Author Topic: nonsensical error messages in the cockpit... (Read 68207 times)

PurpleDragon · « **on:** 01 September 2011, 10:19:17 »

Here it is, you're sitting in your mech in the heat of battle, or maybe, waiting for the heat of battle; and, you hear the computer tell you something that doesn't make sense. What would that message be? One message only, then another after someone else has posted... I'll start with an example.

Warning, PPC ammo depleted.

Klep · « **Reply #1 on:** 01 September 2011, 10:58:36 »

Warning: Deer intake valve contaminated by pork.

ClarkeMarek · « **Reply #2 on:** 01 September 2011, 11:16:25 »

Warning: AC/20 ammo low.

(Well, yeah, not that nonsensical. Unless you're piloting a Flashman or a pulse boat variant of a Warhawk. :D )

Damage Inc. · « **Reply #3 on:** 01 September 2011, 11:25:15 »

A while back, I owned a Plymouth Voyager and it would chime at you if you left the turn signals on too long.

Now I picture an Atlas lumbering down the battlefield with one light blinking and in the cockpit all you hear is "Ding ding ding ding...." :D

PurpleDragon · « **Reply #4 on:** 01 September 2011, 11:38:58 »

warning: case system defective; pilot eject not possible...

Pa Weasley · « **Reply #5 on:** 01 September 2011, 11:49:39 »

Warning: banana modulation frozen, avoid crosswalks.

greatsarcasmo · « **Reply #6 on:** 01 September 2011, 12:19:50 »

Warning: Laser fluid low.
Or:
Warning: Hydrogen level low, please evacuate bladder into reactor.

Blackjack Jones · « **Reply #7 on:** 01 September 2011, 12:55:08 »

'Mech Warning: Actuator Testing Mode "Macarena" Activated!

'Mech Warning: Movement Profile "Ministry of Silly Walks" Activated!

'Mech Warning: Gyroscope Testing Mode "Sobriety Test" Activated!

Tracked Vehicle Warning: Tire Pressure Low!

BA Warning: Harjel sealant exhausted! Engaging Emergency Jello Sealant!

ASF Warning: Error Detected! Pull lever marked "Emergency Egress" to Continue.

ClarkeMarek · « **Reply #8 on:** 01 September 2011, 13:54:13 »

No keyboard detected. Press "Enter" to continue.

Wrangler · « **Reply #9 on:** 01 September 2011, 14:07:26 »

Goliath after losing a leg: *Warning! Actuactor Failure! Please Replace Left-Rear Actuactor Immediately!*

M-Rex · « **Reply #10 on:** 01 September 2011, 14:13:33 »

"Excuse, please. All your planet are belong to us."

VF1LAM · « **Reply #11 on:** 01 September 2011, 18:20:39 »

"Tetatae, does not compute..."

Wrangler · « **Reply #12 on:** 01 September 2011, 18:43:43 »

*Security Voliation, Ejection System disable, intiating Spoil Sport self-destruct sequence..1..0...Have a Nice Day.* {{{{{EXPLOSION}}}}}

CrossfirePilot · « **Reply #13 on:** 01 September 2011, 19:09:26 »

Traction Control Disengaged

Grim_Reaper · « **Reply #14 on:** 01 September 2011, 19:43:50 »

"Warning, opposing Mech outmatches this unit"
Atlas Targeting computer facing a Locust

Hersh67 · « **Reply #15 on:** 01 September 2011, 20:54:21 »

For a Manei Domini mech: toaster image missing, mission abort engaged.

M-Rex · « **Reply #16 on:** 01 September 2011, 20:59:25 »

"Choke point reached. Onboard toilet off-line. Bucket of snakes."

Crunch · « **Reply #17 on:** 01 September 2011, 21:00:09 »

Abort, Retry, Fail?

PC LOAD LETTER

lp0 on fire

I'm a fan of the classics.

CrossfirePilot · « **Reply #18 on:** 01 September 2011, 21:16:37 »

insufficient disk space

Grim_Reaper · « **Reply #19 on:** 01 September 2011, 21:57:35 »

"Warning - Air Conditioning Functional"

Wrangler · « **Reply #20 on:** 02 September 2011, 11:53:35 »

*Warning! Left and Right Torso LRM Launchers are now non-operational! Gyro Out of aligniment! Entering melee combat, prepare use arm actuators for combat.*

ARM Actuators?!?!?! This a Yeoman!!!!! Who programed this thing, Cogswell Cog?!!?!?

VF1LAM · « **Reply #21 on:** 02 September 2011, 12:02:06 »

@Wrangler: LOL. The Yeoman is one of the worst-looking 'Mechs known to exist. Who designed such an utter piece of ****?! #P

Grim_Reaper · « **Reply #22 on:** 02 September 2011, 16:24:37 »

"Warning - Catgirls detected"

Fallen_Raven · « **Reply #23 on:** 02 September 2011, 16:30:32 »

"Warning, Phantom Mech detected. Engaging ER Small Laser protocols. Primary weapons disabled. Bet you'll read the License Agreement next time won't you!"

"Error 513, error message not found."

"I'm afraid I can't do that Dave."

VF1LAM · « **Reply #24 on:** 02 September 2011, 17:46:04 »

"Don't argue with me, just get out..."

[computer talking to LAM pilot in the style of Roy Fokker addressing Rick Hunter]

Col.Hengist · « **Reply #25 on:** 02 September 2011, 18:09:01 »

( ticking of the keyboard) computer says nooo.../cough in your face.
ID10t error, must reboot in safe mode( in the middle of a battle)

Doug Glendower · « **Reply #26 on:** 02 September 2011, 18:26:33 »

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave."

Paladin1 · « **Reply #27 on:** 02 September 2011, 18:39:49 »

"Welcome to Windows 2995. Where would you like to go today?"

Grim_Reaper · « **Reply #28 on:** 02 September 2011, 20:22:11 »

Just before a computer crash

[AOL Voice]"You got Mail"[/AOL Voice]

CrossfirePilot · « **Reply #29 on:** 02 September 2011, 21:14:22 »

One from work:

That is a non HIPAA compliant file format...