby weasle paramedic whispers something in Wombat's ears.]

"...oh. Really? That really happens huh? Um, how about ill-tempered cheetahs? Llamas? Certainly we've got a bad llama infestation in the back room somewhere."
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

Wolf Reaper

  • Catalyst Demo Team
  • Lieutenant
  • *
  • Posts: 1464
  • Malo Mori Quam Foedari - Death Before Dishonor
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #3 on: 25 January 2011, 22:05:48 »
"Ah yes, thats why I had saber-toothed slugs stationed at the door...with their very own salt-licks!"

[A nearby weasle paramedic whispers something in Wombat's ears.]

"...oh. Really? That really happens huh? Um, how about ill-tempered cheetahs? Llamas? Certainly we've got a bad llama infestation in the back room somewhere."

Drama Llamas?
Star Colonel Vladik Ward
318th Wolf Striker Cluster
"The Blood Pack"


Sic Vis Pacem Parabellum  -"Those who seek peace, prepare for war."
"Grant me stillness and serenity as my enemies pound and howl." -Incantation against bombardment

boilerman

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 748
  • Spinning wrenches since 1968.
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #4 on: 25 January 2011, 22:10:47 »
We don't want the Cardassian sisters hanging out at the front door. 

I mean really...we might not have much class around here but let's keep what we got.
« Last Edit: 25 January 2011, 22:13:13 by boilerman »
Avatar by Wombat. Thanks Wombat!

Wolf Reaper

  • Catalyst Demo Team
  • Lieutenant
  • *
  • Posts: 1464
  • Malo Mori Quam Foedari - Death Before Dishonor
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #5 on: 25 January 2011, 22:14:51 »
I mean really...we might not have much class around here but let's keep what we got.

So the Olsen twins then?  :D
Star Colonel Vladik Ward
318th Wolf Striker Cluster
"The Blood Pack"


Sic Vis Pacem Parabellum  -"Those who seek peace, prepare for war."
"Grant me stillness and serenity as my enemies pound and howl." -Incantation against bombardment

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #6 on: 25 January 2011, 22:14:55 »
We don't want the Cardassian sisters hanging out at the front door.  I mean really...we might not have much class around here but let's keep what we got.

I believe you mean the Kardashian sisters...Cardassian sisters might imply something far different.  ;D
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

boilerman

  • Warrant Officer
  • *
  • Posts: 748
  • Spinning wrenches since 1968.
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #7 on: 25 January 2011, 22:18:43 »
Carrdassian, Kardashian, same thing.
Avatar by Wombat. Thanks Wombat!

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #8 on: 25 January 2011, 22:33:32 »
Carrdassian, Kardashian, same thing.

Well, now that you mention it...   :D
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

Joskney

  • Troubled one...
  • Corporal
  • *
  • Posts: 88
  • Lesnovo's Ronin Warrior.
    • Joskney's Blog
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #9 on: 25 January 2011, 22:50:21 »
Joskney wanders off to stab a sister to see if the IS a difference. :o
472nd Division (ComStar), 12th Army

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #10 on: 26 January 2011, 00:08:49 »
[Wombat stops Joskney with a disapproving look and then proceeds to sell him a knife...at 50% off.]
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

Joskney

  • Troubled one...
  • Corporal
  • *
  • Posts: 88
  • Lesnovo's Ronin Warrior.
    • Joskney's Blog
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #11 on: 26 January 2011, 00:11:50 »
What part is 50% off, front, back, handle??? No blade???  BITE MARKS?? I NEED TO KNOW!!!!
472nd Division (ComStar), 12th Army

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #12 on: 26 January 2011, 00:16:45 »
**spits out Joskney's hand**

"Ick...tastes like soap."

