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Author Topic: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.  (Read 79987 times)

Demon55

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #120 on: 21 March 2012, 19:31:06 »
I cannot sow every enemy field with salt, despite its efficiency. 

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #121 on: 24 March 2012, 00:52:41 »
I cannot "mix it up" when deploying a minefield by scattering the skulls of children into the field as well.
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #122 on: 24 March 2012, 01:04:53 »
I cannot replace the radios in diplomatic vehicles with NARC beacons.
Subtlety is for those who lack a bigger gun.

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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #123 on: 27 March 2012, 16:19:45 »
I cannot disguise my grenades as lumps of coal. Nor may I dress up as Santa and pelt my enemies with said lumps of "coal."
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #124 on: 27 March 2012, 16:37:38 »
I can't load tear gas rounds with psychotropic drugs, fire them into a field hospital, and play Barney songs over directed speakers in order to distract enemy commanders.
Subtlety is for those who lack a bigger gun.

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Hersh67

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #125 on: 27 March 2012, 21:27:03 »
I can't load tear gas rounds with psychotropic drugs, fire them into a field hospital, and play Barney songs over directed speakers in order to distract enemy commanders.

Wait a second, that's not bad, it's genius!!!  Why *not* do that?

Khymerion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #126 on: 27 March 2012, 21:35:25 »
Wait a second, that's not bad, it's genius!!!  Why *not* do that?

Long term psychological damage that might get you a reprimand or worse.
"Any sufficiently rigorously defined magic is indistinguishable from technology."  - Larry Niven... far too appropriate at times here.

...but sometimes making sure you turn their ace into red paste is more important than friends.

Do not offend the chair leg of truth.  It is wise and terrible.

The GM is only right for as long as the facts back him up.

Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #127 on: 27 March 2012, 23:29:24 »
Wait a second, that's not bad, it's genius!!!  Why *not* do that?

Because it uses up the supply of drugs that I need to use distracting MY commanding officers from all my other antics.  >:D
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Der Kommissar

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #128 on: 28 March 2012, 00:18:38 »
I am not allowed to shoot at our unit's Harasser light hovertanks in an attempt to knock out multiple enemies with the resultant fuel and ammunition explosion.

I am not allowed to try and justify shooting at our unit's Harasser light hovertanks by telling the CO that "statistically speaking, they were doomed, anyway."

I am not allowed to volunteer anyone but myself for a noble sacrifice for the good of the unit.

GreenDragon

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #129 on: 28 March 2012, 05:47:20 »
I am not allowed to Telekinetically unzip the top of a female party member, using the Force, to stun enemy combatants - allowing her to take them down...any more.
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The Mighty ACHOO

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #130 on: 28 March 2012, 12:07:39 »
I am not allowed to load up trucks with Long Tom Ammunition and tell the drivers to use the legs of the enemy force BattleMechs as pylons for racing. Especially the suicidal drivers.



But it works.
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wartang

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #131 on: 28 March 2012, 18:38:25 »
I am not allowed to Telekinetically unzip the top of a female party member, using the Force, to stun enemy combatants - allowing her to take them down...any more.

Fatalityhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRefeiSYRQ4  >:D
« Last Edit: 29 March 2012, 19:58:54 by wartang »

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #132 on: 29 March 2012, 18:54:28 »
I cannot facilitate a breakdown in diplomatic relations by blasting loud patriotic music at an embassy again.
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #133 on: 29 March 2012, 23:45:58 »
Using games of "Never Have I Ever" as an interrogational technique does not qualify my alcohol consumption as a work related expense, and I will not be reimbursed from unit funds.
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #134 on: 30 March 2012, 02:08:05 »
I cannot alcoholboard the captured Clanners.
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MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #135 on: 30 March 2012, 12:41:30 »
That's a waste of resources.

Unless you're using a domestic beer.  In that case, go right ahead.
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StCptMara

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #136 on: 30 March 2012, 12:49:25 »
That's a waste of resources.

Unless you're using a domestic beer.  In that case, go right ahead.

He could also be using confiscated moonshine.
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Weirdo

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #137 on: 30 March 2012, 13:42:50 »
That's a waste of resources.

Unless you're using a domestic beer.  In that case, go right ahead.

That's still just waterboarding.
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #138 on: 30 March 2012, 22:43:29 »
"Improvised weapon" does not mean "beat him to death with a box of strudels."
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #139 on: 31 March 2012, 01:30:49 »
I am not to call in orbital fire to sign my name in a captured city.
Subtlety is for those who lack a bigger gun.

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Khymerion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #140 on: 31 March 2012, 09:17:12 »
I am not to call in orbital fire to sign my name in a captured city.

How about a hill overlooking the town with Naval Lasers?   No loss then!
"Any sufficiently rigorously defined magic is indistinguishable from technology."  - Larry Niven... far too appropriate at times here.

...but sometimes making sure you turn their ace into red paste is more important than friends.

Do not offend the chair leg of truth.  It is wise and terrible.

The GM is only right for as long as the facts back him up.

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #141 on: 01 April 2012, 19:21:04 »
I cannot use puns in messages to higher command that I've conquered cities (I have Sindh, etc.) or other regions.
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #142 on: 04 April 2012, 11:26:22 »
The local farm is not the place to dispose of executed POWs.
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MoneyLovinOgre4Hire

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #143 on: 04 April 2012, 13:28:55 »
Off to the meat-packing facility!
Warning: this post may contain sarcasm.

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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #144 on: 05 April 2012, 01:49:31 »
My solution to all problems cannot be "Douse it in honey and let the bears take care of it."
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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #145 on: 17 April 2012, 15:22:06 »
There is no Solaris VII infantry arena in Kobe called "Professor Genki's Super Ethical Reality Climax."
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Fallen_Raven

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #146 on: 17 April 2012, 16:08:22 »
I am not to have the Astechs realign the main deflector dish, nor can I have them calibrate the dilitum matrix.
Subtlety is for those who lack a bigger gun.

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Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #147 on: 18 April 2012, 02:51:56 »
I cannot build speakers loud enough to knock the walls of the embassy over.
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Col. Chiang

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #148 on: 18 April 2012, 07:18:04 »
The infantry commander would like to inform me that the Inferno warheads I took from the armory are not a suitable substitute for the sriracha sauce that I borrowed from the mess hall for a "morale-building exercise".


Additionally, sriracha creatively applied to prisoners has also been banned after that last set of Clansmen died under "mysterious circumstances"...

Falchion

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Re: Don't spit in your helmet- the return of the "Do Nots" thread.
« Reply #149 on: 19 April 2012, 00:44:13 »
I cannot break a siege by mailing the commander the severed fingertips of his family, who are also behind the walls with him.
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