Author Topic: The Corrupt-a-wish-o-matic. (Read 98930 times)

Maskerade · « **Reply #840 on:** 24 February 2014, 07:33:10 »

Quote from: StCptMara on 24 February 2014, 01:20:13

I wish that Michael Bay was no longer a sought after Hollywood Action Movie producer, and, instead,
was sought after for Romantic Comedies.

Your wish is granted. However, his directing style doesn't change, and every person who ever liked their RomComs without gratuitous explosions* blames it on you.

I wish my friends liked similar films to me.

*I would actually prefer this style.

Wrangler · « **Reply #841 on:** 24 February 2014, 07:35:48 »

Your wish is granted and all your friends like the same films as you. Then like all these you do, then do the same the job as you. Suddenly your removed the picture since they've became you. Now they fighting among your themselves to whom will be the one!

I wish people would fight over me.

sir_spamalot · « **Reply #842 on:** 24 February 2014, 11:09:45 »

Granted. A great war begins and wages in the skies above you. Unfortunately, one of the aircraft carrying on this battle loses control of it's engines and crashes right on top of you.

I wish I could really choose the next lays potato chip flavor....

awclawson · « **Reply #843 on:** 24 February 2014, 17:21:00 »

Quote from: sir_spamalot on 24 February 2014, 11:09:45

I wish I could really choose the next lays potato chip flavor....

Granted. While on the phone with them you drop your phone and in a rage of anger yell "CRAP". Since that is the last thing they hear from you before the phone goes dead they do their best to comply. You have a life time supply on its way to you.

I wish life was simple.

Maskerade · « **Reply #844 on:** 24 February 2014, 19:47:09 »

Quote from: awclawson on 24 February 2014, 17:21:00

I wish life was simple.

Wish granted. No life forms larger than single-cell organisms exist anymore. Everything else is transmuted back into the primordial soup.

I wish Heinz did the flavour "primordial soup"

Wrangler · « **Reply #845 on:** 24 February 2014, 21:12:26 »

Your wish is granted Heinz produces primordial soup, however the company runs into trouble after its discovered that new flavor was made out real primordial soup. The company is sued out of existence by various people who claim to be related to the soup.

I wish kittens weren't so darn cute.

sir_spamalot · « **Reply #846 on:** 25 February 2014, 11:02:12 »

Granted. They all end up looking like a cross between Gary Busey and Steven Tyler, but since no one wants them now, they all live with you.

I wish I had found better use for the 3000 posts I just reached.... ;D

pensiveswetness · « **Reply #847 on:** 25 February 2014, 16:41:09 »

Your wish is granted. Because of your valiant efforts walking (you didn't specify) from posts 1 thru 3000 (to include Army Posts, US Post Offices, VFW Posts and the building that houses all the machinery used to manufacture Post-it Notes) you get a honorable mention in the Book of Hall of Records...

I wish that the upcoming Godzilla 2014 has no chance of failing epically, story wise or profit wise (because Holy Fart, my FB just blew the hell up with the new trailer).

scJazz · « **Reply #848 on:** 25 February 2014, 17:19:02 »

Your wish is granted. In order to ensure there is no chance of the new Godzilla movie sucking it has been cancelled.

I wish I had more Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz ice cream.

Wrangler · « **Reply #849 on:** 25 February 2014, 18:59:11 »

Your wish is granted and you get more Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz ice cream, however you eat too much and started buzzing like Cellphone on vibrate.

I wish Early Republic era's wars weren't so bloody.

Maskerade · « **Reply #850 on:** 26 February 2014, 11:55:37 »

Quote from: Wrangler on 25 February 2014, 18:59:11

I wish Early Republic era's wars weren't so bloody.

You get your wish. A mixture of thermonuclear weapons and biological agents ensures that not a single drop of blood was spilled. Also, all human life has been eradicated.

I wish I could afford my cardboard/plastic crack habit :(

Wrangler · « **Reply #851 on:** 08 March 2014, 18:39:54 »

Your wish is granted, you can now afford crack again. However, its wrong kind of crack.

I wish Mobile Suit Gundam wasn't so lethal in table top form.

pensiveswetness · « **Reply #852 on:** 10 March 2014, 09:59:40 »

Granted! Lego's announces that they formed a partnership with Bandai to produce Lego-brand MSG tabletop games, after its found in court that the original use of miniaturized MSG's resulted in the same issues and product liabilities that corrupted the return of the Micronauts in the mid-2000 decade (plus all those Baron Karza, Force Commander and Barney The Purple Dinosaur Bestiality Memes did NOT help matters for Hasbro but it did get approvals from the 4-Chan community for it's wholesome moral values with Horses).

I wish i knew what other kinds of crack is considered 'bad'

Maskerade · « **Reply #853 on:** 10 March 2014, 12:29:20 »

Quote from: pensiveswetness on 10 March 2014, 09:59:40

I wish i knew what other kinds of crack is considered 'bad'

You get your wish. However, you don't have any brain bleach, and the terrible revelations make you go insane.

