The Corrupt-a-wish-o-matic.

[Diamondshark]

Your wish is granted. Time travel is never used in scifi, but it features heavily in absolutely every single other genre.

I wish that I could make enough money to last until I get another job after the school year.

[Wrangler]

Your wish is granted, you get enough money to last the year!  Unfortunately, you discover that it was stolen and copper bagged you for the crime!

I wish there was a video game version Grand Theft Auto set in the Battletech universe.

[ClarkeMarek]

Your wish is granted, you get enough money to last the year!  Unfortunately, you discover that it was stolen and copper bagged you for the crime!

I wish there was a video game version Grand Theft Auto set in the Battletech universe.

"You can have my Mech when you pry the neurohelmet from my cold dead carcass."
"I consider the challenge....acceptable, freebirth."

 :D

Oh, wait, grant and corrupt, right?  OK, they make one, but it's only available for the Nokia N Gage, and there's more copies of "Rifts:  Promise of Power" out than there ever will be for this game. :)

If that isn't a full fledged corruption, I dunno what is. :P

I wish I didn't have to pay my speeding ticket.

[awclawson]

I wish I didn't have to pay my speeding ticket.

Granted.  The judge finds you innocent.  The cop is not happy and knows where you live.

I wish I had no worries.

[ClarkeMarek]

Congratulations.  You have no worries.  You have no cares.  Cause you're a bald headed son of a gun without hair.  Haven't seen Major Payne in ages.   :D   And sadly, that constitutes a corrupted wish.

I wish I had another job.

[Wrangler]

Your wish is granted, now you have exclusive clean up job at the hotel complex after Origins convention is closed and you get to do it all by yourself.

I wish was able to go to GenCon or Origins

[awclawson]

Granted. You now have the means to go. However they are now over.

I wish I had a pen that would never run out of black ink no matter how much I use it.  It has to be yellow.

[Red Ronin]

Granted - except it is always spewing black ink even when not in use, ruining countless shirts and papers. >:D

I wish we could get a decent Battletech TV series

[Terrace]

Granted. Except it's airing in another country that will never, ever, export it to where you live, and it'll be canceled before the first season ends because of terrible ratings.

I wish to be the richest man in the world.

[Wrangler]

You wish is granted, you now the richest man in world.  However "richest" is defined by C-Bills which don't exist in real world.

I wish I had fastest motorcycle in the world.

[Grognard]

Granted: you are now the owner of the fastest motorcycle in the world.

However: you become the fastest owner to ever wreck the fastest motorcycle in the world.

I wished I owned a real, functional medium laser.

[ClarkeMarek]

Wish granted.  You own a real, functional medium laser.  However, you get in trouble with the FAA(amongst other government agencies) for aiming it and firing it at a Cessna.

I wish I could MARS/CAP a radio! :)

[Wrangler]

Your wish is granted and your MARs radio is CAP.  Unfortunately too many people don't know what that is, so you get a radio shape of Mars with ice cap on it.

I wish a Blackwatch wasn't badly done Mech.

[StCptMara]

I wish a Blackwatch wasn't badly done Mech.

Granted! Now, the canon variants of the Black Watch are the gold standard of which all 'mechs are compared to.
This means, of course, that all 'mechs are similar or worse then the Black watch.

I wish the newspaper delivery at work was predictable, dependable, and reliable, and early or on time every day.

[sir_spamalot]

Granted. But you also find you've gone back in time to 1930 when newspapers and radio were taken more seriously.

I wish for more amusing stories about the fails of I Phone 6.   ;)

[Wrangler]

Your wish is granted, however Apples they described are from a Farm and their landing on people's heads.

I wish there were more comical stories involving BattleMechs and LAMs.

[awclawson]

Granted. Disney gets hold of battletech and infuses their teen and pre-teen characters into the story line. The whole BT story line is a laugh track comedy now.

I wish for a never ending and never cooling cup of coffee.

[Wrangler]

Your wish is granted, you are given your coffee.  However you discover that its so hot it metals steel.

I wish sub-orbital spacecraft used for passenger service across continents would become reality today.

[Trajan Helmer]

Granted!  Unfortunately, the suborbital passenger shuttle services crash every time a John Denver song is played during flight.

I wish CGL would immediately offer those glitzy Alpha Strike cards in Technical Readout Decks according to each TRO's units.  [drool]

I'd have so little money right now.

[Wrangler]

Your wish is granted, you have plenty of money. However it turns out its stolen money that marked and police have come for you!

I wish lag wasn't so bad on the internet.

[Red Ronin]

Granted. You no longer experience internet lag. Instead, you find reality has picked up lag.

I wish I had some functional battle armor...

[Caedis Animus]

Granted, but it has no weapons or stealth systems, only armor. And not a lot.

I wish I had a talking cat for a friend.

[Wrangler]

Your wish is granted, you now have a talking cat.  Unfortunately, he likes talk behind your back gossiping about you to the neighbors. 

I wish computer won't keep crapping out and giving expensive repair bill.

[awclawson]

Granted. You no longer have any computer.

I wish for a delicious piece of juicy cooked ham.

[StCptMara]

I wish for a delicious piece of jusy cooked ham.

Granted! You get Bugs Bunny on a spit. (what? he even admitted on several occasions that he was
"such a ham")

I wish Sy-fy had stayed The Sci-Fi Channel, and was successful, both financially and culturally, airing
nothing but great science-fiction.

[Caedis Animus]

Granted, but it's only available in Iraq, China, and for some reason, in North Korea.

I wish I had a terabyte flash drive.

[Wrangler]

You wish is granted, you have a Terabyte Drive. However the Corrupt-a-wish-o-matic misheard you and gave you a kilobyte drive instead.

I wish the next Star Wars movies weren't being made by Disney.

[Caedis Animus]

Granted, but they are directed by Uwe Boll and made by Syfy.

I wish I knew what the best-tasting food ever was.

[wolfgar]

Granted: you are hereby notified that the best tasting food in the world ever is Haggis.

I wish I could find a way to pay back the idiots i work with.   >:D

[Wrangler]

You wish is granted.  A bank gives you a loan to pay back your idiots you work for.
Unfortunately, it will be could decades till you pay off the loan.

I wish the holidays weren't so darn expensive.