[Waddles off with Joskney's wallet...and pants.]
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

Wolf Reaper

  • Catalyst Demo Team
  • Lieutenant
  • *
  • Posts: 1464
  • Malo Mori Quam Foedari - Death Before Dishonor
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #13 on: 26 January 2011, 00:34:19 »
WR eats his wallet so the Wombat cannot get it.
Star Colonel Vladik Ward
318th Wolf Striker Cluster
"The Blood Pack"


Sic Vis Pacem Parabellum  -"Those who seek peace, prepare for war."
"Grant me stillness and serenity as my enemies pound and howl." -Incantation against bombardment

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #14 on: 26 January 2011, 00:41:02 »
[Wombat smiles a big toothy grin and proceeds to pull a jumbo-sized credit card swiper out of his pouch, picks up WR, and proceeds to "swipe" him through the machine a few times, making a "BEEP" sound each time he passes through it. Wombat puts him down and them proceeds to order some merchandise...most likely of the exploding persuation.]
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

Joskney

  • Troubled one...
  • Corporal
  • *
  • Posts: 88
  • Lesnovo's Ronin Warrior.
    • Joskney's Blog
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #15 on: 26 January 2011, 00:48:23 »
**Joskney reattaches his hand** 
Keep the wallet Wombat..  I am pooe.  But could you return the pants in a timely manner.  I have to officiate a meeting with FBI and the local street walkers.  AND well it wouldn't be right just dangling out like that...
472nd Division (ComStar), 12th Army

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #16 on: 26 January 2011, 00:52:16 »
[Wombat nods and puts the pants in his mouth along with a cup of detergent and a teaspoon of color-safe bleach (just in case). He proceeds to swish the pantes in his mouth a few times, then spin in complete circles for another moment or three before spitting out a perfectly clean, laundered, and (oddly enough) dry pair of trousers.]

"Shall I press them for you too?"
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

Joskney

  • Troubled one...
  • Corporal
  • *
  • Posts: 88
  • Lesnovo's Ronin Warrior.
    • Joskney's Blog
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #17 on: 26 January 2011, 00:57:15 »
No thank you... but I will cut you in for a portion of the proceeds from my meeting. 
472nd Division (ComStar), 12th Army

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #18 on: 26 January 2011, 01:30:40 »
"Ah...well next time try my permanent-press mouth gargle. Its got the stain-fighting power of ravenous gerbils!"
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

ShadowRaven

  • Lieutenant Colonel
  • *
  • Posts: 8159
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #19 on: 26 January 2011, 02:22:24 »
Hey, new managment....but the new managment can't spell is it not Solhama?
We are Clan Snow Raven. Masters of the void, and reapers of your souls

befriend (v.): to use mecha-class beam weaponry to inflict grievous bodily harm on a target in the process of proving the validity of your belief system.
— From a post on rpg.net

The Mighty ACHOO

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 5324
  • HI! I CAN SEE YOU!
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #20 on: 26 January 2011, 02:29:27 »
Wombat cannot actually read. He just fakes it, nods his widdle head (making rattling sounds like 2d6 die randomly rolling in his head, which may be what is actually happening) then says something which is usually not appropriate.

[Stands there glaring at Wombat]  >:/!
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

ShadowRaven

  • Lieutenant Colonel
  • *
  • Posts: 8159
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #21 on: 26 January 2011, 02:32:33 »
well yes, I was aware of that last part anyway. But if Wombat can't read, how does all the ordering of illegal items get processed? Or is that one of those questions I am safer off not knowing the answer to?
We are Clan Snow Raven. Masters of the void, and reapers of your souls

befriend (v.): to use mecha-class beam weaponry to inflict grievous bodily harm on a target in the process of proving the validity of your belief system.
— From a post on rpg.net

The Mighty ACHOO

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 5324
  • HI! I CAN SEE YOU!
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #22 on: 26 January 2011, 02:36:28 »
ACME just charges things randomly chosen from the catalogs and sends them to random customers. Some actually make it to Wombat.

Mostly he just points at the pictures of the online catalog.  ::)


[Stands there still glaring at Wombat]  >:(
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

Scotty

  • Alpha Strike Guru by appointment to the FWLM
  • Catalyst Demo Team
  • Lieutenant Colonel
  • *
  • Posts: 10337
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #23 on: 26 January 2011, 04:04:10 »
* Scotty stumbles into the thread.

I... don't think I've ever been in here before.  And to think I thought I knew the hotspots in the Hall.