I wish my speech didn't do this.

Wrangler · « **Reply #854 on:** 10 March 2014, 18:48:13 »

Your wish is granted now it Does this instead.

I wish they wouldn't stop teaching kids penmenship in schools. I barely read the ones who did!!

sir_spamalot · « **Reply #855 on:** 21 March 2014, 13:18:23 »

Granted. They are all taught to write exactly as you do, which leads to the theft of your identity and a visit by the FBI.

I wish a Ghostbusters 3 had been made before Harold Ramis died.

BobTheZombie · « **Reply #856 on:** 21 March 2014, 16:06:27 »

Your wish is granted, but none of the original cast/writers are in it.

I wish MechWarrior Online had a singleplayer campaign.

Maskerade · « **Reply #857 on:** 21 March 2014, 16:57:11 »

Quote from: BobTheZombie on 21 March 2014, 16:06:27

Your wish is granted, but none of the original cast/writers are in it.

I wish MechWarrior Online had a singleplayer campaign.

Your wish is granted. Unfortunately PGI spend so much time on it that community warfare is cancelled.

I wish community warfare would hurry up and be released in a reasonable time frame.

Wrangler · « **Reply #858 on:** 22 March 2014, 08:40:02 »

Your wish is granted, however to get community warfare up quick enough, they resurrect GEnie's Multiplayer BattleTech: EGA with its MW1 graphics engine instead. Paying say fee of 5 dollars an hour.

I wish Battletech Living Legends hadn't abandoned for MWO.

BobTheZombie · « **Reply #859 on:** 22 March 2014, 10:11:21 »

Your wish is granted. MW:LL continued to expand and gained as many fans and special features as MW:O, insomuch that a civil war broke out between the two parties, eventually destroying both fanbases and causing each games' premature discontinuation.

I wish more people had an appreciation for good music.

Maskerade · « **Reply #860 on:** 22 March 2014, 14:51:56 »

Quote from: BobTheZombie on 22 March 2014, 10:11:21

I wish more people had an appreciation for good music.

Your wish is granted. They don't like the music you do.

I wish that hipsters didn't have to be so passive-aggressive about putting people down for the music they listen to.

awclawson · « **Reply #861 on:** 22 March 2014, 18:38:08 »

Quote from: Maskerade on 22 March 2014, 14:51:56

I wish that hipsters didn't have to be so passive-aggressive about putting people down for the music they listen to.

Granted. They are overly aggressive about music they do not like and take it out on you by scratching your face with a wire brush then squirt lemon juice on you.

I wish my carpet never needed to be vacuumed.

Dakkagor · « **Reply #862 on:** 23 March 2014, 06:33:00 »

Granted, the carpet is replaced with a genetically engineered, omnivorous, furry creature that eats dust, hair etc. However it quickly grows ravenous and starts on your pets, loved ones. . .

I wish for a new, top of the line PC with a sweet sound setup and top line graphics card.

Wrangler · « **Reply #863 on:** 23 March 2014, 10:32:59 »

Your wish is granted, you get your pc with a sweet sound system. However, you discover it doesn't work because its made out of sweet chocolate.

I wish Easter Egg hunters were more exciting.

Diamondshark · « **Reply #864 on:** 24 March 2014, 12:43:19 »

Granted, Easter Egg hunts are more exciting. Every child is now given a primitive gladiator-type weapon, and the last survivor gets all of the eggs. Millions of children die next Easter, and everyone blames you for the genocide.

I wish that I could have enough time to study for all my classes and pass the tests.

ClarkeMarek · « **Reply #865 on:** 24 March 2014, 14:45:44 »

Wish granted. You dropped out of college and are unemployed. All the time to study for tests and pass them, but no way to take the tests. :)

I wish I had a battleship.

BobTheZombie · « **Reply #866 on:** 24 March 2014, 14:51:43 »

Your wish is granted, but I just sunk your battleship.

I wish there weren't so few tigers in the wild.

Wrangler · « **Reply #867 on:** 24 March 2014, 14:57:23 »

Your wish is granted, there now more tigers instead and they find you and have for lunch encase their wished away.

I wish My Little Pony wasn't merged with Battletech.

Maskerade · « **Reply #868 on:** 24 March 2014, 19:40:34 »

Quote from: Wrangler on 24 March 2014, 14:57:23

Your wish is granted, there now more tigers instead and they find you and have for lunch encase their wished away.

I wish My Little Pony wasn't merged with Battletech.

Your wish is granted. However, something went wrong with the removal process, causing the entire battletech universe to be infested with Catgirls. The resulting genocide wipes out all life in the galaxy (it was the only way to be sure).

I wish my Ipod didn't run out of battery.

Diamondshark · « **Reply #869 on:** 24 March 2014, 23:07:45 »

Granted, your iPod has no battery now!

I wish that there was an interesting Davion after Hanse.