Register Register

Author Topic: The Great Solaris National Bankjob  (Read 2055 times)

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2296
The Great Solaris National Bankjob
« on: 31 January 2011, 12:50:28 »
[Our adventures opens up as Samauri Wombat, aka Wombat, and his henchman Achoo (for some reason throughout this series dressed in an oversized but otherwise functional copy of a blue marsupial suit with only his face poking out the top of the costume, high above the Solaris National Bank. While the producers have yet to comment as to why they've cast Wombat and Achoo working together, they seem to be wearing matching marsupial suits and are hanging on a pair of cables high above the vault of the bank.]

Wombat: "Did you bring the tools?"
Achoo: "Why am I dressed in a marsupial suit?"
Wombat: "I think it looks quite fetching on you."
Achoo: "You mean festering...has this thing ever been washed?"
Wombat: "No need, I tongue it off every few weeks...or it gets blown off and somehow ACMEâ„¢ colors a new one on me by the time of my next scene. I think its magic."
Achoo: "...its something alright."

[Meanwhile, deep in the interior of the bank, bank CEO and uber-lender Spamalot has his inept (but cheaply produced and under-insured) woozle security guards roaming the halls of the bank. the bank itself appears to be 23 stories tall with numerous patrons on levels in the lobby and around. Naturally to add another level of suspense (and in ACMEâ„¢'s attempt to compete with the network broadcast of American Idol, several different criminal factions may be attempting to rob this bank branch at the same time. The adventure has just begun...]
« Last Edit: 31 January 2011, 13:05:09 by Wombat »

twycross

  • Sergeant
  • *
  • Posts: 180
  • Death from above! DEATH FROM ABOVE!
Re: The Great Solaris National Bankjob
« Reply #1 on: 01 February 2011, 02:37:48 »

<Unknown to Wombat or Achoo...Sir Spamalot has contracted with Twy's Bar & Weapons emporium for upgraded weaponry, armor, and additional security forces in the form of Twycross clones>

Twy Clone Commander (over radio): Has everything checked out?

Twy Clone 1 (crackling from the radio): All defensive measures are in place. The Wozzles have their Mauser 960s locked and loaded, and are all in place. The other Twy clones are equipped in full kit and deployed. We should be set.

Twy Clone Commander: Stay frosty. I have a bad feeling about today.
Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers! Now Wombat, on the other hand, would be just the ticket right about now...and guns lots and lots of guns...and nukes, lots of them, too.

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2296
Re: The Great Solaris National Bankjob
« Reply #2 on: 01 February 2011, 13:00:51 »
[Unfortunately Wombat seems to have gotten distracted from his bank-robbing duties as he comes across a large bowl of lollipops.]

sir_spamalot

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 3390
  • Pip pip Spammy O. Jolly good can then.
    • Really Pathetic Productions
Re: The Great Solaris National Bankjob
« Reply #3 on: 01 February 2011, 19:38:50 »
**Nearby a cloaked figure presses a button on a remote.  The lollipops explode and wombat's face is blown off... all that remains is wombat's skull attached to the rest of his body.  The cloaked figure snickers and disappears**

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2296
Re: The Great Solaris National Bankjob
« Reply #4 on: 01 February 2011, 23:24:08 »
[Thankfully Wombat had gotten sticky grape all over his widdle nose, and seeing as its suck a pain to wash off, Wombat had ducked his head into his pouch to wash it off with a baby wipe. The resulting explosion blows off the head of his marsupial suit; leaving Wombat looking much like a disgruntled friar. Wombat pouts and pulls a fresh marsupial suit out of his pouch and changes into it.]

"Okay, plan B. Wait...does B come after A? I honestly don't know. Anyone? Anyone?"

twycross

  • Sergeant
  • *
  • Posts: 180
  • Death from above! DEATH FROM ABOVE!
Re: The Great Solaris National Bankjob
« Reply #5 on: 02 February 2011, 23:29:11 »

<One of the Twy clones pipes up...>

Twy Clone "Corporal Smartass": No, 3.14159 comes after "A"!

Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers! Now Wombat, on the other hand, would be just the ticket right about now...and guns lots and lots of guns...and nukes, lots of them, too.

The Mighty ACHOO

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 5158
  • HI! I CAN SEE YOU!
Re: The Great Solaris National Bankjob
« Reply #6 on: 02 February 2011, 23:53:43 »
Actually, If you are Canadian, the "A" comes at the end of the sentence.


Now remind me, just how did I get stuck with breaking into a bank with mu archnemesis as a partner? And wearing this "suit"? I now need a flea colar, one hell of a bath, and several gallons of Captain Morgan to get even the though of wearing this damned thing out of my head.
It's OK to disagree with me......I can't force you to be right.

If you are waiting for me to go out of my mind you will have to wait. The exits are not clearly marked.

sir_spamalot

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 3390
  • Pip pip Spammy O. Jolly good can then.
    • Really Pathetic Productions
Re: The Great Solaris National Bankjob
« Reply #7 on: 06 February 2011, 02:10:42 »
Woozle Boy: I named all my fleas Morice.... you look like a Morice to me too.

Wombat

  • Captain
  • *
  • Posts: 2296
Re: The Great Solaris National Bankjob
« Reply #8 on: 07 February 2011, 11:11:48 »
<<DUE TO LOW RATINGS, ACME HAS HIRED AN ADDITIONAL ACTOR TO PLAY THE ROLL OF...>>

sir_spamalot

  • Major
  • *
  • Posts: 3390
  • Pip pip Spammy O. Jolly good can then.
    • Really Pathetic Productions
Re: The Great Solaris National Bankjob
« Reply #9 on: 08 February 2011, 00:09:50 »
**Louie Anderson is now dressed in a wombat suit**

Louie: Come on Achoo... I want a urinal caaaaaaaaaaake.