EDIT:  holy crap, the /me script works here now.
Catalyst Demo Agent #679

Kansas City players, or people who are just passing through the area, come join us at the Geekery just off Shawnee Mission Parkway for BattleTech!  Current days are Tuesdays in the afternoon and evening.  I can't make every single week, but odds are pretty good that somebody will be there.

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #24 on: 26 January 2011, 10:07:52 »
[Wombat now armed with an Interactive speak-n-spell ACME catalog, randomly points at a nuclear-powered bear trap (with optional carrot dicer) and pushes "purchase". The Interative ACME catalog randomly selects a credit card to bill and, using space-time transporter technology, instantly delivers the product.]

**BLAMMO!!**

[...unfortunately it seems to have been "delivered" on Achoo.]
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

Wolf Reaper

  • Catalyst Demo Team
  • Lieutenant
  • *
  • Posts: 1464
  • Malo Mori Quam Foedari - Death Before Dishonor
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #25 on: 26 January 2011, 11:59:07 »
Well there goes my credit!

Come here wombat, I am going to fillet you.
Star Colonel Vladik Ward
318th Wolf Striker Cluster
"The Blood Pack"


Sic Vis Pacem Parabellum  -"Those who seek peace, prepare for war."
"Grant me stillness and serenity as my enemies pound and howl." -Incantation against bombardment

The Mighty ACHOO

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 5324
  • HI! I CAN SEE YOU!
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #26 on: 26 January 2011, 12:47:52 »
[watch] This will be fun to watch.  8)
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2327
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #27 on: 26 January 2011, 13:13:03 »
"Fillet me? But I don't know if I take premium or regular unleaded. Hang on...lets find out."

[Wombat pulls a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline out of his pouch and pours it in a gallon-sized martini glass, drops a single olive in it and swishes it around in his mouth. He then lights a match and puts it in his mouth, swishes it a bit longer, and then spits the flaming cocktail out on Wolf Reaper.]

*crackling sound of burning flesh*

"Hmmm...yeah I just don't know yet."

[Wombat rummages around in Wolf Reaper's charred pants and pulls out his wallet, chucks it and paws his credit card. Wombat then pulls a old Shell-style gas pump out of his pouch, selects "Premium" and swipes the card a few times and puts the nozzle in his mouth.]

*click-click-click-BING!*

[Wombat swishes the high-grade petrol around in his beak for a few moments before pulling a roadside flare out of his pouch, lighting it, and hosing down Wolf Reaper with the contents. Wolf Reaper can now be seen for miles as he is positively glowing (literally). Wombat nods and pulls a small pair of glasses and a notepad out of his pouch and makes a few notes in crayon.]

"Yep. I'm definitely a Premium-unleaded marsupial."

[Wombat waddles off, leaving Wolf Reaper still burning.]
"Remember gweilo, you suck when you are nervous." - James Hong

"Everyone has a plan until you get punched in the mouth." - Mike Tyson

"I reject your reality and substitute my own." - Adam Savage

Wolf Reaper

  • Catalyst Demo Team
  • Lieutenant
  • *
  • Posts: 1464
  • Malo Mori Quam Foedari - Death Before Dishonor
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #28 on: 26 January 2011, 14:04:07 »
I regret nothing.
Star Colonel Vladik Ward
318th Wolf Striker Cluster
"The Blood Pack"


Sic Vis Pacem Parabellum  -"Those who seek peace, prepare for war."
"Grant me stillness and serenity as my enemies pound and howl." -Incantation against bombardment

Scotty

  • Alpha Strike Guru by appointment to the FWLM
  • Catalyst Demo Team
  • Lieutenant Colonel
  • *
  • Posts: 10337
Re: The Salohma Club & Mechwarrior Bar...reclaimed
« Reply #29 on: 26 January 2011, 14:12:26 »
 [watch]
Catalyst Demo Agent #679

Kansas City players, or people who are just passing through the area, come join us at the Geekery just off Shawnee Mission Parkway for BattleTech!  Current days are Tuesdays in the afternoon and evening.  I can't make every single week, but odds are pretty good that somebody will be there.

 

Register